The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Tipping The Scales

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

An hour full of some questions: In the distant future, would you have sex with a fish? Is that how mermaids are made? Would you ever lay with a ray? If being gay is so bad, how come it wasn't in the top 10 sins? How did we populate the earth? Do you pee yourself on a bike? How does a T. rex pleasure itself? What if we're the human consciousness projection? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is the Don LeBattor Show with the Stoogats Podcast. Alright guys, Mike McDaniel spoke today. I thought that he said something that was pretty poignant in these very difficult times. This is how he started off the presser today. Good morning. False. Great morning. Let's go.

Why great? Hmm? What makes us great? Because we're another day closer to death. What? Greg, there you go. Just want to leave that off on your lap there. Great morning because we're closer to death.

You know what? That's your coach. I can't deny the truth of that. I mean, it's a point of view. It's not a point of view. We are all a day closer to dying. But that doesn't make it a great morning. I don't believe the morning should be based on whether or not you're closer to death.

You can't base your mood on something that's a certainty. You would think he would base his mood in the context of his football team's preparation for the season, in which case saying you're a day closer to death would be seen perhaps as a negative, as a dark cloud. That's only if you don't know what's on the other side. Maybe Mike has more info. But then you could get yourself there faster. Nah, then you don't go to that place.

Oh, excuse me. What if it's not the whole point, yeah? What if it's nothing? Then it's nothing. Then you're not gonna be around to complain about it. That's what scares the crap out of me. Really? The permanent nothingness.

You will never get confirmation on that, because you will never have it conscious to tell you, ah, shit, it's nothing. Well, if we knew it was nothing, do we just turn into a hedonistic society that's like saying that if you knew the world was ending tomorrow would you not do your homework i wouldn't i wouldn't yeah no screw my homework i don't i don't when you think there's oh you didn't have this growing up in the northeast we had the snow day thing that if you thought a snow day was coming you could not do your homework and then you wake up, you look out and it's the opposite of Ground Dog Day. There's

no snow on the ground and you're totally screwed and you have to do it on the bus. What do you think about human consciousness and if it could be essentially downloaded and you could live forever? I would do it. I'd like to freeze myself. You should so you can see the time capsule. Like Ted Williams. Or Walt Disney. Would you like to have time capsule. Like Tate Williams? Or Walt Disney. Would you like to have your head still attached to your body? Yes, the reason I'm not going to get cremated.

A, as a Jewish person you don't get cremated, but B- Ruling class. To me that rules. Are you getting cremated? I don't know. I think I'd like to try that my human consciousness gets downloaded into like a- Black mirror. Like a black mirror.

Yeah, I think I'd like to try that out. Yeah, how do you download human consciousness? Good question. How many gigs is that? I mean, we're already. Depends on the person. Putting chips in your brains. There's some people like a Kardashian,

like it takes up like one little tiny thing. I think this is a thing that will happen. Maybe not your lifetime, but perhaps my generation. But if he's frozen, it will happen in his lifetime. No, he's got to, I guess it can thaw him out so they can download his consciousness. Well, no, you only get thawed when you can live again. That's the whole purpose of being frozen.

Right. I'm not being unfrozen like to then die again. I'm being unfrozen so there's no dying. When are you going to freeze yourself? Like, are you going to freeze yourself soon? So like when you come back to life, you're still, like you have years left? Because if you wait till you're like 80 to freeze yourself,

what are you doing then? Okay, so then, like, are you gonna, I'm not super familiar with the freezing process, but would you, in a sense, end your own life to be unfrozen later on at a younger age? Or would that be your 80th birthday party? Right, you're saying you don't wanna be 80, but John Spartan.

I don't wanna be frozen 80, no I don't want to be frozen 80. No, I want to live to be 120. John Spartan in Demolition Man froze himself, but was referred to as Caveman because he was older. Wait, if you freeze yourself at 65 and then you unfreeze yourself 100 years from now, are you 165 or are you 66? Ooh, great question.

Follow up to that. How would you date? Would you date within someone in your age range for how you look? Well, I did somebody Appropriate like if in a hundred years are having sex with fish would you like you have sex? Yeah, you like you're like a 65 year old you're like whoa I would never Fish but like in 165 it's normal. So you're like now I need to try new things answer his question first about having sex with fish Yeah, would you don't want to answer that question which5 it's normal, so you're like, now I need to try new things. Answer his question first about having sex with fish. Yeah, would you?

I don't want to answer that question. Which fish? Because it's inappropriate. How old is the fish? Not in 165 years. Barracuda? Is it an 80-year-old fish? In the blowhole?

It would be a swordfish. Would you identify as a 50-year-old, even though you're 80? Would you all of a sudden be attracted to 80-year-olds? What's wrong with these people? Would you be frozen live on nothing personal, just for the download? Wow.

Wow. The clicks. Now we're talking. There you go. Would you be frozen live on nothing personal just for the download? Wow! Wow! The clicks! Now we're talking. There you go. I believe the whole frozen thing if it works right. You can be frozen when you're 80 because it doesn't matter. By the time you unfreeze there'll be the de-aging process and you can get back to being 45.

Have you talked to anybody about this? Have you made serious inquiries? Right to the rabbi. What did he say? What did he say? You can't do it. Yeah, there's all the human consciousness and the cryogenic freezing.

It does kind of really challenge theologies. Next time you talk to the rabbi, you're going to ask about the fish or no? No, I meet the rabbi often. Like, before I got my first tattoo, I met the rabbi. Before, when I wanted to think about the whole frozen thing, cremation, where am I going to do? Rabbi. You got to talk to the rabbi. when I wanted to think about the whole frozen thing to cremation Where am I gonna do rabbi you gotta talk to the rabbi because double-check

It's a it's a it's straight belt and suspenders because generally I'm gonna do what I want to do anyway But you'd like to have a check with the big guy the rapper I was raised the type of Christian that cremation was kind of looked down upon Like Jews that don't cremate. At a certain point we're resurrected and I'd like to have my body for that. The odds are it's just your spirit, your soul, but I think the odds are horse hockey. So is that what they put when they download

your consciousness, your spirit and your soul? I never heard of this till today. Spirit and soul is the same thing? All right, get me a cryogenic expert and someone that can talk about downloading my human consciousness so I can live forever. How about spirit or soul? These are questions that I have for them.

What if you already were recardinated into David Sampson's body but you haven't reached that point in your life yet where you've got into the, you know, the process of that. Like, you don't know that this already exists because you haven't learned that yet in this version of David Sampson. Chances are that I have a lot of learning left to do

in my time and I will keep learning until I can't learn anymore. I just learned the belt and suspenders thing. I didn't realize that was a saying and I was like, wait a second, that's unnecessary. You don't need both, but now I get it. It's sort of being overly cautious. I'm not a business guy, David.

I don't know if you knew that. Belt and suspenders is not a business. That's a Google thing. That kind of thing. You never heard of belt and suspenders, Greg? Uh, I have. I have heard of having a terrible day. No, I have heard that.

Howard Snellenberger was always a belt and suspenders guy. Google AI says belt and suspenders. That's not what the expression is for. What is it for? It's that you don't need to do something because it's belt and suspenders, meaning it's a- Superfluous.

Let me read it for you, Greg. It says, in business, that's why I said in business, the phrase belt and suspenders signifies a conservative and cautious approach that involves implementing redundant layers of protection or safety measures to minimize risks. So I don't have as belt and suspenders the fact that the pilot and the co-pilot

have the same buttons in the same screen. I have that as a duplication that's necessary. To me belt and suspenders is not necessary. Right, that's pretty much what I read, just being overly cautious. But so it's, yes, like planes, not overly cautious. Right. When being frozen, like having two people there to make sure that you're frozen properly, not overly cautious. When being frozen, like having two people there

to make sure that you're frozen properly, not overly cautious. This is all a fine distraction, but are you f***ing this fish or not? I don't, that's what I'm wondering. Mike, why are you creating extra work for people? But like if there are only fish people, and you're reintroducing society, and it's become socially acceptable to bang a fish person in a hundred years

And do you bang that fish and is that how mermaids are made? That is a great I thought that there was a whole thing with a dog the way you get is a dog It was the we're not we're not back banging dog people just stage name. Dolly. Do you see dogfish is a beer? No, I'm sure that there's a thing where you combine two animals Not banging dogs. Pipple is just a stage name. Dolly. Dogfish is a beer. No, I'm telling you that there's a thing where you combine two animals, they make a third animal. The Island of Dr. Moreau? No, it's not a book, it's an actual thing of breeding.

Are you talking about inter-ligers? Are you talking about ligers? Humans? Not humans, what are the two animals that after they do it, a third animal comes out? Almost every animal. A horse and a donkey can mate. And what do they make? What are the two animals that after they do it, a third animal comes out? Ligers? Almost every animal. A horse and a donkey can mate.

And what do they make? Mule? I forget the name of it, but it's a hunkie. Mule. We're gonna get, we need to find this out. And I'm not gonna, I don't wanna do dance or whatever. What are we talking about? Is that what happened with the platypus?

I'm just saying that I would never do a fish. But 100 years from now, when it's kind of what's going on. Acceptable? yeah, not that it's not acceptable now I mean if you want to you know, how about Darryl Hannah? Go ahead live on the air. What about Darryl Hannah? That's some kind of that Darryl Hannah Kyle Stowers when I know player of the month he should have that was Darryl who is that on the phone? You had Siri called Darryl Hannah about the fish. I like Darryl Hannah. I've always liked Darryl Hannah.

Do people even get that reference? I mean, Splash is an old movie. Oh no, did I do it? Day one, four hours in? It's a gender neutral name, Darryl Hannah. Also, if she were her character in Splash, species neutral too. I'm sure you would have no problem

if you got a couple beers in you saying She's neutral too. I'm sure you would have no problem if, you know, got a couple beers in you saying that, yeah, you'd kick the tires on Darryl Hannah as a mermaid. Yeah, you'd do a mermaid for sure. I'd do more than kick the tires. I was in love with Darryl Hannah. As a mermaid? Yes.

So you would do that fish. When she was in the tank. Brother, you would do that fish. 100%, look at that. He just admitted it basically. Oh, let's not misunderstand. I would marry a mermaid. If it meant that I could live underwater

and that when they were above water, there were legs and below water, they could swim and you could make love to both a fish and a human, we wouldn't sign up for that. All right, let's push this out a little bit more. Thank you, Mike. Top part, human.

Bottom part, fishy. Where are you putting it? It's scales. What about an elegant shark? I'm Jewish, I can make it work between scales. How would the rabbi feel about that? That's a good question. Yeah, what does the big guy say?

Scales, kosher. Can you run this by? I said scales, let's make sure we're on the same page. Run this by your rabbi? Yeah. It is. It's a your rabbi? Yeah. It is scales and kosher. I didn't say that I would do an octopus

or a shrimp or a crab. I'm talking about a scaled fish, not a bottom feeder. Darrell Hanna was not a bottom feeder. You're not gonna stop. What's wrong with a lobster? Being a bit fiscous here. You can't do a bottom feeder. Not kosher.

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Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co.slash audio. The libertard. Oh, I like firing people. So I take the opportunity to fire whenever I possibly can because I can use it as a learning experience for them and try to help them out

and try to point out what they did wrong. But in this case, the employee was enough levels below where I was that I did not do the firing, but I had it done within moments of discovery. I'm just like firing people. It's just absurd. It's absurd. Stugats.

I'm talking about people who I fire who deserve it, who have done something that actively requires me to fire them. It is my unadulterated pleasure to do so. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the StuGats. I don't like fish being called dirty to be perfectly honest with you. Have you ever seen a dirty fish tank? No. Have you ever seen the fish that you win at a carnival by throwing a ping-pong ball in their little glass home?

If you throw it in, you get to keep the fish Don't ever seen that I could see you with a koi. I used to have fish tanks Yeah, I build a ballpark with fish tanks that you got rid of ever night at the office Go to fish climb on in there. Yeah and say hey Hundreds from now. This is gonna be there was our whole fish tank room in Marlins Park right outside the visitors clubhouse. There was a huge room that had all the guts. We built it, it controlled the fish tanks

behind the home plate and also the fish tanks in my office. Cause when you're building from scratch you can do whatever you want. So I built a huge fish tank in what became Jeter's office but started as my office. And there were people who would come clean the fish. And there was a guy from a company who would come clean the fish, they were great.

But he liked coming around like trade time. Like when we were doing trade calls and stuff. He liked, he pretended he was just like cleaning out the fish, but we knew better. So we would potentially do some funny stuff when the fish cleaning guy would be in the office by talking about trades that we were not gonna do. Just to, cause we could sort of, we'd look at his face,

we'd be like, hey, we may trade Stan for Manny Ramirez. Any of those make it out to the media? And the fish guy, no, no. He had no- That's how you know he's solid though. Yeah. No connection to the media, but I bet he spoke to his other fish tank people. I can't believe they were this close to acquiring Barry Bonds.

We absolutely did it with baseball people and that did make it to the media. That's how you find your leaks. But we knew the fish guy wasn't a leak, but we knew that he loved being in on it, so we wanted to make it worth his while because he was a fish tank guy and he had a schlep all the way to Marlins Park to do the fish every week. So we tried to make it exciting for him, which I think is a noble pursuit. No, it was fun.

Forget the dystopian future and what you're incentivized to mate with a fish. I like the trade-down lines coming, you're wasting time making up lies to trick the aquarium guy. How do you feel about human and animal splicing? Gene splicing. Took 10 seconds, Billy.

Like making a cat person. How do you feel about that? Ooh, not through plastic surgery though, right? No,. It took 10 seconds, Billy. Like making a cat person. How do you feel about that? Ooh. Not through plastic surgery though, right? No, no, no, no, no. We're splicing genes. We're in a lab, and we can say it's all in the name of cancer research, but really,

we're just trying to make a cat person. Welcome to Jurassic Park. No, those are dinosaurs, it's different species. No, they have froggy DNA. Oh, that's how they change their own sex. Life finds a way. Life finds a way. How about a ray? Would you ever lay with a ray? Isn't that the one that killed the guy who likes animals? Yeah, crocodile hunter. What's the name of the uh? Steve Irwin got killed by a I think he got killed by a ray. Yeah

I don't want to lay in the heart. Wait, were you pro or anti-human animal genes placing? Totally pro. You're pro at it. You want cat people around. If it can- Could you ask the rabbi? I will ask the rabbi, but if it can help like your disease

or if it can help advance us in any way, how would you not be pro- Every movie says it usually goes sideways. They become the lizard. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not talking about plastic surgery. I'm not talking about the lizard. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not I'm not so much plastic surgery I'm talking about the lizard who would start in a lab and then go through the sewers of New York City, right? half dog half man

What is it half and half tour? That's horse lion that person. That's horse half man half horse, right? I was wondering if it was half and half though Greg or should it just be certain qualities of a cat like if you have humans maybe they have whiskers and a tail but they're super quick right like ridiculous ass and hate aluminum foil. Like if I had the hind legs of a horse I could be a race horse but a human from the waist up like what would be the rule? That's a centaur yeah that's a centaur. Not to be confused with centaur. Waist down horse, I like it. Not to be confused with a minotaur, which I think is like bull and horse?

Bull and man. Is it bull and man? Bull and man. But would I be allowed to enter a horse race? That's a good question. I'm glad you added race. Do you have the front arms of a human? Uh, I think I do.

So you'd be running upright? Yeah, I would be running upright. Wow. You guys are making fun, but we're talking about evolution. Same. Why is it that you think that this is not possible? Do you know where we came from,

assuming you're not the Adam and Eve people? Right. In theory, we evolved. You're the one that doesn't want to have sex with a fish here. Like we're trying to evolve the race. I would have sex with a fish. Step up, David.

You guys believe in Adam and Eve. I know that about the Old Testament I didn't but I I actually believe in evolution You're gonna freeze yourself even though the rabbi told you not to I don't I I do go for mostly confirmation How about the ark Noah's ark? Or not buying it. I mean, your theology is based off of this good book. Yeah, so I didn't say that me as Jewish people, but we all, all the Goiam and the Jews have the same testament, just you believe in old and new, and we just believe in old. Do you run questions by your rabbi? Do you run questions around, like, from the scripture? Like, why did God decide to do this whether it be you know

Was it Isaac with the Sun you know or like Abraham? Abraham and Isaac or like hey Adam and Eve. How does this work without? incest and Why would you put two roaches on the ark like just leave the road they snuck in they snuck in they always Being gay is so bad. How come it wasn't in the top ten sins. It's probably Adam goes to the cousins Hold on just for the people listening and if you're not watching this on YouTube Although I don't know whether we're live or not, but on the network We just had a very bad situation

with the video room and the producers. What happened? Not happy with this conversation? Is there some sort of legal issue I'm missing about making love to fishes that I missed? No, we've thrown out the setting. Like, it's not like, do this right now. It's in a hundred years.

It's a dystopian future, which there are only fish people and a couple cryogenically frozen fields. I think we're clear. I think we're good. Oh we are. I've been. But we're getting a lot of weird talk from inside the other room. Oh in your ear. Yeah so I mean are we okay? Yeah. Is that did the show is it did it get ground to a halt because of. How did we populate the earth? I believe that it started with seedlings. No, no, no. What kind of seedlings? All right, so Adam and Eve happened,

but as you know, the flood brought about the great reset. So again, question remains, like how did we repopulate? Probably some incest. Yeah. It would seem hard to imagine otherwise because you get two to four to eight to 16. Right, but I imagine at that point... There were pockets of people. That's how different languages happen.

The implication is that he's alright with it given that he decided to destroy the earth with water. Who? God. God. Why are you assuming God's a he? That's a great point. What does the rabbi say? What does the rabbi say about that?

What does the rabbi say about that? Yeah. What are God's pronouns? It used to be that the conservative rabbis, it was a he. Then things got a little more progressive and it became, there could be a she, and then it just became a they. That makes much more sense. What's your guy? What's my god?

No, your guy. Is he more progressive, is he more conservative? My rabbi is a him. It's he's a he-him. Thank you for asking. No, not the rabbi. What does he think? What does the rabbi is a him. It's he's a he-him. Thank you for asking. No, not the rabbi. What does he think? Yeah, what does the rabbi think? Of having sex with fish, I've never asked him. Please put that on the list. As far as that hasn't come up. Can you FaceTime him?

Prioritize this. Is it Shabbat? I don't know what date it is. Friday is Monday. You tell us. I don't know what that means. Shabbat is Friday night to Saturday night. So it's not.

If you say so. So it's Monday. Well, I'm not telling you. It's kind of like my sign. I just don't pay attention to it. There are female rabbis now, right? There are yeah, they're didn't used to be yeah I like that. Don't you there's also gay rabbis. How about that? Did you know I like that don't you?

It's evasive. Yeah, why do you feel about that? I think it's normal Okay, all right fine. I'm pretty sure I got an answer on the fish. So what so I did it's Darrell Hannah Mm-hmm. No provided their scales, I said. Oh, scales. Don't misquote me. And you go to a fish rabbi in the future? I just said I'd require scales, and you totally blew past that. Totally blew. Oh, we get it. I think he was trying to say he has a little wiener.

Jewish. You know, seahorses, they can impregnate themselves. Really? I'd never leave the house. You would constantly impregnate yourself if you were a seahorse? If I could. If I could. Right.

So listen, I have proof that I can procreate. But if I could do it to myself, then I would. Yeah, but then you also carry the seedlings. Yeah, you have so many kids. And then you got to go through that. By experience, that's tough. I don't want to be pregnant. You'd look funny as a pregnant man.

You would. There was a pregnant man. Yeah? Yeah, when I was young. I don't want to be pregnant. You'd look funny as a pregnant man. You would. There was a pregnant man. Yeah? Yeah, when I was young. Or in my 20s. Are you sure that wasn't just an episode of the Bill Cosby show? I have to make a correction. Seahorses cannot impregnate themselves.

But the males fertilize the eggs and internally carry them in their pouch. But they still need somebody. Yeah, there needs to be two seahorses, male and female, but the male can take the seed and store it and basically incubate the baby. Male carries the babies, but a female partner needs to start the process.

Is there any species, Mike, where they can impregnate themselves? I'm on this. Let me ask our future overlords. It's like some sort of algae, or something very small. When you were a- It's gonna multiply itself.

When you were at Marlins Park this week, did you ever sneak away and just start walking through the bowels of the stadium? It's like, oh, I left something here. Let me go see if I could find this thing or just disappear for a little bit. I tried to go into the old archive room. Did you and what happened?

I wasn't allowed, I couldn't get there. Why not? You think there was extra eyes on you? No, I just didn't have a pass. There was security and they wouldn't let me through it's in the admin offices I wanted to go see my office I wanted to go see all sorts of things at Marlins Park, but I was I was a Basically a visitor in my own home only one vertebrae can impregnate itself and you're in luck. It's a fish Wow, the mangrove kill fish in vertebrae isates that can do this are flatworms, tapeworms,

snails, and roundworms, certain types. Roundworms? Yep. Because there were, this is obviously in my head, a worm can circle around itself and touch one part of the body to another. There are some some birds and reptiles that can impregnate themselves. Book club on Monday. Gym on Tuesday. Book club on Monday. Gym on Tuesday. Date night on Wednesday. Out on the town on Thursday. Quiet night in on Friday.

It's good to have a routine and it's good for your eyes too because with regular comprehensive eye exams at Specsavers, you'll know just how healthy they are. Visit Specsavers.ca to book your next eye exam. Eye exams provided by independent optometrists. Don Lebatard. What do I got here? I got a magnum condom. Um, we won't get that out. That's shocking. Stugats. Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old. Right next to the condom! That's a subtle reminder.

Never forget. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats! You know Fergie once peed herself 25 years ago at a live performance. All-Star Game? No, it was at like a music festival. It was at Qualcomm Stadium. If you check out the setlist.fm of their performance at Qualcomm, Black Eyed Peas show up an hour late.

Fergie pees herself in the middle of... What does that have to do with anything? It's a transition. You have to learn how to pee yourself. I've done that many times. I can get photos of her peeing herself. We'll get it. Why would the rest of the band have been a half hour late?

It was the container. Peeing yourself is very hard if you've ever tried it. When's the last time you peed yourself? In 2000, I was on a bike. I only pee myself on bikes. I just learned something at a pool party I was at recently. My shy bladder extends to the pool. I cannot pee in a pool if there's other people in it.

Really? You have to be solo in the pool when you're alone? I've never actually done it solo, I just assume. Oh, we get it, you're better than everyone. I love peeing in a pool. You do not. Love it. You have to love it.

Love it. Yeah. That's disgusting. I'm worse than everyone, Billy. I physically can't do it. You have to let your abdomen go. You have such a good. Yeah, yeah, I'm worse than everyone Billy. I physically can't do it You have to let your abdomen go your you're you have to such a good body that you have no way to get soft You have to get soft. Hey, yo, that's crazy. Well, it's the best way you have to release your that's you have to train for it So let me get this straight David. Yeah, you've never urinated during a marathon

In my pants. Yeah. No. You can hold it for four hours? I pull over. And waste time? You get a worse time? What am I getting paid? Yeah, you get a worse time on your marathon? I'm getting paid.

Where's your pride, man? I'm not a professional. Okay, you should be. I don't go into the port-a-potties. It's the unspoken grossness of marathons, Greg, is there are just lines of pee everywhere, and occasionally some guys will just not go in the porta potty and just squat and poop somewhere.

It's gross. It's also the implication around your standard Vegas pool party. Look, there's never a line for the bathroom. That's why the chlorine clears out. That's where you do coke. Also, the pee is heavy. It falls to the ground.

Right. Plus, when I wash my hair in the pool, the suds help chlorinate and cleanse the ground. Yeah, that's fine. Plus when I wash my hair in the pool, the suds help chlorinate and cleanse as well. That's right, you do do that. You do wash your hair in the pool. At a pool party? Yeah, wherever. So you'd freeze yourself.

If I'm washing my hair in the pool, it is a party. I wouldn't go in a Vegas pool party. No? Only in a private sort of pool in a cabana. Because of all the other people peeing in that pool? All the other people. But that's what the chlorine's for, man. I could have, you and I could be locked eyes

having a conversation, I'd be peeing, you wouldn't know it. I've gotten really good at this. That's a house rule. When a kid came to the house, one of the things was, do not pee in the pool. How would you know? Yeah, how would you know? It's the honor system.

Nah, screw that. You would always say that little lie, that 90s lie, like, oh, this pool has the dye that turns it purple if you pee in it. And I was like, all right, let's test that. Never happened to me once. Mike, please don't ever look me in the face

if you're peeing in a pool with me. Please look up, look away, do something else, don't look me in the face. I actually want to do the opposite. I want us all to be in a pool together, and David stands in the middle, we're all in a circle and he just goes around and each round someone pees and he has to identify who it is that is peeing

based on how they're looking at him. You can see pee in a pool coming out. No, but you're looking, we're locking eyes and you're just going around, we're all kind of circled around you and one by one you're looking and you have to identify who is peeing in my pool right now.

And sometimes you can't. Sometimes it's not all yellow like that. Yeah. Especially if you're in the pool, you probably had a few, like yeah. It's clear. I'm not taking the risk and peeing in a pool if it's gonna come out all yellow.

I kinda know. You know the cover your pee before you pee? I can assume. If I've had a couple of Miller lights, that's gonna be clear. Plus you're peeing through a bathing suit. I mean, it's not like, you know, I assume. You go up against a wall or something.

I don't wanna talk about the day. Can you pee in the ocean? It's disgusting. Can you pee in the ocean? Yes. Okay. What's the difference? What's the difference between the ocean and a pool? How big of a pool are you swimming? Ocean's a fish's home, your future wife.

Billy, an ocean is vast. I don't wanna tell you what's in that ocean, but it's all the poop and pee from all the cruise lines. You know why it's salty? And animals. Whale sperm. Whale sperm. That's science.

He's right about that. Whales be hanging in that water, man. Dilution. You get a rogue wave to the face. The ocean's so big. Whales be jacking it in there, man. Yes. Ha.

They're throwing dildos, Greg. How does a whale do that? You know, dolphins have sex for pleasure. Most animals, they have sex to procreate. Not dolphins. I can't. I think Ron McGill said, dolphins and humans, only ones in the animal kingdom. They have sex for pleasure.

Would you have a dolphin spouse? My concern is the following. That we are going gonna be looked at as stewards of this amazing show. And it started off what I thought was strong, and it's sort of petering at the end with this conversation about whales and how do they, you know, do that.

Yeah, and you having sex with fish. I mean, it just went down. He volunteered it. Yeah, he did. That to me is far more okay than talking about how whales pleasure themselves. Yeah, they're a hanner. Well, they don't have the hands to do it.

Right. They don't have the flippers either. How do they do it? They have flippers, but it doesn't reach. It's kind of like the T-Rex thing. Like how does a T-Rex jack off? What about a tail? I don't think we can say that.

Why not? They're not, what, a T-Rex is gonna take a fence? They got the small arms. They can't reach that far precisely. Yeah, yeah Alligator arms exactly how do alligators do it another good question? Sorry. I've lost otters pleasure themselves I'm getting it back right now. I've seen that video on ebombs world Getting it back. It's not letting this show end Greg without something. Uh-huh. I'm just not letting you leave. Okay.

I want to ask you a question, though. No. No. Did you get a tattoo despite the rabbi referring to it as human desecration? Yes, I've got nine tattoos. And it's okay with your rabbi? It turns out that the...it was all a bobemeister. You can get buried in a Jewish cemetery with tattoos.

Okay. But did he approve, or did he he just say oh, I guess so I asked him about can you be buried in Jewish cemetery? Yeah, and the answer was yes, okay But if you're frozen though, then you don't go to the same thing. You don't are there Are there Lauscher cryogenic places that can adhere to the Jewish faith while they freeze you? No. Or the premise itself? The definition of it, that's like saying can you prepare a lobster in a way that makes it kosher? Yeah, but when they made the bylaws it couldn't possibly fathom a future where they can put you on ice. Now we're talking theology where there's all sorts of rules that came up.

That's where I like to live, that's a sweet spot. Ten thousand years ago, fifty million years ago, whatever the word is, and life's a little different now. So I'm not going to the rabbi on that. Do you subscribe to the theory that John went into the future and that's why Revelation is so kind of out there? Because how would John be able to describe a helicopter? Well, that looks like a lion with seven snake heads, if I've ever seen one. Oh. Seems like the Book of Mormon to me. Well, that looks like a lion with seven snake heads if I've ever seen one

Seems like the Book of Mormon to me, but no I have no explanation for what you're asking I've never been talking about the end times. I don't know Testament guys. Yeah, you're missing some good stuff with you I've never read the New Testament. Oh Yeah, I don't know any shorter than the the orders in the old one Oh very sure read that one either you know have you read the old not the old or the new how many people do you know have read the entire thing? Mike Ryan is the first one I show hands. That's my school teacher most pastors haven't read the Bible No, that can't be that Roy. I don't know about that one Did the guy who held up the John 316 sign did he read the Bible? How else would he know to hold up John 316?

Somebody told him. Showbo, wasn't there a whole story around that guy? Yeah, the rainbow guy? I think he's dead and a criminal. And not necessarily in that order. Really? The posthumous criminal. Yeah, posthumous.

He was not. What was his crime? He was the rainbow guy. Yeah, there was something wrong. We've covered that. Have you? But no, my thing is on all of the verses, we had players who would put verses on their hat,

and then MLB disallowed it, because there's no way to know what the verse is. And then they tried- That's not what that was. Yeah. No, that was around 9-11, where there was a big Islamophobia, and they would always cite, like what if someone decides to put scripture from the Quran?

Where does it end? So they just decided to wipe it all out. So no, but the actual That's what is the excuse that we got in the NFL the actual thing that happened So it was we said it was the caps because it was what was happening is the sponsors the people who do caps at that time It was new era, but whether it's Nike whoever does the uniform There's a standard uniform and we get paid for players having that as the uniform and you can't change any of it because it basically takes value away. No, but people were worried about the other stuff that I said. We would be able to control that as best we could, but that's what worried me when we had people putting strip shirt on is I would say, well, what does that one mean?

And they put on their shoe or they put on their hat. Look it up, David, like you got it. I wouldn't even know how to look that up. What do you mean? This is not enough. This was pre- You can do it analog or Google. You say pre-internet?

You go like, what does that book start with? Oh, it's Ephesians. All right, let me go to Ephesians chapter and then verse. It normally says like 24 dot dot 12 dot dot six. It's a colon. You're gonna come up with that, like that? Yeah. Yeah. I got this stuff pretty easy.

Yeah, like if I were concerned as to what this was, you could just put it in the old computer too. You have been, basically since the days of dial-up. Yeah, I would pay people to do, I can't do that. What do you think about the Bible codes? I don't have any. No, no, no, the Bible codes do that. What do you think about the Bible codes? I don't have any. No, no, no, the Bible codes is like, my grandfather got really into the Bible codes

and he started using it to predict the future. I'm like, grandpa, you don't understand number sequences. I mean, the Bible's basically infinite. You can find a pattern in anything. And you're opening a Pandora's box if you try to start predicting politicians being in there. I never have done, I've never been in that business, the Nostradamus business.

I predicted our season record every year. That's all I would ever do. I don't like predict whether I don't predict Bible, I don't predict anything. Were you all as optimistic? Yes, of course. And only one out of 18 years did I get it right. I guess the 91.

Well, when you say you're not in the predicting business, you have a thing with, you know, wait to see. Wait to see, so. But that's me telling you that I know something's gonna happen. Right, but you don't. But sometimes I'm wrong. Yeah. But I wouldn't do it like for end of days.

There's people who are predicting, like, oh, the end of the world, like. I think it's gonna happen real soon. The end of the world? Yeah. How soon? But you're just paralyzed. Well, because AI, like this whole thing, like, just accelerated. What year? I think the world's gonna be How soon? Well, because AI, like this whole thing, like it's just accelerated.

I think the world's gonna be pretty unrecognizable come two years from now. How long is your contract? Two years? Two years. Two years. David's gonna have a fish in a hundred. I just, I really worry about this.

I think we've set off a course of events that there's no coming back from. Oh boy. Now you've been hanging out with them for too long. No, no, no, no, no. I thought that the first term though. We made it through the Cuban Missile Crisis. This is way worse though No, it's were you around for the Cuban Missile Crisis. Yeah, but I was that you say that Destruction

Computers just gonna decide that there needs to be a reset. Well, Y2K was gonna do that too. And we beat him. I don't know if you remember Y2K, my dad was a banker. He owned a little neighborhood bank. One of the many things he did in his life before he passed away. Samson and Trust. It was called Liberty Bank actually. Okay. And he couldn't go on a vacation in December of 1999 and he wanted to but he couldn't go because there was a concern that when the clock went to midnight that all the

money would disappear from the bank or that all the people would do a run on the bank so he had to stay there and it ended up being a big nothing. Yeah. Nothing happened. My grandfather was very high key disappointed that it didn't happen. Oh. Because he was preparing for it. He was referencing the Bible codes, like Y2K shows up a bunch,

and like I was eating corned beef hash for three years. What was he? I wonder if they had that same thing in 1899. Yeah, good question. You think? I was thinking it would be a perfect time for David's dad to just steal all the money because the assumption is it's all gonna disappear anyways

So he does the opposite like he took all the money out of all the accounts and he goes on the vacation Yeah, and then when everyone's like where's the money's like y2k? Yes Good guy he wouldn't do that. I'm so opportunity certain that we are never gonna have time travel I knew it for a fact because if we ever were gonna have it, they would have been here by now. Yeah, that's true. What about Simpsons writers? What about that guy in the Tyson fight with the iPhone? It's a lot, we'll get to that in a second.

It's a lot like the Bible codes, Izzy, in that there are so many episodes of The Simpsons that there's going to be some things that feel predictive. That's fair. I also have the opinion that we are not the first civilization. They've already done this. We're in a projection. We're doing it all over again. Wait, what if we're the human consciousness program? There you go.

You're saying the Matrix. All right, back to Billy's question. What's Billy's question? The iPhone at the Tyson fight? Yeah. Did you ever see that? Yeah, of course. Do you believe it? No. Oh. I mean, it looks a lot like an iPhone. But it's, if you back, back in the day, Greg, you could go to Japan and you got stuff 10 years before anybody else. The best gift I ever got as a privileged spoiled kid is I got a Sony Walkman before they ever made it

to the States and it was this big. It was insane. You could only put a tape in it. Right? The first Sony Walkman. But I got it years and years in advance, but there was no, I didn't own any tapes, like there was nothing I could do.

But, so I believe that Japan may have had a phone one time ago. I mean, Maxwell Smart was using a shoe phone. That's true. We still don't have those. We had a microphone in the 1960s. 50s and 60s. We haven't gotten those yet.

I know, it'd be great, wouldn't it? I was at a concert not too long ago and I saw a lot of the youths there with digital cameras and I was like, what are we doing? We're like, we're reversing in technology now. It's very popular to take a digital camera and take pictures and it's kind of like, I had those and they kind of sucked a little bit.

I think it's all gonna come back, especially if we do somehow survive the next two years with AI, people are gonna have a sense of, a longing for a community and tangible things that have gone away. It's how vinyl records came back because that's how people have emotional attachments to these things.

100%, I'm with Mike. I'm scared to death. I am now scared of bunny rabbits just because of that one AI video of the bunnies jumping on the trampoline. Like, it's nothing about it that's really scary, but the idea that if it was real, a bunch of bunny rabbits just kind of,

and then it seems like some of them kind of multiply out of nowhere. It's like straight out of my nightmares, and so now I'm scared of rabbits. The only thing I'm scared of is dildos. That's it, I'm not throwing dildos, Greg. Any animal, I'm not scared of anything. I'm not scared of time passing, time travel. I'm not scared of fish. You know, I'm not sure if anything. I'm not scared of time passing time travel. I'm not scared of fish

You know I'm not sure if it's AI or not, but now you see babies Talking you know like yeah, that's a chubby babies dress like Trump. Yeah talking. It's it's crazy Those are real I saw one is Stephen a Smith the other day boggles of mine. Yeah, it really does bottom feeder crazy I think we're all gonna be okay and Mike if I could offer you just some solace that I Promise that three years from now. You're still gonna know me I'm committed to that. Is that good or bad? That felt like a threat. Yeah, it was no that's a promise. I used to pronounce that so lace