The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Out To Lunch (feat. Rusty Bueno)
Episode Date: November 25, 2025"You confused sports owners. I get it." Dan, Zas, and the Corporate Time-Stealing Weasels are gushing over the Miami Heat, the ascension of Kel'el Ware and the return of Tyler Herro. Zas is SO over...whelmed that he wants to redraft the 2024 NBA Draft and dismisses Tony in approximately 179 different ways. Today's cast: Dan, Zaslow, Chris, Jeremy, Mike, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?
Don't place parlayas on multiple long shots.
Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit,
triple zero.
Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold
That's the rule
Everything else is merely a suggestion
Everything else?
Everything else
Wearing clean underwear every day
Well that's just a personal decision
Brushing your teeth
Obviously smart but not a rule
Never pee on an electric fence
Okay maybe there are two rules
But the one that is 100%
That I insist on completely
Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold
Or don't drink it at all
Damn that's cold
Exactly you're finally starting to get it
Drink responsibly.
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The beloved Jim Manditch once described certain listeners during a different radio age.
He would say of people who listened to the show during the working hours,
that they were corporate times stealing weasels.
And this week, I'm the executive.
of a corporation and i've got on my hands a an assortment of employees who are corporate
time stealing uh weasels because no one's trying this week no one in america is trying at work
this week and chris cody says to me let's just do a thanksgiving show i'll play
thanksgiving sounds from our past oh john gruden hand turkey yeah see the hand turn
random thanksgiving you want to do you want to do no i've got this right there's no
employee in America trying
this week, correct? I mean, I
felt like yesterday was a
creative lift, pal. I tried really
hard. I mean, I typed Thanksgiving into my
computer and I saw what came up. What did you find?
Can you do better than them? Can you do better
than them with your lazy Thanksgiving show
as Mike's talking about what a heavy lift
yesterday was? I mean, Mike
said a great one. John Gruden talking about
a hand turkey. Yeah.
That was your cue. Don't say
it's very important that I
start at the rear first. This is
tail feather gives me speed and precision and it's these mid feathers you got to be careful with
as you go around your Super Bowl ring you know but these middle feathers are the brain of the
outfit and this front feather that points the direction that this hand turkey goes do we forgive
him I forgive him I forgive him James has this thing too and I know now that Jeremy's back in
He's just, so it's going to be likable?
You're just going to do likable now?
Well, this guy seems to have learned the lessons.
It is Thanksgiving.
I love him too.
Like, you learned.
I'm ready for you to come back to your job.
Really?
You guys are doing this with...
What?
We decided it with Mike Tyson.
He learned from the first one, the second one, the third one.
I did my first ever radio show 21 years ago, Thanksgiving.
First ever.
No experience.
Throw me on the air.
You're on the air.
Nobody's listening.
listening on Thanksgiving. We needed someone to do, like, $7.99 a ticket. You're working a holiday
from $9 an hour. I did like five straight hours on Thanksgiving. I had so many trembling
voice sports flashes for me during the holiday shifts at 790. You were doing, Zaslo was doing a
five-hour solo show on Thanksgiving. No, no, no. It's me and Zach Krantz. Head coach Jack Martin says
David Booth should be good to go. Puck drop at the NCRC's at 730.
Zaslo, you worked five straight hours on Thanksgiving Day, no holiday.
How much were you making an hour?
I was on salary, but my salary was so pathetic.
You want to guess what my first year's salary was?
$7 an hour?
Let's remember, Stugats was the one who, you know, he paid me.
28,000.
That's exactly right.
Wow.
How'd you know that?
I just guessed.
As an on-air host?
That's an unbelievable guest.
Well, no, I wasn't an on-air host.
No, he was just a hand.
Yeah.
He was like a producer.
28,000.
Occasional flash anchor and then occasional weekend talent.
Yeah.
That's a going rate around like 2006 for Jonathan Zaslow.
I feel like that's what I started at ESPN.
Facts.
This is the Dan Levator show with the Stucats podcast.
So the two-time defending.
Champion Panthers win eight to three on the road.
And it's the second story tonight because the team in sports locally that has been a tribute to organizational stability in this market over this century has announced that they've got that feeling that was around the initial Hassan White side where, oh, the heat have a freak too now.
heat have an athletic freak now too who is very young and ridiculously athletic and it's like watching
easier alley-oops to bam when he's around the basket because the heat have a bona fide big man star
in that sport where you're like oh shit that's athletic that's more athletic than almost anything i'm
watching to have both of those things happen on the same night to have mike ryan still yelling and
howling at the sky at anything university
of Miami related and to have Chris Cody
wander in here and say, do you want Booger
McFarlane talking about Thanksgiving? And I'm
like, yeah, I do actually. Hey, happy
Thanksgiving, buddy. I'm going home to Tampa and I'm looking
for some dressing and some ham because Boog
don't do turkey, baby.
What else do you have
from your lazy Thanksgiving file?
That's not lazy. Okay, he's doing a tough job.
He has to run a search. Come on, man.
I have Bill Belichick talking about his favorite side dishes.
Other than football, what's your favorite Thanksgiving
side dish?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, pretty much everything.
There's not much food that I don't like, so.
Are you a cook?
Like, could we start with dessert?
But got to leave room for everything else.
So, yeah.
It's great.
It's a great holiday.
It's great holiday.
Football, family, and football.
I mean, football, family, and food.
So, yeah, sign me up.
He forgot the family party.
Football, family, and football.
Yeah, he meant to say football and football and football.
What else do you have from your Thanksgiving file of lazy work
because you, like everyone else in America, isn't actually working this week?
I have Reese Davis reading it looks like submission for us.
Greg Williams looks like your divorced uncle who brings a call girl to Thanksgiving.
I don't think we're calling them call girls anymore.
Of a time, Dan. Of a time. Relax.
Reese Davis must really regret that.
I don't know how we got any of that sound.
That all seems like ESPN sound.
None of that sounds seems like it's ours.
We got that in the negotiations.
We got that as part of our library.
What else do you have from our majestic Thanksgiving file?
I have a former commander's owner, Daniel Snyder, wishing everyone a happy Thanksgiving.
First off, happy Thanksgiving to everybody.
All right, so that's sad.
It's a little lazy.
Okay, I admit.
I was really worried with like the setup and the former team name.
I'm like, Chris, crass, crass, crass.
You heard the silence?
Where's you going?
It took me a second to five commanders.
It's like Will Chamberlain.
It's like, it's in there somewhere.
Somebody get me the right name.
I have Les Miles talking about a favorite part of Thanksgiving.
We can get to that later.
Can't tell the story of Thanksgiving without them.
And I don't mean the commanders.
Call girl.
Like, we're not doing it for real.
It's Greg Williams.
If I made a list of people, I would at least would want to say that.
Look, I think my father calls them ladies of the night,
or I think he graduated at his tawdreous to Streetwalker.
but call girl like that seems like that was out of style i don't call girl was like two generations
ago on like it's not okay to say that anymore that's not what we're calling ladies of the night
i think it's the most respectful way yeah do you have less miles there talking about thanksgiving
i am the easiest man to please when it comes to food um i i have to be honest i think it's a
I think it's definitely the turkey with a warm gravy.
Maybe it's the last spoon or fork of food on the plate that has a little bit of salt and pepper
and maybe a little bit of the turkey and gravy and some of the stuffing that would be there
and maybe just a smidgen of that cranberry stuff, right?
Not like a big, that kind of overwhelm the last bite.
but that right there
oh my goodness right
it lasts bites worth a lot
I might add that
the turkey sandwich with mayonnaise
mustard onions and a little salad
a little lettuce
kind of makes for good eating later too
doesn't it? Now while he makes a
tremendous point
not ready to forgive him
I was just about to forgive him I was about
to be ready for champion less miles to get back in the LSU
hunt because that one's interesting
I want to get to Lane Kiffin later in the show
but let's bypass the Panthers for a moment and just celebrate what seems to be a Miami Heat team that's going to be relevant all year.
They've won five straight.
Now, you might want to pay attention to Detroit once 13 straight.
Like, they've lost twice, and Detroit is really good, but Miami is going to try with style of play with, I dare say, revolutionary style of play in terms of what they're trying to do pace-wise.
No, it is because they are on pace right now to set an NBA record for fewest ball screens in league history.
Can you settle a little mystery that I've had with you since yesterday?
You texted me yesterday, you have a good team.
And then 20 minutes later, I didn't respond to it.
You're like, oh, I'm sorry, that text wasn't for you.
I was like, there's no way this guy's talking about the cyclones.
Who was that for, someone with the heat?
Because they have a good team.
It was meant for Mickey Harrison.
Yes, and Mike Ryan and McIerson are like an alpha.
So you confuse sports owners.
I get it.
Yeah.
Your cyclones, well, your cyclones also are...
Your cyclones, representative standard bearers in the market, more first places than not during their tenure.
Well, you know, we don't need to get into it.
A bit of a dry spell for the cyclones.
But we are the top seed with two weeks left to go in the season.
But damn, we have a Bueno predicament.
Bueno's been out all year.
He just came back, and we're starting playoffs now.
We've been cooking without him all year.
But we have to work him back into the rotation,
and a lot of fron tonne rust on Bueno last game.
Now, the league has come down and made a ruling.
Robin's been such a great replacement for us.
They said Robin gets half the playoff matches,
and Bueno gets half the playoff matches,
which is great if Buono is in form.
But if we're dealing with Rusty Bueno, Dan,
we have a good thing going here.
It's kind of like Tom Brady and Drew Bledso.
I was going to say it's kind of like Tyler Hero
except we learned Tyler Hero is still awesome
and the heater are going to be better with him.
We learned nothing about Tyler Hero.
He fits the office.
How can you say that?
That was like the worst offensive performance of the season.
Yeah, how about Simone Fontechio make a shot?
They were five of 27 from three.
Like it had nothing to do with Tyler Hero.
No, Tyler Hero, I looked at the box score.
I didn't watch the game.
But Tyler Hero seems to have a sweeping judge.
He seemed to have had a good game.
But I also looked at the box score and I'm like, wow,
Tyler Hero really fits in nicely.
He helped the team win.
And then I see box score, Norm Powell, zero minutes.
I'm like, that's the one.
Well, but if I can stop you for just a moment because it was fun,
it was fun going between championship excellence on my televisions because I wasn't watching two games at once.
I was toggling between them.
And so I'm watching the Panthers throttle.
What a team.
Throttle Nashville, score eight goals against Nashville.
And I'm watching that.
But I'm also watching what.
has been the standard bearer for sports in this market over 25 years, took the city away from
the Dolphins. I'm watching this science lab across the street over here that we all know
to be like a bit of a military school for we will sharpen the 10 best players into something
and try and change the sport once we get out from what this Jimmy thing was. What you saw
from Tyler Hero last night that is most encouraging is the game's going to be made very easy
for him this way if you're going to open up the floor that way and have him just be super
efficient mid-range when he's when he's just doing he's killing you in the mid-range now they
missed a million shots last night like that that Dallas they were playing the third time in four
nights Dallas stinks it's like zero zero like midway through the first quarter Dallas stinks
wasn't in eight like eight minutes without a basket all team started like oh for six he were
oh for like three I think it was one for 14 combined at one point let's not get lost in the
minutia of the following. Okay, yes, you could have lost last night. Clay could have taken the
three or not passed it up, or you could have lost. You should have lost. You threw the game away
at the end, and Dallas just missed those shots at the end, and it would have been a really bad loss
at home. But macro on what we're talking about here, they're going after this season with a
pace that doesn't have a precedent that numerically you will see the time spent in the
half court. When they run on you, they will wear you down in the fourth quarter.
and they have at the center of it in Kalil Ware what appears to be a bit of an extraterrestrial.
Like this is Hassan Whiteside if you can sharpen it in the new age of like, oh shit, that's going to block, that's going to wipe glass, that's going to make threes, that's going to dunk on you with easy lobs.
Isn't it all so important to remember, though, like when we were seeing these kind of numbers from Hassan Whiteside, A, Hassan wasn't shooting threes, Kellower is doing that.
But also, when Hassan got to the heat, he was like 26 years.
years old. Yeah. And Kella wears, what, 20? So that's probably a major difference. Well, this is a bit
of a spaceship is what I'm saying, because it's, I thought Hassan was almost 29. I thought,
but spaceship is a good word. Where's 21? When you consider they're both a bit.
Dubbed to be astronauts. Let's just put that kind like, okay, but so, so fine. Don't forget,
like you've had some of that, like, suppose called wear out publicly. Like, this guy needs to
learn how to be a pro. And look how he's responded. So far, so good. I'll do it. I'll do it. No one
wants to do it. I'm going to look back at Riley, Pat. Jeremy, I'm sorry. Thank you.
We're sorry. We've doubted this guy for a couple of years. We wanted to get rid of,
we wanted Kevin Durr, get rid of where, get Kevin Durrell. Like, Jeremy, I see what you guys
saw. I'm sorry. Thank you. Kevin Durant would look nice in this offense. I know he's
dealing with something right now. No, no. You don't think so? For real, I'll give him Yovitch.
No, it would smother the usage rate. Like it would, look, I, I'm kind of startled to see this
part of it, right? Because I've told you before. We can concede, right? Hold on. Hold on. Kevin
would smother the usage rate, but Tyler Hero isn't?
That's why I said I'll give him Yovitch.
I'm sorry, I'd much rather have Kevin Durant have Tyler Hero's usage rate in this offense and Tyler Hero.
Look, we can discuss this again if you want, because I know that you would have liked to play an all-or-nothing season on whatever is left of Kevin Durant,
which might be a push in Houston that makes them a good deal better because that's an unstoppable player.
Thank you for opening that door over there.
It was going so well for the Pro Heat guys, but
I seized on this one.
But wait a minute. I want to stop you for a second.
I do want to stop you for a second.
Because can we trust that
the people across the street over here
that they know a little bit
more about the science of
what they're doing than we do?
No. No, they went two seasons
wasting a window. And we
pounded tables for them to do something.
They did something and now
look at them. No, they don't get it.
They threw away the last two seasons.
Stop it.
No, I'm glad that they righted the ship, it would appear,
and they're going to be a feisty little four seed.
That's cool.
They need to continue adding.
That's what this team is.
Just settle down.
You haven't watched the games.
You can't even get it.
You can't even get the chance.
They lose too straight.
They're back in the playing.
Stop it.
Stop it.
You can't even watch the game.
Stop with his victory parade.
Like, you guys accomplished something.
Listen.
You're two games away from being the 10th seed going to Chicago again.
Stop it.
Yes.
Well, Milwaukee's not even the 10 seed right now.
Boston's at the bottom of the conference.
It's 15 games.
You guys sound like losers like you did something.
Listen.
You don't even watch the game.
Well, I'll watch what they're doing something.
No, you won't.
You don't know how to get it.
Chris explained to me like what I do have to do.
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Hey, Chris here.
Black Friday Game Day is coming to Prime, and it'll be an epic day of live sports.
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Black Friday game day tees off with Capital One Skins game at 9 a.m.
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and it culminates with a double dose of
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featuring Bucks at 7 p.m.
and Mavs Lakers at 10 p.m.
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Don Levatard. All these high paid analysts. I don't want to mention names. TNT. ESPM.
You know, oh, yeah, they are dead.
They're not going to make it, you know.
Even if they win in, if they lose it in Miami.
I need to calm you down.
That's right.
They lose in Miami.
They don't got a chance in Boston.
Oh, they are going to have their ass.
You know what in Boston, you know.
Stugats.
They were wrong.
Are they going to lose their job?
No.
Are they going to get a cutting pay?
No.
What are they going to do?
Keep predicting what is the obvious?
They're going to say, oh, the nuggets are going to win.
Oh, they're going to win.
Denver the altitude.
And you know what?
The Heat are going to win at all.
This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats.
You do not and cannot.
I have a block on my screen, top right.
Find the Heat.
We are asking you if you're watching these things,
because this part I think is going to be annoying to Tony and Jeremy if I'm feeling
what they're feeling correctly.
Jeremy is someone who loves the Heat, and Tony is someone who loves basketball.
Just basketball, the art of basketball.
To have you come over and not even be able to find the heat on a channel
so you don't know the enthusiasm that Khalil Ware is actually producing for the fan base.
He was like the leader last night.
Hey, let me be clear.
I know how to find it.
I just don't want to support that regional network.
But Chris is like, oh, you can support Bezos.
I'm like, that's way better.
He seems nice.
He was like the leader last night, Killalware.
He was barking at dudes.
He swat and shot.
into fifth row. I mean, would I like him to swallow the shot like Alonzo used to do and not put
in the fifth row? Fine, but it still gets that emotion out of Cala Ware. And that's what I like
to see right there. I think it's time. We redrafts 2024. Dan, Dan, Dan, Cala Ware should have been
the number one overall pick in last year's drive. I don't know. I'm going to push bash.
You don't have to push back. You don't have to push back. I'm going to save you the time from
looking stupid, okay? Because if you have a seven footer who hits threes and is 20 and 18, that guy is not
the number one overall pick in the draft?
I might take the rookie of the year from that
draft class. I might take the rookie of the year from that draft class.
That draft class, Tony, is hot.
I don't know that guy.
Stefan Castle won the rookie of the year.
He's really good.
He'd probably go number one.
I know what team he plays on, but tell Mike.
That sounds like a 2K name.
He plays for the Spurs.
Zachary Reesachet was number one.
Alex Sor was number two.
He's not real names.
You're making up names.
You're telling me, Kella, where?
You do a redrapped?
He's not the number one overall pick.
He would go number one based on names that I've heard of before.
That seems to be a really bad draft class.
A seven-footer, historically bad.
A seven-footer who gives you 20 and 18 is going number one over six foot six.
Stephen Castle.
Tony, get a clue.
Buddy, if he was good, he would have won rookie the year.
In Zaz's defense, win-share leader and value of a replacement player amongst the careers of that draft class thus far,
Kalawar Leads in both.
Kella Warrior is so much more valuable than Stefan Castle will be.
You're out to lunch.
All right, so I've got...
Hey, lunch is here, buddy.
Right here.
Tony?
Mediterranean.
Me, you later.
Sounded like a sucker.
I do that to you.
You don't do that to me.
We got some of that to bully later.
Tony?
Dan, he called me a sucker.
He never calls me a sucker.
I call him a sucker.
Tony?
Played yourself.
Tony, I don't know what's happening here, but this is what's just happened, okay?
And it has been a crash course in Zaslo, because...
He looked at you and hit you in the face with the dead fish of,
are you high, get a clue, you're out to lunch twice, and then you played yourself.
I just saw him dance on your grave.
He tried to.
With the finest of the Zaslo moves.
Well, what is it, what Adidas he's got on there?
You brought those at Payless.
Whatever, man.
Don't get upset that I nailed you.
I nailed you with all.
How do you figure Stefan Castle 66, great on defense, great score?
What is this hype?
Come on, what are we doing?
Because a seven-footer is so much more valuable.
Can you just sit back and appreciate that we were headed someplace informative and substantial when it came to heat discussion?
And then Dan invoked Kevin Durand, and it all went off the rims.
Okay, you took the bait.
Letting me seize on this heat culture war.
You took the bait because you want to dampen what's happening around the heat.
And you shouldn't.
And the Panthers have set the new standard in town.
But the heat have been the standard in this town.
and what they've managed to do
in the post
Jimmy Butler Kevin Durant
era of whatever basketball becomes
is they'd like
to have a sleaker model of
thing and it can be that
if it's Tyler Hero and Norman
Powell and it's Bam out of bio
and it's Khalil where wait
are those four guys going to figure it out
because those fours a lot
like that that seems to be a
four that would be really athletic and
fast and if they're going to play the pace at that
then you add pieces at the deadline and then they're playing for the top of the conference because Detroit, what have you ever won?
That's right. Toronto's number two. Hell out of here.
I'm with you on Toronto. I'm with you on Toronto. I think they're a bit of a frontrunner right now.
I think Detroit is a real team, though. That team's good, though.
Second in the East good? I mean, Ingram is really good for them. He's another one of these spaceships.
Like, he's been underrated because New Orleans swallowed all the things he could have been.
And that's a really good player.
If Scotty Barnes is your best player and he's your second best player, that's a really good too.
There are also a bit of a matchup problem for the heat and that the heat's primary, we'll say, A players are guards and big men.
Their wings are sort of the question of how much they'll be able to step up, whether that's Andrew Wiggins, whether that's Nico Yovic, even Jaime Hakeez Jr. coming off the bench and he's not quite the size of those guys in Toronto.
That becomes a matcher problem defensively.
But he's been great.
He's been great, and last night he was kind of sloppy off the bench.
Like, their whole team struggle.
They were five of 27 from three, and the guy who ultimately saved them offensively at the end
and throughout the game booing them was Tyler Hero coming off an injury, having not played
in 17 games.
To have that type of timing on the mid-range game that Dan spoke about, floaters, he started
0 for 4.
He then hit 12 of his next 14 shots, including the game winner.
If you look across the east, too, like all the bigs have interesting situations with them.
have two great defensive bigs
that if that can kind of propel them
and the guards and the wings can figure it out
like that's the top of the conference kind of front line.
Kelle, where the most encouraging part
isn't just the rebound numbers.
Yes, 16 rebounds per game
since the text messages back and forth
with Eudonnas Haslam after that Knicks game.
Man, Ben still looks stupid as hell.
But it's also the way he's accumulating blocks
at the beginning of his career last year
and even the beginning of this season.
He was chasing blocks.
Just like Hassan Whiteside, just those same things that we learn.
And defensively, they were like, he needs to learn to be a part of a team defensively.
Last night, he led the heat in minutes.
When you want to know how the heat feel about someone, when you want to know how Eric Spolster feels about someone,
it's ultimately just the minutes they play.
And for him to leave, not just Tyler Hero, not just Bam at a bio,
but to have him playing 34 minutes last night anchoring that defense
and not chasing shot blots, it ultimately shows you,
the type of evolution that he has.
That's a real deep take of when a coach plays the guy a lot,
that means he likes them.
It's a different conversation.
You can love a prospect, a project,
and not play them too many minutes to overexpose them.
To have a 21-year-old kid who at the beginning of the year,
you were sitting for stretches,
now anchoring your team and having games like this one
on a night where no one was really doing anything.
And you saw there was cheating last night, too,
by the referees where they called that one Aleupa Goldend.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Okay, but if I can just get you guys to look at the last 20 years to the prism of what the expectations are for this franchise,
the starting point now on the conversation, because the conference is open.
The starting point on the conversation is, oh, the heat are going to be interesting again.
They're going to make us wonder, oh, what do you trade in the defensive rating when Tyler Hero is getting you those mid-range buckets,
but you're trading it on defense because he's a liability there.
We know this.
If they had this exact same record right now playing the same way they played last year,
I don't think we'd be this excited.
The big news to me of this is the style.
They're the fastest team in the league all of a sudden.
Well, they're going to be interesting, is my point.
They'll go five for 27 every once in a while in threes, and they won't score 140.
They'll score 104 third game in four nights.
I'm more interested in the fact they're going to make the regular season interesting because
where's the soap opera of, okay, do Hero and Norm Powell fit?
oh whose team is it is
Kalil Ware going to grow up now you start
investing in like the personalities
and is this going to be a team I love
because they're actually a team
or are they going to fight over the silly shit
like is Bam going to be the all-star?
Is Bam the fourth? But that's the thing
right? Like that's where you get excited
and yet still
offensive rated and defensive rating
Toronto's better. Bad box score
last time for Bam but if it's your fourth guy
you can live with that Toronto's better
like it's not just the Detroit
better. Toronto is also better and
that's okay because those two teams don't
scare you. Like those
organizations don't scare you because
they're going to revolutionize how
the wings play and they're going to have something
that's
yeah, that Khalil Ware, is he
going to grow into a star? Like we've been
saying the next player has
to be better. The next player
that Bam and Tyler play with
has to be better than them. What if
it's Khalil where? I would say that
this should have been number one overall pick in last year's draft
going to be a star yet. Well, before the season, if I gave you high-end expectations, and if I tell
you, Miami's got to reshape the way that they play and they're going to hit a home run with
the Powell acquisition, then you're really psyched about what this team could do at the deadline.
But the Terry Rozier thing is looming over this franchise, and it's actually like a huge pain
of the ass. Well, but is it looming over the franchise? It is in that they can't, like, they have
a shot in this conference. People are hurt. It's kind of wide open. They have enough capital to go
out there and get the next superstar that's a malcontent, and they have a roster spot
and a salary that is easy to flip around the deadline that's expiring, and they can't move it.
I get it that Rose here makes, and you're right, like, it's total bullshit, obviously,
and Adam Silver doing nothing per usual, the most overrated commissioner in the history of
league sports, and the heater sitting here with an asset that they could trade, but like,
who's the guy right now? Are you saying that between now and four?
February. Someone will pop up. I don't, I assume someone always pops up around the deadline. And I'm
just saying, like, this is something that's a big. John would not fit what they're doing. This is
unfair. What the heater saddled with right now, because they have a piece. You're right. It's a
strange thing in the NBA where a terrible contract like that has value. It's unfair, but I, it's
unfair, but I, totally, but I, I don't, I don't know that it's holding them back. But where's the
resolution, right? They knew about the situation and then Miami traded for them said nothing and now we
have an FBI indictment, we're now $26 million just kind of out of work.
It wouldn't be Miami if there wasn't an FBI indictment somewhere around everything that's
happening here.
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Don Lebatard.
Teammates can't shoot from three.
Now they're going to see a different Jimmy.
Now he's just, just playing.
Nickelback in the locker room and...
Stugats.
They'll play D and show threes as they chase the Nats for the six seed.
These five words in his head.
Stream are we winning games yet?
This is the Dan Lebatar show.
with these two gods
Zazlo, just for the record.
He's cooking, right?
So let's slow the show down,
do your little Thanksgiving.
Let's eat.
Might do a lamb man to him, Dan.
I have another looks like
read by the legend Bob Lee.
Okay, let's see what that is.
Stephen A. Smith looks like
the family member of Thanksgiving
that takes personal offense.
when someone else declares, the sweet potato is the best dish over the stuffing.
Back to your show.
How did we get this sound from ESPN?
This doesn't seem to be...
How did we get Bob Lee to respond to that email?
You guys have noticed that Zaslow is flying high.
He has yelled at Tony.
Are you high?
Get a clue.
You're out to lunch twice.
Guys wrong.
Twice.
You're out to lunch.
Who did you say was looking like a fool?
I was having a hard time keeping up.
You said, oh, yo, Ben Stiller.
Yo, Ben Stiller, you look like a fool.
He does.
And you're just, and you're saying that someone's doing nothing.
Oh, yes, Adam Silver's doing nothing.
I'm having trouble keeping up with you
because you're shooting radio shrapnel in every direction.
Yeah, I'm creating a list today.
All right, Tony, you're right at the very top.
You might be able to work yourself off.
I don't know.
I can't pretty keep Adam Silver the top of the list.
How about that?
Let's keep the main thing, the main thing right now.
Ben Stiller.
silver for sure. Yes, I'm crafting
a list on today's show. Okay, so, but Tony's
got an objection to Zaz in general
and I need to get to UM stuff
here because I know Mike is annoying
but he's got some good... What's going on in them? He's got some good
point. And, and
I really do love that
Miami is a conversation
piece. It exists
in sports teams. This Miami
team exists to be the conversation
piece. It gets people arguing, which
makes all of this stuff work. As
long as you care and you're going to get outraged
about the 13th team, then they'll go to 24 in a couple of years. So Mike can get into the
playoffs every year and shut up for a while. I'd like to go to the playoff every year. I'd like to go to
Charlotte. Look, we lost the dumb one. I'm sorry. We shouldn't have lost that game. The bummer
about it was, and we were all screaming saying, hey, you're going to lose a dumb one if you keep
this going, and they did. But Miami's learned from that. And Miami's a different team today.
And I think there's a lot of group think. And the question,
question that is being asked by most morons is what would happen if the two teams played
today, Miami and Notre Dame. Allow me to tell you what would happen because I went back and
I watched that game between Miami and Notre Dame. That was a physical line of scrimmage
beat down. There was meat on the bone for Miami. Miami was very, very close to making that
a 21-point game in the fourth quarter. It was a three-point game. I understand where it
finished. And the way that Notre Dame climbed back into that game and made the final score look
better than how the game actually played out was
Miami got penalties and Miami ran
predictable A-gap offense. Miami has
since learned from that.
Notre Dame is not the only team that is
different from that game. Miami
has improved and learned
from SMU. What would happen if Notre Dame
played Miami today? What would happen if Miami played
Louisville today? What would happen if Miami
played SMU today? We can do this all
day, but I can tell you what would happen if Miami played
Notre Dame. You could do this all day.
I would. I have in my group chats.
I do. And on Twitter.
I just texted.
On Wednesday.
Does anybody know an AP voter?
You should be working them.
And the coaches, I'll more on that in a second.
But Miami would beat up Notre Dame, and I think it would look worse.
You've heard every excuse in the book for why Notre Dame performed that way week one.
This is our quarterback's first start.
Okay, he was the best player on that team.
You got a Heisman sexy hot pick that got 10 carries and he finished for 33 yards in that game.
CJ Carr wasn't the problem.
C.J. Carr was pretty freaking awesome in that game.
Oh, we had a new D.C.
So did we!
Miami had a new defensive coordinator, and that's absent from the discussion.
You're the only team that's allowed to have a new D.C.
A game was 27-24.
I feel like there were more points on the board for Miami to score than there were from Notre Dame.
I think Miami's defense is even better than they were week one against Notre Dame.
So, yeah, spot the ball and let's play that game.
So what's your big question?
My question right now is why isn't the rest of the nation seeing this?
That Miami is a damn good team.
that you look at the teams ahead of Miami,
and if you spot the ball in the middle of that field,
Miami can win these games.
Miami's not getting out match when it comes to talent.
Miami beat themselves in their two losses.
Miami, with a team like that that's built the way they are along the line of scrimmage,
they are not getting blown out in a game.
There's a lot of teams in that top 12 that I'm looking at them like,
they don't have a snowball's chance in hell.
That's your question?
Don't the results matter?
The results should matter.
Isn't that what your argument has been?
The result should.
So it doesn't matter if they beat themselves.
the games. I understand.
That's your question, though? Yes.
Okay, because my question is, would every GM in the NBA or definitely every GM in the NBA
take hell-aware over Stephen Castle?
All right, but I don't know what's happening around here when Mike has now invoked
snowballs chance in hell. Like, not a snowball.
It's a bummer. Miami's going to go 21 and 4 over their last two seasons and be shut
out. Now, last year, I did the propaganda thing a little late. They blew a 21-point lead at
Syracuse. They were a flawed team. They were a flawed team.
We got what we deserve last year.
You can admit they'd cancel the NBA season
if the Spurs took hello, whereover, Stefan Castle,
and you had where and Wendy.
They cancel a season, right?
I agree.
You understand.
Tony, you understand that, right?
No.
Or are you still out to lunch?
No.
You might still be out to lunch.
What does that mean as an insult?
Out to lunch.
That means I'm not here, Dan, but I'm here.
Tento's down.
Chris, I need to slow the show down because sports arguments
keep breaking out.
I need you to throw...
He's sitting, by the way.
Throw some Thanksgiving stuff in here.
I'm allowed comfort.
I also have to keep Tony off of Zazlaw
because Tony is disgusted by the way
that Zazlo represented ESPN
in Madison. What? Why? This guy, look at him. Look at him.
Put the camera on him. Put the camera on him right now. Put the camera.
Ah, look at that.
Look at that. Please. Look at that point of.
Like, you have stuff. You have money to go and purchase things
and you go purchase that.
Yo, don't pocket watch me. I'm not pocket watching you. I'm just looking at you
and saying like, eh. I'm very pleased
with the way I look there. Were you kidding me? I got a nice ESPN
radio hoodie. It was free.
And I'm not dressed like an Esquivol like the girls.
It was 20.
Whoa. Hey. It was 20.
We can say that. No, we can say that. Play on, play on. We can say that again.
It was 20 degrees and you're not. How freezing were you? How cold were you? That 20 degrees and windy, I'm sure.
Yeah, and I'm doing the show outside for three hours.
In like regular socks? Yeah. Regular socks in 20. And I didn't bring my long johns either. I should have.
Dan, I look good in long johns. Wait a minute. Think of where we are as a society where you tell your daughter, give me an indigenous person kiss.
An Eskimo kiss. They're nice.
Zazlo was dressed in a... You look good in long johns? Don't think I'll, don't think how
Under your clothes.
Oh, I look good.
Well, but, you know, before I put the clothes on.
He's got himself looking in the mirror in Long John's being like, yeah, this is it.
Honey.
Okay.
I'm like FaceTime you.
Look, can I just tell, can I just?
I've done that.
Indigenous person, kids.
Tony, if he were on the road with ESPN, representing the height of.
It's a classy picture.
Mint coat in Vegas.
Audio.
Okay.
You heard that, that's ass.
Mink coat.
You didn't even know what a mink is, buddy.
You look like Tyler Durden.
All right, listen.
I don't know who that is.
Slow it down, Dan.
It's Fight Club.
That's because you're a movie sucker.
You haven't seen Dodgeball, buddy.
What are you talking about?
Slow down!
Everybody's not!
Yes, I have.
I just didn't know the name.
You know, Fight Club was the second date I had with my wife.
Nobody cares.
We watched Fight Club together.
Stay focused.
Mint coat.
Thank you, Chris.
Get the Thanksgiving ready for me.
It was Chinchilla, by the way, not Min.
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
Chris, grab a hold of the show and grab a hold of the show
and grab a hold of the show.
the Thanksgiving things so that I can have a tether to, if Tony were allowed to represent ESPN's
audio coverage of Kingsport on Saturdays, Tony would be dressed far differently, headed to
Madison, Wisconsin than Zaz is as he throws on a hoodie does morning windy radio, freezing
his ass off, can't possibly do the show well or looking good, because it's too cool.
cold because it's winter in Madison.
It's going to be inside, but he looks like Gino Fentes.
So Gino Fentes wears every single day to be back there.
I'm very pleased with how I look there.
I am representing South Florida with that look right there.
And how dare you assume that I didn't do a great show?
I roll out of bed I knock it out of the park.
You were cold.
You sounded cold.
Wait, hear your teeth on the broadcast.
You sounded cold.
You were, you're going to deny, are you going to deny that you
remember what are you?
That you toughed through the broadcast, but it sounded like you were outdoors and that you were cold.
I had no gloves.
It's a warning amount.
Who goes to Madison with no gloves?
I had no gloves.
Were you able to hear me rubbing the hand warmers together?
Zaslow, listen to me.
This is the work of an amateur.
He did this last season.
You cannot go into a winter in Madison.
The way that team plays football and not expend a bone chill through your bones in late November.
I think it's so autumn.
We said it was going to be 40 degrees.
I think it's 20 and windy,
and I think I could hear how cold Zaslo was on the radio,
and only the radio professional in him was able to tough it out.
I dare say that Zaslo has never worked in worse conditions, have you?
It was rough.
You know you could put another jacket on on top of the sweater, right?
Whatever, man.
You could throw another jacket on.
Whatever, I didn't pack another one.
You never did one of those remotes from Tire Kingdom?
Zaslo.
I did.
I was with the ticket chicks.
Guys, wait a minute.
Come on. Can we just marvel at this?
Ticket people. Sorry, Jeremy.
Can we marvel at this adult
toddler? Look, you tell
me if this happens year
one, game one. Okay, I understand.
He did this
last year. He had
time to... This is how you're supposed to address Dan
right there. Imagine me saying
ESPN Radio. Tyler Durdin-looking
ass. That's a
suit, okay? With a chinchilla
on top, buddy. Zazel has to do this as a punishment.
Tony, Tony,
If you were given this opportunity.
That's a cigar right there, Zaz.
If you were given this opportunity, Tony, you command Saturday's airwaves on, I don't know how many, 300 channels?
That's right.
Yeah.
I would be dressed just like that, making things happen, dressing for the academy.
I'd be like, I'd be like Walt Frazier out there, okay?
Good reference by the young fella.
And you with one jacket on freezing your ass off, Chief Tatter.
Wasn't a jacket, his hood sweater?
Freezing.
You.
Dummy.
Dummy.
Would you be willing to concede that you've never sounded.
colder on the air. It doesn't,
it wasn't that cold, actually. I heard your teeth.
And it doesn't even matter they didn't have a cold. I control my own blood.
I was fine. Mike, do you
want to just know how it is that
you sound talking about the
University of Miami? I just want...
The tone was good. Okay, your tone, you're... I agree.
The question that I wanted to ask is, like, do you
think Notre Dame would beat Miami if they played
today? Because I don't. Mike, I did
think your tone was good. I thought your argument was
good. I didn't think there was a lot of room for
Jeremy to have rebuttals. He did have some
rebuttals I would have liked to have heard, but he
couldn't quite get in over this.
So did we!
Again, good tone.
So did we!
The tone got away from me there, but...
I felt like I'm presenting a compelling argument.
So did we!
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