The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Breaking Bad

Episode Date: August 26, 2025

"To waste good bacon is a strong misdemeanor in the criminal arc of life." Billy is fully cocked and on top of Zaslow, Greg Cote is having another shoeneral and has the best boxers since Ali. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Billy, what degree of confidence do you have that Greg Cody will execute any of this that we have rehearsed correctly for the show open? I'm not entirely certain what he's rehearsing today. So he pulled it off yesterday. Yesterday was great. But we're asking for it twice in a row. Well, that's crazy. And it seems like we're pushing it because there is something about Greg Cody when he tries at 70 years old. And the way to get him inspired is just to let him sing, really. It's an odd sort of development.

He has these arguments. Can you tell me, Chris, what the development, what has been the development of his relationship with Yeti on your podcast? Because I could see Yeti being such a perfectionist that your dad gets tired of having to do things four and five times. Yeah, I actually get a little insecure about the relationship they have. Like, my dad's birthday's coming up and Yetty just told me the gift that he has for him. The effort that Yeti puts towards my dad makes me feel like a bad son.

Well, yes. When we were in Vegas, the day before the live show, where it was Greg Cody and the He-Haw 3s performing and all that stuff, we went out, Mike was DJing at like a bar. We went out to this bar where Mike was the DJ, and Greg was there with Yeti. And very early in the night, I think you may still have been playing or you just finished or whatever. Everyone else was still there, kind of, you know, like socializing, being colleagues. and such. And yet he made an announcement, okay, Greg and I have to go. Greg needs to rest his

voice. And he ushered, he's like, Greg, we got to go. And he ushered Greg out and took him away from the bar where everyone was before everyone else had left. And he's just like, Greg, you got to go, you got to rest up your voice big day tomorrow. And my dad was like a child. He's like, I don't want to go. And Chris was pounding shots at the bar. He didn't even know what the hell was going on. Lost in the performative aspects of yesterday's open was his voice sounded spectacular on that song. But I am worried, not just by making him do this again, but our show's natural predisposition to beat jokes into the ground. Yeah, I think we might be inclined to do that again, just to do it until it's no longer

good. Like, when we surprise ourselves. No, but that's the thing with us. We're not satisfied on something being good enough and enjoying it and being like, we're satisfied. We keep doing it. Yes, that is us. Totally us. It is us. But there's another place that it's us, and I think people are enjoying it and I can't believe the way Zadzlo came in here today Zadzlo is pissed at Billy for a take yesterday. I don't even want to, I don't want to

even talk about it yet. Wow. I want to shit talker over here. I've been here all day. You haven't said shit to my face. You know, take it easy I just got here, all right? I mean... You pipe down or I'll take over your house in five seconds, friend. I can take you to the ground. Billy, you were talking a lot about the man's family when he was out. I'll be at Top Zaslo. Pipe down. He just

gave you while threatening to have sex with you what a childish response the tension between Zazzlo and Billy continues to escalate but I've rarely seen Zaslo this kind of angry Zazzle

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break up the tube and gather near it's the best time of the year so keep your dial right here it's me and you and me again at the suez the greatest of life's mistakes and the greatest of life's mistakes and best revelations much more brought to you by the greatest beer it's the best time of the year so keep your dial right here it's me and you and me again at the sooes and every day you're going to go to a website To vote on the sounds that brought you cheer Because it's the best time of the year So keep your dial right here It's me and you

It's me again and it's you It's me and you and me again At the Suey That's got a thing Best two weeks of the summer According to Tony Although I don't think it's because the sueyes are here No Dan, no, we're in the thick of it right now

Draft season, fantasy football draft season You get all your boys together, you're hanging out You're seeing who's putting what sticker on the wall, Dan It also coincides with the worst time of the year And I'm sorry to report Little League Series sucks Sucks Greg quit grabbing at the microphone

in a noisy, ham-handed fashion, please. I know that you're done with your job once you've done your singing, and you feel like you've accomplished all that needs to be accomplished. But we've got a whole other three hours after your big number. Is that right? If you could stay with us. He'll change that shirt fast. I mean, he's getting good at this.

Outfit change, mid-performance. You are just, who are you? Thank you. Yeah. You should have seen him practicing that yesterday and just eating more and more bacon. His cholesterol went to a dangerous place just with the amount of bacon he was throwing over his shoulder. Yeah, the bacon here is top-notch. You know, I mean, I'm not sure if it's Hormel smoke-house bacon, but it is top-notch.

It's not necessary for you to do that. You to proclaim your ignorance while not knowing whether it's sponsored or not is not necessary. We were just telling Zaz that every run-through Greg did yesterday. He did the bacon toss to perfect it. So every single time he took one bite of bacon and then threw it on the floor behind him. And there was a lot of rehearses. Yeah, well, him and Stugats are the only ones I've seen

who just go over to the bacon tray and don't get a plate, don't get a napkin, don't get tongs, just do it always with their sausage finger. No, bacon's a go-to food that you just pick up with your fingers and eat. Not in a group, though, I don't think. You got to be precise, though. It's just that one bacon you're grabbing.

You got to make sure that it's just the one. That's the only one I touch. Yeah, there's a trust factor. You know, if you're going to do that, Everyone's trusting you that you're not going to touch the other pieces that you're not eating. Right. It's like picking a potato chip out of a crowded chip bowl. You know, you have to just touch the one you eat.

But I can't tell you what a crime it was for me to have to take one bite of that bacon and throw the rest away. Wow. To waste good bacon is really a strong misdemeanor on the criminal arc of life. Put it on the poll is to waste bacon a strong misdemeanor on the arc of life. Did you ever update us on what you did with all that bacon that was sent to you and the giant cooler that we thought was way too much? You're like, I'm going to go through this very quickly. That's the bacon he just referenced by brand. But did you eat it?

Did you bake it already? No way. He said he was going to eat it all in a month and I'm sure he hasn't even put a dent in it. Still in his fridge. He's given some away, but there's still a shit ton of it. Yeah, there were four big packages. Each one had to weigh like 20 pounds. I don't think so.

And two of them are gone. Two of them remain. I think so. Billy, I think he was like. 20 pounds. I tried to hold it over my head. and it felt like I was doing the kettlebell workout. Well, you know.

80 pounds of bacon. You're not what you used to be. We all get older. Raw bacon is heavy. Yeah. You know, when it's cooked, it's lightweight. Claims he has 80 pounds of bacon. Yes, correct.

What you held over your head looked like a 20 pound plate. I think I agree with them. I think it was 80 pounds of bacon and as someone who would be familiar with what it is to hold 80 pounds of bacon. I feel like you should defer to my expertise on this. But I got to get to why it is that. Zaz is mad at Billy, and I've been thinking about Billy this morning because Jason Sanders has hurt. Now anything that happens with the dolphin kicker, I think of Billy, first and foremost, and I cannot be alone in that regard because of how much Billy dislikes Jason

Sanders. But you just heard Tony say that this is the best time of the year, that he loves these two weeks, and there is a lot of enthusiasm for the buildup of football. Football closes off his preseason and gives you two full weeks after a slow time of here, it comes. What pissed you off from Billy yesterday, says? Well, I'm watching the show yesterday because I'm not here. I want to make sure I keep up with it. I want to make sure I still

feel included. So I'm watching the show yesterday. And Billy has this half-cocked idea of we need a break in the middle of football season. We need a fan break. So you're telling me

that Monday through Saturday, It's not enough to get done what you need done in your life? That you need an actual week off from the thing that we all love. You want us to not do for a week the thing that we all love. The games, the gambling, the fantasy football. You're like, nah, you know what? I could do without it this week.

Because somehow I can't get done when I need to get done between Monday through Saturday. You're off, you're off your rocker. How dare you, number one. If anyone's on their rocker here, it's a me. I'm on my rocker, sir, just so you know. There's nothing wrong with taking a little break. Ever heard of spring break? Yeah, you're taking a break from the thing that you hate.

Cool. Ever heard of summer break? Yeah, you're taking a break from the thing you hate. Ever heard of winter break? You're nuts. Ever heard of recess on a playground in the middle of a school day? Ever heard of a nap break? Yeah, recess is doing something fun away from the thing that's not fun.

Right. Did I just learn that Billy hates football? No, no, you're not going to put words in my mouth here. Okay, ever heard of fast break, the candy? Ever heard of brakes in general? You've never, brakes on a car? Breaks are good things. Yes, you've heard of break dancing?

Thank you, Greg, so that you enjoy the things that you enjoy more. What's the, what's one of the biggest problems with football? What's one of the biggest ones? Injuries, concussions. Whoa, whoa. Are those not problems? CTE, are you a fan? So you're telling me.

You like C-T-E? Don't put it's my mouth. Oh, my name's Zazzo. I love brain injuries. I love people living shorter lives. I love C-T.E. Don't put words my mouth. That's what you said.

Not me. Who's off there, rocker? So you're telling me that in the middle of the NFL season, you're saying yourself, oh, I'm having such a great time today watching football. Pace myself. I'm winning all my bets with draft kings. I'm doing all my fantasy football. I'm winning games there.

But you know what I would like? I would like to. not have this fun experience next week. Pace yourself. You go out drinking. You're a lush. We all know it. You go out drinking. What is this character?

You get a little ahead of yourself. You drink too much. You end up throwing up all over your face. You have to call your bully kids. How do you throw up on your face? Do you understand how gravity works? All over your chin right here. All over that puss over there. That's what you do. It says face. That's what you call face.

Yeah. Put it on the poll. Plays that Lebitard show. Over under a hundred years old people arguing who say pipe down and you're off your rocker because the two of you just had

an argument that felt like old people on a porch or in a nursing home throwing tapioca. It's not the way I wanted to start the day. Shut up. You came in looking for that fight and you blindsided me. You didn't even come and lay it down. Say, hey, I have a bone to pick with you.

I'm not looking for a fight. I have a qualm of sorts. But if I hear a crazy person want to ruin everybody else is fun, I got to stand up for everybody. I'm trying to prolong the fun. If you know one thing about me, you know, I stand up for people.

So, Billy is making advocacy here for being a... I just want to go to Disney World for a weekend and not miss any games. Is that such a crime? What happened on Monday through Saturday? What? What?

What? What? I have a Monday through Saturday. I have a job. I can just leave, leave all my responsibilities behind. My kids go to school. My kids aren't school skippers like your kids. Okay?

They have to be there. have to learn their A's, their B's, their C's, their Ds, their E's, their E's, maybe. Maybe I live in a house of learned people. Yeah, maybe. What are you doing there? Greg, your glasses are fogged up. I know. That's because I'm so, I'm so much on Team Billy here. Thank you, great. Oh, what a shock. No, because, you know, Zaz's never heard of the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you have a hat, what amounts to a half son. He learned that. His wife dumped him, remember? Yeah, that's right. That is such a low blow. I don't even know what to do with that.

What did you think of that little break? You came back stronger than ever. I hated the break. What are you talking about? The break from my wife, then she was my girlfriend. The break from my wife was like the worst two months of my life. Yeah, breaking bad. Made you love her more. I wasn't breaking bad. Do you know what breaking bad means? Yeah, it's a great show.

Another example of a break serving us all well. Not what it means at all. Yeah, sure it is. Absence. Thank you. Good timing on that. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Abstinence also makes the heart grow fonder. Billy is sitting here and he is saying to you that he's somebody who likes, because he mentioned that he would be on top for some reason. I don't know how that happened. Because he has a thing where his delinquent children have to knock him to the ground. So I would be on top of him. I would knock him down. Boom. You know? Well, Zaz, Avery Johnson, the Kansas State quarterback, his father stole your move. Oh, my God. That was terrible.

I was shocked watching that. I was shocked that they would so blatantly take my gimmick. I mean, that's what we got going on. Do you think they heard us talking about it? You are getting physical with your children. What is the age of the child that called you sugar tits the other day? 16. 16 years old

It is clear at that point Right the people in our audience I know they're playing with you With this but nobody has the experience That you do with their 16 year old Where it's gonna end up in a fight Because your 16 year old thinks of you As his older brother instead of his dad

I mean I don't necessarily agree with that Can you know is your older brother Going to be able to put you down on the ground Like it's nothing the way that your father can I mean you saw that video every job This father you know Well, I chased my brother into the street in Tidy Whitey's because he pulled a butter knife on me. I was about 43 or 44 years old.

But the older brother does technically, it usually is somebody who could beat up the little brother. Is he not? Like, I don't, what's happening in your household is not something I have had, it's not something I've seen with functional loving people like I imagine that you and Tamara are. Yeah, but it's not a regular occurrence, though. Like, he had an opportunity. Now he's got to wait six more months to try again. I mean, look, he's out of the house at 18 years old. So if you want to do the math, Dan, I don't know if you have your abacist with you over there.

But if you want to do the math, six months, we're talking. He's really got four opportunities before he's 18. One of them, check it off the list. Can we fix this? I don't know what we're fighting about. Like, I don't need to be coming into a hostile work environment here. We're fighting about a half-cocked idea that you had. Excuse me.

I said on the front end, This will not be well received by many. You, obviously, are a many. You are a sheep. I am Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison. I come up with ideas that others view as kooky at the time and a hundred years from now will be viewed as the norm and progress. You're telling me you think taking a week off of the things that everybody loves to be the norm?

Ever heard of Thomas Edison? Ederson? No. No? Never. It's a fully cocked idea. It's great. Thank you.

Coct and loaded. Fully cocked. Mm-hmm. FC. I'm coming for you guys. I'll tell you that right now. Fully cocked. F.C.

He's coming for us. Greg Cody, FC. He's coming. Fully cocked it on top of me. No, that's what's being thrown at me. It's really threatening. It's hostile. It's not appropriate in the workplace.

It's not appropriate anymore in 2025. Good luck finding who that is. Foggy again. I'm wearing a big wool jacket here. It's like, you look great. Take a jacket. You can take it off now. Take the jacket off to reveal that throw rug from the 1940s in Asia.

Is that the Sampson collection? I was just going to make that joke. Yep. That is a definite Sampson shirt. Those buttons are bejeweled and he is wearing the kind of. Under shirt too. It's a move. What is the material on that shirt?

Is it rayon? Is it silk? What's the material? Can it be felt? Go ahead, Dan. Yeah, I'll feel it. Don Lebertard. It's been a love.

Holy Cruz. Oh, man. That's my outro. That's, you know, as my casket is being lowered. Jesus. You know, I'll have been cremated a week before, but we'll do the casket thing just for show. And as my casket is being lowered. Wait a minute.

Empty casket? Yeah, it'll be empty, you know. Just for show. Well, what's the redundancy there? You know, I mean, we're going to put on a public display. Yeah, naturally. Stugats. What do you do with the ashes?

You're going on a lovely cruise. Exactly. Maybe we'll throw them over. My wife will throw him overboard. I would assume. She's nicking with her new husband. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. The Dolphins have gone into the discount bin.

This is not good a couple of weeks before the season starts. Everyone is saying the Dolphins have the worst corners in the league. Just yesterday on our show, Greg Cody argued on behalf of the culture change that's in play because of merely Jalen Ramsey not being here anymore. So they have given a one-year contract to Bill's discard Rasul Douglas because they're panicked at the position. What could possibly go wrong against the bills if you don't have cornerbacks? Nothing, right? Like they'll be fine.

No pass rush as a bonus, right? Because their pass rushers are hurt too. So explain to me, Greg Cody. You're homerific. You're saying that the dolphins plus seven and a half, that that number is too low for their season wins. And I just don't know how they're going to stop people if they can't cover them and they don't have a pass rush. Well, the pass rushers are going to be back. Those aren't serious injuries.

And they are going to have a great. Well, wait, what do you mean? Those aren't serious injuries. They are going to have a great front seven. You think they've got, Jalen Phillips isn't serious injuries? All he's had is serious injuries. Yeah, but they are technically all supposed to be back. Chubb, Phillips, and they got the second-year guy.

Right. And Matthew Judon is a great pickup at a reasonable price. He's smart. That's a smart pickup. So wait a minute. What are you expecting? Their line backing is good. I think their defensive front seven is good enough to help mask the lack of secondary.

And they have a great safety. And Rasul Douglas, he's a proven corner. He's what they don't have, which is veteran experience, at cornerbackout. All the good corners are free. the whole off season usually. I did take a little flyer on Chop Robinson to lead the league in sacks. That's a great pick. Chop Robinson is a rising star in this league. Can you guys get me some metrics, please, on pass rush because I want to know where it is that Cody is coming up with the idea that the people who have been injured, who have provided

them pass rush, that they're not going to get injured again when the last couple of seasons their edge rushers have gotten hurt. Okay, that's the Tua argument, though, because someone's been injured before, you're assuming they're going to be injured again. But, Greg, that's a reasonable thing to do. Once one part of the body starts breaking down, all sorts of other parts of the body start making compensations. But in Greg's offense, this is why they have lined up depth. Yes. These are guys, Jalen Phillips, Bradley Chubb. These are guys that have dealt with injuries. But you have Chop Robinson. You bring in Matthew Judon, who on a passing down can get after the

quarterback. He could probably do that into his 40s. and Zach Seeler, they just extended one of the better defensive tackles in the league who has a lot of sacks. He's not just a run-stopping D.T. He can get to the quarterback. Buffalo does not have a great offensive line. When you talk about how are they going to defend Josh Allen without great cornerbacks, it's because the past rush will get to him. Kenneth, I'm sorry, Kenneth Grant's going to be really good. I'm with my dad.

If you're seeing anything positive this offseason from the Dolphins, it's the front seven. He's right about that. And the other thing is, their first. first eight games are easy, relatively speaking. At Buffalo, they're getting that one out of the ones. All eight of those teams are looking at the Dolphins and saying that week is

easy for them, too. Indies are looking their jobs. Like, Greg, I think we did that last year, too, the Dolphins' early part of their schedule didn't go so hot. Well, you know what? This team is capable of being six and two at the break, five and three at worst. At worst?

Yeah, I think so. Greg, you don't... At worst? At worst. it could be really bad. Stop being a home, or both? At worst it could be really bad because the quarterback

came over. Last year they started worse than that. Okay, I've seen one of those over and under things, one of those high and low,

best case, worst case scenario. I don't know what that thing. Can you describe that thing to me? What thing? What thing? The over under run wins is seven and a half,

but ESPN does this thing where what's the ceiling for this team and what's the worst they can be? And for Miami, it's six and 11 at worst and 11 and 6 at best.

Is it not that for every day? team? No, it isn't actually. No, for New Orleans, I think it's two and 15 or something is the worst. What are you guys doing when you're doing this and the ringer just ranked all the defenses in the NFL this season and the dolphins were 26? Ringer, what do they know? Like, you don't

have corners. Yeah, but that's not the argument that he's making. I think he's conceding that they don't have corners and hopefully their edge rushers can make the corners better. I mean, the way that you would hide the lack of cover corner is a tremendous pass rush. If you have a tremendous pass rush, I mean, you know, NFL player can cover. It is what you

you guys just said, and I would say if you've got the worst corners in the league ain't a front that covers it. It doesn't exist. I'll buck up against it. You don't notice that they're the worst corners in the league if your pass rushers are getting after it. Look, Miami look at the college game.

Miami's corners were exposed last year because the defensive line did not live up to the billing because of all the injuries and the fact that there was just a terrible DC. You're not explaining anything. Any of you aren't explaining anything that isn't understood that the best thing to have in the league is a pass rush. You're more convinced that it's

going to stay healthy than I am. You're more convinced that anything you've seen this preseason of any kind is indicative of anything. I think the Bears won all their preseason games last year. It means nothing. And I've never suggested it does. Well, you just did. You said it's, look, their front seven is the one positive. Everyone here has said that they have, and I don't trust their front seven to be able to cover worst in the league deficiency. at corner. Okay, but I don't relate to the preseason at all. They had their first unbeaten preseason since 1998. It means zero. It means nothing. But the pass rush is going to be good. I think the offense is going to be much better. I expect bounce back years from Tyreek Hill

and from Waddle. They have a pretty good running back room. They have a kid, the seventh rounder, who look really good in the preseason. That's the one thing I judged the preseason for is the development of young players. Stop being a homer, though. That's fine. I've been called worse than a homer. Am I the only one who is really concerned about Tyrie Kill? I mean, we haven't seen him yet this preseason.

That's true. And it doesn't seem like the quarterback is necessarily enthused with the wide receiver these days. And, you know, Tyree Kill, we saw what went down the end of last season. First sign of trouble, really in his career. Really in his career, Tyree Kill. It's made the playoffs every year of his career. career before last year. And the first sign of adversity, we saw he quit the, quit in the game, and then quit the team. They get out to a slow start this year. We feel good about what Tyree Kill

is going to behave. I would, look, he had less than 1,000 yards last season, which in a 17-game season, a thousand-yard season is no longer anything special at all. I expect him to be in that 1,500 range. I expect him to have a really good season. I'll take the under on that. I also will take the under. There's no substitute for speed. No, no, the betting over under wouldn't be 15. Well, wait a minute. There's no substitute for speed. How about his diminished speed? Because he's in his 30s and he's not going to be as,

he's not going to be faster than anyone, everyone else in the league going forward. Well, diminished speed, I'll grant you. But it doesn't mean he's still not a fast wide receiver. Jalen Waddle is fast. Tua gets rid of the ball fast. They have a good running game. What would it take to mute your enthusiasm before a season? Then, like, what would it actually take?

You know what? It would take them getting their ass kicked at a really bad Indianapolis team in the opener, okay? Now, the university, and maybe Mike would agree, maybe he wouldn't. The University of Miami can lose narrowly to Notre Dame, and nobody's giving up on the U. But if the dolphins, to me, the dolphins have very little faith. They've created very little buzz. They need to prove early on that they have a chance to be a decent team, and that means beating the Colts.

The Colts are not very good. I think the Colts won eight games last year. I think they're okay. I think they're better of the AFC South teams if you look at them. Tyreek Hills over under, according to Draft Kings on, receiving yards for the season is 9.75 and a half. Wow. See, I would take that in a minute. Can we find an under my dad would take for the dolphins?

Not seven and a half wins. Hiding under his desk when the season's over. Don Libetard. All right, we got to go back out there. That was big. wake him up oh he doesn't want he doesn't want to be bothered anymore now it's getting tense because he didn't need that as a result he needs something that happens you can we bother are we bothering you right now turn on your microphone my microphone's on stugats paint the scene

the paint the scene is i got to go to work good night this is the dan lebatar show with the stugats Let him be excited. This is the time of year where you get excited. It's every year. I just like a different surprise opinion from him one year on what the dolphins are going to be just once. I mean, that was informed. He had conviction. He bucked up against you on the front seven.

He had his talking points. He goes to camp occasionally. There's nothing wrong with hope. Greg's been to camp more than all of us combined. Have you been to camp this year? Yeah, you know. Occasionally. Greg, is Miami Harold still doing those?

those big football sports additions where you get a Dolphins preview. A college football preview. A statewide college football. You remember every year there would be seven sections of just football, high school football.

High school. Where's Willie Williams going? As a matter of fact, today, when I get home from this show, I am finishing and filing for publication my annual NFL team rankings. Wow. It's why my dad won't be in the rest of the week. I think we wanted him in one more time this week,

and he's like, I got a lot of stuff to do. Well, it's due today, but three times a week's a big ask. So doing Friday was just, you just didn't want to. They'll wait for you. I'm such a big fan of you, too. Those football editions, when I was a kid, it meant the world. When does it come out? You file it today. When does it come out?

Well, it'll be online probably later today. I'm not sure when it prints. Any sneak previews for the Dolphins are going to be number one, right? They're going to be right number one. They're going to be number one in favor to win the Super Bowl? Dorphins, better than you think. The dolphins will not be in my top ten. Oh, but the fact that they'll be in the top.

Will they be ranked high enough to be one of the top seven teams in the AFC and make the playoffs? You never know. You can have to read what I am. I feel like I do know. I do know. And Cody, I don't know why. I would love to know if in Indianapolis there's an Indianapolis, Greg Cody. Bob Provitz, who's been a columnist for 50 years, who's doing a show today saying that the Colts,

if the Colts don't beat the Dolphins, who are very bad team, then the Colts season is doomed with Daniel Jones. I don't think the Colts look at the Dolphins and see a team that's much better than them. I think the Colts say they had Anthony Richards, a quarterback who would start all of 15 games in college, high school, and everywhere else. What an arm, though, Dan. What an arm. Occasionally, a great

throw. But look, Daniel Jones has won a playoff game. Tua? Can you say that? I mean, Tua, playing the playoff game, for that six. As of right now, Indianapolis is favored by one and a half. I want you to write this in stone. By kickoff on September 7th, the Dolphins will be favored in that game.

because there's going to be a lot of money that realizes how bad Indianapolis is and how under-regarded the dolphins are. That line will flip. The dolphins will be favored by one or two points on kickoff day. Hold me of that. Can I just ask a question real quick, Greg? If your column is due today, why can't you come in the rest of the week, player? Friday, I believe, was the other day we wanted you.

You know, as a real journalist says, as someone who has... I know you're looking to me, but you're talking to somebody else? No, no, I'm talking to you. I have other responsibilities. I have other things I have to write. I have a column. I have to write Wednesday. I have an interview with Mario Cristobal later in the week. Later in the weeks, that's probably Thursday.

For an advanced column on the biggest game in the history of football. You're getting them again. We just got them like a week ago. I know, I'm getting them, you know, fresh stuff, different questions. Let the adults speak in this one. Different long-winded questions? No, no. I know you're not talking to me.

I'm not talking about you. I was talking about his other interview where, you know, there are people interrupting, shenanigans, hijinks of plenty, not letting Greg get his questions out. I know. Christopher interrupted me. But, uh, so I was alluding to. It's all good. It's all good. But the point is three times, you know, I do have a full-time job. So three times a week in here, as much as I'd love to, is just a tall ask. Where did you get that shirt? Did someone get it for you, or you went, did you go to a sore? Was this an online purchase? Did you watch Modern Family one day and you said, that's me? The shirt where you, like, go in blind and then just pick stuff? I love this shirt. I've always liked Paisley. Not Brad Paisley.

Not a huge fan of his. No one thought that. Why not? A little underrated. But... Wait, he's underrated? I've had this shirt. Can we get a clarification on what your opinion is of Brad Paisley?

Yes, please. We're confused. It seemed to be contradictory. Is he underrated? Is he overrated? What is your status right now? because it was confusing. Properly rated?

I just wanted to throw a Brad Paisley joke. No, I know you did. It's the Kornheiser move of get over 65 years old. Somebody says a word. Somebody says, I love that guy. Kevin Love. Yeah, yeah. That's a good line.

Well done by you. You're learning, kid. Listen. DJ Max. We went, uh, my wife talked me into going on a disco cruise a couple of years ago. Swingers cruise. Well, whatever you want to call it. And she said dress accordingly.

How are you feeling about that microphone? Talking to it. I'm talking into it. So you went to buy a disco shirt? Where'd you buy the disco shirt? I don't remember. It might have been Target. Might have been...

First of all, you didn't go. Mom got it for you. Of course she did. Right. She might have. You have not shopped for clothes at a store in decades. I bought a pair of walking shorts. Boom.

Before my Vancouver trip. Walking shorts. Right. Hell yeah. So shorts. So shorts. No, walking shorts. You know, I guess you call them.

They're walking. What do you think makes some walking shorts? Running shorts, I guess that there are running. That there are running shorts. So not the opposite of a running short. I think. You got those sitting down shorts? They're not cargo shorts.

They're dress shorts. Chris, I'm going to give you an assignment, okay? An assignment for content. I would love to go through your father's drawers, drawer. Oh, my God. Because he's got to have underwear in there that are older than both of his sons. This would be a good bit. Like, if you went.

through his, when you ask, I cannot imagine the last time this man purchased socks or underwear for himself. I get underwear for Christmas every year. I ask for it on my list. Santa brings me underwear. And you know, I'm decades over the tidy whitties. All I have now are boxers.

You know, Haynes, the brand of choice, quite frankly. Boxers or boxer briefs? Boxers. I believe, yeah. He goes jailed. Walking boxers. Like the cloth ones? He goes boxers, like not the tight ones. I have the best boxers since Ali. Is that so?

Yeah. To say Jake Paul now, in reference to good boxers, Greg. Do me the favor of just rummaging through some of your dad's drawers to see what kind of old stuff you can find in his house. What else is on your Christmas asks every year where you ask Erlene to make sure and just replenish things that you need that you don't know how to get on the Internet? I generally ask for a pair of blue jeans, a pair of black jeans. Don't worry about the microphone. You know, boxers, maybe a couple of dress socks. Why wouldn't we want them in more?

Why wouldn't we want them in more days a week? It's a credit to how relax he is in that studio. I'm very particular about my socks. I don't know what the material is, but I like those thin socks. I don't like like a woolly, cottony, heavy sock. I like a thin sock. And she knows. Your mother knows.

Dan's mom knows? What? Wait a minute. What are you saying? What are you saying? What my mother knows what about you? Ask your mother. She knows what. I'm about your undergarments. Why do you get jeans every year? I've had jeans for like years and years. I recycle my jeans. You know, some of them barely fit me. I'm retiring them. I'm about to bury another pair of deck shoes in the backyard. You are? You have a service? Yeah, another schooner. That's correct. What happened with these?

Just long life or unexpected trauma? I mean, they have holes. Bad smell. Like holes in them. Dude, I'm telling you, these things, they smell so bad. I could wear them another 10,000 miles, but I just don't want to. Yeah. Treat yourself.

He does yard work in them. Like, he does everything in these shoes. The smell after like a couple months. Only when they get wet. Right, but don't let them get wet. You got those yard work shorts? I have yard work shorts. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you. So Greg Co. Cody for the uninitiated has the feet of a gargoyle. He often wears leathery deck shoes without socks. And his son is correct when he says he'll do yard work in those shoes with those gargoyle feet. There will be a swamp of water in there, not absorbed by the socks. And he will wear those shoes for 30 years until he buries them with a shoalogy at a shoe.

And then he'll leave them in the garage. Like they're wet. So he'll leave them like in the garage. Like hours later, you'll walk into that garage and just like this musty smell of just like, oh, the shoes are in here. You walk into the garage and you're like, there's wet deck shoes somewhere. That's considered it. What are you going to take them into the house, leave them out in the rain? I think Greg's doing the right thing.

Don't do yard work in them. Well, I mean, if anyone would, you know, abide by Datter Day, he wouldn't have to do the yard work. But no one, there's never a Datter Day that's observed in the Greg Cody Household, so he has to do his own yard work at an advanced age. I'm still waiting for that. I'm still waiting for a Datter Day. I went over and helped you guys with some stuff recently. What'd you do exactly? I think it was on a Sunday.

Yeah, what did you do? I helped you guys with your mailbox project. No, you did not. No, I didn't help you. I hired somebody to do that finally. No, I'm not talking about building it. I'm talking about moving stuff like in the pre before, like helping you get ready for it. Would you get the mail for the mailbox?

No, I've helped him do shit. Don't let him paint a picture. What did you do exactly? Because you can't really say what you did. What did you do? I moved like the stuff he was using as his mailbox into the garage. What does that mean? Stuff he was using as his mailbox.

You'd be really coy about. Old mailbox? He had a mailbox on like a TV tray table held up with pieces of plywood. Like that's what he had for like years. Can I get a picture? You moved a TV tray table. No, and the plywood next to it, like helping it stay up.

I helped. Seemed like a big job. Sorry the project wasn't bigger. I went over to help him. It was only after I got my new mailbox professionally installed. It was funny though. My neighbors dared make fun of my TV tray. My neighbors dared make fun of my TV tray table that was up there for like three years

because nobody would help me. Three years. Yeah. It was up there a long time. I know. Yeah. Three years, I think we're coming up on the third anniversary of me asking for a dad or day. Yeah.

How many of you had? None. Zero. Wow. Zero. Now I got to hire a landscaper. I just had a driveway done. You wanted me to do your driveway?

No. But now I got to hire a landscaper because none of my sons. will help their dad. Driveway does look good. Thank you. Your wife is the head of a giant law firm. Why is she getting her mail on a TV tray that's embarrassing to the neighbors

because her husband is a total incompetent? But then she has to watch him go out there in those shoes with those gargoyle feet to the TV tray to pick up mail he doesn't understand about documents that he doesn't understand I get the mail. I bring it in. She never has to go out to the mailbox. You are a 70-year-old

toddler with shoes that stink up a garage that is so old. I didn't know there was a smell in there that wouldn't be from like a crypt. Like your garage, your garage is a, it has been a place with rat problems. In the distant past

Norway rats. Your garage. That door with like memory. Wednesday. Remember. It's like saw. That door has looked like that since. I was a teenager going over there. Like, he, I don't know what he does around the house. Nothing.

He drinks Miller lights in that garage. That is his haven. That's where he listens to his podcast like five times on a Sunday night before he comes out. You'll just hear, like, from the living room, you'll hear it just playing in the garage, his own voice. And it's dark, you walk out there. It's just quality control. That's Miller time. Crushing Miller lights.

Listen, giving drunk notes to me and Yeti. Why is listening to his podcast and giving notes a bad thing before he's published? It's multiple times, though. Because they have to go to the garage of a hoarder and get the notes. They've got to go to the garage. The garage out of saw, the original saw. Not when they started getting budgets, the original saw. It's a normal garage.

It is not. It's fine. It is absolutely not. I disagree. It's cluttered right now, but it's fine. It's been cluttered my entire life and the entire life of the garage. And again, I'm surprised that there is a smell that can knock out whatever the other smells are in that garage, given the amount of junk that's in there. We should go on a tour of this garage just to have the things, have Greg Cody take us through a tour guide experience on the museum that is his guitar, that is his garage.

like I don't what what do you think is the weirdest thing we would find in there the oldest thing that we would find in there there there's probably something in there that's been there for 40 years right your pair of your underwear no no not I don't know about 40 years there there's too many things to name in there I can picture like a dolphin's chair that you used to like fold up that you would bring to like the orange bowl to like sit there in like the 80s yeah no I think there's a I think there's a dolphin chair in there that dates from the expansion era oh okay I just always have seen that chair that chair I think it's something that my father or mother gave me that's been in there for decades. Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Quervo. What are you doing here? Quervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

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