The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

The studio is abuzz with people all over the office fighting over who should have made the MLB Hall of Fame. Was Greg Cote the one voter who did NOT vote for Ichiro? Then, Billy wishes he could be put on house arrest just to get the relief of not having to make plans with anyone. Is house arrest actually our greatest form of freedom? Plus, snow in Tallahassee, Greg believes he could be a hype man, Jessica explains why the National Championship felt anti-climactic to some people, and we determine which Tight Ends would be most difficult to kill. Also, is Martin Short a good actor? Is he an immortal like Mark Andrews? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Wi-Fi, 15% off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without T-Mobile. Same goes from a water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm gonna leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better at tmobile.com slash travel. Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select US airlines deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply.

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And for more heartburn relief fun, be sure to follow Tums at Tums official on Instagram and Tik TOK shadow show, shadow show, shadow show, shadow show, shadow show, shadow show, shadow show,. Shadow Show. Shadowing it. Shadowing it. Stu Gutz, I've got a problem today. What happened? Greg Cody is in and I want to spend four hours talking about his shirt because he's wearing

the same shirt he was wearing last time and he looks good in his shirt and his wife should buy a dozen of them for him. All different colors because he shouldn't wear anything but this shirt for the rest of his life. And he knows it, and so he's wearing it all over the place. So what's the problem? Yeah, hold on, he's doing what you say he should do. Do it until you're satisfied.

Exactly. Thank you. Well, thank you, Billy, for the way that you expressed that, because the request I'm going to make of you is this. It is rare in 20 years as we celebrate our 20th anniversary that I come in here and I see Billy in bucking bronco form. He's got a sports topic in his teeth and he's screaming at a room full of people about Billy Wagner and the Hall of Fame.

And I have a Hall of Fame voter to my right. I have genuine indignation in the room nationally and internationally, that someone would dare to not vote for each hero for the Hall of Fame. That's fine. I know, I can't believe I didn't. Never thought I'd be the only one.

Don't do that, Craig, because people are not gonna know you're joking and they're looking for blood today. I don't think he's joking. I wish it were you, I mean. I know, I do too. We don't know that it's not, In fact, I think you should sink into it unless we're going to shame out this voter

because John Heyman in protection of all things sacred in baseball, it says each year a missed unanimity by one vote. Please step forward, you numbskull. Yeah. That is rough for Heyman. I mean mean that's as far as he'll go. Numbskull is the bridge too far on insult? No it's as far as John Heyman is willing to go so he's really pissed off. That's an old-timey insult, numbskull. I like it. Yeah that's from like the 60s. Bob Ryan was not too

thrilled about this situation either Dan. I don't know if you saw what he said. He said, whoever did not vote for each row in the baseball Hall of Fame election should have his or her voting rights revoked and should be placed under house arrest because clearly that person is unhinged and a clear danger to society. And to dipshit.

I wish they just ended it with and to dipshit. Just up the numbskull to dipshit. Two syllables is key. I like asswipe, buthit. Two syllables is key. I like ass wipe, but nums, Good one. Num skull is old. And it just means someone whose skull is numb. Like that's.

I'm guessing, I mean. I think num skull is free Stooges era. Yeah, I think so. How about house arrest though? I mean, seems a bit excessive. Well, you know, people are upset about this today. I can't believe this is what I walked into today. Football is gone and you guys immediately

lapsed into fighting about the Hall of Fame? Is it weird that there's some times that I hope for house arrest? I never looked up what it is. We all had that in 2020. Yeah, and I was fine. It didn't go well. No, I was OK. I don't know, Did you have that in Florida? What house arrest voluntary?

Seems like a breeze. Yeah, it just seems like a get out of jail free. I mean you're in jail I guess your house is your jail But it's like a get out of jail free card for certain things you don't want to do really I can't house arrest and then you show them a little ankle monitor like I should look up what you can do to get house Arrest and get out of as I said, he's a bucking bronco. Let look up what you can do to get house arrest and get out of that. As I said, he's a bucking bronco. Let's get started. I wanna ride this into the sky.

This is the Dan Leventor Show with the Stoogats Podcast. Have at it, Billy. Go ahead, give the people your baseball arguments. You've gotta- Oh, I thought we were doing house house arrest again because I looked it up you've got a quantified quantified Hall of Fame voter over here he's got a fight he's empirically one of the most powerful people at judgment in baseball and his ballot every year you've been doing it for how long now air in judgment I think I've had a vote for 10 or 12 years okay you're very well you're very proud of that vote I don't know on career prides decorated

legend decorated legendary did you hear that through the glass are you okay did you get some on your hand it looked it seemed like you looked at your hand in the sneeze. I've told people around here, Jessica, I've told people around here to have the microphones on at all time that your sneeze is comedic gold and we need to stop whenever it is present. We need to stop.

Thank God I'm wearing a waterproof jacket today. That sneezes all over my arm. Bless you. Thank you. Lehman got it for me in New Zealand. He was there for the World Cup last year. Yes. Notre Dame colors on purpose, yes?

Proudly, proudly Notre Dame today. Imagine if Notre Dame was a Nike school and we could have things like this all the time. Under Armour, you're on notice. There's two things in this world that you don't wanna check, but you gotta. When you use the restroom number two and when you sneeze in your hand.

You don't want to, but you gotta to look just to make sure everything yep everything make sure everything's fine it's fair oh don't act like you don't look that you have to look you're just checking making sure i said that's fair why are you lashing out at me billy but what are you checking on when you make sure everything makes sure everything's inside the bowl everything's kosher yeah there's no red just making sure everything's with the color it should beher. There's no red. Just making sure everything's the color it should be. Why not at home though? No, I'm saying you do it at any time you do it. Yeah, you check every time.

I'm with you. And like Jess just did, you sneeze in your hand. You don't wanna look. It wasn't my hand, it was my elbow. But you gotta check, you check the elbow. You just gotta make sure nothing. Have you ever seen red? Yeah, have you ever found anything concerning?

You know, no. I've passed out from the blood. What? Really? I'm sorry? That's a very vague statement. Blood from that situation? Just general blood? Please expand.

I don't know if I want to. You guys have gone a little bit far down this path. We did. A little further. Well, I then, yes, I ended to you guys have gone a little bit far down this path a little further Yeah, well well I then yes, I ended the proceedings the way that I did classic brown wave right, but you left us hanging Yeah, so I Would like the video department right now To find that video of Jessica Sneezing into her hand and see if there's some liquid and see if she checked it and see if it's on her sleeve

Video, please tell me that you'll have slow motion of Jessica sneezing I believe our show needs to stop immediately when the sneeze appears Jenny a flack before it and Notre Dame and Celebrate all things that are her allergies Jessica strikes me as the kind of person who actually says the word achoo when sneezing. Not many people do, but she does I think. Right. Achoo. Rare, yes, you're right.

Exactly. Thank you. Billy, I feel like some light insider trading you could get a little ankle monitor for. I don't, I look this up, I don't wanna go down the path of house arrest just because of what you need to do. So like fraud, embezzlement, shoplifting, bad checks, like, eh, okay, that's not that bad.

Driving under the influence, like, we don't want to do that. Unless it's like controlled, right, where you go to like a closed road and you self-report and you like tell the cop, hey, this is the time I'm gonna be here. I already put up the cones. No one's in danger. Exactly right, I is the time I'm gonna be here. I already put up the cones. That one's in danger. Exactly right, I'm just looking for some house arrest here.

I can't fulfill social obligations for the next, I don't know, six months to a year and a half or whatever. Just come over here, park by the side of the road, this is the deal. So we do it the safest way possible, right? Couldn't you just purposely, like, you drive sober but purposely fail a field sobriety test? I guess, but like, I think I won the whole experience.

Wow, that's a good idea. You have to have a clean record, you have to have strong ties to the community. You know that, right? It's a good idea. To get what? To get house arrest. House arrest?

Yes. I think I'm okay. You have a clean record? Yeah. Okay. I mean, until I have my fake Dewey, you know? So, Greg Cody is on board with being a soldier in your army marching toward house arrest, which is just,

can I be sedentary at home? Leave me alone for a while. I don't have to go anywhere. I don't have to do anything. I don't have to see people. I don't have to visit. I don't have to have to. Imagine having the ability to say,

I can't go out with you tonight. I know, but so Billy is saying, please. Can I just buy a house arrest monitor and put it on myself to tell people, hold on a second. They are for tonight. I know, but so Billy is saying, please. Can I just buy a house or a monitor and put it on myself to tell people, hold on a second. They are for sale. I looked it up. Really, how much? I'm seeing here, they're a little pricey, $220, $370.

I see a couple here. But really, what's the price of your freedom? Well, this is the thing. See if we can get a deal on two of those. So Guillermo, child of exiles, is willing to give up his freedom in exchange for, can I just stay home with my kids for a while? They'll be a prison of their own kind, but it'll be less complicated for me than

obligations and parties I have to go to elsewhere. Please just let me stay at home and not go anywhere and give me just the excuse that I can tell others, I'm sorry, I cannot entertain. It's a great out. I can't entertain time with you, I can't be with someone, I'm forbidden by law. We define freedom very differently. For you, freedom is not being under house arrest.

For me, freedom is. Yeah, it's your heaven. Exactly right. So you're saying- Looking into this noro and how I could spread it. You're saying that looking into this noro and how I could spread it. You're saying that at this point, your life, you would like it reduced to just your home so you can have the excuse of, I don't have to interact with anybody.

Yeah, I mean, I have a small home so it will get old after a while, but you know, for a week or two it's fine. But it's home. Man, the pandemic changed everything. It really did. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a whole lot of people realize, yeah, I'd just rather be home. I'd rather be home watching Netflix.

I think I was stressed out about the fact that I was taking it so well. If I'm looking back, I was like, I'm adapting to this very well. Something must be wrong with me, because everyone else is freaking out. And then obviously, the anxiety kicks in. It's like, well, what's wrong with me because everyone else is freaking out and then obviously the anxiety kicks in and it's like, well, what's wrong with me? Why am I not having stress over this situation?

I should be handling this much more poorly. It wasn't just because you were stuck at home, it's because you knew everyone else was. So it's not like you were missing out on, you know, any social obligations. I'm really good with FOMO. Like I don't have it. I'm fine with other people having fun on their own.

I don't feel like I need to be part of other people's fun. Yeah, I'm okay with that. You guys can go have your fun. Enjoy yourself. I hope you guys have a good time. I don't need to be part of it. Billy has gotten closer to happier recently, I think, I'm saying from afar, as he has shrunk his life.

I'm just going to be with these things that I love the most. I mean, I don't mind when they leave the house too. You know? It's real, like if I could, if I could be at my house by myself. Oh. Oh. It's like a vacation.

Exactly right. It's terrific. You have to start sending the family away, Billy. But you have to pretend like you're sad about it. Like, oh. Oh yeah, no, of course. Wait, Leman, you have to go on a work trip? Oh, that stinks.

Get me a jacket. Yeah, when my wife is traveling and she's away on business for two, Leman, you have to go on a work trip? Oh, that stinks. Get me a jacket. Yeah, when my wife is traveling and she's away on business for two, three days, it's the best time of the year. And that's nothing against her. Probably shouldn't say that out loud. That's fine. She knows. She's having a good time as well.

It's mutual. She's like, this is amazing. It's like a trial divorce. This hotel room is so quiet. Oh, believe me. Yeah, she probably does think that. She's not snoring. And more power to her. I do snore like a trial divorce. This hotel room is so quiet. Oh, believe me, yeah, she probably does think that. She's not snoring. And more power to her.

I do snore like a lumberjack. Same. But I've said this a couple times, and I'm sorry to cut you off, Craig, but the best sleep that I've gotten since my children were born was the night that I had to stay in the hospital because I had kidney stones and I stayed there alone.

And I've had a fear my entire life of being alone in the hospital But I was like well I have two young kids like don't don't stay like you need to be home with the kids take care of the kids like I'll Brave through this I will like this is one of my fears being alone in the hospital overnight But like I'll do it and I woke up and I was like Whoo? We get can we get another night of this like I haven't passed him yet Like how do we how do we hold this over one more day doc? I think I'm still feeling something here another stone. Yeah

It was great I mean the drugs helped Minor drug offense I think a lot of people are connecting with you I will say I want to tell everybody here, the Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody. With. Fine. Will give you coughs. If sneezes aren't enough here,

you can get coughs over there because they are consistently making me laugh. The dynamic between you guys, hee haw three, with coughs because right now comedically I'm not I don't think there's anything funnier going in comedy right now than saying the thing that makes Greg Cody laugh and then predicting when that laugh will become a cough. It's delayed. It's so sad. It morphs. I mean the idea that laughing would be the one thing that makes me cough is cruel. It's so sad. It morphs. I mean, the idea that laughing would be the one thing

that makes me cough is cruel. It's cruel and unusual punishment on the part of fate. Why'd you poop blood? It's a good question. Happens to the best of us. Colleges. We're all thinking about it, Dan. Okay, I didn't wanna go there,

and I just did it to give us a segue into other things, to jar the room into this is not appropriate, let's move on. And let's get to Jessica's jacket. I am well aware, Stu Gatz, that whenever you're here, if it's poop talk, that you want the ball and you wanna dribble it, I know. I mean, I'm concerned about you. You said you pooped blood and that would be,

and passed it out. And so I didn't know if it was true or not. I was really just trying to move out of the conversation where you guys were spending so much time on Chris Cody's general lack of hygiene, the sneezing into the hands. I have a new topic. So I have it on very good authority.

I don't know if you guys saw yesterday, there was a lot of sports writers talking about how the lines at TSA at the Atlanta airport were two hours long and it was just like a complete mess. They weren't ready for the amount of people that were gonna be flying out of Atlanta yesterday. I have it on good authority, a certain sports media person cut the line.

What? Really? Huh. This is your exclusive reporting? Name names. Not gonna say, but you can guess. I'll probably be right. The Golic seemed to still be in hotel rooms.

Yeah. So we might be able to rule them. Golic was stuck on the tarmac for three hours. And he's still in Atlanta right now. How about they canceled school in Tallahassee in northern Florida? Are you kidding me? Like my daughter is going to school right now in Chicago. It is 14 below there and it's 38 degrees in Tallahassee, we've shut down school. Well, let me ask the people here if they've seen snow in Florida before, because I think this is a really rare weather event. I'm not used to seeing beaches in Florida, Destin, where you're used to seeing sand there. Instead, there is snow over the sand. I don't, has that something that's been seen in,

I'm 50 and I remember people talking about snow in the 70s in Florida. I lived it. Okay, so you... but it was it this? No, no, it was barely snow. It was a dust. I remember I was in college at the time because it took me 15 years to get through college and I remember a haze of white on my windshield that morning in 77 whenever that was it's but 77 are we just shrugging our shoulders on the idea of it's a bit apocalyptic when it's snowing in Florida like that's not a Thing that's that's normal. It's snowing in Tallahassee, which is I mean

Barely, it's the northernmost part of Florida So if it's snowing in Atlanta, it would stand to reason snowing in Tallahassee is not that far off and not that big of a deal, right? I welcome it as a near lifelong Floridian. I like snow. I would like snow three or four times a year. Is Tallahassee both barely Florida and the most Florida?

Yes. Yes. Same with Jacksonville. Yeah Yeah, I saw videos of Bourbon Street with like three inches of snow on the ground that blew my mind Jessica where are you on the emotions of the national championship? What a segue we did well sad Really? I'm okay. Actually, I Was I was complaining to Greg the entire time we were getting our makeup done about certain aspects of the weekend that were unsavory and I feel like I got a lot off my chest.

So now I feel better. What does that mean? I felt like the city of Atlanta was surprised by the fact that there was a national championship game Monday. And there were several bars that we went to where there was like one bartender working and it was kind of a mess. They didn't know that there were going to be so many people trying to be indoors. There were a sit there was a situation where there was like a tailgate party indoors where

the fire marshal was like turning people away and they're like you can't come in there's too many people in here because everyone was so cold and it was just a big cluster on Monday I would say and then the in stadium situation that the DJ was very very loud he was very loud he was singing a lot it was too much well people at that game they're paying a lot of money to be at that game you don't need to like convince them to cheer it was a very loud and raucous atmosphere. What are you making faces about? Because that strikes a chord with me. I have been campaigning my entire life with no success to do

away with the whole idea of cheerleading. Okay, sports fans know how to cheer. We don't need somebody on a sideline waving a pom-pom, doing a dance, kicking their legs. The whole idea of cheerleaders, and I apologize if there's any cheerleaders out there listening, but it's useless. Like sports does not need cheerleading. And to Jess's point, we don't need a hype guy

at a national championship game. You got a guy trying to hype the crowd? The crowd's hyped. Everybody's paying $5,000 to get there. Can't even leave because the TSA's too slow because the college football apparatus did not. I blame the CFP for this. I don't blame the city of Atlanta. This doesn't happen at Super Bowls. Yeah, thank you. So less music and no cheerleaders. This got a lot less fun really quickly. Well, Greg, I have a question thank you. So less music and no cheerleaders. This got a lot less fun really quickly. Well, Greg, I have a question for you. Is the problem the cheerleaders

or is it the lack of cheer followers? Because we have cheerleaders trying to lead cheers that no one chooses to follow and then people go rogue. To Greg's point, no one wants to be told when the cheer had a cheer, we're gonna cheer. Yeah. Oh no, I love a good over the PA system, do do do do do do, and then I get to scream charge.

If not for that sound, I would never scream charge and I would never clap my hands with everyone in unison. They need to tell me, everybody clap your hands and then we know it's time to clap our hands. Greg, it's an odd take from you only from this standpoint. I agree with what it is you're saying, but you strike me as someone who would love to be a hype man.

Did you audition to be a golden oldie? He would love to have a hype man. Yeah. OK. He doesn't want to be someone. Well, getting the crowd all charged up. I'm Greg Cody. I mean, I could see Greg doing that.

When we asked him to do it at our play in New York, or whatever that thing was we were doing in New York, he ran on the stage, ran past the microphone and forgot all his lines. He wants to have the hype man. He does not wanna be the hype man. We asked him to do it for us. A lot of his sayings are hype man-y things to say.

Do it to get satisfied. I'm a natural hype man. That kind of thing. I could be a hype man. And you know it. Yeah, exactly. He could be a hype man. Wow, what's up?

I just bought and financed a car through Carvana in minutes. You? The person who agonized four weeks over whether to paint your walls eggshell or off-white bought and financed a car in minutes. They made it easy. Transparent terms, customizable down and monthly. Didn't even have to do any paperwork.

Wow. Mm-hmm. Hey, have you checked out that spreadsheet I sent you for our dinner options? Finance your car with Garvana and experience total control. Financing subject to credit approval. Hey, Jeremy. Yes, Mike?

Have you ever had a fireside conversation during a football Sunday during the winter? Sure. We don't have a lot of fireplaces down here, but I've had the premise of it. I wish I could, but it's South Florida. When it gets down to the 60s, we're like, uh... We're bundled up, but certainly no fireplaces. Still too warm for that. But we do have our Football Sundays. And one thing that always makes Football Sundays good, and I know you've had plenty of experience in your life with this, Miller time. Oh yeah!

Miller Lite makes the winter better, it makes Football Sundays better, it makes even hanging out around you better. Thanks Mike, that was kind. I appreciate that. You're my friend. When I have a Miller Lite in my hand, pretty much everybody is my friend because we are like-minded. Because we like beer that actually tastes like beer. Oh, and now the new year, it's the perfect time to have a Miller time. Miller Lite is brewed for taste. People out there, I want you to listen to me and Jeremy you too because you know it hits you just different than other light beers. The original light beer since 1975 and still the very best one. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash stand to find delivery options near you

or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 Galleries and 3.2 Carbs per 12 ounces. Billy. Yes? You know what we've been talking about all season long? Smirnoff? Yeah, how'd you guess? I knew it.

I'm a good guesser. You are. They are the official sponsor of the Dan LeBontard Show with Stu Gottsob. You already know that it's an official vodka partner of the NFL and Super Bowl 59. We're gonna be there Oh, yes, I can't believe we're by 59 already. Yeah time flies. It does. Yes, we're old Hey, you know what Stugatso I was thinking yes since football season's winding down Super Bowl is coming up Super Bowl 59 We've been celebrating football all year. Mm-hmm idea. What? Let's do a toast. Okay. Oh wow. To football. Really? Yeah, me and you. Let's toast football. So just a toast. So we're raising our glasses. Glasses up, yeah. All right and we are

toasting to football. To football. To football everyone. What we love about Smirnoff is that you can get the world's number one vodka without breaking the bank. This feeling is what the good folks over at Smirnoff call. Billy, you want to take a stab at this? Let me guess. Smirnoff's extraordinary? Nailed it! I told you, I'm a good guesser. Oh my god. And right now Smirnoff has partnered with Complex letting fans get their hands on some amazing items handpicked by celebrities including NFL legend and Super Bowl champion Vernon Davis for the unbelievable price of $12.99

Just like a bottle of smirnoff. So head on over to smirnoffdrops.com to check out upcoming drops and check out Oh, Billy, you want to take a guess again these smirnoff extraordinary items? What's the website it is smirnoff drop dot-com smirnoff we do game days Please drink responsibly smirnoff number 21 vodka distilled from grain 40% alcohol by volume this smirnoff company, New York New York pricing is at the sole discretion of the retailer and may vary by state Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age Don libertard and may vary by state. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. guns and leave it baby you should listen to the great Cody show podcast because that's all we do for 55 minutes a week is just say catchphrases we even make songs about them and you know it is a song for crying out loud that's great hopefully that's a suey nominee for best baby and you know it. And you know it, baby and you know it.

And you know it, baby and you know it. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the Stugats! I could be a hype man in a hip-hop ensemble. That's true. You don't have to. What? I heard that. No, I would be the guy in the hip-hop ensemble filling in dead space by going, you know,

go, yeah. The hype man. Yeah, the hype man. The hype man. Yeah. That's right. That's what I'm saying. You would enjoy that. That was kind of what you did at the Vegas show last year. Like you were the hype man. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I'm saying yeah, you enjoy that Yeah, that was kind of what you did at the Vegas show last year like you were the hi. What he was

He was the crowning jewel of the hee haw three Like the show from this other stage the leader of the hee haw three your founder as well Yep Just imagine Greg how electric it would be if you had 80,000 people with pom- poms that knew exactly the hand motions to do at the same time as the cheerleaders. Yeah. He's warming up to the idea. Say what? Yeah.

They're not all winners. That's right. Give me a call and you know it. And you know it and you do know it. Get to the call. Don't make me laugh. I will cough. By the way, we're going to have a little chat.

We're going to have a little chat. We're going to have a little chat. We're going to have a little chat. We're going to have a little chat. We're going to have a little chat. We're going to have a little chat. We're going to have a little chat. We're a call and you know it. And you know it and you do know it. Get to the call. Don't make me laugh, I will cough. By the way. There it is.

Can I put a bow on house arrest? Yeah. Okay, at any time in this country, there are approximately a quarter of a million people under house arrest, okay? This is a weird background for this conversation. 250,000 people under house arrest at any time. You know what we need, and somebody's gotta invent it.

We need designer ankle bracelets. Ooh, I like that. No, because think about it. If you're under house arrest, you should, you know, Gucci should make an ankle. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's not bad.

With your initials on it. Yeah, right. Designer, if you wanna pay for it. Maybe we put it in the store. Yeah, you get a gold ankle bracelet. You know what I think, Greg? Yes. Z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z- some music. You said you wanted to be a hype man. Yeah. You said you got some phrases. You know, just stay with us here. Well, the music will be here the entire time.

You get in where you want as the hype man for the show. Can I get back to what it is that Jessica was saying about the national championship game? You get in wherever you want. Yeah. You get in wherever you want. You pick the spots to get in just like that. With whatever line you want. For the record, I'm pro cheerleader.

But Jessica, I have heard, and I don't know if what I'm about to say is so, but just from a couple of people who said to me, hey, the national championship game was played Monday night. I'm like, yeah, Ohio State, Notre Dame, it was a giant game. And they're like, but it feels like the championship got spent on the way to the championship when we were all gorging a bunch of football games

at a time, and that the national championship game between two giant powers somehow escaped some attention spans in sports that are really spread thin? And you know it. I think that happens every year, because it's on a Monday, and it's like after the bulk of the college football season's already ended,

so it always feels like it's like, oh yeah, we have one more game, and then unless your team's playing in it, like it kind of sneaks up on you. And also this year happening right after like the divisional round of the NFL playoffs, which took up a ton of oxygen. Some ginormous games were played this weekend,

which I'm excited to hear your guys takes about. Like it's a Monday in the middle of January. It just kind of sneaks up on people. There is something to that, Dan, where on Monday, I was out of gas. I can't believe I'm saying this. I didn't want more football. Really?

Yeah. What? I wasn't in the mood for a college football national championship game. I just, it was a Monday. Liar. I wish it was, like, I wish, I know this will never happen,

but I wish they could work something out with the NFL and put the national championship game Saturday Saturday leading into the NFL games and then Sunday the rest of the games. It just feels like a missed opportunity. Also having the semi-finals on Thursday and Friday, I saw that the ratings were down from last year when it was on New Year's Day because New Year's Day is a huge college football day. So just weekday, weekday, weekday playoff games

is hard for fans. It's hard for spectators, obviously. It's just weird. I don't understand why it is that people wouldn't just see that as a giant game and that's it. It's always been a giant game. That game played, I don't care how much sports is going on around you.

The championship of college football is the biggest of things every year. I kind of disagree. I've always been a kind of like the championship games cool and the national championships important, but the season is the best part. Like the regular season is the best part of the football and bowl season.

I really love, but like the national championship game for the last eight years has been a blowout. There's rarely a close national championship game That's not really like to me. It's the opposite of the Super Bowl. It's not like the crowning jewel of the season too many games Anti climax is what you're arguing. It's how it's kind of felt every year I've always treated college football as like some sort of appetizer for the NFL And so I like my college football to come before the NFL. I got Ravens and Bills and then I was forced to watch something that I was interested in,

but the product was not nearly as good. This also like, by the way, is probably just psychological and not affecting too many people. But we spoke about it beforehand with Lucy and I think some with Jess, which is you see the little numbers next to the teams too and you see seven versus eight for the national championship and you're like, even though it was the two best teams at the time. Give me a one, two.

Yeah, the seeding really threw everything off where you felt like you were getting a lesser than national championship because you had low seeds in the tournament and they were the best teams that were there. I disagree with you. I don't think people even really care about what the seeds were.

Both, I mean, Ohio State and Notre Dame finished one, two in the final eight people. And Notre Dame was, I think- I need to see it on my TV screen. Didn't it? Okay. The seven was okay, because if I squint, it looks a little bit like a one,

but that eight really threw me off. Jessica, I cannot have one of these seasons of your lifetime. Please video, tell me you can find that video of her sneezing, please. One of the seasons of your lifetime, have it interrupted by, hey, at the end, it's gonna be anticlimactic when, I don't know if 31,

10, 31, three made you feel that way or? I don't think it was anticlimactic. I guess I just feel like the national championship game every year feels like this where it's like kind of randomly after the season ends and especially this year because it went a week longer like both of these teams had school last week. Like it's just weird. You guys realize that what you're saying really

is that the end of the college football season has now become to you. I'm tired of football. This is the last one. I'm kind of sad. Yeah, it's for the championship. But my God, what a holiday smorgasbord of gorging on football.

And at the very end, I've just got like the feeling after Thanksgiving of I'm burpy and farty. I don't feel so good and okay, thank you football. Go away until next season. I don't know if I could say, I wouldn't go that far, but like, yeah, like the, I think the football season sort of does climax around New Year's Day.

Like that's like the big, you know, that's why it made a lot of sense to have the semifinals on that day and then you have like one more game after after that for the for the title. But that's obviously not how it is with the 12 team playoff. Now there's another week in between. And so it does sort of like taper off a lot more slowly. But either way, I think this game probably got like monster ratings. It was Ohio State. I'm sure that. So this is why I think though, and I'd like to see what the numbers are because I'm sure of it.

I'm sure that we are expressing, I'm hearing you guys talk and I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, and I'm hearing when friends of mine are saying, hey, the championship was played as if there's so much sports going on all the time that of course the NBA regular season is now less important than it's ever been. Even if you care deeply about the NBA. Because you've got just so much to occupy your time and Billy wants to be on house arrest and just be with his kids and leave me alone.

Give me the 40 minutes I can get in the bathroom hiding in the toilet. I never mentioned kids or my family. You keep bringing that up. Greg, I was thinking, because you mentioned designer, like ankle monitors and ankle bracelets. You know, one of the problems with house arrest, I think, is that you have a certain number of people on house arrest at the same time as you mentioned 250,000 at any given time. Yes by me. But like a lot of them, I mean, they're essentially they're paying their mortgage, they're paying rent or whatever,

but they can't really leave. I feel like maybe we have an opportunity where you could set up like situations where where multiple people under house arrest cohabitate. You know what I mean? Maybe we set up an apartment complex where it's just full of people on house arrest. A house house arrest, a house arrest. That's just Jim. Yeah, I like that.

Thank you. Come on, I can't get enough of that. I swear to you. Thank you. See, she said achoo. She does say achoo. And I thought that was the exclusive domain of older women. I did not think that achoo, spoken cleanly,

Achoo! was a young person thing. Jessica, what other things about you other than your love of Colombo are just an ancient woman existing inside of you. Mm. Mm. And we'll get to Billy's thoughts

on reinventing jail in a moment. I really is. Consider everyone house arrest in the same place. You just put them. It's just jail. No, you got it of the future. We're headed there. Trust me when I tell you, we are headed to.

Community house arrest. Living on pods in communities where we've given up our freedom so we don't have to see others. So we don't have to interact with anything human. Just, I wanna do everything digitally. Send me my food on a drone. Get away from me.

That's who we're gonna become as a society. I don't want plans, just let me stay at home. Ah, plans suck. Why haven't you gotten there yet, Dan? Why do you still think plans are fun? He doesn't have kids And so I have my life Cuz I don't have to be chasing around kids. I think is why Jessica hates kids Annoying, you know, shouting shit monsters. What a blessing though they are. Oh, they're the best.

Love you kids. Just don't want to see you. Why can't you just say no? Just say no, don't go anywhere. Are you talking about like, things you can't, there's things you can't say no to? Oh yeah, of course.

Like baptisms? I would say no to that. Oh no, no. Oh, I would go so your baby get dunked on the water. It's easy to sit there, not have kids, and tell other parents how easy it is to say no. It's not easy, it's impossible. And once you get buried, that cute game of,

you know, things are voluntary is done. You have to go to all these things. They're all voluntary. Recent estimates say it's between 125 and 150,000 people under house arrest in the United States So off by about a hundred thousand what an opportunity though for housing Alright, so I'd like you to create a commercial campaign on behalf of house arrest I would like I'm Billy on behalf of the merits of house arrest because I think you would get a following and it would be

Totally culting can I get back to what it is that I walked into this morning though? Which is Greg Cody, Hall of Fame voter, is, you heard all the arguments breaking out in the other room about CC Sabathia's not this, Billy Wagner's not that, and I yesterday made Mark Andrews an immortal, not just merely a Hall of Famer. It was a weird day.

An immortal, so we are now arguing Hall of Fame in every corner and crevice of metal arc media. Good tight end, Mark Andrews. Yeah, not immortal though. He could make the Hall someday. He could, but he's not immortal is what we're saying. No, you're right. Delaney Walker has more catches than he does.

Well, Delaney was good too. Not immortal though. No, immortal. Who's immortal? Babe Ruth is immortal. Which tight end do you think would be hardest to kill? Hmm. Gronk. I don't know. I'm not sure.

No, I think you've got so many tight ends now in the support. And they're tough. Oh my god. And giant. Dallas Goddard. I don't know, yeah, but I don't know how you'd kill McBride. What are you gonna do to kill McBride? You can lure a certain number of titans

just into a forest, and then anything can happen. But Goddard stiff-armed the guy, and then slowed down to stiff-arm the same guy again. And then again, and then a third time. All you say is true, and yet if I were walking through the wilderness, and George Kittle came out from behind a tree,

I would run away. I would, that would, I. You would be right to do so. Yeah. And I'm not saying this because I wish violence, obviously on any tight ends, I'm just saying if we're literally doing Immortal, I'm trying to figure out which one would live the longest.

Who would be easiest? Aaron Hernandez. I think, yeah, Hernandez. I think Shannon Sharp lives the longest. I'm gonna say Mike Gasecki. Somebody just- For taking guns out of it. Okay, thank you, thank you.

Let's do this just generally slightly more subtle than that. You can do it, I know you can. Gronk, can you get me the sound of Bob Einstein? Oh boy. I just, I wanna tell the history of this because we've been praying at the altar of Gronk for a long time. I mean what a majestic thing, polar bear, to see Gallup across the secondary and change a position that

Tony Gonzalez and Antonio Gates and but and Shannon Sharp had turned into oh all these guys are kind of like tweener power forwards in basketball, monster athletes and so the position starts to change and this is a more bob einstein is an immortal but i don't for on the pole is super dave and and a mortal this is how he talked about wrong but i don't know what kind of should be

something right because i think that's a good thing that a human being like that go off the field and he like snorts to his teammates. There's no English or anything spoken. He does. He is made of circuits. You're absolutely right. He really is. There's always fire coming out of his helmet. And when he goes across the middle, forget it. 49ers and Redskins. Redskins. What do you think he says in the huddle

besides slobbering and breathing and sneezing and stuff? Do you think he knows his own name when they say Grog, we're going to you? Or do they just tase him a little bit? So good. How are you gonna kill Ebron? Ooh. Why are we killing people? I'm feeling like I missed something.

Because Billy did that because it's Wild Billy Wednesdays. No, it's just immortality. We're tying Bob, unfortunately, we found out not an immortal. Not immortal, right, I guess, yes. That is too soon. He's a piece of the family. That is too soon.

Oh, they'd like that joke. That's too soon, they would like that joke. Bob would love that joke. He would like that joke. I heard that at his funeral would like that joke. Bob would love that joke. He would like that. I heard that at his funeral he was handing out, like they had cocktail napkins with some of his dirtiest jokes and that's what was giving to the guests at his funeral.

We were so close to doing a remote from his funeral. Yeah. Yep. Speaking of. What a weird sentence. Yes. Live show. Greg thinks Steve Martin's a bad actor. What? Oh yeah. No, we were talking about murders in the building.

Or only, what's it called? Only murders in the building. Yeah, you got it. And I think it's a poorly acted show. You know, I don't think any of the main, you know, Martin Short, famously a bad actor. What? He's a good, you know, he's funny. He's overrated as an actor.

Yeah, he was good on SNL. No. He's a comic actor. Famously a bad actor. He's not an actor. Oh, he's funny overrated as an actor. Yeah, he was good on SNL Famously about funny Greg No You know, this is an immortal. He's an immortal. Well, it's short is yes. No, he is an immortal You're giving out a mortal to eat exactly Put it on the pole is Martin short a comedy immortal. You guys are disrespectful man. Jiminy Glick alone is a Hall of Famer that's one of his characters you guys are being oh come on I love Martin Short he I laugh every time I see you guys are disrespectful of career oh my god Groucho Marx blasphemous turds Oh Groucho Blasphemous turds

Blasphemous turds You guys are disrespectful of career God, no, come on Martin short Martin short is better at what he does than anyone you've ever known is at anything You're afraid to offend Hollywood In the bag Yeah Very bad word about Hollywood, they'd say something bad Make clear your accusation. You're telling me that my opinion of Martin Short is compromised by my running the filter

of I would not want to offend Hollywood here because just an amorphous, faceless Hollywood. There's no one person here. It's just, I don't want to say anything ill of Judd Apatow's neighbors. Call them all phonies, Dan, come on. They are all phonies. And?

Whoa, it's a bridge too far. Careful. Careful there. That's too much. Take it back to Daddy Holly. Oh, phonies. Wow. I didn't call Martin short a phony,

I called him a bad actor, it's okay. A bad actor? Yeah. He's overrated. Okay. He's overrated. Okay, he's very theatrical. An over actor maybe. What are we doing? That's his character in that show though.

He's like a, he's a theater producer. Right, yeah true, but that's his stereotype. Like that's who he is in every role he's ever played. Yeah, he's always that guy. Yeah. Be a football player, be a tight end. That would shock me. Some range for him.

Exactly right. Martin Short, tight end. Are there shock me. Some range for that. Martin Short, tight end. Are there any under actors out there? Who under acts? I think there are under actors. Vin Diesel. Yes.

He's just Vin Diesel. Please tell me. He's not even acting. He thinks he's Dominic Toretto. Please tell me that I'm talking to a room full of people that don't know what Martin Short has done with those Glick celebrity interviews. We all know.

I remember the character. Because it's immortal. Okay, but it's just that, that's just one, like. So do something else, that's all Greg's saying. Be something other than Martin Short. Name 10 other characters that he's done. Go ahead, we're waiting. 10, 15.

10 characters of any actor, Greg. I'm counting. Rambobo you just named ten actors have a look that's amazing that's a makeup Oliver Putnam you know half of the fun there is is so whether whether you believe okay I don't I don't know how you're 70 years old and I don't know how you think of comedy legends but Steve Martin and Martin Short touring the country doing comedy slash music when... I've seen their show.

Well, okay, but Steve Martin's career is he was the best stand-up comic in the world and then left in his 30s because he just wanted to do other things and then did all of the other things. And now teams up with Martin Short, so the two of them still have a hit TV show in their 70s and 80s and you disrespect that like look

I saw Steve Martin when he's had an arrow through his head I saw him when he was a stand-up comic right long before the acting you saw the jerk Yeah, right bona fides. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Yeah, and so I respect Steve Martin Steve Martin is a lot closer to a mortal than Short. No doubt. Agreed. No criticism meant to Martin. Did this start with Steve Martin as a bad actor? It did. It did. You said all three of them were bad.

Yeah, bad actors, yeah. Hey Jeremy. Yes Mike? Have you ever had a fireside conversation during football Sunday during the winter? Sure, we don't have a lot of fireplaces down here, but I've had the premise of it. I wish I could, but it's South Florida. When it gets down to the 60s, we're like,

we're bundled up, but certainly no fireplaces. Still too warm for that. But we do have our football Sundays, and one thing that always makes football Sundays good, and I know you've had plenty of experience in your life with this, Miller time. Oh, yeah. Miller Lite makes the winter better. It makes football Sundays better. It makes even hanging out around you better. Thanks Mike. That was kind I appreciate that you're my friend when I have a Miller Lite in my hand pretty much Everybody is my friend because we are like-minded because we like beer that actually tastes like beer Oh, and now the new year. It's the perfect time to have a Miller Time. Miller Lite is brewed for taste.

People out there, I want you to listen to me. And Jeremy, you too, because you know it hits you just different than other light beers. The original light beer since 1975, and still the very best one. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options, dear you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller time! Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2

carbs per 12 ounces.