The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Zaslow Gets Cucked By Billy Crystal (feat. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries)

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

"If there's one thing people know about me, they know I don't ever wanna be a cuckold." Rep. Hakeem Jeffries is here to talk Knicks basketball, the ACC, the Lane Kiffin Protection Act, and... what's that? A diversionary war in Venezuela? Also, we're dreaming of a world where Zas gets cucked and Amin levitates. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you're flying Emirates business class, sipping your favorite cocktail at our onboard lounge, you'll see that your vacation isn't really over until your flight is over. Fly Emirates, fly better. This is the Dan Levator show with the Stucats podcast. Hakeem Jeffries was going to join us here, and then there was a bunch of scampering, and I saw an American flag whisked in the wind as people ran in and, out of a room because things are happening in the country, slightly larger than the Knicks winning the Cup. And so we will get to Hakeem Jeffries here, hopefully, in a second. But before we do

that, a number of things here that we have not gotten to, including the Boost Mobile Boldest take that I will say has been inconsistent, okay? That's the greatest praise I will give it. A broken record. It has been inconsistent. Look, that's the highest praise I'm giving the Boost Mobile Boldest Take. Please stop introducing it this way. 305-486 Gots is the telephone number. I want the audience to get better at these calls. But we all disagree with you. We think they've been just fine.

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Brunch is just an excuse to drink alcohol with your eggs. Davo looks like a skeleton wrapped in masking tape. John Cena's working with a hair system, Brent? Let me get fake Joseph Accus going on a levittar grant about Notre Dame not making the CFP. Hey, Notre Dame, more like Notre Dame. Every time Tony says, I got a guy. I picture Eugeneo Suarez from the Seattle Marin. Heppelix versus convicts.

More like hypocrites versus convicts. I think the reason Mike Ryan wanted Miami into the playoffs over Notre Dame is because Miami won the head-to-head matchup over Notre Dame. Jonathan Zaslow looks like the guy who tried skateboarding at 13 tore his hamstring and never rode again, only to be found at the local park every weekend, tapping up the youngans, reliving the good old days. Jared Goff looks like the adult version of the kid in your neighborhood who always had a Kool-Aid mustache and would snitch on you every time to his mom, and his mom is Jackie McMullen. Hakeem Jeffries was sitting through that, listening to that, wondering what the hell this show is all about. What else he's doing?

They're very busy trying to lead our country. He's been proudly representing New York's 8th Congressional District since 2013. So I believe last night is his greatest sports moment in all of New York time, correct? Look at him smiling. Are you busy planning the parade? Well, that would definitely be my greatest New York Knicks sports moment of all time. I'm a long-suffering Knicks fan. I'm also a Yankee fan.

I'm a Jets fan, so that's a disaster. But I'm also a Yankees fan, so I did get four or five World Series in during my lifetime. So how did, but while in office, if the Yankees, the Yankees won while he said, 2009, 2013, 2013? Yeah, while in the United States Congress, they have not won.

Okay, I just wanted to get that on the record. You're right. Yes, but the Knicks last night won, and I'm curious what that experience is like for you. Were you watching? Yeah, I was able to see it down the stretch pretty much locked into the game with about 10 minutes left. It was a great game. It was a competitive game.

First of all, one of my reactions was, whoa, we actually have a bench that is playing now. It's a foreign experience based on what we've seen over the last four or five years. So it was great to see, you know, Kotech and Clarkson and, of course, Mitchell Robinson do his thing. I think he had 10 offensive rebounds in like 20 minutes. That was a shot at Thibito. That was a shot of Thibodeau, wasn't it? It was. Not using his.

I'll say that Tibido did bring us back, right? So we're thankful for that. And he had a great run. But, you know, there was an open question as to why are we only playing five, six people down the stretch? Same thing happens at the end of the season. They burn out. They get injured. And we get overwhelmed.

So, you know, it's interesting. The Mike Brown experiment is so far so good. Yeah, so Dan Lepitart is only 30 years old, so he thinks that Jalen Brunson is the most beloved Nick of his lifetime. Hakeem, who is the most beloved Knicks to the Knicks fan base? Listen, I think Bernard King always has a special place in my heart, but if I would go like top five Knicks during my lifetime, of course, I never really saw Walt Clyde Fraser play. Of course, experienced him as an announcer, but he brought us two championships, so he's got to be right at the top of the list. Earl Monroe, of course, the pearl, the original pearl, was great and was wonderful. I think he was part of that second championship.

Bernard King did his thing. I think Larry Bird at some point called him Superman or something like Superman. I mean, when Larry Bird says that type of complimentary thing about a Nick or any player, Bernard King, of course, from Brooklyn, was great. But Jalen Brunston clearly has emerged as the type of player who's both skilled and he's got that New York grit that the fans have fought. I want him to rank them, though. I want you to pick number one.

If I pin you down and say the most beloved, you're 55 years old, the most beloved Nick of your lifetime is blank. Bernard King. It's a good choice. Do you want them to put up a banner for the in-season tournament? Well, no, I don't think we should put up a banner. I don't want to go that far. But this was a strong step in the right direction.

One name that I did omit, but I omitted him for a reason, I think the Patrick Ewing was a great Nick, clearly top five of all time. The Riley Knicks, the Van Gundy Knicks, the run that they were on was amazing. I was a St. John's fan and then had to convert to a Patrick Ewing fan when he came and was drafted by the Knicks. I think there was like a love, there was a mixed relationship that the Knicks fans had with Patrick Ewing during those years. I think post Patrick Ewan leaving, there's been a greater appreciation for just how tremendous a player he was. So I think he, of course, is at the top of list as well. But, you know, maybe it's because Bernard King's career was cut short, that there's just

a lot of affection for the time that we had seeing Bernard King be an amazing score, an amazing player. And, of course, he's from New York. Well, that's the thing that you're throwing in. there that would make the argument more complicated because I do believe Jalen Brunson is the most beloved Nick I've seen and it's at least in part because he won more than Bernard King. Like he promises to win more. Bernard King would score on everybody but you never thought they actually had a championship chance.

Yeah, I think that's about right. But I think if Jalen Brunson can actually deliver a championship to the Knicks, which I think they have a good shot at, they clearly, I think are our favorites to win the East. Detroit may be too young. It'll be an epic battle to see us play them. But if he delivers the championship, he may be one of the most beloved players in New York modern sports history, because we all know the city has a love affair with the Knicks. There's nothing better in the city than when the Knicks are good and on a run. We'll get to the real world in a second, but I heard you have some thoughts on Notre Dame

not getting in and Miami getting in instead? Yeah, well, my thing is I understand the choice that was made because of the head-to-head dynamics, but I think the ACC messed up, y'all, because who could really understand, a mathematician can't understand that tiebreaker for the second seed? It was crazy. And how Duke winds up in the ACC championship seemed to me as a captain. casual observer to set in motion a chain of events that ultimately jam Notre Dame. Because if you just had a simple tiebreaker, right, for the second entry into the ACC

championship, the highest ranked team, then it would have been Miami, and then either one of two things would have happened. Either Virginia would have won, and I was rooting for Virginia, but Virginia would have won, and they would have represented the ACC, and we wouldn't have had a second school necessarily make it in from I guess it's called the group of five and or Miami would have won and you wouldn't have had a second school from the group of five Miami would have still made it and Notre Dame would have been able to make it so I think something needs to be done as it relates to how the ACC is making a determination with the monstrous number

of teams that it has so this is going to happen again this traffic jam that occurred. Just let the ACC change their rules so that you have the best two teams, the highest ranked two teams in the championship. Well, you'll be happy to know. They've heard the criticism and they changed it and their solution is some teams play eight conference games. Another group plays nine and we'll see what happens. Yeah, I don't know how that's going to work out. Have you heard of Goldbelly? It's this amazing site that I personally order from all the time. They bring you the most iconic, famous foods from restaurants all across the United States, and they'll ship it anywhere in the country, even to me right here in South Florida.

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Folks, listen up. You know my holiday pattern by now. Every single year I tell myself, listen, Chris, you're going to be thoughtful this year. You're going to get good gifts. You're not going to be lazy. You're not just going to get gift cards. And this year, guys, I have news.

I pulled it off. No panic. No sad little card. You know what I gave? I gave an aura frame. Like, why is it so hard to find a personal gift these days? It's for the people I'm closest to, my parents, my wife, my in-laws, my kid, the most important people in my world, I have no idea what I'm

supposed to get them as a gift. But one thing I know, people light up when they get photos. People love photos. So I loaded up my aura frame with all the moments I know they'll love, my daughter being adorable, random selfies, group pictures where none of us are looking in the same direction. I kept adding them because aura lets you send unlimited photos and videos right from your phone anytime. And the best part, you can preload the thing before it even ships.

So when it's open on Christmas morning, all the memories are already there. I'm telling you guys this is a great gift. And folks, for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visitingoraframes.com to get $35 off Orra's best-selling Carver Matt Frames, name number one by wirecutter, by using promo code DLB. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast to order yours now and get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Thursday night football is on and it's only on Prime Video this week.

The NFC West grabs the spotlight as the Los Angeles Rams. Rams visit the Seattle. Seahawks, what a game. Coverage begins at 7 p.m. Eastern with football's best party TNF tonight. It's the Rams and Seahawks Thursday at 7 p.m. Eastern. And don't miss the Broncos and Chiefs on Christmas Night, only on Prime video. Another massive game. Not a prime member, not a problem.

Simply sign up for a 30-day free trial. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com slash Amazon Prime for details. Don Lebertard. I'm just here to say one thing. The Knicks a f*** back. Stugats. Tarynx.

brain, six points, fraud. Everybody was like, yo, he's better to jail the president. He's better, the Jinick should have drafted him. Fraud. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. You've also had something to do with what you're calling the Lane Kiffin Protection Act. Have you not? Like, you're getting your hands dirty with sports.

Yeah, well, listen, I mean, I think sports is such an important part of life, particularly during these complicated times where we're dealing with so many heavy issues. that to be able to have that kind of escape for everybody, root for your team, whether it's the college that you went to, the college that's in your hometown, or of course, the sports teams that we all fall in love with at a very early age, and then continue to track. So even for us as members of Congress, you know, we all have our team affiliations and we

lean into that. And, you know, it's a release, I think, for all of us who are working through these very challenging dynamics that we're faced with in this country right now. But the Lane Kiffin Protection Act, I mean, that was interesting to me. I'm thinking to myself, we got all of these issues that we're trying to deal with, including, of course, extending the Affordable Care Act tax credits, so that tens of millions of Americans, and we're talking about people all across the country, rural America, urban America, suburban America, small town America, the heartland of America.

We're talking about Republicans and Democrats and independence. This is not a partisan fight. This is the patriotic thing for us to do, make sure health care is not ripped away from tens of millions of Americans. We have a clock ticking on the expiration of these tax credits, the end of this month. And Mike Johnson, you know, who I've had a forward-looking relationship with communicative relationship with my counterpart, the Speaker of the House, who just happens to be connected to LSU, the week after this whole Lane Kiffin, debacle occurs, they bring the score act to the floor and it's deeply flawed. The players unions all are opposed to it led by the NFL Players Association.

It doesn't necessarily provide college athletes with the type of compensation structure that I think many of us believe would be fair at this moment in time. It does nothing to rein in, you know, sort of outlaw behavior by some of the college coaches. that we've seen, but would constrain the ability of college athletes to really earn what they should be earning or negotiate safe, healthy working conditions as they're playing these major sports. And so I thought it was a fundamental mistake that they even brought this bill to the floor. And again, there was Democratic opposition and Republican opposition to it, which is why they ultimately pulled the plug. True or false, Lane Kiffin loves that there's a protection

Act named after him. I'm surprised I didn't get a thank you note from Lane Kiffin after I've made that statement. But you know what's interesting. I've had, you know, from time to time, you know, legendary figures, including Coach Saban, have come up to the hill to kind of talk about the need for Congress to step in and at least create one set of rules, one standard, so you don't have 50 states kind of all doing different things. I support that.

I think that makes total sense. But at the same period of time, it's got to be done in a way that is consistent with our values and doesn't allow a handful of major conferences or major schools within those conferences to run over everyone else. And that was sort of our problem. It's clear, look, we can't have a situation where, you know, things are left totally unregulated. and that, you know, that, that, that leads to the, to the Pony Express situation, which was out of control. Leader Jeffries, could you give us a blow by blow on what your day's been like because it's been a roller coaster? I see that you've secured 218 signatures to force a vote on the floor about Affordable Health Care Act tax credits. And then I just saw that there won't be a vote.

And I'm once again looking at the news saying, how are they allowed to do this? Where are we now? Yeah. So we launched what we call a discharge petition. a few weeks ago that allows any individual member of Congress, their 435 of us, to sign a petition that would force a vote on a particular piece of legislation, in this instance, a three-year straightforward extension of the Affordable Care Act tax credits so we can protect the health care of tens of millions of folks all across the country. We've got earlier today 218 signatures, which was a big development. Now, that does force the Speaker to bring the bill to the floor. However, under the rules, he has a total of seven legislative days to do it, which means that the earliest that of, this is our last week scheduled to be in session before the holiday recess, which means that there will be a vote, but the earliest that the vote can be under the rules would be in January, unless the speaker decides to bring it to the floor today or tomorrow,

which he could do, but it appears, unfortunately, as of the moment, he will not. Is there going to be another government shutdown? Like, what are you predicting here? Yeah, well, listen, I think what's in front of us now is to try to extend the Affordable Care Act tax credits because we know they expire by the end of December 31st. And listen, we have a broken health care system. There's a lot more that needs to be done to address it. This is the wealthiest country in the history of the world.

health care, in our view, access to high-quality health care cannot simply be a privilege available only to the wealthy and the well-off. It should be a right that's available to everyday Americans and everyone. And we're going to continue to fight for that principle generally and specifically as it relates to the extension of Affordable Care Act tax credits. Now, the government funding is scheduled to lapse on January 30th. And though that's just next month, that is a lifetime in Congress. And so I think that there's an opportunity for us to come together in a bipartisan way to find the common ground to enact a spending agreement that meets the needs of the American people and avoids a shutdown. The president took to True Social and kind of greased

the rails for some military action against Venezuela. There's reports of a presidential address happening tomorrow. The president in bizarre fashion said Venezuela took land from the U.S. Outside of Doral, I'm not really sure what that could possibly be. What's going on here? Are we really going to go to a war that is meant as a diversion? Yeah, I certainly hope not. And the American people, Democrats, Republicans, independents do not support another foreign war. We got big problems in this country. The cost of living is out of control. And Donald Trump did promise that he was going to lower costs on day one. Of course, that hasn't happened. Costs haven't gone down, costs are going up, housing costs are out of control, health care costs out of control, grocery costs out of control, even electricity costs, utility bills right now, skyrocketing out of control.

There's a lot of things to be focused on in terms of making life better for working class Americans, middle class Americans, and everyday Americans. The last thing in the world that we need is another foreign war that inevitably ends in disaster. What percentage of people call you, Hakeem, and what percentage call you leader? Because Chris Cody didn't really, it seemed awkward. It felt awkward to Chris Cody to hear Mike Ryan call you leader Jeffreys. Yeah, it is an interesting title. But most people, listen, when I'm back at home, people call me Hakeem. And, you know, for me, I've always interpreted it as a sign that I've been as effective as I can be in establishing a close

relationship with the people that I'm privileged to serve and you know it's something that we'll continue to lean into you know in the House we kind of view the institution based on what the framers set forth as the institution closest to the American people is the reason why we have these two-year terms we got to go back to the voters every two years to have our employment contract renewed because the framers of the Constitution wanted us to stay close to the American people and there are a variety of ways to do it but the familiarity in terms of how constituents I'm privileged to serve, call me by my first name,

is always something that I've been, that I've embraced. Thank you, leader, Jeffries. We appreciate the time, sir. Thank you all. Aplause from Juju. Juju giving applause there. I was not expecting applause from the other room. Yeah, it is an excellent answer, is it not. It's a holiday season and the 50th anniversary of Miller Light.

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Limited time offer. Don Lebertard. You got to know, I'm a big Colombo guy. Salute to that boy. Okay, I don't think that's proof. I don't think that's proof. I think that could be a lie. I don't think that's a lie. I don't think that is

evidence. Salute to that boy. It suggests camouflage. It suggests that Jujud has no idea what we're talking about. And now it's just Googling it. Stugats. I'm not Googling. in there. My grandmama stayed in the country. I watched the Braves. I watch Colombo. I watch

Matt Locke. I watch Andy Griffin. I salute for you, sir. But you go to the pill of the box. Dan, take your ass to the pin of the box. Call me a liar. You tell him, Jiu. Back to you, Stu. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stoogads. I want to get to something that Zazlo told us before the show here. I don't understand this rash of strange dreams he's having. Two days ago, he dreamt that he was co-hosting a show with Janus. Look at Amin getting engaged. So now we want to do Dream Talk.

Amin? Look at how engaged Amin gets here. Amin the dream. He has a lot of dreams that are weird as well. But you've got another weird one. The first one was two days ago. You woke up. You were hosting a radio show with Janice Ante Ticumpo.

You were not sure why he was so weak on football. You had to cover for him as your co-host. He was only strong on basketball. What was your dream? I mean, you had not heard that that was Zaslo's dream? Yes, there was just, of all the dreams I thought that Zaz would have involving Janus, him doing a show with Janus where he was here and Janus was in Milwaukee and they were just doing ESPN radio, was not what I had on the list.

What was your dream last night? So I have very, you know, vivid dreams. remember them. And sometimes, you know, you'll have a, like, do you ever have a dream of me where you wake up finally in the morning and you're in a bad mood because of the dream? Yes. Yeah. So that happened to me today. All right. I woke up in a, like I was, I was, anxious and I was, I was sad in my heart. I was sad because my dream last night, my wife was, I was, I was, I was saying she was cheating on me. She was openly having an affair, all right?

I think that's cheating. That is cheating on you. No, but I say it like that because she was doing it right in front of me, you know? Like, I feel like cheating is like behind your back, you know. Like something you're into it almost like you're a cuck? Well, I was a cuckold, all right? I was. And I didn't appreciate being.

I don't, people know what thing about me? Yeah, people. Corner? If there's one thing people know about me, they know I don't ever want to be a cuckold. All right. And all the cuckold last night. So, she was having an affair, like, in front of it. Now, I left the room before anything started happening, but she was doing, no, because I wasn't into it.

I didn't like it. Fistakuffs. I didn't like it, all right? And so, I, it was very upsetting to me. Wait, I'll be back. Wait, oh, yeah, exactly. I'll kindly leave. I'll give you your privacy.

Like, I don't have to take this. Yes. Yeah, but I was sad. It was, it was making me very, very upset, all right? So, so I ended up waking up, like, very upset, you know? And I, and I, and that's- You're mad at her? Well, no, not mad. I was sad.

How do you do this to me? And so I told her this morning when I woke up. I don't ever tell her, you know, my dreams because why? Who the hell cares? But I had to tell her this morning because I'm in a sad mood. So I had to tell her about it. And, you know, she giggled a little bit. And then she asked me, who was she having an affair with?

Like, was it an actual person? That was my question. She was intrigued. And this part here, I was very embarrassed to tell her. Because it just. Wait, wait, wait, before you say, guys, let's go around the room. Now everyone nominate who would think Zaz's wife with

I was thinking Janice on the Gumpur Same I got to be in John Cena Tim Reynolds You'll never guess it It's so not even worth Going around the room Kendall Gil from the Nets

I'm like embarrassed to tell her I go no I can't tell you You won't even believe it It doesn't even make any sense So now she's like really intrigued You know now she's excited She's laughing I'm like it's so stupid

I mean I can't even tell you I'm embarrassed Say it. Anderson Cooper. Tom Barrasso. And she's making me tell her, you know. And finally, I'm just like, ah, F it. You know, I'll just tell her.

Billy Crystal. An 80-year-old Billy Crystal. I'm not leaving that room. I'm staying in there. I'm curious. It was so stupid. He starts doing show tunes in the middle of it. Honestly, you had laid out one of the few situations where I might be cool with it.

I'd be like, fist me, Billy. I mean, I was a cuckled, right, with Billy Crystal. Fist me? That is the appropriate response there. If you don't have any context for what it is that Mike was doing. Zazl, I have a number of follow-up questions. Who else is in the club? You're in the room.

You're in, what is it, is it your bedroom? It was a bedroom that had two different beds. I was in one bed. I love Lucy. And they were in the other bed. And before I left the room, like I took the sheets. I'm like, I'm not staying in this room. I went to another room.

So many questions. Two single beds? I don't know. Two master beds because that's how Billy Crystal does it. Two master beds or two single beds? I think they were definitely bigger than single. Like a queen, I'd say. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, but you don't recognize the room. I don't. Are they dressed? Are they dressed? I was like not looking. I didn't like it, you know. They were in the bed. Okay, so Billy Crystal's in the bed.

Is he wearing shoes, socks? Is it like how far? I wasn't looking. I was like, I don't like this. Is he doing his mind? Muhammad Ali impression? Or Sammy Davis, Jr. Talking about Joe DiMaggio and the Yankees.

It was mostly just my wife. She was like thrown in front of my face. And she knows, I don't, I don't ever want to be a cuckold. She knows that. How does she know that? You've told her that? Well, I mean, she just knows. You've got to cover all.

Everyone knows. You've got to cover all your bases. It's usually implied. Everyone knows that. If there's one thing that people know about Zaslo, it's that he doesn't want to be cuckold. Don't make me a cuckold. Top of the LinkedIn profile. It's true.

I was at NBA Cup and people were asking, how Zazzo. He's spot. But I was like, so is he still not a cuckold? Apparently not. You walk out of the room disgusted. I take the sheets. Leaving is a wild move. I took the sheets with me.

Well, he doesn't want to be a cuckold. If he leaves, he's not a cuckold, right? If he leaves. You say, hey, stop that. And, like, I felt, like, I was, I felt bad. I was, I was upset. Hold on, Dan. You said, if he leaves, he's not a cuckold, what if he has a glass to the door and he's eavesdropping?

No, no, no. Does that make him a cuckold? I didn't do that. Like, I wasn't deriving any kind of pleasure from it. I didn't like it. The opposite. You're the opposite of a cuck hole. As people say. When you shared that it was Billy Chrysle, how did that land?

I mean, she howled. With pleasure? No, with laughter and how stupid I am. How stupid is dreaming. And then she changed her iPhone password. My dream wasn't that wild. And then someone said, I'll have what she's having. I'll get to your dream in a second.

RIP. Just out of curiosity, because I still have questions. is it Billy Crystal now at 80? Yeah, she asked me that too, yes. No, Sadie's liquors. It was like Billy Crystal today. I had to forget Paris, Billy Crystal. No, it was today.

Forget Paris, Billy Crystal could lift anybody's chick. Harry Met Sally, Billy Crystal could too. No mama from the train. He had a run, didn't he? He had a run. What was the movie he did with Gregory Hines? I can't remember. Buddy cop movie, buddy cop movie.

No, that was the first one I thought. I thought that was his, I thought that was the first one that he did. I'm sorry, Zazco. I didn't like it. I woke up, I was very upset this morning. I'm sorry that all that happened to you. I mean, you're usually our resident, thank you, our resident leader in weird dreams, but Chris, you keep

wanting to tell us about your weird dream? Well, everyone's saying that they had weird dreams. The night of the before the Highlight Championship, last Friday we played, the night before I had a dream that Unda and I won a pickleball tournament. Unda's one of our great players and I was just like this has to be a good thing You didn't have to explain it, Dan knows

As a premonition I was like morning of the championship winning a pickleball tournament That can't be a bad thing I have to admit now When I went backstage before the game I looked into everybody's eyes And it was a universal truth

I just knew we were going to be battle court champs I just saw it in everybody's eyes There's no way we're losing I can see it Did you jump into Unda's arms What was the nature of your celebration? Kind of like the championship. Yes, I don't remember all of it.

I just remember being on a pickleball court and him and I like jumping in celebration. So, yeah. Two great body types. Oh, what a time. Amin, do you feel left out here as Chris and Zaslo give us some of their weird dreams? Have you had any weird dreams recently?

I sure did. Just two nights ago. I had a dream that I was part of an ownership group for an NBA team, but the main owner, the majority owner was like an Eastern European MMA fighter, like an older guy and so we were sitting I'm sitting on the right side of the bench and his court side seats are on the left side of the bench

and the opposing team throws the ball off of one of our guys and so the refs say it's their ball and the owner is his no is of them and then he starts demanding that the team review it's a good owner and he just keeps going and going and I'm like Jesus no but that's not you got to let the guy do his job and finally the head coach he throws a challenge flag whatever and calls the timeout

and he's frustrated and I could tell, man, I'm going to have a conversation with this guy because I got to let the owner know he can't do that. But in the moment, I was so embarrassed that I literally slunk away and went to the bathroom. And then, this is the part where the drink gets weird. I levitated. I levitated in the bathroom. So once I got to the bathroom, I did not touch the bathroom floor. I flew about eight feet high. That's nice. Then your shoes don't get dirty, like the laces don't touch your gone. It's awesome. Yes. So in front of people, you were a coward, but when you got to the bathroom, you had the superpower of being able to levitate. I can fly in my dreams. I have a lot of

dreams where I'm just, it always starts the same way. It's like, what if I jumped and then I didn't land? That's the secret of flying. Put it on the pole, please. Can you fly in your dreams? Because I cannot fly in my dreams. And I believe you're having, you're also having the precursor to the dream that wakes everybody up, which is if you can't fly, then you wake up before you hit the ground. You're, right? That's never happened. I've heard that. Yes, but that's never had a falling dream. I've had way more falling dreams than flying dreams. Flying all the time, dude.

Me too. Always levitating above people. What does that mean? It's always about eight feet high, too. It's not like in the sky like a bird. It's just like high enough where like I'm not going to hit anyone's head. I get up there. Low enough where people could, if they ran and jumped, they could touch my feet.

Trista's shaking her head because you're, you're thinking to yourself that's unusual that a mean would have. We're in agreement that levitating in your dreams is a little strange. Especially in this circumstance, it seemed as well that the owner, you gave him an accent of some sort. He was Eastern European. Eastern European MMA fighter. It feels like a front office PTSD from your time in the NBA. Absolutely. It's funny imagining, I mean, in the middle of the night, wake up out of sleep and get the writing.

This is what I was dreaming. And then I levitated. Okay, night, night. Well, you got to write it down, dude. Otherwise, you're going to forget. I mean, if you wake up in the middle of the night, can you then re-examination? enter the dream when you fall back asleep. That's, it can happen.

Because I could do that. I've done it before. You can't do everything. You can't do that. I try to lock in like Inception. In my experience, when you try to do it, you don't do it. No, I could do it. I've re-entered dreams before, but it's a rare thing.

That's a power of mine. I could do that. How much waking up are you doing? Are you just opening your eyes or are you going to the bathroom coming back and just open to my eyes rolling over? Yeah, now that, for sure I do. But like, the getting up and going to the bathroom and coming back, very rarely. Very rarely

I didn't know anybody. Can you put that on the poll at Lebitard show? Can you go back to your dream after you have awoken? But this is good dream analysis from Trista here. She's saying you have post front office trauma that as soon as you get away from where the power and the responsibility is, if you could soar freely in the bathroom,

you levitate. That if unshackled from front office yellers and screamers, all of a sudden a free amine is in the bathroom floating eight feet above the earth. I think it's actually just that, because I levitate a lot in my dreams, I think it's like the worst cameo. It just makes an appearance in every dream.

So the dream is about post-traumatic stress disorder kind of reaction of like having to explain to people why the people, the guy in charge is an idiot and we just got to kind of work around it. That absolutely is a recurring nightmare. But then it's like also, and also featuring, I mean, flying. It's like, hey, guys, remember me. What's to the audience has applauding. What's funny about this as just a career analysis of the insides of your strange mind is that you care so much and obsessed so much over loving of basketball and your nightmares are a bunch of people at Phoenix or in your actual sleep coming in and getting in the way of you truly being able to be great. Dan, this is the funniest part.

You want to talk about me caring about basketball. I did not mention this the other day. I went to Jason Jackson's annual Christmas charity thing, Santa Jackson, right? Exactly, right. And it was a lovely event and it raised a lot of money. And there was karaoke afterward, yes. But like the main event where all the people show up and one of the people, I mean like luminaries from the local sports teams or whatever.

And I got into a very deep conversation several times over several different people who worked for the heat where I became emotional talking about basketball, like emotional like lump in my throat emotional. I mean, I'm unsurprised by that because just when, and it's, It's actually quite quaint that when you get most excited about basketball, you were starting to talk about 10 toes to the floor. You were saying it was the shock of your life. You were not speaking with any perspective because you had come back from Vegas and your sport feeling alive again to you when a lot of people have been criticizing it for a couple of years, including Mike Ryan, who hasn't necessarily even been watching. And then you come in here and you get emotionally defensive protecting your sport. I think you care about it unreasonably.

What makes it unreasonable? I think it's very reasonable. We just detailed his background, and he likes it. It's very reasonable to have a deep passion for it. Anybody that has a passion about anything can identify with that. To dream about it and then levitate is reasonable? I mean, that's a different. Like I said, man, that's a caveat appearance.

It's like, you know. It's a recurring character. Could there be a correlation between going to sleep hammered and levitating? How often do you go to sleep hammered? I would have to go to sleep not hammered in order to find out. We don't have enough data points. It's a love of alcohol, not basketball. The flying part is.

I go with the ante. Any of you fly in your dreams? I've not, I don't ever run fast like the Hulk. I can run real fast and hop. And then I'm falling every time I'm like, ooh, I was good. I've had dreams where I'm falling all of a sudden and I'm like, I better wake up because this is not going to end well. That sounds clumsy. I don't have a common thread.

Every dream is a new adventure. Really? Yeah. You don't have reruns? No repeat. Dude, when I was like eight years old, I had the same dream, like, every night, and it always ended with me flying. Like, it was a witch was trying to boil me, and I was tied up in the corner, and then I, like, wriggled free, and then I would literally get out of there and fly, and I'd land at school. I'm like, oh, this is great.

I know how to get home from here. I had that dream, like, a hundred times when I was, like, eight. You levitate so much in your dreams that while you're levitating in your dream, you're totally unsurprised by it because you're like, this is what I always do. too, which who I am. Not only am I not surprised. Not only am I not surprised. Sometimes, Dad, I'm like, holy shit, maybe this one isn't the dream. Maybe it's finally happening.

It's been a premonition this whole time. Because sometimes they feel, you know, dreams sometimes feel very real and very visceral. I know. I would like this morning for me. And so all of these very real, very plausible things are happening to you. They're like, oh my God, like, okay, this is real. And then I'm flying. I'm like, wait a second.

I can't fly. I'm like, or maybe I can because this isn't a dream. This is reality. And then I wake up. This is delusion of grandeur at its greatest scale that, I mean, in his heart of hearts, in his soul, believes that he should be capable of levitating. But try hard enough. Well, I got to do jump and then not land. But symbolically, I believe, given that it's a dream about what he literally cares about the most, it's what he thinks he could do if he ran a franchise.

He could be Oklahoma City. He could be, yes, he could be floating above earth with the best team if it just wasn't for that damn. Eastern European owner who for some reason threw a challenge flag from a different sport to contest at all. You must challenge. He just kept yelling and he's huge because he's a former M.M.A. fighter. So it's like there's a double fear.

It's not just he's rich and he could fire us. He could also whoop all our asses. But he was also dumb, correct? Yes, of course. But he's incompetent and you're better at your job than he is and he's holding you back. And I felt for the coach. The coach was so frustrated, pissed off.

But I'm like, just don't. I'll handle it, don't worry, and then I went to the bathroom. Who is the coach that you felt the worst for in your career? In real life? Yeah. Wow, that's a great question. I don't know if we have enough time. Speaking of dreams and crying and emotional about basketball,

I did have that moment as well when Alicia Gray from the Atlanta Dream won a three-point contest and the skills contest. I shed one. There you have it. What's the verb? Shed. I think it's a ghetto. Ghetto. Woman of faith.