The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Honolulu Izzy Covers a New Team

Episode Date: August 8, 2025

"Hey Joe, they can hear you in Naples!" Tony is inching closer to having a chance to move into 1st place for Best Prediction In Show History, and, uh, should we talk Dolphins football? Today's cast: Mike, Izzy, Chris, Jeremy, Roy, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you're a forward thinker, you don't just bring your A game, you bring your AI game. Workday is the AI platform that transforms the way you manage your people, money, and agents, so you can transform tomorrow. Workday, moving business forever forward. This is the Dan Levatore show with the Stucats podcast. He's gone. It's all right. You can stop complaining. happy Friday everybody David Samson's not here I am

as he is Tony's here I thought this was a really good day I thought he was talking about somebody totally different but no we're just talking about in-house got you Jeremy's here Roy's here Chris Cody's here

nothing says football is here quite like one leg pointing in one direction and a pinky pointing in another Anthony Richardson not doing anything to dispel the narrative surrounding his health and fitness and it looks like

Danny Dimes may get some playing time earlier than we thought I know it's weird for me to start a show that's based in Miami with Colts talk but the Miami Dolphins open the season with the Indianapolis Colts and now you may have a different quarterback. And Anthony Richardson was a gator so you know it's Florida. Also I

loved the headline so much on ESPN's stack there where it said Anthony Richardson dislocates finger on Big Sack and I was like, what? Do tell. First of all I thought Did that ever happen to you? No, I didn't know you had bones down there.

You do have that bad finger, though. I think you get a lot of skin. Where'd you get that finger injury? This happened just playing flag football. I don't even know if it even looks that gross. Getting a big sack? It was on a flag pull of some sort because I just took off my glove and it was just pointing sideways. Kind of like that.

That's kind of gross. We're showing the picture right now on our video screen, and I don't like it. All right, so I've only seen the still, but I was listening to the Big Dog Joe Rose today. Oh, on FM. FM, big news. We've come right back around. Wait, what? We're trying again.

I drove in today. It was 45 minutes of Hollywood being like, hey, Joe, they can hear you in Naples. And he was like, oh. It was great. Good morning over there in Naples. So now they're on 104-3, the shark, but not the shark. That's right. It's Q-A-M.

You remember when they took us off the shark and they didn't tell us as a legacy show that helped keep the station alive. But now it's Q-A-M, but it's on 104-3. You guys sounded so different on FM. It's like a whole different group of people. That's how I felt about the Big Dog this morning. Yeah. Well, it was great to hear an AM lifer explain in the year 2025. Guys, this FM signal, game changer.

Crystal clear. Hey, Joe, they hear you in Vero Beach. Hey, how are you doing it up there? Vero Beach. I got to tell you, this is nutty. I loved every single second of it. But Big Dog told me that Anthony Richardson, that hit came from the front. You got to see that.

You got to be better than that, kid. This isn't come from the side. It came from the front. Now, I didn't see the play, but I trust the big dog with my life. So it looks like Danny Dimes is going to get some earlier playing time. Well, I mean, let's be real. We all thought he was going to get earlier playing time. Well, that was my first thought was immediately thinking,

hey, Tony told you you can go and bet on Daniel Jones for MVP. It's almost a sure thing the way that he was talking about it. And hey, before the season, It's like plus 20,000 starts. Danny Dimes. It's quite the leap from getting, you know, QB1 reps. What's the first step, though? Very true.

His being out of the way, right? I also put a little quit on Teddy Bridgewater. I saw that he signed with a bucks, and he might just be two injuries away from getting an MVP. Hang out a second. Hang out a second. Because if Daniel Jones wins the MVP this season, Tony has now taken over a mean spot as greatest prediction in the history of this show. Because if we remember, he had the Gino Smith saying, almost specifically giving him exact numbers for the season. And everybody's like, well, that's crazy.

And he almost hit those numbers to the number. And now we've got Daniel Jones as an MVP, and it's starting. It's starting. The first step is Anthony Richardson out of the way. All of a sudden, Daniel Jones comes in, starts looking good, starts building a little bit of momentum. All of a sudden, Shane Steichen and them boys, start putting some wins together. Danny Dimes is the reason why all of a sudden. These are my favorite kind of pre-season prop bets, though.

Like, I'm down to go around the room. 20,000 to one. Who has this type of prop bet for me? Give me something like this. Did you not listen to what he just said? Did you not listen to what he said? Didn't you say Chop Robinson might lead the league in sacks? Yeah, well, like Cleveland Analytics.

He's big on Chop Robinson and he's like, this is a one shot. Did you hear what you did? It could apply to literally anyone in the league. You know, wait a second. But the problem is the one that I started on has. the momentum. I am so in on this. What happened when Sequin Barclay left the Giants?

The dude turned into the greatest running back in the NFL. So now Danny Dimes gets his opportunity with the Colts? I don't know, man. Dude might be hurtling people ass first next year. Like that's the type of shit that might happen. If Daniel

Jones, if he's going to be MVP, he's got to do some crazy stuff. All right, let me tell you what you did, Tony. This is like a word-for-word reenactment. To the best of my ability. Baker Mayfield, undersized, could get hurt. Kyle Trask, we don't know too much about him. Right? Unproven commodity in the NFL.

Boom, all of a sudden, Teddy Bridgewater, veteran presence with a talented team around them. They make a deep run. Yeah. Teddy Bridgewater, legend. I literally forgot that. Todd Bulls and them boys, that's the other part that I need to add that. Todd Bulls and them boys, there you go, MVP. You could literally do that about anybody.

It's quite the leap. Yeah, the thing is, Baker's not hurt. Anthony Richardson is for an indefinite amount of time. So, like, you're theoretical, yes, for sure. That could possibly one day maybe happen. Mine started yesterday. Right, but baked into this whole premise is that it's Daniel Jones still. Again, you never know.

But it's also the New York Giants. I think that's what we're missing out on. Brian DeBall and those boys are terrible. And so anything that they do in New York could just be, you know, smoke and mirrors. It could be when they go somewhere else. They're absolutely fantastic. And didn't they already announce that there was going to be a quarterback competition in Indianapolis before they even signed Daniel Jones, which is telling you that even if Anthony Richardson was healthy, Daniel Jones could have taken over that job. I like you breaking down the Indianapolis Colts, and this reminds me of something that we were chatting about before the show.

You sounded like an authority right now on the New York Giants. And the Colts. Yeah, and the Colts. You know, you could cover this league, Izzy. Maybe. You can cover it. You play flag football. Should start like one team at a time.

But this is exactly. So it actually happened with Joe Rose today. Maybe he's just like the through line. We were all listening to the big dog. We were free base in the big dog today. 100%. He was struggling a little bit. He was clear in his throat a lot.

At tequila last night. He admitted that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, at a corporate sponsored event. A lot of Dolphin fans there. How the leading street in you. I had to sneak out of there, though. You know I got to be up early.

But one of the subjects there was who's going to finish in second in the AFC East. and it made me so sad slash angry to think that we've already cycled through to where the New England Patriots might be better than the Dolphins again. Love the past season. And they're super exciting. They've got the young quarterback.

They've got the new coach. And it's just like, wow, they might be something. And already on the side of the road is the bleeping dolphins and the main storyline is, will Tyreek Hill be on the team after the trade deadline? And I hate that shit. It just makes me, it's the opposite of what, you should be in preseason football was have some sort of hope.

So what I wanted to do, you've done this in the past a little bit when you switched off of the Browns, right? But you didn't really pick one team, did you? No, I lean. The shield. I picked the shield. I loved my free agency year, and I toured the league's finest facilities, and I got to enjoy game day experiences.

I got to see Patrick Mahomes versus Tom Brady. I got to see Aaron Rogers versus Josh Allen. Might have money, by the way. Well, game time. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Unless they're not, are they on hiatus? Still, game time.

Still, do you use game time. Still the industry leader. Chris did it also, right? Sort of. Yeah, the charges. I switched. I have kind of settled, though. I'm a Bucks guy because of Baker.

I like the Bills, too. There's also like a weird kinship between Browns fans and Bill's fans, because when the Browns first left the NFL, the Bills welcomed, displaced Browns fans into Ralph Wilson Stadium. Yeah, and they always treated the Browns fans. fans fans as like, you know, they commiserate over their bad football team. So there was always something kind of there. And I really enjoyed my time there in Buffalo. And now my algo's already cooked.

I got all sorts of Cameron Ward. Propaganda? Yeah. I mean, he's got to be good. When Chris did it, he basically just took the charges, right? Was there a reason for it? It was because the two of Justin Herbert thing. I was like, I want that quarterback.

And then as soon as I did that, the dolphins got really good. So maybe this might work for you. Well, I'm going to do it a little bit differently, right? I'm not picking a team to just flat out be a fan of because that's going to be hard. Like, if the Dolphins surprise me and are good, then I have to have like full fandom for two different teams. That's not the way I want to do it. I want to do it where I'm just diving into this team almost as if I was covering it. Like I'm going to get subscriptions to whatever local newspapers there are and anywhere in the world.

You're going to do radio hits? Yeah. Anywhere in the world. If you want to talk about X team, you're going to think about it. at least giving me a call because I'm going to have like pro football rankings of every focus focus ranking of every single yes covers the at you know I might even NFL team here might even reactimate reactivate my ex account and just change my bio wow expert is he back on X yeah your X account is just solely devoted to this team that you

are covering exactly it's a fan account right well well no no no we're a reporter a cat he's got bona fides fan no he's got bona fides I don't do this oh wow wow Wow, guys, the NFL news, it never stops. According to Jordan Schultz, Colts QB Anthony Richardson, who was declared out last night with a finger injury, had x-rays come back clean, and we'll be back on the practice field.

How could that be clean? In the coming days. I'll tell you, it's a clean dislocation. Do we put that photo? It's not a break, and you just sort of pop it right back in and splint it and let the ligaments strengthen up and everything. That's the best news. You know what they say?

You don't lose until you sell. We're still holding tight on those Danny Dimes MVP odds. We'll see on later. in the season. Big Dogg was right. This hit did come straight on. He's got to see that. He's a righty. And don't protect yourself with your right hand. Also, don't poo-poo, Izzy Gutierrez, just activating an ex-account to cover one team. Pat McAfee Show has a Steelers guy that it's at practice. This is, the template's already been set. Now, I'm not sure how many of those, whatever, six-figure followers are going to, you know, unfollow me immediately when I pick my team.

But there's also like, there's, like, I can't just pick any team. So we have to do sort of a little bit of an elimination game. Do we want to do that like now and talk about which teams are going to be eliminated? Oh, exciting. Establish your criteria. Okay. Because it can't be the dolphins. It cannot be the dolphins. But we are going to randomly draw this team.

So we have to, if we're going to have a pot of teams, we got to eliminate the dolphins because that wouldn't be 100%. Let's give them the Jets. Well, here, I'll eliminate the entire division. No AFC East team because, and here's the issue, if I'm a fan of the dolphins have been my whole life, no matter, it sneaks up on me when they're good, no matter how much I talk about not liking them. I can't be the Dolphins guy, and I can't be the reporter

of the guy the dolphins play twice a year. Can't do it. And Chris is our Dolphins guy. Right. Right. Of course. Nobody that was in the Super Bowl last year, too big of a team. Yeah, you don't want to be in front, right? No chiefs. No other teams from Florida. You sound like me when I picked a Premier League team, and this did

not work well for me. Hey, hey, let my boy cook. Sorry. Because we got a Bucks guy on this show, too. No other team. No Jagg. And Tony's a Jags guy. Okay, there you go. I'm a shield guy, but yeah, Jags are back in Big way. Backup reasons, but also just because it's too close. It's too close to Miami.

I want to sort of spread my wings. Fair enough. Move around. No Browns, no chargers. Already did those. Yeah. Okay. No team that's too newsy slash no Aaron Rogers.

All right. So that eliminates the Cowboys and Steelers. And then the last one, not the worst. You don't want to cover a bad team. I just don't want to cover the worst team because nobody's ever going to call me. I have the team. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, who do you think is going to be bad?

Are you saying... I have a team that I think fits all these criteria. Like, it's a perfect team. Okay, but we're going to do it randomly, though. I'm just eliminating a lot of it. I've got the wheel ready. I want to hear your team, but also I want... This is subjective.

There have been plenty of teams in NFL history that people assume are going to be bad. Saints are one of those teams that everyone assumes is going to be bad. This is the team I would want. If I was doing the bit again of leaving the dolphins, this is who I would choose. I'll see if it's still on the list, which... We're the bad teams according to Izzy. To me, the three. teams, and one of them we already talked about, although he's going to be MVP, they might be

good, the Colts, the Saints, and the Panthers. And I know the Panthers ended last season strong, but I'm not going to be fooled by it. I've watched Young play too many times. He's too little. I'm not following. Good takes, good takes. My man started playing better when he stopped looking so little. I'm not sure what happened there. You can be the Panthers. Like basically doubled in size. They played well and remember, size not satcher. And guys, one important thing that you need to know about the Carolina Panthers. If you're doing predictive analysis, who do they open the season with? I don't know.

They open the regular season with the Jacksonville Jaguars. In their history, they go to the Super Bowl every time they play the Jacksonville Jaguars week one. Wow. It's hard to argue with 100%. That is 100% success rate. A hundred percent of the time. Saints are going to be terrible, though. But it's my team.

It's my season of covering a team. I'm not picking the Panthers. I'm sorry. The Saints, yes. And the Colts, just because of this quarterback uncertainty. They might have an MVP. they might have a terrible cordial. I'm confused why the team I'm about to say wasn't available.

Which criteria, like the Bengals, why can't you pick the Bengals? They're very much. They're in contention. I thought you said three teams. So you've eliminated the Colts, the Saints, the Panthers, the Jets, the Patriots, the Bills, the Steelers, and the Cowboys? I'd rather just tell you the teams that I still have alive. All right. Easier way to do that, yeah.

It leaves half the league. And I also eliminated the Titans because that's Mike's team. Like, it's just the Cam Ward thing. It's too much. And we have a buck, guy. So the Bucks. Yeah. Right, right, right.

So I'm also the Florida teams. That leaves me with, you ready? 16 teams. The Ravens guy is also the Bucks guy? I'm also the Bills guy. The Bills guy. No, Juju's the Bills guy. Oh, that's right.

Well, we got multiple guys, though. He split Jersey, though. He split Jers. Multiple Bills. I mean, that's why they're called the Bills and not the Bill. Bill's Bill's. The Ravens, the Bengals, the Texans, the Raiders, the Broncos, the Giants, the commanders, the Bears,

Packers, Vikings, Vikings, lions, Hawkins, Seahawks, Rams, Cardinals, and 49. This is easier. A lot of good teams there. A lot of good team. It's commanders or Bengals. That's it.

Not the Lions? I can have a favorite. Like, if I were to just choose one, probably be the commanders. Wow. Because they're just, I mean, toward the end of last season, that's a team that I always wanted to tune into. You got the plus of Jaden Daniels? But I wanted it to be random.

I wanted it to be a team that I didn't already maybe have a connection to. And if it does end up being the commanders, great. It's meant to be. Rune for it to be San Francisco. San Francisco is also going to be fun. That one's tough. I don't want to be anything. I have the wheel if you want to spin it.

Do you want to spin it now or do you want to spin it later? Yeah. Well, you did eliminate the bills. Let's spin it a little bit later. We could also put all the teams available in our bucket of death and you pick. Do you want to do it that way? I'm just saying we could do that. You want to go old school?

Or do we want to go computer generated and trust Tony over there? I have the wheel. But do we even have all the visual payoff isn't great. It isn't. All right. Let's get. Let's get the bucket. Let's do it.

Let's do the bucket. Tony's got the list of teams. Just make sure those are the only ones left. I swear if the Big Apple ones in there are money. I think Fentz may have already. Bring the book. Oh, wow. It's not like a...

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Don Lebertard. Sugar daddies. These things, I'm telling you. I love sugar daddy. They get stuck in your teeth. Like, you can't chew them. They're like impossible to chew. They're impossible to chew.

Stugats. Hell yeah, brother. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. Who is the big dude? I mean, we're just trusting that Fuentes put all the right health. He was motivated by the right things. Wizard of Oz helmet. To get camera time.

Appreciate it. Thank you for your service. I think I think I'm a little nervous. Give a good rummage, Izzy. Give a good rummage. I hope not like a city that has four newspapers because that's going to be. Do we want to play a game pool? You pick like two and you pick.

I get to put one back. Do we do like bucket of death rules? You got to be bucket of death rules. All right. All right. That way it's a suspense. Here's the first one. The bagel.

That's a good one. You might be going to a Super Bowl. You got, oh, wait. Here's the cons, though. Let's talk this out. Bad ownership. Al Goldham. That's, I rest my case.

Defense is bad. Joe Burrow's hair. That's a good, no, that's a pro. I get to look at Joe Burrow all here along. How long do I have to make this decision? What kind of clock am I on? This is your segment. Dude, you put that back.

You're getting the Broncos. I hope you know that. Broncos are good team. Bronco's a good team. That might be a wagon. Bronco's a good team. Might be a wagon. Bo Nix.

Turn the corner. I'm putting it back. And you get to get Colorado. Whoa. Oh, no. I'll tell you why. Wow. Oh, my God.

If they're really good, they're not coming to me. They're just going to talk about them all the time. This is not coming to 80 points. No, he's right. I get what he's saying. I don't know anybody else. That's a Bengals guy. Here's the thing.

Dan's going to steam roll is he. He's going to be like, oh, we're going to talk about the Bengals. Joe Burles is incredible. Time's on to talk about the best team in the league, even though it got me right here. Yeah, all right. Give a good moment. Still not following the last one now. Izzy wants to be the expert of the team.

Without due respect, Chris, you were lost at the very beginning. But he could pick the Ravens and the same thing could be said. All right. Here it is. I'm going to give birth to this team right here. Wow. Contractions here. It's not supposed to be in the bucket, man.

That was a cult. That was a classic. Oh, that's too bad. That's too bad. Now I don't trust you at all, Fuentes. Not Prince is going to pick that off the floor. He gave birth to a team. It's not even mine. How is that possible? Serg a team?

All right, we're back. See if Fuentes screwed this up again? Again! Oh, my God. Tony, you're hired. Can we get a gent... He's such a leader beaver. All the integrity of this game. I've given birth to two teams now that are not mine.

Okay, it's the lions. Oh, that's fun. get a good head coach. By the way, before Fuentes screwed this up, I heard he was in the back saying, can you tell these talentless fools to use the bucket? And then he comes in here and screws it up. Can I get fanfare?

Oh, okay. Do you want to hear what the wheel would have chosen? The stinks. Yes, yes, yes. The 49ers. Oh, hey. I think I'm happier with the lions. I can't believe you put back the Bengals.

I know, man, that was tough. I think it's just going to be, I don't know. I think I was probably going to be, like, hypnotized. Everyone's got to be a lion's guy. You think so? They're on a down-year this year. Remember, Ben Johnson's not there anymore. They got a new offensive scheme.

Aaron Glenn's not there anymore. Who is their offensive coordinator? Who replaced Ben Johnson? I'll look it up. I will be the expert on this. Starting. Give him tomorrow. All right, how many lines can you name?

Let's see where you're starting and to see how, like, because we need to chart your progress. Yeah, and we need some like some storylines early on, right? So offensive coordinator, right? Obviously. Defense too. Like, the story of just their return, right? That NFC championship, the NFC championship game loss.

I'm sorry, first round, first round loss before that, division of loss. They did get hurt, but Aiden Hutchinson, I mean, but he's, broke his leg, he's coming back. A depoy candidate, for sure. Easy, not relatively easy injury to return from, right? Didn't he just break his leg? It wasn't like a... He was running like a couple months after. Yeah, he's going to be all right.

Yeah, what else do we have? Is there going to be a decline in Jared Goff's play? It throws a lot of picks. In fact, I took a future on him to throw the most picks this season. I'm just lost today. You want to get a guy like Goff to play that prop because his job security is pretty safe. And he throws a lot of picks.

And it's an unexpected pick because people have kind of settled in on Goffs. All right, he's a good quarterback and that's a good team. So you go counterculture to, why would a good team throw so many interceptions? So I think Jared Goff is a really good pick from the most pick thrown. What do we think of St. Brown in general? realize it. A lot of them. Fun story.

Strong number one? Very strong, physically. His dad, even stronger. Yeah, they got a lot of weapons there, man. This is fun. James and Williams, breakout Canada the year, maybe? You do appear to be a bandwagon jumper, though. Because, but we can always go back to the video.

It was a complete random draw. So you are, you do get a sick uniform set. I love it. I love the blue. Hawaii blue. Honolulu, Honolulu. Honolulu. Thai food.

Thai food. What are your biggest concerns entering the season outside of the coordinators? Because that is the big storyline surrounding the lines. I'm going to guess the offensive line. I feel like Jared Goff needs a good amount of time back there. They've got a good offensive line. Right. Penae Sewell and then, boys.

Didn't they have a retirement? Tony back me up on this one here? Yeah, Frank Ragnow, retired. Yeah. They'll be all right. Tony back me up on that. Well, I'll wait for Izzy to tell me that, but we need to reshape your ex count. Okay.

Lions, Lions, Lions. Honolulu, Blue, at Honolulu, Izzy. Ooh. Your profile should be lions, tigers, and bears. Izzy Honolulu. Dot, dot, dot. Just kidding, just lions. I don't think anyone knows how to spell Honolulu.

It's very fantastic. Is he lions? Is that available? Probably not. Man, I love the Honolulu blue, though. That was probably the best color choice for me. I don't love having to dissect that coaches. Well, color scheme shouldn't really matter.

You're not going to get merch, right? You're not fan. You should get a couple shirts. You've got to uphold journalism here. You're right. Maybe a polo. If you look at my ex-account, it's going to be, you know, dressed in the color of the team that I'm covering. Yeah, yeah, understood, but you can't buy merch or anything like that.

You're not a fan. You have to, like, be impartial. We can probably get you a press credential. Do they play anywhere near here? I'll check the schedule. Well, you're the expert. No, I will be the expert. I am just a newbie right now.

I'm just getting into this. Well, this is establishing the floor. Okay. Which you've done a very good job of. It's only up from here. You know what? The only thing I maybe could have eliminated the line. because Jamel Hill might be the lines person she's a 49ers her husband's a lion's guy

yeah so we're good yeah all right and also a maintenance guy apparently according to dan lebiton fumigator yeah fumigator is he i think your best options are going to be uh at washington in early november oh i thought that was like your handle i'm like that's the terrible no no no that's got to be taken i'm trying to figure out how to get you to somewhere that's not I think I want to avoid D.C., particularly at night. You've got Philly. You've got Philly in mid-November. I'm pretty sure.

Federal government's taking over it. You're all right. I'm pretty sure the dolphins are heading there, straight there, after Chicago. The dolphins have like a two-week road trip. So you could head there next week and do a whole, like, pre-season. Dolphins are playing at Lions August 16th. And they're practicing there. Yeah, full week of practice.

Full week of practice against the Lions after their Chicago. The Dolphins are just touring. We're going to send you up there. I just decided. All right. That's a good way to get the back. background information in, right? Because I have to establish myself. So if I show up to a game, say, in like late November, early December, then everybody in the press box is going to be like,

oh, okay. Best game is October 12th at Kansas City at Sunday, man, for that. Too early in the season that involves the Chiefs, which is, you know. I love going out to practice. They give you the training camp roster, and you're just like looking out at the practice. Monday night football the following week, home against Tampa Bay. Jeremy, give me a late season game for the Lions that doesn't currently seem like a banger, but that other team is going to be surprisingly good, and right now it's going to surprise people and be a really good game. Wow, October 5th, Lions at Bengals.

That's too early. What a story line, no. No, the storylines there. That's true. And you have Lions at Ravens two weeks prior to that. Their early season schedule is sexier in terms of the matchups. I would say December 14th at Los Angeles Rams. Oh, I love that.

Which is perfect. You can go to L.A. It's a 425 game on Fox. And there can be fireworks in that game offensively. I think that's the game. We've got to lock that one in. December 14th. So you're not going to cover them until week 15.

No, no. He's building up. He's building up. According to Chris, Metal Arc is already committed to sending me to Dolphins Lions in Detroit, pre-season. Next week, by the way. How do you feel about working on holidays? Ooh, what holiday?

Thanksgiving, famously. I'm good. All right. By the way, your beat starts tonight. You've got to be all over preseason week one for the Lions. Who's starting? Yeah. What can you tell me about the Atlanta Falcons?

Hmm. Michael Pennix. And then boys. And then boys. Is he a junior? Penick's Jr.? Is he a junior? I thought he was a dash.

Like a couple dashes. Oh, no dash. No dash. Just junior. The other day, someone said, Carl Anthony Towns, he swings a baseball while. I'm like, he's a Dominican. He's a Dominican athlete.

Good baseball player. Except. I'm terrible at baseball. Oh. I've played softball one time. I've told this story on the show before, but I played softball one time in my life. I was, I want to say 19, 20 years old in college,

and they put me in left field because I looked athletic. Yeah, you do. And I, there was a fly ball and put the glove up. No, it just hit me in the chest. It just went straight beneath the glove. So the hand died. What was a noise that came out when the softball hit you? Probably like, oh.

And then. I blew out my quad trying to beat out a single and it was gone for the rest of the game I like that In the meantime Don Lebertard Kiss me where you bruise me

Taste me on that flashy part Really Yeah Really Taste me on that flashy part Taste me not touch me Taste me on that flashy part Wow

Bruce Stugats I'm talking about the clitoris I'm talking about the clitoris Yes, I am. Now we're out here riffing, and I'm going to try to find it if I can. One wonderful rendition. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats.

So you got Atlanta Falcons NFL preseason week one. Now, your team has already played. So how much did you watch at the Hall of Fame game? Zero. Zero percent of the Hall of Fame game. I wasn't established on this, as we've mentioned, until Joe Rose let me know just how sad this dolphin season is going to be like if Tyree Kill gets traded midseason, I think I'm taking like a five-year break from the dolphins. Wow. When I used to do Zaslo show weekly when he was on with Joy Taylor locally, like that was the peak of when the dolphins had just sucked all the fandom for me.

I was legitimately not a fan. And then, you know, Tyree Kill and two and all this stuff happened and they got me back. But if this year is just, if they don't finish second in the AFC East this year, five years vacation. How quickly can we onboard you as a lion's aficionado? Because I would like to do a standard old school radio hit as we preview the NFL, you know, 32 teams, 32 days type of... Let's take a look and love those. The preseason schedule here, because it's either going to be as early as this coming Monday or it's going to have to be the following week. It depends on what we're looking at this week.

We'll play it totally straight. The audience will assume that we've just been covering all the... the NFL teams will present it as such, and Izzy, you're going to be our alliance guy. Perfect. To give Izzy a second, is it worse if Tyreek Hill gets traded off the team or he's just not good and stays on the team? What's worse? I think dissecting why he's not good and breaking down whether they need to, you know, get rid of Mike McDaniel because he's got all these weapons and can't do anything with it or maybe Tua. If you say, hey, why can't he get Tyreek the ball?

I think that's a lot more fun than if he's gone and you're just like, I mean, you're just like, I mean, I mean, the next logical step in conversation there is Jalen Waddle a number one, which I think we can still have that conversation, but is it fun? Did we ever get around to what Jalen Waddle was last year? Was he hurt? I mean... It was always hurt. Yeah.

But I thought Jalen Waddle was good. And last year, a conversation around in the water cooler over here was, is Jalen Watt? He's polarizing. Like, around here, there are people that think he's good, people that think he's not. I'm trying to think who did we... What was the debate, Tony, that we were doing the Waddle versus who last year? Was it McLaren? DJ Moore.

Oh, no, it was DJ Moore versus Waddle. That was the big debate in the office. And after last year, DJ Moore is clearly the better receiver, right? Well, when he was coming out of Alabama, I just remember the quote that's, I forget who it was, but they said, of all those Alabama receivers, right? That's a group of, what's three or four guys that were great. He's one of them. He was called the athletic one. And I was like, wow, that's crazy.

Of all those receivers, he's the most athletic. They also canceled Henry Ruggs. I was going to say, I don't see it, though. Yeah, he would have been like the speecher anyway. He would have been more like the Tyreek Hill of the group. but I don't really see it. Like, I don't see the crazy athletic stuff. Like I see, was it Dante Smith?

Like, he looks like a deer out there. He's very super light on his feet. He's got very specific, like, Devonte Smith. Excuse me. When I see him running. He's not an eagle's guy. He's not an Eagles guy.

He's like when Joe Rose said Keon Smith this morning. He's been here for a long time. We've got to find out if he can play football. I'm like, I don't even know. I'm just learning about this. Find out. Find out for me, Joe Rose. Cam Smith, I believe he meant.

If you do that. Is that what he meant? The third year corner. All right. Tony and I, same pace. Is there a Keyon Smith? I know there's a Cam Smith. You're the dolphin guy.

Third year corner who hasn't played. I don't know who Keon Smith is. Well, now I'm confused. We're trying to find out who everybody is. He did have a corporate event on the site. You know, they should do this in the NFL, like, do the silhouette of the receivers. And just like take the team away, just do the silhouette of them running routes. See if you can tell who's who.

Wouldn't be able to tell Jalen Waddle from any looks absolutely average in terms of the way he moves. Tyreek Hill, I'd be able to tell. Dolphins have an offensive tackle named Keon Smith. All right. We had to figure out how he's doing. He's not, can he play ball. He's low on the depth chart. Devontes, that's the wood.

But yeah, I just, I'm not, I want him to be great. Like, I love Jalen Wada. He's a big Panthers fan. I love the dude. I want him to be great. So in a sense, maybe if they do get rid of Tyree Kill, we get to see that once and for all, but it's not going to mean the team's going to be any good. Career lows across the board for J. Luana last year.

After 3,000 yards seasons, he had 58 catches for 744 yards and two touchdowns in 15 games. Yeah, I'm worried about your dolphins. Vives also seem to be. little weird around the head coach. It doesn't help that we were told, like, I heard Kevin Clark on part of my take the other day, and he's like, every former player that I work with at ESPN hates Mike McDaniel. Just as a head coach, like, they hate Mike McDaniel. Even Tua, as like a leader, it's a little bit divisive.

Like, I could see people that just go sort of blind and say, yeah, yeah, I'll follow this guy. Like, he seems to rah-rah. And there's probably other people that are just like, I don't know, it's just kind of empty. Like, what is this? It's just like rah-rah for no reason. There's nothing to it. And you could probably see the same thing with Mike McDaniel, right? Like, there's probably people that are just like, okay, I get this guy.

I like the vibes. And there's other people that are just like, no, I need something a little bit more, I mean, for lack of a better term, militant. Somebody who can just force me to do these things instead of somebody that I vibe. So Tua's got a little bit of Russell Wilson in them then, right? That would be a huge story. I mean, I could see that in terms of like. In what way? Hold on, in what way?

What do you mean? Please go into detail. I'm with Jeremy, though. It's just a vibe. There's just something about Tua when he's at a press conference. Is he, I just don't know. I know exactly what Jeremy means. The question is, is it genuine, right?

Like, is he just said, rah-rah just for the sake of being rah-rah. Are you talking about... Toa tag ovalia. You see those new numbers? Impressive. To a tag ovalia. It felt like, well, remember, he was very reserved. Brian Flores.

Who? To a tag ovalia. Brian Flores made work work. Hell for our boy. That's your cue. To a tag ovalia. Look, I'm not going to lie, if you just look at it. I've never given this man credit before, but that kind of, like, the way it should be pronounced.

To a tag ovalia. There's no N. But everybody says N. But there's no N. That's a dialect. Of course. An entire family. Tag Ovalia.

An Invisible Inn. An entire family just decided, we're leaving Hawaii and we're going to go to Tuscaloosa. Before NIL. Oh, nuts. How did they do that? Long trip. A great place to raise a family. You know, growing up and following the recruiting beat, it was always hilarious to me to see how many local South Florida recruits would have dads that would just get jobs as car dealers in Tuscaloosa.

It boggles the mind. Let's put that guy in charge of everything, too. And maybe pay him to be a lobbyist. Who no? Alabama Jones. It's still a bar of a joke. All right, so we're worried about the dolphins, we're worried about the corners, we've got to find out if Keon Smith can play ball. That's, on the big dog agenda, that's pretty high up there.

A positive thing that I am hearing, I'm hearing Patrick Paul could be, quote, a pro bowler. Oh, shit. And I've already, I don't know who that is, but I've already heard. That's their left tackle replacing. They drafted him last year. He sat all year, watched Armstead, and now he's going to be starting left tackle. That directly affects our Keon Smith narrative. So I just saw Keon Smith is the backup right tackle behind Austin Jackson.

Well, he'll get some playing. The dolphins are fine. If Patrick Paul is fine, I think the dolphins are fine at tackle and center. They have a left guard rookie, and they have James Daniels at right guard. So the guards make me nervous. All right, but we also have, we have a quarterback situation because you always have Tua Tag Ovalia. And the questions around his health, you brought in Zach Wilson. There's no way. Toa tag Ovalia. plays this preseason, right? No shot.

Oh, I hope not. I think last year they gave him a series. I could see them giving him a series. Don't give him a series. Don't give them a series. Don't do that. A lot of teams are bringing the starters out for the first game. Give him a series, hand the ball off a few times.

We didn't see it at all in previous seasons. I know Joe Burrow, Kyler Murray. There are a handful playing this preseason. But we're going to see a lot of Zach Wilson. And Quinn yours. Quinn yours. Everybody's talking about Quinn yours. Making the throws.

I've seen a package put together of some plays where, you know what gets to be excited about him is outside of the pocket. Wait, wait, wait. So you're bypassing Zach Wilson altogether. I'm just, I have not seen them put together a montage of practice plays where he looks the way Quinn Ewers says. Because in terms of being out of the pocket and flipping your hips, I mean, that's what got him drafted so high. Like, he can do that. I'm just saying he, the montage I saw look nice. Of Quinn Ewers. Yes. Like, I don't know what, I don't know if it's a Texas thing.

I don't know if it's a, is he taller? I don't know if it's a big white quarterback thing, but I don't remember him being average size. He's average size. Okay. I think it must be a Texas thing. Six for two, which means he's about six one. He's six one. About six one. Which still makes him, what, two full inches taller than Tua? What are the odds that Quinn Ewer's Brock Purdy's Tua, the way that, like,

Brock Purdy overtook Jimmy Garoppolo, where everybody thought that his job was safe, and then he missed a little bit of time, and then Brock Purdy just stepped up into an offense that was kind of perfect for him and unlocked some skills. And then Quinn Uers fight off. Manning, who was potentially the number one pick in a year. And he was a highly touted recruit who, you know, wasn't probably quite as successful as people thought he would be in college, but was a really good college quarterback and then shows up here in the NFL. I mean, look, it's probably unlikely, but it's not impossible. There were two guys, two passers in the NCAA last year that I think people were generally unfair.

And there's a weird narrative around them when you see their numbers, especially, I know Quinn Ewers went out and Arch, that's a hell of a situation, but also following Stets and Bennett at Georgia is a hell of a situation. And then Carson Beck and Quinn Ewers were really undervalued last year because of just the narrative. The guy breathing down in the neck and in Georgia, the guy that he was following. But Quinn Ewers, is there a quarterback battle between he and Zach Wilson's firmly entrenched? I think they paid him 10 million bucks. Six million, I believe. Six million, okay.

It's too much money to pay Zach Wilson to do anything. Tag Ovalia.