The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Everybody's Got a Podcast

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

"What happens when you can’t harness the conflict?" Today's cast: Dan, Jonathan Zaslow, Roy, Billy, Jeremy, Jessica, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency, no interest over 36 months? Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient. Just like that. Yeah. No hassle. None.

That is super convenient. Sell your car to Carvana and swap hassle for convenience. Pick up these may apply. What is, Dax, are you? Tracking all our cars on Carvana Value Tracker on all our devices? Yes, Kristin, yes I am. Well, I've been looking for my phone for-

In Dax's domain, we see all. So we always know what our cars are worth. All of them? All of them. Value Surge trucks up 3.9%. That's a great offer. I know, sell? Sell.

Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Roy, I'm scared of backward cap Billy with the misch. Roy, I'm scared of backward cap Billy with the mischievous grin. And I'm scared of backward cap Billy

with the mischievous grin. Me? On a day that there's no Chris Cody. Oh, cause he's got a tight ship here. No Stugots, no Mike Ryan, no Lewis. It's just Billy. And now Billy's turned his. No Lewis. Lewis hasn't been to work now Billy's turned his. No Lewis.

Lewis hasn't been to work in three weeks. Where is he? He's been missing more than Stugats. Who are you to talk? Your brother was here working last week, and you weren't for some reason. I didn't approve that, by the way. I don't really understand.

We liked him better. Our vacation policy is not something that I totally get. But it seems nice. Some people get to never work, and other people never get to take vacation. And I'm always. So I, but it seems nice. Some people get to never work and other people never get to take vacation. And I'm always here. That's how it works. Well, wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Some people have kids also on spring break and they have to come in every day this week and they don't spend any time with their family. Mind to. That's how it works. Yep. And other people just went on vacation and they're back on vacation again now this week, so.

I don't understand our, I don't understand our policy. I know that you guys always think that I'm the hot dog meme pointing back at himself like the Spider-Man meme, but that I'm Tim Robinson. But I find myself wondering how it is we're going to withstand it. And in the breach steps superhero Jonathan Zazz. Yeah, where's Stu Gotts? Zazz looks like radio.

You said that the other day, what does that mean? It's mean, that's exactly what it is. Is it mean? It's not a compliment. No, I thought I'm looking handsome these days. I think you look great. Thank you. The bald look is definitely working for you.

All right, thank you. In outfit and demeanor, he looks like radio, I think you look great. Thank you. The bald look is definitely working for you. All right, thank you. In outfit and demeanor, he looks like radio. He comes in, look, I think I'm gonna start the show just asking Zaslow an assortment of questions so that we can get to know the Zaslow wardrobe, for example. Oh, my wife was not pleased with today's wardrobe. That's a great jacket.

Thank you. My wife was not happy. I go into the closet in the morning, I pick out whatever is the handiest, whatever is the closest, the lights are not on in the bedroom, it's early in the morning and she looks at me she goes that is a terrible, terrible outfit and I couldn't care less. What do I care? Who am I trying to impress? See, that's the thing. But I've got a lot of questions, because you guys have to understand that the Zaslow I know never wants to leave Cooper City. Oh, they got everything I need.

When he doesn't want to see the world, doesn't want to see Europe. My wife's going to Europe on Wednesday this week. I'm staying in Cooper City. And he's thrilled because he'll just watch Panther games. Where the hell is Cooper City? It's a suburb in Broward, and it's got everything I need, man. Publix and everything. Yeah, it's got a Publix, it's got a gas station in case I need to go somewhere.

It's got a liquor store. I'm good to go. I'm telling you that as close to Venice as Zazz will ever get if a college football game is not played there now that ESPN is making him travel, is one of those canals on the outskirts of Cooper City. Like that hill vacation there. He doesn't want... I'm going to ask a question here. How many coats do you... Like you've traveled with college football, when that experiment began,

how many coats did you own? It's a great question. I was not fully prepared for how cold the end of the college football season was gonna be. Like when I'm going to South Bend, Indiana, I was not prepared for that. I needed to do a much better job before next college football season. I was cold.

You didn't answer my question. Yeah, I don't have coats. I don't. Cooper City doesn't get that cold. You didn't own a coat before traveling for college football season? No, no. I was just wearing hooded sweatshirts, you know, and hope that does the trick. In Wisconsin? It was so cold. Ann Arbor, Michigan. It was really cold. This is the Don LeVittor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. Is everyone mad at March Madness? Not enough drama and

buzzer beaters and upsets and stories and fun and what, why are you making a face Tony? Come on because I don't like that. We get this once a year, okay? We have this incredible tournament where there's basketball everywhere and there's hoops everywhere and I got my wife being like,

are you really gonna watch college basketball? I'm like, yeah babe, it's March. That's what I do in March, we watch college hoops. And yeah, there hasn't been a ton of upsets. There haven't been a ton of buzzer readers. There have been a ton of the secret sauce, though. There is always the secret sauce of the white guy. Going into this tournament, I told you my analysis was

everyone's gonna shoot 35%. And so when you go and you watch St. John's, and God bless, God bless Kalapari here, who beats Self, he's gotta feel so good. He has to feel so good today, taking out Patino and Self at Arkansas. So everyone told you before St. John's, hey, they can't shoot threes and they can't shoot

free throws, can't do either of those. And it's like, okay, if they can't do those, that seems to be problematic in those pesky one-on-one situations that everyone's gonna get bothered by when they're gambling on these games. Does Calipari feel better right now than the Kentucky fan is angry? I mean, Cal missed the second, he lost the first round, well it was five consecutive years before he left there, and now, coaching his ass off, he's the best story of the tournament!

It is nuts that there are only four conferences remaining and one of them's there only because Duke's still there. Like otherwise, you'd have this dominated by all of these same teams and a lot of people see in that St. John's in Arkansas game, which is the one a lot of people were looking forward to. Oh my God, that's horrific. That is horrific to watch four for 41 from three.

You've never seen a tournament game where the shooting is that bad. And you realize that no matter how much money is in it, paid for it, or gambled on it, oh, they're not pros. They're learning how to play basketball. We're just betting on them younger. Like that's, oh, they're not good yet. It's almost like college kickers.

Like, where do the NFL kickers come from? Because every college kicker I see sucks. Terrible. Terrible. That's hard to do. It seems like a hard job. College kicking seems like that's not that easy just because the pros make... Steph makes it look like that so we get mad at Patino for not coaching St. John's better at threes. Like oh that's the damage that that does. Get some guy that can shoot three. The secret sauce you know every coach knows going into March I need one guy who's white who can shoot.

And Patino has none of them. I love the attention that Calipari's got. I know he's super polarizing. A lot of people don't like him. You could say that he underachieved, even though he won a national championship at Kentucky. Think of what Calipari's done this year. That Arkansas team was terrible to start the season.

Then they went to Lexington, the whole story. Patino's putting out a video. Don't boo Cal, you should treat him with respect. And Calabarty goes into Lexington and they kick the crap out of that Kentucky team. And then we get to the tournament, not only in the Sweet 16, but he beats Bill Self and Patino on the way. This is a grand slam of a year that Calabarty's at. How do I turn him down a little in the morning?

What do I need to do to turn the Zaslow down a little bit? I'm gonna be honest with you. I think I'm at exactly the right level right now. Yeah, he needs the energy. He's doing good. I mean, this is morning. He's here, he's getting ready. Why would you wanna do that?

I'll tell you why, thank you for asking. The games weren't worthy of that kind of enthusiasm. The enthusiasm that he is presently showing for this weekend's games. This weekend's games were a disappointment. Here's the thing though. I like what happened. I don't like all the upsets.

I don't like all the sin. I would like some madness. You know, we got the madness. There was no madness. Maryland was the only madness. There was no, okay, there was madness. Right, thatates. Now I would like some madness. You know, we got the madness. There was no madness. Maryland was the only madness. There was no, okay, there was madness. Right, that was it. There wasn't enough madness.

There was not enough madness, but I don't like all the upsets. I like when the big teams win. I want the huge matchups in the Sweet 16. I don't need a 12 versus an eight in the Sweet 16. I want the great games next weekend, and that's what we're getting now. I was fine with this weekend.

Okay, I wanna talk about a couple of the college basketball stories, but because this is the local hour, and I know one of the reasons that Zazz is fired up is that he doesn't like the people who are taking shots at Pat Riley, I would imagine. You wanna fight somebody, fight me. State, well, as I mentioned.

So the Miami Heat break a 10 game losing streak, the longest since 2008 last night. Great enough. Oh, that's what it looks like when you trade for Andrew Wiggins. Okay, that's what that was supposed to look like. That guy's a pretty good scorer, huh? 42 points, and against Charlotte,

in a game that means absolutely nothing, but that would help in the fourth quarter over the last month over the 10 losses. That's not the Wiggins that we have seen. That is not the Heat we have seen. The thing that I wanted to ask you guys about though, because I'm sure, as I can feel Jessica drift off to see, and I don't even blame her on just Miami Heat talk,

because I don't think anybody, I don't think. Well, it's a big game. it brought him to 11 games under 500. For that reason, I don't believe that anybody wants to hear Heat Talk. However, tomorrow there is a game that Jimmy Butler is saying is just another game that he's already been spotted in Miami playing dominoes and Zazz was scared of going into that game on an 11-game losing streak.

On national TV, games on TNT tomorrow. You think anyone would be talking about that? Jimmy Butler coming in, they've lost like a game since acquiring him, and the Heat on an 11-game losing skit, you think I need that in my life? So this is where we are with the Miami Heat, and I am torn though because about the only thing worth talking about, like none of these games matter.

Like we're gonna talk about Jimmy Butler. Denver, Houston was interesting yesterday and nobody cares. Like basketball people care. Basketball people are like, oh, that's an amazing story in Houston. Oh, Odoka just gets to turn it around like that we never find out what actually happened he cleans it up and he goes any fixes houston

but denver's better and denver's a champion and we all think denver can win the champion chip one none of us think that houston can win the championship but the sport is run at the moment by story lines by drama bike because that regular season game doesn't matter, because it doesn't matter whether Houston or Denver is two or three, we can talk about it, but it doesn't matter.

And so people latch on to the stuff like Jimmy's back in town. You're mad at people who are coming after Pat Riley? Yeah, and I'll give you a storyline, by the way, headlined tomorrow night on TNT. They could steal it from me if they want. Warriors, 0-1 over their last game. Heat, 1-0. You want a storyline.

Those are just facts. Lead with that. That's not a good lead. One team's hot, one team's not, Dan-o. Be fair. That's not a good lead. Be fair. No, I am mad, because you know what's hap-

You have everyone out there on their podcasts, everybody's got a podcast. Everyone's got a podcast. Don't you? Yes, but I'm a professional broadcaster, all right? Everyone's got a podcast. Don't you? Yes, but I'm a professional broadcaster, all right? Everyone's got a podcast. Also, because Miami Radio kicked me out, so I got a podcast, all right?

And everybody's got a podcast now, and everyone is taking pot shots at Pat Riley. It's like, all right, we've all been waiting, apparently, for the opportunity to finally be super critical and put Pat Riley out to pasture apparently and it should, you know how you know that everybody's been waiting because the Heat were in the finals two years ago. It's not like they were in the finals 22 years ago, they were in the finals two years ago. So the very first opportunity to take a shot

at Pat Riley, everybody's doing it now and I don't like it. Alright, so we've got plenty of Heat homers around here. I should explain to the people who may be new to us, as Zazz has to explain to his 16 year old son who david samson is that says is not just a miami radio legend i would nominate him for honorary shipping container member of the cause when seven ninety started when all of us started in radios as was there the first day original play uh... was there the first day doing what the shipping container would do for us for both for both shambhi and so

i believe that says is worthy of being an honorary shipping container member tony's shakes his head vigorously not it's just one you don't sit right here right i know i i'm explain it to you know i think you're gonna agree with me which is why you can't be a shipping container you sit on that side of the we sit on on this class system it's a class system it's a devotion for you you don't sit here and do your show here you sit there and do your show there so there's kind of a separation no no wait a minute wait a minute like I mean if you give a mean his choice he would rather be in there it's all it's I mean is though I mean is

a shipping container member that's that's the difference also I'm above a mean you're saying no yeah it time, but he's honorary here. Stugatz is also in the shipping container. I would say it's a, when I say honorary shipping container member, I'm bestowing upon him an honor from a group I have found historically distrustful about allowing others into the inner circle. It takes a minute.

Nobody's ever arrived here and just gets to be good with the shipping container. Do you trust me? I do. I do have a story about Zazz I've never mentioned on air ever. This is, this is actually a really good story. This is fun now. It's exciting. Okay. So I used to work at seven nineties as a, as a promotion, uh, assistant, right? And we would go. Yeah. This is not reflect well on me. Well, he was employed. He was employed as a promotion assistant. The working is. I mean, I did my job.

We went to like a car dealership, and I would have to spin the wheel, and all that stuff. A hustler. These were the beginnings of the Kaladiud hustle. Exactly right. Passed down from your father. All of a sudden, we're coming back from, I don't know, tropical Chevrolet somewhere far away, right?

We get there. It's nighttime. It's a heat game. And in the studio, I peek through, there used to be, in the 790 studio, there was a window like this big through the door, it was like a submarine door. And I looked in and they were on break,

and it was Zaslow and Tommy Tige. And I was like, oh my God. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe it, it's Zaslow and Tommy Tige. Tony, did it or did it not look like radio? Looked and smelled like radio. You should have walked down the other hallway. There's a giant glass.

There's like a fish tank. Well, yeah, but I wanted to like look into where the studio was. So like I was there and then I kind of poked my head in. And at the same time, Zazz is trying to throw a paper away. So he's shooting like a garbage jump shot where I'm opening the door. So as I opened the door, the garbage flings at me it misses me it hits the you made the shot by the way

Made it and I'm like, hey Zazz. Hey Tommy just big fan. Whatever didn't say anything Okay important detail you said I had the headphones on. Wow. So I don't know if he heard me or not. I didn't know if he was like. Okay, important detail. You said I had the headphones on? All right, come on. There's no way that I would just straight up ignore you. Regardless, getting back to the original content, he's, Tony had a nerve there. I'm just saying, I had never.

He threw garbage at you. He threw garbage at me and then didn't answer, man. Hey, I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan. Oh my God, it's John Thousand. You throw garbage at you. That was hello. He threw garbage at me and then didn't answer, man. And ignored him. Hey, I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan. Oh my God, it's John Thaslarvage. You throw garbage at you and it doesn't speak to you. That's the headline. Yeah.

Who does qualify as an honorary shipping container member? Mina. Has she ever even been in a shipping container? Yeah, she did Roy's Realm. Okay, oh, that's right. Forgive me, my apologies. I actually turned to Tommy Tige. I said, show him out, please.

Yeah. Don't make eye contact, kid, and get out of here. What is? Dax, are you? Tracking all our cars on Carvana Value Tracker on all our devices? Yes, Kristin, yes, I am. Well, I've been looking for my phone for- In DAX's domain, we see all. So we always know

what our cars are worth. All of them? All of them. Value search, trucks up 3.9%. That's a great offer. I know. Sell? Sell. Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today. Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today. Don Lebatard! To us residents. Oh wow! It's in there! It's better!

You think I haven't been practicing? Stugats! Oh! I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy chosen by... Brought to you by Headquarter Toyota. 441 Powerline Road. Second out of nine. This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats! 441 powerline road second out of nine.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the StuGats. Jeremy was doing his reports from the game yesterday and I saw him reporting on behalf of advancing through dancing. He was effervescent. Jeremy is bubbly as a sideline reporter, a perpetual enthusiasm. Yeah, I bring the energy, Dano. You know, it's my job to make sure that as the heater on on a 10 game losing streak, that's not reflected in the broadcast. We're here for people to have a great time, to enjoy each individual game, and if I can put a smile on somebody's face, I'm going to do that with my energy and my smiling face. get called heat homers and a criticism that was levied at me here recently as it regards Pat Riley is when I was saying that I got aggregated for saying

around here that Jimmy's unstable ingredient had made it so that when he left the heat organization there was a relief in the building and a lot of people and I understand why they would make this criticism, suggested that I'm just doing mouthpiece work on behalf of executives when I say that, but I wasn't even talking about executives, I was talking about employees. I'm not even talking about the players.

I was just talking about like relief in the building that whatever that tension was, I was talking simply about, the funny thing about the report and it getting aggregated is that people naturally assume, oh, Pat Riley's whimpering to Dan about how bad Jimmy was at the end. And it's like, no, I just talk, I know people who work there and they were like really uncomfortable, not just at the end, long before the end because of whatever it is.

Like I don't even know what it is to work in the secrecy of that building where you're not allowed to say anything about anything to anybody that basketball's this supreme holy thing that can't be touched. And whatever Jimmy's doing in that setting, Jimmy's getting whatever he wants. I ran into someone from the Heat at the beginning of the season, the very beginning of the season,

someone who I used to see all the time when I was on the broadcast, how you doing? Good to see you. How's everything going? You answered him, huh? And the answer was, everything's all right, you know, just dealing with Jimmy. And this was the very beginning of the season before anything became public with him being angry. His answer was, yeah, I mean it's good, just you know, dealing with Jimmy. Okay, so one of the things though, because I don't want to do revisionist history here, not only did that win, putting the coal in that furnace of conflict,

like this one to me is super, like super rich for study. Whatever you believe to be that organization over the last 20 years, it thrived in a way that would be really uncomfortable i think for most human beings in conflict okay i would not call it a toxic workplace but there is a boss over the conflict and the conflict is fuel the conflicts not bad

the conflict makes everyone who's fighting over money in minutes better the conflict makes everyone who's fighting over money in minutes better. The conflict makes everyone stronger, but you wouldn't want to work around it and the best of it was Jimmy and Jimmy wanted to fight you D and Spoh wanted to fight Jimmy and whatever the manifestations of that are every day. I don't think I'd like to work around it. I think I would crumble around it. Now, I'm weaker than the people in these workplaces. One of the reasons I love studying the arena is because, my God, they're all bigger, stronger, faster. They're all speeding up, learning, fighting for money

on what the height of competition is, where you've gotta earn your shit. You gotta earn, you've gotta, you've got to hunt and kill what you eat for your family and it's the top one percent of the top one first percent and conflict is the place you're going to get there and we're going to contain it

for culture for five years we're gonna ride that particular locomotive and then it explodes and what you're left with is a relief but also losing but also you're left with is a relief but also losing but also you're terrible so now what like what what do you do as a sports fan to put the two things together where you can say no man whatever Jimmy was doing maybe it wasn't

professional maybe you didn't like it maybe you didn't like it only when you couldn't totally harness it but whatever he was doing was the winning Like what at the center of it? It was him and he took it with him Yeah But I feel like I feel like the way that you're you're phrasing it is that the heat were were done with it And that's why Jimmy's gone. No the heat were totally good with it still happening Jimmy's the one who made them get rid of him. Like he was under contract for this season and essentially next season as well. The Heat by all

accounts wanted him to play out that entire contract. My point is in the age of player empowerment what happens when you can't harness the conflict? It's all fine when you can harness the conflict. Oh whatever you Dee and Jimmy might fight with Spoh. Ah it's good fine when you can harness the conflict all whatever you do you need to be my fight with spow that's good video it doesn't matter that was a long time ago what happens when you can't harness that i've told you guys the story before shack wanted to fight riley they escorted him out with security like they always do with employees but shack wanted to fight riley and wasn't allowed

back in the minute building rally will say of a conflict with the ones a morning where it seemed like a lot of morning was gonna punches coach because there was faith they were face-to-face you can say bleep you to me just teach me something when that's an environment i'm at i'm legitimately asking you guys what happens when you can't harness the conflict you trade him and the team falls apart because the culture is really just nonsense to sell

season tickets. It's all about the talent and when you get rid of the most talented players on your team you have off seasons that are not good and seasons that are bad. You're gonna take that Zazlo? I mean like it's an argument that we can go round and round about. I feel like you're saying it just to aggravate me that the culture is just something to sell tickets. Welcome to my world, my friend. Is it not? You're just trying to get under my skin here.

You're not talking about a franchise. You're not talking about a franchise that's been terrible for several years. Yes, this has been a bad year. And I kind of feel like I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt to fix it in the offseason now I think this is a huge offseason. I think it's an offseason like maybe they've never had before because of the Conversation around the team but it's one bad season that they've had now. Well cuz they're good, but they got rid of their star That's what I'm saying is the culture exists when you have another one. Yeah. And then the culture will be back. Yeah. They'll get another.

It's just talent. Well, it's, it's, it's hard to, you know, it's hard to do this when you don't have any one, any good players. They'll get another star. They've had, they've had how many different iterations of, you know, winning teams have they had with Pat Raleigh there? They've done it over and over again. They're gonna do it again. They'll get someone else this off season.

The reality is too, like, the emotional baggage of all of this and Andrew Wiggins missing half the games since he showed up, they haven't been able to get into a groove and it's been one bad season, but to act like Jimmy was maximized by this group and sort of the revisionist history because they didn't make certain transactions I think that's the weird part of this is Jimmy played the best basketball of his career and the most winning basketball of his career

with Spoh as his coach with Bam as his co-star, and with all of the surrounding pieces that they had, this isn't, this is just what happened. And so to look back at it now and act like he brought something to the organization and then took it with him when he left that was never there before. At worst it was 50-50. Right.

It was a great partnership. That's why there's so many people around the organization and within the fan base who were so frustrated by the things he said after the last Warriors game, sort of dismissing it as just like a cute little time that he had with some friends when he still hasn't said anything about the guys that were his co-stars. I think most people are frustrated by the fact that,

you know, he still hasn't said anything about a guy like Bam, who took every single bullet that you could imagine while Jimmy was there as sort of his shield the way Draymond is for Steph. I do wonder all the little things I do wonder what that was like behind the scenes because one of my well I mean something that I feel like is fair to be critical of Bam about when Jimmy was still here this year and Bam's the Captain it's like, why are you allowing this behavior? If you're Heat Culture guy,

and you're an extension of the coach, and you're an extension of Pat Riley, and you're the captain of the team, I don't feel like Udonis Haslam is allowing Jimmy Butler to go out into the game and shoot one-legged, fade-away three-pointers. But I don't know what's happening by this. Well, but again, I ask you,

what happens when you can't harness the conflict? Bam lived in service of Jimmy. Yep. Like. That's what it looks like. But no, but I mean, and it was rewarded for it. I mean, Bam does what PR asks him to do.

Bam is great team spokesman. Bam is nice. Bam is also not as aggressive as you'd like him to be. But if you're the captain of the team, how are you allowing a guy to be on the floor with you and actively not try? What's he gonna do? That part bothers me.

Fight him? When he's better than you, there's nothing you can do. Yeah, what are you gonna do? Like that's why, like from an outsider's perspective, that's why they roll their eyes at the whole culture stuff. Cause the culture exists as long as the superstar wants to indulge it and participate in the culture. He did not want to be participating in the culture.

And to what you guys are saying, everyone behind the scenes is like, well, we just have to kind of put up with whatever Jimmy's doing. So just dealing with him. Yeah, so then there's not actually a culture. No, I mean, they built a culture around what they did. They maximized the player.

They maximized all of the other guys around him. That work ethic never left those guys. And Jimmy was there working that way until they brought in his friend in Kyle Lowry and then those guys separated themselves from the locker room. You guys act like people don't work hard on other teams to make rosters. Like that's probably don't understand. I mean you can look around the entire NBA. There's nobody who has taken as many second round picks in the last decade and turned them into serviceable NBA players that have gotten contracts elsewhere

and with the team. Like it's silly to put it down as nothing, but also hyping it up as if it's the only thing that matters and that talent doesn't matter would be short sighted. Like I am not saying that they don't need better players on the roster to be able to compete for championships, but it's been about the little things that allow you

to be a five seed in the bubble that makes the run to the finals, that allows you to be an eight seed that makes the run to the finals. That's where you can hang your hat on it and you can laugh at it. And by the way, if you're nationally listening to this, you probably should because this will be the one opportunity to do so.

We don't have to hang a hat on. Because they'll come back. Roy you're totally right and I know you were talking to just me I know but you're totally right there's no need to hang a hat on that. Yeah why are we hanging a hat on? Why can't LeBron just have his cookies? Fly in the plane you just chocolate chip cookies and then it's fine. You know that story is bullshit come on.

What? Oh okay. LeBron? Get out of here. Why would he make that up? Why would Pat Riley, who doesn't travel with the team, send a text message to the servers on the plane and say, no more cookies? Culture.

What are you talking about? Billy actually moved away from the microphone as if something had exploded nearby, just because he, look, I would like to play these particular notes for the next two days, Billy, because I know you can get Zazz Lo easily agitated and you haven't had one of those. That's not what I'm doing.

We're just having a conversation about the heat, the culture, the cookies, etc. It's Monday morning. I feel good about the tournament. I feel good about the Panthers yesterday. The heat snapped that streak so they don't have to go into tomorrow with 11 game losing. That's right. I said that. I own that statement. And you get me riled up over nonsense here.

Cookies, you know that story's not true, it's stupid. Dan reported it was ice cream that they took away from LeBron. Took away. It was ice cream. He had a spoonful, he was about to put it in his mouth and the flight attendant slapped it out of his hand and they threw the, they opened the emergency exit

and threw the ice cream carton out the airplane. No, that's not how that went. I remember. Okay, I understand, but that's always because you're here to help. Hey everybody, it's Mike Ryan and how great is this weather? We're getting out of the coldest part of winter into the early onstage spring. I know down south the weather is perfect. It is perfect Miller Time weather.

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covers 99% of the U.S. population. 5G speeds not available in all areas. Don LeBretard. We didn't get to your guys' against the spread. You're right, you're right, you're right. I don't have it against the spread. Because I wasn't prepared for this segment. You need an Ian in your life.

You have actively played defense against me today in a way that has rarely been this undercutting. Stugats! Defense wins championships, baby. That's show business. This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats. My wife this weekend describes Santa as sexy because he just runs around giving you gifts and all he needs is cookies You just made me think of that because you brought up cookies and she's also got a type obviously. Yeah

I'm I'm better shaped here for Santa than anybody in our in our offices, correct? Yes, you're the biggest person just to know for Santa Biggest I'm just saying that Danny would be a good Santa yeah short Santa no but I don't feel it's gotta be big shanta I feel like yeah doesn't he he's got to carry the big how tall the sale how tall does how tall does Santa have to be he can't be Danny side why because Danny's like five five it's got six foot plus Santa's got to be over 65 inches some say I six foot plus Santa's got to be over six feet five inches I don't envision Santa's this giant. You're making it doesn't have to be a giant

He just can't be five five put it on the pole at LeBittard show can Santa be five I'll to get into chimney no, but he can contort his body in a different way. That's that's the whole different story I'm saying Danny's five five. Well, how tall is Danny? I don't know a tall He just said that's correct in my ear. Thank you Danny. You work with this person and so I... and so... Dan, Dan you got a good gauge for height. Well, so I think everyone listening to this would agree with the premise and would say to me, Dan you are correct. My child cannot believe in a 5'5". Santa, even if my child is. My child cannot believe in a five-five Santa, even if my child is small

and wants to have representation in the world. Santa can't be five-five. Also, he can't be five-five because then it feels like the elves would kind of rebel if they saw Santa as a little bit taller than them. They'd be like, hey, wait a second, you're not telling us what to do with him. Wait, how tall are they?

How tall are they? Small. Tell you what, a Jewish Santa would be five-five. Yeah, that's right. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show what, a Jewish Santa would be 5'5". Yeah, that's right. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show, would a Jewish Santa be 5'5"? Janta. So Michigan was eight and 24 with Juwan Howard.

That was kind of a really nice story, and then it wasn't. And next thing you know, I'm watching seven footers set screens for each other, and Michigan is in the sweet 16 because they did the thing. they got hot at the right time Dusty May good coach they ran they were yes there's that Tim Allen's 510 he played Santa okay that's a good height for him that's a good height for Santa I'm gonna look for the shortest Santa's and I when I do word association on Tim Allen I do cocaine trafficking ended up in prison just because it was so shocking to me to learn that the guy who was on home improvement Did did a ride in prison over cocaine sales? I think it woody from Toy Story, but to America to Americans to America's I

Just it was Jeremy just surprised by that Jeremy I learned that on a podcast like a month ago and simply could not believe it cuz also like Billy Woody or Santa Claus I was gonna say Woody is no Buzz Lightyear, right? Yeah. Yeah, right. We're right. Woody's Tom Hanks, of course So that you know what my mistake I think of the mugshot Dan where it's like him holding like the little letters that they put into like that thing and he's holding It there like that. You would like a Hawaiian shirt on or something, right? I would never catch Woody doing lines That's why you can't be Woody. I would love a Google Doc or something, or just a phone line where people can call in

with facts that shock them like that, because you all have them. You all have these little things that you learned about people, and I'd like to go around the room right now. In fact, if you guys needed to surprise somebody by saying to them uh... you know you're having a conversation about whatever and you've got a a fact in your arsenal that would be that you learned and it was shocking for

you to learn and then you felt the need to share it with somebody i should give you more time than this and more preparation that would be great that here's one tim allen made me think of it because I always say it when Tim Allen makes an appearance. It's the first thought that I have. Ed Asner was 5'7". He played Santa Claus. Ed Asner is pushing it. He was pushing it, the late Ed Asner.

And Lou Grant struck me as taller than that. He played bigger. He repped bigger. Lou Grant struck me as taller than that. Like he played bigger, he repped bigger. Lou Grant. It's like Draymond Green, he plays over his size. Yes, Ed Asner played bigger than, put it on the poll at Leviton Show, did Ed Asner play bigger than 5'7"? Defending Yanis, like, ah!

I mean, he did. He would, oh, that's a fine. That's a fine. That's a fine. That is so amateur. That's why you can't be an honorary shipping container member. We know back here that if you get the phone... Wow!

What an amateur mistake, Zaslow. Dan, have a top five for honorary shipping container member. Oh, you have a top five? Oh, this is very exciting. Yes, I would love a top five. Are you a member? Ha, buddy. Tracy Morgan's 5'9", he played Santa.

Any OLI? No OLI, we'll get straight to it. Number five, Taylor. Seems to always be hanging out underneath the desk here. If you live here, you're not gonna remember. Billy, did you vote on that? No. It's not his list, it's my list, Dan. Okay, sorry.

Number four, we gotta pay homage to the ones that came before us. Old Money Charlie. Old Money Charlie at four money Charlie Number three Izzy Izzy spent a lot of time here in the shipping container. We're very happy with Izzy He does occasionally go to the other side of the glass when he needs to but he's his home is here in the shipping container with us number two, I mean

Also a guy that can play both sides right he's here with us and then he goes in with Dan when he needs to and be Mr. Serious Guy. But then he can come back here and play with us when it's convenient for him. He's playing both sides. Playing both sides. Playing both sides. And number one, Bobby. Good list.

Okay, it's not a bad list, but the reason that I wanted to do it, because some of those people are actually in and out of the shipping container i was thinking of the entire story of going back to first day seven ninety not even saddam goes back that far i'm trying to go back and grab the people who would know the story of this show from the inside of it as if they were as if they were a shipping container member. Because that's why I'm nominating Zaslow. I'm nominating Zaslow because he understands the specifics

of how we do our show without needing to be taught any of it. So Andy King. Nobody knows who that is. Not even in the shipping container. Andy King, you're right about, but two people, you just mentioned a name that you'd be outvoted in your room

by people who simply don't know who you're talking about. Well, he was originally the executive producer before Ha came in and it became- But I'm also talking about, and forgive me for making all of the rules and definitions on this, but somebody that you guys would also respect enough as having understood what it is to do your job so you would welcome that person in. Look this is what

happens one of the things that happens in the friendships around our show or community is people meet immediately and because they have the show as language they can take a shortcut to oh we like some of the same things. That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Zazzle has a life experience that makes, I mean, we learned radio together. He learned and we learned how to do all this in the same place at the same time. Stu Gotts interviewed me for the job before 790 Ticket went on air.

He was the one I interviewed with and hired me. Andy King hired me. Stu Gotts hired me. Tim Con hired me. So guys hired me. Tim Conway was five six. Not Santa. Yeah, he played Santa. He played Santa? He's too thin to play Santa.

Okay, I mean, I'm looking at a list of actors who played Santa. I'm sorry, I'm sorry we attacked you. You're trying to though put me in the shipping container, but I feel like they're saying that I'm too big for the shipping container. That's what I said. Yeah, that's right. Almost directly. And what I'm too big for the shipping container. That's what I said almost directly. And what I'm saying is that they don't like you enough

to put you in the shipping container. There is no way I ignored you when you said hello to me. You didn't say anything back to me. It's a pattern. So that allows me to think that you ignored me. It's a pattern, I mean what's the other example to make it a pattern? You ignored me when I said you weren't in the shipping container, you were above it.

That was just today. Tim Conway, by the way doesn't really count. It was an animated film saving Santa 2013 Voice actor well you could do it if as a voice actor. I guess you could do it right I was It's okay to be five. He's got a bigger voice than five six Tim Conway. We can agree, right? No, I don't think we can agree with that Oh, but I don't think we also want to do a show about Tim Conway we can agree right? No I don't think we can agree with that. Oh. But I don't think we also want to do a show about Tim Conway but if you want to talk about old things there was one in sports this weekend that I don't want to go too much time more without addressing because in my career watching sports

figures rare is the genuine change I saw about what one man was versus what he became than the one that happened publicly with George Foreman, where he went from the most feared man in the universe, Mike Tyson, before Mike Tyson, to a jolly spokesman for things that you wanted to buy some, because, buy stuff from, because he was great at the ministry and great at really reaching the every man by trying to leave a minister's life, a minister's narcissistic heavyweight life where you have several kids and name all of them George, including your daughter Georgina, because he also had like a number of things from his past life that seeped into what some people thought was

dehydration, but he said was finding God and he changed his life from ever more to become a person who America remembers more for the second half of his career and what he invented than for what he did with his athletic gifts were enough that were enough to beat to to frighten Muhammad Ali and to make Muhammad Ali the boxer that he was because and only because he was able to beat George Foreman. Mm hmm. Yeah. I mean, it's one of the most famous boxing moments ever in Europa Dope but I feel like I feel like Barclays a similar trajectory there where like both of them were super nasty like Barclay was a nasty man

when he played and and A lot of people like my son my 16 year old son definitely only knows Barkley as the really cool guy the funny guy Who says whatever he wants on TNT like Barkley is pretty similar to George Foreman in that regard One of the things you were saying earlier about like the random facts that you know about somebody or something that you bring up The George Foreman grill thing is crazy have you heard that story before do you know thank you that is excellent producing by you Tony do we have the sound of Hulk Hogan saying they used to share an agent is it true that you passed on the George Foreman grill idea no it's not true I

missed the phone call what happened tell me Tell me the story. Well, I mean, you know, George Foreman and I had the same agent and my kids were complaining that I was always towards the end of the line, picking them up at school. They would get out of school at three o'clock and these soccer moms would start lining up their minivans and talking shop, you know? And so I would come a quarter to three,

15 minutes before my kids get out of school and I was at the back of the bus. So I went to McDonald McDonald's early got diet cokes and get the burgers and the fries and it was a big surprise I get to the school about quarter after two. I was the first one in line my kids came out They're all excited I had the drinks and the hamburgers and stuff and we went home and I checked my answer machine And my answer machine my agent called me goes hey Hogan. I'm calling you. I got two things I got a grill and I got a blender. I got these two choices for you and George.

So when I called him back, my agent says, well I called you first, and I figured you'd take the grill but you weren't home so I called George and he took the grill. So 450 million dollars later, we've got the George Foreman grill in every size and color you can imagine. And I got the blender that you put eight ounces of water, a scoop of protein and a double A battery in it and it would spin three times and fart and cut off.