The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Our First Phones

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

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Proximo. Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly. Cuervo. This is the Don Leventor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. So like seconds before we started the show, Hawk sat down and he says, Andy Milonakis. Does that name mean anything to any of you? Andy Milonakis. You guys remember Andy Milonakis? Yeah. Anybody? Yeah.

Andy Milonakis. I like him. No. Love him. So Andy Milonakis was a guy. You love him. I loved him. when he was a thing Yeah, I think about the age right like you were the exact age to think that Andy Milonakis was the coolest thing It was pretty cool, but Andy Milonakis was like this. I think he had like the Gary the Gary Coleman

Syndrome or whatever. I always looked young. I always look young I know he wasn't young but he looked looked like a 12-year-old boy and sounded like a 12-year-old boy. Here's a picture of him right there. And so... He's 66 at that age. Exactly. Right now.

So he was on MTV a lot and all these different shows, and they did prank shows and stuff like that with him, where he would pretend to be like a kid lost at the mall, and then he would say some wild, reckless stuff. Yep. And so it transported me back to another time, right? Like the early 2000s where it feels like when you say 2000 whatever you're like oh yeah

that's closer to us now than like the before four time. But man I was looking through this old magazine was about 25 years old and I saw some ads in it that made me go wow. All right so there's a Snickers ad where the tagline is, getting burned by shorty, unfortunate side effect of hunger. Oh, shoot. And so what it was, was like, a dude dressed, supposed to be like, and one, shorts, headbands,

wristbands, everything, right, baggy, and a little kid in a velour sweatsuit that's a velour, tear away sweatsuit. Come on now. Playing defense. That's prime fashion. What magazine is this? It was a Sports Illustrated from about 25 years ago.

Getting burned by shorty, unfortunate side effect of hunger. Here's another one. It's a Viagra ad. And hold on, hold on, before we just gloss over that one, I feel like we have to even also give context to Anne 1. I don't feel like everyone knows what Anne 1 is.

Okay, so once upon a time. And also magazines. And also what the hell is a magazine, bruh? Once upon a time, people, when they wanted to read something that was kind of current, but not too current, like a newspaper, but not too big picture like a book, you bought something called a magazine.

It had a lot of pictures, it was glossy and it was, it filled with articles and ads. Your grandpa would keep a stack of them under his bed. Like magazines. You weren't supposed to go under different kind of magazines. Under any circumstances. National Geographic.

I bet Greg Cody's got a big stack of magazines next to his toilet. I think they were about rabbits or something, I don't know. Some rabbit magazine my grandpa used to have. My parents do have magazines in their bathroom. Right, is there a little like, is there a rack? Yes, a little rack.

The little rack, man. I don't know, I haven't been in their bathroom, honestly, at this point in probably 10 years, but they did at one point. After yesterday, seems wise. Yeah. So. I don't understand that reference.

It's a lot of State of the Toilet Bolt. Okay, got it, got it, got it. Oh, wow, I missed a good one yesterday and one one thing on and one. Yeah, were you a big and one guy? Of course, who was it? Okay. I was so big and one that we created our own and one mixtape. No, I wasn't that great We had our own like nicknames mine was grits and hotcakes Was the was the next long A little long. It was a little long. When they're, yeah. Yeah, and also like the, like G and H didn't really ring either so you couldn't shorten it.

So it was just- Gritz and Hotcakes? Eh, that's a little on the nose. They should've just called you Gritz. Gritz would've been better, but that was like, it couldn't be one name. It was like as A and one got bigger, it had to get more weird.

It also, it was kind of like Bologna in my pocket. That would've been a better A&1 mixtape name than Grits and Hotcakes. Bologna in my pocket. By the way, Andy Milonakis' career tab on his Wikipedia page is one of the most 2003 paragraphs I've ever read. Give it to me.

It says, on January 26, 26 2003 the day of Super Bowl 37 really good at Roman numerals Milonakis decided not to attend a friend's Super Bowl party and instead recorded a video titled quote the Super Bowl is gay He posted the video to the website angry naked pat.com and within two weeks They went viral a writer for ABC's new late-night show Jimmy Kimmel live Spotted it and got Milonakis on the program. At the time he was working as a tech support staffer at a Manhattan accounting firm. That's crazy.

It was a different time. He posted on a website that wasn't YouTube, which, can you even do that anymore? There were websites other than YouTube.com. There were websites other than YouTube.com. YouTube didn't exist, so you had to go to E-bombs World and places like that to get your, yeah. Oh, E-bombs World. Who's E-bombs? The prank calls I used to do to e-bombs world and places like that to get your

Calls I used to do on e-bombs world were crazy you guys watch homestar runner No, what is that? Oh, man? What's it on it was a it was a website that had a bunch of videos with different characters in it and they were Pivotal in my childhood development. This is like no one else Is it like a world star for white people? What'd you say? Is it World Star for white people? No, not at all. Okay.

That's Home Star Runner. Wow, okay, very different from what I thought. What is it? Like what is it supposed to be? He's like a cartoon, I don't know how to describe it. He's a cartoon and it was all these like video shorts and they were revolved around all these different characters.

It was a different time. That's Strong Bad by the way. Do you remember Happy Tree Friends? Yes. Oh, Happy Tree Friends was like, oh my god, you would have loved it. So Happy Tree Friends was like, it was almost like a little kid show.

It was like, they were terrible and they always like, they would just murder each other. They scared the shit out of me. Yeah, so like, it was sort of like, la la la la la la, like you know, like the Powerpuff Girls or something, right? And then all of a sudden one of Them would like rip out a machete and just oh, I think this is it right yeah

Look this is happy true friends so here They are it looks like they're gonna go and they're gonna talk on the phone and this is gonna be great Oh, no, he burned them with coffee, and now you keep watching or gory. Yeah, this one's gonna Do it you probably see his brain at some point like itchy and scratchy But yeah kind of kind of a more you know gourd cuz it's the internet that one was pretty tame more gory than itchy and scratchy, but yeah kind of kind of a more, you know gourd cuz it's the internet That was pretty tame more gory than itchy and scratchy where he's decapitated ahead and stuff and blood is squirting I think it's you and scratchy worse more scary looking whereas the happy tree friends were like more cute Yeah, they sucked you in by thinking that this was like a pleasant nice thing and then it was always it was always out

horrible, you'd see bones the Trick of life is actually taking anything from 2003 doing it now, and it's it fits perfectly Yes, well, okay. What about what about Pontiac excitement pass it on Pontiac? Can you do a Pontiac now does Pontiac still make cars no okay? What was the last Pontiac made retros? They should make a retro Pontiac. It was Probably around the Lehman Brothers collapse the Pontiac that That Walter White drove in breaking bad SUV was a crossover

That was a fire car that was a big claim to fame was like hey you can plug in an actual appliance in the back they had like a, a, a CPV. That was the Pontiac Vibe. Says the last Pontiac car produced was a 2010 Pontiac G6. Bad times for the Pontiac bandit. Look, there could be a retro. The white Ford Bronco came back, bro. They really, really came back. They care everywhere.

But Ford's back. Anything back then you bring back is an advantage. In Coconut Grove, and if you don't live in Miami, Coconut Grove is a neighborhood where rich people drive very nice cars, but then they also have golf carts that they drive around to get coffee and breakfast with their kids in the morning. And it's bizarre, but anyways.

It's a great place. I love the Grove, however, we saw a guy driving through the Grove in a souped up golf cart that was not a golf cart, it was a Bronco, like a miniature Bronco, I think it was electric. Do you know what I'm talking about? And it was at seven in the morning and he was driving down the street

blasting Weedem Boys on the radio. Weedem Boys. The former NFL running back by any chance. And how fast was the golf cart going? He was way too large for this tiny car. Blasting weed on boys, me and Lehman looked at each other and were like, what the, this neighborhood is wild. That's what made the neighborhood wild. That fits though, anything from back then.

Even Andy Milonakis, what was the title of his video? The Super Bowl is Gay. The NFL ran a marketing ad in 2021, Football is Gay. It's a different context, but everything comes back. Oh wow, you might be onto something. I'm telling you. Okay, so question. What was MMA like in the early 2000s?

Was that like the Gracie's or what? It was, that was the 90s, but early 2000s was like Chuck Liddell. Oh, Chuck Liddell. The Iceman. Ah, the Iceman. Mauricio Shogun Hua. There was a lot of great names back in the day in MMA.

Wasn't it a lot more brutal back then? Yeah. Were the rules different? Rules weren't different. It was just a lot more gory. When it started, it was more of like cage, right? And it wasn't like mixed martial arts. It was like everybody knew different martial arts.

It was like, this guy is good at kung fu and this guy is good at Mai Tai and they're gonna fight each other just using their one art. Mai Tai is a drink. Okay, well Mai Tai is also. I'm good at Mai Tai. In my bag right now.

Literally, I got Mai Tai is right here. Oh, well done. There you go, that's Mai Tai. What are you doing with that? Are you carrot top? Mai Tai. What am I? Just props. Props on deck. That was a great pull. Do you go. That's my tie. What are you doing with that? Be Carrot Top? Yeah. My tie. What am I going to do? Just props on deck.

That was a great pool, wasn't it? Do you have one just in case? I feel like we're not giving that enough love for that just to be right there, right then. Like is that just in case business meetings? Yeah, you know, I live a bunch of different lives. And in case I got to form this place up. He has to run his job at the bank after this.

Sorry, Mr. Carruthers. I'm sorry for being late. I like to put it on with my fleece from time to time. It is jarring though to realize now that TV shows about the 90s and the 2000s, those are period pieces. Dude, it's more than 25 years ago at this point. Like the year 2000 was 25 years ago. But, but Tony, going back to MMA. So like you're saying back in the day, it was, it was, as Billy described it, this guy knows kung fu,

or this guy is a boxer. Essentially when the UFC came together, it was like, all right, we have all these different guys from all these different disciplines, right? This guy's a kickboxer, this guy's a boxer, this guy knows jujitsu, well, it's Gracie's, they knew jujitsu, nobody else really knew it. This guy's a wrestler.

People would wear shoes in the octagon. Like if you were a wrestler, you'd have wrestling shoes on. They would try to wrestle a guy. There also weren't weight classes at the beginning, right? wrestler, you'd have like wrestling shoes on. And like try to like wrestle a guy. There also weren't weight classes at the beginning, right? So like you'd have like a little tiny guy fighting like a massive man. It'd be like Hoist Gracie fighting somebody who was like 250 pounds,

and then he'd get him in the ground in two seconds, put him in a camorra and it was over. So it was like Rocky III, where Rocky fights Thunder Lips, right? Basically. Wow. Does that not sound more interesting? It kinda does.

It was great. I would watch that. was amazing everyone was crazy now Everyone is kind of versed in a lot of different have to be versed in almost every discipline to be able to compete at a high Level you have to have grappling you have to have ground game. You have to have stand-up On the writing woke speaking of UFC across the street tomorrow What's UFC 314 and then we'll have the MMA hangout live at Casa Tiki Presented by Cuervo 10 p.m. Saturday night Casa Tiki for UFC 314 a banger the boys will be there They will be buzzed and said he was gonna go and take his pants off

Remember Dan said he might go and then if he does go he may take his pants off. That's a lot of It's a lot, but you know how Danny's is very like caveat Oh, I got a thing but I could come through and I'll take my pants off. No, of course not. He never has a thing, right? But the thing is, he might go to the fight. Because the last time the fight was here, I saw him at the fight. So it was like, hmm.

If he takes his pants off, there might be a thing. Oh. Our silent strike didn't go so well, Billy, huh? Sorry about that. Well, you guys had a strike? They wanted to rawdog the show back here. Well, no. Who would rawdog it longest? Well, Chris brought it up and. They wanted to raw dog the show back here. Well, no.

Who would raw dog it longest? Chris brought it up and then immediately started. I brought it up, but then you were like, anyone know Andy? And I'm like, I got to be a good teammate. We wanted to do a thing where we saw who could not talk the longest. No, hold on a second. So this is what happened.

The music starts and Chris goes, you think I could raw dog this? And we're all like, what does that mean? And he's like, you think I could go the entire show without talking? And then we immediately were like, you want to play a quiet game and see who can go the longest without saying anything? And obviously we immediately were like, you wanna play a quiet game and see who can go the longest without saying anything? And obviously Roy's here, we knew we were gonna lose.

But it was kind of embarrassing how quickly we all lost. Like Tony, I think seven seconds in was like, I know him! And then Chris jumped in and then Jess jumped in. And I'm like, well I guess. Because you guys brought up the 2003 topic, we couldn't help ourselves. That's great hosting by me, out the gate.

I didn't even know he was leading with that. I just randomly said a name because of my fun CTE and then he just jumps into the show. How are you gonna stay quiet or something like that? You know when Andy Milonakis was ruined for me, so there was the rumors out there, this is a grown ass man. This is kind of a weird situation

and you're like, oh, I guess, right? But not everybody knew at the time that he was a full blown adult. And then he was on Jimmy Kimmel, but they were doing this bit with him where he was outside, it must have been around Christmas time, because he was outside in this wrapped box,

and there would be people walking by and you could ask questions, and if you guessed who the celebrity was inside the box, you won some sort of big prize, right? But you didn't know who it was, so they asked, are you male, are you female, how old are you, whatever. And one of the things was, are you an adult? And he's like, no.

And Jimmy's like, yes, yes you are. And then when they revealed Annie Milanox, I'm like, okay, well Jimmy just has now ruined the illusion for everyone for the integrity of this stupid game that no one cares about. That's how you found out? No, I knew the rumblings out there,

but then when Jimmy confirmed it. I was like well Thanks, Jimmy for ruining this for me. He wasn't that old though. I'm doing the math. He's 49 now He was in his 20s at the time, but he looked like he was 12 damn That's 50 looked like he was 15, and he was 25. I don't know did he really have this disease I mean look at him now Look at him now. He doesn't. He had like a hormone deficiency. I was on Wikipedia.

He looked positive. I just seemed like a guy that looked young. Instead of faking that he was a child, do you think he was faking of having a disease that made him look like a child? I just think he's not that much older than he looked. Like he, at the time. I don't think I ever thought he was a child.

He was like 28, 27. He looked like he was 12. Yeah, he was acting like 11, so it was kinda weird. To me, he was acting like he was 18, and he was in his 20s. My biggest gripe was that his raps were bad, and people acted like he could rap. I didn't appreciate that more than anything.

That's just why people like him. His rhymes are weak. But I think it's because he was a kid, so for a kid, you're like, oh, okay. You know how your kid, you go and you do things in kid, you're like, oh, you're so good, and it's like, you're really not, I'm better than that. But you can't tell that to a kid.

You're right, and he's 32, and it was really like, come on, bro. Well, now, if he was 32, no one would've thought it was good, if it was a 10, you's like, really not, I'm better than that. But you can't tell that to a kid. You're right, Andy's 32 and it was really like, come on. Well now, if he was 32, no one would've thought it was good. If it was like, a 10, you're like, oh wow, that's so cute, you're gonna be the next Eminem. And it's like, I'm better than you at rapping, Andy. I'll kill you in the back, bro. I'll tell you exactly what it is. It's that white people don't really know

what rap sounds like, and so when it hits their ears, it's like, oh, that's pretty good. It's the same reason why they their ears, it's like, oh, that's pretty good. It's the same reason why they love Hamilton. It's like, oh, that's so awesome, he's rapping. I'm like, that's not rap. Ain't nobody rapping and clapping and tapping and sapping and bapping and napping and napping and rapping and capping. No one does that.

Dr. Seuss does that. Dr. Seuss has been spitting hot rhymes. Different time. Since the beginning. Speaking of rapping and speaking of the early 2000s. You think Dr. Seuss was like the first Hamilton, like he'd go to like book readings in like 1940 or whatever and he's like, Fox and socks.

And they're like, shit. Hot like pop. Damn, readings changed forever. It blew everyone's mind. One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, me fish, you fish. What? Bar. Damn, who is this doctor?

Seuss is dropping that shit baby. Holy shit, and I have appendicitis thing dog bunkmaster flex dropping the bump New York doctor Zeus what is it doctor? I'm not feeling well. What is it cancer pancer? Really bad dancer like oh, I don't feel that bad anymore Do not like green eggs and ham. Sam, I am. Folks, you know sometimes the smallest step can make the big difference in your financial future. Whether it's cutting out fees, building better habits, or just getting support when you need it,

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Go to shopify.com slash buttard. shopify.com slash buttard. Don LeBattard. I got a Slater scoop. Stugats. He f***ed us. This is the Don LeBatt Slater scoop. Stugats. He f***ed us. This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats. So last weekend I was at Dreamville Festival and...

Look at me, Louie. Did you see the ghost writer? Is that a look at me, Louie? He was at a festival. I was at a festival. I didn't say... What is this festival? He could have just said a festival.

He didn't have to say Dreamville. See, she doesn't know what the festival is. See, doesn't matter. Dreamville festival. Hock, he told at a festival. I was at a festival. I didn't say I didn't Festival you know what the festival is see doesn't matter Hockey told us a couple months ago that Jay Cole has a ghostwriter, but wouldn't elaborate I did not say that you definitely said it not so bomb dropped They're not that is how many black people were on that show cuz I felt like that would have been More pushed on a lot harder had it been last week's shows. No, no, don't follow this path. I did not say that. Let's not do that. You're not gonna drop the J. Cole as a ghost ride

with me on the show. I didn't drop that. And we're not gonna elaborate. I tried to press him on it and he wouldn't clarify the comment. What was the comment? Do we have, let's get this. We're not going down that path.

We're not going down that path. I just wanna hear what you said. I have a different story to tell. I believe it was an analogy. I have a story to tell that has nothing to do with a show from two months ago. Dan accused LeBron of taking PEDs. Let's look forward rather than looking backwards. He said LeBron did PEDs and that's like saying J. Cole is a ghostwriter. Like what? Reel it in. What? That's a weird way for your brain to immediately go to. Tell us about what happened at Dreamville. So Dreamville Fest. So you're at Dreamville, you're writing rhymes for J. Cole. Go ahead.

I thought you said Greenville, like South Carolina. No, but it was in Raleigh, North Carolina, so not far. Okay, so what is this festival? So it's a music festival, and there's a lot of great musical acts, including we had the reunion of Hot Boys and Big Timers and Lil Wayne, and let me tell you something, all the rumors that Lil Wayne doesn't remember his lyrics

and his bad life, he killed all, that dude went to mini camp or some shit because he was on fire. It was one of the best sets I've ever seen. But the problem with Dreamville Fest, it's in this massive park, and I don't know if this is true of all festivals because I don't really go to music festivals,

but cell service is awful every single time. There's just too many phones in too small of an area. The towers can't handle it. So you got a lot of texts coming back, green bubbles, a lot of call fails, whatever. Yeah, no Ubers. So, well, there are Ubers, but it's just 20 minute waits, whatever.

So my cousin came up with the brilliant idea. You're gonna drop it on air. Bringing radios. Like walkie talkies. Had them clipped, walking around, everyone thought I was working festival. They were like, oh, can you this appointment? I like hold on we had a 1745 here. I was just throwing out numbers I had so much fun

But the thing that reminded me of which also I was reminded from that magazine for 25 years ago Mm-hmm, you guys remember the chirp next tell Man my chirp was live. Why don't we have chirp anymore? What's the chirp? Oh my goodness when you say it like that it sounds like a nested When you describe it like the chirp like yeah, I had to chirp back in oh, too. It was a crazy summer He's a cream so so Next cell was this company that got bought by sprint which, which got bought by T-Mobile, right?

Nextel's claim to fame, what was made mostly for construction workers and people like in that sort of industry, was your phone also had, beyond it just being a regular phone, also had like a walkie talkie function. So you could hit that side button, Jessica, and it would chirp, and you could chirp these fools.

Shout out to DCJ. It only worked if you had Nextel on the other side. Yeah Yeah the other person had to have the same. Like BBM basically. They had to have the same type of phone. I feel like the government did away with it but go ahead. No I feel like probably infidelity did away with it because people were getting chirped like who's that chirping you? I'm like ahh. In today's day and age you think infidelity is doing away with with great inventions? Yes. I think inventions are just happening to cause more infidelity. That's what away with great inventions? Yes. I think inventions are just happening to cause more infidelity.

That's what I'm saying. Get away with it better. The reason why I think the government did away with it, because imagine that function now, because it's communication that is completely off the grid. But you couldn't tap into a chirp, because it was just straight up, like, over, walkie talkie. You have to say over, you're right.

And you gotta say 10-4, and you gotta say copy. Roger. You gotta drive a Mack truck. What's Your 20 was a big one this weekend. What's Your 20? And the funny thing was sometimes our channels would get crossed with actual people working. And so I'd hear, hey, let's go backstage for Ludacris.

Like, copy, I'm on my way. I was gonna ask you if that was happening, if you were crossing signals. Because before concerts like that, everyone has to do radio interference. Yes, yes, we picked a channel at random. We're like, we're channel nine today. And of course, channel nine with someone else.

And the funny thing was, and this is a dick move by me, every time someone chirped on the radio, I had to answer. No matter what it was. Just reflex. We're by the medical tent. We have anything like, copy them on my way. I just see it. I just, just saying. I asked you a question.

I didn't ask you to come. Negative, I don't have sites on that right now. I'll get back to you. Just a whole bunch of- That was probably a great conversation started too. Through with the radio? Oh my God, man. That was a God.

So it was a push to talk function. Push to talk. Did you just look that up? Cause it was called push to talk. I am, I'm trying to look why why it got why they got rid of it It seems like it was just a specific type of software that was expensive to like maintain our hardware I got on those many great but I'm not gonna lie I was in college right when it was like edits boom when hip-hop got a hold of it

It was like, you know all the the rapping the drug dealing rappers was talking about it in the song So you had to have when you click you clipped it on your person. It wasn't like, you had to show it. I got pictures of me, my long white tee, tucked. Tucked, like a pager? You had to tuck it, yes. Of the NexTale pager. Yeah, you had to show that you were.

No, we was out here like Batman. Colors. We was out here like Batman in the early 2000s. Your belt was all bunch of, cause if you had multiple devices, right, you had the two-way, right, you had the two-way right here, then you had the Nexel Chirp, and then... You had the sidekick.

Did you have a sidekick? Of course, who didn't have a sidekick? Who didn't have a sidekick? These are like early technological advancements that the hip-hop community really got behind. The issue was that we were a singular family, so we didn't have T-Mobile, So T-Mobile was that next level. I had like this little tiny phone, like this big.

It wasn't even the Nokia. So singular had a sidekick kind of. It was fugazio. It was super fugazio, you know how I know? Because I had it. I was that dude trying to tell people, it's just as good. What was your first cell phone, Jessica? Because at the time, you could only

get certain phones based on who the provider was. You couldn't just get, like if I wanted a sidekick but I had Sprint, guess what? You're not getting a sidekick. Yes. If you wanted a Razr, you couldn't get a Razr unless you had like some other AT&T or something.

The Razr was the coolest thing I ever bought. The pink Razr, like the kids that had the pink Razr they were so cool. I had one of those like brick phones and the first cell phone I ever had. I, my parents were like, this is for emergencies, whatever, I think I was in like sixth or seventh grade. And at one point I lost my phone.

Could not find it anywhere for months. And my parents were so mad at me. They were like, how did you lose this phone? I was like, I don't know. The last place I saw it was in my bedroom and then it was gone. And then six months later, I was trying on clothes for like spring break and tried on one of my summer

sundresses and the phone was in the pocket. And it was in my closet the whole time. But since we lived in Chicago, I just never touched any of my summer clothes for like six months. And I was so mad. Yeah, it was. What was your first phone, Hawk? It was like the Motorola TI9 or something.

It was like pre-raiser. Okay, I might be the oldest person here cuz This is the only hint I'll give you. This is what my phone sounded like It was it was the Motorola StarTac, and it was the coolest phone in the world. Oh yeah, you are right. The Motorola StarTac, if you had a StarTac, you were like, all right, you're either loaded,

or what are you really into? Oh my God, Google this phone, look at what this looks like, this is horrific. Motorola StarTac. Amazing, amazing. That's early, bro. Back in the day though, that thing was fire probably. Dude, you open that thing up and you flip it open.

Look at the bat, you have to pop the battery off of the top of it and then you have to go charge the battery and then put it back on. By the way, that's, you want to talk about technology moving backwards. I miss the days where you could charge your battery somewhere else and then, oh, my phone's dying. Guess what?

Boop, boop, now we're back. Reload the clip. Reload the clip. That was a time. Oh man, I had so many early Motorola phones. But also to your point about having a different phone provider, you just get two. That was the thing.

I had the same phone number. Moneybags over here. Just get two, he said. I got it next to hell just for the chirp, period. I didn't even have the phone. I don't even know the phone worked. Yeah. You activate the chirp service.

You just used it to chirp? I had just a chirp line and then my regular cell phone. That's amazing. My cell phone usage was so infrequent though, early in those days. I just didn't have a phone for like five months and I was like, well, I don't have a phone. But now if I lost my phone for five months,

like I can't fathom. I mean, that's when you had like minutes and texting costs like 50 cents a minute. Yeah. No, it no nights and weekends, baby Yeah, for seven p.m. Or was it nine p.m. It was nine at first and then they eventually evolved to seven. Mm-hmm Oh what a time we should go back to a minutes plan Think well, I mean like nobody talks on the phone uses minutes. Yeah, I do. Yeah You talking phone a lot. Yeah, why because I like talking to people

I mean in this world now where we should limit our cell phone use we all use it way too much We should go back to minutes like for the opposite for screen time not for talking on the phone Like I should only have like one hour of phone screen time a day. I need that unlimited greet I found my phone. It was the Motorola t720. Oh I remember that one that was one of the early phones where you could still see the screen even with the keyboard. Yeah, a little caller ID on the front phone. I had that phone. Yeah.

And some of them were like different colors too. I think that's when you started changing. That's when you got to change them. I changed my front to a red and it was like, ooh. Mine was like a blue. My senior football photo, I'm hurt, but I'm out there with that phone on my hip with my jersey tucked in it so the world can see.

Your boy is mobile. I don't know if y'all been paying attention to the trends. You wore it on the sideline? Make no mistake, I was hurt. So I had like jeans on, and my jersey, and cornrows. It's the most 2002 photo that you'll ever find on Earth. This is also probably one of the first ones with like a color screen.

Yeah. The more like when you have the Nokia's it's like black and white Snake went hard But this took it to a different level Yeah, I'm like check the pixels my boy You see those ringtones I downloaded? Don't get me started on those ringtones I cost my parents a pretty penny

What like $12? No, it was like $12 a song It was crazy It was wild It was I won't crank that soldier boys marrying tone It was keeping the music industry $9, but it was it was seconds of crank that so it wasn't $15 like five seconds you didn't really want but it was like close enough But also it wasn't it wasn't actually it was part of the song. It wasn't actually the song It was like a keyboard rendition of the song. So

of the song. It wasn't actually the song. It was like a keyboard rendition of the song. So, doon, doon, doon, doon. Like someone played on a xylophone. It was the keyboard cat, but Soulja Boy. Yes, Soulja Boy. Like 13 bucks. Meow, meow.

The album was $12. You just paid $13.99 for a keyboard rendition of four bad seconds of Prank That Soulja Boy. Was it really that expensive? I don't remember it costing that much money. There was commercials on TV where it'd be like, oh, download the ringtone by texting this number. And then you're like, oh, that's it?

It's $8. That's like $25. It's like downloading an app that's like $55. You're like, wait, what did I do? Jessica, you know how there are artists now who get broken through TikTok somehow their song. Back then, it was the ringtone people. They call them ringtone rappers. Their songs were literally just made to be ringtones and

That's why soldier boy is a thing. I think my phone I think he owned the licensing for the ringtones and made like crazy amounts of money He was like the first person to really like execute the virality of his songs through ringtones through the dance through all that kind of stuff Hey guys, are the Knicks gonna lose to the Pistons in the playoffs? Are we still talking about 2003? We're talking about 2025 now. Knicks and Pistons played last night

and the Pistons kinda put it on them. Were the Knicks fully healthy? Well, I'm tired of hearing that one. Genuinely asking. No, I know. I thought Brunson wasn't gonna play, but then he was playing, and then I thought Josh Hart wasn't gonna play. So he was playing and then I thought Josh Hart wasn't gonna play

So what's the story with them? Josh Hart didn't play Rick Jalen. It's not 2000 anymore Jalen Brunson did play And they played poorly he shot five of 15. He only had 15 points, but like to me. There's a scary thing because It's not just oh you lost the game So what it's you're the, and there's a big chance after this weekend that Detroit's gonna be the sixth. They lose all the tiebreakers, and they've gotta play Milwaukee twice

in their last two games. Like, there's a huge chance that the Knicks have to play the Pistons, and the Pistons are kinda like, they're kinda badass. And I think for Cade Cunningham, it was incredible. Jalen Dern is a man among men. And Mal think Beasley's outside looking for six man of the year Yeah, man, six man of the year. I think Pritchard's gonna win it. Beasley's in the conversation Ty Jerome's in the conversation I don't think Ty Jerome's in the conversation because I think he doesn't have minutes

Not enough minutes. Weird stupid rule. Stupid NBA. Get rid of that rule rule get rid of it. It's ridiculous No one nobody like this whole 65 game thing always happens We're getting guys like Jalen Brunson dragging a leg out there because he wants to be qualified for all NBA and all that stuff It's ridiculous, man. The voters know what they're doing because the voters know what they're doing We never vote for people who haven't played enough games. That's never happened It's happened like one time in the history of the NBA was Bill Walton. One too many times.

77 or 78, whenever it was, man. I thought the complaint was that guys aren't playing enough and they're not fighting hard and people are tanking. So isn't that a good thing that people are like trying their hardest to play games? No, no, no, that's not the point. The point is, if when the voters vote, they take into account on their own.

They've never like said, well, he was great, but he only played 40 games, but I'ma vote for him anyway. That never happens. So we didn't have a problem from a voting perspective. But what it does now is it forces guys who aren't healthy, like Tyrese Haliburton last year, like Gillian Brunson this year,

to say, oh man, like I can't sit outton last year, like Gillen Brunson this year, to say, oh man, I can't sit out, I gotta be eligible for all these other things, and so they go out there and they force themselves to play when they really shouldn't. It's not forcing healthy guys to play. This is hard, this is hard for a football guy to hear what you're saying for it to make sense.

They force themselves to go play when they're not, I'm 40, I'm still not 100% from football injuries. So I don't, I'm being honest, it does not conceptually. You just told me, like I walked up the stairs today, and oh my God, everything hurt, like you think that's a good thing? It was entertaining, did you not love it? It was, I had to hawk on my fancy time.

The gladiator sport. I mean, PJ Talker played 30 minutes last night. Okay. Just saying. Don't put me in the position of defending. but you kind of are because you're the OG was out Oh, gee was out Josh Hart was out Mitchell Robinson was out Okay, but however however. Yes, the Pistons are Spicy right now spicy. Yeah, they're a spicy lot and I tell you I don't know

I don't know if I want to see them Tony you got me a top five guys I don't teams. I don't want to see in the playoffs who I could I could you I do I do have a little bit of secret sauce around the NBA by the way, but what's the preacher Ty Jerome? Ty Jerome's not one of y'all. Oh, he's one of us 50-50 I say hard style Ty Jerome 50-50 No, no, hey, no splits around here 50-50 boy used to not split no splits They're over here. What is the comp NFL comp for six man of the year? Is there one no comeback player of the year would that be like the closest no?

No, you guys just don't have it clutch. You know why because you guys don't have a clutch You want you want to do what are you talking about? I want to do since you want to do sport comparisons You know why you guys don't have a six man near? Everything is specialized in your sport. I only play offense, hold on. You want me to actually play defense too? That's someone else's job.

75% of the NBA superstars say the same exact thing. I just throw the ball. I don't catch it, I don't run it, I just throw it. That's all I do. How is the NBA any different? I just shoot. No. There's so many only offensive players in the NBA any different? I just shoot. No. I only, there's so many only offensive players

in the NBA. I only shoot corner threes. I just literally shoot corner threes. I only play in the paint. That's close. I only play defense. Hey, hey, hey, let me throw it to that guy, Kent. Why not, against the rules, throw it to that guy. What?

Well, he's not eligible. What do you mean he's not eligible? He's playing in the game. Yeah, okay, you can play defense. Don't play defense in this part of the court for too long. That's illegal. Don't, no, what are you standing there for for't play defense in this part of the court for too long. That's illegal Don't know what what are you standing there for for three seconds move to that side then come back that makes way more So wait you move too fast you move too fast. Hold on. We got started over relax, bro little do it little Wayne sold five million ringtones of lollipop and

T-Pain made fit T-Pain for sure one of his million dollars on I'm in Love with a Stripper and Buy You a Drink. Soulja Boy made $7 million from Crank That. Oh my gosh. Bum, bum, bum. The wild thing about the T-Pain thing is like, you're buying I'm in Love with a Stripper presumably for the person that you're with,

which is so fucking disrespectful, to be honest. Not today's day. Billy, surprisingly. See, 20 years later, I'm in love with this stripper, probably has the best context it ever has. I'm in love with the sex workers, actually what it's called. Billy, the thing was, it didn't even matter

who the ringtone was for, cause you didn't have customizers. Well you could. You could if you had money bags. Yeah. If you were money bags. But for most people, I got enough money for one ringtone, and this defines me

Well at this point in time so when Lil Wayne sold five million it was 2.99 each so 2.99 you can like You're special. Maybe you have your own ringtone Yeah, I mean also like it wasn't so much about like the songs having meaning all the time It was like this is the this is the hottest song right now when this rings I want everyone to know how in the know I I have 299 I just splurged on this song just because I like it you guys remember I don't like it I don't even like it that much you guys remember ring backs was that like someone would call you and you would hear there That's still a great invention. That should still be not their song. It would be like you would call

So I I'm calling Jessica just got the ring back Instead of hearing I would hear I'm a Jessica, Jessica had the ring back. Instead of hearing, brrrrr, I would hear. I'ma buy you a drink. Yeah. Whee! And you'd be like jamming, it's almost like hold music. I think you're home with me. Look at Chris's wiskily remembering.

This brings me back. Tell you what you think about that. I had songs for like my parents. So like you know, you hear one ringtone, you're like oh no. What'd you have for your parents? I don't remember the specifics. I had one for the girlfriend, had one for the friend. Yeah! I remember that for sure. That was a splurge. If you were wild, like one of the parents would're like, oh no. What'd you have for your parents? I don't remember the specifics. I had one for the girlfriend, had one for the friend.

Yeah, that was a splurge. If you were wild, one of the parents would be like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. The Undertaker? And they're never with you when they call, so they never know that you have the bad tones for them. The law and order theme. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

I had that one, I think. Ringbacks is still a great invention and it should still be a thing today. Wait, why did they stop? I don't know. Licensing fees probably, right? Yeah, probably. But they're making so much money on them.

I don't know why the music industry, like those are the ways that the music industry can revitalize. Now everything is streaming, music is free. Like nobody actually makes any money in it. Bring ringbacks back, man. Remember when people were like, I'm not gonna put my music on Spotify,

and they're like, okay, cool, no one's gonna listen to your music. Jay-Z, I'm gonna create my own streaming. What happened to that? I mean, it's still there, but it's not what it was. When they started, they were like, it's gonna be ultra premium, and so it's gonna cost a lot of money per month,

but people are gonna pay for it because of the high fidelity. And I'm like, you dumbass, you think people out here are like, I need it to be at least a certain level of quality. No one gives a shit that just- I think Jay-Z made an incredible amount of money off a title. Yeah, because he scammed someone else. I think he sold it to Jack Dorsey, who created Twitter.

If I'm not mistaken, like, he made a crazy amount of money. Is this reckless speculation? I love how with Jay-Z. You'll just take them out They call you're like everyone. We're moving on from this Because we all know today we all pay attention to the ghost writing accusations I put out there a couple months ago. We did the top. I have not dispelled. We did the topic we moved Oh, he's a dumbass Like sales are streaming service for $100 million to a billionaire.

Did he? I'm pretty sure. Google it. I'm pretty sure he made a ton of money on it. Find out. That's your homework now. Okay, I'm on it. See, this is how football players like it.

They like homework. Give me direction. It was $302 million. It was $302 million. He sold titles to Jack Dorsey. What an idiot, am I right? It's okay, so Jack Dorsey's a bigger dumbass What an idiot that he made out pretty good during the Twitter sale. I think yeah, no

No, it's Jack Dorsey no jay's $44 billion Jack Dorsey's a dumbass Jack Dorsey's worth 3.3 billion dollars Guess who's a bigger dumbass poor guy. He's on Elon Musk It's he it's a chain of dumb right? Like I sold my bullshit thing to him and he sold his bullshit thing to that guy and that guy sent his bullshit thing to America. I do spiritually agree with that. Get me to that level of dumbass, please. I'd love to be that.

I would love to be that. I'd love to graduate past the next tail and ring back purchaser dumbass. Get me to the level where I'm a dumbass because I sold my knockoff Spotify for $300 million. You guys are dumbass to get me to the level making I'm a dumbass because I sold my knockoff Spotify for 300 million You guys are driving me to places. I'm sure you don't want me to go to but guess what we're here now guys Dominique Foxworth thought they were great until he sat across from the table and let me realize they're just like us These guys aren't brilliant business, man. They're just regular dumbasses

What you're missing is I don't give a crap if they respect me or not as long as I sell my product to them for 300 million dollars and you know what that kind of dumbass makes you a genius that is the how this works thank you in the universe yeah when you lean into your dumbass to make a bunch of money I want to be the dumbass that put a banana on a wall with duct tape and sold that for like a million dollars that's that's what I want to be I don't think you're that far off. Thank you, I think. I don't know what that is.

So Tony thought Tyrone was white, huh? 50-50. His name's Ty. He could stop there. Tyrone. He should be Tyler. Could be Tyrone or Tyler. You never know.

Thank you. I do have those five teams that are spicy. Nice. What do we got? Are there any OLIs? No OLIs. Because the teams that you see that are spicy, you know are good. There's some teams that are a little under the radar that

could figure into the spicy list. Do we have the sound effects ready? Number five, the Denver Nuggets. I'll tell you why they're spicy. Obviously, no Calvin Booth, no Michael Malone. You still have the best player in the world, though. How is that going to figure out? You got Adelman, right?

Trying to- Coaching with a white pad. Coaching with a legal pad. You know, just next level, okay? They're still good enough to make a run. The problem is, is their coaching gonna stop them? Adelman's a lifer, though. He is, he is.

All right, number four. Number four, the Warriors. I feel like they shouldn't be on this list, man. If you're looking down at the playing teams, right? Right. Eastern Conference, Orlando, Atlanta, Chicago, Miami. None. None, no.

If you're looking at the Western Conference teams, Memphis, Minnesota, Sacramento, Dallas, we can knock off a couple of those. The Warriors, depending on where seeding and all that stuff happens, could be a playing team back into the plan and Then fight through and try to make it spicy I still feel like they're just too established to be one of the like they're not in the in the same vein as like Denver that had like this massive thing that makes us takes it take them out of equation or Detroit or new to the to the game

right number three the Clippers If they can get everything working together. Kauai's healthy. Kauai's been playing well. I had an NBA player tell me that the Clippers are going to go to the finals. Really?

He said if Kauai's healthy, they're going to the finals. It was Kauai. It wasn't Kauai. It was an NBA player who does not play. The player was on the Clippers, but. Zubats has been incredible this year, by the way, too. Most improved. Really?

I think so. He's got your vote? He's got my vote. Wow. Campa Wow campaigning number two the Pistons I don't think it even the East wants to see the Pistons right like Milwaukee no Dame that's kind of iffy I feel like Indiana's up and down all the time the Knicks are the Knicks are hurt yeah Yeah. I could see it. I could see it. I like them. Number one, the Lakers. There you go.

Spicy. They're a spicy team. Small, but spicy. No Dallas Mavericks, huh? No, Mavericks. That's spicy. Folks, listen up. They're here and they're hot.

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