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Local Hour: First Fake.. That's Crazy

January 17, 20250 comments♥ 0
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02:32 This is the Don LeBattor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. I would like to understand, because I've been asking Andrew Hawkins here for a while, to please teach me how to be a boss. I don't know how to be a boss. I don't understand how to be a boss. I've got a media company in Miami. Those are difficult. Not many of those, ever.
02:58 It's a little bit hard. Please teach me how to be a boss. And I'm listening to Trevor Noah and Josh Johnson talk about the boss should be voted by employee vote and I'm thinking I might want to do that around here is that a good idea or a bad idea to make the boss someone who would be the boss is going to end up winning that so probably a big mistake Josh Johnson the former Marlins pitcher Trevor Noah backup quarterback for the ravens i think i was a little maracas
03:28 three america actually uh... is that because indeed it's the daily show guys i wanted to talk to you about uh... what's going on in buffalo this weekend because it's one of these seismic epic games before they get really seismic in epic and i'm guessing most people listening to this that nobody wants Houston to win because you want the next round to like Houston is the team everybody in America wants to lose get out of here we want to see the big boys play and don't don't sneak up
03:55 on somebody and make this not about the Chiefs and that the Ravens or or you know the Ravens or the Bills have to go through the Chiefs to get past the Chiefs it's a Royal Rumble before WrestleMania. The winner of the Royal Rumble gets to punch his ticket to the main event of WrestleMania, but oftentimes Royal Rumble is better and more exciting than the main event of WrestleMania. That's what's happening.
04:17 The Ravens and Bills battling for a shot to finish their story and go through the guy that has been standing in their way for the last few years. That's good. That's good. I mean, the games might get worse as you get to the Super Bowl. We might be less interested every round.
04:34 Well, but it is possible, but it is possible given that football, maximum footballs and always surprises us and keeps the Super Bowl used to stink, used to be terrible. Now everything builds up to the moment where we're like all the football gets real this weekend everyone's in agreement like all this is there's no one sneaking in here like a tamp out here get some of these people out of here there's no don't get the about it you guys understand what i said that the point that i want to get to though because i find this all to be an imperfect measurement i don't know whether buffalo's better than baltimore i don't know i don is better than Baltimore. I don't know.
05:11 They both seem really, really good. But now you're putting it in the snow. And now it's a real field temperature of negative three. And I'm like, that's not how I want football to be played. Oh, shut up. This is how you, this is what the Bills have earned. This is how real football gets played in Buffalo. And they earned it by having a better season. Now the Ravens beat them straight up. Let's see if they can do it again in Buffalo's barn. Put your hand in the snow. Put your hand in the snow. I don't want to watch football in the snow, but it is cool to see the way that it's all shaped up. Like this is the football that you want you're neutralizing Lamar Jackson with negative three degrees He's from Papa. No, I know so if he overcomes this I know that's not what I want to watch What do you what do we want to watch about both these teams the quarterback position and when you have weather like this
05:58 They're incentivized to keep it in their hands and do what they do almost better than anybody else in the league and that's run the damn ball. This is great. Like 2003, everything was better in 2003. That's crazy. Am I right? All right. Let me explain something to you guys because what I'm talking about, I don't want to be sour on the game everyone's sweet on. That's not what I'm doing. Sounds like that's what you're doing. You're going to put a roof on this stadium and I don't like it. No, not this week, man.
06:26 This is perfect. The weather actually leans into the strengths of these teams. It leans into the best player. We're not calling plays. We're calling players. And that's what both these teams are lining up to do as a hopefully. God, man, it would really suck if Houston ends up
06:41 beating Kansas State. Don't say that. Because if the narrative is Patrick Mahomes is there waiting and watching, these two teams battle it out for a chance to take down their boogie man. It's, ah, man, this is great. This is the biggest game in a long time. You guys keep talking about that.
06:57 I'm going to text Aaron Foster right now. He has the script. The part that I don't like about what's happening here, Andrew, is that Mike Ryan is giving a lot of expertise about playoff football, about football in the snow, about real men playing real football, okay? I hear you, and then I hear on the set of Amazon Prime Richard Sherman saying, when we're talking about playoff football, no offense, Ryan Fitzpatrick.
07:24 You're Ryan Fitzpatrick here, and I'm asking andrew hawkins if the point of the games is to measure who's the best okay who's just the best the year that erin rogers the best i've ever seen it that one the super bowl was the year he got to go through only domes and those playoff numbers were insane because there were no elements it was a disadvantage for him to play at lambo it was a disadvantage for him to play in the snow because he couldn't be his regular kind of great mike ryan is asking for more and more of josh allen and lamar jackson is a tough
07:56 position they've given us more and more i want to see them at their best i don't want them challenged by the elements because one of them grew up a down here with us in this swamp. No excuses, Dan. I'm not buying it. I got a text back from Aaron Foster. He says, CJ Stroud's gonna have a hell of a game,
08:15 but at the end, Mahomes is gonna pull it out just like the script demands it. So don't worry, guys. We got it. Dan just wants to change the football calendar. Whether always impacts the playoffs, it always does. And that's, you overcome that. It's part of the things that you overcome. Is Dan, Dan, are you engagement farming right now?
08:34 I kind of feel like he's engagement farming. We were talking about this outside about the concept of people saying very kind of outlandish things just cause they want responses like unpopular opinion. Charles Barkley was better than Michael Porter Jr. And it's like, of course, but like you say unpopular opinion and everyone goes crazy. And now Dan is doing like the opposite. He's like, oh, you know what?
08:54 It sucks that the snow is happening. These guys should play in the dome. But the argument that I'm making is the elements actually lean into the strengths of these two unbelievable talents at quarterback. It's green eggs and ham, okay? And you're like, what the hell does that even mean? 2003 version of Hawk, I'll tell you what it means.
09:13 It's would you, could you in the snow? I would, I could in the snow. It doesn't matter. That's what playoff football is. Yeah, we want the best to be the best, but it should be any given day any element It does not matter if you are truly the best you line up wherever we're at whatever the elements are and I will beat you That's crazy kill. It's a wherever that wherever the elements where wherever they at wherever they at
09:37 Murder crazy you understand what I'm saying. It doesn't matter anyway. We could do it in Buffalo or Baltimore Eva He said you could do it in Buffalo or Baltimore either They say you could do it where anywhere? Oh, whoa. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy That's crazy murder murder tell him I Had no idea mean had that in his locker that might be his death That's crazy killer it's to America's dead you don't get it You talk about this snow murder That's wow, that's wow style
10:21 I thought the point of I thought the point of what we were doing in watching on weekends, you guys are telling me it's entertainment and I'm legitimately saying to you, if we're gonna analyze things all season, if we're gonna make this all about measurements at all times, who's the best? Is Josh Allen more MVP than Lamar Jackson is MVP? Yeah, good storyline, Dan, keep going.
10:42 Yeah, that's a great question to ask ourselves. If that's what we're doing around here. Did you know one was black and one was white, Dan? That'll probably get you some engagement. One was black and one was white. There's so much great drama around this game and to not have it be the game that actually defines your legacy, to just merely it be the game that actually defines
11:05 your legacy, to just merely get to the game that may define your legacy, it's just insane drama for a divisional round game, it's awesome. I do feel bad for the Houston Texans though. Cause no one wants them. They're like, get out, get out of here man. In other circumstance, everyone's going for the underdog here, we wanna see one of these
11:24 two teams playing Sunday evening in Buffalo get to the point where they have to go through Patrick Mahomes or CJ shroud ruins that I will resent him forever my favorite part is the like all the conversation that happens this year about who is the MVP between Lamar between Josh Allen two incredible players have had incredible seasons and for it to culminate in them having to go against each other, I've actually felt like the conversation about them has dropped this week. Almost like everybody who was arguing one side or the other is like, oh, excuse my language.
11:59 We're going to find out this week. So I can't say too much because there'll be an immediate, you're wrong. Whereas before it you could just, oh this guy's better, this has a better season. They're the better team, this is the better roster. We're gonna find out. It's a ladder match where the MVP is above the ring but it also gives you an opportunity at the world title. Tapping in, you're tapping in.
12:19 You're tapping in to your wrestling. I have a madden theory about Josh Allen and Lamar that I'd like to share. I kinda teased it a little bit before the show. Because there's so much, like so many people and like hey I'm a Lamar, Josh Allen is this, and where I am is they are two incredible players, like out of a lab.
12:39 And then I thought about it. And I asked people in the producer room and I said, hey, did you guys play Madden, did you create a player? And like, yeah I did. Well, who was your player? And the white guys are like, oh he was 6'5", 230, 99s everywhere, could run, could throw it across the hundred yards down the field. And then when I was a kid, my quarterback was about 6'2". He was lean, he ran like a wide receiver, he could throw it all over. And I feel like the Madden theory is whoever was your creative player when you were a kid
13:10 is who you are rooting for between Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson. Because they are two built in lab quarterbacks that you could only access if you had Madden 2003, Dan. This is a message from sponsor Intuit Turbo Tax. Guys, taxes was waiting and wondering and worrying if you're going to get any money back whatsoever. And then waiting wondering 2003 day. An expert will find your every deduction possible and file every form, every investment, every everything with 100% accuracy. All so you can get the most money back guaranteed. No waiting, no wondering, no worries. Now this is Taxes Get, an expert now on TurboTax.com.
13:57 Only available with TurboTax live, full service, real time updates only on iOS mobile app. See guaranteed details at TurboTax.com slash guarantees. Billy. Yes? You know what we've been talking about all season long? Smear it off? Yeah, how'd you guess?
14:14 I knew it. I'm a good guesser. You are. They are the official sponsor of the Dan Leventhal Show with Stu Gott. So you already know that it's an official vodka partner of the NFL and Super Bowl 59. We're gonna be there Oh, yes, I can't believe we're by 59 already. Yeah time flies. It does. Yes, we're old
14:32 Hey, you know what you got I was thinking yes since football season is winding down Super Bowl is coming up Super Bowl 59 We've been celebrating football all year. Mm-hmm. I have an idea what let's do a toast. Okay, oh wow. To football. Really? Yeah, me and you, let's toast football. So just a toast so we're raising our glasses. Yeah. Glasses up, yeah. Alright, and we are toasting to football. To football. To football everyone. What we love about Smirnoff is that you can get the world's number one vodka without breaking the bank. This feeling is what the good folks over at Smirnoff call. Billy, you want to take a stab at this? Yes. Smirnoff's extraordinary? Nailed it! I told you, I'm a good guesser. Oh my god. And right now Smirnoff has partnered with Complex,
15:15 letting fans get their hands on some amazing items hand picked by celebrities, including NFL legend and Super Bowl champion Vernon Davis for the unbelievable price of $12.99 just like a bottle of Smirnoff. So head on over to smirnoffdrops.com to check out upcoming drops and check out, oh Billy you want to take a guess again? These Smirnoff's extraordinary items. Oh look at us. What's the website? It is smirnoffdrop.com. Smirnoff, we do game days. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff, number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume.
15:51 The Smirnoff company, New York, New York, pricing is at the sole discretion of the retailer and may vary by state. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Billy. Yes? You know what we've been talking about all season long? Smirnoff? Yeah, how'd you guess? I knew it. I'm a good guesser. You are. They are the official sponsor of the Dan
16:13 Leventar Show with Stugato. You already know that it's an official vodka partner of the NFL and Super Bowl 59. We're gonna be there. Oh yes. I can't believe we're by 59 already. Yeah. Time flies. It does. Yes. We're old Hey, you know what? I was thinking yes since football season is winding down Super Bowl is coming up Super Bowl 59 We've been celebrating football all year. Mm-hmm. I have an idea. What let's do a toast. Okay. Oh wow to football Really? Yeah, me and you let's toast football. So just a toast. So we're raising our glasses Yeah, glasses up. Yeah. All right, and we are toasting to football. To football! To football everyone What we love about Smirnoff is that you can get the world's number one vodka without breaking the bank
16:55 This feeling is what the good folks over at Smirnoff call. Billy you want to take a stab at this? Yes, Smirnoff's extraordinary Nailed it! I told you I'm a good guesser. Oh my god. And right now, Smirnoff has partnered with Complex, letting fans get their hands on some amazing items handpicked by celebrities, including NFL legend and Super Bowl champion Vernon Davis for the unbelievable price of $12.99, just like a bottle of Smirnoff. So head on over to smirnoffdrops.com to check out upcoming drops and check out, Bill, you want to take a guess again? These... Smirnoff's extraordinary?
17:31 Items. Oh, look at us. What's the website? It is smirnoffdrop.com. Smirnoff, we do game days. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff, number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume this smirnoff company New York New York pricing is at the sole discretion of the retailer and
17:50 may vary by state please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Don libertard number three chick filet waffle fries. Love it. No, I think it's an overrated. You guys go ketchup or Chick-fil-A sauce when you have the Chick-fil-A. Polynesian sauce.
18:08 Polynesian. That's my brother right there. Good call. You're my brother. Stugats. Oh my god. What a weird interaction. White guys.
18:19 What, what, what, what, what? Wow. This is the Don LeVatarardt Show with the StuGats. Nothing to do with race, just mad. Just mad. It's all mad. It has nothing to do with race. You might have made your guy white if you were white.
18:35 You probably made your guy black if you were black, but it wasn't about race. It was trying to see yourself as the best quarterback in the world. You're seeing yourself as a quarterback killer. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. I can see myself in them? Oh, yeah. That's wow, yo.
18:50 That's wow, fam. Now I know what impression it means doing, but tell Jeremy. Guys, the thing that's funniest about what you're saying is, I don't know if this is the best houston texan season that there's ever been but it has the potential to be if they go on the road and beat kansas city and yet the situation there in is not just everything you're saying where no this
19:17 year we know the good teams we know who's actually good this will be that all great to see the great teams play against each other. Hey Texans, get out of the way. They're looking at the other conference so jealous of the Rams. Because the Rams, because people are looking at the Rams and they're like, yeah, go get them Rams. Go drag everyone down from behind. I know this sweet Detroit story. That city really wants the Lions to win.
19:40 That's nice. Philadelphia, you're spoiled. It'd be really nice if the Rams just hunt everyone down and ruin the nfc what's happening in football that the texans are looking at the rams that are jealous when this might be the best texans season there's ever been now i did find one scenario mike where it's ok for cd shroud to win on but this weekend right follow me if you will he beats patch mormon's
20:04 then he beats the winner of Lamar versus Josh, and then he wins the Super Bowl. And it's the beginning of a new story. At the moment, we're like, no, you ruined it. But then we realized at the end of it, like, oh no, this is the arrival of the next generation of superstar quarterback. So you got two guys tangled around the top rope
20:21 and they're tussling to eliminate the second to last guy and then a guy comes out of nowhere, just eliminates them both simultaneously and we've used the Royal Rumble now as a launch pad. Everything is wrestling. Hold on, let me check to Aaron Foster. I'm gonna ask him about that one. Can you guys tell me, I was very disappointed earlier
20:39 this week when we unveiled our Pat Riley statue after everything that happened with the Miami Heat and our statue it was just lacking generally not enough funds were spent on it we made a big deal about we're gonna have this statue and it's gonna lord over the arena it's gonna celebrate Pat Riley forever because this town should honor his greatness and shouldn't run someone like that out of town because of the whim of the moment from the diva of the moment.
21:06 What are you doing to me? Oh, Aaron Foster texted me asking about Ivermectin and Novovirus and I'm like, what does that have to do with who we're talking about? Rose is ready, is she out there right now? I'd like to go to live commentary, it is unpleasant out there. Oh, for the love of God.
21:22 The Pat Riley statue is in in in disrepair Can Rose hear me? Can Rose hear me Pat Riley appears to be undulating for some reason working? Rose can you give us a report? Why did this become a storm report? Can you give us a report from up there? Why is Pat Riley in such bad shape? from up there, why is Pat Riley in such bad shape? Because yesterday was optimal, the weather, and we were having a great talk with Pat, and today now it's raining, so we're trying to share
21:51 our umbrella together. So, keep your head up and down. Right, Pat? I don't know if you can talk now. Rose, do you know who Pat Riley is? I knew that's actually the... I thought this question might come up. Yeah, I actually asked.
22:12 He has something to do with movement with the heat. Movement, yes. I mean, yes. Yeah, that's right. He's moving right now. Yes. What do you imagine his job is with the heat making people move? He's going to decide whether the guy that wants to leave leaves.
22:32 Maybe not, that's part of the problem. Or stays? Yeah, who is that guy? Who is that guy? Give me butler. Give me butler. All right, thank you Rhodes. We appreciate it. Um... I thought you asked off the camera.
22:46 Give me butlers. Give me butlers. Give me butlers. All right. Thank you, Rose. We appreciate you. He knows her ice cats, not as much the heat. Look, we need a better statue.
22:55 Thank you, Rose. And I failed here. This was my fault from beginning to end. She was out there yesterday and it was sunny and it was beautiful and it was not windy and it was not rainy and I forgot to go to her because the first time I went to her with the statue, I was so disappointed by the statue. That's not honoring Pat Riley.
23:13 That's a- She's been up there for 36 hours. That's right. You guys have made a farce of this now, me trying to honor somebody at the end that, even people around here, Mike Ryan's commentary gets me compromised on not wanting to dishonor somebody at the end of their career just because they put
23:31 the standard in a place where you're gonna care about regular season games for 15 years around here because all of them are gonna matter. Welcome to my world, Dan. Mike Ryan putting you in compromising positions with his analysis of the heat. Hey, that's crazy. Hey, put him in compromising.
23:49 That is crazy, Murda. I love how the compromising position is just telling you like it is. I was actually having this conversation yesterday. Let's remove the expansion years from the equation. Certainly, for the Pat Riley years You can make it a solid argument that these last two seasons are the leanest years in franchise history When it comes to their their chances of being competitive
24:14 You can maybe highlight the the four or five seed years where they had Jermaine O'Neill and we were all just kind of biting Buying time before the the free agency But that wasn't even as long and as prolonged as this was. And even when they were bad, when Dion Waiters had that game winner, they still had the win streak in the season to get people excited and think like, man, if we only got in the playoffs,
24:35 this is so lean and so helpless and so boring that you could actually point to this and say, if it's not the leanest portion of Pat Riley's career, it's certainly top three, it's on the medal stand. Can Pat Riley's career, it's certainly top three. It's on the medal stand. Can I introduce you to someone named Michael Beasley? That was one year, one tanking year. No, and they also had the best player,
24:54 one of the best players in the world on their team to keep you locked in because yeah, I was thinking about like after they won the 06 championship, there was a slight rebuild, but they had Dwayne Wade, who was one of the top five players in the league at that time. What would they have right now? Let's hope Tyler Hero just increases his trade value?
25:10 Trade value. Dwayne Wade was amazing, yes. When I say Michael B, I'm not just talking about the year before they got him, I'm talking about after they got him too. That was some lean ass years. But they still had Dwayne Wade. That was lean cuisine.
25:21 They had a reason, like we know that we got the guy. We know that we have the franchise guy, and you always had the hope, like, if we make a move and we add to Dwayne Wade. That was lean cuisine. They had a reason, like we know that we got the guy. We know that we have the franchise guy and you always had the hope like if we make a move and we add to Dwayne Wade, we're good. Right now, you're just hoping that what Kevin Love posted on Instagram is true. It was lean rhymes. A lean Elhassen.
25:40 Lean greeny, damn. Come on, man. Lean greeny. Come on, man. Linguini. Come on, man. Come on. I miss that one. Linguini. No, I can't kick you out because it's time for First Fake.
25:51 Ready? I have to quit. Welcome to First Fake, presented by Tuffactin Tenactin. Jimmy Butler is where we're going to start even though people are tired of Yimmy Butler as we call him in Miami and many a household. People are tired of us talking about this and it's only going to get worse one would presume correct?
26:18 There are going to be little things in practices maybe Jimmy Butler has an amazing practice against Tyler Hero. Maybe there's a fight at practice, right? All of this stuff is gonna get dirtier before it gets clean, right? Like it's not gonna just, well, let me ask you. I was gonna say the moderator's talking way too much for this to be a format.
26:35 I'm sorry, this is the opposite of first. It's my turn! Jimmy Butler, I mean. Well, Dan Leviton, when you talk about Jimmy Butler, I mean, well Dan Leventhal, when you talk about Jimmy Butler, you're talking first of all of a player who's been a multiple time all NBA player, multiple time all defensive team, taking this team to the NBA finals twice, why not add? And now you mean to tell me he's the problem? You gotta be outta your mind.
27:07 That's just unacceptable. Jimmy Butler should be telling the Miami, he get me the help I need so I could take you where you need to go. Hey, yo, what is he talking about, murder? Huh? Hey, we down in talking about murder? Huh? We down in Miami. Yo, Jimmy got a chill for fam.
27:27 He got to stay where he at. Yo, I just spent a lot of years in Miami. Trust and believe. Okay, I've been there. I done did it all. I was in club dreams, club bed, mansion. I'm talking about when it was the real mansion and we had Denali's caddies on the block.
27:44 I'm talking about 20 deep but what I'm saying is hey yo Jimmy man what is we doing every three years you gonna try to just leave to a new TV have we not done this before oh yeah that's crazy come on man I'm just saying yo yo yo pack get your stuff together down there you in charge or not yo I can't imagine running the spot and I can't have control of nobody down there. You know what I'm saying? Yo, this man is wild, get him out of here.
28:11 You crazy, you say you gotta control him down there? Control him down there. Yo, get control of your people, yo. Can never be me. Dion Sanders to the Cowboys, this one feels suspicious to me. Jerry Jones is never gonna give up that much ego to that position. That's crazy.
28:32 That's crazy. Usually the moderator lobs it up for somebody. That's crazy. That's a question. It's your first time hosting a show? He's not Molly Carey. Murder. This man.
28:43 He folly Carey. Come on, yo. What is. He folly Carey. Come on, yo. What is he doing? That's crazy. He's Molly, not Carey. Hey, if I'm Prime, I'm going to Dallas. And if I'm Jerry Jones, I'm going to get Deion. Like, go get Prime.
28:57 He's jolly Carey because he fat. That's crazy. That's crazy. Murder. Jolly Carey is crazy. That's crazy. Murder. Jolly Cram is crazy. Juju, is Jolly just for fat people? At Levitard Show. I gotta ask Uncle Mike about this. He's gonna get D out back in Dallas.
29:19 You're prime in Dallas, yo. If I'm Jerry Jones, it's the only thing that makes sense. Who else can deal with his ego? You know what I'm saying? You got your owner who's the GM and it's cool to be the GM if you know how to pick players. He don't know how to do none of that. He said he don't know how to pick them. He don't know how to pick them. It ain't the X's and O's, it's the Jimmy's and the Joes. That's a saying all this time, Murda.
29:41 You know, so you get Deion in there get your door in there get Shiloh in there get Deon jr. he do the videos in Colorado don't uniform on him it's better than what we see out there now murder he's shooting the videos that's crazy everybody down there with the podcast and I like podcast we got a podcast we got the best podcasts in the game. But come on, we ain't out to having to tackle Derek Henry. Somebody gotta do your job, yo. Get Prime down there so we can get the players to do their jobs.
30:16 That's crazy. Who's under more pressure this weekend, Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson? Amin. Wait, hold on, what character? That's the problem with hosting this. No one considers the host. I don't know who I'm talking to.
30:35 Which character would you like to play? You mad, you mad. He got me. You mad. Bill O'Reilly, he look like a fat Bill O'Reilly. He look like a fat Bill O'Reilly. Let's try this again. He's a mean assassin.
30:50 I'm a mean assassin. Yo Dan, he's the man. He's a mean old bastard. Let's try this again. Get me some different imaging. Let's do this better, please. Welcome back to First Fake, presented by Circuit City. Who's under more pressure this week,
31:11 and Josh Allen or Lamar Jacken? Uh, Jacken. Yeah. What? What is that? Running back. Hey, yo, that's crazy. That's crazy.
31:21 Lamar Jacken is wild, son. He's saying. Lamar's jacket is absurd. What did he say Lamar was doing? Lamar Jacken. Hey yo that's wild. That's crazy. You wildin' Dan. That's crazy.
31:36 Hey yo Stat. Man said Lamar Jacken. Hey yo how you start this show to say let's do it right? And then come out with Lamar Jacken. That's crazy. He not Stat baby. He's crazy. Man said Lamar Jacken. How you stop this show to say let's do it right and then come out with Lamar Jacken? That's crazy. He not a stat baby, he fat baby.
31:54 That's wild son. Back to not caring about the moderator. That's crazy. Lamar Jacken is absurd. Try it again, run it back. I'll do it better this time. Try it back. I'm sorry, it's crazy. Lamar Jacken is absurd. Try it again, run it back. I'll do it better this time. Try it back. I'm sorry, it's live.
32:09 Mike didn't trust me on live. He said, Dan, don't do it live. It's too dangerous. I could have write a better joke. Welcome back to First Fake, presented by Circuit City. I'll tell you what happened last time too. I tripped on my way there.
32:23 Like, who am I gonna ask? Am I gonna ask Andrew Hawkins? Am I like I haven't gotten Shannon Sharp yet. I'd like Shannon Sharp. I wanted to do first fake with Shannon Sharp I didn't get that he's doing his own script. He's audible. Well I mean you said- Well it's really weird to spoof a show that I'm actually on. Yeah, could we address that? That's a humble brag.
32:42 That's a so I gotta go in the character. Two for two, I never got it this early. Hey, that's crazy. That's crazy. You said you never got it when? That's wild. That's crazy. That's on me.
32:58 That's on me. We never even address why I'm in 2003 garb. No, and don't. We'll get to that in the b-block yeah let me that never you guys no no we want the joke to stand for itself it speaks for itself it doesn't because I did it for liangelo ball well I'm not there yet oh so all right I'll do this better. Let's go. Welcome back to First Fake, presented by Circuit City. Andrew Hawkins, which ball brother is the biggest star?
33:41 I got to give props to Jello. Jello is the biggest star. Shout give props to jello jello's the biggest star shout out to Levar Ball and the ball in the ball and gang he in the hall of fame I'm from all of Maine we having breakfast but no club I'm not Charlemagne But no club, I'm not Charlamagne. It's Jello Ball. He's done the thing that we didn't expect, okay? He signed with Def Jam with a 2003 hit. That was my era. So if you wonder why I'm in the pink mic bandana,
34:19 long chain. Nobody was wondering. Everybody was wondering. They was wondering, Hawk, when was your era? It was 2003. That's when I came into myself. Hey, yo, that's crazy. Lamar Jackson?
34:32 That's wild. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. It's Jello Ball because you gotta look at it like this. Lamelo Ball could walk down the street. Hey, ain't nobody know him. It's like, yo, who is he? But you walk around the stereos and the cars is all bumpin' Jello. It's Jello. He famous because he got a top 10. What LaMelo bell gone? He playing his Charlotte. I lost the action there for a second.
35:04 That turned into I was jolly from going over there. No one knew you had it. I lost the accent there for a second. I turned into, I was jolly from going where? No one knew you had it. I didn't know you had this. I did not know you had this. You didn't know I had it? It's so hot in this coat. Where'd you even get that? Man, I had to go to the great lengths
35:22 to put all this together. Hey yo, he said he had to go to the great lengths. Crazy all this together. Hey, yo, he said he had to go to, that's crazy, killer. That's on me, that's on me, that's on me, mother. You had to go to great lengths. That's on me. Jello's the most famous ball brother, to put a button on that.
35:40 He signed with Def Jam. And also, he is the best athlete who is a musician of all time. Immediately, day one. Come on now. I can't get with you on that one. Prove me wrong, engagement forming. Prove me wrong. Hold on a second.
35:58 Unpopular opinion. Hold on, say it again. Say it again, look into a camera. Which camera does he need? Is my ISO? Okay. Let's, yes. Because you are saying something I have not heard anywhere else.
36:10 You are taking the take far too, far too taken. No, it's a take too far, I think. L'Angelo Ball is the best musician athlete in the world and of all time. Day one. I can't get with that, Killer. Who else? It's not the best athlete musician. It's the best musician athlete.
36:33 Athlete. So not athlete who wants to do music on the side. I'm talking about main source of income is music. Shaquille O'Neal music was way better. His music was way better. He had a track with Big. Jello ain't got no track with Big. Big's dead. I had a lot to do with it. But people knew about Shaq because of his athleticism and then it opened the door for his music really jello more people know him because of the music then his basketball prowess
37:10 that's cuz he couldn't play but that's what Hawk is saying no and that condition athlete then you could say what's his name Bruce Hornsby Dan will be the best athlete music well no did you not hear? He came out swinging in the middle of that. He hit us in the face with a guitar. The guitar of Bronson Arroyo is what... Yes! You guys didn't even hear that. It's the only thing Roy has said in 30 minutes.
37:36 And it was perfectly timed, but it was exactly not the winner in the conversation we're presently having. Can I introduce you to Barry Zito? That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. We've got a lot of- How about Julio Iglesias?
37:47 We've got a lot of guitar players in baseball. Bernie Williams. Yes. That's way better. But that's an athlete musician. You're not getting the game. It's gotta be a musician first. It's gotta be first job musician, second job.
37:59 I said Bruce Hornsby. Okay. He beat Allen Iverson one on one. Y'all think I'm playing. No, Allen Iverson one on one. Y'all think I'm playing. No, Allen Iverson is an athlete first, then came the music. You penalizing them for being nice on the court. They should have been scrubbed so they could win this argument. Come on, man. Master B has a case.
38:18 Yeah, he was a scrub on the court. Master B has a case. So all that, you gotta put the musicians in the room and then say, yo, who is the best athlete? Master B has a case. So all that, you gotta put the musicians in a room and then say, yo, who is the best athlete? He said Master B, that's crazy with a B. Hold on, Hawk, give me the list here. If you're making the argument, you're making it because you think it's unassailable. So who are the arguments against it that you would rebuff one after another?
38:41 I would put Master P in the argument. I would put Sam Hunt, country music artist who played quarterback at UAB and signed with the Kansas City Chiefs before going into country music. Julio Iglesias I got from Mike Ryan. Reserve goalkeeper for Real Madrid. That's legit, has to be legit. Toby Nwigwe who is a music, a rap artist who played linebacker at North Texas would be in there. I would put a- Two Chains?
39:11 Two Chains? Two Chains played calling basketball. They lost that to you. What is like a six five big though, I don't know. What are we doing with Nelly? He dominated Rock and Jock. He did dominate Rock and Jock, but I don't feel like he had like an,
39:23 he can't contend with the officials who have played at a high level. Jay Cole? Jay Cole? Played pro basketball. Do you think, all right, so do you think Jay Cole could beat LeAngelo Ball one on one? That's not what you asked me.
39:37 I gave you guys that could beat him one on one. That's crazy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Who's a better basketball player, J. Cole or Master P? J. Cole. Really? He is, but he has played overseas and Amin is also in the tank for J. Cole
39:54 because he would not say a negative word about J. Cole. Who has a better release? Love J. Cole. He's not a better basketball player than Master P. Yeah, but J. Cole's release, I don't know. Master P played for Houston? No. No. Yeah, Master P was a Division I basketball player than Master P. Yeah, that's J. Cole's release. I don't know. Master P played for Houston in college? No. Yeah, Master P was a Division I basketball player.
40:09 That was, it was all made up. What? No, it was. Go look it up. It was all made up. Master P was not a Division I basketball player? Master P created this myth in a time when the internet wasn't a thing.
40:20 And people just ran with it. You know why I don't believe that? Because three of Master P's kids are Division I basketball players and his nephew is starting at like Kansas or something. So let me get this straight. That's how genetics works. That is the reason why I believe that Master P was a Division I basketball player. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. You're good.
40:45 I mean, what are you alleging? I'm not alleging. This is, it's been debunked. This is, this is like saying, oh man, we never, we never figured out who shot JFK. They figured that out. We all know the answer to it. And so he didn't play college basketball. That was something that he said over and over again, like in interviews early on before people could fact check stuff.
41:08 And people just took it and ran with it, and no one ever fact checked it. It's like the whole Hakeem Olajuwon went to Houston because he landed at JFK and it was too cold. And then it's all mythology. I thought you were gonna say Olajuwon didn't play Division I basketball. Then I was like, okay, now I'm pretty certain.
41:23 I've never seen Andrew Hawkins undressed that way on American television. Yeah, that's the first time I've ever seen that happen I shattered his childhood. That's why you did I shattered his dream You shattered the dream of Master P being a division one basketball player who went on to play for the Charlotte Hornets in a preseason Game and dropped 20 So those are facts Jeremy whispered in my ear It says that he got us know he didn't get a scholarship They like they looked at they went to University of Houston Like was this guy ever like no none of it actually have so not even got a scholarship
41:51 You know dropped it and transferred it was never even recruited never that makes him an even better Athlete that he went to preseason with the Charlotte Hornets and dropped 18 in the fourth He dropped 18 in the fourth more missed. I don't know in the fourth he dropped 18 in the fourth more myth, I don't know It's the seat it's the seat look it up look it up he gets it wrong because he got it wrong I call it he gets undressed he gets undressed in front of everybody because he's got his facts wrong He's just out here spouting propaganda. You know what? I'm sorry to do this to you Hawk this actually no it does it hurts me it hurts me to do this you are minor penalty two minutes spreading propaganda then I have another answer for you and I think this one is unassailable
42:48 Prince Prince greatest music person athlete His preseason high for points was eight points Master P. Was that Toronto or Charlotte? That was in which he scored during his time with the Toronto Raptors against Vancouver. Billy Ray Cyrus got a baseball scholarship to Georgetown and later dropped out to become a musician. That one's up there. Cause he had hits in multiple different decades.
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