The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Zaslow Makes The List

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

"Do you know what happens to people who don't know about Patrick Dempsey in the 1995 Movie Outbreak?" Zaslow has found himself in a controversy so severe that he may end up out of work. Speaking of... where is Ryan Tannehill? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is the Dan Levitars show with the Stucats podcast. The finals for the Nuddiest fan is brought to you by Hampton Farms. Get Nuddy with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. Vote now at Levitart Show on Instagram. One winner will be crowned at the end of the week as the 2025 Nuttiest fan. We got a bunch of good nominees, a bunch of finalists. Pippo is in there. We got the old shirtless guy from Indiana.

We got the guy with the sign that said Pan corn pinga And we got some Florida fan from off-road And we got a bunch of finalists Go to our social media At Lebitard show on Instagram Vote And we will announce the winner

I said vote I was cooking there Vote Vote and we will announce the winner At the end of the week Burnt that food man How you feel about my performance today so far Oof, buddy

I took some notes Post show meetings Gonna be rough for me It was that sequence Forward to this There was a sequence there. You interrupted Dan, not once but twice in a matter of four seconds. It was really bad.

So much so that you were like, okay, go. Like, I wish we got a video of you at the end of that talking over. You were just like, okay. Yeah, yeah. It was the equivalent of the Jalen Hertz play last night. Like, you threw the pick, and then you got it back, but then you fumbled it again, and then they were going the other way. You know what happens to people who interrupt Dan twice?

No, come on. You know what happens? You don't want to know. Come on. You don't want to know. No. You just made the list. No!

Kyle Schwarber has signed a five-year, $150 million contract to remain a Philadelphia Philly. Mike is literally yawning. That's how bad that did. He has also been named to Team USA with. With Bryce to ring. All right. Thank you, Vecna.

Yeah, I don't know if you saw this. Or you should know this about me. All right. If there's one thing you know about me, you know, I'm a huge movie guy. I know movies. You see yesterday, Rock, nominated Golden Globe, best actor. For the smashing machine or whatever it's called? What else would it have been for?

I don't know. Hobbs and Shaw? You go rock, huh? Yeah, rock. The rock. Rock. The Rock. No, it's not Dwayne Rock Johnson. It's Dwayne the Rock Johnson. When you say Rock, I think of Charles. Charles is Dutton.

That's a fair point. That's a fair point. But when he was wrestling, he was Rock. No. He's the Rock. He's the Rockie. Rocky. What? The Rock. He doesn't go by Dwayne Rock Johnson. Hold on. Are we finding out that not only you're not a movie guy. You're not a wrestling guy either? Wow. You've been a sucker this whole time? Yo, that's Rock. I call him Rock. I don't care. Please turn in your large Roman Rains t-shirt. Okay, don't you ever tell me about turning in any of my wrestling gear

because, out of all of us here, only one of us is going to John Cena's last match this weekend as this guy right here. Oh, did you sell the stocks and bonds from 40 years ago? Well, not have to sell them, I got to cash them in, but I have them. And yes, all I got to do is actually make my way to the bank, and your boy is swimming in money. That does feel good. To be able to cash something that immediately pays for a trip? Oh, dude, I cashed all those Miami to make CFP, Notre Dame, no CFP futures.

Oh, my God, immediately. So good. I don't have to wait for this to transfer or whatever. Nope, give my money right now. That's what I'm going to say to the teller behind the glass. Like, you know, how do you want it? Give me my money right now. It's behind the glass, huh?

Yeah, you know, you got to go up to the bank teller. I go to a fancy bank. There's no glass because they can trust me. That's the kind of way I bank. It sounds like you go to a sucker bank. It probably gets robbed. The sucker bank is the one where they can't trust you. They're like, you'll put up some glass.

Payday loan place? What are you doing? I go one of them safe banks where they don't want to get robbed. That's where I go. Sounds like they get robbed a lot. That's why they got the class. Whatever, man. Rock, Rock was nominated for Golden Globe.

He's got, I didn't see, you know, I didn't see Smash Machine. I got to see this. I didn't see it yet. I know. You're a big movie guy. I'm surprised you haven't seen it. I didn't see it, though. I didn't see it.

I don't trust you. I don't trust you. What would I have to do to earn your trust? Watch some movies. Well, you know, I'm in the middle of Quantum of Solis right now. I started watching the James Bond movies. What do you think? Well, yeah, I think it's good, but I've been told that quantum of solace is the weakest.

That's the best title, though. Quantum of Salas? Casino Roy, I was good. Yeah. I'm in the middle of Quantum of Salas. What's the next one called? Specter. Yeah, Spector.

Okay, I'm looking forward to that, too. So I'm making my way. What was that, Tony? Yeah, Spector. What are you doing? You just got here? You're going to do that from that corner? Don't you should.

Don't you dare. You should do it to Chris. You should know that. Do it to Chris. Come on the list. Wow. Jazz, I want to play a game with you. Oh, I love games.

I'm great at games. Yo, you've seen that movie? Yeah, I'm good at that game. Let's do it. Do we have some, like, movie music? Can we get some fun movie music here? Yeah, come on. Let's go.

It means ready for me. You got to give him a second. You know what happens to people that don't give Roy a second. You know what happens to people that don't give Roy a second. to Phil? Yo, don't do that, man. Two times? Don't do that.

I'm only there once. Been written up. Yo, you've seen that movie is brought to you by Cinephobe. The podcast where we watch movies that are poorly rated or rotten tomatoes and try to ascertain with their accruiter. Maybe they get a fair to shake.

Cinephope, wherever we get podcasts. Produced by Anthony Mays. We're going to start with this is a sawball for some people. For other people, though. Might be off the beaten path as we continue to filibuster. Keep filibustering.

You know, this is going to be some of her. Perfect movie. By the way, I'll tell you what. This week on Cidipode, we got Rush Hour 3 coming out. You seen Rush Hour 3, but I've never seen any rush hour. We haven't played that game yet. Oh, well. Whatever.

All right. Well, we're up to that start. Well, no, this wasn't the game. I volunteered that information. It's not part of the game, Tony. Making conversation, Tony. I'm just making conversation. Freddie Kruger has chimed in there.

I can't believe how long it's taken to get movie music. I know. Me neither. You know what happens when it takes this long? Oh, no. Some royalty-free music, Roy? You know what happens? Don't do it, Mike.

A computer. Let's buffering. Roy just me. Oh. Damn it, man. I also found out that Kelsey Grammer's daughters are both actors. Spencer Grammar and Greer Grammar. Do you guys know that?

Greer Grammar? Greer Grammar. They didn't really think that one out. I think he's trying to wave you off there. Freddie Krueger. Good try, though. Try Vecna. All right, Vecna, that's enough, thanks. Is it Vecna or Jekna?

Vecna. Okay. I thought it was Jekna. I think they were doing a play on words. Because he's Jeremy? Yeah. Would Dong first be ready better than Hogg first? I think Dong again is a little...

Same group. A little crude. A little crude. Dong and Hogg are in the same boat, maybe. No. How about Schlong? Shlong is... Walking past someone,

hog first while putting your hands on their shoulders. I don't even know what I would do if they don't get up. If someone put their hands on my shoulders walking past me. You guys keep ignoring the pivotal piece of information, which is I'm trying to walk through this aisle and you're not getting up. How are you not more upset about that? You guys are like, oh, I can't believe you'd do that. Like, I can't believe this person wouldn't get up. Yes. I, okay, but part of it also is I don't like the idea of my hog being right in front of this random dude's face. No one said it was a dude. but also stranger through a stranger's face.

Neither do I. But I have to be prepared. They struck first blood, though, which is what I mean saying. They struck first blood, so he has to retaliate even more. Have you seen first blood? I've not seen first blood. I'm not even playing the game. It's on my list, though.

You know that. All right. But you can go back first and you cropped us them on your way out. No, no. You know what? There's just too much pressure on that situation. What if it doesn't come? What if it comes?

What if it gives it too much? That's called gamble fart. You know about that gamble fart? Yeah, I do. I don't like that gamble fart. You like that gamble fart? No, but it's, I mean, it's gamble fart. It's the way it goes.

What if you're going in front of a pickpocket? You got your wallet in your back pocket. You're going butt first. All of a sudden, wah, they take your... I would never get pickpocketed. I keep my wallet in my front. I would never get pickpocketed. All right, it's time to play.

Yo, you know that movie? Wait, did I fill enough for Roy? You got one finally? Go ahead. Write his name done again. This is Edda James? What is this? Fake at last.

Zaz? Yeah. You know about that paid in full? No. Never seen paid in full. I don't even know that I've heard of that. Paid in full? You've never heard of paid in full.

Who's in that? Mackay Fifer, Cameron, Wood Harris. Man, I didn't see a movie. I don't like this music whatsoever. Three times for Debroy? That's a third time on the list.

Five minutes to get this one right. God damn it, man. Three-timer. Just like. Tyrese Maxie on the MVP of the day list. Zaz, I've been coughing. A lot of people think it might be contagious. Yeah, I'm a little worried about that.

Have you ever seen the movie Outbreak? Of course. Who's in it? Michael Rappaport. That's not the first name. It is. He's like Patient Zero. That is the first person I think of.

We don't say his name around here, Zaz. Is that the one they showed in health class? I feel like I watched Outbreak. Was that one with the monkey got the disease? Renet Rousseau. He's patient zero. Dustin. I think I watched that in high school.

My dad showed my kids outbreak during the pandemic. And I was like, what are you doing? Good parenting. What are you doing? Outbreak is a good movie. Relevant. All right. So, okay, so you're one for two.

Okay. Haven't seen paid in full, but you have seen outbreak. What about collateral damage? Yes. Who's in it? Arnold Schwarzenegger. What's the purpose? It has to do with, like, war and, you know, someone dies as collateral damage.

Oh, here we go. Yeah, that's, that's, welcome to the movie. We have clocked that at six and a half minutes. We finally got there, everybody. I think they kidnap his daughter. Nah, you ain't seen that movie. I have seen it. No, you're, you're doing the thing.

Has he said one thing right yet? Commando. I don't know what he's talking about. I don't know he's 25 years old. Why don't I remember the plot of Random Arnold Schwarzenegger movie? I've seen it. End of days. Of course I've seen that.

They kidnap his daughter in true lies. That is true. That is true. No, the daughter's on top of the airplane. Remember, she's hanging over like the Scott, yeah, at the end, he's holding her up, Eliza Dushku. You know about that, Eliza Dushkew? Really young, Eliza Dush, coo. Well, now you made a creeper.

Bring it on. Is she in that? Yep. And Chris would know, I guess. See, I think of Gabby Union. I think I'll bring it on. I think I've heard him. Have you seen Step Up?

Of course. Who's in that? It's like the, you know, the dancing. It's the dancing. Yeah. Yeah. Channing Tatum. Channing Tatum isn't.

I think it's his first movie. Ever since I saw Bring It On, I've always wanted to flirt with someone while brushing my teeth. Yeah? You know, like, Kirsten Dunst and the guy, Elijah Duceke's brother. How does it get cold in here if there's shamrocks in the atmosphere? Speaking of Kristen Dunst, interview with the vampire. Yep, that's right. Who's in it?

Brad Pitt Tom Cruz Of course I've seen We have to do so in here Because I like the movie Outbreak And Michael Rappaport's appearance In that movie

Would ruin that movie for him So I would have thought I remembered that And Jekna looked it up He was not in that movie Okay you're wrong Because he 1,000% was He's patient to your own I was fed something in my ear

Yeah you're wrong And the person who fed it to you In your ear is also wrong I thought it was the dude from the TLC video. Okay, but it's not. All right, hold on. We gotta get to the bottom of this.

Yep. Is he in the movie or is he not the movie? I'm on top of it. You can get to the bottom, but I'm on top of it. I literally can't see. I cannot look up anything for you. He's patient zero. Zaz.

Have you seen American gangster? Yes. He had COVID in 2020. That's close enough to the outbreak. Yeah, but I don't think he's in the movie. Yo, you play me for a sucker. I don't like it.

He's not in the movie. Yes, I have seen the movie you just said. What movie was that? American Gangster. Okay. Denzel Washington. He shoots Stringo Bell right in the street in front of everybody. Why?

Because how much does he want? Well, he wanted his money. I know, but how much of a percent? I don't remember that. Let's... Let's update or let's upgrade the difficulty here. Zaz. All right, come on.

In 2006, there were two movies. Two really well-regarded movies. that had the same premise about magicians. What were the two movies? I thought you were going to go with the Deep Impact Armageddon, but that was before 2006. Okay, say it again to me. In 2006, there were two movies that were very well regarded

that had the same premise about magicians. Can you name the two movies? Was The Prestige back in 06? The Prestige is one of those movies. What was the other one? About magicians? I don't know if I know the other one. The answer we were looking for.

The illusionist. Who's in that? Ed Norton. I don't know if I've seen that. I've got to be honest. We can tell. Michael Rappaport is not in the 1995 film outbreak. He 1,000% is.

Do you understand what a thousand? percent is. A thousand percent would show up in the end. Oh yeah? Look it up. You look it up on the IMDB. See if Michael Rappaport is in the 1995 film. Let's bet. IMDB, then you win. Let's bet. Yes, let us bet. Let's bet. Put his name back down. Guess who's no longer going to see John Cena? As if you ever could. Guess who's going to be wrong in front of everybody? His name's Mike Ryan. Do you know what happens? Do you know what happened? Do you know what happened? This time? Do you know what happens?

Oh, no. To people who hijacked the show with an incorrect take about Michael Rappaport being in the 1990 film, 1995 film outbreak. Do you know what happens? I know what happens when they're right, and that's me. Do you know what happens when they're wrong? Now, I am finding this very weird, where AI on Google is saying Michael Rappaport isn't in the famous 1995 outbreak movie, but I'm still going to go with he was in it. Also, you don't understand how Patient Zero's work because Patient Zero was the monkey. But he was with the monkey.

Patient Zero is who the cure comes from. Came from the monkey. This seems like it could be a Bernstein Bears situation. Daz, I'm going to end it with this one. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills right now. He was definitely in the movie. In the movie Terminator 2. the T-1000

disguises itself as a police officer And it is looking for young John Connor That's right That's really good Who is the person That the police officer Terminator asks Who ultimately misleads him The friend in the arcade

The friend Yeah, the redhead Who's a friend? I'm supposed to know that stupid kid's name the Redhead? Can we show him on the screen? There he is. Oh, that kid was in everything.

Young Jonathan Zaslow. Yeah, it looks like you. That's the kid from Big. It is. He had long hair and intermate. You're wrong here. You dumb ass. You dumbass.

All right. The person, the character name in the movie Outbreak that got sick from the monkey initially, the white man. Yeah. Jimbo Scott. You know who played Jimbo Scott? in the 1995 film Outbreak? Michael Rapport. No. Patrick Dempsey.

How could you get those two confused? How? I think you're wrong. Rappaport's very happy about that. I don't believe you. I think you're wrong. Michael Rapport was in outbreak and he had the monkey and he got really sick. He was not. He just told you who played the character. It was McDreamy

from Gray's Anatomy. You don't, nobody needs to explain who McDreamy is. Everybody knows who McDreamy is. I think I don't know. He also was not an outbrow. I didn't know what you're doing, and I'm not going to say it over the air because I happen to know he's a bit litigious,

but I think you're doing a sores thing. Okay, you're the one who said that, and not me. And right now, I'm looking on Google. I looked up... Look at the screen. Is that the guy you thought was Rappendiport? I looked up McDreamy Outbreak, and I will say,

it looks like some really good Photoshop of McDreamy and Outbreak. We have a photo. a still of patient zero. Is that who you thought was Rappaport? 195, Phil Maltbreak. It's Patrick Dempsey. You owe more than an apology.

You owe money. Who do I own an apology to you? You said you wanted to bet money. Okay, I want to know what pandemic movie Michael Rapport was in with a monkey. You're moving the goalposts. Your name is Hunter Eurocheck right now. You owe the biggest apology to Patrick Dempsey.

Number one. Number two, our audience. Number three, me. Who called, I sniffed it out right away. I was like, no, no, no, this is, this is. I was definitely right. I like this movie. It can't possibly be a movie I like if Michael Rappaport is in it.

You never seen beautiful girls? That's a good movie. No, I haven't. What about higher learning? There is actually a Tarantino film. True Romance. Yes. Well, he wrote it.

He didn't direct. Deep Lucy. Yeah, he wrote it. And because of his... Tony Scott directed it. it because I, unlike you, no cinema. How did Tony Scott die? Jumped off a bridge.

No, I'm asking him. Jumped off a bridge. Yep, that's right. Do you know who Tony Scott's brother is? I can confirm Ridley Scott. I'm a movie guy. It's actually Byron Scott. A little known fact.

That's why I was at all those Laker games. Why do you think they were called Showtime? Scott family. Are you sure about Michael Rapport an outbreak? 100%. You've made the list five times. Five timers club. I'm out the hook now.

Now, you're still not up the hook. Which is almost as long in minutes as it took Roy to find commercial-free music. God damn it. Can we talk about how banks are still acting like it's 1994, fees on fees on fees. Overdraft fees, monthly fees, probably a breathing near the ATM fee coming soon. Which is why chime feels like someone finally flipped the script. Fee-free, smarter banking that's actually built for you. The person trying to make it through life, not the billionaire who keeps a yacht in every time.

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Limited time offer. Don Liebertard. John, can you rate my Al Pacino from that billiard scene in Carlito's way if I do it for you? I think it's pretty good. Yeah. Stugats. You think you're big time? But you're going to die.

Big time. That is my infamous. scale of one to ten that's a that's a 7.6 solid good job down good job that's a suey nominee right there this is the Dan lebatar show with these two gods so earlier in the show we're talking about Philip Rivers all right Philip Rivers who apparently worked out on Monday night with the Indianapolis Colts. But I don't think we brought up the most interesting part of this Philip Rivers potentially joining again the Indianapolis Colts.

And that is, next year, Philip Rivers is eligible for the Hall of Fame. Now, whether or not you believe he's a Hall of Fame or not, at worst, he's a borderline case, all right? Next year, he's eligible for the Hall of Fame. He's going to start the clock back five years. to play in a couple of games with the Indianapolis Colts? That seems crazy to me. Maybe he doesn't like his chances.

So he's like, hey, I'll just prolong this five more years. I'll restart the clock. People will forget that I'm not a Hallfamer. You got the wrong angle here. Indianapolis can make the playoffs. He's looking to add to that resume. I took it a different way. I took it the way Dan took it earlier,

which is he must really hate his family. Do anything. It's like Rocky and Rocky Four. He's like, oh, I got to go fight in Russia. Everyone's like, why are you doing that? I was like, because Adrian is on my ass every single day. And that child. Can't win!

You've seen him. You know how strong he is? You go anywhere. When you're sick and tired of all the noise at home, you'll go anywhere. Even Russia on Christmas Day. It is a crazy concept. Like, here's the thing. I'm going to fight in Russia on Christmas.

He's like, wait, what? Family Day. Where's the fight going to be rock? Russia. We are about to find out exactly how much goodwill Carly Ursae Gordon has bought by simply not being her dad because this is a Jim Ursay ass move if I've ever seen one. Why do you say that? The guy that hired Jeff Saturday from television? Television's Jeff Saturday as head coach? Okay, but they feel that. They feel

Philip Rivers has a better chance of winning a game than Riley Leonard. Zaz. Philip Rivers hasn't thrown a pass in the NFL in five years. he is 44 years old I come there must be there has to be the last time he took a snap was COVID there has to be a better option

where is Dana Hill this is his moment he's like I want to wait on the couch until there's a playoff contending team well here it is Taney where are you there was a Philip Rivers I got one more in me window and that window closed after Brock Purdy got hurt the first

time remember that storyline that Kyle Shanahan would have brought in Philip Rivers to start in the Super Bowl had they make it. To me, that was a very end of the, I got one more in me, Philip Rivers' storyline. We are now two and a half years since that window closed.

What do you think he's been doing? He's coaching. I know he's been coaching. Coaching what? Coaching and banging. High school? He's been coaching and banging. I know those two things, for sure.

Yeah, didn't he just have another one? I just, you know what I just saw the other day? You guys remember, obviously Mike Glennon, who has a very special relationship with this. show. Mike Lennon's in real estate now. Good for him. Yeah. Justin Tuck works for Goldman Sachs. Yep. Good for him. There's a lot of NFL

players who like have regular ass jobs post-retirement. That's kind of shocking to me. You figure you make a lot of money. You don't have to work you know, for the man in nine to five. And Justin Tuck's like going to the office like, all right guys, what do we got today? And they're like, oh, shit. You know what that sounds like? Better than dealing with what's at home.

I just don't understand how Oh, no. Or I don't, you should know. Eich. You don't like that. I'm fine. I'm fine, no. That one's for coming in sick.

I'm not sick. I could think of a quarterback who's skill set fits closer to what Daniel Jones does. Go on. How about Colin Kaepernick? You know, Breiton's right. I wish I didn't say. I was actually thinking about this last night. Because Philip Rivers is a name and from an era in which we would always spout out the cliche, like, what does Colin Kaepernick have to do to receive a phone call?

And when Philip Rivers came around, it's the first time I've thought about Colin Kaepernick in a good year and a half. And my initial reaction to Philip Rivers getting a call was, what does Colin Kaepernick have to do to receive a phone call? That's how you know this is well past the expiration date. They really waited it out. It is pretty incredible. He just waited it out. He burned up a lot of goodwill with whatever circus went around those tryouts. Pablo needs to find out about what happened because the league orchestrated all these tryouts.

They wanted Colin Kaepernick to sign. There was a lot of momentum for him to sign with the team there. And the general feeling is like maybe he didn't want it as bad. Maybe it was better for him to be a martyr because and the league was put in a position where they couldn't come out and reveal really what happened there. but it was kind of a circus. Yeah, let's defend the league. So...

Wait a second. Hold on. That was... What was that, Vecna? Vecna's not supposed to laugh. I have a great Zagaki. Did you guys see after the game last night? So the Eagles lost what their third in a row, I think it was? Eagles lost their third in a row last night.

Cowboys still in the mix of that division. I like it. Still in the hunt. But the Chargers, so the Chargers got a huge win last night in a game that they turned the ball over five times. Justin Herbert was not good last night. Justin Herbert barely threw for over 100 yards. He was under 50% for the game. He was very bad last night.

He got sacked seven times. He's playing hurt, a little bit tough. After the game, did you guys see after the game when Laura Rutledge, you know, she does the on-field interview for Monday Night Football? I mean, did you see this where, you know, she's going to track down the star player right after the game? So Laura Rutledge, she tracks down Justin Herbert after the game. Okay. She wants to have a word. And Herbert, if we have the video here, Herbert was, you know, not really interested.

Yeah, I'm trying to celebrate with my team. No, I know, but can we just talk to you really fast? What was it like to watch the interception there that sealed this game for you guys to get this win? Yeah, the defense played incredible. He wasn't really into it. I just want to celebrate with my team. I feel like that has to happen a lot. We just don't see that part of the interview.

Is this his first time? But this is like, this is not that crazy. I bet this happens all the time. We just usually see it after. No, you're right. I mean, you're right. For some reason, they're rolling before the interview starts. Maybe, maybe, but also.

Well, Laura probably said, okay, I'm ready. But also, is this your first time? Do you not know how this works? It's a quarterback on Monday Night Football. You won the game. They interview, they give you two softball of all softball questions. And you keep him, he acted. like this is going to end by the time because all you guys I'm ready like oh we already did the

celebration bro and he was short too like she was like how you feel in your injury your hand he's like I feel fine and what happens on the field there celebrating my team are it is confetti about to rain down for a Monday football victory on the field grow up you know what you're nine and five like yeah grow up championship and by the way if I could just educate you know people out there who don't know the way this works no you know but I'll just get people don't know how this works Laura Rutledge doesn't just run around and grab a player after the game this is coordinated The PR director literally says to her, okay, Justin's ready to go. And then she starts asking him questions.

It goes beyond that before the end of the game, because the game is in question. We don't know. Both PR directors have handed her a list of names. Sometimes it's one name, sometimes it's a couple of names. She picks, if it's you guys, then I'll talk to Justin. If it's the other guys, I'll talk to whoever. I'll talk to Jalen Hertz. Boom.

The PR directors know, as soon as the game is over, they are informing their play. Hey, you got to do this one, two quick questions with ESPN. The idea that he's like, you know what he reminds me up? It's been like six years. You know what he reminds me up? Wait, there's my camera. He reminds me of people sitting at a game when you're trying to walk out the aisle and they won't stand up. This is your first time doing this?

You know what Laura Rutler should have done? She should have walked past him. Hug first. Hug first. Teach him a lesson. I'm trying to go celebrate with my teammates What a loser-ass sentiment Well, I'm trying to celebrate with my teammates

Shut up Do you think he walked out into that locker room afterwards? What I'm in? Everybody's like, yo. It was crazy! You missed it. We had dwarves and acrobats and trapeze artists and balloons All that happened.

You could say dwarf. You can't say the other word that Mike said I'm very disappointed in here. I didn't say anything. You said the other word. The other guy's out of control. You said. You said a lot of stuff.

You know what? Give me a pen. What other stuff? Give me a pen. I said, Oh, no. He writes down stuff. Oh, no.

I said how you do a certain polar kiss. Eskimo kiss? Whatever. Come on, man. You can't say that one. Inuit kiss is how we say it now. Twig and berries first. Does that work?

Polar kiss. The berries not so much. It really is the twig that's doing the work there. But that's how he was acting. What do they call it Polar Beer? It's, you know, it's Venezuelan. It was weird. That was weird.

Don Lebertard. John's as low. How you love that catchphrase. Bad news for opposing teams in the triple air. Stugats. He's all smiles. Till the brides are Clutch again, clutch again, clutch again, clutch again. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats.

I feel like some listeners have been wondering. I've certainly gotten these messages too. I've even had friends text me. What about Landman? Yo, stop. Stop tweeting at me. Stop texting me. Landman. Do you know about the Landman? Like, no, I don't know about Landman. And there's

literally, any time this Landman does something, I know every movie makes, all right? Stop tweeting at me about Landman. I'll give a shit about this guy, right? And you could tell the Rams, too, I don't give a shit about Landman. Whatever, all right? Gunner Henderson has been added to Team USA. He did that one already back then. All Sandy Alcantara has been named to the Dominican Republic. So I have been getting messages, though, from listeners who want to drink Jessica Smetana's tears. And they're upset that we haven't spoken to Jess yet.

Guys, I love people who are huge fans of the show and they love these characters. And failed to pick up on the simple rhythms of she appears every Wednesday, guys. Guest booking. She's on every. on Mondays. I'm here every Monday. That's when the segment is. So tomorrow, we're going to drink her tears. Of course. You guys actually have

us drinking her tears. Do you know this is the ultimate play of like, oh, I don't care. You think she's going to give us her tears? She won't give anyone. Has anyone spoken to her yet? I have not. She doesn't want to hear from me. Come on. She doesn't want to hear like, hey, you guys got screwed by

SEC and Alabama. She doesn't want to hear that from me. I will be listening to her Echoes interview with Pete of aqua though. Oh. Did they book it? Yeah, I've been searching that feed all damn week. Can I also say something? You don't know that she got him. You're expecting. No, no, no. They're promoted. They're promoted. Yeah, yeah. They got people of aqua. The steel looks like something really bad happened. Like, it's just three faces all sad. Yeah. I've been waiting for this one. I want to, I do want to be self-critical, if we may. Go on. Earlier today, with great excitement

and exuberance, we played a clip from a Notre Dame live podcast of them live reacting. It was awesome. I didn't know. I knew we had a clip. I knew, oh, these guys, right when the announcement happened, their reaction were like, cool.

As soon as it came up on the screen before we even hit play, I'm looking at it, I'm like, is that a dorm room? Are these children? Are we laughing at children here? Look at this. We thought it's on the screen. These are kids, man.

The one in the bottom with the flag behind them, he's got acne he sounds like fernando mendoza yeah he does he's like morty yeah but they have like a like a show that's not a show we should be like i don't want i don't know if you're streaming a reaction like you're asking for it what do you mean it's man happy they are we're playing this

these children are asking for it are you shitting me geez rick I don't know Rick Are you the friend to mean? Are you the friend to mean? Are you the friend? Former Mets closer Edwin Diaz has signed a three-year $69 million deal with the Los Angeles dog.

Oh, no more Timmy Trumpets then? No! No! No! They got another one. They got all the money in the world. Now, I mean, are you the type of friend because, speaking of Jessica coming on the show tomorrow and drinking her tears? Oh, my God.

Are you? Oh, yeah. Here's a promotional evidence. Look at how. They all did the Charles Barkley. We need to start a dialogue phase. When you're doing the Charles Barkley, we need to start a dialogue phase. That's enough for me.

Gojo. Gojo is the one we need to focus on because I know this space very well. This is Gojo. He has to predetermined I have to look serious. I know that look. He doesn't know how to look serious. There's a tinge of a smirk, too.

You don't think they took a previous photo. Like, he actually posed for this. Yes, absolutely. I know Mike Golick Jr. very well. That's not someone who can be serious on call. It's like this is what we're going to use for promotional materials for your sit-down with Pete Vivacua. Yes, so, so Gojo, here we go.

You need to be serious in this one. It's like, okay, hold on. And this is probably the fourth or fifth take. That's not like the first. You don't think you can get it right on the first time? I think this is a screen cap, and that's just the tenor of the conversation the entire time. If you listen to anything Jess does and you go there for tears, it's not going to happen. But this, again, this image is enough for me.

There is a sadness in her eyes right here. Well, it's a rough two years for her. Last year they get to the national championship they lose, and now this year they get, you know, if you want to say snubbed or whatever. It's a rough couple of years. Pete Bavakwa, enough of this guy. First off, ridiculous name. Number two. I get why they're sending him out.

Number two. He just gives off personality. Why are we letting him change this narrative? They're not upset about the ACC thing. It's just like a sprinkle on the crap-covered cupcake of what happened to them. They are all mad about being jerked around with the process at the CFP. which I get because Miami should have never been behind them. And they're mad that Greg Sankey's Alabama got in ahead of them.

And Pete Bovacqua doesn't have the stones to go at Greg Sankey because, number one, he aspires to have the power that Greg Sankey has. And number two, Greg Sankey actually controls the entire CFP. So instead, he looks over to Jim Phillips, who many have called the cuck. And he sees an easy mark. This is like the scene from Hollywood Shuffle, which I know Zaz has absolutely seen that movie. He is just punching down on Jim Phillips because he can. And if he wants to echo the virtues of a good partner, he is the exact example of a bad partner.

They have actually led their fan base to believe that the ACC was saved by Notre Dame in the COVID season of 2020. thinking that the ACC wasn't going to play football unless Notre Dame decided to join the conference temporarily. Go take your Olympic sports, go take your non-revenue sports elsewhere if you think you mean that much. Believe me, if I actually believe Notre Dame could destroy the ACC, I'd be rooting them on from the CFP, but they can't. They got no moves.

You know why they're so pissed at USC for breaking that rivalry? Go on. Because USC figured this whole scam out. We don't need you. you to get into the CFP, you need us. Mike, let me ask you a question. Obviously, we have that memorandum of understanding that kicks in next year that says that if they're in the top 12, they're guaranteed in the CFP.

Now, you said something early in the show that kind of went under the radar. I still don't understand why that's a thing. Well, that's why he's not going at Greg Sankey, because presently it is a thing. And you know who can make that thing disappear? Greg Sankey. But Mike, something you said early in the show was that he wasn't even the guy that negotiated that. Yeah, I don't think so.

I think they had a different AD. So you really are a clown, Mr. Bavakwa. Like, you just out here yelling. Like, I was going to give him credit. Like, at least he got that deal done. But you didn't even do that? You just didn't hear you're Jerry Kraus in this Rod Thorne pick? Huh?

That's a Michael. I have to clarify, like, because I know, like, the previous AD negotiated the whole, like, buy thing. And I don't know if this is, yeah, I don't know if this is an extension of that. Yahoo! Who insinuated Bavakwa got the new deal. Ross Sellinger is a really good reporter, so if Bavacqua did that, that's great. And look, I do understand why they say, well, you're just jealous of Notre Dame.

Yeah, I'm jealous. Notre Dame is an incredible deal. They play about three true road games a year. They only have to play. Yeah, they pick Purdue and the bottom of the power conferences to say they play power conference teams. Like, all of this is calculated. We all know what they're doing. They don't have to share any of their playoff revenue.

They have a sweet deal. Occasionally, very rarely, you'll run into a point in your history in which your independence works against you and you go up against actual power, like the power that the SEC has. And this is the one time you couldn't win one of your two important games to actually get into the tournament and you want to be a baby about it and you want to punch down on poor Jim Phillips when you don't have the balls to go after Greg Sanky. Look.

I've thought about it, and I don't understand why I can't find a picture of Michael Rapport from Outbreak.