The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Cuban Santa

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

We have two Super Bowl previews this weekend, but we have something more important to get to first: Cuban Santa. Mike Ryan isn't here because he's handing out bags for UM on National Signing Day, but Billy's worried he may be the Connor Stalions of the Miami program. Then, Ja Morant is back, Dan might need the Ticket Wizard, and we have a new Miami Seaquarium jingle. Plus, David Samson and his faulty tech are here to discuss Yoshinobu Yamamoto, yellow lights, and cooking shows. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Dunlabel Tarshall with the Stugat's Podcast. We have a Cuban Santa to get to. We have a Miami-C aquarium jingle to get to. We've got a couple of enormous football games this weekend between some of the very few teams in football that we know or think to be good. We think there are seven of them, four of them play each other, two of them, and not everyone is sure about the rare weekend and with two, not one, but two Super Bowl previews. How about that? Is that right? So we've got 49ers Ravens, got Dolphins, Cowboys, and Detroit Minnesota can't be a Super Bowl

preview. Same conference day. Cleveland and Houston can't be a Super Bowl preview. Jacksonville and Cleveland can't be a Super Bowl preview. Jacksonville and Cleveland can't be a Super Bowl preview. You identified the two. You did. You got them. A lot of people have, have doubts about the Cowboys and the dolphins, but I wanted to ask you guys because I think I feel it on me differently as somebody who is now self-employed and is running a business versus when I was an employee. Right. We are right now smack dab in the middle of America mailing it in at work week. Correct?

Like this is. All wanting bonuses. But this is right here. This is where salaried employees and people who have the comfort of healthcare and don't have to be at work every day so they know they're about to get a week off. And is this it right now though, because I didn't feel it as much on Monday and Tuesday. Mike took the day off today

because he just wants to be obsessed with signing day. Right, he's dropping off bags of cash. I mean, what is he doing in a sweatsuit, like the guy from Blue Chips? We gotta stop the sweatsuit. I gotta tell Mike, it's's either one or the other you can wear the top with something different He's not here right now. He's not here right now. I'm saying I'll tell him when he's here You can't wear the full thing the full outfit just kind of goofy. It's dad style right? It's Bob Huggins style. Once you've got you've given up once you've done the whole

Sweetsuit you've given up as someone who cares about anything. Hard to disagree. Put it on the pole, please. I really love to come. Put it on the pole, Judeo, at Lebitar Show. Once you've gone full jumpsuit, as an adult male, have you given up on all things? Dan, we were talking before the show,

and I'm wondering if you're as worried. I don't know if the word is worried that we're feeling about Mike, and it would be funny if it happened. We think that Mike might be UM's Connor Stallions. Like, we think that Mike might be the guy that's on the outskirts that they keep around. We're like, oh, you have,

here's a little bit of information, you're a big shot. And then when something goes down, he's being poised to be the fall guy. Like, he's the oneised to be the fall guy. Like he's the one that you see the movie about where it's like, oh, the president of the company isn't actually the president of the company. It's the president's wife that has all of these accounts and you know, this other country that we were, you know, laundering money through like, it seems like that may be what's possibly happening here with Mike. And I don't know if he's aware of that. But like, I think that we all came to the same realization today because he's setting

out tweets where he's like hinting at things like if he's, you know, wheeling and dealing, making all these big moves and we're like, buddy, you're going to be the first one to go down. I think if something, if something happens here, we gave as a company, Tyler Van Dyke, a bunch of money. I don't know if I'm implicated in whatever it is. You've created as a scenario for Mike being a fall guy. But you could see that that might happen, right? Like, can we warn him that this may happen? Like tread lightly, be careful. So they're giving him a couple of crumbs just to keep him happy. But he's really like, he's the fall guy when, when, when stuff goes down,

Mike's going to prison. Is that what you're saying? I think prison is a little strong. I mean, a fall guy usually goes to prison. I think white collar, put it on the pole, please that. He'll be playing tennis there. Does the fall guy usually go to prison? I don't know how to properly assess the lane that Mike Ryan is keeping with the University of Miami, but I've never seen anything like it. And it could end with him being Nevin Shapiro.

I suppose if he's doing secret fraudulent things, I can assess it. We have a tweet that we can show of Mike Ryan this morning, natural signing day, whispering talent acquisition and chills. So I think Connor Stallions is a proper. I see this paper trail though. That's like being left. Like this is not right. That's smart.

You can also see the rest of the paper trail with 299 a month by going into his secret Twitter account for only exclusive members so that you can get the real secret information because he is plugged in on what it is the University of Miami is doing. That's unquestionable. Tantier original question, it's tomorrow. Today is the last day of productivity. Tomorrow everyone is just, I am done with this shit. Yottoyaki atraohai, every single day for the rest of the year. Okay, that's how he says he is today. I'll do a live show next week too. I'll just do a live show next week, too. I'll just do a live show. We're gonna get Tony's top. Like you've had a live show on Sunday, you canceled, so you won't. I didn't cancel. The fiber optic cable in my building snapped underground.

What do you want me to do? I haven't had a lot of... I haven't had a lot of... I haven't had a lot of... I haven't had a lot of... I haven't had a lot of... Hey, five days. Hey, our family, our people made a boat cross the ocean to get...

or a truck cross the ocean to get here. And here you're talking about a little cable was broken. Go to the public library. You gave too much detail on the cable. Go to the McDonald's where the internet is free. A fiber optic guy here. He said that on a swim. Why do they decide to do that, buddy?

I can solve any problem. Oh, the internet didn't work. I can't fix it. But do you want it or do you want it? They sent two Cuban guys to fix it. Not one, but two. And neither of them fixed it. The second guy, you have family, go to your family's house

that their internet cable broke too. Everybody's in a cable got cut. Everyone's just running around cutting all your internet cables. Get outta here. It's always the second guy that fixes it. Do you want it or do you want it? It is just funny how helpless we feel when we lose internet. I just can't do anything.

I love it. I need to sit in a dark room. If internet love it. I need to sit in a dark room. If internet's gone, I need to sit in a dark room. Well, put it on the pole. Please, at Levitage Show, do you feel at your most helpless when you've lost internet? But I will say I had a remarkably helpless experience the other day, Stugat,

that I wonder if this, this way has happened to any of you listening because I've talked before about the one place where pain takes a second to get to your brain. You stub your toe, you know something bad is coming, and it takes a second. It doesn't get there immediately, but you know it is coming. The other day, I guess it was probably a month ago, I'm driving through a light and I'm

like caught right in between. And as I've made the decision to go and I'm going to be pretty close to running this red light, I see out of the corner of my eye that it says photos are taken here for people who run red lights. And so I what do you what do you shaking your head at Chris? I'm saying that I don't believe those anymore. There was a time a few years ago where I was getting I got a few tickets with that. I haven't got one of those in four or five years. It happened to me coming right off the cause way. They took a picture. They got me later. So dance right. He has every right to be concerned.

It was I don't know one of our last days of the Cleveland. I mean, every patriot knows that those are unconstitutional. That's a thing. There's some places that they've outlawed them, but the cameras stayed up like they're disconnected, but they're still there. So like effectively they're doing the same thing like security your house, you know, like a lot of people won't maybe not for you, but some people will put up cameras or things like that that aren't actually connected just to kind of scare people away a little bit. All right, you guys are doing this, but this is not the story.

Oh, they still work and they got me. But what I'm telling you is that as I'm going through, I've now caught it out of the corner of my, I see the flash that takes the picture of it. I feel violated, but now I have to wait. You put up a middle finger. I have to wait for the male to get there and completely violate me and wait till I tell you. You say that I committed the violation. Ah, the government violated me because the ticket was a hundred and fifty eight dollars 158 dollars All very and I'm like I didn't even know there were tickets that ran that high

For for something that wasn't a major infraction. That's low 150 dollars. Yeah, that did not love tickets good up there. Where you speed it? No, it doesn't measure speed It just it just takes a picture of you. Wait a minute. So I'm gonna, you're telling me that I've got an unconstitutional $158 fee that has nagged at me since I ran that light a month ago,

because I knew as soon as I ran it, now I've just got this general haunting around me. I've done something wrong. I've been caught by the government. And I feel like if democracy falls, it's going to be our entire life in about 20 years. Damn, I saw leave the world behind last night. Oh, old buddy.

Oh, buddy. Stugat's here for it. Didn't like that one. Stugat didn't like that movie. He wants to be told at the end what to think, even though I thought at the end they pretty much told it. Wrap it up with a bow, please. I mean, seriously, you did speak to a rush that I love because at this point in my life,

how many rushes do I get, right? Where I feel alive. When I'm approaching a yellow light and it's about to turn red and I'm like about to run a red light, that's a rush. And I love that feeling and I turn into a baseball umpire. If I get to the line before the turns red, I'm safe. I turn into like, I'm literally in my car driving alone. And I'll do this motion. If I make it, if I don't get to the white line by the time the red hits, I bang myself out. You're out

of here. Yeah. I will tell you this, you're $158. Take it gets bumped up to $262. If you fail to pay the ticket on time, it's standard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. $62 if you fail to pay the ticket on time. It's standard in state of Florida. Paul, Alex Hannah. Yeah. But that's not good. Here's your option though. Pay $158 to the government or pay $170 to a lawyer to take away your $158.

I believe the lawyer is cheaper than the $158. I think that's where it is. Take a wizard. I think that is where they make their money by being cheaper than the ticket. We used to be younger and co-it now where the ticket was. But you generally need a police officer to not show up. In this case, they've got photographic proof that is unconstitutional. They do not have proof.

They do not have proof of anything, Daniel. That is not you driving that car. Well, but that car is my responsibility. They don't have proof of me driving the car, but they do have proof that it is my car. Be worse if it was somebody else. Now what you know, which you can prove in Accordalong. I think I've told this story before, but I one time drove to Central Florida to fight a speeding ticket in a city I never visited. And the cop you have told the cops showed up. And I went with evidence that I was never in that town. And I couldn't even show up before the cop was like, never mind.

He just slank out of the courtroom. Yeah. Yeah. You had, I can picture you having like a briefcase of material. Oh, I was so ready. I watched suits for like a week beforehand. I imagine you being super eager like and disappointed that the cop just feared you and walked off

that you were ready. I had sun-hats receipts that showed I was by the airport in Miami that day. That's so great. Jammer and Randolph the court last night yelling, I kept receipts too. That was you walking into that courtroom. Is anyone else waiting for him to celebrate with a gun like in this week? He did a post yesterday before the game Good Vibes only where it was just him in a car dancing and I just put my hand on my head like, oh no, I started looking around. You're like, I know, he's like a hidden picture

and highlights magazine. Where is it? I know this isn't a surprise to anybody, but he makes kind of a huge difference. They win at New Orleans. They win last night. They've been totally irrelevant and the only reason they matter is because he exists. And further more still got very rare is the player of that size and the history of the sport that could get the game winner at the rim. That is not like Jimmy Butler doesn't get those. Jimmy Butler doesn't get them at the rim. Jimmy Butler's got to get jumpers and stuff that's further away from the rim.

But Jimmy Butler, I've seen precious little from much of anybody. I mean, I'm just bringing up Jimmy Butler because he's much bigger. Anybody in the history of the sport, that slight. It's basically Russell Westbrook and this guy in terms of your more athletic than everybody else, even though you weigh 185 pounds. He's so much fun to watch. They were down big after the first half in that game, but to see him hit that game winner, the way he hit that game winner, the kind of game he had, the coolest part was a celebration. He just stood there, arms folded, waiting for his teammates to come and hug him.

It was a really cool moment. He's spectacular. And when you talk about getting game winners at the rim like that, like my first thought of a smaller guy being able to do it would be Duane Wade, but John Morant is two inches shorter than Duane Wade, like to be able to do that at that size with that level of leap. Like he is a spectacular player. It's no wonder that Memphis has been largely awful without him for most of the year.

Don Lebertard, Kenzley Janssen. I gotta be careful here. Well, not just either. Let me start again. Stungatz, he's the closer. Comes in, ninth inning, closes the game out. His name is Kenley Jansen. He has blamed his recent...

DCC down, Lebatar Show with his two guards. We will get to this pub in Santa in a second, but Chris Cody, would you do me the favor for the national audience and the max audience that might not be familiar locally, the way we are with the Miami-Cequarium commercial or the Miami-Cequarium in general? The Miami-Cequarium is a profoundly sad amusement park

for dying animals who are engaged and should be free. And we pay tickets, we pay money to see a manatee or a whale in a tank that isn't kept very well. It's just a sad place that is sort of stuck in the 1980s and smells like it. Great jingle though. But here is the apportion of the jingle. And kids love it because they don't know that the mildewy cages of death are terribly sad and lacking in freedom for animals that would prefer to be out in a while. But we have produced a new commercial for the Miami-Cearium, a new jingle. ["I'm a Rear, there's not much left to see at Miami-C Aquarium." They'll see pork-blessing cages, pools of steel tears.

They'll learn about cruelty, as we take off their ears. Time's running out to see these animals alive at Miami-C-C aquarium get a lifetime guilty conscience with every regular admission of complicity. This offer lasts until the authorities comes flashing in. Taking off animal ears, your ears, why go as years? What's flashing ears? They're wild, they're soft, they're ears. All right, let me hear it again because I felt like I felt something. years. What's the question? They're wild. They're taking off their ears.

All right, let me hear it again because I felt like I felt something. It actually kind of adds to it. Don't they live longer in these things anyway? I do they? I don't know. I don't know. They definitely do. I mean, the sad, it's a sad longer life.

They are certainly preyed on life. It's in the wild to get eaten. That's right. And in the wild, they have to kill what they eat as opposed to having a hopeful trainer just come over and give them some sardine. Imagine if we had human Zeus. Or like, it was just like a human that's just been in captivity. We're on our way.

Sounds kind of nice. It's like, feed me every day. If there's a TV with Red Zone on, I'm okay. It's prison. I'm running out to see these animals alive, but Miami-C Aquarium! Get a lifetime guilty conscience with every regular admission of complicity this offer lasts until the authorities come splashing in I still don't know I still don't I heard ears if that is I still don't know as you say it whether you're saying ears or ears How are you guys all of you? Have young children here other than Jeremy and Tony?

How are you with Santa? Do the kids still believe in Santa? What's happening right now? Don't do this. Princess Claire? I'm just real. A much too late spoiler alert for everyone watching live in their car. I'm just asking the question.

Yes, my daughter does. My daughter is six. And it's a dangerous game because she's in school now, so she comes home and talks to kids. And it's just, yes, I'm getting to that point where I'm trying to protect the sanctity of Santa. Right. So on my, I wish it was the opposite, but so on my I'm trying to protect it.

But it's the working is what you're saying. Unfortunately, yes. Unfortunately, why unfortunately, what are you guys talking about? Real. I, I, I Santa is real. You're saying unfortunately yes. Unfortunately. Why unfortunately? What are you guys talking about real? I Santa is real, but I just don't want to, man. I'm sorry. I just saw him yesterday. Yeah.

I was like, we're surrounded by a bunch of little boys and girls who got cold for Christmas because they're wise, bad. Yeah. I can't allow her to believe that some white guy is coming into our house. Even persons. I'm sorry. He's my best friend, he's my mentor. He doesn't have to be white, tonic.

Well, that's what the media's saying. Can you introduce us? Take news media. Learn about cruelty. Can you introduce us to Cuban Santa, please? So here's the thing, Dan. Here in Miami, obviously, you go to different places when you're a kid and you get to see the mall Santa somewhere.

In Miami, it's totally different because it's our culture. So our Santa is represented by our culture. Like Roy's culture should be represented by his Santa. Like everybody gets to have their own Santa. This right here is my Santa. That's your Santa? That's my Santa.

I mean, he should be able to speak the language that your kids are understanding best. So what he said there is they want a cookie tour or whatever and he said, oh, be out there. So which is it's done. I got it. Don't worry about it. Does it fit in a box? I got you. Let's play it one more time. We're gonna play again. We're gonna play. How would you play it? I'll be there. I'm gonna play it one more time. I'm gonna play it one more time.

I'm gonna play it one more time. I'm gonna play it one more time. This is honestly the kind of thing that we need. I had a total opposite situation at the mall where my daughter this year is asking for a puppy. And you know, and I'm like, all right, you gotta go ask for Santa so she went up to Santa. She asked for a puppy and I see him and I'm like, all right, you gotta go ask for Santa, so she went up to Santa,

she asked for a puppy, and I see him. I'm like, kinda like, how's he gonna play this? He's like, I'm Santa, I do toys, I can't do a puppy. I'm like, so now I can't give her, like you just a, hey, shut your mouth, old man. Nod your head and say, hey, have you been good this year?

And Nod your head, you don't be a, you're affecting the way families do things. Play the part. And it's just like, he's like, no, you know, I can't make a dog. I only make toys with my house. Santa does have a workshop. You don't can't build a puppy in a workshop. How could he use a Santa?

You could produce anything. No, it's a great workshop. Santa could go and adopt a pet on your behalf and then take it to your daughter, but Santa can't build a puppy. So I'm assuming Santa said that because Santa has to check the availability. Lots of people like puppies this time of year.

I just need a lot of nodding from Santa. Have you been good this year? What would you like for Christmas? Okay. That's on your way, Missy. You want a bunch of yeses? You don't want nose. I don't need, oh, that's funny.

I can't do that. Claire has seen six different santa's in the past month. Oh boy. Six. Like speed dating with Santa. What's going on there? Isn't she suspicious? No.

Of what? I don't know. I don't know yet. I think so. Chris, what do you do? Because you don't know what Santa's going to bring your daughter. So like, do you get the things a puppy might need just in case Santa does bring the puppy? Because then if Santa's not able to procure this puppy, then you have all of these things

and you're kind of in a weird spot. No, I had to call an audible because she came running up to me afterwards and she's like, Santa doesn't do puppies. So I'm like, oh, I guess mommy and daddy will get that for you. So now it's not going to be from Santa. Like Santa ruined that. Guy was looking out for you because he doesn't know if you really want to get a dog or if you don't. So he's like, hey, be ready for me. Like, oh, we'll see. Oh, pretty girl. He's looking out for you. So Santa was looking out for mom and dad. Exactly.

Interesting twist. Put it on the pole. Please, Judeo at Levitard Show does Santa got a zip it and nod at the mall instead of giving away anything in the way of family secrets. I will also tell you guys that you want to break the news to your kids about Santa. There's no news to be broken. I'm just saying you don't want them to find out from anyone else. Stay ahead of it. I'm telling you, I mean, this place reminds me of two things workshop except it smells like mushrooms. It's a place that reminds me of how they want to hurt me.

Oh, I never told my kids anything about Santa. And yet here I still believe they still believe they're in college and they still believe in Santa as you should kids as everyone should tony jess and for a fiber optic cable or what no the cuban guy wrote for me how does this work tony you were supposed to be on sunday this is an avenue here have you noticed i told you the shenan sharp didn't need skip bailess and he doesn't need skip bailess and shenan sharp has climbed into a rarefied air here with just a handful of podcasts that we're lucky enough to be among because he's occupying the space immediately

after football games. He's doing something out west after football game that's entertaining with Ocho Sinko and you're competing against that Tony and he buried you on Sunday. You're competing in that time slot with Juju for that space and he had the fiber optics he needed. You always got from you with silence and not the appointed rounds. Can you imagine tuning in on your football Sunday for just about anything the pregame show, the post game show. Shanna Sharp was hurt, man. They put him on that stiff, starched old person set on CBS a long time ago that he couldn't fit into that pregame show hasn't changed Denny. It's old people television.

Shannon Sharp. And Nate Burleson didn't well. Shannon Sharp was doing what Nate Burleson was doing. Nate is so good. Trying to fit in. That's I mean, he's so good and the rest of that show is so not. It's an old person show CBS goes for that demo, but Shannon Sharp's career at that point was pretty dead. And now he has resurrected it because people like Tony can't keep up with their fiber optics. All they need to do is get on the air and you couldn't get on the air.

That is true. And I'll take the blame for that, even though the building was to blame, the fiber optic cable was to blame. But that's how important we blame more importantly we've beaten shan and sharp for 14 straight weeks this week we let them have one

I don't believe that by the way if you want to beat shan and sharp godless football is actually competing against shan and sharp in the category of the sports podcast awards for best American football podcasts you go to sports podcast awards for Best American Football Podcast. You go to sportspodcastgroup.com and vote for us there. You could vote for nothing personal as well there. David Samson is going to join us next to give you a little taste of sports and business. Samson up next. Don Lebertard. I think Larry Fitzgerald's on the green right there. Spugatz. That's all funds are repair of Oh, how do you think that they're just you? And the side, the side, the side. To be fair, you know.

To be fair. All right, what I mean. Alfonso Rivera has a great ass. This is the Dalé Batá Show with the Spugats. You got last night I sent Erlin Cody, Chris Cody and Greg Cody a text in which I said that Greg Cody's grace in defeat in the Turk off is one of the great surprises of my entire lifetime. That he did not go down swinging, yelling, screaming and furious. He just took it. Well, said Roy's was just better.

Chris Cody says he wrote back truly surprising, but I actually believe him. Roy's turkey was that damn good. And then Cody himself wrote, I just texted Roy that I would have been almost embarrassed to win. I thought my deep fried Cajun bird was really good as usual, but he hit upon a recipe well executed and nailed it. And somebody writes in here, Roy, saying of me, Dan's disrespect of Roy's turkey process was mildly infuriating. It was. It wasn't me as well. I mean, I think Roy, you would agree.

The first segment, we didn't start with a bang. Oh, okay. Yes, I can agree with that. Yes, sure. Yeah, really. Yeah, it's really. We're, we're, we're, we didn't start with a bang. Oh, okay, yes, I can agree with that, yes, for it. Yeah, this is where we're, we're, but he stuck the landing. That's all that matters. Here's the thing, I gotta get the turkey from the butcher and he's gonna be a fresh turkey.

I bought a store-bark turkey, which is frozen. I gotta be defrosted. It's the facts. And then I have the brine to think. So all that takes days. And then I have to prep the turkey the night before, so I can bring it in here to actually cook. So that's takes days. And then I have the prep to turkey the night before so I can bring it in here to actually cook. So that's the process.

Roy, my apologies, my apologies. I am wrong. You cooked something that if it did indeed deserve to take a week to cook, it was worth the wait. It was well made. It was, you showed great care. So thank you and I'm sorry that I mildly infuriated both the audience and cooks everywhere. I can basically only make eggs

and grilled cheese sandwiches. I know nothing of cooking. Oh, Jesus Christ. You voted for Cody's turkey. I did. He did. I'm not entirely too sure that you gave him Greg. I did. I did. I did. So you gave him the dry turkey. I gave him a piece of your bite of yours and a bite of Greg's. He chose Greg's. I mean, you know what? My turkey dry. I'm sorry for everything. Okay. So you win. It was a big win and my apologies. David Samson is with us now. And there are a number of things that I want to talk to him about.

Nothing personal as I've told you is the name of his podcast. It too is up. What are you smiling about, David Samson? Is he frozen? What's happening? What is happening with David Samson? Okay. The same thing that happens every week.

Fiber up the cable. Samson, why are you laughing? I'm laughing. It's unbelievable. It really is. This is wild. I don't understand. This time it seems like Wi-Fi. I don't understand. This is wild. I don't understand. This time it seems like Wi-Fi.

I don't understand. Say it again on Wi-Fi. Say it again, David. And I'm gonna let you go if it happens again. Go ahead. Who's that? That's. All right, you're out of here.

Yeah, you're right now. I don't know what's happening. Stop it. I don't, I don't know. David, we're really not messing with you. No, doing this on purpose. David, we're not. It's not a general metal-larking competence.

It's just happening only metal-lark incompetence. It's just happening only with you. No. All right, I think we're back. Let's try it again. Honestly, David, I know this looks like we are messing with you right now. I swear to you, we are not. The number of shows that I do per week would blow your mind.

All right, we're back. David, I don't care who's faulted is, it just keeps happening. So why were you laughing? Why are you laughing at us as I get to the top of the day? I know why he's laughing at us. What?

Go ahead, somebody answer my question. I'm laughing because I'm picturing you cooking eggs and cooking grilled cheese. And I too am the same way, except you have a different personal situation than I do. So I'm laughing that it doesn't matter if you're married, in the same way, except you have a different personal situation than I do. So I'm laughing that it doesn't matter if you're married, if you're divorced, if you have the most amazing wife, there are people who cook and people who don't, and it's totally binary. And that turkey cookoff didn't interest me because it's not something I could relate to because I can never do it.

You might not be interested, but one of the great things always in television is the show that they use big and loud with a giant famous guest on day one. And then by day three, it's a local chef and a recipe because of how popular on television, anything being cooked is. This is an enormous economy. It might as well, I'm going to, I'm going, it's not as big as sports, but cooking as entertainment

is pretty giant. People who like cooking like it the same way people who like sports like sports. But it's like looking at a commercial restaurant and thinking that if you make it, it'll look like it does on the box. If you knew the way these cooking shows, it's not actual food, I don't think. Like the commercials for a quarter pounder, that's not how quarter pounders look in real life because they're not using actual food.

That's true, actually. I've still got, I don't know if it is true. It is true, guys. Cooking challenges, they're not cooking fake food. No, the part that he's true, that he's part about the quarter pounder, he's right. No, yeah, that is fake so that it looks aesthetic, but the cooking challenges, they're making real meals.

Yes, but on your fast food commercials, when you're watching them, those are all things that are not edible. These are the whopper, the sandwiches, those are all made artistically and you cannot eat them. They're made to look better. No one can make them to look that good. Those dishes have to be cold by the time the judges get them

in all these cooking competitions. That's my only beef with all this stuff, is like they'll be trying stuff. And it's like, you know that thing's been sitting there for seven minutes and it's not hot anymore. So David, you don't like cooking shows because you're not like, you don't cook because you don't bake, you can't do it so you don't watch them. Because I feel like you can get something out of just watching people that are great at what they do and find entertainment in.

And almost admire it more because like like I can't do that. This person's great at this. Yeah. So it's to me, it's like watching paintry. So I don't watch like top America's next model or next top chef. None of those shows do I watch. Right. I watch Survivor though tonight's the survivor finale, which is always a bittersweet night

for me in the count. You can't really do that either though. I mean, I absolutely did that. I just got voted out very quickly. A week or two. I mean, you were out very quickly. You didn't as quick as possible, I believe. That's true.

No, I could have quick day one. I got voted out day three. Take us coffee. Take us through what is going forward. If you don't mind, take us through what's happening, please with Yam't mind take us through what's happening please with Yamamoto Oh, I would like to talk about Yamamoto, but can I teach you one thing first about your yellow lights for the audience? I think they'll be happy sure so the yellow light when you know a yellow light the length It's about one second per 10 miles per hour that the speed limit is on the road that you're driving

So if you're on a 55 mile an hour road, and there's a light that's turning yellow, it'll stay yellow for about five, five and a half seconds. If you're on a 25 mile an hour road, it'll stay yellow only for about two and a half to three seconds. So it's about one second per 10 miles per hour, so that's how you can judge whether you should floor it or stop. Dave, I can't do math while I'm driving that fast,

knowing where I'm going. So all I do is I look at the pedestrian sign. It usually has a countdown, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I know one, there's about a three second one where I can speed through that. He's talking about one to TLO. You're talking about before a TLO. Oh, once a Z yellow, I actually judge it by the turn and lane. If I'm at the turn and

lane, I can easily pass that light. Tony's actually right. Pre yellow, just look at the countdown clock. And then it once it gets to like five, you should be kind of probably slowing down. But like most of us turn into like fast and furious. We like start hitting naws, buttons in our car and like going as fast as we can to get through. It actually is pretty easy math if you think about it, but the other thing you have to do when you're going through yellow light, if you're thinking of stopping, make sure you look in the rear view mirror because the guy behind you may think you're going, and that's how a lot of people get rearended.

Yamamoto. So Yamamoto is a pitcher who is a Japanese pitcher, 25 years old, wins the Japanese version of the Sai Yung every single year. He's got four plus pitches, he's got seven teams after him, and someone's going to pay this guy $300 million, like a Garrett Cole type contract. And he's never pitched an inning in the big leagues. And I'm realizing the reason why this is happening, the desperation for pitching is so significant in a sport where starting pictures don't even go three times through

the lineup. They don't go eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, but baseball is trying to get back to starting pitching, mattering. So they're loving the fact that this could be an ace in the making. But for me, were I to be in position to sign a player of that stature? I'm not giving him a 10 year deal for $300 million because what if he becomes dice K? You don't believe in Kant mess, but people are behaving as if this person is Kant mess, and all you need is to bidders in a non-salary cap sport and everything will go crazy there. Who are the can't miss? I'm trying to think in my

lifetime. The Bronze James, Rice Harper. Who are the other absolute can't miss people? I mean, Shaq, it doesn't matter though, David, whether you think can't miss can't miss or can, matter, though, David, whether you think Kant, Miss, Kant, Miss or Ken, this person is going to restructure the way salaries work. Is he not? Well, he's restructuring only in that he's getting an amount of money without having proved anything. And it's great for the Japanese professionally because what players do who are here playing an MLB when they don't make it, like if you remember a Marlin named Dan Strelie, maybe a name you don't remember, but he was

a pitcher for the Marlins. And he went over to Korea and he has continued to have a career there. So people play overseas and you can sometimes come back like a Miles McElis with the St. Louis Cardinals. He came back and then got a huge contract for being good overseas. So it's a whole new world. We never really looked it at that way 25 years ago. We were much more suspect about the ability to move and lead to the other, but I guess starting with each row and going through a bunch of those Yankees

to knock on that Sui, etc. Then it's possible this guy. Love of God. Oh, man. All right, get rid of him. That's it. What were you going to ask him. That's it. What were you going to ask it to be so upset? What were you going to ask? Well, I'm just wondering who he's blaming in that scenario. Like the picture. Yes, he hasn't proved anything, but there are two teams more than two teams who think that picture could be really, really good. So how do you prevent it from happening? Everyone, everyone thinks everyone thinks that picture is good. Well, and he's pitched in professional baseball, right, where he was dominant and you have teams right now all across the league buying out their top prospects out of arbitration.

We saw it in Milwaukee. They paid their top prospect eight years. I think $82 million. He hasn't done anything on a major league field. So to take a guy who's a 25 year old professional who seems like a can't miss, when you have all these different bitters, it sort of just makes sense at market value to me. We have to stop with David Sampson during the max hour. Like, that's it, okay?

It's over. That's the last time that we're doing that. I don't know how many times we have to stumble over the same mistake. How many Cuban engineers and fiber optics people we have to send to his house to Jerry Rigget with an assortment of toilet paper and wires. It's one of the crazier things I've been a part of because we are working on this outside of the show. We're like, we have to test this.

It works perfectly. He does other podcasts and then he joins the Sour and it goes quiet and I have no explanation for him. And he thinks we're sabotaging him. I mean, he does. It would be funny if we just started doing that from now on, because our best joke is incompetence, and you guys have heard me for a while say the problem with your best joke being incompetence is if you don't have any other jokes, you're just incompetent.

I wanted to ask about Tommy DeVito's agent just getting the boot after this bad PR. He didn't get the boot. He didn't get the boot. He got the blame for it. And he's essentially, hey, you, you're not handling my marketing anymore. Did you do, did you do the boot because Italy's shaped like a boot?

Is that what you, That's right. No chance. There's no way he did that. And somehow I just connected. Somehow I just heard Samson. He's still here baby. Oh Jesus.

The shadowy hunting remains of Samson. All right. levitarnaeff.com. I'm still here.