The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Happy Gilmore Reviews

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

"Fasting is not funny." If Santa weren't fat, would you let him into your house? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Book club on Monday. Gym on Tuesday. Ugh! Date night on Wednesday. Out on the town on Thursday! Woo! Quiet night in on Friday. It's good to have a routine. And it's good for your eyes too.

Because with regular comprehensive eye exams at Specsavers, you'll know just how healthy they are. Visit Specsavers.ca to book your next eye exam. Eye exams provided by independent optometrists. This is the Daniel Levitard Show with the Stugat's Podcast. Oh, it's a whole week with old Daniel Levitard, not in the office. Just one, huh? What do we do guys?

We gotta light some fires here. Whenever he's gone, I want him to be tuning in and freaking out about what he's seeing. I want him to be feverishly on the phone with somebody, anybody. What's happening? Tell them to get a grip. What are they doing? What are they

doing to my precious child that I created and crafted over 20 years? Zazzle forgot to wear his hair piece today. No, I'm looking confident today. I mean, come on, I'm feeling good. Got the beard flowing and everything. This is a good look for you. You look like an adult with that beard. Thank you. That's what I've been saying. It's filling in just like Rex Ryan's.

I'm looking good, right? Or Rob Ryan's. I'm looking good, right? I look good. More Rob Ryan vibe. Yeah, you do. Well, you know, people said we look a little bit alike. I kind of see it. People say that Rob Ryan looks like Rex Ryan with a wig on, so I'm saying with your beard you look like Rob Ryan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Christopherson for me. Ooh, Whistler? Yeah, Whistler from Blade. Yeah. I got a little bit of D. Snyder as well. Mm-hmm. It's okay, yeah.

Like current D. Snyder, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's finally accepted an agent to it. Axe, you know what you look like? You look like what I think George Washington actually looked like. Like all the paintings. Like when he got out of bed.

Like all the dollar bills, that's like, you know how the paintings used to be like the nicest version of someone? Yeah, yeah. But that's what he actually looked like. Before he got his hair did. Before he got his hair did. So they had the Hall of Fame in Shrineman

up in Cooperstown this weekend. Was that baseball? Yeah, baseball. Yeah, you guys catch that? No. I saw some clips. Yeah, man. My guy C.C. Sabathia made it.

He's so thin. Lost a lot of weight. Maybe too thin. Is it too thin? I don't know. I like this take. I like it. Like Star lot of weight. Maybe too thin. Is it too thin? I like this take. I like it. Like Star Jones or somebody? Right, right. Some people should be fat.

That's basically what Zach is saying. It's 100% true. Some people, they look better fat. Let's play this game. Celebrities who've lost weight and look worse. Big Boy. The radio DJ? The radio DJ. The radio DJ, not from Outkast. Yeah, not from Outkast.

The big boy out in LA. Ever since he lost the weight, I'm like, I don't like it. Tell you who's another one. I thought Anthony Anderson looked better when he was heavy. I'll give you that one as well. Yeah, too thin. Too thin. What do you think of John Goodman now?

Too thin. Worrisome. Too thin. Worrisome. Worrisome! Too thin! Worrisome! Yeah! When you're used to a face looking a certain way, just leave it looking that way. Don't get all skinny and sad looking.

But backsmell bees! Gaunt! He looks gaunt! Yup! I don't like it! Fat Joe? Not so Fat Joe! Nope!

Fat Joe has done it well! He does look well. He looks proportionate. Yeah, he looks good. And that's the thing. L like he looks he looks proportionate yeah he looks good lose the weight be proportionate don't it can't be like sunken cheeks and and so you gotta put little cotton balls in your cheeks so you look the same yeah still healthier yeah yeah he looks good but I see Cicis of Athia on that stage Mike I wouldn't be afraid of that guy on the mound well he's not on the mound anymore know, but if that's what he looked like

when he was on the mound, I'm not afraid. You look like everybody else. Too thin. Mike Gullick Sr. No, I think he looks good. Yeah. He looks good. He looks good at just the right time of his life, yeah.

Jeff Saturday. No, Saturday looks good too. Not too thin. He looks good. Is this a Two Americas thing? Yeah, his face maintained its shape. This feels like a Two Americas thing right now. Oh. Other than John Goodman, I feel like we're hitting it.. We're batting like Americans. Oh, yeah, I mean he started with star Jones

That's leader in the clubhouse star Jones. Yeah, I'll give you a Sharpton. I think That's a good one Definitely is trend now hold me write this down. All the fat people should be black, apparently. At first, in 2003, when I first saw Eudonnis Haslem, after he lost all the weight, I said, too thin. But then I got used to it. Now he looks great.

Well, he's been thin for so much more of his life now. He looked unhappy. I don't know, something about when you go from a little big and jolly to super thin, you just get an unhappy face about you. Well, you're a prime example, right? You were jolly at one point in your life. Well, it was I jolly. I was a jolly, MFN eighth grader.

And you know, probably around sophomore year, college started losing the weight. My mom didn't like it. My mom hated it. She's like, oh, you're too skinny. So I think she would have vibed with you then. But I think you do it young enough, you're fine. I think when you do it older in life, when people are just used to this certain look, that's when it's like, ah, you went too far. Particularly like being, like for all these people we're talking about, they're on camera.

So we got to know them, we fell in love with them looking a certain way. And then, you know, they lost the weight, and now it's like, oh, you're messing up with my concept of who you are as opposed to Izzy. Did it behind the scenes, but it's like, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it.

I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. in love with them looking a certain way. And then, you know, they lost the weight, and now it's like, well, you're messing up with my concept of who you are as opposed to Izzy. Did it behind the scenes, in the shadows, came out like a butterfly. Well, and the hard part is when you're heavy, if you're funny and you're heavy, then you get skinny, and it's like, that's not funny anymore, man. We mentioned it last week, Shane Gillis, don't lose weight.

It's part of your thing. No, it would not be your happy funny. No, absolutely It softens the jokes. Yeah, it allows the job come out. We feel alright cuz I just some fat dude It would change his posture too. He'd all of a sudden hold the mic differently We can't have that like Tom Segura's one now Tom's to go I don't know about say he was fat, but he was definitely heavy and now he's in he's like really good shape That's a good example. Thanks so much like because he was more of an everyman right yeah now It's like now. He's talking all time of like super fit. I fasted for four. It's like dude. This is not funny

Oh, he's doing a lot of lifting with that podcast fast things not funny. It's Tom Segura the one of toys Playing basketball yes, yes, yes, well Frank Allende lost weight Still fun, but his face was still round. Yeah. I can't tell because I never see him below his neck. And he did that before Ozentic was a thing. He did it the right way, you're saying? Yeah, Frank Caliendo lost a shocking amount of weight well before.

Frank Caliendo gets into Cooperstown. Yes. And he's also a UD class where now he's been skinny longer than he was fat. If Santa wasn't fat, would you let him into your house? Absolutely not. I mean, I guess you don't let him in. He just breaks in anyway, but like,

would you be cool if just some jacked guy was going down your chimney? Well, it depends. Does he, is he wearing fitted clothing now? Or is it still the big old Santa suit? I feel like it's just suspenders, no shirt. Okay, so I gotta ask you, Billy, because this is right up your alley.

Did you see Red One? Yes. Okay, in that one, J.K. Simmons plays Santa and he's jacked, like he's in great shape. Oh, he isn't Rock in that movie too? I mean, The Rock, not Charles S. Dutton. Yeah. That's no Kay in that.

That's not Michael Beasley's grandfather, by the way. That was a crazy mistake last week. That's a callback, folks. Would you like Al Roker being skinny? I mean, he is skinny, but like, old Al. I feel like... I liked him better heavy. I liked him better heavy. I don't like where this game is going.

But I did like him better heavy, but I think he's, after he lost the weight, now he's started to gain back, and now he's kind of like, he found the equilibrium point. So, Al, you good now. But we talk about C.C. Sabathe, not about his weight, but being in the Hall of Fame. Do you guys think of him as a Yankee? I think of him as a Yankee, right?

Brewer. For real? Cleveland tells me. Unreal run as a brewer. That was like one of the great deadline acquisitions ever. It was just on fire. When you make your name somewhere else and then end up with the Yankees,

I always think of you as the former place. The Yankees is sort of like the finishing school, but like really where you went to school is the first place. He played for the Yankees so much longer than every other team. That's his bet. Paul O'Neill? Well, he's a Yankee. Reds.'Neill? Well, he's a Yankee.

Reds. All right. To me, he's a Yankee. Chuck Knobloch? Twins. He's a twin. Those are all Yankees. These are all Yankees.

Scott Brochus? Knobloch's a twin. See, those are all Yankees except for CC. Brochus is absolutely a Yankee. A Yankee. These guys are all Yankees, man. Okay. Pinstripes.

Wade Box? Yankee. Red Sox. Yankee. Red Sox. He rode a. Yankee. Red Sox. He rode a horse. He didn't ride no horse in Boston. He rode a horse.

Isn't his jersey honored by the Tampa team? Is that a Brad Marshawn situation? Hmm. I remember Wade Boggs when he was inducted into the Hall of Fame, he wanted to go in as a Ray, which obviously is insane, except it's not really a thing. You don't go in as a member of a certain team. Based by how you do.

Yeah, they have a hat. Do they? They have a hat. They do have the logo of the team on the cap, yeah. Buddy, you go in as a XYZ. You gotta call what you are. What does A-Rod say he is? What do we think of A-Rod?

A Ranger. He says he's a ranger. Mo's Epic. He says no need to ask. I'd go Mariner. Timber Wolf. I know what we would go with but honestly his best seasons were probably as a Texas Ranger But he he he identifies as a Yankee a rod as an ozempic really I mean for Cooper's talent sake

Yes, yes, I get it Yeah, they win field Dave Winfield to me is a Yankee that one's a tough one Yeah, no, he went in I think as a as a potter. I'm like, are you a Yankee, bro? I don't care what you want. Wade Boxer Yankee, too. They're all Yankees Someone else went into the Hall of Fame one each hero Suzuki. Mm-hmm He had a pretty interesting shout out during his speech. What a barn. This is the Marlins encapsulated in one sentence. And to the Miami Marlins, I appreciate David Samson and Mike Hill for coming today.

Honestly, when you guys called to offer me a contract for 2015, I have never heard of your team. Go! Go! There's no way that's true. He probably played again. Let's look this up. In interleague, they never played.

They never played tomorrow. First of all, I hadn't heard that sound. When you guys told me it was gonna be funny and listened to it during the show, I swore he was going to stop at thanks for coming. And that's it for the Marlins. They get no further reference. But that part, I mean, I would believe him.

Who way? He's clearly joking, but it's a great joke. It's a great joke. What a bar. And it's like, that's how David Samson should ever be shouted out in the Hall of Fame speech How do they not how did the camera not find like David Sam? He's this all he's sitting next to Mike Hill. They couldn't find him either

There was such an opportunity for like a panning and then you pan down That's only the camera guy was in there we got the show yes Did you have each your own that gray at this point in his life? I did not see him going gray like that. He was by the end of his career. He was playing at like 90 for the Marlins. He was, yeah. He batted 195 against the Marlins.

Suck it, idiot. He never spoke to the media while being able to speak English. That's my favorite thing, like, is that, oh, his English is perfect. He didn't just learn this in the last couple of years. His English is perfect the whole time. It's the same thing, by the way, it the same hustle. There's show haze running on all you people with the interpreter I'm interested in Billy's reaction to it because Billy's passionate about the Marlins and he didn't appreciate the jokes Yeah, you didn't like the swipe not nice

It was also weird that he was looking me dead in the eye when he said suck it and I was like, oh that was weird I don't want to look at you Why did so like that really got you? You don't take that as just like a little jab? I thought it was unnecessary. Yeah, funny guy over there, please. Out of here. Should be grateful to the Marlins,

if not you would never would have gotten 3,000 hits. You don't like the fact that he mentioned them in a Hall of Fame speech? I think that's worth it. I mean, they're on his Hall of Fame like plaque. Yeah, sure. Unnecessary swipe by each hero. Counterpoint.

Baseball historian doesn't know who to. Funny guy over here. Big stand up comedian. Go on. Counterpoint. He puts us on the right side of history with David Sampson, right? He likes Sampson.

Clearly. Billy, how funny was that joke really? Like it really wasn't that funny, right? Like if, who's the last Marlin to get inducted? If he makes that joke, would it be as funny? It's funny because of how out of left field it is. There's like, you're not expecting a shot at the Marlins there.

It's just, you think he's just doing the, David Sampson, thank you for being here. But it's just, he decides to like go for comedy. And cause it was so, I, you genuinely laughed out loud at it. I like, you were cackling over there. He's laughing right now. It's because of Samson. No, me too.

It's funny. It's not something that, you know, you would expect at a Hall of Fame speech. And because it's going after Samson, that's why just for us, I think nobody laughs harder at that than this room. Of course. Folks, nothing says summer like long days, clutch plays,

and firing off a few bets on the game. All with DraftKings Sportsbook. Never bet baseball before? Hey, it's easy. Pick a guy to go yard, hammer some live odds mid-game, or just ride with your squad and hope for the best. No spreadsheets, just vibes and dingers. Here's something special for first timers.

New DraftKings customers, bet $5 and get 150 in-bonus bets instantly. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app, use code DAN. That's code DAN for new customers to get $150 in bonus bets instantly when you bet just $5. Only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8HOPENY or text HOPENY in 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino and Resorting Kansas.

21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co.slash audio. No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express.

Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at NoFrills.ca. Dan Lebatard. Taitas. Stugatz. Taitas. This is the Dan Lear show with this two gods Let's get dunked on so often this not for a day. Let's celebrate today. Yeah

Your series win against the brew crew best team of baseball almost a sweep. I mean, don't look now. People were saying at the start of two series ago that this stretch the Marlins have, they've been hot, but they have like five hard series in a row. Yeah. One first two. Man, I was watching yesterday, they were four outs away from sweeping the Milwaukee Brewers. The Brewers hadn't lost a home game in like all all month I think, until the Marlins got there. Won the first two games.

Marlins were four outs away from sweeping that ass. And then the Brewers tied in the eighth, they walked off in the ninth. From the makers who took that ass? Is that the same, sweeping that ass? Yeah, of course. Is that like cleaning that ass for them? No, sweeping that ass.

The ass is there and then a Brew comes in. And then they have no ass. Yeah, you gotta sweep that ass. How do we feel and then a broom comes and sweeps. And then they have no ass. Yeah, you gotta sweep that ass. How do we feel about like the- Do you take it after you sweep it? Well, no, because you already swept that ass. You don't have to. Where does it go?

Away. Okay. A dustpan. How do you feel about Craig Council? What about him? Just, you know, he did the thing. Game winning run, 97 World Series. Yeah, but I'm saying like, do we like Craig Council?

Do we not like Craig Council? Yeah not like Craig yeah great midseason acquisition 97. Yeah, but they kind of did the brew crew dirty right where he left to go to the Alright well one you ask better questions. Why do I care about the brewers? Hey remember when the brewers got done. Why don't you ask me next if I'm upset when the Knicks got done dirty Who cares? Are you? No! Oh. Remember that time the maple leafs were done dirty?

So? It is a weird observation. Mitch Marner did them so dirty. What do I care? Billy, why did you care about Craig Council? I was just looking at the standings. I see now the Cubs are tied with the Brewers. The Brewers are the best team in baseball.

And here comes Craig Council with another team that he betrayed his team for. I was just wondering, we were talking about the Brewers. What else do you want to talk about? Bob Euker, he's dead. Rest in power. I mean, I don't know why Bob Euker, I don't know why it's the only thing Brewer you want to talk about. What do you want to talk about the Brewers?

I don't want to talk about the Brewers. We already did it. C.C. Sebastian, we checked that off the list. Bob Euker, what are we going to say? We've talked about Bob Uecker before. I don't wanna talk about him. Cred Council comes up as a shared thing,

the Marlins, Brewers, Cred Council, Standings. Bob Uecker's a good transition point. The Happy Gilmore 2 came out on Netflix and shock of everyone's life, it sucked. Wow. Okay, okay. I don't think that is a consensus in the room. Really?

Yeah, I mean, I'm with you, but I don't think everybody likes a consensus in the room really I mean I'm with you You like how do you more to I have some complaints? But overall I left the movie at the end saying this was good Can we start with spoiler alert just in case this could have been way worse? That's what I left the movie meaning you turn the TV off Yeah, just like I remember like we were like You have a hard time getting out of the theater. We were midway through the final scene and it hadn't even ended yet.

I kind of knew where it was going and I'm just like, this wasn't terrible. You found Happy Gilmore predictable is what you're saying. All right, I was able to figure out what was gonna happen but I just, I do have major issues with a big plot twist at the beginning, hated that. But I got past that and I thought it was a fine movie there I Had my issues with it initially when I turned it on and I saw the runtime and I were in 57 minutes immediately at the very

Least 17 minutes too long and that's a long time 17 minutes is a long time and when you include a lot of the family Lovey-dovey stuff in the movie, I kind of fell asleep. Well, Izzy, if they don't have that extra 17 minutes, how will they get seven billion cameos? That's a great question. Especially when professional golfers who are, as everyone knows, the best actors in the world.

Scottie Schaefler was good, Bad Bunny was good. I don't understand. Scottie Schaefler was not good. He was good for an athlete. He was not good. I don't understand the complaints. It's Happy Gilmore. Did you think it was gonna be up for an Oscar?

Like, did you think that Becky Lynch was going to be up for supporting actress? What are you expecting out of Happy Gilmore? I'll tell you what I expect out of every Adam Sandler thing that comes out now. Rob Schneider. Yes, number one. Well, it's part of that. Number one. I thought they weren't boys anymore and he was in the movie.

Yes, all of the Sandler Flunkies are always gonna be in every movie, number one. Number two, we're gonna do it in, I won't call them destinations, but places where people wanna hang out. Number three, we're gonna give a bare minimum thought to plot, dialogue, or any other sort of kind of work on this thing.

I'm just gonna collect money, pay my friends, hang out for a couple of weeks and boom and then have cameos from famous people that I would love to have in my thing. I loved it. I'm not... You loved it. I loved it. I'm not afraid to admit that. I loved it. I'm hearing what you guys are saying and I'm seeing it all over social media. The movie like people hate it, whatever, on Rotten Tomatoes, it's got very high scores from media and from audience.

Who are all these people that hated the movie? I think it's just a matter of you have the proper expectations for the movie versus other people who, 1996 is a long time ago, so you're probably reading a bunch of reviews from people who didn't see it back then, didn't fall in love with it back then, kinda knew it, and then saw this movie and was like, that premise is crazy,

I don't like the joke. If I can tell you, the first 30 minutes of the movie in particular, I was laughing at every line in the movie. God damn, man, really? Out loud, laughing out loud. How many things can he drink out of? That's funny.

The golf ball was a surprise. I got an Instagram ad for that exact golf ball after watching the movie. Of course you did. I loved it. That movie was so funny. It was exactly what I wanted. What was your favorite line?

I don't have a favorite line in Happy Gilmore 2, but I loved Mark Wood Qualley. She made me laugh the whole time that she was in it. She made you laugh the whole time. Yeah, everything she did I was laughing at. She was funny. Well, give me some other comedies you enjoy. Maybe, let me get some context.

I have no problem giving you comedies I enjoy. Best comedies, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, that's my favorite comedy. 40 Old Virgin, all right. Love 40 Old Virgin. Okay. You know, if you wanna go old school, obviously I've come into America. Oh, I thought you were gonna say old school.

Nah, old school's good, but old school's a little overrated. Old school's overrated. So it is a little overrated. Happy Gilmore 2 had you laughing continuously for 30. No, hold on a second. Overrated doesn't mean that it's not good. Overrated is like, I think, okay, The Hangover? I think it's the most overrated movie of all time.

It is, you know, there's a theme here, Todd Phillips. Of all time. The Todd Phillips comedies I always found overrated. Really? I didn't find them like, Old school slaps, I'm with you on The Hangover. Yes, old school is good, and The Hangover is also really good. But people talk about The Hangover

like it's the greatest comedy, it's not. And hence, it's overrated. It's funny, it's a solid comedy. It's not, and hence it's overrated. It's funny, it's a solid flick. Alright, I'll give you that. If you're saying it's funny, it's just not the greatest. I don't think it's the greatest comedy either. I think it's a very funny movie though. I do too. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is my favorite comedy. But you're giving me like...

Alright, so Todd Phillips, funny movies. He makes funny movies. Didn't he also do Joker? Yeah, he won a Golden Globe, I think, for Joker. Yeah, and then he also did Joker, the other one. Yeah, fully up to you. Yeah, I said, send back, I'm like, that's Todd Phillips for you. Todd Phillips experience.

And then you got Judd Apatow movies, you're naming. Love Judd Apatow. Judd Apatow's funny. For the most part, love Judd Apatow. So how are you sitting here and saying, Happy Gilmore 2 was funny? Cause it was! You're basing it off of what the first one was.

It was ridiculous comedy that's just, like, absurd. OK. Because, like, if you really, I rewatched the first one, there are some, there's a lot of ridiculous stuff that happened to that first one. That you're like, and I'm with Zazz on this. Like, you have to know what movie you're watching. Yeah, what am I, I know what movie I'm watching.

This is not a rated R like really smart comedy. This is Happy Gilmore 2. They had a golf green that was rotating as you moved on it and and Maxie golf whenever whenever the thing the ball stops moving if you move the green still counts Can still go in the hole. That's Maxie golf. Well, I get it. Pray for the lives man. But it's funny Yes! Ha! I was laughing out loud throughout the movie man I'm not a highbrow comedy person like I like you sound like a snob. I like Fairly Brothers movies I think those are funny. Mm-hmm. I don't think that's another one something about Mary. That's that's the top funny movies

Yeah, dumb and dumber. Yeah course right but this guys oh man come on you know what we're also partial to Adam Sandler movies in my house my wife he is her favorite we see all the Adam Sandler movies we love Adam Sandler that's why I never come over to we love Adam Sandler I just don't know what you're expecting oh yeah those three, oh man, I thought it was going to be really, you know. I'm expecting, I'm expecting. You're going to make me think the movie. No, Dumb and Dumber made you think?

No. That's my point. Dumb and Dumber is funny. This isn't. It's like, I don't understand the people, like take for instance The Fast and the Furious movies. Like, oh man, the new ones or whatever and you leave like, oh the movies suck. What do you expect? Zazz, if you had no attachment to the original Happy Gilmore? Would you somebody else not you like what you tell them if somebody else had no attachment to the Happy Gilmore movie? I'm really original would you tell them hey go watch Happy Gilmore 2. It's gonna be great

If I didn't know anything about the first movie if they If you're referring to our no no no no I could totally understand someone who knows nothing about the original Happy Gilmore if they see this movie like this is some stupid shit. Totally. Yeah, you're not gonna watch that then if you don't love the original. So doesn't your liking it have everything to do with the original and it's just bringing back nostalgia

so it's not actually a good movie, it's just bringing back feeling, that's the first one again. I'm not expecting it to be nominated for best screenplay at the Oscars, yes. There's an in-between here That you keep sipping over that it can be not nominated for an Oscar and still you know This really is so good to me

I don't understand anyone and I don't need to sit here and be like some happy Gilmore Stan who gives a shit All right, but you kind of kind of come on Like the most happy Gilmore Stan I've ever a lot of a shit if you loved happy Gilmore. How did you not enjoy? This movie I don't get it. I think those are the people who did enjoy it There's yourself and those who loved happy Gilmore so much and you know watched it Are you home alone when you watch this or did you know I'm a bachelor now this week by the way Oh myself as if it couldn't tell by the beard. Yeah. Yeah, no it was before my family left So I watch it with my older son, okay, my family. I'm a bachelor now this week, by the way. I got the house myself. As if it couldn't tell by the beard. Yeah, yeah. No, it was before my family left,

so I watch it with my older son. Okay. Don LeBattard. Again, started on the breakfast flan. Oh, man, I've been singing the song to myself all morning long. Breakfast flan, da-da-da-da-da. Stugats.

You never heard the breakfast flan song? No, hit me with it. Okay, I wish I had some breakfast flan. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Breakfast flan Da da da da da da da da Where can I find a breakfast like that? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da The whole family's out? Yeah, I got the whole week. Oh, free house.

Yeah, bachelor pad this week. Oh yeah, baby. Took myself out on a date last night. Where'd you go? That's right. My pal David Dennis Jr. gave me a great tip yesterday. I got lucky the other night. My pal David Dennis Jr. gave me a good tip yesterday, okay,

where I was telling him how, because we were on ESPN radio. Thanks for clarifying the junior part. I didn't want to confuse him with David Dennis. David Dennis Sr. is a civil rights activist, right? David Des Jr. not somewhere. I think he's got that in his family, yeah. And I told him, I was like, hey, I'm a bachelor this week, it's great. And you know one of the best parts about being a bachelor is, so for dinner tonight, your boy's going to order whatever he wants. I don't have to worry about what the boys want what my wife wants I'm gonna get what I want or I'm gonna do whatever I want and he told me you know

You do you take yourself out to a nice restaurant to a nice steakhouse you go dress up a little bit You go sit in the same side of the booth no Myself and you go to the bar. Okay, you get yourself an old-fashioned, you get yourself a nice steak. So guess what I did? I got dressed up, I went to the steakhouse by my house, Mr. Steel Yo Girl arrived at the bar. I watched the Marlins, the Marlins came there. I had a nice little date with myself last night.

Jacket or no jacket? No jacket, no jacket. Collared shirt? Yeah. Okay. I like that. Pants, yup, or slacks. I went to dinner in Chicago a couple weeks ago No jacket, no jacket. Collared shirt? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I like that.

Slacks? Pants? Yup, I wore slacks. I went to dinner in Chicago a couple weeks ago and I saw a dude take himself out on a date. He was dressed really nice. I enjoyed myself. He was eating a chicken parm, he had a glass of wine, he was totally by himself.

I'm like, look at this king. Yeah. Did he get lucky at the end of the night? I'm sure he did. Did you pull your own chair out? He looked like he would. That guy. No, like there are certain people that you can look look at and like that guy's jerking it

But currently like he's going to jerk it like it's like his option. Why is Chris waving? Did you look forward to that like the house on that before the hat what Jack like You should try it it's pretty awesome empty house most people figure that out around you know eight or nine It's probably a big weekend for that at the Manor You do with the door open better believe it. There's no there's no expectation privacy like the front door Chris Come on I come through like Tom Cruise in risky business done done done done done done done done done in your underwear. I set up a night for myself.

Saves me a whole step. Like 40 Old Virgin where he's got the candles around his bed. No, I've had the house myself many a times, okay. So yeah, I'm looking forward to this week. It's gonna be a great week. I feel like, what's the number one activity for open house? Number one activity has to be jacking it.

But number two has to be I watch whatever I wanna watch. More than I eat whatever I wanna eat, I watch whatever I wanna watch. That's pretty clutch. Right? Yeah, I had basically a weekend to myself here and I enjoyed my evening last night of just, you know what, I'm gonna watch this Billy Joel documentary.

I don't have anybody to tell me that they don't wanna watch the Billy Joel documentary. That's against the rules. You can't watch something that, okay, so she doesn't wanna watch the Billy Joel documentary. She's not the Billy Joel guy, I'm the Billy Joel guy. So the point is, is that I can't watch something that I think I'm gonna like,

because I know Anthony will like it, and then if I watch it without him, he's gonna get upset about it. So if I'm in the bachelor mood mode, I've gotta specifically look for things that I like and he wouldn't. He's got a TV cheat. Hold on, there you go.

Chris, allow me. Izzy, this is what you do. I gotta go ass off. You watch it, yeah. And then you say, Anthony, I heard about this thing, this Billy Joel documentary, wanna check it out? And he's like, sure. And then you start watching it, and you're like, wow.

You just make these little. He's surprising with like some predictions in there. Like, wow, I think're like, wow. You just make these little. They surprise him with some predictions in there. Like, wow, I think this is gonna happen. You've gone too far. You've gone too far. You just gotta be, wow, a little bit of like, huh. Little interstitials there. You did not expect that.

Yeah. What happens if I fall asleep though? Because I already know what happened, then I fall asleep and then he gets angry. Oh, well then. Well then he's gonna watch it again, because he doesn't want you to miss it. So you're now watching it for a third time.

Third time, all right. I don't know if I like this play. I definitely hit Cynthia with Your Loss because she came home and she's like, oh, I watched Happy Gilmore 2. I was like, all right, I guess I was waiting without it but I'll just like go f myself. And I was like, you know what?

I'm like, I've only heard certain things about this movie. I'm like, your experience with it was diminished because there are certain jokes that I could have explained to you. Like you don't know who Will Zalatoros is. I could have explained that to you and you would have found it funny. I must have fallen asleep with him.

Did she enjoy the movie? Yeah, I mean I think there's a lot of people, I wanna see it because of the polarizing reaction. I've seen a lot of people say this is crap, but a Netflix sequel cash grab from Adam Sandler, I know what I'm getting into. How could it go wrong? Yeah, I want to watch it for the nostalgia

I want to watch it for the cameos and but some of his Netflix movies have been good like that mystery date with Jennifer Aniston was funny man. I gotta be honest didn't care to even consider watching that film Yeah, I watched the the one with Chris Rock where they were like enough seven No, no, no the other one where they were like having a wedding grown up six that one I Don't know about you guys a movie has to really Reel me in like I will it's stupid you look at a two-hour movie versus a show with eight episodes I'm watching the show with eight episodes. That's eight hours versus the movie

I feel like it's it's less of a commitment in terms of this better be good. Cause like in that eight episode show, if I get one good episode, two good episodes, I'm happy. In the movie, if it sucks, I'm so pissed off. The Billy Joel doc, it gets you right in. Because he was living with his best friend, he ends up having a relationship with the best friend's wife

and then he's like, yeah, drink an entire bottle of Lemon Pledge, all right? Let's see where this goes, Billy, I appreciate your- And it's a movie, not a series. No, it's a documentary, it's a docu-series, there's more than one episode. Well see, that's where you get me. Izzy, but here you go, you watch it,

and then you watch it again with Anthony, and then when that happens, you go, huh? The Lemon Pledge comes out, wow. Also, he's just vigorously ripping a vape the entire time. And the aggressive vape pools, which is deep in through the mouth and out through the nose. Power move. Yeah, it's a power move.

You sit back and you're like, man, this guy's really cool. Immature. Immature. You're a little too old to be doing that. You're a rock star, Billy Joel. Smoke cigarettes, smoke heaters. Smoke crack. Yeah. Do it your style. Your vapes, who's vaping?

Oh yeah, guys, he's so far beyond smoking crack, the guy just downed a bottle of Lemon Pledge. I think he's operating on a different level. Why'd he drink Pledge? He wanted to, he was really depressed and unhoused, sleeping in laundromats, and he's like, I'm not gonna be here anymore. But then, you know, the best friend actually drove him

to the hospital and saved his life. And he's featured prominently in the thing. Oh, hang on a second. Do you like spray it directly into your mouth? Do you like collect it into? No, he chugged an entire bottle of Lemon Pledge, according to him, in this documentary. I thought that was an aerosol.

No, they've got a liquid version. Also, the reason why he did Lemon Pledge is because he's very brand conscious. Procter and Gamble guy. Won't stray. And also, he preferred that flavor, I guess. I think I'm calling bullshit. You think?

I mean, these are documented things. How would you prove smell? They didn't document him downing Lemon Pledge. I'm sure we can. I'm sure we can figure out if he checked himself into an emergency room. You got him taking a swig. Eww.

Yeah. I do. I have an upset stomach. And then him taking like a swig. Yeah, I do. I have an upset stomach. And then you take him to the hospital. Like a cry for help lemon pledge type thing? Yeah. You're telling me you drink a bottle of lemon pledge. You're not dead?

You're dead. I mean, it depends what your intestinal fortitude like. I think he took a sip. He's like, this tastes terrible. I drank a whole bottle. He also did an apologies if this is a triggering conversation. But he also took like a handful of sleeping pills. He also did an apologies if this is a triggering conversation, but he also took a handful of sleeping pills and he was in a coma for several days.

Wait, did he apologize or did you just apologize? No, I apologize for the content because when you talk about self-harm, these things are triggering so we should put a description in the episode. But no, he was in an era in which he was really into self-harm. That makes this episode sound like a downer. We've had so much fun. I know. We're just having the conversation.

I want to be fair. All right. Well, let's switch gears then. Let's talk about your boy. Thinks he's too big for league things, right? We had MLS, All-Star Game. Everyone's really excited. Hey, this is a showcase.

We sell our game to people. We're trying to grow our game and our biggest cash cow. Hey, Leo, where are you at? Nowhere to be found. Yeah, Messi, for those that don't know the story, Messi and his teammate. He's your neighbor? Yeah, for those who don't know the story. Messi and Jordi Alba decided to skip the MLS All-Star game. This was something that kind of came together pretty quickly and MLS had a league rule that if you willingly decided to not participate in the MLS All-Star game, you'd be suspended for a game.

Inter Miami, we got into it last week with a Rodrigo DePaul signing. No one really knew if it was a designated player or a team signing. He's very handsome. We can talk about that in a second. But there is this notion that Inter Miami knew if it was a designated player or a TAM signing. He's very handsome. We can talk about that in a second. But there is this notion that Inter Miami and the league have a unique relationship.

They push the boundaries of what the rules are and other MLS clubs are pointing the finger at them saying how are they allowed to do this. So Messi and Alba got suspended. Jorge Mas came out with a statement that was basically threatening MLS, like this will no doubt have an impact on how Leo thinks of this league. You're talking about a player that is out of contract come December, they're trying to keep him.

Leave. So he was basically upset that MLS didn't change its rules for Messi. Here's where the inter-Miami argument is, which is, look, we advanced to the knockout round of the club World Cup We made MLS millions of dollars by doing this we made our own club millions of dollars like in the neighborhood of 24 million dollars approximately in getting that far meanwhile all the MLS clubs were embarrassing in this tournament We were how many extra games was that then it was just one extra game because they played PSG

who was just on an unbelievable tear until. They got murdered. They got to the final. Yeah, they were, in that first half, there were three successful passes beyond midfield in the PSG zone. So it was an ash kicking. It was supposed to happen.

Yeah, but no. We wouldn't be surprised that the Nuggets destroyed the Mexico City Capitanas in the G League, right? Here's my question to Mike though. Let's say MLS looks at the entire situation like you just laid out and says, okay, you know what? Last second rule change, this team in particular has done so much. They've represented our league very well.

Not injured per se, but we want to avoid that possibility going forward. We are not going to suspend him or Jordi Alba for this particular, you know, not showing up for the All-Star game. How do you think that's received? I think that MLS was put in a difficult spot because they're already kind of pushing the

The rules a little bit with this Rodrigo de Paul signing and a lot of teams were confused as to how they were able to pull It off basically. He's a tam player this year, but next year he gets to be a designated player It does there was a genuine confusion in the MLS office working through loopholes basically right and I The Moss family credit like these people push the limits they want to spend more money they want MLS and make more aggressive moves because they think the league is being held back by this conservative approach and their argument is pretty solid when you consider Don Garber released the the streaming numbers for the first time last week and they are abysmal. Abysmal, less than 200,000 people a game,

your average audience for MLS, that is terrible. And he felt almost proud in saying, like, that's way up from last year. Whoa, this is not a way to grow the league at this moment. They probably went too early in this paywall model. And there are so many free deals out there now for MLS. If you have a certain cellular carrier, a certain cable carrier,

you essentially get this for free. So that is a really, really bad number. But I think when we found this, even on the NFL side with the Amazon games, it's like whenever you have these non-traditional ways of viewing games, even if they're free, you are automatically losing a portion of your audience because people are like, I can't figure it out.

Where the hell is this thing? It is confusing, but I will say that I think MLS probably would have made a concession. Like, you're playing, remember remember only three or four MLS clubs made the club world cup. So those are extra fixtures. And this week begins the leagues cup where MLS plays Liga Mequis.

So there's a lot of extra games that Inter-Miami have to play compared to other MLS teams. And I can totally imagine a 39 year old Leo Messi who's got a world cup on the horizon playing all these games. Like you want me to play an all-star game, an exhibition? You want me to just run around? a 39 year old Leo Messi who's got a World Cup on the horizon playing all these games. You want me to play an all-star game, an exhibition? You want me to just run around?

Well, my follow-up, Mike, is that if he didn't get suspended, if they did bend the rules for him and Jordy, who really would have been that upset? We're talking one game. Would Cincinnati have just been like, oh, this is bull? We're talking one game and they understand, I would say, the finance is the business of it, right?

Nah, that's bullshit, dude. That's bullshit. Do we prefer drew Carrie when he was heavier? Yes. Yep. Absolutely Way to bring it back man. I was really worried about the tenor of our conversation dudes a fiend Yeah, huh? Yeah drew Carrie. That's how he lost like collects sex dolls. Oh that kind of thing Yeah, let me Google that real quick