The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Pablo Torre Found Out

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

"This is the quickest it goes! This is the quickest it goes! This is the quickest it goes!" Pablo Torre dropped another Pablo, and while it may be the greatest journalistic effort of his career, a couple of members of the show are (unsurprisingly) not quite as impressed as the rest of the sports world. It's time to get to the voice modulation machine to get the truth about Pablo. Today's cast: Dan, Greg, Chris, Billy, Mike, Roy, Tony, and Zaslow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Come on! Come on! Come on! Give it on for me! Yes! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Come on! Who said, sit down? I have four words for you. I love this company. Yes! Football... Football. Football...

Football... Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football!

Hey, hey, hello. It's me, Pablo, here to, I'm... Football. You love, love? That's slightly cliché. chant that I as an American and I'm contractually obligated to also say, football.

I'm interrupting this because I am going to join the show, I think, to talk about a new now-not-so-secret episode of my show in our new partnership with The Athletic. That's coming up soon. So, finding out, find out,

foot out, you know, right? Okay. I have a journalistic judgment question to ask the group. Should we start with Pablo Torre dropping at 5 a.m.? A Pablo drop that I suspect will be the biggest story in sports once all the editors and writers wake up and start chasing what Pablo is reporting? Or should we talk about how Greg and Billy both think that the dolphins have a must-win game this weekend?

A must-win? A must win, Billy and Greg. And Big Mac, just so that we're not making it seem like we're two cooks, I think, that. Must win, they have said, week one, it seems a truly asinine thing to say. You want to explain it to me? I would love to, yeah. And I say it in the context of how it would seem to be so asinine, because I hate it when people use the word must win when it isn't literally a must win.

And it's two words. Yeah, the only time it applies really is a game seven in the finals or something. something like that. But I will say this, expectations are so low for the dolphins, particularly relative to the hurricanes, but in general, expectations are low. Not expected to be a playoff team. Indianapolis is not very good. Indianaapolis is a team they can beat, dare say should beat, even on the road. And so I just think if the dolphins lose this game Sunday, their whole season sags right out the gate. I think they need this win in a big way, just to entice the fans, just to get the fans a little bit excited, which they're not right now.

The Pablo Tori story, though. He's exactly right. Here's the problem is that some people, Greg, and Dan seems to be one of these people, don't seem to understand every game counts exactly the same. So if this game was being played week 17, you say that's a big game, that's a must win. They've got to win this. But they're playing that game week one. So you got to win the Indianapolis game.

Daniel Jones is their quarterback. If you can't be Daniel Jones, you have no business. The Colts overcame the fact that they had a quarterback playing for them who didn't know how to play quarterback who had started like all of 15 games in college and the pros and would appear to be something of a bust. Yeah, like are we forgetting, I understand what you're saying the Colts, they're not very good. The Dolphins and Colts both won eight games last year. Yeah. Like the Colts are definitely looking at the Dolphins with the exact same mindset. If we don't be that team, our season's sunk, too.

He gets it. Like, it felt good when they announced Daniel Jones. It's like, nice, Daniel Jones sucks. Right. It's better than Anthony Richardson. Yeah, arguably. No, he's better than... No, what do you mean, arguably, Greg?

Daniel Jones is a bust. Uh-huh. Nobody likes Daniel Jones. Greg is a giant. He won a playoff game. Anthony Richardson started 15 games, made about seven good throws, got hurt a bunch. Some great throws on. And doesn't know how to play quarterback because he doesn't have the reps of having played

quarterback. Like, that's, Daniel Jones knows how to play quarterback. The Colts have to be at least a three-point favorite in the game. Are they not? One-and-a-half. One-and-a-half, which means the betters think Miami's a slightly better team. If they're going to be beaten, it's going to be by Jonathan Taylor, not Daniel Jones. No, no, no.

If the Colts are at home and a one-and-a-half-point favorite, I understand what you're saying, that three points go to the home team. But if the Colts are favored, the money is saying that the Colts are going to win the game. They're favored to win the game. But you know how odds go? I do. but the Dolphins are on the road. This is not a home team.

It's not the better team playing at home that is the Dolphins. This is the better team being the Colts because they're at home. In Dan's defense, it's weird for you to hear the line and say, well, that suggests the dolphins are three points better. I don't understand how that, no, the line suggests that the Colts are one and a half points better. Well, which means the dolphins are one and a half points better on a neutral field. You guys don't get it. I get what he's saying, though, because usually the home team gets a minus three.

So it's a plus one and a half. Thank you. There's a math there. One game that gets played in that league on a neutral field, then it's the last one. So the Dolphins and Colts were in a Super Bowl. No, no, Friday. There's one Friday.

The NFL starts Friday with a game on a neutral field. Thursday, starts Thursday, then. Tricky league. It starts, it starts tomorrow? Yeah, but the Brazil game, you didn't know this? No, I thought it started targeting. You got the Eagles and Cowboys, Dan's ass already. The Brazil game is Friday to Dan's sports.

Hold on a second. Would tomorrow night have been going on and you wouldn't have been watching? Well, Friday night would have been going on and I wouldn't have been watching because I didn't know until yesterday when it scrolled. across on YouTube. I'm like, wait a minute, there's a game Friday night as well? Brazil? I was not aware of that. A couple high-profile teams playing tomorrow night.

Yeah, I've just turned now. I heard. Big game. That's, thank you for informing me. Game of the year. Must win, guys. Yeah. Yes. I mean, we're going to take your word for you. You didn't even know the season started tomorrow. What do you know?

How are Dolphin fans going to feel about their season if they lose that game? They're going to feel like it's over. Ugly. It's why it's ugly. It'll be ugly. Oh, but wait a minute, though. The Colts fans, how they're going to feel? Who cares about Colts fans? If they lose that game. They're not people.

Colts fans are looking at that and saying that the dolphins are an eminently beatable football team. That is ripe for total collapse. I know a big deal was made a few days ago that they didn't make Tyreek Hill a captain, which was only the easiest and most obvious decision that Mike McDaniel has made since he's been coach of the dolphin. No, falsehoods. That was a sign that Tyree kill. actually is a captain. And we talked about this weeks ago. And we said the captains are going to come out. And Tyreek has been someone that, you know, is at odds with his teammates.

He's been named a captain for years now. And if he's named a captain, we know he's not a captain because he accepted that role. However, if he's not a captain, it shows he's a true leader and he says, you know what, I'm going to step down. I'm going to take a step back. And he's really a true captain and a leader on this team by not accepting the label of captain. What the hell are you talking about? No, he's right. It shows growth and leadership. of maturity. Okay. It's very important to note that Mike McDaniel does not pick the captains. It's a team vote. It's a player vote. I think it's very significant that the players themselves demoted Tyree Hill because they were fed up with him refusing to go in a game late last season and then making

all these uncaptain-like, unleadership-like moves on social media before finally retracting with his tail between his legs. He, as Tua said, and I give Tua credit for this, on opening day of training Camp Tua comes out and says Tyreek has to earn back the respect of the team, and apparently he hadn't when they voted for captains. I think it's a big deal. I'm going to have to side with Billy here. Thank you. They probably all gathered in the locker room and Tyreek Hill probably stepped forward and said, guys, I shouldn't be captain, which is a true captain. It could be. Leadership move. Nonsense. Good correction there. I thought that Mike McDaniel had made that decision. The players making that decision. The guy doesn't make any decisions. It's fairly obvious. Teams run amok. Isn't it

one of those things, though, where all the votes go to Mike McDaniel? So he's sitting in the office counting the votes. I mean, he can kind of say, whoa, whatever he wants. Chris Cody finds out. Right in ballots. Voter fraud and Dolphins' captain election? Nothing stopping them. Put it on the poll,

please. Now players are going up to Tyreek like, hey man, I voted for you. I don't know what happened. Yeah. And he's saying I'm a leader. I don't need this guys. I think for the betterment of the team, you guys be the captains this year. Put it on the poll, please. at your leisure at Lebitard show,

did the Dolphins players make Tyreek Hill the captain and did Mike McDaniel then jerry rig the vote? Well, that's one view. If the correct probably view is that Tyreek Hill said, you know what, for the betterment of the team in the organization, I'm going to step down. I don't think it's a stretch to say he's laying down the foundation

for Walter Payton Man of the Year. I do. I wish you'd let that silence sit, Greg. Why wouldn't you? Really? Really? So you object to Billy's contention that Tyree Kill might be NFL man of the year. It was important. If he didn't say anything, someone may have thought that Greg agreed. I wanted the silence. If we could have just stared at him for five seconds, it would have been funny. I let it sit for two point five seconds. You didn't let it sit at all. Not even close. It's a quick clock on that. Two point five is quick. I know your two point five seconds.

Some people, by the way, have also said Walter Payton Man of the Year is really the most important trophy that you can win, not the Lombardi. Yeah, laughable. Greg, can you get a little closer to the microphone place? You're trying to disannoy me at this point. The NFL says it's their biggest trophy, which is ridiculous. No offense to Walter Payton. Or Tyree kill, potentially. Rest in peace.

Right, exactly. Or his son who Dan thought was a bathroom attendant. Yeah. No, it's crazy, though. Come on. I did not think he was a bathroom attendant. I thought he was at the kiosk handing out tourist pamphlets. I did not think he was a bathroom attendant.

That is not how far in extreme my racism ran. I simply made him the convention center pamphlet handler, which is also insulting. Your glasses are also fogging up. I know. They're poorly. It's the coffee, I think. They're poorly what? They were fitted wrong for my head, so they sit too close to my eyeballs.

The Cody knows. The Cody nose knows. No, it's badly designed. I'm not going to say who the eye doctor is that I go to because I don't want to. No, no, it's not McGillicuddy. Greg, the coffee. What's happening with the fogging of the glasses is that your coffee is hot, and you're fogging the glasses by drinking coffee. Yeah, I love coffee.

Coffee. Everybody loves coffee. It's the American drink. No, not everyone. Yeah. Some people don't like it. Yeah. Put it on the poll at Levitard show.

Does everyone love coffee? I learned something that I did not know when I was in Hawaii. I guess, evidently, that coffee prices have exploded because of the tariff situation. It's one of the things that have happened where we don't have a lot in America of the kind of soil that you need to make some of the best coffee. So you can do some of that. You can find some of that in Hawaii. And where else, I guess, Puerto Rico might have some climate that you would want for coffee, but we don't make coffee well. And America is addicted to coffee.

Put it on the poll at Levitard show. Does everyone like coffee? Because have you guys seen the coffee prices explode in a way that you're not? the way that people noticed that egg prices were exploding? Nah. A little bit. A little bit. Like I buy 10K cups of an unnamed brand.

It was always $9.99, you know, basically a buck a cup for years. And now it's like $12.99, $13.99. That's a pretty big hike. I thought Zazlo was going to bring in a plain stick today. What happened? Oh, my gosh. Good job. Good job.

Why can't someone remind me? I got to remember everything. You blew it. You got to remember. Everything I got to remember. I think I got to remember. Get a plane stick at Dunkin' Donuts when that's your thing. You said yesterday that's my thing.

I'm going to bring it in tomorrow. And now I'm annoyed because now I'd really like to eat a plane stick right now. And everyone said, and then we put it on a poll, and 85% of the people said they didn't know what a plane stick was. And you were going to show us today what a plane stick was. I've let everyone down here. It's okay. We're used to. Yo, you don't have to agree so quick, Greg.

Bricks of Cuban coffee are out of control if you're asking me, Dan. Like, Yava Bustello, they used to be like $1.99 or something for like a brick down near five. dollars now it's crazy uh put it on the poll as well at lebitard show have you noticed that coffee prices have exploded howdy folks it's mike ryan it's also nfl season lots of big time matchups you know your boy's an NFL free agent so he's looking all across that NFL schedule for the very best games and when i do my very first and only stop is the game time app because the game time app gives the advantage back to the fans it's a hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences and just a few taps. It's incredibly easy to use, and the game time guarantee means that you can trust that

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See the Tim's app for details at participating in restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Don Lebertard. You don't remember the idea for... It's probably like, that kind of thing, something. Okay, no, the home run call was, that kind of swing, that kind of thing. Stugats. Oh, it's a good call.

Thank you. And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailing it to a particular name. You know, all that jazz, you know, you don't kind of do that. Oh, that would be a great call. That kind of swing, that kind of thing. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. The Pablo Torrey finds out story that I do believe, I don't know, you guys have now seen it.

It dropped at 5 o'clock. Do we have any special imaging, even though we're coming in a couple of hours late on what it is that's happening with Pablo Tori. His episode dropped at 5 a.m. this morning. He's been working on it for seven months, okay, because this is his first assignment in partnership with the athletic. and he's coming out with the biggest story I think he's ever had. But you guys have now seen some of the story. Did we overpromise and under-delivered? Did we promise correctly?

Or did we under-promise and over-deliver? Because we normally don't talk this positively about something that's coming out. But I really do believe that even in a football week, as soon as people see what the size of this story is, it's got some nuance in it. Some of his stories are hard to report cleanly, like just saying, hey this thing is so and it's a fact because you're accusing people of things and there's lawyering involved you don't want to get sued you have to like you have to make sure that you have your facts right on a story like this you can't be flippant about it but where so so

if anyone here is accused of violating the salary cap with a for example an alleged $28 million no-show job for Kauai Leonard. A superstar that everyone was wondering when the Clippers got him. How did that happen? Uncle Dennis was involved. Kauai was asking for a ton of things. Did we over-promise? I'll be honest.

When Pablo first started mentioning this, like a few weeks ago, and I got a big story coming out, you know, and David was mentioning, hey, he's saying he's got a big story coming out. I was like, all right, it's like, better be a doozy, all right, because Pablo's had a couple stories that felt pretty big, and you're saying this one's bigger. So I'll admit, I was skeptical. You know, is this going to come out like, eh, it's not that big of a thing? And then I see it this morning, and it's a pretty big thing.

I think that people are going to be, like, I think they're going to be a lot of trouble with this story. I mean, heck, I was listening on the way in here on Sirius XM on NBA radio. They were all over it. Like, they were talking about the story, and Pablo this. Pablo, that, like, I think once people are starting to wake up today, they see the story, I think it's big trouble. Yeah, I normally have below average interest in business stories and stories that involve contracts, but this is a true blockbuster, and I think the size of it, the weight of it, is going to be known when the repercussions come in?

Like, is Balmer going to be suspended? Are they going to be fined or the club going to be fined? They can't lose draft picks because OKC's got them all. Yeah, exactly. But what are they going to, you know, is the deal going to be negated? No, the punishment should be they have to keep Kauai Leonard. That's the punishment. Play good last year, Zaz. They would love to get out from that contract.

I kind of poo-poohed the last one of these Pablo's. This one, this one's big. It's a good one. Kind of like the Woj has a Woj bomb. This is a Pablo. Pablo. Whoa. That's the dropping.

of a Pablo? Yeah, he's blown away. Like, can you feel it? Oh, yeah, I can't. Is there a Pablo out there? It's brisk, but it's not like powerful. Maybe that's like a nuke, and this is like the nuclear winner sound. It sounds to me like a Pablo. This is the dropping of a Pablo. Get back in the

workshop and see if you can make better imaging for that. Dan, that costs $7,000. I feel nervous. What's Pablo's security detail like provided by Metal Arc? because he's pissing off a lot of powerful people who, you know, maybe might try to kill him. I don't know if people listening to this. Put it delicately. That was not. I don't think that people necessarily, the discerning ones do,

but I don't think that people necessarily see what's happening throughout the entirety of media and sports media that makes it more and more difficult with all of these corporate partnerships and all of these teams. not caring for sports journalism. And as far as I can tell, I'm not sure how much sports fans care for sports journalism until it's done this kind of thoroughly and they then enjoy, of course, the scandal. But what's happening throughout sports journalism

is resources throughout local news, throughout everything, not just sports, is that it's all being hacked to death by an assortment of efficiency cuts and people not seeing this stuff as important. So Metal Arc Media has made a substantive investment in making sure that this show can do what outside the lines used to do, what HBO Real Sports used to do in the podcast form. No one else is doing this in the podcast form in sports. Let's play a clip from Pablo Tori finds out. This episode dropped at 5 a.m. We will get better imaging for when it is a Pablo

drops. Do you remember the first time that you I discovered Kauai Leonard's endorsement agreement with Aspiration? Oh, it was within the first 30 days of my employment with the company. And I didn't so much as discover it as I was told about it. What was your reaction? What were you told? My reaction was, what the fuck? And I was told, like, oh, these are the major contracts and the major players you really need to be aware of.

And we went through a litany of, you know, really, really top-tier name. contracts. And then, oh, by the way, we also have a marketing deal with Kauai Leonard, a $28 million organic marketing sponsorship deal with Kauai, and that if I had any questions about it, essentially don't because it was to circumvent the salary cap L.O.L. There was lots of L.O.L. When things were shared. Did you ever see proof of Kauai Leonard marketing or endorsing Aspiration in any way? Never not once. The single largest payment to an individual for marketing

that Aspiration ever made has completely evaded all press. Nothing. He didn't have to do anything. In other words, Quy Leonard got from Aspiration a $28 million no-show job. Yeah, it's amazing. I'm honestly so jealous.

I mean, he's got the dream. Like, it's within my beliefs, be paid $28 million and do absolutely all as well. One of the things that I wrote down on a piece of paper when we left ESPN in terms of aspirational bullet points, there weren't that many, but

one of them was I'd like to start something that allows me to use a voice modulator. And I don't think we do it particularly well here. No, that was bad because that was very clearly Boban. Yeah. I think it's pretty obvious to anybody who worked with that person who that is.

Like, I believe his voice is distinctive enough. Oh, I sign in a pronoun. Okay. That while it is that we're listening to it, we don't know who it is, but I think the people who would be mad that that person spoke would recognize that voice. I don't think we use the voice modulator very well. So identifiable, unbelievable.

What? Yeah. That guy, to people who know him, to people who work for that company, how can you know that? The voice sounds different. I mean, what if it's a woman? It's possible.

In fact, I would say, in my opinion, I heard that. I'm like, ah, it's possibly a woman. And to hear you guys speak with such certainty that it's not, probably speaks to the fact that it might be a good voice modulation. You know what? I need to slightly take that back because I erred in assuming that it was or is a man. Where I don't think I aired is in thinking that we would be bad as a group at voice modulation and that therefore that would be a man because to disguise the voice and have it be a woman would be well done.

I don't believe we did it that well. The second episode of Pablo Torre finds out is we track down whether or not that's a man or a woman. Hey, there's spaces in between. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions.

Oh, hi, buddy. Who's the best? You are. I wish I could spend all day with you instead. Uh, Dave, you're off mute. Hey, happens to the best of us. Enjoy some goldfish cheddar crackers. Goldfish have short memories.

Be like goldfish. Dan Lebatard. I'm gonna get some golf A-S-M-R. Stugats. Oh, fuck me. This is the Dan. Levitar show with the Stucats. Greg Cody

wanted us to find when he came in here today. What I have spoken about before, which is the one time that he was using a voice modulator, when he suggested in print, something that Zaslo still makes fun of him about 30 years

later, that the dolphins trade Dan Marino. Oh, my God. I'm the only person in this room whose voice has been modulated, so I speak from experience. Well, Chris has done some voice modulation with a new toy that he has back there that we've given him because, again, the bullet points were I wanted to be good at voice modulation and we're still not good at voice modulation. I also snitched on Ballmer to Paul. Oops. Greg, would you please get in that seat over there where our voice modulator is in the middle seat and see, since you, I'd like to see if we can get slightly better at the voice modulation here. But I'm on it.

In front of, he loved, Greg Cody loved that in 1990 or thereabouts, can you look at the date on that framed column over there? It's probably 93. On the wall, on when it is that Greg Cody, the most memorable column Greg Cody has ever written. 93. In 1993, he blasphemed sacrilege. He traded Dan Marino in print. And afterward, I thought it was Channel 10 that interviewed him. although he said it was Jim Barry, who I think is still on the air.

I think Jim Barry is still on the air. Anchor chair. And he had his voice and his face modulated like you would a whistleblower or anybody whose identity you were trying to conceal who was giving you information that was dangerous for them to be known to be giving. And so he once did an interview in front of the Miami Herald building that way, and he wanted us to find it for him from 30 years ago. And I feel like I would have had to go straight to Jim Berry

and ask him to go through things I would have to put in a VCR in order to get them to play because this is so old, it's 10 years before the Internet, never mind social media. Pablo would have found it. Maybe Pablo can find it so that we can hear a young sounding Greg Cody. But Greg, let me hear, let me see if your voice would be well disguised here if we modulated it here

instead of using all of the resources that Pablo has. Hello. This is not Greg Cody. That kind of thing. And you know it. Okay. Any questions? I want the whole show like this.

Do you? You want Greg to sit in there all show? Must win for the dolphins. It's not Greg. But I do agree with Greg. Why are you talking so slow? Why are you talking so slow? Need to win this opener

It's because you can hear yourself It's kind of awkward What do you mean? Greg, do you have it back in my day? A what? I stand behind Greg for not doing back in my days anymore

You all have him singing songs and doing so many ancillary things That is ridiculous And you know it Talk faster Why he's talking so slow I'm talking at my normal speed.

This is, uh, yeah, my wife loves this deep, sexy voice, I'll tell you that. How would you talk to her with it? Yeah, baby. What's your wife's name? I forget. You're not Greg, so, uh... Yeah, I'm not Greg. My wife's name is Eileen.

Come on, Eileen that way, and you know it. Come on, Eileen. I didn't say that Roy said it I know I was like we're doing a duo thing back and forth And you know I have to

I have to admit that that is not only an exceptional voice simulator It's at least in part exceptional Because the person speaking is clearly about 350 pounds heavier than Greg Cody

You can hear the We could play a game Where you turn around And then we Someone in here talks and you have to guess who's doing it. Oh, that's a good idea. Baby.

I think we're doing pretty well with Greg here. Yeah, we'll just cook. Although I also think that Billy could do all of this better. Let's, Billy, would you go outside, please go? Because I want to do, what is the pixelation called, I guess? That's what it's called. Pixelation. You nailed it.

Yeah, good job, man. Yeah, well done. Now, if you're telling me to go do something pixelated, people will know it's me because you just told me to do it, which defeats the purpose of the pixelation. Let's do, let's do something then where no one could ever know at you. I want you to put on what... Now they'll know, because again,

you're saying me. Just say someone should do it and then no one will know who it is. Like say Greg, Greg, why don't you go do it, Greg? I could do that. If I can find Greg, I'll let him know. Okay, good. I still can't get over the Zaslo, forgot the

plain sticks. Oh, I don't know why you got to keep bringing that up. Would it kill someone to remind me in the morning? I got a lot going on. Tomorrow you're going to bring in a plain stick. If someone reminds me. Bring it enough for everybody. All right.

Someone please leave the room and or someone go into another room, a total mystery figure. And let's see if we can figure out who that person is based on whatever it is, the maximum disguise that we can pour resources into so that we can actually do this correctly before we try the game that Chris is suggesting, which is I have to turn my back. back to things and figure out who's talking at the microphone. We will do that in a moment, and we will also get to the fact that the state of Florida has three teams in the top 15. The biggest stunner, FSU, all of a sudden, in the top 15, going from 13 and 1 to 2 and 10 to now back in the top 15. That is a roller coaster ride. Boy, do they look good. The overreaction to their beating Alabama to vault them from unranked,

to number 10 is ridiculous. Good thing they weren't 10th, though. They were 14. Well, still, my point is well made, that kind of thing. You not only sound like your 450 pounds. You also, because of how slow you're talking, you sound like you're slurring. Like, you sound like you've had a great deal to drink.

Right. Well, here's the thing. You know, I was born this way. You know, don't make fun of my voice. Now, I can artificially try to talk even quicker and see how it turns out. But this is the quickest it goes. Hey, this is the quickest it goes.

Everybody, this is the quickest it goes. Yeah, this is the quickest it goes. Oh, wow. This is the quickest it goes. All right, we go on to the other room where Billy obviously is better at all of these things than we are. Let's go out to a super secret person who clearly is not Billy.

It's somebody else. Let's see if we can figure out who this is. This is good, and the voice is going to changed. Yeah, yeah, you're good. So, we're talking about Pablo? Oh, he broke another story. Big deal. Wow. We're with the athletic now.

We're breaking serious news. How about this for breaking news? Football starts on Thursday. You're releasing a story on Wednesday. And what's the story? Oh, a rich guy did something a little bit sketchy and maybe got around laws. Who could have seen that coming?

Billionaires getting their way by not following the law making up fake tree planting companies. I'm shocked. Agast. How about this? Philadelphia Eagles. Thursday. Football starts.

Friday. Brazil. Saturday. FIU Penn State. Sunday. Sunday night football. The NFL full slate is back. Monday.

This story has what? A day to exist? And we're going to throw a big party to find out that all of a sudden these people are not all on the up and up allegedly? Who can't? Why do we need this?

Like, do Pablo not get enough attention as a child? Now we have to stop everything that we do, every time he puts out a podcast episode and pretend like we've discovered some sort of great thing that's going to change the world. No one cares. No one cares about this story. No one's going to care about it. Everybody's flying down to throw up party. They're sending all these, do not report until 5 a.m. on Wednesday.

As if I want to tell my friends about this story anyway. Like, I want to talk my friend. Did you hear about Kauai Leonard and Steve Balmer? No. No, no one gives a shit about Steve Balmer and Quiland. Here's the story. They cheated and they still suck. They haven't won anything.

Why don't you explore that? Why don't you find out why they keep cheating and can't win? That's the interesting thing. If anything, cheat better. This isn't even good cheating. You haven't one shit. Who cares about this story? Who cares about the Clippers?

Who cares about Kauai Lenders? Who cares about replanting trees? Fibund ridiculous. I do want to talk about what a great face. business the tree planting business. My God, Dan, if you're talking about fraud, the one thing you got to do is make sure that you're not selling something that can be traced back to you, right? Hey, yeah, we planted the tree.

See that tree right there? We planted it. And you're like, really? Wow, how much it costs you 100 grand? No biggie. And you just multiply that for $28 million. You play a trillion trees. Everybody's happy.

You replant the rainforest and you never did anything and you get all this money and it doesn't matter. What an incredible fraud. I think that that mystery figure was indeed right where. when he or she shrugs his or her shoulders and says, oh, big surprise, a billionaire skirting the rules. However, one of the shocking things about this to me, many, many years ago, can you look this up for me and see if it is indeed true?

Because it might be an urban myth. But for many years, the greatest example of cheating in sports with money used to be Eric Dickerson and the way that he was recruited, and specifically the way SMU recruited him before SMU went on like this total probation because they were cheating everywhere. And the story goes, and please look this up for me to see if it's true, because I've asked Eric Dickerson

and he will not confirm it. And I can't remember if it's true or urban myth that SMU offered him an oil well. That's 40 years ago. To see that make an appearance in the pros because of course they're going to try and get around the same, salary cap and Mark Cuban one time got gonged because he just let Dennis Rodman stay at his house for a while because they're very particular about we're legislating equality here. Bad teams get

better. We need everything to be competitive. When you circumvent the salary cap, as it looks like the Clippers did, to land Kawhi Leonard with a $28 million no-show job that used to be the exclusive domain of colleges and the way that colleges recruited before they could pay players. is legitimately shocking to me, even understanding that Uncle Dennis and Kauai were working in the shadows and weren't doing business the way necessarily Balmer usually does business. How unlikely is it to you guys that Steve Balmer is the only billionaire that tried this in a cap sport? Because my take after this reporting by Pablo is, I think there are some other owners that are getting little nervous. Made names.

I thought that, and I've never been able to actually confirm. affirm this because I thought that for a while there, when China was making its way in and the Chinese endorsements were making their way into the sport, that there were creative ways that an assortment of owners were leveraging relationships to get people endorsement money because of the relationships that they had in China that would have been outside of the salary cap and had some promises in it that would allow this. But a $28 million no-show job, is beyond the pale. Like this is to pay someone that much for something

that they didn't even have to do an endorsement deal, that the whole thing just seemed kind of bogus because he was hiding behind some plants, some hiding behind some plants and tree planting. Do we know for sure that he didn't plant any trees? That's what they say. So the thing is, if you're going to go through with a good scam, you've got to have the backstory, right?

You got to have Kawhin some Timbalin boots with a shovel. You got to have them next to a couple of trees, a little bit of dirt on his face, a little bit of sweat. And you're like, look, he's planting these trees. What was his no-show job at this company? No show. It was to no-show. Tree planter?

Was he just picturing with the tree? Like, what was his job? He was a celebrity endorser, like Robert Downey Jr. They were spending a lot of money on celebrity endorsements. I like the LLC that he created to get payment, KW2. Like, they're really hiding the... Could be anything, though. Well, I mean, you may as well as named it's Salary Cap cheating LLC.

Like, KW2. They had the name of the fake company in it. Well, part of the O. outrage here is the stupidity. The idea that they have a fake company for Kauai Leonard and don't even go through the pretense of him actually having a job. It would be so easy to fake that. Have him do an ad, have him do a commercial, a peer in a magazine. They did none of that. But to Mike's point, and he's right, I instantly wondered if this team is so, ham-handedly trying to circumvent the salary cap. It's got to be going on not only in the NBA, but in every major sport. I don't think so.

Okay, you say that. The MLS is overtly doing it with Messi. I mean, they have rules that designated players can make what they want, but the pot was sweetened with Apple, and we just understand the business that Messi brings over to that league, and everybody is okay with it. but there is just no way on earth that Steve Balmer was the first person to think of this and execute it. No way.

Now, other people may be better at covering up their tracks. I assume, I can only assume, that there are teams right now looking into this kind of thing. In fairness to Kauai and Steve Balmer, sometimes seeds just don't take. You know, like, I don't know if you've ever had to, like, the school project where your kid bring homes like a pumpkin scene. You're like, wow, I'm going to have a pumpkin patch in my backyard and now never pay for pumpkins again at, you know, Halloween. and it just never grows. So it's possible they got Dudd season. They're the real victims here.

Can you look up for me, please, what are the greatest salary cap scandals in the history of sports? Because we're fascinated by the numbers. Juan Howard and the heat? The salary cap, yeah. After that one, Pat Riley had the famous quote that the NBA office made him feel like he had just gone back

from the proctologist, and they'd stuck a hundred-foot pole up his fore because they overrode the Juan Howard. trade, but when you guys, or the Juan Howard transaction, when you guys are cynical and understandably saying, ah, this probably happens all the time, that's one thing, I don't agree with it, because they're very vigilant

about investigating this stuff, and the penalties are harsh and will be harsh. But they did investigate this previously and found nothing, so they weren't super vigilant. No, but this is my point exactly. It's one thing to suspect it. It's a whole other thing to be able to prove it. And it's in public now,

and it feels proven. That one is what's rare about it. Like, you can have your cynicism, but Pablo actually did the work and the facts on this are something they're going to, they're going to have reverberations throughout the sport. Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan. It's also NFL season. Lots of big time matchups. You know your boy is an NFL free agent, so he's looking all across that NFL schedule for the very best games. And when I do, my very first and only stop is the game time app, because the game time app gives the advantage back to the fans. It's a hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in just a few taps.

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