The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Happy Thanksgiling!

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

Happy Thanksgiling! Jeremy and Chris set you up for a day of celebration of our friend, Billy Gil, and his best days on the show this year. Yes, we're still grifting off the work of our former employee. Today, it's the origins of the Aspiration-Kawhi Leonard report with Pablo. "This is the quickest it goes! This is the quickest it goes! This is the quickest it goes!" Pablo Torre dropped another Pablo, and while it may be the greatest journalistic effort of his career, a couple of members of the show are (unsurprisingly) not quite as impressed as the rest of the sports world. It's time to get to the voice modulation machine to get the truth about Pablo. Today's cast: Dan, Greg, Chris, Billy, Mike, Roy, Tony, and Zaslow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The tequila. That invented tequila. Broximo.com. Please drink responsibly. Quervo. Hey, Chris here. Black Friday game day is coming to prime and it'll be an epic day of live sports.

Black Friday football is at the center of it with the Chicago Bears taking on the Philadelphia Eagles at 3 p.m. Eastern. That's followed by the final night of the Emirates Cup NBA group play and a doubleheader starting with the Bucks and Knicks at 7 p.m. And the Mavericks and Lakers at 10 p.m. What a nightcap game that is. But the whole day starts with the return of the cap.

Capital One Skins game as four elite PGA golfers face off with $4 million on the line. Black Friday Game Day tees off with Capital One Skins game at 9 a.m. Eastern before the Big Bears Eagles game at 3 p.m. And it culminates with a double dose of Emirates NBA Cup action featuring Bucks at 7 p.m. and Mavs Lakers at 10 p.m. only on Prime. This Giving Tuesday, Cam H. is counting on your support. Together, we can forge a better path for mental health by creating a future where Canadians can get the help they need when they need it, no matter who or where they are.

From November 25th to December 2nd, your donation will be doubled. That means every dollar goes twice as far to help build a future where no one's seeking help is left behind. Donate today at camh.ca.ca. Hello, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving. That's what we're doing this year. Thanksgiving. Now what, why is that? Not Thanksgiving, Billy.

Let's restart. I'm going to keep all of it. No. Oh, it's not Christmas. That's true. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Thanks, Gilling. This is very exciting, guys.

Normally on Thanksgiving, we have a few best of episodes where we just celebrate the year that was. And this year, Jeremy, somebody left us. Who's that? Billy Gill. R.P. We love Billy, and we miss him. He's still here. So we want to celebrate Billy this year by having.

some of his best moments of his last year with us. I f***ed this one up. Let's do it one more time. Okay. I didn't like, I didn't like my RIP. Okay. We're gonna do it one last time. Okay. Oh, oh, oh, Merry Thanksgiving. No, it's not Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving. Like, Billy Gill? This year, we are celebrating our year over the thing. This is terrible. We need to. That's okay. We can start that again. We need to lock it. Lock in. Oh, Merry Thanksgiving. Yeah, that's right, Jeremy.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. We want to do things a little bit differently this year. We have best selves coming this Thursday right now. That's today. Today's Thursday. We have one. Thanksgiving. We have one today.

We have one tomorrow. And they're fun. We're celebrating our friend, Billy Gill. We're calling it happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. We're going to highlight some of Billy's best moments of his final year with us. We're going to do his last show. We're going to do another great show that we found.

Yeah, that's what we're going to get today. Today, what you're going to get is the day where we were talking about aspiration and aspirationally. You like what I did there? We decided to modulate some voices because of our favorite voice modulated sound. And Billy really brought it that day. And we figured, why not highlight that incredible day, which was also a really good day for our comedy. Like, Pablo putting out all that stuff about aspiration. Pretty cool one.

One of the best shows of the year, Billy was highlighted in it. And then tomorrow, you're going to get Billy's last day. That's right. He brought all the stops. Geraimo's epic sound of the day. He brought Pippo back. So you want to check out tomorrow's show. It's something we're thankful for.

We're very thankful for Billy, our time with Billy. We're thankful for you guys, the listeners all year. Thank you. It's been a great, I know, some changes to the show, but it's been a great year for us. Our numbers have actually gone up. Yeah, we really are genuinely appreciative of the fact that you guys are listening at really a pretty amazing rate right now. And to all of the new people joining us, because we know there are. several new listeners.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here for this Thanksgiving. And happy Thanksgiving to you. Happy Thanksgiving. Let's get to the episodes. Enough of me and Jeremy yammering. It's Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Bomber. Come on! Get out! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on! Who said sit down? I have four words for you. I love this company. Yes! Football Football Football

Football Football Football Football Football Football Football Football

Football Football Uh... Uh, hey, hey, hello, it's me, Pablo Here at I'm Football, you love, love that slightly cliche chant that I as an American am contractually. I'll get it to also say, football. I'm interrupting this because I am going to join the show,

I think, to talk about a new now-not-so-secret episode of my show in our new partnership with The Athletic. That's coming up soon. So finding out, find out, foot-fine, you know, right? Okay. I have a journalistic judgment question to ask the group. Should we start with Pablo Torre dropping at 5 a.m., a Pablo drop that I suspect will be the biggest story in sports

once all the editors and writers wake up and start chasing what Pablo is reporting? Or should we talk about how Greg and Billy both think that the dolphins have a must-win game this weekend? A must-win? A must-win, Billy and Greg? And Big Mac, just so that we're not making it seem like we're two cooks, I think, that. Must win, they have said, week one, it seems a truly asinine thing to say. You want to explain it to me? I would love to, yeah.

And I say it in the context of how it would seem to be so asinine, because I hate it when people use the word must win, when it isn't literally a must win. And it's two words. Yeah, the only time it applies, really, is a game seven in the finals or something like that. But I will say this, expectations are so low for the dolphins, particularly relative to the hurricanes, but in general, expectations are low. Not expected to be a playoff team. Indianapolis is not very good. Okay? Indianapolis is a team they can beat, dare say should beat, even on the road. And so I just think if the dolphins lose this game Sunday, their whole season sags right out the gate.

I think they need this win in a big way just to entice the fans, just to get the fans a little bit excited, which they're not right now. The Pablo Tori's football. He's exactly right. Here's the problem, is that some people, Greg, and Dan seems to be one of these people, don't seem to understand every game counts exactly the same. So if this game was being played week 17, you say that's a big game, that's a must win. They've got to win this.

But they're playing that game week one. So you've got to win the Indianapolis game. Daniel Jones is their quarterback. If you can't be Daniel Jones, you have no business. The Colts overcame the fact that they had a quarterback playing for them who didn't know how to play quarterback who had started like all of 15 games in college and the pros and would appear to be something of a bust. Yeah, like are we forgetting?

I understand what you're saying the Colts, they're not very good. The Dolphins and Colts both won eight games last year. Yeah. Like the Colts are definitely looking at the Dolphins with the exact same mindset. If we don't be that team, you know, our season's sunk too. He gets it. Like, it felt good when they announced Daniel Jones. It's like, nice.

Daniel Jones sucks. Right. It's better than Anthony Richardson. Yeah, arguably. No, he's better than, no. What do you mean arguably, Greg? Daniel Jones is a bust. Uh-huh.

Nobody likes Daniel Jones. Greg, he won a playoff game. Anthony Richardson started 15 games, made about seven good throws, got hurt a bunch. It's a great throws. And doesn't know how to play quarterback because he doesn't have the reps of having played quarterback. Like, that's, Daniel Jones knows how to play quarterback. The Colts have to be at least a three-point favorite in the game.

Are they not? One-and-a-half. One-and-a-half, which means the betters think Miami's a slightly better team. If they're going to be beaten, it's going to be by Jonathan Taylor, not Daniel Jones. No, no, no. If the Colts are at home and a one-and-a-half-point favorite, I understand what you're saying, that three points go to the home team. But if the Colts are favored, the money is saying that the Colts are going to win the game. They're favored to win the game.

But you know how odds go. I do. but the dolphins are on the road. This is not a home team. It's not the better team playing at home that is the dolphins. This is the better team being the Colts because they're at home. In Dan's defense, it's weird for you to hear the line and say, well, that suggests the dolphins are three points better.

I don't understand how that, no, the line suggests that the Colts are one and a half points better. Well, which means the dolphins are one and a half points better on a neutral field. You guys don't get it. I get what he's saying, though, because usually the home team gets a minus three. So it's a plus one and a half. Thank you. There's a math there. One game that gets played in that league on a neutral field,

then. It's the last one. So the Dolphins and Colts were in the Super Bowl. No, no, Friday. There's one Friday. The NFL starts Friday with a game on a neutral field. Thursday, starts Thursday, then. Tricky league. It starts, it starts tomorrow?

Yeah, tomorrow. But the Brazil game. You didn't know this? No, I thought it started tanning. We've got the Eagles in the Cowboys' ass already. The Brazil game is Friday to Dan's point. Hold on a second. Would tomorrow night have been going on and you wouldn't have been watching?

Well, Friday night would have been going on and I wouldn't have been watching because I didn't know until yesterday when it scrolled. When it's scrolled across on YouTube, I'm like, wait a minute, there's a game Friday night as well? Brazil? I was not aware of that. A couple high-profile teams playing tomorrow night. Yeah, I've just turned now. I heard.

Big game. That's, thank you for informing. Game of the year. Must win, guys. Yeah. Yes. I mean, we're going to take your word for you. You didn't even know the season started tomorrow.

What do you know? How are Dolphin fans going to feel about their season if they lose that game? They're going to feel like it's over. Ugly. So that's why it's ugly. It'll be ugly. Oh, but wait a minute. it though. The Colts fans, how they're going to feel? Who cares about Colts fans? They lose that game.

They're not people. Colts fans are looking at that and saying that the dolphins are an eminently beatable football team. That is ripe for total collapse. I know a big deal was made a few days ago that they didn't make Tyree kill a captain, which was only the easiest and most obvious decision that Mike McDaniel has made since he's been coach of the Dolphins. No, falsehoods. That was a sign that Tyreek Hill actually is a captain. And we talked about this weeks ago. And we said the captains are going to come out. And Tyreek has been someone that, you know, is at odds with his teammates. He's been named a captain for years now. And if he's named a captain, we know he's not a captain because he accepted that role. However, if he's not a captain, it shows he's a true leader

and he says, you know what, I'm going to step down. I'm going to take a step back. And he's really a true captain and a leader on this team by not accepting the label of captain. What the hell are you talking about. No, he's right. It shows growth and leadership and maturity. Okay. It's very important to note that Mike McDaniel does not pick the captains. It's a team vote. It's a player vote. I think it's very significant that the players themselves demoted Tyree Kill because they were fed up with him refusing to go in a game late last season and then making all these uncaptain-like, un-leadership-like moves on social media before finally retracting with his tail between his legs. He, as Tua said, and I give Tua credit for this.

On opening day of training camp, Tua comes out and says Tyreek has to earn back the respect of the team, and apparently he hadn't when they voted for captains. I think it's a big deal. I'm going to have to side with Billy here. Thank you. They probably all gathered in the locker room, and Tyreek Hill probably stepped forward and said,

guys, I shouldn't be captain, which is a true captain. It could be. Leadership move. Nonsense. Good correction there. I thought that Mike McDaniel had made that decision. The players making that decision. The guy doesn't make any decisions.

It's fairly obvious. Isn't it one of those things, though, where all the votes go to Mike McDaniel? So he's sitting in the office, counting the votes. I mean, he can kind of say, whoa, whatever he wants. Chris Cody finds out. Right in ballots. Voter fraud and Dolphins' captain election? Nothing stopping them.

Put it on the poll, please. Now players are going up to Tyreek like, hey, man, I voted for you. I don't know what happened. And he's saying I'm a leader. I don't need this, guys. I think for the betterment of the team, you guys be the captains this year. Put it on the poll, please. at your leisure at Lebitard show.

Did the Dolphins players make Tyreek Hill the captain and did Mike McDaniel then jerry rig the vote? Well, that's one view. If the correct probably view is that Tyreek Hill said, you know what, for the betterment of the team of the organization, I'm going to step down. I don't think it's a stretch to say he's laying down the foundation for Walter Payton a man of the year.

I do. I wish you to let that silence. Silence sit, Greg. Why wouldn't you? Really? So you object to Billy's contention that Tyreale might be an NFL man of the year. It was important. If he didn't say anything, someone may have thought that Greg agreed.

I wanted the silence. If we could have just stared at him for five seconds, it would have been funny. I let it sit for 2.5 seconds. You didn't let it sit at all. It's a quick clock on that. 2.5 is quick. I know you're 2.5 seconds. Some people, by the way, have also said Walter Payton Man of the Year is really the most important trophy that you can win, not the Lombardi.

Yeah, laughable. Greg, can you get a little closer to the microphone place? You're trying to disannoy me at this point. The NFL says it's their biggest trophy, which is ridiculous. No offense to Walter Payton. Or Tyree Kill, potentially. Rest in peace. Right, exactly.

Or his son who Dan thought was a bathroom attendant. Yeah. No, it's crazy, though. Come on. I did not think he was a bathroom attendant. I thought he was at the kiosk handing out tourist pamphlets. I did not think he was a bathroom attendant. That is not how far.

extreme my racism ran i simply made him the convention center pamphlet handler which is also insulting your glasses are also fogging i know they're they're poorly it's the coffee i think they're poorly what they're my they were fitted wrong for my head so they sit too close to my eyeballs the cody nose i'm the cody nose um no they're it's badly designed i'm not going to say who the you know, eye doctor is that I go to because I don't want to... McGillicuddy? No, no, it's not McGillicuddy. Greg, the coffee.

What's happening with the fogging of the glasses is that your coffee is hot. And you're fogging the glasses by drinking coffee. Yeah. I love coffee. Coffee. Everybody loves coffee. It's the American drink. No, not everyone.

Yeah. Some people don't like it. Yeah. Put it on the poll at Levitard show. Does everyone love coffee? I learned something that I did not know when I was in Hawaii. I guess, evidently, that, uh, coffee prices have exploded because of the tariff situation.

It's one of the things that have happened where we don't have a lot in America of the kind of soil that you need to make some of the best coffee. So you can do some of that. You can find some of that in Hawaii. And where else, I guess Puerto Rico might have some climate that you would want for coffee, but we don't make coffee well. And America's addicted to coffee. Put it on the poll at Levitard show.

Does everyone like coffee? because, have you guys seen the coffee prices explode in a way that you're noticing it, the way that people notice that egg prices were exploding? Nah. A little bit. A little bit. Like, I buy 10K cups of an unnamed brand. It was always $9.99, you know, basically a buck a cup for years. And now it's like $12.99, $13.99.

That's pretty big hike. I thought Zazlo was going to bring in a plain stick today. What happened? Oh, my God. Yeah, good job. Good job. Good job. Why can't someone remind me?

I got to remember everything. You blew it. You got to remember to get a plain stick at Dunkin' Donuts when that's your thing. You said yesterday that's my thing. I'm going to bring it in tomorrow. And now I'm annoyed because now I'd really like to eat a plane stick right now. And everyone said, and then we put it on a poll, and 85% of the people said they didn't know what a plane stick was. And you were going to show us today what a plane stick was.

I've let everyone down today. Yeah, you have. It's okay. We're used to. Yo, you don't have to agree so quick, Greg. Brick's a Cuban coffee. You're out of control if you're asking. asking me, Dan. Like Yava Bustello, they used to be like $1.99 or something for like a brick down near $5 now.

It's crazy. Put it on the poll as well at Levitux show. Have you noticed that coffee prices have exploded? Folks, what if I told you you could give a gift that brings your favorite holiday traditions and memories to life every single day? With AuraFram, you can. In the Cody family, the holiday tradition isn't just dinner. It's a spectacle every year.

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slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis. Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories, and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. On Fox 1, you can stream your favorite live sports, so you're there for the biggest moments as they happen. For me, I cannot deal with spoilers, so I need to see it live, especially on college football Saturdays and NFL Sundays. With Fox 1, you get it all. NASCAR, the MLB postseason, edge of your seat plays, jaw-dropping moments, and that rush like

you're right there in the action. Sports are meant to be watched live, and you can do that with Fox One. Fox One, we live for live, streaming now. Don Libotard. You don't remember the idea for a home runoff? I was probably like, that kind of thing. Something.

Okay, no, the home run call was that kind of swing, that kind of thing. Stugats. Oh, it's a good call. Thank you. And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailing it to a particular name. Correct.

name, you know, all that jazz. You know, you don't kind of do that. Oh, that would be a great call. Up and away. That kind of swing, that kind of thing. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. The Pablo Tori finds out story that I do believe, I don't know. You guys have now seen it.

It dropped at 5 o'clock. Do we have any special imaging, even though we're coming in a couple of times? of hours late on what it is that's happening with Pablo Tori. His episode dropped at 5 a.m. this morning. He's been working on it for seven months, okay, because this is his first assignment and in partnership with the athletic, and he's coming out with the biggest story I think he's ever had. But you guys have now seen some of the story. Did we overpromise and underdeliver? Did we promise correctly? Or did we under promise and overdeliver? Because we normally don't talk this positively about something that's coming out, but I really do believe that even in a football

week, as soon as people see what the size of this story is, it's got some nuance in it. Some of his stories are hard to report cleanly, like just saying, hey, this thing is so, and it's a fact because you're accusing people of things, and there's lawyering involved, you don't want to get sued. You have to, like, you have to make sure that you have your facts right on a story like this. You can't be flippant about it. But where, so if anyone here is accused of violating the salary cap with a, for example, an alleged $28 million no-show job for Kauai Leonard, a superstar that everyone was wondering when the Clippers got him, how did that happen? Uncle Dennis was involved. Kauai was asking for a ton of things.

Did we overpromise? I'll be honest. when Pablo first started mentioning this like a few weeks ago and I got a big story coming out and David was mentioning

he's saying he's got a big story coming out I was like all right it's like better be a doozy all right because Pablo's had a couple stories

that felt pretty big and you're saying this one's bigger so I'll admit I was skeptical you know is this going to come like it's not that big

of a thing and then I see it this morning and it's a pretty big thing I think I think that people are going to be I think they're going to be a lot of trouble with this story. I mean, heck, I was listening on the way in here on Sirius XM on NBA radio.

They were all over it. Like, they were talking about the story and Pablo this, Pablo, that. Like, I think once people are starting to wake up today, they see the story, I think it's big trouble. Yeah, I normally have below average interest in business stories and stories that involve contracts, but this is a true blockbuster. And I think the size of it, the weight of it, is going to be known when the repercussions come in. Like, is, is

Balmer going to be suspended? Are they going to be fined? Or the club are going to be fined? They can't lose draft picks because OKC's got them all. Yeah, exactly. But what are they going to? You know, is the deal going to be negated? No, the punishment should be they have to keep Kauai Leonard. That's the punishment.

That's fair. Good last year, Zaz. They would love to get out from that contract. I kind of poo-pooed the last one of these Pablo's. This one, this one's big. It's a good one. Kind of like the Woj has a Woj bomb. This. is a Pablo.

Pablo. Whoa. That's the dropping of a Pablo? Yeah, he's blown away. Like, can you feel it? Oh, yeah, I can't. Is there a Pablo out there? It's brisk, but it's not like powerful.

Maybe that's like a nuke, and this is like the nuclear winner sound afterwards. It sounds to me like a Pablo. This is the dropping of a Pablo. Get back in the workshop and see if you can make better image. if you can make better imaging for that. Dan, that costs $7,000. I feel nervous. What's, uh, what's Pablo's security detail like provided by Metal Arc?

Because he's pissing off a lot of powerful people who, uh, you know, maybe might try to kill him. I don't know if, uh, people listening to this, uh, that was not, I don't think that people, uh, necessarily, the discerning ones do. I don't think that people necessarily see what's happening throughout the entirety of media and sports media that makes it more and more difficult with all of these corporate partnerships and all of these teams not caring for sports journalism. And as far as I can tell, I'm not sure how much sports fans care for sports journalism until it's done this kind of thoroughly and they then enjoy, of course, the scandal.

But what's happening throughout sports journalism is resources throughout law. local news throughout everything, not just sports, is that it's all being hacked to death by an assortment of efficiency cuts and people not seeing this stuff as important. So Metal Arc Media has made a substantive investment in making sure that this show can do what outside the lines used to do, what HBO Real Sports used to do in the podcast form. No one else is doing this in the podcast form in sports. Let's play a clip from Pablo Tori finds out. This episode dropped at 5 a.m.

We will get better imaging for when it is a Pablo drops. Do you remember the first time that you discovered Kawhi Leonard's endorsement agreement with Aspiration? Oh, it was within the first 30 days of my employment with the company. And I didn't so much as discover it as I was told about it. What was your reaction? What were you told? my reaction was what the fuck and I was told like oh these are the major contracts and the major players

you really need to be aware of and we went through a litany of you know really really top-tier name contracts and then oh by the way we also have a marketing deal with Kauai Leonard a $28 million organic marketing sponsorship deal with Kauai and that if I had any questions about it essentially don't because it was to circumvent the salary cap LOLL. There was lots of LOL when things were shared. Did you ever see proof of Kauai Leonard marketing or endorsing aspiration in any way? Never not once. The single largest payment to an individual for marketing that aspiration ever made has completely evaded all press. Nothing. He didn't have to do anything.

In other words, Kauai Leonard got from Aspiration a $28 million no-show job. Yeah, it's amazing. I'm honestly so jealous. I mean, he's got the dream. Like, it's within my beliefs to be paid $28 million and do absolutely fuck all as well. One of the things that I wrote down on a piece of paper when we left the ESPN in terms of aspirational bullet points, there weren't that many. But one of them was, I'd like to start something that, allows me to use a voice modulator. And I don't think we do it particularly well here.

No, that was bad because that was very clearly Boban. Yeah. I think it's pretty obvious to anybody who worked with that person who that is. Like, I believe his voice is distinctive enough. Oh, I sign in a pronoun. Okay. That while it is that we're listening to it, we don't know who it is. But I think the people who would be mad that that person spoke would recognize that voice. I don't think we use the voice modulator very well.

So identifiable, unbelievable. What? Yeah. That guy, to people who know him, to people who work for that company, how can you know that? The voice sounds different. Please. I mean, what if it's a woman?

It's possible. In fact, I would say, in my opinion, I heard that. I'm like, ah, it's possibly a woman. And to hear you guys speak with such certainty that it's not, it probably speaks to the fact that it might be a good voice modulation. You know what? I need to slightly take that back because I erred in assuming that it was or is a man. Where I don't think I aired is in thinking that we would be bad as a group at voice modulation

and that therefore that would be a man because to disguise the voice and have it be a woman would be well done. I don't believe we did it that well. The second episode of Pablo Torre finds out is we track down whether or not that's a man or a woman. Hey, there's spaces in between. Dan Levatard. I'm going to get some golf, A-S-M-R. Stugats. Oh, fuck me.

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stucats. Greg Cody, uh, I wanted us to find when he came in here today. Um, what I have spoken about before, which is the one time that he was using a voice modulator, uh, when he suggested in print, something that Zaslo still makes fun of him about 30 years later, that the dolphins trade Dan Marino. Oh, my God.

I'm the only person in this room whose voice has been modulated, so I speak from experience. Well, Chris has done some voice modulation with a new toy that he has back there that we've given him, because, again, the bullet points were I wanted to be good at voice modulation, and we're still not good at voice modulation. I also snitched on Balmur-O-Po. Oops. Greg, would you please get in that seat over there where our voice modulator is? in the middle seat and see since you, I'd like to see if we can get slightly better at the voice modulation here. I'm on it.

In front of, he loved, Greg Cody loved that in 1990, thereabouts, can you look at the date on that framed column over there? It's probably 93? On the wall, on when it is that Greg Cody, the most memorable column Greg Cody has ever written. 93. In 1993, he blasphemed sacrilege. He traded Dan Marino in print, and afterward, I thought it was Channel 10 that interviewed him, although he said it was Jim Barry, who I think is still on the air. I think Jim Barry is still on the air.

Anchor chair. And he had his voice and his face modulated like you would a whistleblower or anybody whose identity you were trying to conceal who was giving you information that was dangerous for them to be known to be giving. and so he once did an interview in front of the Miami Herald building that way, and he wanted us to find it for him from 30 years

ago, and I feel like I would have had to go straight to Jim Barry and ask him to go through things I would have to put in a VCR in order to get them to play because this is so old it's 10 years before the internet, never mind social media. Pablo would have found it.

Maybe Pablo can find it so that we can hear a young sounding Greg Cody, but Greg, let me hear Let me see if your voice would be well disguised here if we modulated it here instead of using all of the resources that Pablo has. Hello, this is not Greg Cody, that kind of thing. And you know it.

Okay. Any questions? I want the whole show like this. Do you? You want Greg to sit in there all show? Must win for the dolphins, huh? It's not Greg. But I do. agree with Greg.

Why are you talking so slow? Why are you talking so slow? The opens need to win this opener. It's because you can hear yourself. It's kind of awkward. What do you mean? Greg, do you have a back of my day? A what?

I stand behind Greg for not doing back in my days anymore. You all have him singing songs and doing so many ancillary things that is ridiculous. And you know, Talk faster.

Why he's talking so slow? I'm talking at my normal speed. This is, uh, yeah, my wife loves this deep, sexy voice, I'll tell you that. How would you talk to her with it? Yeah, baby. What's your wife's name? I forget. You're not Greg, so, uh...

Yeah, I'm not Greg. My wife's name is Eileen. Come on, Eileen. I lean that way. And you know it. Come on, Eileen. I didn't say that. Roy said it.

I know. I was like, we're doing a duo thing, back and forth. And then you know it. You, you, I have to, I have to admit that that is not only an exceptional voice simulator. It's at least in part exceptional, because the person speaking is clearly about 350 pounds heavier than Greg Cody. You can hear the, you can, you can, we could play a game where you turn a And then we told someone in here talks and you have to guess who's doing it. Yeah.

Oh, that's a good idea. Baby. I think we're doing pretty well with Greg here. Yeah, we'll just cook. Although I also think that Billy could do all of this better. Let's, uh, Billy, would you go outside, please go? Because I want to do, uh, what is the pixelation called? I guess that's what it's called.

Pixelation. Yeah, you nailed it. Yeah, good job, yeah. Yeah, well done. Now, if you're telling me to go do something pixelation, people will know it's me because you just told me to do it. Right. Which defeats the purpose of the pixelation.

Let's do something then where no one could ever know it's you. I want you to put on what... Now they'll know because, again, you're saying me. Just say someone should do it and then no one will know who it is. All right. Like say Greg, Greg, why don't you go do it, Greg? I could do that. If I can find Greg, I'll let him know.

Okay, good. I still can't get over the Zaslo, forgot the plane sticks. Oh, I don't know why you got to keep bringing that up. Would it kill someone to remind me in the morning? I got a lot going on. Tomorrow you're going to bring in a plain stick. If someone reminds me. Bring it enough for everybody.

All right, someone please leave the room and, or someone, go into another room, a total mystery figure. And let's see if we can figure out who that person is based on whatever it is, the maximum disguise that we can pour resources into so that we can actually do this correctly before we try the game that Chris is. which is I have to turn my back to things and figure out who's talking at the microphone. We will do that in a moment, and we will also get to the fact that the state of Florida has three teams in the top 15. The biggest stunner, FSU, all of a sudden, in the top 15, going from 13 and 1 to 2 and 10 to now back in the top 15. That is a roller coaster ride. Boy, do they look good. The overreaction to their beating Alabama to vault them.

from unranked to number 10 is ridiculous. Good thing they were in 10th, though. They were 14. Well, still, my point is well made. That kind of thing. You not only sound like you're 450 pounds. You also, because of how slow you're talking, you sound like you're slurring.

Like, you sound like you've had a great deal to drink. Right. Well, here's the thing. You know, I was born this way. You know, don't make fun of my voice. Now, I can artificially try to talk even quicker and see how it turns out. But this is the quickest it goes. Hey, this is the quickest it goes, everybody.

This is the quickest it goes. Yeah, this is the quickest it goes. All right. This is the quickest it goes. All right, we go on to the other room where Billy obviously is better at all of these things than we are. Let's go out to a super secret person who clearly is not Billy. It's somebody else. Let's see if we can figure out who this is.

This is good, and the voice is going to be changed. Yeah, yeah, you're good. So we're talking about Pablo? Oh, he broke another story. Big deal. Wow. We're with the athletic now. We're breaking serious news.

How about this for breaking news? Football starts on Thursday. You're releasing a story on Wednesday. And what's the story? Oh, a rich guy did something a little bit sketchy and maybe got around laws. Who could have seen that coming? Billionaires getting their way by not following the law

and making up fake tree planting companies. I'm shocked. Agast. How about this? Philadelphia Eagles. Thursday. Football starts. Friday.

Brazil. Saturday. F.I.U. Penn State. Sunday. Sunday night football. The NFL full slate is back. Monday. This story has what?

A day to exist? And we're going to throw a big party to find out that all of a sudden these people are not all on the up and up, allegedly. Who cares? Why do we need this? Like, do Pablo not get enough attention as a child? And now we have to stop everything that we do.

Every time he puts out a podcast episode and pretend, like, we've discovered some sort of great thing that's going to change the world. No one cares. No one cares about this story. No one's going to care about it. Everybody's flying down to throw up a party. They're sending all these, do not report until 5 a.m. on Wednesday, as if I want to tell my friends about this story anyway.

Like, I want to talk like, did you hear about Kauai Leonard and Steve Ballmer? No, no one gives a shit about Steve Balmer and Kuala Ler. Here's the story. They cheated and they still suck. They haven't won anything. Why don't you explore that? Why don't you find out why they keep cheating and can't win? That's the interesting thing.

If anything, cheat better. This isn't even good cheating. You haven't one shit. Who cares about this story? Who cares about the Clippers? Who cares about Kauai Lenders? Who cares about replanting trees? It's ridiculous.

I do want to talk about what a great fake business, the tree planting business is. My God, Dan, if you're talking about fraud, the one thing you got to do is make sure that you're not selling something that can be traced back to you, right? Hey, yeah, we planted the tree. See that tree right there? We planted it. And you're like, really? Wow, how much it costs you $100,000? No biggie.

And you just multiply that for $28 million. You'd play a trillion trees. Everybody's happy. You replant the rainforest and you never did anything and you get all this money, and it doesn't matter. What an incredible fraud. I think that that mystery figure was indeed right when he or she shrugs his or her shoulders and says, oh, big surprise, a billionaire skirting the rules. However, one of the shocking things about this to me, many, many years ago, can you look this up for me and see if it is indeed true because it might be an urban myth? but for many years, the greatest example of cheating in sports with money used to be Eric Dickerson

in the way that he was recruited, and specifically the way SMU recruited him before SMU went on like this total probation because they were cheating everywhere. And the story goes, and please look this up for me to see if it's true, because I've asked Eric Dickerson and he will not confirm it. And I can't remember if it's true or urban myth that SMU offered him and oiled well that's 40 years ago to see that make an appearance in the pros

because of course they're going to try and get around the salary cap and Mark Cuban one time got gonged because he just let Dennis Rodman stay at his house for a while because they're very particular about we're legislating equality here bad teams get better we need everything to be competitive when you circumvent the salary cap as it looks like the clippers did

to land Kawhi Leonard with a $28 million no-show job that used to be the exclusive domain of colleges and the way that colleges recruited before they could pay players is legitimately shocking to me, even understanding that Uncle Dennis and Kauai were working in the shadows and weren't doing business the way necessarily Balmer usually does business. How unlikely is it to you guys that Steve Balmer is the only billionaire that tried this in a cap sport? because my take after this reporting by Pablo is, I think there are some other owners that are getting little nervous. Name names.

I thought that, and I've never been able to actually confirm this, because I thought that for a while there, when China was making its way in and the Chinese endorsements were making their way into the sport, that there were creative ways that an assortment of owners were leveraging relationships to get people endorsement money because of the relationships that they had in China that would have been outside of the salary cap and had some promises in it that would allow this. But a $28 million no-show job is beyond the pale. Like this is to pay someone

that much for something that they didn't even have to do an endorsement deal, that the whole thing just seemed kind of bogus because he was hiding behind some plants, hiding behind some plants and tree planting. Do we know for sure that it didn't plant any trees? That's what they say. So the thing is, if you're going to go through with a good scam, you've got to have the backstory, right? You got to have Kawhin some Timbalin boots with a shovel.

You got to have them next to a couple of trees, a little bit of dirt on his face, a little bit of sweat. And you're like, look, he's planting these trees. What was his no-show job at this company? No show. It was to no-show. Tree planter? Was he just picturing with the tree?

Like, what was his job? He was a celebrity endorser, like Robert Downey Jr. They were spending a lot of money on celebrity endorsements. I like the LLC that he created to get payment, KW2. Like, they're really hiding the... Could be anything, though. Well, I mean, you may as well as named it's Salary Cap cheating LLC. Like, KW2.

They had the name of the fake company in it. Well, part of the outrage here is the stupidity. The idea that they have a fake company for Kauai Leonard and don't even go through the pretense of him actually having a job. It would be so easy to fake that. Have him do an ad, have him do a commercial, a peer in a magazine. They did none of that. But to Mike's point, and he's right, I instantly wondered if this team is so ham-handedly

trying to circumvent the salary cap, it's got to be going on not only in the NBA, but in every major sport. I don't think so. Okay, you say that. The MLS is overtly doing it with Messy. I mean, they have rules that designated players can make what they want, but the pot was sweetened with Apple, and we just understand the business that Messi brings over to that league,

and everybody is okay with it. But there is just no way on earth that Steve Balmer was the first person to think of this and execute it. No way. Now, other people may be better at covering up their tracks. I assume, I can only assume, that there are teams right now looking into this kind of. thing. In fairness to Kauai and Steve Balmer, sometimes seeds just don't take. That is true. You know, like, I don't know

if you've ever had to, like, the school project where your kid bring homes like a pumpkin scene. You're like, wow, I'm going to have a pumpkin patch in my backyard and now never pay for pumpkins again at Halloween. And it just never grows. So it's possible they got dud season. They're the real victims here. Can you look up for me, please, what are the greatest

salary cap scandals in the history of sports? Because we're fascinated by the numbers. Chuan Howard and the heat. The salary cap. Yeah. After that one, Pat Riley had the famous quote that the NBA office made him feel like he had just gone back from the proctologist and they'd stuck a hundred foot pole up because they overrode the Juan Howard trade. But when you guys, or the Juan Howard transaction, when you guys are cynical and understandably saying, ah, this probably happens all the time, that's one thing. I don't agree with it because they're very vigilant about investigating this stuff. and the penalties are harsh and will be harsh.

But they did investigate this previously and found nothing. So they weren't super vigilant. No, but this is my point exactly. It's one thing to suspect it. It's a whole other thing to be able to prove it. And it's in public now and it feels proven. That one is what's rare about it. Like, you can have your cynicism,

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