The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Choque De Gigantes

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

Today's cast: Dan, Amin, Roy, Izzy, Jeremy, and Tony. The crew is trickling in on a Friday, so we need a trickling sound, but it's an ominous one... Are we in a horror movie? Is this a Subway or a hallway? Is there a dead body? Then, Lamar Jackson and Joe Burrow continue to amaze the entire NFL world after an all-time classic Thursday Night Football game. Plus, Jeremy tries out a new Gametime read, gets roasted by the crew, becomes insubordinate like Lucy, and Dan kicks him out for the rest of the show. Is there...real tension brewing between Dan and Jeremy? Also, Amin is headed toward being a maximum asshole at this weekend's game between the Miami Hurricanes and Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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No purchase necessary. 21 plus ends November 15th, 2024. See rules at website for participating area and other important details. Sponsored by Diageo Americas, Inc., New York, New York. Red One. We're coming at you. Is the movie event of the holiday season.

Santa Claus has been kidnapped. You're gonna help us find you can't trust this guy. He's on the list It's a naughty Lister naughty Lister Dwayne Johnson. We got snowmen Chris Evans, I might just go back to the car. Let's save Christmas I'm not gonna say that say it. All right Let's save Christmas. There it is. Only in theaters November 15th. Shadow Show. Shadow Show.

Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow in it. Roy, I feel like we're doing the Shadow Show all wrong.

My original incarnation idea for the shadow show is just something for the early arriving YouTubers that is just us sort of talking to them as we trickle into work and get makeup done. It shouldn't have a shadow show open. It should just have like, can you get me some trickling sounds? Some sounds of trickling. It's just us like, can you get me some trickling sounds, some sounds of trickling?

It's just us trickling into work. Because right now I've got a studio, we're about to start a show, internationally famous show, and I don't know who's on it. I thought Jessica was here, I thought Izzy is here, I'm looking into a room where I only see you and Jeremy, and I've got a mean sitting down right now next to me. They haven't trickled in yet.

Just give them a chance to trickle. Correct, correct, but are these people here? I don't know who is here today on a Friday. I thought Jess and Izzy were here, but all I see in the room are Jeremy and Roy and we start in five minutes. I do know that Izzy will be here. He's just stuck in what amounts to about two hours

of traffic driving from where we live. He's been getting a lot of that the last couple of days. He's been getting a lot of two and a half hour commutes in. I should tell the YouTube listeners and others that Roy, that Billy and Stugatz are in Arizona. I shouldn't tell them now because this is there, that's good. That's more like a dripping. Sounds like a horror movie.

Yeah, it's like I'm walking down an alley, maybe down in the basement of a building. In 1988. There are pipes, right, exposed pipes. That water's not clean. It's not falling into clean water, and it's not coming out of the pipes as clean water. There's a rat scurrying around.

You might be in a sewer, like with a flashlight. Flashlight, yes, absolutely. For sure, trying to walk around and either avoid something behind you or you're searching for maybe even a dead body. Abandoned subway platform. Exactly. They used to use this one, they don't anymore.

Searching for a dead body. You tell me all the times in your life you people have been searching for a dead body. What are you doing? This doesn't sound like real life. This sounds like the movie we're creating in our heads. Have you watched any movie from the 90s? Theater of the Mind.

There's always the dead body and we've always got to find it. Video tends to have visual accompaniment. Right now you guys are creating a scenario that escalates straight to death when all I want was us trickling into work. Okay, sorry. The dead body's gonna be mine. You're looking for your kid that was stolen by a clown. Sorry. You guys don't fix the way that we do these things.

The dead body at the center of the dripping pipe is going to be me. Oh, no. I don't know if that's much of a threat. I thought you were saying it was going to be me. Yeah, I mean, I thought Roy, boy, you better get on that dripping. OK. Well, but I can threaten you guys and say that you will be gone and your termination will result in both life termination

and employment termination. One of those is scarier. But it's also bad for you to have career termination if I die. You shouldn't, we shouldn't be doing this in a way that kills me. I think we'll survive. You do.

We'll march on. You think we'll survive. You do. We'll march on. You think the Dan Lebatard show survives without Dan Lebatard. Only in the case of a Dan Lebatard death. Dan Lebatard quits, we can't survive that. I agree with you, actually. Dan Lebatard dies, we're never going off the air.

Really? It's in his memory. At that point, everyone who's hated on you and shouting written mean things, they feel bad after that. And no one can abandon ship after that. Then they pity, like, oh man, I can't be like that. That makes me an awful person.

So then they have to support the show. Guys, I think I just found out how we saved the show. Hey, good job, Amin. The show didn't really need saving unless I thought I died, but you're just saying that my death results in a lifetime contract for all of you. That's what you, you just said that my death not only is being miscalculated by me,

you're saying it's most egregiously miscalculated that you will have lifetime security the moment you guys kill me. Dan, can I introduce you to the double first named Christopher Wallace, also known as the Notorious B.I.G. We don't have a lot of Wallaces walking around. Oh yes there are. We don't.

Wallace from the wire. Okay. Where's Wallace? A TV show from the 1990s. Well. Is what you're mentioning. Early aughts. Wallace Pip.

Again, no Wallaces. Wallace Walker. There's no, there's, Wallace Pip? We're not making Wallaces anymore, we're not making Wallies anymore. Wallies sports. Correction, it was Walter Pip. Damn.

Oh. As I was saying, the notorious B.I.G. tragic death, well cut down well before his prime. That's not what you were saying. You're saying that Christopher Wallace is two first names and last names as a first name and a last name. And I just, the game and you guys continue to play it incorrectly. It's common first names and last names.

You guys keep going to uncommon ones. Wallace is not a common, Anderson Cooper. Anderson is a common first name? How many Andersons do you know? Pop. Okay, name two. Shit. This is the Don Leventor Show with the Stugats Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout

the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I have in front of me, I mean, an assortment of statistics from last night's football game that are a bit crazy, okay? From Stat Muse, Lamar Jackson, who's six-time executive of the year, Bill Polian thought wasn't a quarterback. Let's leave Bill Polian alone, man.

We won. We don't have to dance on his grave anymore. Can I finish the stat please? Can I finish the thought? Can I finish the sentence that I have here? Lamar Jackson, who six time executive of the year Bill Polly in thought wasn't a quarterback, has thrown 14 touchdown passes in the past 17 days. That's a lot. That can't be true. has thrown 14 touchdown passes in the past 17 days.

That's a lot. That can't be true. 14 touchdown passes in the last 17 days, that's from Statmuse, and it's not the craziest stat from last night. There have been two instances, this is from Optostats, two instances in NFL history where QB had 30 plus completions, 300 plus passing yards, four plus TD passes, 40 yard TD passes, no more than one interception,

and yet still lost. Those two instances were Joe Burrow the first time he played the Ravens this season, and Joe Burrow the second time he played the Ravens this season. The Bengals are 0-2 in the games where Joe Burrow has put up this stat line. 64 of 95 for 820 yards, that's 8.6 yards per pass nine touchdowns in one

interception they're 0 and 2 in those games and that's what the Bengals all line playing terrible they the the the you had the Ravens weren't even blitzing and they were hitting burrow again and again because of how bad his offensive line is. Let's check in real quick with Tony, who's doing a victory lap in the other room, because he got this game right. This game, he told you yesterday in Thursday Thunder that it was gonna be offensive fireworks, and so now we're checking in with Tony.

It looks like Tony is being chased by a mob of Ravens fans. They're trying to catch him. Yes, Tony is doing a victory lap in the other room. This is brought to you by Peloton. Go ahead, Tony, give us your victory lap, because you told us that game was going to go that way. Thank you, Dan. Yeah, absolutely.

Well, when you know ball, you know ball, Dan. So brought to you by the Peloton app. I'm actually going to do a little something different this morning. I'm going to do a hit workout in German here with Marcel. Thank you, Marcel. Jesse, our amazing makeup artist is gonna hold it while I try and reenact everything

that Marcel's doing on screen. So give me a second. Press play here. It's in German. I don't really understand it. No biggie. How are we gonna start some squats? Shouldn't you be on a Peloton though?

Wouldn't that make more sense? I know the segment's called Victory Lap, but shouldn't you be on a Peloton? But here's the beautiful thing about the Peloton app, Dan. You don't need to just have a Peloton. You could do Hit Workouts, you could do yoga, you could do a peloton? But here's the beautiful thing about the Peloton app, Dan. You don't need to just have a peloton. You could do HIIT workouts. You could do yoga. You could do a bunch of stuff.

I got to do 25 air squats here for a second. So all right, getting back to the game. We knew it was going to be offensive firepower. Why? Their defenses aren't that good. Ravens. Ravens. This is hard.

The squats are hard. They start to burn. Yeah, this is bad. He's going to pull something. OK. He's going to be really genuine. All right, now I got to do these. Oh, god. OK. Oh, he just pulled something. He's gonna pull something. This is, yeah. He's gonna be really genuine. All right, now I gotta do, I gotta do these.

Oh, God, okay. I just pulled something. I can't do those. I'm gonna just do some more air squats. Okay, so we knew defenses on both sides, not that good. We saw James Winston carve up the Ravens. We've seen literally everybody carve up the Bengals. So you knew it was gonna be an offensive game.

One thing that we didn't even mention was, this is not big no I know the squashes out you should stop doing the squats because that's not gonna get better your breathing's not gonna get better You should stop doing squats for a second and just give us the breathless victory. No, no Marcel's doing it I got to do it. Okay, so if you go back to last season Bengals and Ravens put on an incredible performance That was another high scoring game. My quads are on fire. Another high scoring game.

And that was gonna be repeated this year. Lamar Jackson, when I told you yesterday that Joe Burrow was probably the MVP if you blind-statted him against other quarterbacks. Everybody except Lamar Jackson, who's thrown at this point, 24 touchdowns to two interceptions, right? And we've got Joe Burrow, who's thrown at this point 24 touchdowns to two interceptions. Right? And we've got Joe Burrow who's playing incredible. I think what 25 touchdowns to three picks.

It was an offensive firepower from the moment they started. It's harder to do. Hold on, hold on, hold on a second. Hold on. You've got to think differently when you do this way. It requires a different strategy. Your analysis has to be shorter sentences because longer thoughts are killing you right now. You gotta ration out your answers. They gotta come out in like little bursts

that coincide with the exhale as you come up. And we have to help you as well by talking some in the winded monologue windows, small though they are. So continue toning. I don't know how Marcel's done like 60 air squats in a row he's incredible. Marcel's a beast. Oh my god. Air squats are hard man. Okay now we're moving up to high knees okay perfect. Alright so with that we

look at Joe Burrow who's the number one option? Jamar Chase. Jamar Chase has an argument to be probably the best receiver in the league right now 11 catches 249 yards three touchdowns that's off the top of my head. I think was more than that I might have been more exactly more yards than that might have been more 60 something Zach Taylor by the way Zach Taylor I get it. Hey, you want to end the game you want to be the hero and win it at? M&T Bank Stadium. Going for two there. I think not a great move.

Jesse trying to leave here as I'm, okay, come on. You don't want to see me do high knees, that's fine. All right, now we're doing a little fake jump rope, all right. So when you look at these two teams, Dan, offensive firepower being there, what really killed us was Zay Flowers. Yeah. Well, why is this a victory lap when you had a four leg parlay and only three of the legs came in and that's not a winning bet?

You got Lamar Jackson over 250 yards, you got Joe Burrow over 250 yards, you got somehow Jamar Chase over 80 yards, but Zay Flowers killed you at 34 yards. Yeah, to be honest, the Thailand Wall is touchdown. I actually count that as a Zay Flowers killed Jit 34 yards. Yeah, to be honest, the Thailand Wall is touchdown. I actually count that as a Zay Flowers touchdown. It's a process over results business, Dano. That's what you do. You knew somebody was gonna be going, somebody was, okay, Chubby Jacks.

So you knew somebody was gonna be going off in that Ravens wide receiver core. We know it's not Deontay Johnson, that guy's a bum. But, oh sorry, god damn. Say I was just straight in. I don't think we're allowed to say bum anymore. No but in the context is different. No we can say whatever we want now Dan. Thank you Dan. Finally Jeremy I agree with you on something. Unhoused gentlemen? Me too! But he's not an unhoused gentleman he's a very housed gentleman he's just playing like a bum. Anyways, so you knew somebody. What is he doing? All right.

He's taking a breath. Tone, do me a favor. Tone, do me a favor. Back to air squats. Christ. No, Tone, come on in here. Come on in here. I don't want to torture you.

You've done enough. And this isn't an actual victory lap, because three out of four isn't a victory. Process over results, Zano. You know that. Come on. Also not a victory lap. He's doing squats and jumping jacks.

Victory laps are typically just running also not technically Peloton Even though Peloton is expanding as a brand and isn't just bicycles exactly come back in here Okay, then I want to point out something that that Tony did which is the interesting math that we do now Right you hold on a second I mean because you're not a broadcast professional and you don't realize that's a sponsored segment that has a read in it. Yeah, whatever that was, probably wasn't even a victory lap or whatever, was presented by Peloton. Find your push, find your power with Peloton.

Sorry for the lack of professionalism. Well, this is a real disorganized Friday. Like I don't know what we're doing in here, but to come in here and there's no Izzy and I thought there was Jess and Tony's in the other room and we've got Jeremy and just Roy like I don't mean to complain but I'm running a company that is a bit in a ramshackle condition. They're trickling. But they're not trickling. There's not going to be any more trickling. Give me the trickling sound again please here Roy because Amin was saying during the break when he does some of his best work work I wish we were paying him for the stuff he says during the break instead of on air you were

creating yet more visual images around what the echoing sound here suggests that all of this is ominous as opposed to just a leaky pipe there's something about the echo here that is creating fear and a haunting nature when all I wanted was trickling. I didn't want haunting, I just wanted the sound of some trickling. Sometimes you get buy one get one free Dan, you wanted trickling and got instead haunted, creepy, abandoned subway station.

We're down there, we've got our flashlights, the flashlight is flickering, hitting it, gotta jam it to get it back on and as we're walking and we're terrified, we don't know what we're gonna see down here. A conversation breaks out about what constitutes a first name, right? And now we're having an argument about whether Wallace is a first name, whether Anderson is a first name, for that matter,

and we're standing there in this abandoned subway station with the flashlight flickering, this thing trickling, and we're arguing and that's when the killer sneaks up behind us. I figured it out It's the echo See you elongated echo. Mm-hmm. If it was a shorter echo, maybe if it was a bathroom sink possibly, but this echoes too long Okay

So you got to do better than that executive producer and amine has just pointed out something to me That is a horrible flaw in my game, which is I had not considered welcome Izzy I had not considered, welcome Izzy, I had not considered that Anderson Cooper, the only reason I was considering Anderson and considering Anderson as a first name is because he made it his first name. And so Anderson is not actually a common first name. And so my game gets sabotaged from the very beginning. Welcome back, Tony.

Hey, Dan. Anything else that you wanted to say about the football? Just a fun night man Just we talked about it and and the victory lap of seeing a great game on a Thursday night really warms the cockles Hmm that is not someone your age says welcome again Izzy. He's all about the warm to cockles I don't actually know what cockles are to be warm. They've got to be on it. That's a trickle That's better as a trickle. Still got some haunt to it. What, put it on the poll please, Juju,

at Lebatard Show, do you know what cockles are? I don't even know how to spell cockles when they're warm. It's how you think. Is it? Yeah. So it's C-O-C-K-L-E-S? Yeah, that's right. Okay, what is a cockle?

That's how you think, huh? I'm about to figure that out. That's how you think. Hey, trickle in. Okay, what is a cockle? That's how you think, huh? I'm about to figure that out. That's how you think. Hey, you trickled in. We know this already, though. I'm seeing here a cockle is a edible marine bivalve mollusk. Warm it up. Okay, so I don't know why we're warming one of those.

Why are... That can't be right. It's an octopus. You don't want it refrigerated, you don't want it cold. Do you serve that warm? Can anyone here answer my question about what warmed cockles are? Because Tony has given me more information and somehow I feel like I have less information. This originated in the 1600s, but the most popular explanation was that cockles, the shell, looks like a heart. The trickling sound sounds like at the end of a particularly satisfying urination sequence

and you're just trying to make sure that the last charge. I feel like this is showing the lack of power in your stream at this point. No, no, this is at the end. Now we're just trying to get it all done. Okay, enough. Trying to shake it all out, you know. Shout out to TJ. This is not what I wanted to be doing.

Again, no one here, you used the phrase Tony as a young person, warm the cockles, having no earthly idea what a cockle was or why it was being warmed. You just knew we had to warm it, and that's what we did. The football game, I was there like, we need a warming sound, I don't know how we can get a warming sound, we'll get that,

and it was just like right here, just warm. Jeremy, please explain to me again, because I'm still at a loss. In the 1600s, there was a mollusk of some sort that had a heart-shaped shell. And it was warmed, even though a shell is generally cold, because we were heating it to cook it? Or what are we?

No, no. Like, warm warms the cockles of someone's heart. It sort of means to make them feel content, so like a heartwarming moment. And because the cockle looks like's heart, it sort of means to make them feel content. So like a heartwarming moment. And because the cockle looks like a heart, that's where you go. I don't know. I'm looking at amazon.com.

They're selling Parsons Welsh Pickled Cockles, pack of three. I don't know what those are. Going to throw them in the air fryer? I'm going to find out, Dan. Same day delivery? How have we gone this long without anyone asking the question, what do you mean warm cockles? I don't know what cockled cockles are. It's just something you say, Dan.

It's like ebb and flow. What is ebb? Whose flow? Nobody knows what ebb is. What's the opposite of flow, isn't it? I mean, you only know that because of that phrase. Flo is that sound right there. Whether you forget to take a sip of water during your office holiday party or start feeling parched after a long day of traveling or hosting, keep Liquid IV on hand to stay hydrated throughout the holidays.

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It sounds to me like everybody could use a hug, because a hug is always the right size. Stugats! All I have put in my body today is three cups of coffee and an entire cup of honey. Don't let him fool you, he said in the break that he's jittery. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats! You know what really warms the cockles of my heart? Baseball. And tonight begins the first edition of the Choque de Gigantes tournament right here in

Miami. This six-game tournament will run from tonight through Sunday at Lone Depot Park, featuring the best leagues from Venezuela, Puerto Rico, and the Dominican Republic. And Game Time is offering 10% off on Choque de Gigantes tickets until tonight. Terms apply, download Game Time today. What time is it? Game Time time. I know, come on man.

Do you know what you just read? No. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, okay? Just everyone slow down. I just knew this would happen. Well, okay, just wait a minute. Choque de Gigantes, if it's going to be said by somebody who's allegedly a Miami Hispanic,

has to be said differently than that, and has to be said by someone who knows what they're saying. So, just let's back up for a second and quiz Jeremy on what he thinks chocas de gigantes means. Or how he said it first. Don't Google it, don't Google it. Don't Google it, don't Google it. Don't Google it. Don't, don't, you cheater!

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna kick you out. I didn't, I didn't. No. Wait, hold on. You did not just try and stugat-sat with me. I know what Gigantes is. No, wait a minute.

But I don't know. Tony, Tony. Tony, Jeremy, shut up! Shut up! Tony, did he try to cheat so as not to appear dumb on our show? Is that what he just did? Did he try to cheat so as not to appear dumb on our show is that what he just did? Oh I know how dumb I am. Did he try to cheat?

Dan I don't. I'll say yes. Jeremy shut up. Leave. Jeremy. Leave. Get out of here. Leave.

Scram. Leave. Leave. Leave. Quietly. Leave. I'm trickling out now. He's trickling out.

Ha ha ha. Are you kidding me that you get our show so little that you try to not appear dumb in that situation by camouflaging it after you've already appeared dumb? Poor Lee, I might add. Ha ha. Save the voice, Dan. That's important here.

We need it. Yeah, we need it. Can I give it a try since I haven't Googled and I don't know. Say the phrase again please. Choque de gigante. Okay, that's like, ooh, that's Aaron Judge in the World Series.

Okay, keep going. Big choke. Oh, hey, that's good. In Washington Heights, that's how many, tremendo choque de gigante. That is not bad. He's on it, dude, he owns it dude, I mean is more Hispanic than Jeremy I did not believe that could be so

Is that my right? No, you're not right. You got one piece, right? He got it. Yes. It sounds it sounds a bit like chocolate giant I will get him back in a second to I will get him back in a second to To wallow in all of this because I can't believe how he said that I can't he's the confident reader among us He wanted to read that he is dying to hear his own voice at all times He can't sing song and enough he comes in and thinks it's clever to segue with you know What warms my cockles baseball he thinks that that's cute because he loves his own voice and you can get it with game time

get those tickets the game time and then the moment he shows his ass and all of us notice he can't stop talking because he thinks that's gonna work it's a theater kid then oh my god they're so annoying shows his cooler endo he got thick He tried to throw a plume of smoke Dan to like keep talking and then be like He's so clever what did I say what I could see right in front of them I'm surrounded by dumb apes and the monkeys didn't just escape from South Carolina. I work with them every day. I'm smarter They won't even notice that I'm cheating Some might say that he took a Higante in that moment.

What he did, listen, I don't, I'm, you know what? Close that door, Tony, and put like some shares on it because I need to discuss this for a second. I need to discuss what just happened for a second. You are the enemy of good content. If you're not going to allow me to sink into you pronounce something wrong. And he wasn not going to allow me to sink into you pronounce something wrong and he wasn't gonna let me on my own show he's like no no no I'm gonna shoot right in front of you and I'm gonna talk over you too you gotta be shitting me he thought that was gonna work right in my face like he's like this fool's work was to God's for 20 years. He's not gonna, I'm gonna get over on him.

Oh, this is a good trickling sound. Hey, there you go. No echo. Do we know what choque means? Yes, clash, like a collision of the, of the, he got. Was it pronounced properly? I mean, no, he pronounced it like appallingly for a Hispanic person.

It was just soaked and Jeremy has not been out of Broward County except to do sideline reporting where he thinks, you know what warms my cockles? Baseball. We turned into Jason Jackson right there. He wants to. Tell me he doesn't want to. Tell me theater kid, Jason Jackson.

Jay Jackson, if you're nasty.. Jay Jackson if you're nasty. Jay Tasse if you're nasty. Jay Tasse if you're nasty. Stugat and Billy are gonna be in Arizona this weekend. Keep that door locked. I wanna talk about him for a while. Don't let him back in here. You stay out!

Oh he's out? Don't let him back in here. Make him do the Peloton victory lap. I'm going to punish him for a minute Don't let him back in here. Don't let him. You stay out. Oh, he's out. Don't let him back in here. Enemy at the gates. Make him do the Peloton victory lap. I'm going to punish him for a minute because that is not playing the game correctly. I could have sunk in to Chocca the Gigantes for I could have done the show

straight through till Sunday, just there. And he wanted to deny me it while cheating with his own sausage fingers, trying to look up. Nobody will know that you can type without looking at the keyboard. As you mentioned, Stu Gatz is not here, neither is Billy. That Sunday service presented by Smirnoff,

join God bless football, live from DraftKings Sportsbook at TPC Scottsdale. It's Jess versus Cardinals, kickoff is at 2.25 local time, streaming live on DLS YouTube 21. We're over. 2.25 will always confuse us. But I was at the Sunday service in Chicago. We had a blast.

The crowd was awesome. The people were awesome. We got to shake hands, kiss babies, take pictures, all that stuff. So if you're in the Scottsdale Phoenix area. The greater Phoenix area. The greater metro Phoenix area. Do you guys say metro or no?

Yeah, the valley. The valley. If you're in the valley area, go head over to TPC Scottsdale They'll have some fun with the boys. That is going to be Sunday and it's a fun party all around them. Stu Gotts and Billy throw a good party and do a good show. I wanted to ask you guys something about how Amin came walking in here today. He trickled in. He didn't trickle in though. I was gushing. I. I gushed it. Oh, the faucet was on. No, he came in gushing, and this is what I wanted to ask you.

When I ask you to think of somebody who enters a room with the most swagger in their saunter or their walk, is it Conor McGregor? Is it Vince McMahon? Is it George Jefferson? Where do you go when you think of somebody walking into a room with arms flapping behind them? Used to be George Jefferson when I was a kid.

Now as an adult, I think of Cosmo Kramer. Oh, it's always gonna be George Jefferson. I mean, the arms went over his head. Okay, you guys, but Conor McGregor does it now, right? The way he walks into a room, and it's the way Vince McMahon used to walk into the ring. Correct? Just exaggerated cockinessiness swagger.

That is how Amin walked in today. However it is that you imagine the sauntering cocky person. I imagine Denzel Washington and Spike Lee and Malcolm X when they have those zoot suits and they know that they're looking bad and they walk with their arm going out back and forth. That's what I think of sauntering. All right, excellent.

This is a good combination of things. It's how Amin came in and what he was sing-songing in an echoey way was, ah, the bliss of ignorant fandom. Because he is a Georgia Tech fan, he is wearing his identity today on his jersey. Georgia Tech has a chance to ruin this show's happiness by beating Miami this weekend and instantaneously ending the national conversation around Miami even if they make

it to the playoffs. Or making a good percentage of the people here a lot happier. Correct, because one of the things that's happening around here in the divisions, and I thought Jess was going to be here today so that I could break down this Georgia Tech Miami game, is Amin doesn't know anything about this team. Not a thing. I thought the quarterback was black up until yesterday. Haynes King.

So tell the people about the bliss of ignorant fandom because he noticed something that doesn't exist in his life day to day. He's so busy breaking down the games and doing the content around the analysis of the games that he's actually enjoying watching a game, not knowing anything, and just screaming, we're gonna kick your ass,

and just having that be his life. It's so freeing to abandon all intellectual trappings, these golden handcuffs of wanting to be accurate and wanting to be nuanced and just throw all that shit out the window and just be like, hey, you suck and that's it. That's all the analysis. And I realized, I told Dan, we're the ignorant ones. We sit here every day trying to find the nuance, the detail, the analysis to let

you know why this little thing here means this, this, that, and this, this, and that's why this is happening. We sat here the first segment breaking down how Joe Burrow is the only quarterback. Nobody cares! I just want to be a Ravensfess. Hey Joe Burrow! Kick your ass twice buddy! And I don't get to do that very often in my life. I'm busy doing my job so I don't get to do that very often in my life. I'm busy doing my job. So I don't get to do that. But in those moments when it comes back,

it's like, oh, this is great. It's like when people say, who's the greatest quarterback that you've ever seen? I mean, I can say Eli Manning. And I feel like, oh, Tom Brady? Oh, yeah, 2 and 0. Hold that. And there's, there is no logic.

Hold that, hold that 2 and 0. Hold that's a good one. Hold that's a good one And there's, there is no logic. Hold that, hold that to a. Hold that's a good one, hold that's a good one because it's, you're not saying anything that's wrong there but you are saying something wrong. The implication, Dan. The implication, what are you, what's the that there? Hold that. No, and we know what the that is.

What is this? It's a warm cockle. I thought it was a cold one but same general sphere. So as we enter this game tomorrow, Dan, and as I demonstrated, I don't know anything. I thought the quarterback, Haynes King, was black. The only link you have to this game, if I did a quiz show right now with you,

let's break down UM Georgia Tech, let's do a preview during the local hour. The only thing that you would be able to tell me by way of information that analyzes the game in any way is that you went to school there. That's right. Oh, I'm going through that right now, Dan. I've been detached from the University of Florida football team. So going into this season, I'm like, hey, they get to play UM

early. I don't know who the quarterback is. I don't know anything about this team other than maybe Billy Napier is on the hot seat. And if they would have beaten UM early. I don't know who the quarterback is. I don't know anything about this team other than maybe Billy Napier is on the hot seat and if they would have beaten UM. You learned that your quarterback was named Merck tuning into that game? I knew Graham. Are we still doing Graham's? Making, sorry.

I knew Graham was there. I didn't know if he was still there. I knew he was there last year. But yeah, I don't attach myself to them. I don't pay any attention. And now when I see, hey, Billy Napier, he's staying put, right? Everybody's getting mad at that.

I'm not upset. I don't really care that much. I'm good with it. I'm all right. You know what? Last year, Izzy, I went to Georgia Tech Miami, here in Miami, and we knew we were bad. We lost to Bowling Green the week before.

We just went, it was just me and my buddies I went to college with. We're just having a good time watching this game And we're awful and all our first downs are off of penalties and I was just like Sarcastically cheering for our team like yes Yes, the refs are on our side because I know we're gonna lose this game and there's everyone around us got it but there was just one dude who didn't get it who thought I was being sincere and so when Miami scored he's like yeah, he starts clapping in my face,

I'm like, what are you doing, bro? He's like, yeah, we're gonna kick your ass. I'm like, okay. He's like, how many national championships do you have? I'm like, are we doing this for real, bro? I don't care. But of course we ended up winning that game. And so I turned into maximum asshole of me,

which is my favorite of me to be. And it doesn't get to come out often. Oh really? It doesn't get to come out often. Oh, really? It doesn't get to come out often. The maximum asshole, asshole amine is around all the time. Maximum asshole, that's a rarity. Let's examine this for a second. Let's examine amine's asshole.

OK. Fractologists. No, because this one's interesting, because he's telling us now, we all have gotten very familiar with, yes, Amin's an asshole. He's very comfortable with that character. It's a lane that only David Sampson is willing to occupy so well, although Jeremy seems to be elbowing in in a way that he doesn't intend.

Sampson's got a towel for that. Amin says there's a maximum asshole that we don't see very often, and now I am curious, but I'm going to regret this curiosity. Because I feel like I have seen maximum asshole Amin, and I feel like you're always revving pretty high and pretty close to maximum asshole Amin. I think that's how the group experiences you.

Do I have this wrong? That Amin is going for asshole at almost all times. That's what I see, I think that's how the group experiences you. Do I have this wrong? That I mean is going for asshole at almost all times. That's what I see, yes. Yeah, as far as right as you ever been. I would say there's a cruising speed of assholeness that I'm at most times. But every once in a while, I get to push the gas on the accelerator, and really go into overdrive.

It doesn't happen often because I don't have a lot of outlets to do that. To say I want to inflict as much pain with everything I say here, right? And so that game last year was absolutely one of those moments. Because that realization of, oh okay, who cares?

So, oh, this is, you're actually invested in this? All right, let's do this. Let's do this. And the best part about it again, Dan, it is rooted in zero fact or analysis or anything. It is just you are floating with the winds. The winds blow me up in the wind and you hope the winds don't blow me down.

Well, they didn't last year. Georgia Tech beat Miami. And I thought we had video of you being maximum asshole in the stands. I remember there was video of this and I'm like, oh, there's a sighting of, in the wild, in the wild of Maximum Asshole, I mean, he doesn't know how dangerous that is in Miami. To the guy who, Laz, Laz in section 120,

who's not in on the joke with him, and we'll cut you in the parking lot. Too soon. Well. Yeah. Do what you do in there. My favorite, you know what? I didn't even mean, And we'll cut you in the parking lot. Too soon. Well, my favorite. What are you doing there? Wow.

What are you doing there? You know what? I didn't even mean that. Cutleridge, Lazz. Oh, Roy. Well, you've made it worse now. Yes. Look, I've been making fun of the stereotype of the Lazz

who put the cut in Cutler Ridge who will stab you over the hurricanes. I've been making fun of that caricature for a long time and that person actually exists now and actually did what it is or was penalized. It's a prison. Yeah, that means you did it, right? You rolled it into existence.

I didn't know where we were on the news story. I was told years ago, stop making fun of Laz. And I'm like, that was an invented character. That's like hearing that people did that. Like, you don't understand. I know a million Lazs. I wasn't talking about a specific one. With all that said, go ahead, Dan.

All of that said, I want to create a segment on HBO Max that is a mean in the corner for a minute, Max Asshole, where he goes, maximum asshole on who, like where we get to see a mean at his very quote best or worst as a sports fan because he came in here today and there was a spring in his step about the possibility of an upset and the joyful way he's going through this isn't just because he's ignorant about all things, it's also because it's the best position. He cares so little and knows his team's an underdog, so all he gets on Saturday is the possibility of being Maximum Asshole, and it's worth rooting for.

So this actually traces back, this particular Georgia Tech Miami thing, traces back to, Roy, do you remember before the pandemic, it might have been two or three years before the pandemic, we went to an event, a watch party at Jay Wakefield. It was Georgia Tech versus Miami. And this was Mike being maximum smarmy Mike, well, you know, this is just a looking appetizer thing. Next week, they were playing a bigger opponent or whatever. And then Georgia Tech ended up winning that game. And I, this was like my first time watching a GT football game in years. So I was like, oh yeah, I got to have a lot of fun there. Then fast forward to last year, and I had a lot of fun there.

And so this right here, what's gonna happen tomorrow, the beauty of it, first of all, let me say one last thing about last year's game. Unbeknownst to me, Mike was in a suite with a direct sight line to me. He later revealed to me, I watched you the whole entire game and I was seething. Because he could see all my antics,

albeit without any volume to it, right? Not creepy at all. Why is Jeremy coming back into that room? Was wondering the same thing. Get out! You were saying, Get, hold on. Interloper!

Finish your story. I've got to address all of this. I'm gonna address this on air before he's allowed back into the room. So just lengthen the segment. I'm going long. We're busting the clock here because I've got more for Jeremy

on what just happened there because it's infuriating to me. And I've just got a youth problem around here. Just because Lucy's insubordinate as well. And I'll talk about that. Have we settled that one? Wow. Not a stray. No we settled that one? Wow. Not a stray.

No, it's not a stray. Not a stray. Target, sniper. I have a generational problem in our company. We all do. While trying to get young. The shaking of the fist helps. Yeah.

To the sky. At the clouds. And so I wanna discuss what happened with Jeremy, but I want to rummage around in a means fandom because I also want, by the end of this segment, for you to be doing a segment in the corner, a Max Asshole, and we figure out how you come at University of Miami fans to escalate what this game means this weekend. Because Jessica and Lucy keep telling me they don't think Miami can lose that game. They keep telling me that the Miami schedule is super easy. And I see Miami as an 11-point dog,

and I've seen them down at the half at Duke and down 25 at Cal. They can lose to anybody on the road. Like, that quarterback has three turnovers and a fumble, they're gonna lose 40 to 25. Like, it would be very easy for them to lose a football game because their defense can't stop anybody.

And Amin is the fan that you, the passionate UM fan, is deathly afraid of because he runs in, doesn't know anything, and is going to cheer his ass off like he's been a life-long fan and knows every detail. Izzy, that's the best part about it. And Dan, respectfully, even though I like the idea that you want me to do, I don't think I can do it because Max Asshole needs emotion, like real emotion, not the fake stuff that I do just for the character. I need to be buoyed by the emotion of the moment. So something like, hey, it's third and 75,

and then Miami has a penalty, so oops, first electric, oops, I'm sorry, did that happen? Aw, like I need those. You're the character who needs the electricity in order to throw out the lightning bolt. Exactly. Can we do this? Can we then do this?

Can we set up, by the end of this segment, he goes into the other room and we create the game scenarios that would create the hypothetical Max Asshole. Because he can summon the character very easily. It comes naturally to him. Let me explain something to you. He's playing himself. What? He's playing himself. What?

He's... Get out of here. I don't want to let anyone behind the curtain, okay? But this is exactly who he's going to be on Saturday when Mike Ryan is furious in his skybox because he bought Camelord for the hurricanes and wants to beat Georgia Tech. That's the beauty that Mike has probably spreadsheets

and he's hitting up insiders, getting information, up to date things, and I know this and he probably watched game film of Georgia Tech, they only like to run it to the left side 17% of the time and I'm like, we're gonna kick your ass! Is this an allegory for what just happened on Tuesday? What happened on Tuesday?

Mike started an entire business of information because he's frustrated that he doesn't get to talk enough about University of Miami around here unless they lose. The University of Miami is playing a really important game this weekend at a time when the program hasn't actually felt like this since Ed Reed was playing here in 2001. Even when the University of Miami was undefeated 10 and 0

with Mark Rick going to Pittsburgh, all of us knew that is not a real thing. That doesn't have the offense to win a championship. This is an exciting, fun football team. And one of the exciting, fun things about it is they could have three losses with calls going a different way even though they've clearly got the best quarterback in the sport.

That doesn't give you confidence going into these games. Like if you go through the history, yeah, they usually hiccup in these situations, but now it's just one final hurdle. They can do it exactly the same way they just did, falling behind and winning. as long as they win They're good And they probably will because of cam ward cam ward feels like he's got nine lives like a cat the problem is we're getting close

To like that ninth life or like can he do it again? They're down 3117 can he do it again? I have something that's gonna blow a means mind by the because he hasn't really been paying attention to Georgia Tech Mm-hmm. I think this may be the first time in history where we have backfield mates that share a name. Haynes King, Jamal Haynes, running back quarterback duo. Both have Haynes in their name. Wow. Jamal Haynes Black.

Yes. Okay, all right. His name is Jamal. Look man, that guy's name is Haynes King. Put it on the poll, are there any white Jamals at LeBotard show? One of the things that is interesting

about the Cam Lord experience, because this part is crazy, the most fun, interesting thing about this team to me, somehow more interesting and fun than even offense, which is a pretty great thing to have on your team, is everyone's arguing about whether they're any good or not. And it feels like the embers of the old days when they were actually better than everybody. This time Miami knows, eh, kind of fraughty, can't cover a running back.

But we got the best quarterback and people might remind you and he'll roll to his right 30 yards backward and throw that interception against Duke when the game is 39 31 it's a one possession game that's the most idiotic play I have ever seen in my life he can do it Saturday and people aren't gonna think that's so cute isn't this portal era about that excuse me about that exactly because you don't have the dynasty's you don't have the dynasties, you don't have the teams that are just loaded with talent all the way through third and fourth string,

so the team that ends up at the top is kinda gonna be like walking on eggshells the whole time and maybe not dominant? I love where college football is just because it's actually building the scaffolding around how it becomes even more professional football while we're all watching and yes you can buy a quarterback and all you've done is bought yourself right to the top of the playoff game.

Cam Ward is going to be so much return on investment if they get to the playoff just by paying whatever you paid him. Million dollar, whatever Mike paid him. A million dollars, $2 million, whatever it is, that's so much return on investment. I can't believe that guy was available to everybody. I can't believe that it was just a posturing negotiation whether he would go pro or come here before the season. But before we go into this game anymore, and I do want to talk about it some more, I need

to address this Jeremy situation as it relates to our young people problem. And Tony, I'm going to need young people problem. And Tony, I'm gonna need your help here. Amin, I think Amin and Izzy are with me. I sent a company-wide email the other day just really asking an assortment of varied people, can you vote on this? Can you 15 people vote on this? Lucy killed somebody on the show. I think it was Mary Hart of Entertainment Tonight.

And she was fined $50. She refused to pay, simply looked me in the face and said, I'm not paying. I've got a flight to catch. And that became a $51 fine. And so I threw it to a committee of 15 people by email. And I said, you guys vote. I don't have a vote.

Lucy does have a vote. Let's see where this vote comes back. Because I cannot have a fine bucket, which is probably an outdated thing from a time when rookies were razed. I'm going to take that shit out of her paycheck. That's right. Like, you can't deny the fine, but... I don't know about that.

But I need a vote. I need a vote. Izzy, you say, I don't know about that. I say, what would David Stern do? David Stern would do it, and then it might get overturned later because of an appeal, the union might file a grievance, whatever, but the reality is the message was sent.

You gotta send the message. Consequences be damned. Commissioner Stern was MFing somebody. MFing somebody? You think Jeremy would run around like that if Commissioner Stern were here? No way. You take it out of her check,

you give it back to her and her bonus. For all the times that she went off to do off-roading, that would be a simple thing to do. Roy, respectfully disagree. Okay. She's gotta file a grievance in order to get it back. You can't just give it back. She's gotta work to get it back.

Like, she's gotta get it back. Look, legally, you can't do it. But she's gotta go through the whole legal process to get it back. I don't know if legally I can't do it. I don't know how illegal the fine bucket is. I don't want to run a dictatorship around here. I am genuinely curious.

So everyone else has to pay the fine bucket. And it's an accepted thing when, if we're being honest, the only one who's been paying the fine for five years is me. Like, it's me. It's only me to everybody taking my money because everyone's like, I don't have it. Here's an IOU. I don't pay cash anymore. I'll vape. Oh yeah. It's an avalanche of excuses. This is a big corporate joke. I should have the rights as someone who created a company to throw the vote to a random Democratic 15 group of people. You

guys decide what should be the penalty here because I don't know it shouldn't be I Make a company. I can't make any of the rule Well, you that shouldn't be what that shouldn't be what it is You mentioned Lucy's young is she too young in this company to know that particular rule Did she know that the fine for killing somebody is $50? She knows that knows then that's spoken into it. If she's familiar with the rule and that's been spoken at some point on this show

with her on it, then I think that that is reasonable to require her to pay it. Your Honor, I don't think I can't just say, hey, I didn't know that was a rule. That's a Dave Chappelle bit. Hey, I didn't know I couldn't do that. Joke's on him, because I did know I couldn't do that. No, we're not doing that.

Look, hey, this is how culture is built. You think Pat Riley over there is like, oh, Jimmy Butler didn't know he couldn't do that. No. Get out of here. It should be noted that I, along with the other young people in this company, are presently staging a walkout. Dan, the strike begins Monday. Fans of the show who support me, who support the young people that work here, will be striking outside of the building. You can see my fellow coworkers Monday morning, nine o'clock.

Meet us out there, Biscayne Boulevard. Is this in support of Lucy or in support of Jeremy? I don't like how much access he has to microphones. I don't know how I curtail some of this. I'm going to start duct taping him to things because I need him talking just generally less and just far less okay with I'm coming in and I'm striking you.

I'll be here Monday by the way, Dan. You mother. I don't even know how he got through the door. You're close, Dan. You're gonna strike. Commissioner's turn strike you're gonna unionize your mother you're gonna unionize on me okay and you don't think I'm going to shut down your microphones you think you're gonna keep coming back in and out of the room with young people rule not over my dead body yeah Emperor Stern this is what you gotta do

you gotta you gotta hit him with a David Stern would always hit you not just with MF's but also some real fire language like he would say something like I Know where the bodies are buried. I know because I put them there Dan you need to get ahead of this. Okay hundred dollar fine for anybody who threatens to strike. Oh Okay, hundred dollar fine for anybody who threatens to strike. Oh Again there's nothing wrong with that. It's all right to work. Just take it out of their check. I won't even ask him It'll just be fine. I'm Sam You know what I mean? Take it out of her check. I've been deferred. Wait a minute for five years

I'm the only one spending the fine somebody around here stole the fine bucket. It had hundreds of only my dollars in it. An employee at this company stole that. I think it was one of the young people. Absolutely, that's who steals everything. Young people. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show, please. Do young people steal everything? They do.

I need you guys to help me with my Jeremy situation and my Lucy situation. And I also need, I mean, another room, and for us to create hypothetical situations, we debut Max Asshole. Not even on Max. Are we gonna be on Max at the end of the Max hour right now, or are we gonna be off Max?

I think we got one more segment. Because we only went short in the first segment. I think we got one more segment here. But I'm gonna say this, Dan. This is what I want. If we're gonna do Max Asshole, I think we got one more, because we only went short in the first segment, I think we got one more segment here. But I'm gonna say this, Dan, this is what I want. If we're gonna do Max Asshole, I need you guys to give me fictitious play-by-play of Georgia Tech Miami that I can then react to.

Okay, let's see if we can do that. I debut Max Asshole next. Howdy folks, it's Mike, it's football season, it's November, the leaves are turning colors and the pads are poppin'. From defending your favorite team after a bad loss, to obsessively checking your fantasy lineup, football fandom is bigger than just Sundays. Miller Lite knows the passion that comes with rooting for your team, like the debate that

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