The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: The Top 176 Jokes from Airplane

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

Who was better at the peak of their powers: Nikola Jokic or Shaquille O'Neal? Is Meatballs a good movie? Have you seen Airplane? Then, Mina Kimes is here to tell us about her favorite movies from childhood, her thoughts on the Brady roast, and explain the loss of music great Steve Albini before answering some important questions about the NFL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Phone Suite Home. Welcome to Canada's number one prepaid mobile provider, Chattermobile. Come on in, make yourself comfortable with no commitment, no credit check and no overages. Wear your phone away from home. Visit chattermobile.com for details. This is the Don LeBattor Show with the Stugats Podcast. ["Start of the Day"]

Start of the day, start of the day, and this is the start of the day. Start of the day, start of the day, and this is the start of the day. Start of the day. Start of the day. It is the start of the day. Start of the day. Start of the day. It is the start of the day. Start of the day. Start of the day. It is the start of the music that celebrates the man who won his third MVP yesterday. of the day from that big man Nicola godlike skills put on display but we're feeling so plus setting records all the time we've become so indifferent We're all born but what the hay

Jokic stat of the day This is from Statmuse, Jokic just won his third MVP. That means he now has more MVPs than this combination of players. Oh, come on. Jerry West, Elgin Baylor, Isaiah Thomas, Dwyane Wade, Kevin Durant, and here's the big finish, Kobe Bryant. Oh, boy. Come on. More MVPs than all of them combined. Because, and all in a row, and he's amazing and great, and we're still making Anthony Edwards

the next Michael Jordan, and we're still wandering around over here when you're faced with something that is impossibly unprecedented. Needs another ring though, right? I mean, just to validate the first one. I don't know, I think. Three MVPs, one ring, that's four,

that puts him in rarefied air, but a second ring. I would say that the three MVPs in a row puts him in the most rarefied of airs. Well, not in a row. One in between. Three out of four. Apologies. And then Shaq in the middle.

That's the one that makes me crazy. The one that Shaq lost to Steve Nash? Just that, how could Shaq have an MVP one time? One time? Nuts. One time. Like I know how great Jokic is, but if I told you right now,

Prime Jokic or Prime Shaq, I'm taking Prime Shaq, right? No. No? I mean, I know I'm like 12 years old. Well, but hold on, hold on, hold on. It was a different game when Shaq was playing. Hold on.

Shaq is the most dominant thing, physically, that we've ever seen in the history of that sport. Jokic is a different skill set for this time, right? So for this time, offensively, I think I might be tempted to take Jokic because of all of the different things that he does, but that is no insult to Shaq because wherever it is that Shaq was in his careers as He wasn't three MVPs like he was largely career underachiever before he even got to the MVPs I think Shaq would find it insulting. I mean, okay, that's fine and Shaq told Yolkic to his face told him to his face Yesterday that he thought Shay Gild's Alexander should have been the MVP

and a lot of people had a problem with that. I did not and neither did Jokic who didn't seem to care because he doesn't seem to care about much of anything. Really the announcement that came in that he was MVP when they scanned through the room and you saw the pomp and circumstance of the nuggets, he seemed totally between bored and indifferent wherever that needle is that we were talking about earlier. He gave a little fist pump, a little bit. But I think Shaq played during a time, it was unfortunate for Shaq,

because he was so dominant, and you're right, but he was playing during a time where you had Duncan, you had Garnet, Jordan was still going, like there were a lot of guys to choose from. Oh, but it's not like Duncan and Garnet were dominating the MVP awards, like he was losing them to those guys. Duncan won two, he says.

Alright, so, alright, but Shaq played for like 15 plus years, only one of those years? Could you have said Shaq was the most valuable? That's crazy. You can make the argument, the thing that's different, like, and can't be ignored, okay, and you can do whatever it is you'd like with this information, because it can be argued

that Shaq made Wade and Anthony Hardaway and Kobe what it is that they were because he was such a dominant presence. But winning three MVPs with Jamal Murray as your second best player is vastly different than doing it with Wade, Kobe, and what did you call Hardaway, Tony? Afrini?

Afrini Hardaway, that's right. I didn't have my glasses that day, I think that's what happened. A freenie. But to be honest, Tom Hammershot did a deep dive on Jokic's teammates and he's never had an All-Star, he's never had an all NBA player, like nothing. You're gonna have a hard time, you're going to have a hard time explaining

what all of this was to your grandchildren. When people talk about Josh Hart right now has played more minutes than Wilt Chamberlain and we're not of the time to understand what the hell Wilt was doing, the idea that Jokic would win three MVPs playing that way at that size and that nobody would know that he's any good when they were drafting players just doesn't make any sense. It's like the body shape though right? Like you you think that your center is something and then you see big doughy Jokic and like okay like he can kind of run he's your center is something and then you see big doughy Jokic and like, okay, like he can kind of run, he's got some moves,

whatever, and then they trade Nerkic and it's like, oh wow, this guy's a superstar. No, that's the key, right? Like if Jokic was like super fit, if he looked menacing and super strong. If he could jump. If he could jump. We wouldn't think he was this good, right?

That's what it's about. I do think he's hurt by the absence of muscles, that his thickness is a, it is a bit soft, it's pasty. The thickness, the thickness is a little bit pasty. But the brother looks like Tommy the Cop, like Sam Moreau was saying, like his brother's huge and jacked. Oh no, but no, wait a minute. Look, I think one of the things,

you've heard me say this before of Kawhi Leonard and James Harden, no human being listening to this understands how strong those human beings are. That's a cement mixer covered in skin moving through your lane. And its arms will get scratched, but the same way a cement mixer will get scratched

when Ferrari's gonna get caught under its tires. Because it's idiotic. Like what's moving through the lane without brakes is an ocean liner. And all of these helicopters can swoop all around and they don't bother him because he knows he's an ocean liner. Like they're all shooting bullets

but they're like ricocheting off. No, all of it. All of it. It is fearless, it moves very slowly methodically and it does need Jamal Murray because it looks like it's gonna lose in this round. And it's down two oh, I mean. Bad news for the haters.

I found a list of every joke from Airplane ranked. Oh, hell yeah. Wow, they're great. Really? All right, this is a hell of a- Ranked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue. That's right. This is, hold on.

So what's the, are you gonna do a top five list, a top 10 list? You can't do a top five list, Dan. There's 500 jokes. There's 176. Do a top 10. All You can't do a top five list, Dan. There's 500 jokes. There's 176. All right, but you've got 176. Wow. Do you wanna sort them?

The rare top 176, go for it. Do you want a second to gather yourself or you're just ready to go? Let's see. Number 33. Oh wow. Out of order. Ted says, I had to ask the guy next to me to pinch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming And then the guy pinches him

That's too high To find what I could read 32 27 when Ted recalls crashing while flying in the war he also recalls old timey plane crashes When Ted recalls crashing while flying in the war, he also recalls old timey plane crashes. I'm going to run, Todd. Let's become a meme now. I can see that. Too high.

I wasn't ready to read these. I can give you one off the dome. You announced it. But you said you came to the microphone. And I thought you were going to give me a minute, and then I was going to be like, here's the microphone. I got you. I can go off the dome with this.

I've been trying to scroll to the top for like three minutes. You came to the microphone and said I have this thing. And then when I asked you, show us the thing, and I'm like, I don't have the thing. I finally scrolled to scroll to the top for like three minutes. You came to the microphone and said, I have this thing. And then when I asked you, show us the thing. Number five, I finally scrolled to the bottom. It literally took me four minutes to scroll all the way down on my back. I know, but you announced it. And then Dan said, do you need a minute?

You're absolutely right. And I did. All right, do me this favor. Go sit in the penalty box. Wow. Get the two minutes to gather yourself. Tony, you should act out the part where the female passenger is like freaking out. Oh wait, no, we shouldn't do that one.

That one, no, we shouldn't do that one. Go to the penalty box. Different time. Airplane fans now. Gather your thoughts, organize yourself, and when you come into the room with information you're telling us you have, have that information. I finally have the top five though.

No, not right now. We don't need it anymore. I can give you one off the dome without even looking it up. When he has the two pairs of glasses on, he yanks one of them off and he's got another pair of glasses on. It's great.

Airplane, it can't hold up. It can't, it's just, it's not possible. There's no comedy from the 1970s that's gonna hold up. It can't hold up. You heard the 33rd joke. I mean, it's not gonna hold up. The joke Tony said was 122 on the list, by the way.

I'm telling you that it's not possible for 19, is it 1973 movie for the comedy of that, for the jokes of that, it's just not possible. Dan, what are you talking about when he asked them to take him to the airport and the taxi guy is sitting on The runway and he's like the bills running and then everybody's honking. He's they're like, I don't know the guy's gone He flew took off on a plane's incredible. Are you saying meatballs? Does it hold up juju? Put it on the pole, please at LeBow

show Is meatballs a good movie because it's not Murray and does any move any comedy from the Is Meatballs a good movie? Cause it's not. Oh, so good. Bill Murray. And does any comedy from the 1970s hold up? Does a single comedy? A correction on that, it was 1980. Okay. Now I'm stuck.

Tell me where to watch Stripes and you're not gonna laugh your ass off? Of course you will. Stripes is good, Stripes is good. He doesn't know. Stripes is so good. I don't know, this is my wheelhouse of movies. I loved all of these movies.

I saw Caddyshack recently. I'm like, whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Can't do that today. Pool in the pond, pond would be good for you. Stu Gautz here for my friends over at Simply Safe. When you travel, do concerns back home nag you?

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Don Lebatard. And then that Stafford through him 25 and two. Oh, there's a brand new kid in town Out of BYU Stugats They call him Pooka, Pooka Pooka Nakua, Pooka Nakua His quarterback is not named Tua, yeah He is Pooka, Pooka

Pooka Nakua This is the Dunn Lebatar show With the Stugats Hi Mina Hey, you ever seen airplane in the movie airplane? Yeah a long time ago. Why? Do you think it's funny? I Watched it when I was a child and I thought it was funny, but I don't know if I would find it funny as an adult. It's been a long time. Probably? We were talking before you came on me and it's nice to see you as it always is about whether comedies from the 70s can possibly hold up and whether Airplane, which has more jokes per minute than any movie in the history of movies would be something. Obviously, you have to grade on a curve for the time. Some of this stuff is gonna be permissible there

that would be offensive now, but when, so it's not gonna hold up that way, but just in general, will you stop on any kind of 70s movie and stay there for a while? Because for example, Jaws holds up for me. Yeah. Yeah, I'll watch dramas and action movies from the 70s. I rarely watch old comedies generally, I think.

That's pretty common, right? Sometimes from the 80s maybe, but pretty rarely. Where on your timeline would a movie, because 70s is a long time ago, Airplane was 1980, but where on your timeline would you reference an ancient or fossilized comedy and wonder whether or not it would still hold up today? It's funny, because I think about this right now

that I have a kid, I'm like, what movies from my childhood will I share with him? And I think 90s comedies, ones that I grew up thinking were unbelievably funny, like Chris Farley movies. But how much of that is actual humor versus nostalgia? That illicit feeling of going to the movie theater alone for the first time to see, I don't know, Black Sheep or whatever. I don't know. I don't know. I think it's probably a little bit. It's funny through the lens of me being a child when

I watched it for the first time. But I will say, my husband had never seen like the Adam Sandler movies of our youth, my youth, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, which is very funny because so many of those phrases and jokes from that movie have entered the lexicon. And we watched it as adults for the first time and they're very funny. I know that's not that far back, but it is. I mean, when did Happy Gilmore come out or Billy Madison?

Like mid-90s? Yeah, those are 2000s. Early 2000s, I think. Oh, 90s. Oh, it or Billy Madison? Like mid-90s? Those are 2000s, no? Early 2000s, I think. Oh, 90s. Oh, it was the 90s. It was mid-90s. That's old. That's 30 years. I mean, and I think.

30 is pretty young. Yeah, I think they're still funny. I'll tell you what happens here, because I was very excited to show my kids comedies from my youth, and so I tried Stripes out. What you tend to do is build up the movie, because you loved it so much. And so I did this with my kids, and I tried stripes out what you tend to do is build up the movie because you loved it so much And so I did this with my kids and I tried it out with stripes and Strategy though dad talking something up. Yeah, I talked it up too much. That's the problem

That's what I'm saying plane would you call 48 hours in comedy though? It was I mean wasn't it like tootsie? Tried out tootsie, I tried out, there were so many movies I tried out. What was Robin Williams when he was dressed as the housekeeper? Mrs. Dalfire. Mrs. Dalfire. I tried that one out of my kids. They hated all of them.

All of them. Mrs. Dalfire? Yeah, hated it. You know what movie I'll be devastated if my child doesn't like? Because it's probably my favorite movie of all time, Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. If he doesn't think that's funny.

That's your favorite of all time. What a quirky sense of humor to make that your favorite of all time. I mean, I'm not saying it's not funny. I like it too, but to make it your favorite of all time, you have to have a quirky sense of humor. It's almost obligated. You know what's odd?

Two of the other movies of the last 10, 15 years that I've liked a lot, one is Edge of Tomorrow, which is the Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt action movie that's basically Groundhog Day. And then I really liked, I think it was called Palm Springs, which was a Hulu movie. It was a T-movie. Great movie. Really good, but again,

that's also the Groundhog Day premise. So maybe I just like the idea of people having to relive a single day over and over. My kids never want to watch movies that I recommend that I loved growing up mid nineties because they say it's too old. They don't want to sit down and watch it. And then I remember, oh yeah, that'd be like if when I was their age, my dad wanted me to watch a movie from the early 60s. I never would have wanted to watch that movie. Movies are I feel like movies have gotten way better.

Like, you know, I mean, like, let's say if you go back even further, let's say you had a grandparent who's like, well, watch this movie from the 1940s. And now people who are cinephiles are probably listening to this in absolute horror. They're like, how dare you not love, I don't know, whatever. The Multi-Spelkin. Nosferatu. Nosferatu. When I say better, I mean, there are certainly more,

movies from the 90s and 80s are certainly more palatable to a modern audience than movies from the 40s, 30s, whatever were to people in the 50s and 60s, I think. Can you guys give me some assistance? I always thought that Robin Williams, I thought that Miss Doubtfire was single. I did not know that she was married or widowed. I didn't know she was Mrs.

I didn't know, I didn't remember. I thought she was just single, I didn't know. It's okay, it's okay. No, it's not okay. Look at the disgust on Mina's face because I would dare to think that she's Miss Doubtfire, not Mrs. Doubtfire. She's like horrified as if I said something offensive.

She wants an apology from me. Miss Doubtfire, I'm surprised they haven't remade it as Miss Doubtfire, and maybe like the new generation is she is single, and maybe she has like a robust dating like, maybe she's on the apps, I don't know. She's on Tinder. Put it on the poll please, Juju, at LeBattard Show, Miss Doubtfire or Mrs. Doubtfire.

See how many other people might line up with me and making this mistake So guys if you think you show your daughters the Blues Brothers would they laugh? I know no no 48 hours was probably a stretch Beverly Hills Cop trading places. You should see that reaction. I tried Rambo out. I mean Doesn't mean she's not still on the menu. Jessica, your Mrs. Doubtfire, your limited fake Mrs. Doubtfire was a real revelation. I really enjoyed, yes, thank you for sharing. It's really David Cross as Tobias Fuenke as Mrs. Doubtfire.

But thank you for sharing her or them with us. Mina, I want to get to some football here, but you love your music and Steve Albini passed away. And I would just like to get some of your thoughts there if you would share them with us. Yeah, this really hit my husband hard who I don't talk about this at all, he's a music producer, he's super influential on him, he was devastated to hear this, he had

met him, I think he's going to be writing about him. But for me personally, you know, there's the big albums we all know, obviously Nirvana, the Pixies, the Breeders, but when I saw the news, I just went down a rabbit hole of looking at his discography. And it's really interesting because Albini often wasn't identified as a producer. He's just identified as a mixer, the engineer on some of these albums.

I think he had personal reasons for that. But the list is so insane. It is like that Wilt Chamberlain meme of the numbers. It's crazy how many incredible albums he had a hand in, albums that were influential to me. And their albums, what I loved about looking at these lists and reading these retrospectives, their albums where I didn't realize

there was any connectivity between them. And then when you realize one man was involved in the sound behind them, suddenly you see this through line and you realize why like maybe, oh, maybe I'm not just a fan of McCluskey and Lowe and Super Chunk and the Cloud Nothings. Maybe I'm just a Steve Albini fan because he had a hand in all of these incredible albums. Just an unbelievable sound, unbelievable impact on rock music,

post-punk, indie, and yeah, it's just, all I'll say is just look at the list and I dare anyone to not find one or two albums that they love. The Dan Lipitard Show with Sugats is sponsored by BetterHelp. We all carry around different stressors, big and small. When we keep them bottled up,

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Did someone say conservative entity? Wow! No! See, this is why. Stugats. Yours was better than mine. Oh, see this is why Stugats The fifth segaki better than the third and the fourth segaki already this is the done libertar show with a stugats Me a couple things here on the Brady Rose Did you enjoy it And were you surprised that he opened himself up and did it? Allowed everything except jokes at the expense of Robert Kraft and the massage parlor. I wonder what the Draft King's odds were on Dan not being the first person to ask me about the Brady Rose in Netflix.

Here's 45 more minutes. No, just kidding, Dad. Um, yeah, I was there. Um, I was in the moment, I was like, whoa, they're really going for it, especially with the divorce stuff, the Giselle stuff in particular, going so hard on that.

But when I kind of, and I thought a lot of it was really funny, you know, comedy is subjective, obviously, but I thought Nicky, I thought Kevin Hart was like surprisingly funny. I've never been a big Kevin Hart person. I thought Nicky of it was really funny. You know, comedy is subjective, obviously, but I thought Nikki, I thought Kevin Hart was like surprisingly funny. I've never been a big Kevin Hart person. I thought Nikki Glaser was hilarious. I think that seems to be the universal reaction.

Some of the later comedians I wasn't familiar with, comedians who went later, I thought were pretty funny. But then when we sat back and I thought about it, they really, I don't want to say they pulled their punches, but there's a lot of stuff where I think Brady would have been more vulnerable on that they didn't go to. And instead it was a lot of like, hey guys, he seems gay, right?

Like from, especially from the teammates, which I don't think it hurts him at all to hear that. Like I saw, Niki was talking about one of the jokes she cut was on Brady getting worked on on his face. There was one joke on that. I thought there was going to be a lot more on that, for example. There's just a few topics I was surprised that didn't come up. And it seemed like by the end it's like, okay, we're kind of going to the same well, but it was really funny on the whole. Drew Bledsoe told us that Tom Brady getting up, because I thought that was a really fascinating peak at how power protects power.

Tom Brady telling Jeff Ross, no matter who you think Jeff Ross is, and Jeff Ross has been in a thousand circumstances like this. Jeff Ross was very concerned that he crossed the line. The entire rest of the roast, he was thinking, did I cross the line with Brady? Jeff, well, he obviously did. They made up afterwards.

And Drew Bledsoe and everyone who was involved with it said that was not a scripted moment Tom Brady was caught off mic in as about as honest a moment as you will find around the Patriots where he is protecting only the owner and the shame of the owner on something that was a sex trafficking accusation that the owner managed to make go away with all of his money and power. For Tom Brady, the part that I thought was so clear and revealing about this is where athletes have confidence and where comedians have confidence, different places. A lot of comedians are insecure,

a lot of athletes get to confidence and success and power. For Brady to cut through with, hey, no more of that shit, you saw Jeff Ross, who is expert in that circumstance, bow like, okay, okay, okay. And I just thought that was a real interesting glimpse on how power protects power. Yeah, I don't know how the, that was also in the moment we were like,

whoa, was this planned? And you know, cause it was a little bit off putting. And I think at that point they had already done some pretty, you know, they had really gone after the divorce, for example, which, you know, I think that was obviously Brady knew that was coming. I'm sure it was discussed beforehand in some ways, but Giza wasn't there.

And it made me wonder, Dan, like, if she was there, if he would have done the same thing, you know? I felt like probably he was involved in getting both Bill Belichick, but also Robert Kraft to come. In the moment, I thought, oh, maybe he feels like, well, I told Robert Kraft to come to this, and now this favor that I pulled in, you're attacking him. And I feel bad because I called in a favor to bring him in. I don't know. It's weird. I mean, the weirdest thing in professional sports is that they call owners mister,

and nobody else gets called mister, which feels like sort of a microcosm, or I have to pry to me, it sort of reflects what we saw there. You understand why both Giselle and Aaron Hernandez's family would be upset by some of the fodder that became jokes. Did Hernandez's family come out and say stuff? Yeah, very upset.

Yeah. The Gisele thing, I mean, it's... They didn't attack her. They sort of... The thrust of all the jokes was, Ha ha, Tom Brady, you've been cucked, right? I don't want to say she doesn't have a right to be annoyed by having her name in the news and having,

I guess being a part of event that she didn't like agreed to be a part of. I don't know, I assume that her and Brady talked about it beforehand, but I don't feel like she was like attacked by it personally. Give us your thoughts here. Chris Russo came on with us and we've been making fun today of the fact that he had

some trouble with jujitsu as a word and I just want to get your analysis as we play this for you what was happening with Chris Russo and a theory that Jessica has that I believe to be the most accurate one on what happened right here. How did he lose his beautiful wife to a jiu-jitsu instructor? I mean that's the whole theme of the night. That she's going out the jitsu instructor. Did he say jizzu? That's what he said initially. To a jizzu construct- I love his producer so- like so confused. Jiu-jitsu? Jiu-jitsu? Jizzu, Jizu sounds like a porn that we shouldn't be talking about. She's going out with a Jitsu instructor. Play the whole thing again,

because maybe you'll get a better clue here at the end on what Jessica's theory is that I believe is accurate. How did he lose his beautiful wife to a Jizu construct, to a, how do you pronounce it? Jiu-jitsu? Jiu-jitsu instructor. I mean, that's the whole theme of the night, that she's going out with a jitsu instructor.

Jitsu at the end. What's your theory, Jessica? My theory was that he perhaps was confused and thought that his producer was saying it was a Jew jitsu instructor. A Jewish person who was partaking in jitsu. Okay, as opposed to someone who works at a zoo. Or a kazoo or anything related to a kazoo.

To a jizoo construct. That's where I ended up at the beginning. Does he think that it's somebody beaten to death by a kazoo? She's going out the jitsu instructor. Because then at the end he just says the jitsu instructor. She's going out the jitsu instructor. Like he's just afraid to say because he doesn't know how the first word well there are jitsu instructors then there are Jew Jitsu

But you just do you'd be a Jew jitsu instructor You'd be a ju-jitsu instructor. I'd be a ju-jitsu instructor. Right, but you'd also be a ju-jitsu. According to him, just ju-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu is what happens when Stigatz interviews Ron McGill. Let's play the music here for, let me see here. I'm going to play the football music for Mina so that we can speed her up and we can get maximum football information from her

Let's start with Bryce Young. I Said and a lot of people have made fun of me for this I'm like they fast forwarded the timetable so much These guys aren't gonna get time if you need value at that position to prove itself quickly. I've seen enough to know that we're not going to allow that to mature to become the player that it might be. I think that we can make the evaluation now that that's not going to be special. Faster, Dan. Why am I wrong?

Well, you're saying you're done with young. It's over. I'm not done with young, yeah well not all young people just this young person. Yeah, I think you get two years now. Right. Something that's like quiet quietly slept on a little bit is the Steelers. How quickly that they moved on. They moved on from Kenny Pickett. He was first round draft pick and he wasn't poor. He wasn't good.

But I do think it's a new NFL where that regime was just like perfectly like ready to rip the band-aid and move on and keep going, which I think is probably the right decision, honestly. But certainly something that didn't happen years past, Josh Rosen was kind of the exception, right? With when they moved on from him in Arizona to draft Kyler Murray.

But that was also because they had that draft pick. Steelers didn't have top draft pick and they still said, now we're good. We've seen enough of Kenny Pickett. I think where it gets tricky is a situation like Carolina, where the circumstances were so awful, it is hard to sort of, you know, bifurcate Bryce Young's performance from how awful his receivers were the sort of shit show around him. They did everything possible to reinvest or to pardon me invest in the offense, spent a ton of money on

the interior of the offensive line, you go out you add a bunch of receivers, but it feels like after this year, if it doesn't happen, it's not happening. And that I think is pretty unusual. Or it's new rather. Mina, did you hear what Austin Rivers was talking about? Football players playing basketball, basketball players playing football. What's your take on that?

No, I didn't. That's a thing that people talked about in sports media. It's May. You know how it is. It's May. It's a busy sports time. It shouldn't dominate the landscape. It's plenty busy now. We don't have to have sports radio discussion.

But it's football football from 30 years ago WFAT data and yet here we are Okay, I don't know if this is a but the hot take on it I haven't really seen all of the reaction so I don't know if this is the common view But my feeling is that neither would have success in either league, right? It's certainly not 30 players. Obviously he's talking about like current players switching leagues, I guess,

having time to train and whatever. I think there's just too much skill and specialization required. Like the case for the basketball players, who I think do have a better shot just because of the numbers, there's three times as many, of course, active players, and you do have more specialized roles. But I think when we think about a basketball player

playing in the NFL, we think about like a tight end, like LeBron James, Zion, whatever, switching to tight end and then just like posting up in the end zone and being a red zone target. Okay, fine, but that doesn't happen. In fact, tight end is a position that's so difficult to master in the league

because of all that is required of it and the nuances of blocking and all of that, that rookies rarely come in and make an impact. If rookies who have been playing this their entire lives, can't do it, what makes us think, you know, like 38 year old LeBron James could do it? I don't think either would succeed. Well, me and Stu Gotts have cooked up a list

of a team that we know will beat not only the Washington Wizards, but also the Charlotte Hornets. One through five, are you ready? I'm ready. At our point guard, Tyreek Hill. Tyreek Hill, Tyreek Hill. Hooper.

Just because he's fast? No, he's got an incredible three point shot. Yep. Bully down low. Does he? Yeah, he does. Scored 61 points at a courtside game once. We did some research, yes.

He's five 10. He's really small. That's fine, Tano. Problem with that? Two guard, CJ Stroud. Is there a 5'10 player in the league right now? A single 5'10 player in the league. How tall is he?

Team is looking up for him. CJ Stroud had 40 points on Jaime Hockes Jr. in high school. How about that? Yep. How about that? At small forward, DK Metcalf. Oh, DK. He's been playing celebrity basketball games.

He always plays in like the Ruffles Pringles Fritos game every year, I feel like, and does pretty well. All right, at the four, Max Crosby. Have you seen him play basketball? Why? He's incredible. He's like a power, like he's incredible. I want you, after we're done here, go Google Max Crosby basketball. He's slamming on dudes at the park. He looks amazing. He's like a power, like he's incredible. I want you after we're done here, go Google, Max Crosby basketball.

He's slamming on dudes at the park. He looks amazing. Real Hoopers now. Thank you. Real Hoopers. And at center, Miles Garrett. Oh wow. Of course.

Of course. Okay, so basically you just chose like the strongest three guys for three, four, five. We have a guy off the bench, Hoopa Nakua. Does he, does he hoop? Kooka Hoops? Pooka Nakua is amazing. No, he wanted to just make a Hoopa Nakua Does he does you Nakua he wanted to just make a Hoopa Nakua This is crazy yeah, we got David Bocciari up the bench there your center's six four Miles Garrett is come on

You're gonna get some offensive rebound problems with Tyreek Hill and your 6-4 center Dan please watch the screen right now watch Max Crosby. They're getting their ass playing. He's playing against me Okay, all right Tony being in the NBA is hard. I know these guys are great athletes. Let me ask about beating the hornets Let me ask you this question I mean because multiple NFL teams have reached out to olympic gold medalist gable steveson uh... after he was uh... released by the ww he's twenty three six one two hundred sixty five pounds

he went sixty seven into in collegiate wrestling uh... these are different skill sets uh... yes obviously strong that doesn't make him a football player but football players are reaching out so the evaluation of someone like this is it practical to think that a professional wrestler can be someone who's good at football Yeah, it's practical to think that the NFL has so many players and and you know when I say like there's 1600 I think is if you do 32 times 53. Yeah, there's that but then there's's twice that. There's all these guys that they just bring in to see, is this somebody that we can work with? For example, there's the International Pathways program. You always hear about the NFL, like,

oh, we found this guy in Germany and he played soccer or rugby or whatever, hockey. Let's see if we can make something out of him. He's multiple clay, but it takes years, years. I mean, you know, like for all these guys, and often when they do bring in players from other sports, we hear about them coming in and working out, and then nothing happens.

You never see them on the field. It's so rare that you see one of these multi-sport athletes actually become something in the NFL. Zazzle, do you think that a sumo wrestler would make a good NHL goaltender? Oh my God, He pretty good. Isn't that the plot of Mighty Ducks? Like just taking the biggest guy and-

Goldberg. By the way, Nate Ebner would like a word. You tell him, Toad. Lamar Jackson playing at 205 pounds. What do we think of that? So I was surprised to hear that. And that's something that's been on my mind because we talked about it with Jaden Daniels

in the direct pre-draft process. Is he too small? Because he's very slight and I think probably weighs about that. I think he came in a little bit above that probably at flutterweight at the combine or his pro day or whatever. But that is skinny and there's not that many NFL quarterbacks who are that slim who have had success in the league. That said, Lamar Jackson's superpower, he has quite a few, but the one that I think of all the time, isn't just his, it's not his straight line speed, it's the fact that he has this like pre-natural ability to avoid hits. How many times you watch him in the pocket and he's like weirdly kind of

froggering his way through traffic And it feels like nobody can ever really square him up or get a hit on him. Jaden Daniels is not like that. That dude takes hits. So I actually think it's probably not a big deal if it's a weight that he's comfortable with. Lamar Jackson, our backup two guard, by the way, that's exactly why you said is he gets in the lane,

Euro stepping by people, great finish off the glass. Off the bench. Again, you guys underestimate how good NBA players are. I'm gonna underestimate how good Lamar is. OBJ to the Dolphins, your thoughts there? That seems useful. That's a great take, Dan. That seems useful.

I feel like you just TLDR'd like a week of football contact. That seems useful is really all that needs to be said. You guys know with the Dolphins, it's kind of felt like, okay, who is the third option, right? If you're facing these defenses that are, I don't know, playing these too high coverages or they're bracketing Tyreek Hill and there's a safety hub out Jaylen Waddle,

somebody's open, but it has felt like there hasn't been that third option who is a reliable target for them who works that short to intermediate part of the field and gets yards after the catch and I do think OBJ while he's obviously not 2014 OBJ he can do that he can still take a slant for 20 yards if given space he is a reliable third down target he has good hands he had very low drop rate in Baltimore. So I don't think it's, you know, this massive, massive impactful change or addition, rather,

but I do think he is a useful player. I've remained puzzled while the Dolphins didn't do more to address the offensive line, but I'm a broken record on that year after year after year. But I do like that signing. Number one, the scene where the little kid tells Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who's the pilot, he's like, hey, aren't you Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? And then he's like- I'm Roger Murdoch.

I'm Roger Murdoch. And then he's like, my dad says that you don't play very hard and you don't run fast enough and you're a bad player. You only show up in the playoffs. And he said, kid, yanks a man real close. He says, kid, tell your old man to try carrying Lanier and Walton up the court every night. That's so good. Lanier. Never played, am I right, guys? He also, by the way, is such a, this is what I do remember, Tell your old man to try carrying linear and Walton up the court every night

Is such a this is what I do remember is such a good athlete at is he like one of the top five That's that's the list that I'm gonna do that's a fun one shacks up there for sure Mina we have less than 30 seconds here. Do the Bears have the best wide receiver core in the NFL? No, I don't think they have the best wide receiver core. I still think there's some one, two punches that are ahead of them. Miami, Cincinnati, since Higgins is coming back. And then of course the Dune's Day is a rookie, but they're top five.

Faster, faster, faster. You know what's funny? You're doing this. Can I tell you, can I let you in on something? Actually haven't told you this for weeks. You've been playing the music, I don't hear it. For whatever reason, the audio isn't going through. So you've been doing this all like, ah.

It's actually not, it hasn't been coming into my ears for weeks and I just haven't told you. You're saying that and I don't, oh, now I can hear it. Yeah, okay, damn, I shouldn't have told you. Stoogout's here for my friends over at Simply Safe. When you travel, do concerns back home nag you? Did you lock up? Did you leave a window open?

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