The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: The Panthers Are Taking That Ass
Episode Date: April 16, 2025The Lightning...so? Was All-Pro linebacker Brian Orakpo ever actually an All-Pro? Does Zaslow have much Pearl Jam gear? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Everything is getting more expensive, rent, gas, groceries, and the last thing you need is credit card debt piling up.
There's a better way to build credit without interest or expensive fees.
With Chime's Credit Builder Visa Credit Card, you use money you set aside to build credit.
No credit check, no minimum deposit, and no annual fees.
Just make everyday purchases and pay on time.
Start building smarter credit today at Chime.com slash Dan.
That's Chime.com slash Dan. Good credit opens doors, better loan rates, easier apartment
approvals and financial peace of mind. Plus, with Chime, you can get paid up to two days
early and even access fee free overdraft up to $200 with SpotMe. Turn your everyday purchases
and on time payments into steps toward your financial
goals with Chime's Secured Credit Builder Visa Credit Card. Get started today at Chime.com
slash Dan. That's Chime.com slash Dan. Chime feels like progress. The Chime Credit Builder Visa
Credit Card is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. SpotMe eligibility requirements
and overdraft limits apply. Chime checking account is required to apply. Out of network Hey folks, it's Mike Ryan and if you're watching our show, you've probably known your boy has
undergone a little bit of a body transformation and I gotta tell ya Peloton has helped me on my fitness journey.
It got the ball rolling for me because I watch my wife on the Peloton, she takes all these
great classes, she has her favorite instructors, I listen to the music, I'm a big music guy,
gets me fired up, makes me want to take part in this fitness phenomenon known as Peloton.
Peloton offers a variety of challenging classes, from 4 week
strength building classes to running, cycling, and everything in between. Peloton will help
you achieve your goals and maybe you'll have some fun along the way. I know I have. It's
backed by thousands of members whose lives have been changed. Be part of that group.
Telling you, I'm better for it, have it in my office. Sometimes I can put on the baseball game.
Sometimes I can put on a soccer match.
Some other times I'm totally locked in on an emo playlist.
Find your push.
Find your power with Peloton at onepeloton.com.
This is the Dan Leventor Show with the StuGuts Podcast.
We've talked a lot today about tickets.
Zazzle is trying to go to Pearl Jam.
The NBA playoffs are starting.
The perfect app to use.
Download the Game Time app.
Create an account.
Use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase.
Terms apply.
Download Game Time today.
Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed.
Is anyone here aware, as we did everything that we did there
with Pablo and Sampson?
I've never seen Sampson laugh like that.
He was spasming.
It was real emotion.
He was violently spasming because he
knows how funny it is that I was apologizing for something
that embarrassed me, and then I did it again.
And I'm not sure the audience or you guys still know
what it is that I was apologizing for.
No idea.
In the dark, Dan.
I think you made it seem like you're angry at Pablo, right?
That's the impression I had when I walked in today.
A lot of people were confused earlier this week by something that I said because we were
making fun of the Peabody Award.
And the Peabody Award is a very prestigious award.
If you say so.
So you were apologizing to the Peabody.
No.
I'm lost.
Well, who then?
So no one still, as we do this, no one understands what I'm embarrassed about, what I'm lost Who then so no one still as we do this no one understands what I'm embarrassed about what I'm apologizing for and
Zazzle still doesn't know the truth of why it is Pablo would be mad at me and also is as I'm gonna get tickets
Yeah, I'm trying. I'm the only one trying huge story that needs a conclusion
But also Sam's Davidampson, you claim,
has a better ticket guy than you do?
Well, I thought that David Sampson,
by virtue of being in billionaire company,
would have a better ticket guy than I have,
but he said he couldn't get Pearl Jam tickets in a week
and couldn't necessarily get goods tickets and I think I can.
I have seen Samson's ticket guy at work and he's phenomenal.
He can get them the day off.
He just doesn't want to do it for Zasla.
That's that Samson made that clear.
We're not close.
We barely know each other.
I get that.
You know, I get it.
Zas, why don't people want to waste their good ticket guy on you?
Well, see that part I don't know because these are my good friends that I'm in the room with right now.
And it seems like they're a lot more interested in competing with each other than they are in helping me out.
I'm losing... I can't sleep at night.
At 3 a.m. last night, I rolled over in my bed.
It's all I can think about. I grabbed my phone.
I almost bought tickets for $2,000 last night. I can't sleep. I need to get my life back in order
I mean you've seen him a bunch though. I mean how many times can you okay? You sound like my wife all right?
Not sure that's the angle you're looking for right?
Really? I just feel like after the 16th time you know I feel like I got a got a good grasp on it. Because Pearl Jam, very much like Dead in Company,
you're getting basically a different show every time.
That's why we need to go to both shows next week,
because one show has nothing to do with the other,
and I cannot be sitting in my home
knowing that 10 minutes from my house,
Pearl Jam is playing, and instead,
I'm in the Zaslow Mansion family room,
on the couch, sitting in my underwear.
It can't be a different set list every time
Okay, but it is no it is they've got to have like ten that is you know again
It feels like you're trying to do the best impersonation of my wife that you possibly can and I can tell you right now
You're nailing it
I don't know who that is. Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy. I need to get my life back.
His lip is quivering.
Look, I've known Zazzle for a long time.
I've known Zazzle is crazy for a long time.
There is nothing in the world he is as crazy about as Pearl
Chainz.
It's so important to me.
The heat.
It's so important to me, and I'm super stressed at the idea
that I don't have tickets to these shows next week
because I am trying so hard.
Zazz, I give you the option of either lifetime tickets,
great seats to Pearl Jam.
I like this question, go on, go on.
Or you on the broadcast for Miami Heat
four in a row championships, the first since the Celtics,
all the way back in the 60s.
Okay, but I was on the broadcast for two heat championships. No,'m saying four in a row a two-time champion broadcast for I'm
Saying four in a row
On the broadcast for four in a row back to back to back to back like the like the big the big ped McGriff baseball right or
Well said thank you.
I knew exactly, I knew exactly what he was saying.
I did too, but he had to throw in Fred McGriff
after blah, blah, blah, blah,
sounded like Eddie Vedder.
Back to back, the back AAU champion.
There you go.
There you go.
Or, lifetime.
Crime dog.
Lifetime.
Lifetime, Pearl Jam, great seats,
not like front row, but great seats.
Any venue in the world that
Wow, what about five heat championships in a row, but I already have two I mean, okay
What about I mean you're doing this very poorly
I'm gonna have to stop you for a number of different reasons including that you're doing this very poorly. So just
Only two minutes rambling the question is as low who do you love more, Pearl Jam or the Heat?
Say it's Aslow.
You know the answer.
I love Pearl Jam more!
Yep.
Wow.
I love Pearl Jam more!
It's okay.
Holy shit!
I love Pearl Jam more!
You feel good?
You feel better?
I feel okay about it.
It doesn't mean I don't love the Heat.
I love Pearl Jam more!
Yep.
I said what I said.
I know you do.
Two-time champion broadcaster!
Okay, I can love other things as well in my life!
My love is not exclusive to one thing!
I can't believe that!
Pearl Jam or wife?
Well, see, I mean, now...
Take it easy, Zazzle, take it easy!
I care about you, man!
Really tough scenario, I don't know why you're putting me in that position.
Does she watch this? Answer it.
What an asshole.
He can't just take what's there.
He has to always ask for more.
Just say your wife for crying out loud.
Of course, my wife.
Good, good man, good man.
The better way to ask that question is
who do you like better, the heat or your wife?
Cause then he can just.
Like a little tournament to get the pearl
Play it why for heat my wife my kids the panthers Pearl Jam this will play in here
I actually want to see if David Sampson can negotiate how much free work out of
if David Sampson can negotiate how much free work out of Zazz in exchange for free Pearl Jam tickets.
I wanna ask you guys two questions.
One starts with, last segment.
Hope my wife's not listening.
She's not, I assure you, she's not.
The last segment, okay, Roy and Zazz,
I wanted to carry us into hockey playoffs.
Here they come.
What a magical time.
You and I were ready to sit back and watch two guys talk.
Cook.
We were going to watch Roy and Zazz cook.
And Roy decided to do a lot... analysis in against the spread that gave
us the start to some hockey but alls as low gave us while i was trying to get
let's pay interest like they hate each other let's see what we could uh...
should get there
i felt off of my partner of twenty years here that still got to felt at the same
thing that i did which is we were tossing a lot of designs well we were gonna watch the long we're gonna watch the boys work for
a while
and then both stugats and i got confused by
get that ass
yeah as analysis
yeah it's just like and we have to come back to the mike i was expecting that
i have a hockey show sometimes on Friday,
like they break it down and they'll explain to you
what's happening between Tampa and Florida.
But get that ass took.
It's not helpful.
It just wasn't helpful.
That's right.
It's been a full year since the Panthers met up
with the Tampa Bay Lightning in the playoffs.
It's time we take that ass again.
Yeah.
That's what's on tap. Lightning, Panthers, playoffs. But take that ass again! Yep. Yeah! That's what's on tap!
Lightning!
Panthers!
Playoffs!
Let's take that ass! Who doesn't understand what that means?
Us.
Ain't nobody scared of the lightning, man.
World Raw 3.
Or no, 4, right?
Which one is it?
Yeah, 4.
Yeah, yeah.
We got him.
Again, the taking of the ass.
Why take it?
You know exactly what he means.
Why not take it?
They're not gonna give it to you?
It's not analysis.
You have to take it.
It's anal asses.
Yeah.
I'd rather kick it.
Kick that ass, not take it.
The Panthers and the Lightning are in front of me,
and somebody, and in this case it was you,
says what's gonna happen, sometimes less is more.
Panthers can take that ass.
Yeah, I'm with Zazz on this.
You take that ass.
Yeah.
But we wanted more. No, no, no this you take that ass. Yeah, but we wanted more I mean no no we take that ass. Dubai tell me what else I saw a post on Twitter yesterday
How the Toronto Maple Leafs yeah that they won the division guess what it's been two years
And that's two years too long could take that ass too. Oh, we're taking two asses
Two asses.
Two asses.
Cuttin' it up.
I remember when Tampa was the ass taker.
That was a long time ago, Dan.
Long time ago.
Kuturov took our ass.
Wasn't that long ago.
Wasn't that long ago.
Is the ass they're taking now,
are they taking their own ass back,
or is that a new ass ass?
They're claiming that no ass was taken last night, that that was just five to one Tampa, and it doesn't matter
We played half the squads playing guys. I never even heard of yeah doesn't matter understood. It's still Tampa so
But there's no
Once you take the ass it's yours, I mean I recall the last two post seasons what happened
Panthers taking that ass
So after they took the ass with a new ass came out and they took that ass too
Yeah, I mean you see you can't play without an ass like a lizard tail
Yeah, and they're gonna meet again this weekend in Tampa look sir. He starts in Tampa
That's okay, because you know what's gonna happen anyway.
Take that ass!
I can't believe I'm sitting in the middle of a market
where I just saw our resident legend radio hockey people
have the back and forth efficient exchange of Tampa, so?
What do you mean Tampa, so? What do you mean Tampa so?
Tampa's been a haunting franchise
that made you completely change everything
that you were doing blueprint wise
because they've owned Florida for the last seven years.
Dan, I think we're wrong on this.
I mean, the Panthers just won a Stanley Cup.
I mean, they should be max confident right now.
You understand how I'm watching basketball and everyone still hears, I don't know about
LeBron. I don't know about Steph. And both of you are like Tampa So. You can't look at
me in the face, see what this franchise has done for 30 years and go Tampa
So I bet you that's okay on playa. No, I can I hit Sue guts ask me right now pose the question Tampa Panthers
What do you think? Good? Go play it out for you again?
Look Dan in the face. Okay. Yeah, look him right in the eyes. Okay
Lightning Panthers. What do you think? Look at this face while I tell this to you?
Okay, cuz I don't want there to be any kind of confusion. You look me right in the eye
That's gonna take that ass man. Hmm Dan. You look right in the eye
Dan I'm looking you right at the eye right now. Oh wow. This is serious. You want the smoke Roy go on yeah, so
Right guys, I'm saying so coming back here to0 series lead. Yep. I'll take the smoke.
That's right.
This is beat for beat exactly how Icarus went down, right?
Like he was flying and he said, the sun
going to take that ass.
Who?
The sun melted that ass.
Something happened yesterday on the show
that I need to show the audience because it's the reason that John Amici,
John Amici, a hero of mine for a lot of reasons,
is braving customs and everything else
to fly in here and make sure that our company
is protected during a prosperous time.
And so that we can do all the corporate exorcism
around here we have to do so that David Samson cannot win
He cannot be the one who wins at the end
It has to be the rest of us that way and it cannot be David Samson
I'm just like the visual you've created of braving customs like he's like fighting through walks through the gate
I got really it's just like a sad like s line where he's just like got global entry to he walks right in
Yeah, he comes right in. Hyah! He comes right in the way Amin catches the red eye.
And Gaal's just in.
He's Uber driver.
Launching like just,
I wish I had video of you running through that airport.
Like OJ.
From Golden State,
Memphis to get to this thing.
Jumping over the chair.
I'm telling you, and people in the
airport like to take their sweet time when they walk and don't let them be in
a group of two or three they'll walk as wide as possible and so the moving walk
ways which it should help couldn't use them because I just I saw it as a
sprinting there's like three or four people three these clumps I'm like
that's not gonna work you got on your on your left! Come on. Not even.
Let's go.
Just skipped it.
Skating by?
I ran manual, manual, right here, just like OJ.
Running, hurtling, I even had a trench coat,
I didn't even bring it to the airport,
but all of a sudden it's under my arm.
Just a beer there.
Are we allowed to play that commercial?
I think that commercial is so old
that I don't believe that many people listening to this
have any idea what you're talking about.
But it's like one of,
it might be the first famous sports commercial.
Oh yeah, I mean look,
O.J. was one of the first famous pitch men who,
you know, if you think about the evolution
of the sportsman as a pitch man, right?
Usually it's, I'm here in my jersey
with my ball underneath my arms you know what
i do and then it turns into i'm wearing colors that are similar to the colors of
my jersey and other people around a play the sport but i'm not and then it's the
pete manning levels the highest of which is i can just be a regular dude
army to explain to you who i am right that's the highest level of fame right? Oh, Jay was that like yes the running through the airport because he's oh, Jay
But it's like he didn't have anything identifying him as a football player. There was no football in the background
It was just him sprinting through the airport
What are you smiling about Taz? Lo? I'm just thinking of a mean running through the airport. It's funny. Yeah
Puffin and puffing. The funny visual.
I love the commercials where they're like, hey,
is that Brian Arakpo?
Because it's like you don't know unless they say his name.
Well, I bet you we can do a whole show about all of those
because that happens a lot.
Hell, they put two in uniform because nobody
was going to recognize him.
He's right, though.
Brian Arakpo is like the one.
He has no business being in a commercial.
He's not the one.
In that commercial, they had to say, hey, look,
it's three-time Pro Bowler, Brian Aracbo, or whatever it was.
It's what it was.
It's exactly what it was.
His resume?
There's a CarMax or whatever commercial that has-
His name was spelled out phonetically.
That has Sue Bird and Sinead and stuff.
And it's like, hey, did you have to settle
when you won two MVPs and a three title?
Like, that's that when they're doing the resume reading,
that means nobody knows who you are.
But we can play the game.
If we open that up right now to the audience
and had something live to interact with the audience,
you'd get 50 funny ones like that,
because commercials have to do that all the time
when they want to go to sports for sponsorship
but they're going to somebody who doesn't cross over.
This is why I love all the head and shoulders commercials
now with Mahomes because Troy Palamalo's in it
but he's been in those commercials for so long
we don't even have to explain.
It's just he's a guy with great hair
and of course he does head and shoulders commercials.
What are you smiling about, Zaslow?
I'm just, I can't stop thinking about him
running through the airports.
All right, can you guys find video, please,
of a mean racing Pablo and whoever else it was
when we did those races outside of the Clevelander
that were a liability risk, and eventually ESPN
took him away from us.
What popped in my head was the old Dan Marino
isotonal gloves commercials, because
Those were great. We're not wearing gloves in Miami. It's too hot.
But what are we doing now?
But Marino was wildly famous at the time. Marino's not three-time Pro Bowl or Brian Arakbo.
Like that's a phrase.
You knew it was Marino.
I don't know if... find out for me what he said because he might not have been a three-time Pro Bowl.
I think they might have actually given him more Pro Bowls in the commercial than he actually had just because they were false
Advertising I feel like it was a cupcake commercial via Microsoft's like look. It's Brian Iraq. Bo Michael Griffin. You're like who?
Can they were making their own cupcakes in that commercial yeah, dad a business you know Roy when you said isotone
I didn't think a damn Reno. I thought of OJ
I didn't think of Dan Marino. I thought of OJ
There are three brands there are three brands that are always associated with OJ
number one Isotoners number two for Bronco number three Bruno Mali shoes. I mean look at me
Look at him running now that OJ is the first this is the first commercial of this kind
We're talking about.
They're imagining you running through an airport,
looking like the first commercial there was
anywhere on television for anything
involving someone from sports.
Yeah, I mean look, and by the way,
as they're showing this video, sans any context.
The context of me coming off a red eye, nobody cares.
The context of me wearing Jordan 5s, nobody cares.
Yeah, like there's heavy shoes, sweats and stuff.
Billy's wearing not 90s ass shorts,
but like some modern stuff.
Billy, former D1 athlete.
Also, I cooked Pablo, but no one ever seems to mention
that Pablo came in third in that race.
And then Chris came in and I won't lie,
I was kind of blown away by how fast Chris was.
At what point during the running through the airport
did you text the Uber driver and let him know
that you got there?
After I got on the plane.
When you were sitting, right?
I had to say, I don't want to.
You had to sit down, catch your breath, right?
If I text him and then I don't catch the flight,
now I feel like an idiot, so I had to make sure
it was confirmed, I'm on the plane.
You don't wanna look stupid in front of the Uber.
No.
And you don't wanna jinx it, right.
I found some audio here of one of these Arakpo commercials.
You said you'd get me on the field.
I did get you on the field.
You are Brian Arakpo, all pro lying back.
You could do better than this.
You think he was ever all pro?
I wanna say thank you after he tells me who it is I don't think I don't think please look up whether he was actually
an all-pro oh he had to know I felt like I I thought the reason I'm remembering
commercial from 20 years ago is because they also got it wrong to be fair that's
a very confusing thing about football to have all-pro and pro, that's a very confusing thing about football.
To have all-pro and pro-bowl.
That's too many pros.
I thought he was a pro-bowler and not an all-pro.
Too many pros.
You are Brian Aracpo, all-pro linebacker.
Surely you could do better than this.
Four-time pro-bowler, I mean.
But is that all-pro?
That's not all-pro.
That's all-pro.
No, it's not.
Never an all-pro.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
The other room is saying never an all-pro.
All right. Completely different. All right. Why are you? I Never an all pro. No it's not. The other room is saying never an all pro. All right.
Completely different.
All right.
Why are you?
I mean you made the pro bowl.
You're all pro.
No, all pro is they need first team all pro,
second team all pro.
Oh no.
Pro bowlers, you can be like the seventh replacement.
I'm gonna stick up for Suvats on this one.
Thank you.
That's football's fault.
Right.
Why are you naming things the same thing?
They're two different awards.
Thank you, man. Have two different names. Mm-hmm. things the same thing? Yeah, there's two different awards. Thank you names mm-hmm
Again, you should have said pro bowler. They're wrong. That's correct. This is the part. I'm getting to I don't understand why everybody
Yes, two guys is still like still don't know and I'm like no the reason that it's funny is not merely because Andrew Luck is
over-annunciating
Introducing to an audience. Here's this person with a funny name.
That's not Andrew Luck, that was a caveman.
No, I'm joking!
Okay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's the 50th anniversary of Miller Lite, and for many of those 50 years, they've
been partnered up with The Dan Levitard Show, back to our terrestrial radio days, all throughout national syndication, pirate face, where we are now. So grateful
for that partnership because, you guys know, we believe it, it's a beer for people who
love their beer, and hopefully our audience loves their beer enough to always trust Miller
Light, like I do. From game night parties with friends, or a special anniversary, like
20 years together on air, celebrating important occasions means more moments with the coolest people in your life.
Cheers to 50 years of Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people who love beer
since 1975.
It's Miller time.
Miller Lite is brewed for taste.
Simply put, it just hits different because of those simple ingredients like malted barley
for rich, balanced toffee note flavors and the iconic golden color.
Oh and that white can. Do I love that white can? 96 calories. like malted barley for rich, balanced toffee note flavors and the iconic golden color.
Oh, and that white can. Do I love that white can? 96 calories.
And just 3.2 grams of carbs per 12 ounces, Miller Time is always a good time.
Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories.
Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you,
or you can pick up Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
It's Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time, celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Guys, tech is not really my thing.
And as I'm trying to build out a website recently,
I'm really starting to feel kind of frustrated.
Do you ever feel overwhelmed trying to manage
your web hosting while juggling a million other tasks
sort of like I do?
Even if tech isn't your thing, like me,
Kinsta's managed WordPress hosting is just a relief.
Their expert team handles it all.
And with Kinsta, there's always a human ready to help
rather than an automated bot.
We've all been there, something goes wrong,
you just need an answer or some help.
But instead of being able to ask a question,
you're dealing with some fancy AI-powered chat bot who doesn't understand your issue. That's not going to
happen with Kinsta. There's always a real-life human ready to help out.
Kinsta will give you peace of mind and let you focus on your business rather than dealing
with tech issues. For us, that means more time watching games and getting you the best
takes possible without having to worry about troubleshooting tech issues. Tired of being
your own website support team? Switch your hosting to Kinsta and get your first month free. And don't worry
about the move. They'll handle the whole transition for you. No tech expertise required. Just visit
Kinsta.com slash Dan to get started. That's K-I-N-S-T-A dot com slash Dan.
Ever feel like your paycheck disappeared before you even know where it went? You're not alone.
Tracking your spending can be tricky, especially when little expenses sneak up on you.
Late night food deliveries, impulse online shopping, sporting event tickets, and don't
even get me started on organic baby wipes and diapers.
Finances can feel overwhelming, but Monarch Money makes it simple.
Think of it as your personal CFO, giving you full visibility and control so you can stop
just earning and start growing.
More than just a budgeting app, Monarch Money is a complete financial command center, helping
you manage accounts, investments and goals all in one place.
Levitarch elucidators get 50% off their first year by using code DAN at MonarchMoney.com.
Without a clear financial picture, your biggest money goals can feel out of reach.
Monarch Money makes managing your finances effortless,
even for busy lives.
It takes all your accounts, credit cards, and investments
so you always know where your money stands.
No more guessing, no more stress,
just a clear organized view of your financial life.
Get control of your overall finances with Monarch Money.
Use code dan at monarchmoney.com in your browser
for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year at MonarchMoney.com with code Dan.
Dan Lebatard. World War 3. Stugats. We're going to get that off the ground. World War
3 colon. Our group chat has a pretty good feeling about this one. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the Stugats.
The thing that I was trying to get to here with the rest of you is I legitimately feel bad for
Mike Ryan who has left the show in disgrace today because he went viral yesterday
the way that he went viral.
I need to jump in real fast.
I just got a text from David Sampson.
I hope this is meant for air.
I got Zazz Pearl Jam tickets, texted Dan,
need answer ASAP, total rush job.
Oh.
Am I telling David yes?
Or are we working on better tickets?
I mean, I'm gonna get him two for each night.
I'll follow up, let's clarify.
Let's get David back on to see, to negotiate free work
from Zaslow on behalf of the company
if indeed this is something that he can execute.
I don't think people understand what a hard thing
David Sampson just did.
Like that, this is difficult.
Look, locally Pearl Jam does not play.
Never!
Like, and Pearl Jam is at the end of this, and my wife and I have gone and seen Pearl
Jam because we don't think they're going to play much, very much anymore, and Zaslow cares
about Pearl Jam more than I know.
You see this?
What's your number one?
It says Pearl Jam on it.
That's what it says to Stu gots a successful reader.
You're the audience.
The audience didn't know, Dan.
As a successful wearer of Pearl Jam,
you have much Pearl Jam gear.
I have much Pearl Jam gear.
Well, we've got to negotiate on air then, right?
The thing that I was beginning to say about the things
happening at our company, because Sampson's getting
more and more power, and we've gotta be careful about that.
Well, you have to.
Everybody needs to be.
Everybody needs to be, because,
what are you, give me the thumbs up?
I'm seeing Samson in my Zoom screen right now,
so he's here.
Okay, I'm telling you, Samson got you,
I'm just telling you what he did.
Oh, look at that, put him, look at that.
He got you two tickets each night,
they're probably last row tickets, that's not what you want so so can you do better
I'm trying are you I have not yet begun to try but I'm guessing that I could
well what's better I don't know what let's see what Samson got well but let's
negotiate this let's watch Samson in negotiation but before I do that because
I just do want to get to the thing i was saying uh...
i feel bad because mike ryan left the show the i don't know why he left the
show today
but there was shame involved for him yesterday in going viral in a costume
and uh... one of the reasons that john a me she is here wrestling david samson
to make sure that our company is run correctly so that everybody feels cared for
is at least in part because we're trying to make the show better than it has been and because
costumes around here are not something that anyone will wear even though a bunch of people
own a bunch of different punishments and our customers want costumes and yesterday by accident
Mike Ryan wearing a costume went viral which is
my favorite thing i think we should get bonuses david
when anybody goes viral wearing a costume
but it wasn't as he intended he was just wearing a ridiculous shirt
and so what ended up happening is he comes after ryan clark
and ryan clark got some information wrong
mike sounded pompous but Mike was also right,
but Mike was wearing a ridiculous shirt.
So can you guys put up, please, the video of,
or I'm sorry, the picture of the shirt
that Mike Ryan was wearing?
Yeah, and so you guys.
He deserves it, whatever he's getting at.
But you guys can see why that would be embarrassing
Yeah, that's well said
From a guy wearing a pearl jam sweater says Pearl Jam
He wanted to go to whatever that sureness
Alright so start the negotiation Samson. Let's watch you negotiate.
How much free work are you?
You've got the tickets, you've got them secure.
Good to see you, David.
How are you?
Hello, how are you doing?
Jesus Christ, don't do that.
David's still laughing from his hit earlier.
It's a very simple equation
that we're about to solve for here.
I need to know how badly you really like Pearl Jam
because I don't have the tickets yet.
I need a 10 second sound bite that Eddie Vedder will see
cause he makes the decisions and I need 10 seconds
on why you deserve two tickets
to the Thursday night show in Florida.
I've been seeing Pearl Jam every tour
since I was 16 years old. They're one of the most important things in the world to me and the best part about going to see Pearl Jam now is I now
Also take my now 16 year old son. He accompanies me to all the shows that I go to so it's a huge father-son
Bonding moment now. It's one of the greatest gifts. I have in my life is seeing this band with my son
I think you could do better
This is going to Eddie Vedder, buddy.
He loves family.
That was great with Eddie Vedder.
Sing something.
That wasn't great, man.
What?
Give us some yellow lead better.
It felt very rote.
I need you to tap into emotion.
I need you to get emotional.
I need you to, that father-son bond, I need you to really bring it to the surface
and also a little musicality to it too.
Listen, listen, look at this face right here.
Can the camera get on me please?
Not on a mean, look at me, look at me.
Look at this face.
This is a tired face right here.
This is a face that is stressed.
This is not a healthy face right now.
And the reason that this face looks like this right now
is because this has consumed my life. I need to see Pearl Jam in my home city. I live just 10 minutes
away from the Hard Rock Live and I'm going to be sitting in my home on my couch in my
underwear while Pearl Jam is playing the Hard Rock Live. I need to be at this show.
Yeah, too long. We're going to have to take three with a couple rules one thing no mention of skivvies
Let's start with that. What's a skivvy Eddie's not interested in your undies put it on the pole at lebatard show
Have you ever heard anyone a refer to underwear as skivvies at lebatard show on the TV?
What you want him to try a third time? What are these like?
I appreciate that you're treating him like a trained monkey here, but I would like for you guys
to actually negotiate.
No, but David was saying this video
was gonna help David secure the ticket,
so he needs to be good.
Thank you, sir.
I didn't realize we needed a translator.
I will hit on something that will really tug
on David's heartstrings here, okay?
If I may, here's the problem.
You're delivering it as a radio professional,
which means you have a great, direct voice, it's clear, it's strong, but right now, you're delivering it as a radio professional, which means you have a great direct voice, it's clear, it's strong,
but right now, you're begging, buddy.
And you can't.
I don't think it's, it's not nice,
it's not right for me to grovel, okay?
Well you gotta grovel, it's any better!
No, I have self-respect, all right?
I'm not gonna grovel, I'm not gonna grovel here,
but like, but something that.
You've been groveling.
Yeah.
You've been, you come in here today use our platform to gravel well I mean it's that's your
interpretation but I will I will say something that will tug at David's
heartstrings here I already told you but some people work for food okay I will
work for Pearl Jam tickets that's right I'm here I'm here actually I'm here
tomorrow but I could also come on Friday I work the rest of the week David. I know how much you love saving money
I've seen it firsthand been a Marlin fan since 1993. I know how much you love you're not trying to convince David
So why what do you mean? I'm trying to cut a statement of course Eddie
Okay, Eddie better doesn't care about my time with the Marlins.
Now, Zass, let me tell you right now.
The tone you hit right there, excellent.
That's where I want you to be.
Stay right there.
Oh, but wait a minute.
But now the content has to be up there.
I mean, you're right to coach him this way.
But if we were to test sort of how Zaslow feels about things,
however much he loves Pearl Jam is how much he hates David
Sampson saving money on the Marlins.
But the point is, that David brought up,
is like, you're not supposed to impress David,
you're impressing Eddie Vedder.
So talking about the Marlins, Eddie Vedder's like,
I don't give a shit about the Marlins.
He gives a shit about Pearl Jam, so use that tone,
but talk about Pearl Jam, bring back the son element,
I really like that family vibe.
Do that, but with that same tone.
I mean, he's missing something though.
What's he missing?
He has something, he has an ace in his back pocket
that he hasn't played, he hasn't thought of it yet.
He's got his own name in a Pearl Jam song done by this show
that he could also put out and be like, listen to this.
I'm so Pearl Jam, my name is a part of the song.
That's true, that's true.
And feel free to mention Zazz if you don't mind
that you did not get what you're wearing for free
That's right. Yeah, you pay for your merch and they get a better cut
They get a better cut on the merch than they do on the on the show tickets
Tell them everything. All right. Listen this I'm looking straight at you Eddie Vedder and your bandmates. I
wrong camera
Okay
I've Ed I'm looking straight at you, Ed,
as you can tell by me looking right at the camera.
Okay, I would never look at the opposite camera.
I would never look at the wrong one.
I'm looking right at you.
I love your band so much.
You have given me some of the greatest nights of my life.
Since I was a young Jonathan Zaslow,
since I was a young man trying to figure out
who I am in this world, okay?
You helped me discover who I am. And then, as I got older, I had children.
And I now get to take my teenage boys to the shows with me.
It's a family affair, Eddie, alright?
And the idea that I would miss this time with my family and you
We're all part of it together. We're all a family
I gotta be there to see you at the hard rock live next week to complete our
Family we need to be together
And I paid for this right here this this merch, with my hard earned money.
That's right, I work so that I could also buy merchandise.
Okay.
Now sing it.
Please stop pushing him.
We're good here, Stu.
Please, please.
Let's not get caught.
Always asking for more.
He cannot help.
He cannot help.
It's gonna say it on his tombstone.
Always asking for more.
He's a living heaven. Always asking for more.
I don't understand. Before we get to Zazzler.
I'm very nervous.
This is what I don't understand.
Perhaps our crack training team here
will explain to me what happened.
Please explain to me how in the other room,
Tony wants to throw it to a song
and surprises an executive producer with a thick song
who's still looking for it
because they didn't coordinate to play that song
like producers would as Tony was talking about it.
There it is.
Just some of this.
Screaming, pounces his fists on the AAA concrete again
Dreamin', hopin' he'll see the legend Glen Rice play more games
Oh yeah, oh Hentai
Moron sandwiches and it's a little peculiar
Oh yeah, oh Thor, oh, weeding ribs with his hands is insane
Oh yeah, oh yeah
John's eyes low, how you love that catchphrase? Bad news for opposing teams in the triple-A. He's all smiles till the blood's a clutch again, clutch again, clutch again.
Samson, I need your help here.
Close this out.
Get him Pearl Jam tickets and what does it cost?
How much does he have to work for free?
So the video did help because I clipped, sent,
response received.
What?
That was quick.
This is how we work here at MetalArk.
He's got a better ticket guy.
And he better is more responsive
than Sugata's ticket guy.
He's got a better ticket guy than I do.
Sad yes.
I've seen this ticket guy at work.
He's fantastic.
So here's how we're gonna do it, and and we're organized enough to do this despite all evidence to the contrary is
That I would like to help make a memory for you and your son on Thursday night with two premium best tickets
You've ever had
Turn you got what I'm gonna need from you
I'm gonna need your best work and I'm gonna need it throughout the Panthers run to defend their Stanley Cup
Yeah, while the Panthers are still in the playoffs
So for free you need right two appearances per round that they are in until they're eliminated
That's nothing David easy work. I'm in David. David, why are you starting?
I'm in.
Low, David.
Right.
Oh, because they're going to go to the Stanley Cup and we're
going to get six to eight days of Zazz.
He would do six months for free.
That's what Dan is saying.
You're coming in very cheap, David.
David, that do you not?
I'm coming in to close.
I'm a closer.
Yep.
That's how you get a deal done.
You know what I want. I'm not. I'm not closer. Yep, that's how you get a deal done. You know what I want.
I'm not going to be a snore.
I'm not going to grovel because he could have gone on Game Time
and saved himself a few seconds of video.
Love Game Time.
I've got to stop everybody here.
Roy, you're as disappointed as I am here, right?
Don't do that.
Do you know how much Zaslow would give up to have this?
I said six months.
Having him come in here
Like a few times not a chore either love coming in here. Love it. I don't have any idea Samson
You're are you gonna be negotiating on behalf of metal arc like I need you to not be if that's how poorly you do it I
Would like you to evaluate that at the end of the Stanley Cup run because my bet is the Panthers are gonna go all the way,
Sly Fox, and I believe that there is an opportunity
to have Zazz add to your show, make you happy,
and do it with the price being.
I'll make you so happy.
All right, so David, I know Zazzalow is thinking this,
he doesn't wanna ask it, I'll ask for him.
How about the second night?
What a schnurr, what a schnurr!
You're thinking it though. My snore. But wait a minute.
So I feel like I can get the second night.
Oh!
This is what it's talking about.
I feel, but wait, but how much, what's legal here, David?
I already told my guy, forget it.
In terms of how, how.
He didn't have a guy.
Stugats was gonna be the hero, but...
Buddy, I like to let other people shine. David, you can have this one. He's unselfish. He's unselfish.
What can I do here to get the payoff?
All right. Are you here tomorrow?
Yeah.
For free.
David, are there legalities involved here? Because I don't feel like you know, you
negotiated that very well. I feel like we could get we might
be committing a crime. Well, I just feel like I'm just stunned
that David came in so low on something that he got when the
return he could have gotten his free work from an employee.
Maybe he appreciates that I'm a nice boy. We are getting free work for what I perceive
to be the chance of eight extra days plus Friday.
So that's nine.
But David, we're telling you, Dan and I know Zaslow.
He would have done eight months is what we're telling you.
Zaslow would work for free for a year for this company
in exchange for what you're offering him.
Well, Panthers don't play year round.
David, they're just calling you Nico Harrison right now.
It's just a terrible trade.
It's a terrible.
You understand that defense wins championships?
All right, we got to revisit this.
Goodbye.
My man.
Folks, listen up.
They're here and they're hot.
Get ready because Jimmy John's is turning up the heat.
After years of perfecting the cold sandwich,
toasted sandwiches are finally here.
Try one of their three all new toasted creations.
The toasted chicken bacon ranch, all natural chicken, creamy homestyle ranch, applewood
smoked bacon, melted provolone fresh veggies, all on a perfectly toasted french bread.
Good God does that sound delicious.
Or the toasted roast beef and cheddar, premium roast beef, melty cheddar, creamy horseradish
sauce, crispy fried onions, fresh veggies, golden toasted French bread.
It just keeps getting better.
And the toasted ultimate Italian salami, capicola, smoked ham, applewood smoked bacon, melted
pro-blown shredded parmesan, fresh veggies toasted to perfection.
Or take your favorite Jimmy John classics like the number nine Italian nightclub or
the number 11 country club and get them toasted.
Order now at JimmyJohns.com on the Jimmy John's app or stop by your local Jimmy John's today.
It's the 50th anniversary of Miller Lite.
And for many of those 50 years, they've been partnered up with the Dan Levitard show, back
to our terrestrial radio days all throughout national syndication, pirate face, where we
are now.
So grateful for that partnership because you guys know, we believe it.
It's a beer for people who love their beer.
And hopefully our audience loves their beer enough to always trust Miller Lite, like I
do.
From game night parties with friends, or a special anniversary like 20 years together
on air, celebrating important occasions means more moments with the coolest people in your
life.
Cheers to 50 years of Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people who love beer since 1975. It's Miller Time. Miller Light
is brewed for taste. Simply put, it just hits different because of those simple ingredients
like malted barley for rich, balanced, toffee note flavors and the iconic golden color. Oh,
and that white can. Do I love that white can? 96 calories. And just 3.2 grams of carbs per 12 ounces, Miller Time is always a good time.
Miller Lite.
Great taste.
96 calories.
Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up Miller
Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
It's Miller Time.
Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.