The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: You've Been Severed

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

Chris Cote has a first world problem to bring to the show, and Tony and Jeremy are here to give him some life advice. Ricky Williams is here to discuss the life and future of Victor Wembanyama as he goes into the league with unprecedented hype. Plus, Dan has a number of topics he still wants to get to including Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk potentially fighting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Dunlabel Tarshou with the Stugat's Podcast. Alright, what I'm about to say is admittedly a first world problem. I'm about to complain about something and it's probably the most first world problem thing ever. Well, maybe the submarine thing is. Regardless, I want everyone to kind of think of first world problems in their lives, but I'm going to tell you an issue I'm having with right now. I'm going on a vacation next week.

And as Dan talked about, a lot of vacation time here. Crews, Alaskan crews, week long crews. And I'm already dreading the last couple days of this vacation. There's nothing worse. I would argue that right now what I'm doing the day before I leave for vacation is as fun and the energy is great. It's so much better than the last couple days of the actual vacation itself. I'm one of these people. If I have a five day vacation, day four, day five, I'm dreading everything. I'm thinking about my travel plans back.

I'm not enjoying what I'm doing that last night because I'm like, oh, I got a flight tomorrow. I get real sad when vacation's end. And it's like, once I get past the halfway point, even. I start to just like the whole time I'm thinking up, this is almost over. And it's just, I'm living in this space right now, the day before I leave, I think is better

than the last day of actual day. But what are you doing before you go on vacation already soiling it with what the last days of vacation are going to feel like? Why are you, before experiencing fully, the excitement and the enthusiasm of vacation already dreading that one day that enthusiasm will expire. I don't know.

I don't know what it says. Maybe I need a therapist to tell me what I'm doing here, but I'm always like this. I even try, I'm like, I'm giving it to my daughter now. I'm like, you got it. These, these, like, she's like, I want to go on this vacation. I'm like, don't rush it,

because it's going to be gone soon. This week before vacation is a good week. You're going to work every day, school every day. You're like, oh, I got this vacation, I'm gonna be so much fun. And I just love this feeling of having the vacation that when I get to it, I'm good the first few days, but once I'm over the hill.

You love the feeling of going on vacation so much that you enjoy the feeling of going on vacation before more than actually going on vacation. Yes, that's crazy. I hate the last night of vacation. Chris is right about the last day. The last night of a cruise. I'm just like, I gotta get on my bag pack.

I gotta fly out the next day. I can't even have fun the last night of a cruise. Especially if you have an afternoon flight. An afternoon flight on the last day of vacation, like an early afternoon flight, you've convinced yourself, oh, I'm not leaving until three. It's a terrible breakfast. It's a terrible breakfast.

Oh, I don't have enough time for lunch. I gotta leave my bag at the, can you watch my bag and then I gotta go to a hat? Do I have to early checkout? Do I have late checkout? How does that work? Do I have to bring my stuff down to the lobby? It's incredibly stressful.

I just, in first world problems, once again, wanna say that, I realize this is not a real complaint, but it's just, it makes me sad. The end of a vacation makes me sad. Let me throw my psychiatrist hat here for a second, Chris. Here's the advice that I would give you. Don't let tomorrow rob you of today. There's something about being present bars.

But what about before a vacation? No, no, no, no, no, you're worried about the wrong thing. Live every day in the present because the future doesn't actually exist. That sounds like an Instagram meme. It does have a little fortune cookie philosophy in it, but it's also the wisdom passed down in number one bestseller, New York Times,

self-help books. All your promised is right now, get rid of feared doubt and regret living right now, and you too can be toning, finding God in the woods when you put away your food. Dan, am I wrong? Or do we all have the present? That's all we have. That is the moment, right? No, that is the only thing that we have.

You are correct philosophically, but Roy is also correct when he says, it does sound like something that I would see in a fortune cookie that I cracked open. It sounds like, what, the secret, I believe you, maintain positivity. No, the secret is totally different. That is not the same thing in any way. The secret is just if you believe all things will be positive, then all things will indeed be positive. You will welcome through the universe positivity

by merely thinking of positivity. Not what I'm saying, not at all. Not at all, not at all. Embracing the present, even if it's hard, even if it's pain, you embrace it because that's what you have. Am I alone though? Like Dan, like when you go to Hawaii for like a week and a half.

I'm so blind. That's like, I'm just, I'm trying to think of like one of the trips he's taken. Like are you, the last few days, aren't you kind of thinking like, it's not as fun. We can all agree. The first, if you're on a seven day vacation, the first four days, much more fun than the last three days. The thing that I would disagree with you on,

because I do think that the night before having to pack up a room to go somewhere and then get to the airport, can be something that is unsavory punctuation, otherwise was a nice trip. But I would say that if, and this is gonna sound terrible, it is, this is worse than your first world problem stuff. But if you don't mind your actual life and if you don't mind getting back to work, if you like what it is that you're returning to, which I do, well not enough. That's all I get.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I think that this speaks to, if I have these feelings, I just feel like this, maybe I'm alone. You guys are all looking at me, maybe I'm crazy. I don't hate my job, I enjoy. I didn't say you hated your job. I am just saying different philosophically because I've always enjoyed returning to work.

I'm not saying that that's for everybody, but I've told you before. I mean, Eckerd totally writes about what it is that Tony's talking about, the power of now, where it is you can find happiness by having some of your mind control. And I would now, where it is you can find happiness by having some of your mind control. And I would say one of the places you can find happiness is by enjoying your work as much as you enjoy vacation.

Now, that's pretty hard to come by. Does this place have a wind jammer? I mean, we're on the water. You could literally. It's the buffet on the cruise. You could literally have a buffet on the water. You couldn't have that shitty cruise ship Midnight that I know you're going to have it. Uh-oh, it's time to lose. But this is why you feel bad at the end of the trip. You feel sloppy. You've had five nights of the drink package with your dad.

At the seven nights. Your dad has had 15 nights. Team, my dad blows down the casino every night. Yes, your room smells foul and fetted of socks and fart. Oh. No, you weren't, no, this is what after, I know that, I know you. You have a suitcase filled with things that smell bad. And good. For the know what you like. Can I give you a little more life advice, Chris?

Live laugh love. You guys are useless. What are you trying to do here, Jeremy? I'm trying to give you a real advice. The back row has been useless. What? Living the moment, like just be honest with me, Tony, you hate the last day of the video, too.

I love the last day of vacation. Just like Dan said, I like to get back to what it is that we do. I like going to work with you guys. I like talking. I like doing these things. So like, I'm excited. You like talking. I actually feel very refreshed when I come back

to this thing when you try to make this, like me hating this place. No, this is just, hey, on Monday mornings, you guys don't ever get, like, sometimes in Monday mornings, it's like, oh, the week. You know, it's just like, it doesn't matter what your job is.

Life gets it, like just, maybe, all right, I'm turning my mic up. I was opening myself up and you guys are mocking me. I'm done. I'm with you, Chris. Completely. I was trying to help you. I think that when you look at the last day

of a vacation and you compare it to the day before, I think you're totally right. Completely. I was trying to help you. I think that when you look at the last day of a vacation and you compare it to the day before, I think you're totally right. It's the hype. It's almost like, you know, you're talking about in sports. There are fans right now that like the off-season of the NBA more than the actual season, because it's the idea of like,

look at all the possibilities, look at what could happen, the possibility of vacation where, when you're on the back end, it already happened. Now I'm going back to the monotony of whatever my daily life is whether I love it or not I that's why I love planning a trip six months in advance I love just for months and months like with my daughter through five months away four months away And now we're here and it's like shit. It's gonna be over soon. I just like a vacation man

I like cruises. I just like something to look forward to. Actual advice on something I've started doing on vacation. Pack your bags the morning of not the last day, but the second to last day. So that way, you don't even have to worry about it that last night when you're, you know, partaking in whatever you're partaking in. Dreading it again. No, but then to last night, I'm like, I got a pack tomorrow, but then there's one more day. It's that awkward day where I'm trying to convince myself that it's not over- It's not over- not over procrastinating. You could procrastinate. If you schedule it for the morning of, if you schedule it for the morning of the second the last day, then if you kick it down the line a little bit, you're still packing early.

It's gonna make you feel good. I gotta get someone to pack my bags for me like, Dan, that's it. I need a bag packer. I don't have a bag packer. You don't seem like someone who's, and I'm like, I'm in the same boat. Like, are you using like these, what are these things nowadays? These modern ways of packing cubes? These packing cubes, no, right? You're not using these. I'm not an efficient packer,

but I would say that I just bring, I don't over pack, and I'm not bringing stuff. Everybody over packs, stand, come on. You pack a ton of underwear though, right? I always, a couple of extra pair, just in case. Thank you, Tony. Jay, I see. Every man needs to, you know what I mean? Good man's good but beyond that i don't think that i have to yes i you overpacked

a a little bit but it's not a complicated endeavor and i don't know why you think that i travel with a personal but uh... bag packer like why do you think that that would be something that i have the shoe fits that i i'd that the shoe doesn't fit, Dano. I've had my own shoes. Let's go, let's go around the room. Draw, draw, draw, draw. Draw, draw. Let's take a poll.

If someone in our, in our orbit had someone who packed their pack for them. Your father. Well, he does my mom. No, I know. Your father is who I would select. In our orbit, doesn't do anything for himself because he's an infant and an elderly man

that soon will be wearing an actual diaper as we take him to career hospice. He can't do anything for himself because he's an infant and an elderly man that soon will be wearing an actual diaper as we take him to career hospice. He can't do anything for himself, your father, nothing including the show. I think he's still trying to get home on the train from Tuesday. What is happening there? What? He still can't do it. He's done it with me. I think 12 times now. Like 12 weeks ago we've been doing this. This is what I am telling you as I try to wrestle the car keys away from a stubborn old Cuban man because I don't want to get a call that he's had a fiery wreck because he's too old to be driving. And it doesn't work.

I cannot get the keys away from him because he is proud. Your father is 10 years older or 10 years younger than my father, but 10,000 times more stubborn and 10,000 times more stubborn, and 10,000 times more the toddler. Your father, late in his life, is to you, like my father has become to me, the child you were taking care of. So true.

No, this is what happens with age. Nobody warned me. Nobody warned me that my parents would become the children. And when I talk to other people my age, they're like, yeah, what'd you think was gonna happen? Circle of life. Sad. Well, not as sad as your take, though,

that I'm sad to go on vacation because I'm already dreading the old fours. No, this is as happy as I'll get right now. But you're already, yes, it's as happy as you can get, but you still have a dread. I leave you today. I leave you today. And I just have to take a flight tomorrow. Oh, no, there's no happier me than the night before my flight for a vacation

Uh-huh, you could punch me in the face and be like I'm good Don't really punch me weird thing to say just saying it is a strange thing to say I Would like to know and I don't know if any of you guys have considered this as my entire career crumbles in a way that's obvious to me every time we try to throw up a video and it's just whoopi Goldberg's face on Freddie Mercury's body and I'm like this is what I've done with the freedom that's the best thing we've done all week oh yeah my ESPN career Oh, yeah, my ESPN career Come on, yeah, that's so good. It's why I left the ESPN. I saw what I really coach I saw what they were gonna do to Max Kellerman and everyone else and I said I've got the idea for the future

I'm gonna you watch how I change the industry with Eddie Whoopi Goldberg as the basketball coach on Freddie Mercury's body, but and who got us there? Well, but here. Yes, you can take Jordan. You can take credit for that, DeAndre Jordan. But the question I'm about to ask is, as Roy does what he did to Buggie in the butt, and you did that, wins my vacation! Hola, alguien me escucha, necesito ayuda.

Estoy en Barcelona y las criaturas están por todas partes. Así que... ¡Araíz, bluque, de la aízux, a la islux, a la islux. Escuchéis lo que escuchéis, tapados los ojos. La calle vamos todos a ciedas, pero lo más aterrador es no saber en qué confiar. Uí de las personas que os piden que mireis. Si queréis seguir convido. Birdbox, Barcelona.

Estreno en Netflix el 14 de julio. Te atreves a ver. Dan Lebatard, The alley has a bad reputation in general, right? It does. Brought American history. But on South Beach, someone's always just sitting somewhere, smoking a cigarette.

You can't go down an alley around here and not see someone sitting there smoking a cigarette. It retains a pulsating heat from the night before. You walk by some liquid that your like is that water. It's rain last night. That's definitely not water. Avoid the liquid. Always avoid the liquid in an alley. Stugats! I venture to guess that if you were to rake your tongue

on the asphalt of an alley, you would die immediately. I don't think it would be immediately, though. First, you'd contract very quickly right before death several sexual diseases, and then you would die. This is the Dan Lebatar show with this two gods. There is a giant generational difference between where it is I am and where it is the people who will be drafted into the NBA tonight are. Brandon Miller is so young that when he's asked who's the goat in basketball, is it LeBron or Michael Jordan?

His choice is Paul George. And it's not because he's an idiot. It's because he grew up with Paul George. That's the guy that he admired. And I know many of us will laugh at the absurdity of that. Of course, no one will agree with that. Not even Paul George, but Brandon Miller is coming from youth perspective and he will not be drafted

as high as the guy that everyone is talking about today who represents not just the future of basketball, but honest to God, evolution in the human form that I've never seen in basketball somebody who seven four seven five and growing and is expected to be LeBron with all those pressures victor wemba njama went on the old man in the three podcast with jj reddick jj reddick is six foot four he dwarfs him he made him look like a tiny child like a very small person a large NBA player i know you don't think of red it is large, but he's larger than most people you know. He's taller than Ricky Williams who's on with us here by by several inches and Victor Wemba Nyama went on this

podcast, listened to him because this is mature beyond his years, but Ricky's lived all this stuff. Ricky has a wisdom with fame, with money, with glory, with temptation. Let's listen to Victor Wembenyama, entering prodigy status and fame tonight, the biggest night of his professional life. You know, what you just said about young players, this is something I thought about a lot. I know I'm never gonna turn like this.

Like, I know I'm never gonna lose aggressive on reality and just do some shit, you know? Cause I know what I want. Like I'm driven from like from the inside of my heart and like nothing can put me out of my path. Like I do everything, I do everything I can so I deserve what I get. And I think some players are really talented physically

or technically, you know, really, really talented. But their mind isn't like as good as their body is. I'm saying, my total is, it's something like, it's something bigger than basketball, you know. It's just life. It's just accomplishing yourself inside this universe, You know, you know, I mean, motivation, when I need energy and I feel tired out when I need to fight on the court, and it's, it's hard. I always remember. I'm, I'm freeing that universe. I do whatever I can. And I know what I want to do. And nothing's going to stop me from doing it. And I always got that in mind. And it doesn't just stop to basketball. You know, it's, it's about life. That is fine and wise and perspective, Ricky. But I also don't think that he knows what kind of temptations, pressures, and burdens are about to come I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person.

I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person.

I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, but I'm not a good person. But the disadvantage of being young is you have no idea. You know, I love his attitude, and if he can maintain that attitude and help him deal with the difficulties that will come, then I think he's going to be all right. You know, he talked about athletes and their athletic ability and their physical prowess, you know, and maybe their mind hasn't caught up. It seems like he's got the stature as far as is is height. And he's definitely has the right mindset. But basketball is a rough game. And when you look at him, you know, the feeling that I get is, ooh, he might, he might break. And so my imagination, and this is what I, you know, speaking from personal bias, for my experience, going into the NFL, I thought I had

the right mind frame, but first preseason game, I had an ankle injury, and I battled injuries my whole first two seasons. And so, as an example, I would sit down, and I would say, imagine injuries. Imagine injuries, just sit with it and feel it and imagine it, and then see how optimistic you can be. Because if you could be optimistic going through the ups and downs of a physical game like basketball and still

maintain that mindset, I think he's going to be all right. The other thing that, you know, as I look at the story and I've been following it a little bit, is hype. You know, there's so there's so much hype, right? And when we're fortunate, you know, hype in reality, you know, they integrate and things work out, but that's a rare combination. And so, I'm talking to him, I say, you know, work your ass off and prepare for the worst. Ricky, you lived this exact part of it,

because you weren't the biggest hype athlete in the world or in your sport. Well, maybe you were in your sport actually when you came in that draft, yeah, you probably were in your sport. You feel bulletproof, you think you're mentally tough. And then your case, as you mentioned, injury, but this could be foot problems. And if foot problems grab this guy, I don't care how mentally tough he is. He's seven foot five.

What's he going to do if all of a sudden there's hype and he physically can't play? Yeah. It's going to be difficult if he doesn't prepare for it. You know, it's easy before you're there and you have the right mindset. It's easy to say the right things. And it's necessary, right? You have to start that way. But again, the reality is things are going to go wrong.

I can guarantee that 100%. And if the worst thing that goes wrong is an injury where he can't be on the court, he needs to have a game plan for how he's gonna deal with that. And part of that game plan is not getting caught up in the hype and just talking about being great, but it's funny when I was growing up and I said, I want to be a professional athlete, people would say you need a backup plan.

And I'm not saying a backup plan, it's just to realize that even if you play it's 20 years, he's still going to have half of his life to go. And it's thinking about how are you going to use the opportunities that are presented to you? Because there's going to be a whole bunch of opportunities. But if they're only limited to what he can do on the court and there's an injury, he's in trouble. And so, you know, I think LeBron is a wonderful example. He's been able to parlay the hype into something tangible and something real that can exist beyond the game. And I think when we see a player like this,

a generational player, it's an opportunity to change the mindset about what it means to be an athlete. And I think because he's a foreigner, he's coming from a different perspective, he has the ability to really make a big impact on American sports. That's a great work. That's worth putting all the effort into that will transcend what he can actually do on the court to a certain extent. Sardin erupt you. You mentioned LeBronon though, and I think he's placed the bar in an impossibly high place by actually meeting unreasonable hype and expectations, at least in part, because his body so rarely broke down,

Ricky, like that. I don't think that Lebron put the bar in such an unreasonable place that it made, it's made to look easy. When at any time in human history, we've questioned this size coming into the draft because like you said, that looks physically like it's going to break. It's real. I don't feel good saying that because you know, it kind of, I don't want to be the fun sponge to pop the hype bubble, you know, but eventually the hype bubble

is going to get popped. You know, you could say go in the rate room and build all these things, but coming back to what he's talking about, it really is a mental thing. And I think mentally preparing for battle and for the war, it's going to give him the best shot to be successful. I remember a long time ago, people were making fun of Michael Irvin and saying he had a bunch of off-field stuff. And they were right.

He had off-field stuff. But his response was that discipline, mental toughness is not what you do necessarily off of the field. It's the fourth quarter. It's hot. Your body is spent and you are exhausted. The man across from you is beating you. And now someone has done a hard count. And you are exhausted. The man across from you is beating you, and now someone has done a hard count,

and you're exhausted, and the hard count doesn't make you jump because you're so disciplined about your craft that the exhaustion is something that doesn't break you. Can you explain to me what your mental toughness was? What does it mean for Ricky Williams to be mentally tough when he's carrying the football 400 times a year?

Yeah, my definition is slightly slightly different and it brings in a lot of the stuff that I have to deal with off the field. And to me, mentally tough is knowing that when you fall down, no matter what causes you to fall down, no matter the circumstances, mentally tough is you tell yourself no matter what, I'm going to get back up and I'm going to keep you going that that's mentally tough because again things are going to happen and it's our response to those things that allows us to keep on moving and so that's why I would say you know prepare for the worst and Start to come up with the plan for how you're mentally and physically gonna get past it, you know failing drug tests like being photographed in a wedding dress,

thank you Dan. You know, all of these things kept like knocking me down, knocking me down, making it hard to access my talent and my ability, but the attitude of no matter what, I'm gonna keep working and I'm gonna keep working, you know, has led to me being able to transform those things into something meaningful in life. Ricky, you say that though. It's so easy to say with the wisdom of age and perspective. You did not have this wisdom. You didn't think you were going to get hurt. Wisdom is always hard, hard one. It's always. You always have to fight for it. And this is what I, unfortunately, gets lost in the hype.

You know, we can talk about the hard work of training and, you know, spending time in the gym and in the weight room and making sure, but okay, that's preparation. Okay, the real difficulty is when things go wrong. And so, you know, if we can change our mindsets into like preparing for things to go wrong and preparing our plan for how we're going to deal with it and overcome it, because that's where the growth, that's where the wisdom is, is wrong. And those difficult circumstances. I think that's as dark as I've just about ever seen you, is when you got hurt that first year, when you got hurt and that hype sort of ate up your life it felt like. I think that that

that made you spiral into or notice some of the things in the mirror that that you treated with antidepressants and other things because you're 20 years old, you're the Heisman trophy winner, your identity is I'm the greatest football player and now your body's betrayed you. I don't remember seeing a darker time for you, not even when you retired, not even when you were barefoot living in a tent in Australia. That was like a more enlightened time, I thought. Am I wrong about this?

Then you're very first year when you had the hype and then your body betrays you. Well, I don't think you can really separate the two in time, but if we go before the leaving and the reflection in that moment, it was definitely the darkest time. And I think when the bubble is popped, you know, all the, like you, you know, you said it so beautifully, the hype turns on you because now you're stuck with how you weren't able to live up to it. And right now, you know, there's, you

can be buoyant on the, on the hype. And so, but they're, they're not separate. I needed to go through that disillusionment to have something that's actually real. I feel like especially athletes that start young is like it protects them from life. People talk about sports as a metaphor for life. It's a metaphor for life, but it's not life. And if you don't take the lessons you learn from the metaphor and apply it to life when things actually go wrong,

so many athletes, I think they lose out on their innate abilities because they can't make that They can't make that integration Real quick before we get you out of here because we've wandered away over the last couple of months away from the astrology readings You have made some deep and meaningful connections with some of the listeners of this show if people just want for you to read their astrological chart and walk them through some stuff. How can they do, how can they do that if what Ricky Williams is selling is something they're buying? Well, this is a good example. There's no birth time here, but he's a capricorn. Capricorn, it's where I got a lot of the ideas about this conversation.

Capricorn is about overcoming difficulty. The goal, this is the symbol. It's about climbing to the top of the mountain, but you've got to take one step at a time, one step at a time to get to the top. And each of us have a meaningful story to live. And part of Victor's story is going to be the challenge of overcoming difficulty. And so people can reach out at Ricky Williams.life. And what I do is I help people tie into the meaningful theme and stories in their life so they can approach them the same way that I approached football. And it's interesting, people think of astrology, all this spiritual stuff, but the kind of mindset and attitude I bring to it is the same I brought to play in the Ravens.

Is that there's challenges, there's a storyline and if we can step up, meet the challenge, then we become victorious. Good talking to you, Ricky, always good seeing you. We'll catch up next week, buddy. All right, thanks Dan. Don Lebatard! At the end of our conversation with Alex Smith, and we talked for about 30 minutes, but I feel like nobody is going to remember anything about that conversation other than how you fell flat at the end with your very last word.

Listen to how Stugots here at the end of this interview says goodbye just exhausted to Alex Smith. That's Stugots. What happened? Alex? I'm dead. I'm exhausted. I haven't stopped talking in a month. Iish? I'm dead, I'm exhausted.

I haven't stopped talking in a month. I mean, I don't know to tell you. VCC Don't Live At Our Show with their two guts. I'm bummed out because even though we talked to an explorer today and even though Brockmeyer was great, I've run out of show somehow. I have a lot of things that I wanted to talk about that I can't get to. A University of Florida documentary,

a Barry Bond's documentary, the Netflix show or documentary or series about quarterbacks that Tony can't shut up about. I want to get to jeremy's uh... commercial and local sports commercials in general which i believe to be the lowest form of all entertainment oh look it's brine or act oh there's don't can robinson do you think that he can help me move with some bad acting those are the best about what those are the best when they have to say the name it is it is so bad put it on the. Please add Levitard show our local sports commercials the lowest form

Of all entertainment We have to get to I hope we can get to The fact that if you were writing a fictional movie about apocalyptic stupidities You would have everything happening on earth right now that is destroying the Earth while Zuckerberg and Musk talk about actually fighting one another. Like that's how it would work in an apocalyptic future where billionaires waste your time spiraling penis rockets into space and then coming down to Earth and fighting while the world burns. We will hopefully get to that story, a real story.

I thought it was the onion. I thought it was fake. I thought you've got to be kidding me that Zuckerberg and Musk are these billionaire dorks who have so much money that they just want more high school popularity by trying to fight each other. And Zuckerberg likes Jiu-Jitsu and Musk is like, well, wait a minute. Here I come and I will fight you because I just want more attention. I want more popularity. I want the things that $44 billion can't buy me to fill my soul. I just want to be liked and known by people, even if I have to fight Zuckerberg to do it.

We'll get to that in a second. This Ron DeSantis sound. I gotta get to this sound because he's interviewed and all you gotta do is be Trump. Do you know how low the bar is? And he's not gonna be able to do it because he's interviewed and all you gotta do is beat Trump. Do you know how low the bar is? And he's not gonna be able to do it because he can't, do you know how low the bar is? All you have to do is beat Trump

and he doesn't have the charisma to do it because he does interviews like this where we'll play him dabbling in sports in a second. But the first thing I've gotta do before I go any further, because someone did got your journalism me. I did get caught by Jesse Severson on Twitter and I need to admit this and apologize

because Severson, you got me. Scary name. I mean, but he just, I hate internet shame and I feel like Zion right now. I feel really exposed and naked and Jesse Severson is spitting in my mouth. Oh yeah? Because he's got you me.

He's got me dead to rights, checkmate it. He is referencing this Andy Slater scoop. I don't know how locally Andy Slater gets to all of the stories, but he does. Evidently, there's a story Tyree Kill allegedly went on a boat that wasn't his boat, slapped some dude in the back of the head said he could buy the boat allegedly And there are some other details that you could read about if you follow Andy Slater and No charges have been pressed yet, but this is where Severicin's got me Been out of the loop be right and man your casual condescension on how easy you make it to got you meet really hurts Severicin

Out of the loop been out of loop, but has Levitard talked about this Tyree killed story? Or is he circling the wagons? Cause Tyree is fast and makes the dolphins more entertaining. That's in case you had already done a full segment on it. He's been out of the loop. He doesn't know. Good hedge.

How about that guy get in the loop? How about that? You know what, he's right. I'm not gonna criticize Severson. You got me and I'm not gonna get defensive about it or sensitive about it, you got me. I'm totally okay with Tyree Kills slapping everyone in the back of the head if he scores 16 touchdowns because he's faster than everyone else. I'm good with it. If he wants to get on every boat in Miami, I was trying to hide the story

but you got me, slaters got me, I was trying to cover it up for the dolphins. I was trying, hey, nobody look over here. I know charges have been present We can get more details and be responsible, but no I need to cover this up because he might not be fast next year If he's in jail for slapping some dude in the head even though I would never convict him if I was on that jury Slap everyone in the head go ahead just be fast. I need you to be fast and Stay at a jail be the kind of fast that stays at a jail You got me sever sin you got me you've been severed need you to be fast and stay at a jail. Be the kind of fast that stays at a jail. You got me, Severus, and you got me.

You've been severed. Oh, that's good. That's good. You gotta give yourself the Andre Jordan champion right here. Come on. You whoop-up. You whoop-up. That was a shame baddie thing to say.

You took the swing. You took the swing baddie hit like six, three, one time in its finals game. That was it. No, I'm gonna hit it. You deserve it. He took the swing. He hit like six, three, one time in his finals game. That was it. No, I'm gonna hit it. You deserve it. He took the swing and got a basic good job. He's a good man.

You severed, you got a future in this business, and your signature line is you've been severed. That's as good as it gets. It is, I feel like I've been in the better. For sure. Go ahead and play for me, please. This Ron DeSantis sound. again, all you have to do is be better than Trump.

But this interview, I don't think is better than Trump. Ted Williams, when he got inducted all the things that baseball gives every American boy a chance to succeed. And I think there's something to that. There's so many different places that you need to have on a baseball team and there's different skills that are required. So I kind of thought it was always a very democratic game, a very merit-merit-merit-to-credit game, whereas I kind of viewed like basketball as like these guys are just freaks of nature,

they're just like the incredible athletes in baseball. You know, you have some guys that might not necessarily be the best athlete, but maybe they've got, you know, that slider that nobody can hit, or they have the skills that allow them to compete. What I am telling you is from now on, what DeSantis has to do instead of interviews is just appear with an actual dog whistle in his mouth. I mean my good. No, but I'm just saying don't do the interview. Just appear with something a whistle for racists.

Just something that lures racists that he could just have in his mouth and not speak because if you just don't speak, it'll be better. Technically, he's right. Unfortunately, we know where he's talking about. Technically he's right that the world would be a better place if every athlete was David X-Dine. Yeah. Gritty and filled with heart

and not needing those seven feet of muscles in order to put a basket ball in a basket, which is something that can only be done if you're athletically gifted instead of having the white man's grit. Dan, don't you want a world where Bartolo Cologne can look like that and play like that at the same time? I do. Yeah.

David Wells. Something friendly to the heftier types. You know, there's all of them all sizes and shapes out there. Yeah, I'm making more and Dini, you know, that sort of thing. Kevin Elster. The best part about baseball, though, is that it'll also make those freak athletes look like they've never done anything athletic in their lives. If anyone saw Victor Wimbanyama try to throw out the first pitch of the Yankee game the

other day, it's one of the most embarrassing videos he'll have of doing anything athletic and yet, like you said, Bartola Cologne superstar. One of the great conundrums and mysteries in my life that I couldn't understand was watching a Lanzo morning in Patrick Ewing try and take batting practice. And wondering to myself, how is it possible that these two human beings are swinging a baseball bat so much more poorly than I would?

So how is it possible that they have not used any of the pectoral muscles that are required to throw a baseball or swing a bat? They've only used them for jump shots. It's an entire different physical system and therefore they can't do the most basic things in baseball. Regardless, the larger point is DeSantis should just start doing interviews where he makes sure to tell everybody, I just want your racist vote. Yeah, you're right. Don't camouflage it anymore. Yeah, please, just, just, just say the

end word if you want to. But we know you do. Can we get to Elon fighting Zuckerberg because I got, I got a bulltake. I got Elon. Have you seen fighting Zuckerberg? Because I got a bolt-take. I got Elon. Have you seen this guy walk? I've got a tail of a tape here. You could tell by the way that Elon Musk walks, that that dude, he's got some fighting them. I know he kind of looks a little quirky,

like he'll have his shoulders up high, his head'll kind of dig into his neck a little bit, like a turtle almost would, but he's just got this like eerie look to him that I don't want to mess with him. I know Zuckerberg's doing all these, he's about to tell you he trains, he does jujitsu. I got my money on you. You've got, you've got a tail of the tape back there, Ton. Tail of the tape, Dano.

I, we'll run through it really quick. Elon Musk, age 51, height 61 and a half. Good, good, good, a height advantage there. Weight at 185 is reached at 79 inches. We've got Mark Zuckerberg age 39, wait, excuse me, height 5.7. Five, seven. Yeah, weight 155 with a 72 inch reach.

David, next time. So we're looking at, we're looking at a middle weight fighting Zuckerberg like Lewis, our video gap. Basically. Not helpful to the audience in any way, they know. They know. They know. They know. They get it. Yeah know they get it. Yeah, they got it five seven one fifty five Feel like I did so well the whole show

You can't give me the ball at the end of the game. I'm good for like you to them and I'll you 40 Clank through the start of the game the last eight minutes. You don't want me in the game I'm a defensive substitution late of the game. The last eight minutes you don't want me in the game. I'm a defensive substitution late in the game. Chris, you're wearing a hat that says worse than your mother. Chris, what are you deflecting? Did you feel I just, I want to really deconstruct what just happened there. I felt like 5.7, 155 pounds that those numbers empirically were enough to illustrate to the audience.

This is a small human being. You felt it was additive to reference someone. No one in our audience knows how tall, light, heavy he is. Right. Even if they know Lewis, they've never probably seen him in person so you do you thought that your reference was better than the numbers that Tony gave which we could have talked about this fight and now we can't because of how you decided to finish this