The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: I'm The New Daddy

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

Zaslow hates to look silly, Chris calls out his dad's handyman skills, and everyone knows the Le Batards can't fix anything. Today's cast: Dan, Zaslow, Chris, Billy, Jeremy, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Comcast business helps turn the PGA Tour into a game-changing golf experience. It's how courses become automated turf tending, never look so amazing tournament backdrops, how 18 holes becomes up to the millimeter ball spotting technological marvels, and how the fan experience gets turned into mobile device paying unforgettable moments. With leading networking and connectivity, advanced fiber solutions, and expert partnership, Comcast business is powering the connectivity of the PGA Tour. Powering possibilities. In terms of sports allegiances around here, I don't know how many days we've ever had when Billy gets to walk in on an eight game winning streak with his Marlins.

Hell yeah, hottest team in town. And Zaslow is officially bummed about the Heat. Official. It's official. Zazz, one of the super homers that we have in town. Mike Ryan's a homer. Perriquette Cortez is a homer. Greg Cody is a homer. But when it comes to the Miami Heat, two time champion broadcaster, Zazz, uh, is, uh, really firm in his convictions and allegiances. But right now he is super bummed. Doesn't mean I don't have my allegiance,

doesn't mean my allegiance is not strong as ever, but I'm bummed, man. I feel like it made me look stupid. Why and how did they make you look stupid? And let's also go on the record here. I don't like looking stupid. They make me look stupid because I've sat here and defended them. It's that I'm trusting that they're going to do

something and I'm just sitting here like watching them do nothing. Everyone else is doing stuff. Some teams are doing stupid stuff but it's Eastern Conference. It feels wide open. It's like every roster spot is filled. They literally have every roster spot filled. They've added one player, Fantequio. Yeah, that part was funny. You couldn't have found a funnier name to trade for than to have Duncan Robinson leave town. When I first met Fantequio, I laughed at his name.

Like the first time I saw Fantequio, I'm like, that can't be good at sports because it's named Fontechia and I now have in front of me for an era of heat basketball and this part hurts This is the total of what you got for all of these players who made it to the finals and had an exciting run Okay, so you got nothing for Jake Crowder You didn't get anything for Caleb Martin. You didn't get anything for PJ Tucker.

You didn't get anything for Gabe Vincent. You got a second for Struz. You got nothing for Duncan Robinson except some cap relief. And Fontechio. You did get Fontechio. Dragic with Precious. You got Lowry and then you sent Lowry with a first round pick to get Rozier.

So for, and Jimmy for Wiggins and a first. So for the entire two finals runs era of Heat Basketball, what you get back is Wiggins, Rozier, a one and a two. How does it make you feel when I say you traded Drogich,recious Atua, and a first round pick for Roshir? Ugh! That's really the only one that actually stands out there as like poor management, but the rest of it is understandable. If you look at every other team that makes runs to the finals, it's not like they then preemptively trade their roster you got play out of those players so when you say you got nothing that's not true you went to two finals with them and when they were free agents they got better offers elsewhere because you

learned your lesson from the previous time that you did this in overpaid guys like Tyler Johnson. That feels like some spin cycle when your roster is now BAM, Hero, Davion Mitchell, Ware, Jovich, Larsen, Fontechio, Love, Kyle Anderson, Hockaz, Wiggins, Rosier, Highsmith, Johnson. Yeah, and everybody was salivating over the Hawks yesterday like the guys that they added are these giant difference makers.

Would you like Porzingis on this team? Dude, of course. Would you like? But that's not the guys that they added or these giant difference makers Would you like to put Zingus on this team? Dude, of course. Would you like? But that's not the position that they were in. Would you like to do it with a dude? To add guys just to add them doesn't make a ton of sense, but I get- Would you like Luke Kennard? I want to be better in the Eastern Conference.

Like I don't know exactly what the plan is, but I just know- Would you like Nikhil Alexander Walker? I don't want to overpay a guy Overpaid whatever it is what it is if Dan had said that exact same thing and the team was the New York nicks You would all be ripping the nicks and laughing at them like they were a laughing stock But instead now we're gonna be like well Pat Riley has a plan And now we're gonna be on a pat Riley apology for three hours started with these bum He didn't start with I hope he started with I hope he has a plan, but it didn't seem like it was confident that there's a plan.

I'm bummed, dog. This is the Don LeBattor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. ["The Show on the Block"] As Zazz just mentioned during the Shadow Show, he is someone who under all circumstances refuses to look ridiculous and he does not like that the Miami Heat have made him look ridiculous. I hate looking ridiculous.

I have not looked up the stats, but now Duncan Robinson has gone to Detroit. Detroit is on the ascent. Detroit is a very good young team. They can use when they've got a gambling, an alleged gambling problem on their roster. They can use the shooting of Duncan Robinson. And I'm doing the eye test here. I've not looked at the numbers. Mike Ryan disputed this when I said it yesterday. Duncan Robinson is the best shooter in Heat history. Do I have that wrong? You don't have that wrong. Well, what are going by? You going statistically or you going by? I'm legitimately going by when

he shoots I think it's going in more than any other player who's ever shot a basketball for the Miami Heat. I haven't looked at any other numbers it's simply based on when that person's shooting do I believe it's going in more than at other times people have been wearing that uniform. By that metric Udonis Haslam greatest shooter of all time in Heat history, because that little short corner Jay was always going in no matter what.

Obviously you start, I'll put Duncan second, but obviously Ray Allen is the top shooter. Just game six, that shot, number one, all time. I don't care what anyone says, I don't care what numbers you say. That's a moment though. But it's just, that's the shot. You think of Miami Heat shooters, Ray Allen. That's the OK.

So you also think then that LeBron is the greatest player in Miami Heat history. Not doing that elbow jumper. Don't you mean you could talk me into that elbow jumper putting LeBron on the Mount Rushmore? Because that's the same argument. LeBron's the best player in history, not doing weight. If Ray Allen's best shooter in history, not talking. I see what you're doing there.

I'm not going to play that game with you. Where's James Posey on the list? Because I felt confident when James Posey had the ball. But Tippy Toe's the lead. It was probably the socks, but I felt good about James Posey. Do you mean Mike Miller? No.

Because you say socks, like Mike Miller is the shoeless one. No, he had the tall socks. James Posey had the super tall socks. I thought you said socks like he shot with socks. Come on, man, are you gonna be 10 or not? Do you feel like people confuse James Posey and Mike Miller often?

Yeah. I don't think we're gonna get any other nominations from the entirety of anyone who has ever watched basketball that has James Posey as the best shooter in heat history. No, no. You stumbled onto another wild Billy Wednesday. You guys don't know how to play this game. It's about to get wild.

Stats be damned, when James Posey had the ball and I know I'm alone on this island. That's what people say when they're wrong by the way, stats be damned. Well that's, no they also say what Chris says, I don't care what the numbers say, I don't care what anyone says, I'm right about that. Well you started with I didn't look at any of the numbers

but what's the difference there? I admitted all of it. Okay so we're on the same page I just don't do it every single time with every argument usually my arguments have a little more information than that Can we put on the pole best shooter best heat shooter of all time? Duncan Robinson Ray Allen you guys are not put Antoine Walker on there, too I felt good about that the island I'm on but I love Antoine. What about the man with the golden arm? I? cannot believe the Jason Capone. Oh erasure

That is a terrible nickname by the way the man with the golden Eric Reid tried to get that off the ground to worry As a nickname ever work that has that many words The man with the golden arm is a six-word Also, do you feel like you shoot with your arm like no you shoot your hand your wrist The man with the golden arm is a six-word. Also, do you feel like you shoot with your arm? Like, you shoot with your hand, your wrist. It was a truly terrible nickname. What did Capone, get me the numbers officially.

Just what are the numbers officially on three-point shooting for Ray Allen, Duncan Robinson, and James Posey. Well, I have the three point field goal percentage leaders in team history for Miami. Now, this isn't about volume. Jason Capono is at the top. He shot 49% from three as a member of the Miami Heat, which is insane.

But if you wanna look at Ray Allen and Duncan Robinson and compare them, their percentages are essentially identical. So Ray Allen in two years shot 39.8% from three for Miami. Over seven years, it was 39.7% for Duncan Robinson, but he did it on seven three point attempts per game while Ray Allen did that on like four per game. So certainly the volume is different, but their minutes were the same. It's 26 minutes per game for Duncan, 26 minutes per game for Ray Allen.

So they essentially played the same role on these two different teams. Did you just say that Jason Capone shot 49% from three one years? Has anyone? Not one year, as a member of the Miami Heat for however long that was. Boy, he played two years, I think it was, two or three.

Yeah, well, the reason he didn't play more shooting that well is because he couldn't guard anybody. If you think Tyler Hero couldn't guard anybody, Capone had feet made of cement that he lifted off the ground to shoot that three. But I can't imagine that anyone has ever shot a higher percentage than that playing for a basketball team from three.

He did it on two attempts per game. Yeah, it was one for two. That's amazing. One for two. But still. Stats be damned though, we're having that conversation. He won the three point. No, we need all the stats. He'd be taking 15 threes a game in the modern NBA. He won the three point competition.

So it's not just that he was taking two three pointers a game, but do we have a lot of players ever who have shot better than 50% from three because I off the top of my head I cannot remember seeing a stat line that has somebody did Kyle Korver shoot over I think Tim Legler led the league one time shooting over 50% believe it or not in the 2006 and 7 season so he joined for the championship team year one he only took actually one three-pointer game, shot 39.6%. But in the 2006 and 7 season on three attempts per game,

he shot 51.4% from three. He was a starter on that team. So Zaslow knows his basketball. And if you were listening last night to ESPN overnight game night with Zaslow and Norris Cole. Yeah, a couple champs. Wow. Zas's power went down and I felt for the poor producer who had to go the rest of the way with Norris Cole when Zas's power went out in his house. Oh man, so you gotta understand like like I'm paired with Norris Cole, okay, which was fun, I'd never worked with him before, but

He's not a radio host, he's essentially like an analyst, you know? And the show's going great, okay? Literally 90 seconds, it's almost 1 in the morning, 90 seconds left in the show My power goes out in the house, it started to storm. Power goes out in the house. And I'm like, oh my god. And so I'm obviously kicked off the show. And for the final 90 seconds, our producer Josiah did an excellent job.

He had to drive the show. 90 seconds, I mean, that's nothing. I thought you were talking about 90 minutes at 1 a.m. Also. But then I started thinking, well, you know, I don't know if you understand how time zones work. I don't. But that's 10 p.m. In the West Coast. All right That's way goes three hours behind 90 seconds on the West Coast though, right?

Like but I was just thinking oh my god, what if I've been 90 minutes left? Oh, I'd have a bad How's the family van doing? For Norris Cole that was right right right? I didn't ask parked underneath in the arena. Really? I think so they kept that. Oh, yeah, but why I have. It's still parked underneath in the arena. Really? I think so. They kept that? Oh, yeah for a while. They kept his family van. It's just parked in the arena. Yeah, yeah, yeah Why how did they get around? I don't know if it was still functional. Billy always great at asking the questions. No one can answer Sorry, I'm trying to find a longer nickname than the one we said before Charles Barkley round mound to rebound. This is hard That's quick though. That's round mound That's a good one though

And it rhymes right if it was the man with the golden arm and somehow there was a farm in there somewhere farm and arm if you got a rhyme somewhere, but It hurts to have what is though? Is though is there a longer nickname that has worked than the mound round of re the mound rap the round mound of rebound? All right. Yeah, sorry. I just wanna make sure. I appreciate the help with that. What are the details, Billy, since you wanna know

so much about the Norris Cole van? I don't know anything about the Norris Cole van. It was a giant thing during the Heat's championship run. The Norris Cole family van was a thing that was outside of the arena. They allowed fans to come by and sign it. That was the story about how it was that he would get to like all the games and stuff

growing up, so they brought the family van there, the fans signed. It was a big rallying thing around this Heat team. I'm surprised you guys don't know about this family van. It's big Heat Nation over here. Don't know about James Posey and his socks, don't know about the family van. We do know about James Posey and his socks.

We don't know that James Posey is the shooter that Ray Allen and Duncan Robinson is. We got Jeremy heightened enough that he started a sentence with dude, which is the first sign in a debate that someone is unraveling. Is that like a sign of aggression from him? Yeah, I mean, it's that's basically him pulling a knife. It's like mother effer. It's the it's when when Jeremy hits you with a dude to start a sentence, it's like someone else shivving you in prison. The question was, do you want poor Zingus?

That's what he answered, dude. Well, he's right to be upset by the fact that I tried three different times to point out, hey, Lillard waved is something I wasn't expecting to see together. And everyone wanted to talk about something else, including the championship portions of the Atlanta Hawks in what you guys keep calling a wide open East as if the Cavs don't exist. The Cavs are frauds and we know that. Okay but the Hawks aren't?

The Hawks could be interesting. Could be interesting is the way we all like to analyze everything. Oh, there's something new Wow Maybe that'll be good and it's never good This this is one of the things that is corrupted and contaminated all offseason talk is that the Hawks will always win the press conference in the offseason and What and the fan base wants simply change. The fan base in Miami doesn't want to keep going with a roster that they know is not good enough,

and the roster looks and feels stale. I will not believe that this is what will head into the playoffs next year. Playoffs, it better not head into the regular season. Me hands up playoffs. Do you want anybody in the stands? Like I think they're at kind of a tipping point now when it comes to the fan base,

where there's gonna be a reaction, a tangible reaction in the stands this year, if the team looks like this again. I mean, you think the buildings will be packed on Wednesday night against Charlotte, if they keep this roster? That's why we were saying that they should get Kevin Duran because he would be a draw even if he's on a bad team

and then you have him down the road or he's part of the Heat family, he's part of the Heat culture, he's part of the history of this team knowing that they probably weren't going to build a championship contender but at least you bring in this memorable person in NBA history to be part of your team for a season.

We're all gonna look really silly if he makes a move for you. Not Zazz, Zazz will not look silly. There's no circumstance under which Zazz can. I hate looking silly. Zazz will not look silly. I hate looking silly, and that's the part that bothers me most

about what's going on with the Heat here, because I've had the confidence, or I have the confidence. I'm very confident. Everybody knows that about me. And I don't want them or I have the confidence. I'm very confident. Everybody knows that about me. And I don't want them to make me look stupid. Right now, I feel like I look stupid and I'd like them to do something.

Jeremy, you know something about me, right? You know when I'm grilling outside and it's summertime, you know how I supplement my summertime? Of course I do. I make it Miller time. Of course, that beautiful white can. Oh, when it's so hot outside, I just put it right to my forehead right there And just roll it sometimes right on the forehead cool my body down

And then I crack it open in some relief and then that first sip brother does that first sip? That is a top five Sequence of events that you can possibly go through. I'm just serenity now when I just imagined that first sip of Miller life Just thinking about it's making me happy. Dude, the sun is out, it's nice, you have your friends showing up, you got your family there, you just had your first sip of Miller Lite, and you know what? You're happy. You're blissful. You're fulfilled.

I've been stocking my cooler with Miller Lite for years, and for good reason. It's brewed for taste. Only 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs. This year Miller Lite turns 50. That is 5 decades of cookouts, laughs, and ice cold moments that never miss. It's the original Lite beer and it's still my go-to. Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

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see dkng.co.slash audio. Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan. NASCAR is back in Chicago and it's not just out of track. No, no, no, they're racing through the actual streets of downtown. I've been there for this race. It is a great race. Beautiful skyscrapers, Lakefront Grand Park, July 5th and 6th. Feels like America. It's a NASCAR Cup series in the Xfinity series, which was a great race last year, tearing it up in the Windy City. We're talking 40 drivers, Chase Elliott, Denny Hamlin, my favorite Kyle Larson flying through the street course like you've never seen it before.

It's part race, part music festival, all adrenaline. Chicago turns into one massive summer block party with horsepower. Want in? Head to NASCARChicago.com right now and grab those tickets. Watch the Xfinity Series July 5th at 4.30pm Eastern on the CW, then the Cubs Series July 6th at 2pm eastern on TNT Sports and streaming on Max. This isn't just a race, it's a whole vibe.

Don Lebatard. Go ahead Billy, ask him your question. Is gymnastics possibly corrupt? Oh wow. Stugats. I got some phlegm in my mouth, yeah. It's okay. Yeah.

Is gymnastics possibly corrupt? This is the Don LeBathardt Show with the Stugats. Chris Cody, I felt that we as a show looked stupid for a number of different reasons yesterday, but one of them was you were out, your father said out loud, and I don't know what to believe anymore with your family because you guys hid from me for three decades that Uncle Mike exists and has one eye. Greg Cody claimed on the show yesterday that he's a handyman, and I'm like,

if Chris were here, there's no way he'd get away with that. I know Greg Cody, and unless he's decided to do something in the last 10 years I've never known him to do, which is simply learn, because he doesn't like to learn. Greg Cody's allergic to learning, doesn't want any part of it. So him being a handyman or identifying as a handyman, I thought was a bold-faced lie,

but I didn't have anyone here who could have questioned it. Yeah, it's crazy that the bit with him, like with me and my brother, our whole life is, he thinks he's everything. He thinks he's handy. He thinks he's salt life. He thinks he's a country soul. He thinks he's a reggae guy.

Like he thinks he's everything. So it's just, yes, this is not surprising. Did he claim something about his mailbox? No. That he said, I think he tried to put up a mailbox recently. So I'm trying to, what did he say he did that was handy? He said he was gonna have a competition with Billy in which they tried to make some sort of furniture.

I think we settled on a table, but we'd have to get the lumber. I would take Billy. Thank you. I could see Billy. The thing about being a handyman, like if you're Greg, is you really just have to believe in your abilities to do it Not really not true in any way. It is true

That's how you end up with a handyman with one hand. That's a stupid thing to say That's not a stupid thing to say, you know who stops you from doing things the most you if you say that I can't build this table. Guess what? You're never gonna build that table. You say I can you can build one I mean it may you know wobble from side to side, but you'll figure it out eventually. There's a bunch of I can't guys in here today. The power of positive thinking. Yeah, when Michael Jordan gives the graduation speech and says you can all be me, he's lying.

Is it the power of belief? No, there's fast twitch muscle fiber. No one should believe in them. That's required. The high ayatollah of slamola for Larry Nance senior That's bullshit. I never heard that Wait a minute. Not a nickname you can have today, right? Well, I'm not a nickname you should add then either It's offensive that Jeremy said it. Different time though

the ayatollah of slamola I think we're fine. No, I The Houdini of the hardwood Bob Cousy. I like that one. It's rolls right off the tongue forwards the man with the golden arm the owl without a vowel bill milk V M L K V Y I like that one though. Was there question mark in his last name there is for me I think Greg said his dad was a carpenter in his last name. There is for me.

I think Greg said his dad was a carpenter. He was. While Bill, see that's why I think my dad thinks he's handy. Yeah, cause his dad was. His dad was a carpenter. That's like a gene that gets passed out. I'm trying to think what my dad has built. He wanted to build, the story was he wanted to build

a table around a tree and then Uncle Richard, I think it was, he said was a know it all. And Uncle Richard came over and was constantly giving him tips on how it is that he should build set table. And he was annoyed because Uncle Richard was telling him, you need to use this corn or this or that, whatever. And then at the end, he ended up telling us, well, when you build something, you need to use this.

And we realized Uncle Richard actually taught Greg a lesson that day that he still carries with him today. Uncle Richard and my dad had a funny, tenchus relationship. I actually have a funny story. After Uncle Richard died. What was that word? Tenchus?

That's yeah. That's not a word. To play on. You know what I meant. What do you mean it's a play on? There's a lot of tension in their relationship. Yeah, tenchus. Tenchus.

I didn't know what you meant. Contentious? Contentious, there it is. See, everyone knew what I meant. You can't say that first part. I didn't know. So this is actually a good story, Stay focused here. When Uncle Richard died, they were having the post-funeral thing

at Aunt Bonnie's house. And my dad, who I had a nice, a weird relationship, a tenacious relationship with Uncle Richard. And one of their songs was the Beach Boys, one of the Happy Beach Boys songs. So my dad- Are there sad Beach Boys songs?

I don't know. I'm gonna pull at Levittart Show. Do you think of anything sad when you think of the Beach Boys? So my dad, thinking of Uncle Richard, was playing a song that they connected of. It was a Beach Boys song. But visually, the optics, so after the funeral,

my dad's driving to Aunt Bonnie's house for like the post funeral thing. And Aunt Bonnie's brother is out front. And my dad rolls driving to Aunt Bonnie's house for the post-funeral thing, and Aunt Bonnie's brother is out front, and my dad rolls up to the post-funeral party blasting a Beach Boys song. So the visual of my dad happy song. Windows down? Like windows down, jamming to Beach Boys.

So he went up to my dad and was like, this is a sad time. Why are you rolling up? And my dad had to be like, no, no, no, we connected over the Beach Boys. So this was actually me paying tribute, but just not a good look. He should have just said, why can't I have an enjoyable car ride still?

Put it on, can you show, like, are you allowed to jam out after a funeral? Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Can you roll away from the funeral with the music too loud in your, the happy music too loud in your car? Jeremy, you made a face on our lack of Beach Boys knowledge. Is there something horrible in the past of Brian Wilson

or one of the Beach Boys that- Yeah, Brian Wilson was like extremely depressed. Pet Sounds is one of the most beautifully tragic albums ever written, maybe the best album ever written, including the song I Just Wasn't Made for These Times, which not only is this self-reflective, sad mental health song, but it's actually Kevin Love's favorite Beach Boys song.

I'm pretty sure you rolled up to sitting on top of the world. Like, it was like. Yeah, I think of the Beach Boys, though, as all surfing USA type of happy songs and just bounce around, but you're right there There is a real sadness. So we need we need a different question I do think of Beach Boys music as being happy though put her on the pole at LeBowtard show

Do you think of Beach Boys music is being happy? I like the idea of Greg pulling up to the funeral with Surfing USA Blasting out his car. Oh, he's just wildly inappropriate and then will defend his action no matter what and will take several days before he concedes. The thing about it is, if he's telling the truth, it's a play, he's good. But, you know, Uncle Richard not around anymore. There's no one really to verify that they connected over Beach Boys.

So my dad may have just been jamming out and then needed a cover. He's not a handyman though and he does have Dunning-Kruger the same way that Stugatz does, where he just illusionally thinks he's good at every single thing, even though he's 70 years old. But you guys are reminding me of the greatest thing

that my father taught me around handyman stuff, which is have friends who can fix things. Because that's all I saw in my childhood. My brother used to tell the story of the scarring of being a boy scout, and my father helped him with the car, and as soon as the race started, the wheels fell off and the thing just hit the ground like as a block of wood. Because, and he had to quit,

he had to leave the boy scouts in disgrace. He had to leave the scouts? Yeah, well, because you can imagine, right? You're sitting there, you're 36 years old, you let go of the car and then the wheels fall off. How embarrassing. Tentious. How you feeling about that?

He's gonna sit with me for a while. Tentious, why? Tentious, why? I was looking at you guys like, what are you guys talking about? This is clearly a word, contentious. I like the idea of leaving on a Boy Scouts uniform. Yeah. It didn't really fit right? My brother ended up doing all the sports things with us even though he was fast as the running back

He'd just keep moving his head around because the way the wind whistled through his ear hole So we'd snap the ball and my brother just be standing there in the back So we'd snap the ball and my brother just be standing there in the back His ear my ear hole make whistling noises and has the play that's designed for him goes in the other direction He'd also stop for like a four-leaf clover if he was in the open field Do you think he takes off the patches from the Scout outfit when he leaves and disgraced you have to leave it behind? They rip it off you as you walk out the door when he leaves in disgrace, you have to leave him behind. They rip it off you as you walk out the door. Shhh, I feel like just the car falling apart

was disgrace enough. You walk out of the Scouts never to return, just ashamed of your father. Embarrassed, embarrassed because your father isn't good at fixing things. My father didn't know how to put up a painting. My father didn't know how to put up a picture. My father didn't know how to put up a picture. Wasn't he an engineer?

Yes, yes. He ran a fiberglass plant. Like, he knew scientific things. He just didn't know how to do anything around the house. That's like the one thing I can do is put up a painting. Nothing. Isn't it funny that you have these sets of Cuban men that grew up at the same time, had the same experience,

yet there's a section of them who can fix anything and do anything. And there's another section that is equally as large that can't do anything. But they were friends with the people who did. Exactly, the problem is our dads and our grandfathers were on that side of the line. Your dad can't fix anything.

My dad can't fix shit, neither can my grandfather. He used to work business, he used to play catch. That's how it gets handed down though, when your grandpa can't fix shit. Neither can my grandfather. He used to work business, and she split cash. That's how it gets handed down though, when your grandpa can't fix shit, neither can your father. That's why I can't fix shit. None of these people, the Lebatards, can't fix anything. Not, the women can, the men cannot.

That's how, I was just about to say, my mother-in-law, I believe the last time I had a flat tire, my mother-in-law changed it, which is not a fun sentence to say. My wife does that stuff around our house Oh, man. Yeah, would you be embarrassed put it on the pole at Leviton show? Would you be embarrassed if you had to call your mother-in-law to fix your flat tire? It's not a good don't you guys want to know how to do things though? I know how to I just don't want to screw it up

So I'm like, ah, like if I screwed on the hardest part about changing a tire is knowing where to put the thing to lift the car up. I don't want to bend my leg. I don't want to like, you don't want to dent the undercarriage. Right, it's like, which I may have done in my, you know, when I was like 17, 18, you try to lift a car, all of a sudden, the car is just denting and not lifting.

It's like, okay, I'm not gonna do this anymore. Yeah. The Jack, one of your favorite, your father's favorite sentences when he says there's a fact. Once again, you knew what I was talking about. I do, but your trouble with words is disconcerting today. Billy did know what you were talking about,

and Billy did have it right when he said to the group of us, don't you guys want to learn anything? You can learn how to fix anything on YouTube now. Like it's incredible. I went into my car, well my previous car, our IP was total, but I went in there and I fixed like the thing that's on the spark plug, or not the spark plug, I guess on the battery,

the like mount because it said that I had a bad battery but I didn't have to go in there, I had to change it. Just watch on YouTube, it was like this thing I ordered on Amazon, it was there. Cab had to change it. Just watch on YouTube. It was like this thing I ordered on Amazon. It was there. Cabin filters you can change on YouTube in two seconds. Cabin filters? What a scam.

Can I tell you something right now? And I'm sorry to all our mechanics and mechanical scammers out there. But if you go to a mechanics or a garage or whatever, and they tell you we can fix your air filters, we can fix your cabin filter, and there's two filters, it's gonna cost you like $250, because that's what they'll tell you.

You're like, oh wow, that sounds like a good deal. It is absolutely not. You can buy those two pieces for like $30 combined probably, and change them in 10 minutes. And then I can stare at my engine for like three hours, being like, where does this go? No, you just go on YouTube, you find a video you're done in five minutes.

With the internet, we trust the internet on you. What if, if I was a terrible person, I would just put up a bunch of how-to videos, doing it incorrectly. There's all kinds of accounts on Twitter where the blue check marks are trick, how about, how do you know you're not getting the NBA Centelle version of fixing cars on YouTube?

Before you put this in, you spit on it. Okay, I have fixed enough things with the help of YouTube that there isn't a sinister plot conspiracy of people who are pranking. I don't know that. Man, I wanna see a, I wanna be a flat a wall. There's no Barry McCaulkin or of spark plugs. I don't know that.

There's a nice space for that though. You're too lazy to change your tire. You're not gonna spend the time making videos to trick people into breaking their cars. All right, if you wanna change your tire first, roll it down a hill just to make sure it's got good treading, and then you just see some idiot like.

I am embarrassed by how this show has talked about all of this. I want to apologize on behalf of the manly men in the audience who are indeed handymen, who are hearing everything we're saying and hearing a show that can't be bothered to even check out YouTube's quick explanation on how to fix things.

Now we trust the internet. I would also like to apologize to the women in the audience who are also handy and think it's a little lame of us to think it's pathetic that we can't do things. We said Chris's mother-in-law can do things and that we can. I am specifically warding off the judgment of men against men for not being handymen

when Greg Cody alleges that he's a handyman when I know him to not be handy. He at least tries. You guys aren't even putting in the effort to try to fix things. I would be, if we had some sort of Olympics on fixing things, I would finish last. I would be the worst of all of us,

but not a lot worse than some of you. You're thinking a new edition of gold, silver, bronze, or did not podium today? Yes, let's, well. It's a good game, yes, I totally bronze, or did not podium today. It's a good game yesterday, Tony loved it. Another wordy one. Well, do you think, I've heard accusations around the office, Billy, that you're of the belief that Tony is now making parenting decisions

simply to spite you. Yeah, I think last week Tony was in a patented pickle. No. You only sell pickles in my movie theater. Really? How much? It's $2.99. Is that so? Well I think that last week Tony was in a patented pickle and we discussed it on air where we said it seemed as though. For it to be a pickle Billy not to not to interrupt you. Oh you are. For it to be a pickle it had to be something that is. Oh, you are. For it to be a pickle, it had to be something that is a rock and a hard place, and I'm kinda stuck in the middle of trying to decide.

This was a very easy decision for me. Yeah, I think that last week, for those of you who are catching up on the show, last week Tony, congratulations, had a child. Thank you, buddy. And it turns out his child was born six months ago, and we were discussing whether or not Tony would be someone who celebrates half birthdays.

And we kinda got the feeling that Tony might celebrate half birthdays. Tony one time, if I remember correctly, had a party at a brewery for a dog, and we were kinda like, what's going on here? So he had a whole party for a dog at a brewery. The dog birthday was not for me. He invited all of us.

We were like, no thank you, Tony. That's not what we're gonna do here. So anywho, Tony has a child and half birthday was coming up. So last week we were discussing whether or not Tony would have a half birthday. Is it a child? So here is the pickle that Tony was in. Do I celebrate my child and give my child lasting memories

via photographs that they will see years down the road because a child that's six months old won't remember anything, but do I celebrate my child? Do I do this for the family? Do I do this for my wife? Or do I prove Billy wrong and not throw a half birthday for my child and do the good parenting thing and do nice things for my family and my

wife and everyone involved and I was made aware that Tony's wife wanted to have a half birthday party and Tony said no we're not having a half birthday party now because of the conversation at work last week so Tony found himself in a pickle and he sided proving me me wrong, over the happiness and joy of his wife and family. So it wasn't a full blown birthday party. My wife wanted to get a cupcake to take pictures and stuff. That's a half birthday.

That's nice. Not happening. You said not happening for what reason? Because we don't need the constructs of, oh, get a picture with a cupcake, it's your half birthday. No, it's six months, We celebrate it. We move on That's it. You put a cupcake in front of them. You see what they do with it They like poke it. No, because then she puts it in her mouth. She can't eat that thing

They put their feet in it and it's a giant mess and you're watching you're like, what are we doing? This is a disaster and like it's so cute avoided and then a year later you look you're like, yeah It was kind of cute. I was getting upset about nothing So Dan I looked at my wife and I said No, not gonna happen, but I was looking at her But I was really looking at Billy like she like Billy's form took over my wife And I was like she's right and you're making parenting fighting me I'm like me absolutely when really I forgot that that even happened until we came in today

You're like guess what didn't have a half birthday I'm like I'm gonna give that a second thought until we came in today and you're like guess what didn't have a happy birthday I'm like that a second thought until we until today now you'll never forget Yeah, you you're ruining a child's life to spite me. Congrats. Thank you It it will be wonderful wonderful years from now When Tony is alone in sad dad village because his wife and the child have left and he's just smiling because he's like, but I did spite Billy. I got him. I didn't have to have a birthday.

He thought I was gonna have a birthday and I did not have a birthday. Imagine a crazy twist, nevermind. So this is from Lewis Riddick, good work there Billy. Well, because it puts all of us in a bad spot, but I was gonna say, imagine a crazy twist or something happens to my family and then Tony's family leaves him and they end up with me

After he was making all these decisions breaking them up to spite me what a plot then I win at the end So wait, so something happens to your family all of my family goes to live with you and now you become their father It's not just it's not just it's not just this I'm the new daddy I'll fix all the problems that you have because your old daddy made poor decisions despite me so many have birthdays around here Celebrate quarter birthdays in this house get used to it So just to be clear what just happened was that you didn't offer for Tony and the audience the mere Possibility of you stealing his wife

and family But his is going somewhere else too. You took his wife and six month old and you just said, I'd like to add everything to my family. I don't wanna eliminate my children or my wife. Are you all living together? Like this is your new family. Well no, in this horrible situation,

which none of us want to have, something happened to my family, so I was there. Yeah, no, I wasn't gonna leave my family for Tony's family. I'm sure they're lovely, but I love my family more than his for now. No, I thought you were gonna have both families. I thought Tony was gonna be alone. No, no, I can't handle any more kids.

There are different wings of the house. Plus the dogs, too. I like it better as you just stole Tony's family, and now he's lonely, but he has the victory over you on half birthday. Oh, he's gotta celebrate all the birthdays and I don't have to do anything. And he's got that victory forever.

The victory. Play PS5 finally. You may be having a great time with your wife and his wife and your child. No, something happened to my family. It's a horrible situation. We don't want this. No, you've made it that.

I've made it something different. I prefer you stealing the entirety of his family. It's a horrible situation. We don't want this. No, you've made it that. I've made it something different. I prefer you stealing the entirety of his family. But you understand why I said never mind now, right? Well, the part I don't understand is as a professional broadcaster why you start to say something and then offer it to the audience and then pull it back. It's not because I don't understand why you didn't say that you were thinking about stealing Tony's wife and child. I wasn't thinking about it, just something that may happen based on the parenting decisions that he is making to spite me.

It would be the most ironic thing, I think, I don't know how irony works, the most ironic thing if he's trying to spite me and what ends up happening is I end up winning. I wanna put in front of you this tweet from Lewis Riddick. What do you ever say? You have a problem with him? Well it felt like it. It felt like your tone suggested that there was a problem with Lewis Riddick. What did he have to say as if he had said the wrong thing? No, well I could be the judge of that. You are a judge, a journalist, a lawyer,

a doctor, and a race war expert. Yep. So here is Lewis Riddick on the Dolphins after they lured Darren Waller out of retirement, something I evidently was more excited about than just about anyone on earth, including Darren Waller yesterday. Dolphins are the very definition of uncertainty going into 2025, has zero idea what this team will look like, play like, come together like chemistry wise. Zero. Fascinating to me. Sounds like the most exciting dolphin team my lifetime. Is this team fascinating? What's fascinating about a team that hasn't won a playoff game in a quarter century and now has just a bunch of question marks and whatever players you've seen be great in a dolphin uniform so

far are not on the in the prime of their career. I guess outside of two. I think what he's telling you there is you look at it on paper and certainly there's a lot of talents on both sides of the football. So hey, they could be really good or they could be this year's total hot mess. They could be like the worst team in the league and just everything goes wrong. This is just frustrating because we had like a what?

Two year stretch, a year and a half stretch of being good. Yeah. Like it took so long. We finally got there. I like trying this. I was like, we have a good team. We've arrived and now it's gone again. And now everyone is back to just thinking we're a joke.

And it's like, we had a few injuries to our defensive line. I know we made some trades, but it's gone again and now everyone is back to just thinking we're a joke and it's like, we had a few injuries to our defensive line, I know we made some trades but it's like, the team's not that different actually that it was a few years ago. But you said they were good and they weren't. They were though. Right, they're not that different, like they weren't good last year.

They were interesting but they didn't win a playoff game. Because they got injured at the end of that, their good season two years ago, they got battered at the end. Who was that old defense alignment from the Chiefs? They signed, like Houston, they signed for that playoff game against the Bills. That team going into that year

was good on both sides of the ball. They got battered with injuries at the end of the season and it all fell apart and it just stinks because it seems like other teams have injuries and then get back to being good. And it seems like the Dolphins were good for like one season, got a ton of injuries and then just can't get back to being good. And it seems like the Dolphins were good for like one season, got a ton of injuries, and then just can't get back there. The teams that are good tend to be teams that are good

even if they have injuries in that sport. That's fair, no depth in that sport. I understand what you're saying. It's a perfectly logical explanation for how it is the Blueprint exploded on a WinNow franchise. They started the season having lost either whatever they were nine and two or whatever it is a great ended with the loss on monday night football tennessee

that was what it is every it just always ends in december around here in this century uh... but what riddick is saying about the dolphins as an entity is true right because as an entity is true, right? Because everyone is looking at the Dolphins and saying, well, if at quarterback you have the greatest of injury risks that will obviously detonate anything that you were planning in terms of team building, then of course, you're a bit of a mystery, but he's doing that

because of the Darren Waller signing, right? Because nobody knows what that is. Nobody, you can't have any idea what that is when the last three years have just been body problems and head problems. Oh, I think it's all of it because in the span of the 24 hours you have a team that that's that brought in Minka Fitzpatrick and also traded for Darren Waller. Two very big names and it's still like oh no Well, no No, what this team is you need Phillips and chub like right? That's like their defense align has to be what it was a couple years ago

Or else it's just if chub if they're not what they were they're not gonna be a good team That's it How about their offense being what it was a couple years ago because feels like that kind of got fought like found Out and everybody's like oh, what do we do now? This one how about in 25 years you keep using draft picks on offensive linemen and some of them can block Hey friends, it's Jarabare here and I'm here to tell you all about boost mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5g network So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice because I would never ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it.

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