The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Dan Doesn't Know Ball (feat. Amin Elhassan?)

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

"I will die for this program if I have to." After the self-loathing UM alumnus Dan Le Batard accuses Mike Ryan, the chair of the Division of Competitive Hostilities in the University of Miami's Department of War, of threatening to fight an old man, Mike explains why Dan's lack of ball-knowing may cost the show an interview with 5-Star General Mario Cristobal. Also, Roy is John Tesh, and Greg got lost on the way to the office. Today's cast: Dan, Greg, Zaslow, Chris, Jeremy, Mike, Roy, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The tequila. That invented tequila. Broximo, quervo.com. Please drink responsibly. Quervo. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlayes on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not a rule. Rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly.

Yeagermeister liqueur 35% alcohol by volume imported by Mass Yeagermeister U.S. White Plains, New York. Chris, have you ever in the history of this show walked in and seen anyone trying to fight your debt? because I walked in today and the argument that Mike and Greg Cody were having seemed like both of them were unhinged. I just caught pieces of it. I know what it was

about because I heard a few of the stray words and I heard a Cristobal reference, but what were you arguing and I know which side Mike's on, so where were you, what did you do to make Mike want to fight an old man? I don't know because we're on the same side here. We

We both feel strongly that the University of Miami deserves to be in the college football playoff. The disagreement, I think, is that he still thinks they're going to make it, and I don't. I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think they're going to make it. I think that's our only disagreement. Well, it seemed like you were disagreeing vociferously. I don't know how you do it. How long have you known this guy? Greg, how long have you known this guy?

A while. You have electively decided that this guy is someone you want to have in your life. He's been in my life for 20 years, and I'm at my wits end with this. Like, out the gates, lying, fake newsing, shit stirring. We were talking to Chris. I was talking to Chris. This happens all the time when we have University of Miami discussion. And I was speaking, and you interrupted me.

Yeah, but I was talking. What side is he on? What side is he on? I was speaking. And you get, what side you are. And I was talking to do that. I was talking to Chris. I was saying, true.

Why? Put his mic off. Turn it off. Turn it off. It's off. I was talking to Chris while I was talking to Greg. Shut your mouth. It's back on.

Do you know... Chris. Can I speak? What happens to everything around here if I shut my mouth? This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast. Weekend Observations is presented by Miller Light. That's right. If you're looking around and you say,

this doesn't look like a means on the show. I'm not, guess what? Dropping out of Georgia Tech? Turned out to be a mistake. Should have been an engineer. My internet would be better. I could fix it. Get on the roof.

Plug in some things. Dial in, tap into the satellite. I don't know what the... Whatever. All right. Here we go. Dan? Georgia Tech had the dream season.

Led by a Heisman-worthy quarterback with hopes of a college football playoff berth on the horizon. But with back-to-back losses, including one where I lost a bet to L. Duncan, just like that, make no mistake. I mean not giving a single flying precaution about college football is back. L. Duncan, making a bet to potentially wear Georgia Tech Gear on Sports Center, then leaving ESPN the next day, heady play. The Colts, losers of three of their last.

last four, still have the Seahawks, the Niners, and the Jacks twice left on their schedule. You hear that sound, Dano? That's the sound of a clock striking midnight. Pumpkin time. The Finns keep hope alive yet again. Told you, Greg Cody, stay strong. Diamond hands. For about a half of football, I thought the Raiders were actually going to beat the Chargers.

Progress. Look what they did to my boy, Gino. These are so much better when I'm interacting with a human being. Don't look now, but here come the Orlando Magic. It's like they exclusively play better when they're missing one of their best players. For about a half of football, I thought the Browns were actually going to beat the Niners. Improvement. Five minutes left in this?

I'm not doing this for five more minutes. What do you mean five minutes left in this? I thought he was doing great. He is lonely. He's defeated. It's like a bad stand-up bit. He tried so hard at the beginning, and now he can't do anything right, and he did this on the internet yesterday because his internet didn't work here. So he did it on our social media platforms, and it sounded really lonely.

It was the most depressing weekend observations I've heard. He was looking around the room as if he were suspicious. It's like a hostage video. He didn't have any help. He didn't have a half of football. It looks like he's laying down on a wooden floor. They suck. Situations to keep an eye on.

Since losing Trey Young in late October, the Hawks are 11 and 5 and have the 10th best defense in the league. 10th best defense? Good point. Good point. It's against Tyler Shuck. All right. Turn that down again. You can tell you six minutes left.

Tyler Shope. How was there more time left than there was left before when you told me there were five minutes left? It's getting longer? Roy. Well, what do you dress that? John Tesh. Striking resemblance. Really?

Look just like him. A couple of things are off about, you know, the resentence. No, no, no, no. What are they? He doesn't have to call it. The collar's different. You got to call it. Yeah, cufflinks.

I don't have a collar. That toupee looks great. That is great. It really does. Take that home. And the number one name of football, I'm still not sure I have a handle on. Bring that thing to be. Barry Sanders.

You get it because he's hard to attack. Seven minutes left? We're not known about the beeps, man. How are there seven minutes left to this? The beeps lift that whole thing up. It's a lot of the game due to minutes restriction. Knock knock. I really needed someone else

to interact here. Let me try. Let me try to do it. Knock knock. Who's there? The Carolina Panthers whom you declare to be dead your precious Rams whom you laud praise for at every step. I'm not very good at knock knock jokes. Yeah, that would have been better for Dan.

Turn it off. Enough. Enough of this. I got enough of this two weeks ago. I got enough of it yesterday. I've had enough of it today. I am not misrepresenting the conversation that Mike and Greg Cody has. Mike has declared himself a minister of war. He is, I hate the term war around football and sports, and Mike is warring right now.

Sometimes it's appropriate. He's warring right now with Texas governor. Ron DeSantis is stealing his shit. Ron DeSantis is stealing Mike's shit, and I'm convinced that everything Mario Cristobal does is with Mike Ryan's hand up his back. Because I'm getting some complaints. I'm getting some complaints around here. Chris Cody is telling me, hey, Cristobal is going to come on. I'm sure he's going to be doing like stand up at a local car wash trying to...

Mike, come on. He's going to be spent the next... I wouldn't be so sure. It's the reason why he may not. Okay, well, what's the reason he may not be on? It's you. You fool. That's right.

Yeah, yeah. You're seen as anti-U.M. Yeah, people know your whole deal. Anytime this program faces adversity, you try to work in a Billy Giller, Jeremy Tashay. That's your deal. To speak for an audience. When you're the Miami guy, you actually went to the school. You've been on the opposite side of the line, my friend.

You are the enemy. You're not an ally. Alumni hater. I hate myself. Yeah, you hate your, the fact that you want to you are. You're self-loathing alumni. I'm the alumni. I'm an alumni hater. Yeah. You haven't been an ally.

It's true. Where are you getting that from? You think the audience would answer that way? You think the audience. Where am I getting that? It's out there. My general. I know where you.

My five star general. Four stars. Four stars. Hey, five. Five. Five. How do you know? Not helping Dan.

Five. Five. Then what is Saban? He's also five. You can't go higher than five. That's why he's a four star. He's a four star. Okay, then give Saban six.

Saban says that we're the most dangerous team in the nation, so I'll give him a six star. I'd say Texas Tech is that. Texas Tech is the only team I believe. Why do they think I'm an enemy? I love Dan. Why do they think I'm an enemy? I believe that Texas Tech is the only team in the country, the only one that could have Miami not play a close game, that it's a possible outcome if they were to play Texas Tech.

I mean, you don't know ball. He doesn't know ball. And this is what I keep hearing from Coral Gables. Yep, same. Not a ball knower. They're not saying specific names, but they're just like, if we're going to do this, we can't have any non-ball knowers around. Texas Tech.

Texas Tech. Who lost to Sam Levitt on one foot, Texas Tech. No, but they were playing with their backup quarterback. Go ahead and let Miami play with their backup quarterback. Malachi Tony. They're going to play with Malachi Tony. You're welcome. The most dangerous weapon in the nation.

You got it. see that. Actually, I'd let them in the playoffs if they told me right now that Malachi, Tony, sight unseen was going to be the quarterback. I'd let them into the playoffs, just based on that alone. Never mind that Carson Beck is like top 10 in passing rating, and he's like the second best quarterback that we've had here in 25 years. I want to hear more, Chris, about your negotiations. I believe Mario Cristobo will be everywhere the next couple of days. I got a request. I mean, he's going to be everywhere. He did his first interview with

Mike Ryan on Kane's Insight. No, with the money. I was in the shadow. You with your hand up his back. No. No. But it was the second time you said that by the way. Stop saying that. It was interesting to be like, hey, Kentucky took Texas to OT. They just lost 410 while you were out there on the field dominating. You should work that in.

I'm really glad we've called out all of the horrible bias that exists in the media because we're the, you know, straight-edge, truthful media over here. Oh, shut up, asshole. You're the most biased guy. Jack shit over here, spewing. Like, I rewatched your clips. I'm now dumber for it. But every single one of your clips can be undone by something Miami is done on the field.

You want to talk about metrics, you want to talk about transit property, you want to talk about common opponents. Miami's got all the boxes check, pal, including the ones in the criteria outlined by the CFP themselves. Miami shouldn't be debated as a playoff team. It's a matter of fact. This is a playoff team, and it might just be the best team in the nation. You think I misrepresented your attitude when you were talking to Greg earlier before the show. If that is not your stance this week, then you're not with me. You're against me.

How dare you look me in the face and say I am not a ball? You don't know ball. You don't know ball. You're Texas Tech. Texas Tech. Ohio State, I can understand. Texas Tech. Spot the ball in Lubbock.

I triple dog dare you. I will say I thought they meant Jeremy. Texas Tech lost a game this season with their backup quarterback. Well, they better win this weekend because we need that BYU loss. They will win this weekend because they're a good deal better than BYU. Oh, God. I'm already. All right.

Well, BYU deserves it anyway. I mean, let's be real. Dan's argument yesterday for Miami was like, oh, they're going to have four losses in two years. How dare they be excluded? That's the exact same thing for BYU, except they'll have two top five laws. BYU, again, super easy to undercut your argument. BYU loss are one game by more combined points in Miami's loss. Who did they lose to?

They lost to Texas Tech. That's right. Yeah, Texas Tech. A great team. A great team. They're a good team. They're a good team. Me.

We've beat them. They're not better than us. True or false, Miami's playing better football right now than when they were the number two team nation. Yes. Correct. When we were ranked number two, but we're not biased. We were not playing this well. That's not biased, pal.

Those are facts. Those are facts. If you're not watching the game, here's what I know about you, you're not watching. No, they're playing better. I mean, who's BYU beat? I can admit they're playing better than they were when they lost to SMU. Who's BYU beat? Hey, ball no, we're socking to you.

Who's BYU beat? Who's Ohio State beat? Okay, but still, the defending national champion. I'm with Dan, they should be out. Like, it's fine, Ohio State being there. You could see they're awesome. I think they have, like, one of the longest streaks by winning by 15 points or more. The national champs are good.

Agree? So we all approve of Ohio State. Yeah, they're right. I can't believe you don't all agree on Texas Tech. I can't believe that. It's fine, but they wouldn't be Miami, dude. Like, this is what, this is usually not easily. Look, no, I'm not saying they would beat them easily.

You said that they would beat them by more than one score. Listen, what I said was Texas Tech is the only team in the country that I have seen that Miami might have a situation in which they would get blown out. There is no other team in the country. There are a mite in there. I don't think that there is another team in the country that I would say that about, including Ohio State. They're going to play close games. Miami is not going to get blown out by anybody. The possibility I do believe exists with Texas Tech to get blown out.

It doesn't mean that I actually think Texas Tech is better than them. I just think that in a game where two teams or even, Miami could also blow them out. But Texas Tech is the one team in the country I've seen where I'm like, oh, they can run up a score on people. See, Dan brings up a really interesting point there because there was a lot of mites that he threw in there between what might happen if Miami and Texas Tech play. We happen to know what did happen when Miami played Notre Dame. Hello. There's a lot of mites there might do this, might do that. Miami, Notre Dame.

I don't. We know exactly what happens. We know exactly what happens when they play SMU and Louisville as well. But they're not in the discussion. California beat. For reason. They're bad. Cal beat both of those teams.

Louisville's undefeated when they're healthy. Oh my God. And SMU doesn't lose conference games at home. And if you watch that game, which you didn't, they got screwed by the refs. That game got totally undone by one of the worst officiating games that you'll ever see in your entire life. But Miami learned from that. Miami put themselves in that position by playing a tight game, and since then, they have totally revolutionized the way that they play their game. Players have totally come online. Pringle is a

revelation. Pringle is an absolute weapon. We have unlocked Malachi, Tony, and it is a factual statement. Miami is playing much better right now than when they were the number two team in the nation. That is a fact-chat. It's the holiday season. Fantasy football probably not going your way like most of America. Your football team, hopefully you're still in the mix. If your college football team is in the mix, congratulations, you've made it this far. Why don't you toast your friends with some Miller Light at the holiday party?

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streaming now. Don Lebatard. Imagine if someone told you you couldn't have a Corvette. Stugats. I'm a grown-ass man who's not filthy rich. I can't afford a Lamborghini. Well, I probably can, but that's... Hey!

Wow! This is the Dan Lebatar show. This is the Don Lebatar show with these two gods. Let me put up on the screen some of the interactions that Mike Ryan is having as he... Mike had a wild day yesterday. Oh, he gets carried away

and he's gone after Texas's governor, called him wheels. Wait, wait, wait, let's not do it. Let's not take the air out of this. All right, here we go. This is where it starts. Take the air out of it. It's your move. It's one of your moves. Again, what side do you want? Yeah, all right. So, this is where it starts.

And our great governor, Ron DeSantis, saw this tweet that I put out there. Yeah, a great governor, tremendous governor, Ron DeSantis. I have that first. Dealing with the important issues. Yeah, so I found the principles, the outlined criteria on the CFP website. And it says, for those listening on audio, the committee will select the teams using a process that distinguishes among otherwise comparable teams by considering strength of schedule. Number one.

Head-to-head competition. By the way, if you're looking at strength of schedule, Miami is right there, neck and neck with Notre Dame. All right? So we're not talking about a wide gulf here. They're separated by one. Head-to-head competition is number two. Seemingly overlooked so far by the committee, even though it's written in their criteria. Comparative outcomes.

Does this matter like the order that they put it in? Is that order of importance? I don't know. But third on the list is comparative outcomes among common opponents. Well, guess what? Miami had several common opponents with Notre Dame, four of them to be exact, including each other, where Miami won. Four of them. Miami outscored.

all but one by more points than Notre Dame. So if you wanted to say, well, common opponents, Miami dominated that conversation as well. So I put out this criteria. If the CFP actually has principles they outlined in their criteria, then Miami is in. If dot, dot, dot, one hour later, our great governor, Ron DeSantis, kind of uses the template and goes with the same exact... Not kind of uses the template, does use the exact... How about that? Ripple.

Stole it from you. He did not have this. He did not have this in his phone. No. Will the CFP committee follow or ignore its own stated selection criteria? Great point by our tremendous Governor Ron. How about that? Thank you, Mike.

Ron, to plagiarizer. And so then Mike goes after Greg Abbott who does the same thing in Texas. Yeah, Greg Abbott then realizes, oh, governors are doing this. Let me take the original Mike Ryan's screen cap and let me – Texas is ridiculous three-loss ass. He went to overtime with Kentucky. These are CFP principal. And Mississippi State sneaky decent.

Texas. is at the top of these criteria, more than any team on the bubble, and then I had a response to that, where I kind of also added one of the principles, which was merely beat the Florida Gators. I took the same exact tile, and I put a bullet point. We can throw that up there because there was one regrettable thing that I did with my tweet, my response to Greg Abbott.

I called them wheels, which you already know because Dan totally undercut it. Greg Abbott famously in a wheelchair. He already knows it because you had hell of a day yesterday. This was all something that was on the Internet yesterday. Why is that an insult? He didn't wheelchair. You see how I added? Why is that an insult? I did a little cheeky thing.

I did a little cheeky thing here where in the principles I added in bold must-be the Florida Gators because we have a common opponent with Florida too. I don't know what the only wheel. Look, you added that. Look at that. I mean, I'm 3-0 in my last three games against a vaunted SEC, so I don't know what the big talk is. I think the ACC's harder. You apologized for this.

Yeah, I had to put out. Yeah, because, I mean, people were a little upset. I mean, he's in a wheelchair. You can't be calling him wheels. And I understand that. That is my bad. attribute it to the fog of war, so I put out a written apology. You should at least have capitalized the word wheels if you were making that a nickname for him.

War could be stressful. War is hell, Zaz. That's what I heard. And I put out this statement that is there for your perusal. If Dan, you'd like to read it from the audience. That's official Miami letterhead. Well, Miami Department of War is the letterhead. I don't believe that's official Miami letterhead.

Although it says Office of Public Communications and it reads official statement. This is from the school. It's from a golden cane. This is not from the school. This is from Mike Ryan. It's the official statement earlier today in the heat of spirited sports debate. I referred to Greg Abbott as wheels in a miscalculated attempt at jocular banter. Upon reflection, this phrasing did not accurately convey my intended sentiment. I should have simply called him a blast. This was my initial instinct. For this lapse in precision and clarity, I offer my sincere apology. The Miami Department of War remains committed to direct effective and unmistakable communication in all matters of conflict. athletic or otherwise. And I look up and I see

Roy dressed as John Tesh as all of this is inappropriate. Quite the statement because Mike doesn't like that word. I don't. If you know anything about me. What, the B word. We love the W word. Yeah. I was built for this. I've been on the front lines for four weeks. You ever see any of those war movies where they

find the isolated guy in a tower that's been there for a month and he's gone a little cuckoo? That's what I've been. While you guys, Johnny come lately's, but I'm so happy you guys found your ball. now that we're 10 and 2. It's great to have you here on the front lines. You sign this respectfully? Respectfully? I mean... You have to. How is wheels more offensive than

I don't like to use that word? I don't even like to hear it out loud, so can you not? Well, it's in the official statement from the Department of War though. On the school letterhead. Well, it's not school letterhead. Yeah, it's an official statement. I don't know. The MDOW. It's not, look. It's an OS. Just because you say something's official on the letter,

put it on the poll at Levitare. show, is something officially official if it reads official on the letterhead? Because I believe you all are... What kind of question is that? You are all saying that this is official, but I just see Department of War, which I don't think the University of Miami has one of those. Well, neither is America. The MDOW.

I don't believe any of that was respectful. I believe that I have an accurate appraisal of how I walked in here this morning, which is Mike Ryan screaming at Greg Cody and doing... What are you saying no for? He was screaming, what are they consistently saying? That is what he was, thank you. That is what the argument was. You said, you said something has been consistently said, and what I walked in on was Mike Ryan

screaming, what have they been consistent about? Well, the chairman of the CFP selection committee, who has not himself been consistent because it was a different dude the first week that we did this. He's been consistent in both directions, though. I'll give him that. What? Yes. The chairman of the.

of the committee, at first was saying the eye test goes to Notre Dame, they've been better lately, blah, blah, blah. And lately he's been saying, Miami is looking like the team we saw when they were five and oh. So he's acknowledging that the Keynes have turned it on right when they should late in the season. So he's been inconsistent, but he's been consistent in both directions. I'll give him that. Didn't Pat Rowley tell Danny Aange on official Miami Heat Letterhead to shut the

up and manage his own team? That is not correct. He sent out a team spokesman, the head of media relations, in order to do that. I don't think they put out a printed statement that also said that. Yeah, but Tesh's point is well, Taylor, that's what Roy looks like. Well, we'll look that up. I thought that they did, too, Roy. But, yeah, my beef there, and I wasn't yelling at Greg.

I was genuinely curious, what have they been consistent on? Because the criteria changes week to week. It changes team to team. When they tout the virtues of Notre Dame, it's all about quality losses. and you only have to skip down one spot to hear them talk about quality wins now. So did we! It's not about quality losses because Bama doesn't have a big-time quality loss when they went to Florida State. That's a really bad loss, but that doesn't help our argument.

We'd like to move the goalpost around here. There isn't a consistent criteria. All I know is what's on their website, and it says it values head-to-head. Now, you look at all the measurements. They have the same exact record. They have a bevy of common opponents. Miami is better than Notre Dame or right there with no. Notre Dame in pretty much every single analytics advanced measurement you want to use, including

the traditional win and loss. So did we! So when you look at the tiebreaker criteria, near the top is head-to-head. This one's easy, folks. It's cut and dry. Well, the reason that I think it's easy is different than the empirical ones that you're citing, I simply believe that I ask, anybody who's been watching college football, On Saturdays this year, do you think Miami is one of the 12 best teams in the country?

Everyone is saying yes, who's not biased by whatever their allegiance is on. There's only one person who's not. There's a lot of bias. So if you look at the AP, there was a guy that covers the AAC, and he has North Texas at 11 and Miami at 20. Even though North Texas got beat up. They have the best quarterback. Well, they got beat up by USF, who Miami beat, who also USF beat, beat Florida. in the swamp, something that Texas couldn't.

Texas is a clown show. They have a talented roster that they waste it because their head coach sucks. And for him to go out there and invoke Miami was thrown into the end zone at the end of the game after Norduzzi called a time out. Got one more loss than everybody else. You weren't ever dominant. Your big wins, you're barely getting it over the line. You're a joke of a team.

There are real teams talking here. See yourself out. And for you to take a shot at Mario Crissabal, do you know what you have, what the hell? have brought? Do you know? Do you know what you've done? Because Mario Cristobal is now going to join everybody. Head to head. And he's going head to head with you. We actually have a resume. You got three losses and a loss to a common opponent that we have dragged. You want to tell me about how hard it is to go into the swamp? Mario Cristobal is a very recent data point on that too. Head to head. So Sarkeesian did point out what some people have been pointing out, which is

at the end of the Virginia Tech game and Pittsburgh game, Miami was throwing into the end zone with decided games. Who cares? They should. Those minutes don't count? They told us that it counts. They told us that it counts. You have to do that now. They told us that all this stuff counts. Yes. It's called style points. I understand. Rooting the game. I understand why he was doing it. He still had his starters in at the end of the pit game. Damn right. He did. He's trying to win a national championship. They're trying to tell us what the criteria is. It's not our fault that they change it week to week.

But one of the things that we've heard is we have to be more impressive. especially against common opponents, so we've done that. Consistent both ways, as Greg Cody likes to say, that they've been consistent in opposite direction. They have. And you give them credit for that. No, I don't. I fault them for that.

No, you said before you gave them, you said you had to at least give them credit for that. Well, but look, the dichotomy is ridiculous. They're not consistent. They should be behind Miami. And by the way, Notre Dame just scored 70 points on somebody. On Syracuse. It's a one common opponent in which they outscored Miami. So it's not like Notre Dame's not running up the score.

No, Notre Dame, I believe Notre Dame to be a playoff team. Please stop summoning that Syracuse game. They're on their third string quarterback. They lost at home to North Carolina. They lost at home by 30 to Boston College. Please stop talking about Syracuse as if that's 70 to 7 means anything. I feel like a good way to gauge where we are with this. Last week, I believe Mike was ripping like local AP voters for voting Notre Dame over Miami.

I believe we named Jordan McPherson. Have we flipped him at least? I told you. That wasn't going to be a thing the following week. Didn't I tell you? Who accused me of being a non-ball knower? I want to know, is Mario Cristobal coming on this show? I don't know, Dan, you've done a lot of damage.

I've done what? You tell me, tell me what damage. I don't know what you do. Silence speaks volumes. It's not silence. It's not silence. It's any time this team runs up to any adversity. You try to bring Jeremy or Billy Gill to the proceedings and speak for an audience

that you think loves to drink my tears, which is fine. And that's a trade that you're making. You're more loyal to the audience than the University of Miami. me, I will give you that. I am not. My loyalties are laid out there. Damn, right. It's the you? What are you doing? And then, God.

Not a loyalist. Not a loyalist, Levitard. I'm surrounded by homers, and I want to know who's making the accusation that I am a non-ball-knower. It was just a note to if he joins, let's keep the non-ball-knowers. At ease corporal. Dan's the problem. I had a back and forth being like, don't worry, come on the show.

Look, this is important. I know we don't like Dan. I don't like Dan. All right? But you got to come on our platform. We need you on our platform. You need to use this and get your messaging out there. I'll be there.

Don't worry. Jonathan Zaslow will be there. You'll be surrounded by Bullnors. He likes me. Mario likes me. He loves you. I used you as a pitch. You're helpful.

Jeremy can't be in here. Oh, yeah, he's out. This time of year, it's a lot. Lights, noise, pumpkin spice, it's everywhere. But one feeling that we are all still chasing is coziness. And Bumbers has the socks, slippers, and teas, basically everything to get you there. There's something oddly therapeutic about a fresh pair of socks, and Bumbers knows that feeling and builds it into everything they make.

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Not a prime member, not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30-day free trials. The Cowboys and Lions Thursday at 7 p.m. Eastern. only on Prime video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com slash Amazon Prime for details. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlayes on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day.

Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth. Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Yeagermeister liqueur 35% alcohol by volume imported by mass Yeagermeister U.S. White Plains, New York. Don Lebertard. You are a fool.

You're nobody. You are an infant. You have nobody to me. I literally put together a freaking stage for your toenail. I am your career right now, pal. Look at me. I am your career. Stugats.

You have messed with me, David, and now you're messing with me, and I'm more dangerous, pal. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. I don't know if I like to be referred to as helpful, but your point is You were just like bragging, but I'm here. Yep, the unbiased. I mean, I'm pro you have. They're absolutely one of the 12 best teams. You are a homer, a helpful homer.

Look, you guys keep throwing these words out like Homer and bias, thinking that it affects me. And war. Everyone knows what I am. But I wear it on my sleeve. I am a proud Miami Hurricane Booster. I love this program. Pretty much more than anything that isn't a human being on this planet. And I will die for this program if I have to.

And I have shown you by sicking my neck out on the, on the, I would die. I would die. You shouldn't do that. I would die. That's war. It's an odd. Are you willing to die for your, for somebody who's ranked 13th? No, me.

Look, you want to call it ridiculous. This is how I live, all right? This has me devastated This is his life This has me You have to pick me up off the floor With a spatula when we lose to FIU And when we win number six

I will be elated Because it will be the greatest moment on my life That's who I am, pal I live life to the fullest Emotions on my sleeve You know exactly where I am How can you accuse me of bias and homerism When I tell you straight to your face who I am?

The volleyball team made the tournament Hell yeah Tom Brady was at the game the other day I can accuse you of homerism and bias when you tell me straight to my face that you're a biased homer. That's how I can do it. I'm an ally. And you've used Powell now three times this segment.

Yeah, that's how you know I'm mad. Well, I knew you were mad when I walked in here. Escalating tears. Don't make me say a word that I don't like to say. When I walked in here, I knew you were mad because you were threatening to fight an old man. I'm an ally. I know I've been a lot. I know I've been a lot and we've probably lost national audience here.

This is my life. I care deeply about it. I stuck my neck out for a week. ago when none of you people thought we'd go 10 and 2. It's very easy to find your voice now. Hold on a second. Just let me slow you down for a second and make everyone understand who it is your fighting when I come in here and you've practically got Greg Cody by the lapels. I want you to see what a text exchange I had with Greg Cody this weekend where I'm just simply trying to get him to lunch, lunch with a friend of ours, okay? And I've told him to meet us right here at the studio so I can make it all

easy for him. He drives twice a week. Yes. So go ahead and put the text up there that I have where I'm like you can park in front of the office and Greg asks me what office. Okay, so that's where we start. Who refers to the studio as an office? Am I wrong?

There's an office outside. I think in the context of what you were doing it was Where else? If you were meeting me at the, we already agreed that we were meeting at the Elser and I tell you it's at the office at the Elser, where else would it be other than the studio? How about use the word studio?

Okay, so I did that. I feel like you're just being a jerk, though, with what office? All right, no, but then the next step on this, I say the studio, and then he says, I thought I was supposed to just valet park and you're picking me up. And I tell him, don't text and drive, because he's already lost, and I can tell that he's having trouble just because he's an old man. And so he tells me that, look at the last text there. He got lost on the way to the office.

It's supposed to be a private text exchange, by the way. Betrayer over here. A couple wrong turns to somewhere you go every week. I followed Waze. That's messed up. Whoever leaked those private texts. Thank you, Mike. You can't be doing that.

It's ridiculous. Where's my privacy? You got some nerve, man. How do you get lost on the way to the... I'm suing somebody. How do you get lost on the way to the office? The studio. I didn't get lost.

Ways misdirected me. You know, I'm trying to... That's the problem with Ways. In order to save... Because Ways thinks you're going to save not. seconds. It reroutes you. So if you trust it, you trust it. No more do I trust it? No, but it asks you, do you want an updated route? You have to click yes. No way this was Ways' his fault. Well, how do you get lost on the way to the office? I'll say it again. Like,

you've been coming here for now a couple of years. If you start referring to it as a studio, I'll address you. He's called me, pal, a couple of times and told me to shut my mouth. We're not even an hour yet into the show. It's CFP rankings day. I'm on edge. I think my dad's deflecting because that lunch that he went with you on Friday caused major controversy in the PFPI. There were just picks not made because there was a Friday.

You said yesterday you forgot about the Friday game. So did the commissioner. So we had multiple teams not turn in picks. Multiple teams not turn in picks. Usually every week he's on top. Hey, these people don't have their picks in yet. And this week, no text. The game goes by.

We get a text of, oh, a couple people didn't make their picks. no accountability from the league. Yes, it is the responsibility of the teams to get their picks in. But every other week, you are on top of it. And you weren't this week. You clearly just forgot about the game. No accountability. Imagine if they just forgot to play the game.

Roger Goodell would come out and say, hey, the team should have showed up, but this is on me. I'm the face of this league. I'm the commissioner. So if New England and the Giants last night just forgot to play the game that's on the commissioner. You don't think Roger Goodell speaks today. If they just forgot to play the game of saying this will never happen again in my He's crazy. This is crazy.

No, he's about to blame. No, Greg, Greg, doesn't need to. He's going to blame Ways again? He was bad at me. He was mad at me for not telling the other team. So now he's blaming other teams in the league. Did you make your pick? Yes.

Okay, two of the three teams that did not make their pick were the giraffes and the Ferraris who live under your roof. Did you ever think? Why are you to, like, it's not my responsibility. You always tell us not to talk to each other about our picks. Okay, you're patently wrong. Just take a little accountability. It was a bad look for the PFBI.

Look, I don't, I, I, what do I have to wipe the ass of my teams? Just say, hey, bad look for the league. This is my league. I'm the face. No, no. See, look at this. No accountability. I would wipe the ass on my team any day twice on Saturday.

I say your hand was up his back and Tony got mad at me. I don't like that from you, though. Anybody else can say you? No accountability from the league. I forfeited a win for the three malcontents, the three narrative wells who refused to make the Friday pick. Just take a little accountability. Greg's defense.

Literally out to lunch. That Black Friday game doesn't sneak up on you. It does sneak up on you. But it's also not the NFL's first Black Friday day. Yeah. I believe it's the third. Right. So maybe you should have been on that.

I'm sorry. This is a new tradition for me. You're going to have to do it more than three years from me to know about. I got surprised by it on Friday. It's a weird start. Black Friday's a college football day. Out to lunch. Colorado versus Nebraska.

It's an Egg Bowl day. It's been an Egg Bowl day for a long time. Take a little accountability. How about you run from? It's your league. If I was commissioner, I would have been like, hey, bad look for the league. This won't happen again. It's a bad look for the three people who missed the pick.

Look at it. He won't take any responsibility. It's not a bad look for the league. It's the team members' responsibility to make their own picks on time. And you know it. You got you there. But every other week, you're on top of it. No, he got your ass, Chris.

It's over. It's over. The fight's over. And you know it and you're finished. We put it on the poll. Is it Black Friday without Colorado Nebraska? Also put it on the poll and you know it. Yes or no.

He got lost on the way to the office. The studio, and I did not get lost. I was derailed five minutes. How can you say you were not lost? You took a couple of wrong turns. Not even one, you took a couple. You took a couple. That's lost.

What do you mean? Nobody had known it if you hadn't betrayed my privacy by exposing our erstwhile private text exchange. The people who were waiting for you knew it because you were late. You were late by 30 minutes because you got lost. We were fashionably late. Like that. Miami time, we call it, Greg. We call it Miami time.

Plus, down here and downtown, it's a lot of one-way streets. You think you're going to be able to go one-way. You can't. You've got to go up two streets and make a right, so they make a left. Exactly. All of a sudden, there's a fire truck. You're like, where the hell this can come from? And then the Waze lady is telling me to take a U-turn.

It's a lady, huh? And I don't want to take a U-turn. So I am purposely rejecting her advice, and I continue to go for four or five miles until she continues to say the U-turn so finally I relent. It's not Waze's fault if she's telling you what to do and you're not doing.

Always had Ways as a guy. Now it makes sense. No, Zazz, don't do that. Don't do what. Come on. We know what you're doing. Come on. Greg's the one who put it out there.

I'm just backing them up. Okay. Thank you. Cook Daddy. I appreciate that. Thank you, Zaz. Always on my side. Zaslo.

I don't think you're following long. That's not true at all. I have failed to get to the Miami Heat today who had six blocks in the first quarter the clippers look so old they're playing so slow in the half court good thing they have their pick kawai hadn't played in ten games and then was on a minute's restriction not just that pick you've got the very listen to what's going to happen in this league because it's about to get ruined if oklahoma city stays healthy it's worse than when the warriors heads around they've lost one game and their point differential through 20

they're winning by an average of 15 points without playing their starters and They might get the number one pick, and they've got Phillies pick, too. They might have three picks in the lottery. They might have two picks. Wait a minute. Three, I only had, I thought they might have two picks in the top five if Philadelphia is bad enough. Is Philadelphia protected top three, I think maybe? I, they, the OKC is in a position where they might have, through 20 games, the best team anyone's ever seen.

20 and one. The defending champions have the best team. anyone's ever seen statistically through 20 games. They're winning by an average. Go look at the point differentials in the east and look at what OKC's point differential is because they're at 15 points a game. They're winning while not playing their fourth quarter starters and they might have the first pick and the fifth pick because the clippers are so dreadful.

Look at how happy he's at. It's just funny. It's just a funny thing. They're 20 and 1. They might also have the number and overall pick. Not funny. The one thing they don't have, though. is Davy on Mitchell.

What? Davy on Mitchell. I mean, he's making threes and he doesn't turn the ball over. Off night. It's pretty impressive. You know by that off night? How about 30 more points from Norman Powell? The L's at the end.

I don't know if those are. No? 30 more from Norman Powell. It's like a superhero. He's not Norman Powell. He's Norman Powell. Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.

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