The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Mr. Elhassan

Episode Date: March 15, 2024

Amin is filling in for Dan today and taking on the role of substitute teacher. The show starts with a discussion about the Miami Heat and Mike Ryan vents his frustrations with Terry Rozier. The show discusses the amount of pressure on Jayson Tatum to win a title this year and Joe Mazzulla's coaching job this season. Plus, Stugotz got hit by March while his wife was not home and Tony believes he is a better sports fan when his wife is away. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to DraftKings Network. This is the Dan Levatard Show with the StuGuts Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Welcome to the Dan Levitard show. I'm Amino Hassett filling in for Dan Levitard. That is John Wiener. He's also known as Stu Gotts. Hello. We've got a wonderful program for you guys today. What are you doing? I'm the substitute teacher. I don't like this substitute teacher.

I like how the substitute teacher rolls in the TV or watches Jurassic Park. Little sloppy. Yeah. We're getting work done today, guys. Keenan Allen got traded, and we need to talk about what the ramifications are for the charges. Tugatz. Amazing. Bears won the offseason.

Rambifications for the charges are Jim Harbaugh is telling you, I have a quarterback. Doesn't matter who his wide receivers are. I don't know if that's the case or not, but it seems like Jim Harbaugh's telling you, I have a quarterback, doesn't matter who his wide receivers are. I don't know if that's the case or not, but it seems like Jim Harbaugh is saying, eh, Mike Williams, don't need him. Keenan Allen, don't need him. Mike Ryan, what do you think about the return that the Chargers had?

A four-round pick. Mike Williams was cut because of the financial implications. They're way over the cap. It's not don't need him. And he was hurt, too. It's like $20 million or something that they shaved. They could have gotten rid of Khalil Mack. They could have gotten rid of other guys.

They decided to go Mike Williams and then trade Keenan Allen for a fourth round pick to the Bears. Again, the Bears winning the offseason. But it seems like maybe Harbaugh thinks that's not a position of priority for the Chargers. If you want to read into their offseason moves, and thank you for the question, Amin El-Hassan, it would just seem from the

recent things that we've seen that he's just trying to replicate the formula that he had in Michigan, which is just, if Coram's like the first player they draft, it would not be surprising. Billy Gill, thoughts on the college coach who came from the NFL coming back to the NFL but not bringing NFL stuff, bringing college stuff with them. What? Well he was an NFL coach he went to college he's come back in the NFL but he's not bringing NFL stuff with him he's bringing college stuff with him. Huh. You're gonna do this a whole show? Are those real glasses? Are those real glasses? You have a question for each of us? No they're CGI.

No I don't know if if Dan's glasses were there. Do you actually use those glasses? It's just a filter, yes. You told me to wait my turn, and that's a very disciplinarian for a substitute teacher. That goes against what a substitute teacher. As I explained to Tony, there are two types of substitute teachers.

Some of them are like, roll in the TV, let's just have a fun day. And others are determined to get work done. What percentage of your life is bits? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know what? Mr. Alhassan. You wanna hurt me?

I don't. You know what you wanna do? Send him to detention. You wanna hurt my feelings? I mean, he won't be here tomorrow, so. No, no, Roy. That's what he wants. That's what he wants.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. He wants attention. No, no, send him to detention what he wants. Saturday school? That's what he wants. He wants attention. No, no. Send him to detention. I know. And he wants attention. He acts out in class. You know why?

Because no teacher has ever reached out to him. You know what? Oh, he's throwing papers. Oh, no. I'm going to rap. Let me rap with you, Billy. Oh. You seem like a troubled youth.

Relatable. Yeah. Nobody listens to you. Nobody really takes you seriously. I'm going to take you seriously. 100%, Billy, is your answer. Please stop throwing paper. Not only is it disrespectful to me,

it's disrespectful to the environment. Just hoping that the camera catches it, but they've missed the first two. No, because they're not familiar. They're not familiar. No, they'd rather show the Ninja Warrior stuff in there. They're undercutting our substitute here. No, it's all right.

You know what? That's what we're gonna do. Let's play a game. I want everyone to go around the room. Now we're cooking. Stand up, tell us something about yourself, where you're from, and the last great meal that you had. Man, I hated these.

Chris, why don't you start us? You seem really excited. Well, I'm Chris. Stand up. You say you gotta stand up. I'm not doing this. I'm these. Chris, why don't you start us? You seem real excited. I hated these. Well, I'm Chris. Stand up. You say you gotta stand up. I'm not doing this. I'm Chris. Last night for dinner,

what did I have for dinner last night? I had Outback. Where are you from? I'm from Florida. Wow. South Florida. I'm from Miami. Born and raised.

You're not from Miami. Roy? My name is Roy Bellamy. I'm from Miami Gardens, Florida. and last night I had pizza for pie day You're a dork Wow well not doing this I do what I would normally not doing it sub. I'm just gonna go to sleep all right you guys We let it touch was right. Holy stucco. It was right

The day There you go. What is happening? What's happening is a cry out for attention from a bunch of prepubescent, immature jerks. Is it us that's crying out for attention? No. Let's move on.

Would love to talk about Terry Rosier. What about him, Terry? Do we do local sports anymore? I would like to say him like him playing is not good Sample is growing and they keep losing them of just what they play their best ball without him is just like And I know he occasionally has good games like he's a good scorer and like occasionally He's gonna have efficient games and they're still gonna lose and it's not necessarily fair to him But the sample is growing and they lose more than they win with him. What's your solution for a team

that is struggling offensively mightily? I mean, I know Tyler, this also lines up with Tyler getting hurt. My solution is don't play him. Mike, you traded for him. No, but you traded Kyle Lowry for him, which was a net negative, and you've improved, I guess, addition by subtraction.

But why aren't they winning with Terry Rozier? That's my, and I understand that Denver's a nightmare matchup for them, but they've also lost to the Washington Wizards. What's going on? Well, Michael, I was at the game, and if you watched that game, that was a close game

all the way up until the point where the Nuggets said, oh yeah, we have an offense and they don't. And then they just started scoring. Scored 88 scoring. But that's not a Terry Rozier thing. They held the Nuggets to a hundred. I don't mean to hold this Nuggets loss against Terry Rozier. Last one, I will hold that one again, it's Terry Rozier. But they've lost to Washington. What I'm saying is, and I know I have a clear agenda here and I wear my dislike for Terry Rozier pretty publicly and have for five years.

I'm not moving off of this point. It's just that the sample is growing to a concerning point and it's not necessarily fair to put it all on Terry Rozier but they don't have a winning record with when Terry Rozier is playing. So my solution is... You say don't play and play who? My solution is play him fewer minutes and just figure it out. they they have a bunch of guys that can play a bunch of different positions I think I think Terry Rozier for them to be successful He has to have a role and in order for him to find out whatever that does have a role I think Mike saying the role is too large 35 minutes my role is like If we're struggling and we need to microwave some points off the bench,

that's your role. Yeah, but it's still real disjointed, watching them out there. There's a disconnect between the way they play offense and the way he plays offense, and I think that's just from unfamiliarity. They haven't really found that. You think they're gonna fix that?

I think the only way you fix it is by letting them play and figure it out. Because he's played offense a certain way his entire career. Well, his entire career since getting to Charlotte. I mean, yeah, he was more efficient this year. It was probably the weakest total team. He's played on some bad teams,

but it may be coincidental that he had his best year when he was playing on the worst team, and yeah, he can grow and improve, and he has shown in his time in Charlotte working with those coaches that he has improved. He is not the same Terry Rozier that made me convince that he was the worst player in the NBA when he was in Boston and whatnot.

But what I'm saying is, it's not a fit. His game is not fitting with the Heats game, and Eric Spolcher is a tremendous coach. If anyone can figure it out, he can, but they're suffering through a pretty dismal stretch right here, and they force him to get into the play-in. Anthony. Isn't it kind of a work in progress, too?

I mean, you've talked about how in the season, when you make a trade in the season, that player, there's no practice time in season. You're just playing. So it feels like they're kind of building the airplane in the air with Terry Roger. And it's like, all right, come play, see if you

Can figure it out But it almost seems like he needs an offseason to get right with the program of the Miami Heat to like fit in those spots Right now they don't have any scores right heroes not not playing Jimmy's not that guy right now So everything kind of runs through him it just feels like alright We're gonna figure it out until we get here because we don't have any practice stuff Yeah, this team is bottom third in offense. Do you agree with Tony? They're building the airplane in the air. How's that?

Is that a thing that happened? Hard to do. Yeah. Like starting a company. How do you get up in the air? Right. Exactly. Try doing it in a pandemic.

You got to at least have the wings, right, before you get up? Like, and then you build the rest of it? No, no, no, no, no. Engines. Well, and wings. Well, engines. Engine with no wings, buddy. You can't build a wing.

Wings are no engines. You just got a car. You're just on the floor. Engines without wings, though, engines. Engine with no wings, buddy. You can't build a wing. Wings are no engines. You just got a car. You're just on the floor. Engines without wings, though, you just have a car. That's closer to a plane than just wings on the ground. At least you're moving.

Birds don't have an engine. Yeah, they do. It's called a hort. Stop disrupting, Christopher. I think Chris is right, though. Birds don't have engines. They do. It's called a hort. It's not called an engine, so they don't have it. engines. They do it's called a hort

It's not called an engine so they don't have it well, Billy Um it's called a hort and a hort is the engine of a bird so as I was saying Jonathan Yes, the heat are bottom third in the league in offense But specifically bottom third in half court offense as well right and then they don't even get transition opportunities They're about a middle-of-the-road Transition team their bottom third and getting them off of steals So when it's so hard to generate points How do you suggest that they should not play Terry Rozier as much when he's one of their better offensive players? I mean, he's average 17 a game the last I don't know ten games or so forty eight percent shooting I don't know what the heat do like we're going to spend time talking about this team,

and maybe, perhaps, this team is just not good enough. Teams, the Celtics, Bill Simmons, we're afraid of the Heat. What are you afraid of the Heat for? They have shown you nothing, nothing over this regular season that suggests they're going to make a deep run into the NBA playoffs if they make it.

I think they did show you something during the stretch that Terry Rozier was hurt. They were playing their best basketball. That could be coincidental. I'm just talking it out. But Mike, you just want to take them out of the equation. I don't like Terry Rozier. And they're losing when they play him and they win when he was on the roster but hurt. And stylistically, it doesn't necessarily seem like a fit. I don't know why they did this to me. Hello friends it's Mike and a lot has changed over the years. One thing that hasn't great taste of Miller Lite. It was the original light beer and to this day it is still

the best one. Miller Lite has more the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't. I'm so grateful for Miller Lite because it supplements all my good times. It makes good times great times. Whether it be football season, basketball season, or baseball season, in all likelihood your team is not living up to expectations. A few good moments made better by Miller Lite, and the bad times are made less bad, thanks to Miller Lite. Oh, I love you Miller Lite. I love you because you keep it simple. Undebatable quality. Great taste.

Only 96 calories. Times change, but you can always enjoy the great taste of Miller Lite. Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan where you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 galleries per 12 ounces. When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality

professionals that are right for the role. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn jobs. LinkedIn jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team faster and for free. As Metal Art Media continues to grow as a content studio, as a multimedia company, we strive to hire only the best and most qualified candidates. Thankfully, with LinkedIn, they've made it easy for us to find them. LinkedIn isn't just another job board. LinkedIn has a vast network of more than a billion professionals, which makes it the

best place to hire. It gives you access to professionals you can't find anywhere else. LinkedIn does all of that while making the process easy and intuitive. Hiring is easy when you have that many quality candidates. So easy, in fact, that 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash prep. That's LinkedIn.com slash prep to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Don LeBattard. Team mates can't shoot from three.

Now they're gonna see a different Jimmy. Now he's just, just playing. Nickelback in the locker room and Stugats. They'll play D and shoot threes as they chase the Nats for the sixth seed. These five words in his head scream, are we winning games yet?

This is the Dunn-Levatar Show with the Stugats. ["The Dunn-Levatar Show"] Mr. Alhassan, I have a question for you. Yes, Jonathan. This NBA season, the postseason is all about one player, right? One team, one player, correct? Is it a specific player or you just

saying? It's Jason Tatum. Like, no one else has the pressure to win an NBA title this year quite like Jason Tatum. In fact, if any other team doesn't win, there's not going to be much of a reaction meaning so-and-so choked, XYZ choked, but if the Celtics don't win

an NBA title, it's going to be Jason Tatum. It's not good enough, right? I will submit to you that it's not Jason Tatum who has the pressure, although you're right on the team. It is the Celtics. Right. They have to win. The team that has the pressure is the Celtics. The person at the Celtics who has the pressure is Joe Missoula really Joe Missoula has by my estimation

Should be coach of the year Every like I was agreeing with Stu. I was like he's so right There's no one with more pressure, and then you said Missoula, and I'm like no no he's right Thank you Christopher, but that team has all the but here. Here's here's the problem over diagonal Here's the problem. No. Yes over diagonal. I'll tell you why first of all they've been excellent wire to wire They're incredible defensively we made all these jokes about Joe Missoula, and they've gotten better offensively He's done a phenomenal job. He doesn't have a bench think about this He's doing this and his bench is Sam Houser

Peyton Pritchard and Luke freaking cornet well and and and they play well by the way Al Horford I mean Al Horford start had to start a bunch of games because I think this has been hurt Yeah, so when you talk about those three guys playing and playing well on that team thriving with that as the rotation Part of it is by the way those guys are playing well I got to give the coaching staff credit for development and part of it is he's winning with those kinds of players i gotta get to him but he does things that make it so that if they don't succeed

everything is gonna fall in my love you guys saw this last night the sons in the celtics are playing right celtics on my so run this court timeout phoenix fit the call of the timeout is called roysone over the sun one of those little practice shots off. Joe Mazzullo runs from the bench to try to contest. Mazzullo the coach? Mazzullo the coach.

I've never seen the head coach try to do that. He sprints out on the floor and contests the shot by Royce O'Neal. And he missed it? Royce O'Neal missed it. No, I'm saying did he effectively swap the shot? No, he didn't block it, but the shot was missed. That's sad. I've never seen a player try, I mean, a coach or a player

try to do that. It was a great contest. It was a great contest. Afterward, they asked him about it, and he said, look, I tell our guys, I don't want guys getting shots off, practice shots off, and getting into a rhythm when they're not feeling well. So when we call timeout and it's in front of our bench,

we're going to stop them one way or another. And since nobody else did it, I said, hey, the staff has to be responsible too. That was his explanation. Now, it's hilarious, and when you're winning, it's one of those quirky things that everybody loves. But when you lose, guys in the back row. They're playing around back to your team.

We're trying to have a discussion here. Guys, can you listen to Mr. Halse and please? Royford, Michael, stop. They've been trying to have a discussion here. Guys, can you listen to Mr. Halse and please? Royford, Michael, stop. They've been trying to shoot in this little square hole over here and they aren't good. And they're missing because they're terrible at basketball. That's why this conversation doesn't interest them. Terry Rogier trying to hit the camera. We've got that Joe Masulla contest on the screen by the way.

Oh my god, that's great. Can you imagine if he does a Zaza Petrullia to O'Neil, messes up his ankle? Can you imagine? Can you imagine if Royce O'Neil hits the shot? Let's go! One for 18 back there. I wanted to see the Missoula thing. Scary Terry.

We could run it back one more time. The point is, when you do something like this, you've boxed yourself into one of two things, StuGots, StuGots? Yes, I'm listening. Boxed yourself into one of two things. Either you're the greatest coach of all time because you're gonna win championships and everyone's gonna accept you burning sage

and all that kooky stuff and loving different wines and stuff, or you're gonna be run out of this league as a kook. That is kooky behavior regardless of whether they win or lose, but when you win, everyone loves it. That's a stressed man right there. Wait, so they make it to the NBA finals and lose and you're telling me he gets fired? Is that what you're saying? The only way he wins is by winning? When you do stuff like that, yes.

But will he get fired when you do stuff like that to Royce O'Neal, I understand that. Depends on when you lose. It's cute when you're winning, right. Depends on when you lose and depends on who you lose to and it depends on how you lose. It doesn't depend on what Jason Tatum does in the biggest game. Like let's say it's a game six, NBA finals,

season on the line, championship on the line, and Tatum gives you a three of 16, you know? We'll find a way to blame Missoula. Really? Really? It's quantifiable with Tatum. Tom Habershow did a deep dive on Tatum because I've long had a theory and Mike Schur just kind of dismisses me. I'm like, there's something there with him.

He just has these weird stretches in games where he either disappears or is ineffective. And Tom Habershow did do a deep dive on the numbers and it suggests that there's something to that hypothesis. And I would submit to you that it's because there are no adjustments that happen when it happens to them and that's a coaching issue. I think if you're gonna blame someone.

But he's playing for good coaches. I know, but still they've got to do more. And I would say if there's a blame issue between Tatum and Missoula, guess who's gonna get the blame? It ain't gonna be Tatum. But Tatum gets none of it for you? You're just putting it all, I'm with you. There's blame to go around. I'm not putting it all on him.

I'm telling you, if that comes down to they didn't do well enough, they're going to put it on Missoula before they put it on the guy who might be MVP of this league. Mm. Excuse me. Let's move on. You know what, Jonathan?

Since you want so much attention, let's talk about your day. Attention? What do you mean? How was your Thursday, Jonathan? You know what happened to me yesterday? We had these work from home days for Metalarc, which I'm very thankful for. I did some work and then March happened. Billy and I did some God bless football and then I got into March.

And what I mean by March is, I started watching college basketball teams, I haven't watched all season. I started betting large amounts of money on college basketball teams, I haven't watched the entire season. Prepping for the tournament. I lost some money on Loyola, double overtime loss,

Sister Jean. Sister Jean, still kicking. It's asking a lot, you know, asking her to Loyola double overtime loss. Sister Jean. Sister Jean, still kicking. It's asking a lot, asking her to go to double overtime. And so she couldn't get it done. I lost money there. Then I won money later on, taking Marquette, haven't watched him play. By the way, Buzz Williams no longer the coach at Marquette.

What? Yeah, yeah. It's Wodjo, right? It's Shaka Smart. Oh, Shaka Smart, oh wow. He's not at Texas anymore? It's March. And so then what did was you know I'm feeling good. I'm done with work. It's Friday You know we're on the verge of a Friday fine. Yes, it was Thursday, but we're on the verge of a Friday

It's fine Friday Well anyway Jonathan we digress it's a fine how much $2 $5 $5 $5 $5 get out. Thank you for correcting me Michael You know the teachers not infallible sometimes the teacher also makes mistakes right and we're all in this together So anyway, I took a gummy $5 you put two in there yesterday was a classic March Day Oh, it was a great March Day. I'm telling you you had the PGA going on players guys. Yeah had college basketball Wall-to-wall, you know noon until midnight last night Okay, but after I put the marquette bed in I went out and I took a gummy and I went out and played nine holes

And by the time I got to 16 the gummy kicked out you play nine holes But when you got to 16, we gummy kicked in. It starts at 10. I only point this out, 10, 11. I came the closest I've ever come to having a hole in one of 11. That's Mike's hole. That's where he hit the driver. Greatest driver I've ever seen. He stuck it within three inches of the cup.

Is that the white belt game? It gets closer every time you say it. Speaking of three, you still owe $3. I only have two more stories left. I have two more inches to work with. You only have $2 there. That's what Abby says. The gummy kicks in on 16 and oh did me and 16 have some laughs. We laughed together because

the gummy kicked in, I put five in the drink and I'm like, I got to get out of here. That's what happened. So I went to Publix and I have told you guys for a number. I'm just driving your golf cart from that tee box to Publix. You didn't put five on the table though. You called the new burr right you didn't drive. I did not drive Yes, I I walked to public there you go and attaboy. I've always told you guys Going to Publix on a gummy very dangerous game Going to Publix when you're on a gummy and your wife is not home, the most dangerous of games. So Amin, I am going to show you

what it is I purchased at Publix. Honest next. Okay? And you can tell the guys what it is that I got. Now Jonathan, was Mrs. Stugots gone out of town or just not there at the moment when you went to Publix? She was gone the entire day and boy did I have a day. It's March, I mean.

So, I mean, this is what I purchased. I went in there with the best intentions. But I was hungry, and I started walking around the aisles. I got some Mega Millions tickets, and then that happened. Please tell me the video team has this picture. Please tell me the video team has this. They do not, just describe it. Okay.

Two packets of M&M's, the theater kind, right, in the box. Two different types of White Castle sliders. We've got the classic burger, and then we've got Chicken sandwiches. Was it Bogo? Chicken breast sliders, yeah. No, definitely not a Bogo situation. Then we've got, from Pillsbury Doughboy, Fine.

The shark, wait, what's that? Sugar cookie dough? Just the dough. And also another one. Oh, these are Easter kind. It was buy one, get one for me. Now who pays for this fine? Because it was your phone, but it was in a means hands.

No, Stugatz is fine. Can you put his phone on mute? I just did. I'm gonna try to hold it up to the camera right here so everyone can see. Damn it, this is costing me. Look at that, zoom in. Seven more dollars.

I love how he laid them all out to take the picture too. Oh wow, yeah, look at that. What's that, French bread in the middle? No, those are, because I didn't buy enough cookies, those are two sprinkled cookies from the bakery. Those public sprinkled cookies are elite, by the way. The best. So good.

The greatest things ever. So two boxes of White Castle, couple of sprinkle cookies, some frozen cookies. I baked a couple. Were you in college? How much of this did you eat? I ate all of it. I mean, I had two cheeseburgers, two chicken sandwiches. I baked one set of cookies. I had the sprinkle cookies, both boxes of pita and M&M's. It's March. And Mrs. Weiner came back home and found what? Mrs. Weiner was not home. Had Mrs. Weiner been home, I never would have purchased any of that. So when did she come home?

She's still not home. She's gone for the weekend. How do you know she's ever coming back? If she does, she does. Party at Stu's house this weekend. I can't control that. What's up? It's a free house?

Is it okay if the teacher shows up? No, the teacher can't show up. I'm hip, I'm cool. What are they, well, I know how to whip and nae nae. No. Isn't that what the kids are doing now? Hello, hello kids. We're going to have a march, boys.

And if you want to have a march and see some of these games and see some of these incredibly wonderful march madness moments, why don't you download the Game Time app, create an account and use a code Dan for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply, last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed. I actually use Game Time, I'm going to the Panthers game again because I had such a great time last Saturday. I looked for tickets in the same exact section as I had last week thanks to Game Time and I'm going to watch the Cats play the Bolts, a huge insane rivalry.

I saw exactly what my view would be from my seat. I saw upfront pricing, so no surprises with the fees. I love Game Time, it's the best, and they have a guaranteed rate. If you find something better, they'll match plus more. So download the Game Time app now. Well done, Michael. Nice to see you contributing again,

as opposed to just being a disruptive class. I would like to talk about the Carolina Hurricanes and how they're convinced that they're an Achilles heel for the Florida Panthers, but if you really pay close attention to these games, they've landed on tricky road trips for the Florida Panthers and they've been hurt. The Panthers, believe it or not,

have scored five goals against Carolina Hurricanes this season, which is an amazing feat when you consider they've been shut out in their last two games in Raleigh So you won't say Mike that of all the Eastern Conference teams? They're the one you'd want to see the least I don't like to talk about that way because I don't want to give them that social currency But yeah, no, they're a difficult matchup. They're a good team. Look this is it I actually do think it'll be a rematch of last year's Eastern Conference Finals

Which for the record and for their head coach over there in Carolina was indeed a sweep by those Florida Panthers. So I actually think Florida's recent track record against them is good. You can hold up the two shout outs and be super excited. I understand that if you're Carolina. They play a very, look, they blew the doors

off of Florida last night. They were super organized defensively. They played a Florida Panther game. I really hope to see them down the line because I don't like that team whatsoever. Old pandemic division rivals. Remember we played in the what was it? The central division presented by discover. That's correct. When we come back, are you a better sports fan when your wife isn't home? Don LeBretard! Again, started on the breakfast flan. Oh man, I've been singing a song to myself all morning while I'm...

Breakfast flan, dun dun dun dun. StuGuts! Have you never heard the breakfast flan song? No, hit me with it. Okay, I wish I had some breakfast flan, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun breakfast flan, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun where can I find a breakfast like that? This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats!

Stugats, one of the things I love about this show when we're on live is getting the live communications from people around the world texting us, sending us messages. You got a message from Pablo Torre. He's watching live right now. He said White Castle Elite. He said White Castle Burgers Elite. I gotta put it in for the right amount of time though because man there is nothing worse. 25 seconds with the button up 25 seconds reverse. time though, cause man, there is nothing worse. 25 seconds with the bun up, 25 seconds reverse. There is, whoa, there is nothing worse. Baby. There is nothing worse. Then you bite into that thing, and it's cold. Oh cold.

You get the, like, the, you haven't put it in long enough and you bite in, like, that is the worst thing in all of life. Well, Pablo's eating actual White Castle though, probably. That's the difference. Like, not frozen, microwaved White Castle. Number one, yes, there's a huge difference going to White Castle.

Pretty sure those are also frozen. No, no, no, no. Those are made fresh, Chris, come on. Fresh, buddy, I see it with my own eyes on the grill. Number one. I saw them kill a cow. I saw them raise the cow. Oh, damn!

They named it and everything. They said, would you like ketchup? I said, no, the cow's blood. The key to the White Castle Burger and enjoying it to the max is not looking at the meat. Oh no, gotta stare at the meat. No, you stare at the meat, you're done, you won't eat it, are you kidding me?

What are you talking about? Dangerous game. Put it in my mouth. It doesn't look like meat. Yo! Chris, I've developed a taste for a microwaved delectable that is cold in the middle. It's almost like a nice kind of umami thing going

where it's scalding hot here, and then all of a sudden you find that cold frozen middle. Uncrustables, I was gonna say. It's the best. It is uncrustables. You guys don't like that? No, I do. In fact, it was a story that I read

that there was a shocking amount of uncrustables delivered to the Kansas City Chiefs Hotel that the staff there, because they would order them by the crate, was blown away. They could not comprehend how human beings could eat so many uncrustables. Air fryers to play, by the way.

Really? Especially for white-yellow cheeseburgers, too. Dude, I gotta get on that. I'm gonna tell you, before we get to air fryers Because I do have a take on that but Mike professional sports teams love uncrustables every NBA locker room You go in there before the game. There's a spread. There's fruit There's there's some coffee and stuff and then there's some crustables laid out there And I used to when I was a video coordinator I used to sneak in the locker room and grab some and then stash them

It's all about the stash or grab and stash and then tomorrow morning. Guess what? I'm having breakfast Uncrustables, but Chris here's my problem with air fryers air fryers are superior technology to microwaves, right? The food comes out tasting better problem is I have a whole lifetime of knowing how much time to put on the microwave to cook anything I don't have to read the wrapper or anything. Just shove it in there. Beep, beep, beep. But it's different for different foods. Air, no, but I know for a microwave.

But air fryer, how do you do it? What do you do? You just like do it two minutes and eye test. Yeah, but you gotta put the degrees high. You gotta put the degrees low if you wanna cook something internally. You can also Google it, because Google has a result for every type of food to air fry, I swear.

I mean, it's like everything, yes. First of all, you can get YouTube or Google, anything will tell you how to do it. Too much work. Like the microwave, you just do it for a couple years and you get a feel for it. Eyeball it, yep. Just like the microwave, two minutes at 375,

you're cooking usually. Really? I'm just saying, that'll get the job started. Maybe you'll need a little more time, but that's how you gauge it. I used to not like uncrustables. In fact, I used to not like peanut butter and jelly at all. What's wrong with that?

Because my palate said that I didn't like it, but your palate changes every seven years. And I had a happy discovery a couple of months ago. I used to hate broccoli. 37 years on this planet, I hated broccoli. Actually, oven. But now, I like broccoli. It just happened.

I'm like, this isn't so bad. So you go to a Chinese restaurant, they got beef with broccoli, you were like, ew! That one's so tough for me to wrap my head around because I like a crispy broccoli. Do you separate the beef from the broccoli? Do you do that if you order it? Do you separate?

I do, I always used to. If I had broccoli in my Chinese food, I would always pick it out. And still like the slimy, soggy broccoli, that's gonna take some getting used to, if I had broccoli in my Chinese food, I would always pick it out. And still, the slimy, soggy broccoli, that's gonna take some getting used to. I love it. To me, the beef and broccoli, that's the worst version of broccoli.

No. Give me crispy in the oven. No. You're talking about a boiled, Sauteed wheel. I don't want my br- Sauteed wheel. You gotta tell him in the wok.

I don't like any boiled veggies. You guys are trippin'. I like crisp. Yeah, give me some crisp. How about steamed? Crunchable texture. Every vegetable I cook at the end, same animal. I'm broilin' that thing. But steamed can be a little crunchier.

When they have the veggie tray, are you the one grabbing the raw broccoli? No. No, I'm not touching that. I'll get that in some bread. If it was fried, I'd be in. I like broccoli my way, but I used to hate broccoli. And you know Let this be a lesson for those in the audience You could be so set in your ways and convinced that you don't like the food give it seven years

Does is that real does anyone else have this experience of seven years later your well a hundred percent true A lot of people with alcohol that when I know but Tony Mike doesn't truly like broccoli. but I like it a certain way. It's like Brussels sprouts I love Brussels sprouts by the way Brussels sprouts best PR ever for vegetables cuz when I was growing up no kale And when I was horrible, I'm gonna tell you why because kale when I was going up I never even heard of kale never even heard of it and it still stinks But people do it because it's healthy right? It's not new It's brand new at Pizza Hut back in the 90s. They would put kale as the little garnish around the garnish That's before you could eat it. It's new yeah

collard greens, but glorified collard greens, it's like this gentrified collard greens I don't like collard greens, it's gentrified collard greens. It's not even close. I don't like collard greens. I'm not going to be careful. Be respectful. I'm being respectful. Is that what you mean?

Be respectful. What? I'm not going to say you're an idiot for liking collard greens. It's just not my thing yet. But I gave it seven years. Russell Sprouts PR. Because when I was growing up, when

they wanted to demonstrate on TV, Sugat, back me up here, on TV, on a sitcom or in a movie, the kids didn't want to eat, the mom would say, eat your Brussels sprouts. And the kids are like, ew, they're gross. And now it's like the gourmet item. Everyone's like, ooh, how are the Brussels sprouts here? What is this?

Where did you guys grow up? I will back you up on that, but now they're dripped in like oil, they're fried, they have bacon bits in them, they're delightful, I mean they are. Put a little honey on that thing. A little Asian sauce on top. Oh, so good. A little honey on your Brussels sprouts? Yeah, it's like a finisher.

Yeah, put it back in the oven, get it caramelized. Maybe I'm just a 20 CB kind of guy. There's basically nothing that doesn't love a little drizzle of honey on it. It's funny that we've roamed this planet for however long we have, and we just discovered hot honey, and garlic cilantro sauce too. I'm pretty sure garlic cilantro was invented in like 2002,

and now it's amazing. No, garlic cilantro's been around. Garlic cilantro's been around. Yeah, since 2002. You gotta walk. I've been Cuban my whole life, and garlic cilantro just like came upon the scene, and now all of a sudden it's a po with a big eye I sometimes go there and steal it

Hmm. Oh, I'm cooking chicken and I'm like, I need some garlic cilantro I'll just walk right into a poyo scoop up some things to go and just walk out to sell out of Publix Take four of those things home with me now cilantro was invented in 6000 BC Yeah, but car in 2000 BC. Yeah, but garlic cilantro. I gotta say it. Cilantro was invented. I get it.

They didn't meet. Who invented it? Was it Kukuru? When you finished, see when kale was invented. They both walked the earth separate from one another, never bumping into each other until 2002, according to Mike. Spider-Man meme, they're like, wait a second. What if we mix together with cream?

Kale was invented in 2000 BCE. No. That's what it says here. Why'd you pronounce it like that? Look it up. I don't know. together with cream. Kale was invented in 2000 BCE. No. That's what it says here. Why'd you pronounce it like that? Look it up, I don't know. What's the next one? Garlic cilantro?

Garlic cilantro cream. Okay. The sauce. This is a segment we call Sougat's Googles. It's brought to you by. Yeah. Cause it was like at the turn of the century, a bunch of these chicken kitchen competition joints started popping up.

And there was one place next to FIU that decided to eschew the mustard curry sauce and introduce garlic cilantro. And I'm pretty sure that's when garlic cilantro sauce was invented. Here. It was never the same. There's really not a white sauce you don't like.

There's garlic cilantro. That was chicken grill. Tzatziki. There's the white sauce from La Granja. Yes was a only a only a only just mail. Oh, yeah, that's another That's another PR like who Mike was right 2001. That's incredible. I told you he was just invented That's amazing across the street from FIU also right chicken grill That's amazing. He says across the street from FIU also, right? Yeah. Chicken grill.

Chicken grill. Even though three chefs and a chicken is the most superior of all chicken places like that. Yeah. Let's try to think of a chicken restaurant name that hasn't been used yet. What? Because there's like chicken grill, three chickens,

chicken, chicken. No, three chefs and a chicken. Three chickens would be funny. I'd call it three chefs. Yeah, three chefs. I'm a three chefs guy. I mean, for everybody else, it doesn't know. What about chicken know what about I don't want them to know check that line sure lay, but with a ET at the end Fill it chicken

Phil Chiquet, that's how you do it. I know a Phil Chiquet He's abandoned wait I so fell for that It was very he was fighting a Bellator. Tony, being a better sports fan when your wife is not home. Guys, my wife was gone for a business trip a couple of weeks ago for the whole week and I found myself so dialed in on hoops it was crazy. I was watching like Pacers Raptors on League Pass and I was like wow Halliburton this guy's good what are we doing OG Ananoby not a rat or excuse me uh Pascal Siakam yeah not a Raptor anymore he's a Pacer. You tuned in that game and you were surprised at which team he was playing for. I was like ooh I hate these jerseys though they have

like these like Navy jerseys with like a weird script on them whatever. Yeah that's the city edition jersey. The point is I was so locked in on hoops, right? I was watching games every single night I was watching back-to-back games. I was when the Heat were on a road trip So I was watching King's Heat at 1130 at night late game super locked in my wife comes home Haven't watched an NBA game. So what now you I feel like you're just blaming her Why did why is she response? She like it it is? She wants to watch other things. Obviously, you've got to catch up on love is blind. She wants to watch a movie.

She wants to do this. She wants to do that. It's tough to watch sports when your wife's home. Tony, I got advice here. Hold on. Let me give a little advice. Talk to me. Honey, honey.

It's for work. Hot honey. Ooh. I have to watch this. Yeah, but she doesn't want to watch Buck's son. Yeah. But honey. Hot honey.

It's for work. The only shot that you got is getting your wife invested in the team. Now, my wife loves the Panthers. And when I put that game on the TV, the main TV was sound. It's not a problem. That's true.

My wife is also in on Panthers right now. How do I sell her that the Clippers are actually kind of good and we want to watch the Clippers? You're toast with NBA. The regular season there is media. You're going to have to sell her on Terry Rozier. Yeah. Wait a second. Terry Terry. Wait a second. There's 82 NHL games in a regular season. The NHL regular

season has been incredible. Every night there is a dream matchup of division leaders. No, no, no. There is no consequences in the NBA. No good teams are missing the NBA playoffs. There are good teams missing the playoffs in the NHL. Name one. I will tell you, Minnesota's probably gonna miss it. Detroit, they've been good during most of the regular season. They're on a skid right now. They played themselves out of a playoff spot. There were back-to-back nights where division leaders went on the road, were down three goals,

came back to win. It was incredible. There was a game winner off someone's face the other day. Wow, really? The difference is it's a local team. You can get your wife, you can sell your wife It was incredible. There was a game winner off someone's face the other day. Really? The difference is it's a local team. You can get your wife, you can sell your wife on cheering for the local team. You can't get her to watch Siaco.

How do I sell her on Luca Doncius looks like me, but also is the best player in the NBA? I saw my wife on Canucks Avalanche the other day. I feel like the Heat have played themselves out of the playoffs. Like when you walked into the house? I mean, it was 1030 at night. Late night delight. Late night Hozer special. God the NHL's electric right now. That sport is on a

launchpad to the moon. Why is everyone up but the NBA is down? Because of bad PR from people like you. NBA is great. Because everybody wipes. It's never been better. Everyone's wipes are home. Hello friends it's Mike and a lot has changed over the years. One thing that hasn't, great taste of Miller Lite. It was the original light beer and to this day it is still the best one. Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't. I'm so grateful for Miller Lite because it supplements all my good times. It makes good times great times. Whether it be football season, basketball season, or baseball season, in

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