The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: S.A.D.

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

P.J. Fleck's acronyms make Roy acrimonious. Pablo pushes a Japanese toilet agenda and offers to teach Chris Cote to use a bidet. The show reminisces on their prom experiences. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Dunlabel Tarsho with the Stugat's Podcast! So PJ Fleck is a bozo, and I don't use that word lightly, but I'm trying to parse the vocabulary that we're supposed to use when I get a headline as we often get these days for what a culture is like underneath a certain football coach. Did you do that ironically? He's a bozo, like, do you get the show as deep as I think you do? Because we used to have a collar or and okay, you are doing a thing?

I just wanna point out that my glasses are on because I slept in my contacts, not because I would and baked. I thought they were on, because I went to Harvard. Also that. It could be both. Heart-vert.

Day one caller, a rash, used to call PJ. He would call in just to see what's in there. He was a prophet, dude. PJ Flek is a bozo, is what he would say, and then hang up. So I just wanted to know if you were doing a thing. I was doing a bit of a thing, but also I'm trying to figure out

what the vocabulary word is, executive producer Chris Cody. For when you get a headline that says toxic culture, but there are degrees of toxic, right? And so is this an Northwestern scandal? Is this an Iowa scandal? Is this a Penn State scandal? What kind of scandal are we dealing with?

And so thank God, Lucy Rodin is here to explain our PJ Fleck correspondent. What the hell's been going on under noted Bozo, PJ Fleck, Edmina Soda. I feel like every year we get a sort of PJ Fleck hit piece where it's like that guy is crazy and toxic and a cult leader. Yeah. He always has been like, I read that whole thing was like, okay, yeah, that's PJ Fleck. That taxes in that. Exactly.

Like he's such a weird dude. Like this definitely came on the heels of Northwestern where you saw, you know, the student journalists come together and you know bring to light what was happening under Pat Fitzgerald. So it was just kind of like writing on the coattails of that. I don't think it was nearly a severe. There were definitely things in here that weren't okay. We're like, there's the Fleck bank, which is like shrewt bucks. I'm picking up on where you could like

money or whatever currency in the Fleck bank and then use it to get out of like a failed zone. Just to be clear, the type of college football coach we're dealing with is a sort of guy who brands a currency that he names after himself, that he uses to enforce seemingly serious things or at least things that are serious to him. That is so PJ Flack. He brands everything. If you go to Minnesota Stadium

and you walk underneath, there are ores everywhere because of his row of the boat, like his little saying, he loves the word elite. Like he is a cult leader when I read that term, I was like, yes. And I think the perfect example of it is the story of where he would walk into a room with his players and require them to give him a standing ovation.

If it was- This is moving too fast. Yeah, we gotta slow this down. I gotta roll the boat less fast. I need more info on these bucks. Before we get to the standing ovation, what are these called? The flex. The flex. The flex bank. I need more info on these bucks. Before we get to the standing ovation, what are these called, the fleck, the fleck bank? He was the fleck bank.

He was the fleck bank. Do you get fleck bucks that you put in the fleck bank? Maybe Fleckles. They never specified what the currency was, but it was in the fleck bank. So I imagine it is. What if it's just dollars? Yeah, maybe it's tax money. Maybe you just pay up.

Do they offer it? There it is. We were spitballing and you won. That's a good one. CDs, bonds, or is it just a savings account? Can I put my fleck bucks into mutual funds? Is the question we're asking here today on this show? But hold on.

I'm just curious. I want to know about this bank. How stable are fleck, fleck bucks, fleck coin? Well, he's been there for a couple years. So I think they're pretty stable if you're in the football program where I'm sure they carry over, but it seems like the only currency they had in this article was to get out of drug tests. So this is the key part about this exchange rate.

Is that you do good things and you get out of bad things? Yes. Which is a pretty key component, too, I think, a more crypto vibe. Like, there's a pretty key component to I think a more crypto vibe. Like there's a dark money aspect to this. It's not like when you would make a fake coupon book for your parents when you're giving them a birthday gift. And it's like one free hug. We're talking about something that's a little more deliberate in terms of what you get out of this if you're a hot football player in trouble. Yeah. P.J. Flek is absolutely a crypto

guy. You can just take one look at him and be like, yep, 100%. I think what's so interesting about this article was that, okay, if you do good, you get a Flek buck. If you do bad, you have to go through extra exercise as a punishment. And that's something that the entire Minnesota Athletics program got in trouble for a few years ago of using extra workouts and, you know,

difficult workouts as a punishment when you mess up. I think I gave my wife massage coupons like five years ago. I don't think I've ever done it. I don't think she's ever cashed them in. They've expired at this point. I mean, geez, the fine brin has an expiring. Cody Bank. Gank.

One of my favorite things was that all the acronyms that he makes players memorize, which gave me like dabbo swiney vibes. So I mean, that's not unique to PJ Flack, but one of them was fist. Family invested same time, quote, keep it tight. What does that mean? There is another one that was think, truthful, helpful, inspirational, necessary kind.

Players had to memorize these and a binder that you would give them apparently. Oh God I like that work. I mean it does feel like the floodgapes the floodgapes the floodgates have opened a bed You would have let that slide. Yeah Hartford I got one. Oh, we got sad Stupid and dumb. That's what that is. I can't tell if Roy just burned me No, not you. No, no, not you. I'm talking about the PJ flag acronym thing. That was a good one, Roy. I really was. Whether or not it was meant to be. It was the most brilliant. It hit to the core of me.

It's a high-m, sad, stupid and dumb. Look at that on a shirt. It does feel like the floodgapes have opened a bit as we get these stories and trying to figure out, as always, what are we supposed to do with this? And Lucy is indicating that PJ Fleck has been there for quite a long time. It does not feel like these rise to the level of ousting PJ Fleck. Are we fairly certain that what we're going to do today is laugh, but it's not going to result in action because this is just what a college football coach does. I don't know if that's necessarily true. So in like reading the story from fun office sports yesterday, I also read a story in CBS that said that there was a memorandum

that they received in 2018 in which a former employee warned the Minnesota board of regents of a toxic culture within the program. They said that student athletes' health and welfare were at risk. They said that Minnesota medical staffers were legally prescribing Torridol, which is something that we know is very dangerous substance to use.

And then there was another investigation by an independent firm into the culture of the football team. There was also a case in which players were suspended in 2017 after a head of a bull game following the 2016 season and retaliation to a sexual assault investigation. So there's definitely a lot of things going on around this program that need to be looked at and investigated. Whether or not it's just silly shit, like a binder full of acronyms or players being punished, via workouts and physical performance for physical, whatever, physical punishments. not earning fleck books.

Exactly. Like, those are definitely weird things. And if you want to like make fun of PJ Fleck, yeah, you probably can make fun of like 100 other college football coaches for doing that, which we should. We should make fun of all of that. Yes.

And I plan to. But it does seem like there are legitimate things and cause for concern, just like there probably are in also a lot of other college football accarounds. And I think the fact that this path, it's Gerald investigation happened and he was fired, whether or not you think like, okay, this front office board story is a little silly. There's some ridiculous claims in it. It's important. And I think good that players are willing to speak up and we can decide and universities can decide and fans can decide what we're cool with accepting in college football culture. Well, that's the moment we're in. Is that we're doing this exercise we have to figure out like,

are we going to increase our sensitivity to things that would be objectively absurd to do in a normal workplace. And so with PJ Fleck, what I find myself wondering is, okay, we're at this moment where the floodgates are opening and a lot of room is one of those places where there are a zillion sources. You know, like it's easy to,

I'm not taking it's easy to break these stories, it's taken quite a bit to get to the point of a front office sports headline, which we're gonna talk about today for quite a bit because there's a lot of funny and a lot of potentially disturbing as just was alluding to. But it's also the thing of there are so many former players and all of them went through this. That's the point.

They all had to be indoctrinated into the culture of PJ Fleck and it feels like the numbness that college football has to even the stupid shit that I cannot believe is real. These acronyms, this bank, it just feels like College Football itself is not there with PJ Fleck has to go. He's not leaving. Yeah, no, there's no way he doesn't keep his job after this because like I mentioned earlier,

stuff like this comes out about PJ Fleck all the time. He's a very notably weird odd dude. My first word to describe him or two words would be cult leader. And that's what they call the leader. Your numbness, by the way, Justice Point, our collective numbness to like, yeah, he's a cult leader. He's a little disturbing. I think all college football coaches are.

I also feel like all college football fans are also like- Cultists. Cultists in the cult. Yep. I also, I should clarify, the sexual assault thing was at Minnesota was something that happened that was why PJ Fleck was brought in that didn't happen while he was coaching there, but I'm pointing that out to point out the fact that these are things that have happened within the program in the past decade.

He's been there since 2017, and so calling into question his punishment, his letting players play despite drug tests and all of these things are questioning if he's the right person to bring into a program that is going through this humongous humiliation and scandal and whether or not anything has changed in Minnesota since he was brought in. So what I did not appreciate until just now, I did not know this context, is that PJ Fleck, the Fleck bank was founded in response to a scandal that was disturbing enough to get the previous regime outstead. And if that's part of the story,

this system in which I'm just trying to put together the exchange rate. So if you did community service, if you visited patients at the University of Minnesota Medical Center with PJ Fleck, you got Fleck Bucks, you got Fleck Coin. You got drugs. And in exchange, you got to redeem that for drugs. Awesome.

There's a little stoo gots in PJ Fleck. It's gonna point that out, but you were pointing out also Lucy that PJ Fleck is a character somebody that you encountered before. Yeah, so the story I kind of mentioned earlier of the standing ovation where he will walk into a room and force everyone to stand up and cheer for him. And if it's not good enough, he will walk out and come back in.

I've known about that for years. That is not a very well kept secret. That's a very like PJ flick moment. He has this like wild persona with him. We're like before the fourth quarter of their games, he will sprint from one of the field to the next. Like he is an odd dude. That's his whole like steak. I like the idea that there's a little dabbo, sweetie and PJ Fleck. There's little stew gots in PJ Fleck. There's a little amine. I'll have some in PJ Fleck now that I'm thinking about it. My favorite dabbo, sweetie, acronym was when COVID happened and he said he created

the acronym Tigers. This is going to end real soon. Stupid and dumb said little Roy Belly down lebertard Mike Marty shot in a hammer pass to a still got. I don't know how to say that. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was not excited. I was not excited.

What? I was really pointing out that a browns legend has to work. Hold on. That was unbelievable. I already shone a hundred of them. I had to hold on. Hold on. And maybe the greatest coach that ever went to Super Bowl.

OK, wait a minute. Let's just everybody. Let's settle down. Shut it. All I hold down. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugat. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! It's not a great name. It's not a great name, but it's a very, it's the flag. It's a very, actually a good acronym first name. I like a good AJ. You think that's where his obsession with acronyms came from? Like he was PJ his whole life, so he loved to create other ones? Makes sense. PJ Fleck does sound like a person who I want to paint the picture visually of what PJ

Fleck sounds like because what he sounds like I think is what he looks like too. So Lucy, you've encountered this man before. Paint the picture of PJ Fleck for the audience please. Um, he is not the tallest man in the world. He's probably like 5'7". He is bald, like bald bald. There's not any hair on the head. He's really fit and he's like always like so energetic that even for me I I'm like, you need to chill out. That's a little too much. It does, according to Google list PJ Flick at 510, which you know you have to subtract to usually unless it's a really tall person,

like Victor, when I'm in the am I and then you have to add to yeah, high list things on it as a person who is 510 and three quarters according to my physical examination. It's very important. It's very important under six foot. Thank you. Yes, so you're five nine. No, I'm five 10 and three quarters. I'll stay up in front of a giant ruler. Are we the same hype because I've always said I'm five 11, but I believe I'm just under it. So we might be the same height. I think we might be yeah. I was like, stood next to you the other day at the soccer game. I feel like we are now that I think about it. I'm just thinking when I looked right, the people encounter you, Chris, in the world, and they're like, oh, you're taller than I thought. No, I get skinnier because my name's Fat Chris, so I generally get, wow, you're not fat.

You're just, and I'm like, you know, it's debatable. But that's what I get more than. It makes me, it's honestly one of my favorite things is, hey, Chris, good to be, you're, hey, you're not that fat, thank you. Roy's judgmental. Huh, he said a lot there. What's up Roy?

What do you get in public Roy? Like when people meet you. Probably I'm tall, I didn't want to talk. We are a tall show. I get that a lot. I get that a lot. I think the other people are tall. Yeah.

You get a lot that the levitars of tall show. Those people, all of you, you know, here's anything. Those people. I get a lot of your taller thanards of Tall Show. Those people, I'll see you here as anything. Those people. I get a lot of your taller than I thought, which is a real mixed compliment because it indicates that. You give off short. That's not great. That's not great, Chris.

It's not good when the truth of me is more impressive in reality because the fraction, the number of people who meet me in reality is a fraction of a fraction of the number of people who encounter me in the medium in which, quote, I give short, what's the best example of this in like media or maybe just celebrity of somebody who is way shorter or taller than we expect them to be? Well, we went through it a bit when Meena Kimes did next to Bryce Young and it sort of affected his draft stock for a bit. And people are like, holy shit.

He's affected his draft stock until he was drafted first of all. Yeah. He's a real underdog story. Meena was wearing heels is what Bryce Young had to say to his agent. Would you like some of my nominations for other bad names of Christ? Chris, great producing. Thank you. This one, I don't feel that strongly about him.

I could put this one on number four. Matt Rule, because he has an H in it. Wait, are we doing it top five? No, I don't have five. I have a five for you. All right, let's do it. Number five. You'll be the first. You'll be the first.

Great producing. Thank you. Number five. Matt Rule, because there's an H in it. It's just like, he has to get that. Why does it, your name is Rool. Like, Rool. Rool. Yeah. NumberL. ROOL. ROOL.

Yeah. Number four. Biff Poggy. Biff Poggy. Who is Biff Poggy? He is the head coach at Charlotte. Huh. My friend.

Number three, Luke Fickle. Biff Poggy. He's like always your personality, Fickle. Yeah. He's just unsure. But there's two else. Right. So you just came up with that on the fly just now? Yeah.

Yeah. Number two. P.J. Fleck. P.J. Fleck. P.J. Fleck. And number one, Sonny Cumbi. P.J. Fleck.

P.J. Fleck. P.J. Fleck. Liseanna Tech Coach. Son Cumbi. Cumbi. It's a weird name. Yeah, it's a weird name. I mean, yeah. And it's, Suncombe. Cumbi. It's a weird name. I mean, yeah.

And it's an i-e. Cumbi. Coach Cumbi. Coach Cumbi. Yeah, yeah, I can see that one. So another acronym that PJ Fleck was using, Family f dot a dot m dot i dot l dot y dot. We got that part, thank you.

Forget about me. Very producing. I love you. I like that he was like, oh, I'll why I Lee. All right, I'll keep that one. What should I, what should I make that? There's a little Chris Cody and BJ Black. Now that we're sounding all of this out. What's wrong with that? Huh? So to the point that we were raising earlier, I am looking through this front office sports story, which again is worth worth reading even as we're growing numb to all of these allegations all of these sources that are just former players that are legion in college footballs everybody is sort of like looking back on their time and thinking was that toxic and in fact yes the people in charge of the university of Minnesota the athletic department they say that PJ Fleck is a guy that they stand by they don't feel like this is an ouster mark coil the athletic department, they say that PJ Flek is a guy that they stand by. They don't feel like this is an ouster.

Mark Coil, the athletic director said, PJ and our program are unique. They put themselves out there in new and different ways but always in a first class manner. After nearly seven years, it's clear to me that is what makes PJ and our program so successful. So what? They never beat Iowa.

Literally, I don't think PJ Flek ever has. So what happens from here? Do we get more stories like this? Does the Fleck bank get shut down? Like, to what extent is there enough humiliation to change any of the things that we consider humiliating? The timing of this is perfect because today is Big Ten media days.

We will hear from PJ Fleck today. So we will get his response, which he loves to talk. So I have a hard time believing he's not going to say anything. Yeah. I want to hear from a rash. Can we get a rash? I mean, it's just like, this is his day. I know. I thought 10 years ago when he was way ahead of his time with PJ Flex of Bozo. And we were always just like random coach to just kind of take a shot at, but it was this thing and we liked it. And look at him. He's got to be a fist bump. Was he like

a Eastern Michigan fan or something? I think he looks back. I don't know. I don't know. I think he was in New York. What was a rash? His username because I believe a rash used to send me tweets. And I'm trying to look for those tweets. I'm trying to get the Arash Uvra to figure out what else he had in his bag of prophecies. That's the get of all gets today in sports. Arash, the limited edition of color. Can you explain a rash? Because I think there are a lot of people. You guys, we are in this big fancy studio and a new building in Miami.

It's metal-lark media now. A rash is from an era that predated all of this. And I don't want to presume that even people in the local hour know his legend. You're right. Most people probably don't. Jess is looking at me like, what the hell are you guys doing? Right. Lucy is new here. She's another.

We used to take calls. The local hour would just be like Mike, me, Billy, Roy, and it would just be, and then we would take calls, and it was just fun. We had a lot of community of colors, a rash being one of them, steak sauce, of course. Yeah.

Morgan from Australia. It was a time in our show. And we still get a lot of tweets, you know, longing for calls, you know, but that's a Billy specialty. You can't do calls without Billy because no one can keep a caller on the line too long like Billy. Well, actually, you can't can't do calls at all because we don't have phone lines. That's also another hurdle we're getting over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're bringing it back a landline. You guys miss doing calls. It seems kind of like a little dangerous game.

It was dangerous. And, you know, like I said with Billy, like there would be times when some of us are like, I think we should move on from this call. And Billy would be like, no, what'd you have for breakfast? Yeah, I just like, what do you think? Like kill us? I'm crazy follow up. It was Billy being Billy.

I miss Billy. I was Billy doing. I feel like we have not talked enough about how Billy has a new child. I think it's going well. I mean, I've just shared a few texts with them. I haven't, you know, I'm letting him have his space at this time, but I believe he's expected back. What? I'm letting him have his space at this time. I'm not like bombarding him daily. We're not making him go to a 24 hour live marathon four days after the birth of his child. Why did Chris sound like he was writing a press

release for a college football coach who just got shamed by a front office sports article? I don't know why. I think what he said was appropriate. Yeah, I just, I just, I give you time. Someone says, I'm giving him the phrase, I'm giving space in this time. I think it's the in this time as well as the space. I'm not proud of it. I was just kind of scrambling. Like, it's not a sentence I would normally say. Like, it's a great call up by you. But I do, I stand by the sentiment of it. And I'm just talking weird back to you. I do want to say congratulations to Billy. We miss him around here.

I've been hosting shows and I'm like, oh, there's a void in which I could feel a lack of energy, a lack of energy that could only be filled by a person who wants to keep a collar on a line for way too long. Well, that was my impression of Billy. That was? Lucy, can you be Billy for the show today? Just be pessimistic, right? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I can happen. I can also ramble about something really weird that is kind of vaguely interesting, that we think will get more interesting, but then doesn't? What's the most obscure thing that's happened to you the last couple days? Most obscure thing. Like, you in an elevator and then like a button thing happened.

You like, say something mean about Tony. Yeah. I like Tony. You're the bad Billy. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a very good Billy impression there.

First words, I like Tony. That's Billy would never say that. It's a complete opposite of a Kielmo. Nice try though. What I do think Billy and Lucy have in common though is a certain personable aspect. Because I don't know, would Billy be the type of person

to find a potential best friend on Bumble best friend? Is that the name of the app? I like Billy. Would like the idea of it. He'd join the app, but then he would swipe no for everyone because he'd be afraid. He would just think,

no, this person won't like me. No, they won't like me. He's like doing it on himself. He's basically assessing himself from the person he's looking at's point of view. And he's just like, they would never like me. They would never like me. They wouldn't, so he's swiping no to everyone,

but based on what they think of him. I also don't get the impression he wants to make new friends. No. He seems content. He is. He's like, come in, get home, no socializing. Now, even if he was discontent, he wouldn't want to make new friends. Sad. S-A-D.

Earlier. Stupid and dumb. Earlier in the week, we talked about how Lucy is in fact in that way, the opposite of Billy Gill. She is actively seeking out best friends. She is surfing. I don't know if you, what do you surf in the world of apps? Do you surf the app net?

She is on apps looking for a best friend. And there was a, there's an uncomfortable moment where we had to figure out Lucy sending this text to a potential best friend that she just went on a best friend date with. Would she get a response back? And Lucy Rodin, how is that friendship going? I have plans tonight. I got a text back. Look at me, so many friends. I'm so popular. It's insane.

More on Lucy Rodin's best friend after the break. Don Lebertard. Well, Charlie has sent this as far as I know, so just Charlie's title in my book is You gonna stay in the big stugats? How familiar were you at the time with Chubacca? You're upbringing how much Chubacca in it? This is the Don Lebatar Show with this stugats! The vibes continue to be good when Chris Cody is our executive producer. We should all admit this. You're right. The vibes are great when I'm in charge. Good producing Chris. I love Chris Cody. I think we all do. He sits in that chair, he has a vague idea of how this job works. But he's always smiling and that makes me feel better as I sit alone on the other side of the glass.

Talking about, what's it like being in that room alone? It's pretty lonely. I mean, it's here. Look, I have resisted the urge to feel like Dan in any way as I sit in this chair. My whole goal as a substitute teacher is to bring the opposite vibes of Dan. I love Dan, had dinner with Dan last night. Dan, I hope you're enjoying your vacation from the show. Who paid? When I say dinner, we mostly just ate chips at his apartment. I actually didn't even get food really. I just ate a lot of his chips. So you wanted to make the evening you had with him seem cooler? Yeah, I did. By saying you went to dinner with him. Yeah. No, I think by saying you went to his apartment, now you think you seem like you're in the entertainment- So you were trying to make it seem less cool.

It was so cool that you're like, I can't say I was eating chips and next to Dan's wall waterfall. You'll tell me, you'll win. Yeah. How is this, is it like, is there any new additions? There are more plants. More coins.

There are more plants. The pond. Um, you have them with a coin pond? Yeah, obviously. What do you guys think Dan's apartment is like? Well, I've heard that there's a waterfall in it. There is a waterfall. Koi pond.

A wall of water at least. I've been in it. So yeah, you're right. There's a waterfall on the wall. Oh, in it. Yeah. I was just like, I'm picturing it being this thing. You can't even get in.

And I'm picturing Roy walking in his living room. Just taking over shirt. Like it's a pool day. It's like Roy. It's honestly, I'm picturing it being this thing you can't even get in and I'm picturing Roy walking in his living room just taking over shirt like it's a pool day. It's like Roy. It's honest. No. I'm picturing a lot of cats. There is one cat. No, there's like five or six. But a cat's relatively new though. Like he's really a dog person. That's plural. The cats came with the relationship. And there's the dog that he brings the publics. I didn't know. I so Dan is a dog bringer. Dan's a dog bringer. So I so that he brings the publics. I didn't know. So, Dan is a dog bringer. Dan's a dog bringer. So, I so. Yeah. Into publics. Uh, she's never been in publics. Right. But she's been shopping in a lot of stuff. I'm not like even judging that. I just,

it's just something. It's just a note. You can judge it. It's just a note. He also let his dog poop in publics. Yeah. Remember? Oh, wait, what was that? I missed that one. Not public. It definitely happened. It's public. That was him. Wow. So, Dan's apartment does have a wall of water. It does have a pool table with blue felt.

It does have a cat. It does have a dog. It does have various arcade games. It does have a view of the beach. There's an important question about this pool table. Is it used as just storage? Is there just shit all over it? Or is there just like, is the rack set?

And it's like the white ball's there. It's like ready to go. that use that's just storage? Is there just shit all over it? Or is there just like, is the rack set and it's like the white balls there? It's like ready to go. You have Dan sitting like right next to it, waiting for someone with a pool queue just like chalk in his pool queue. No, I just imagine it's, oh, like, Yeah, it's covered in garbage.

Yeah, it's covered in stuff. Yeah, yeah, totally unusable. Cat hair. Lucy, as we pivot from Dan's, I feel bad how much I did on Dan's apartment just that. I felt like I just broke a trust. No, no, no, no. We've done hours on Dan's.

Oh, right, his bidet. Yeah. He does have a bidet. Yeah. So by the way, my work when you have a bidet, like can anyone use my bidet or my bidet is for me only? Great question. I was afraid to use Dan's bidet.

I've never used one. Chris, I've been in hotels. You scared of them? It's a little intimidating. I've been in hotels. You scared of them? It's still intimidating. I've been in hotels that have them and I've just been too afraid. And it's not something you can have someone walk you through. You just gotta be alone with a bidet.

You have a YouTube, like how to use bidet. What do you have me for? What kind of person you think I am? I'm not a big YouTube. Unless I'm building something, I'll try it. I'll see how it goes. It's a last resort for me to like, no, YouTube, let's plop this video up. All right, step one, I hate these videos.

These YouTube videos that are just how to do the most mundane things. It's just annoying. Hey, thank you for joining my channel today. Please subscribe so we can keep giving you videos just like this. Just always annoying those videos. YouTube.com slash let me tell you. Yeah, subscribe to our shit. But like speaking of how to use a bidet.

Not with DIY or I guess. Mm-hmm. Chris, I will teach you how to use a bidet. Part of my goal here as an American citizen is to spread the religion of the Japanese toilet. The bidet is one thing, okay? And I can teach how to use that. But to me, the perfect evolution of the toilet is the Japanese toilet. The bidet is one thing, okay? And I can teach how to use that. But to me, the perfect evolution of the toilet

is the Japanese toilet. Why is Roy laughing? I'm talking to Lewis. Apparently, a lot of us in this studio are not very do-it-yourself savvy. You don't say. Yeah, well, I guess I'm the only one. What do you do yourself?

Well, I can fix door locks, door locks, I can build shows, you know, and that sort of thing. You can fix door locks. I'm gonna need that right now, honestly. My front door's been all like shimmy. I gotta like, shimmy it to get it open. Yeah. My door now is actually shaking right now.

I gotta get that fixed. Revening stuff, guys. Well, I gotta pull this conversation because of Pablo's. I did, give reducing by a minute. It's Pablo's fault. A Japanese toilet, okay. We should all have them.

A Japanese toilet is a toilet that sprays water at your butt so that you don't need to get up. How many miles per hour? It's variable. There are different speeds. There are multiple speeds. You can choose the speed at which the water fires at your butt. You seem like a three-quarters guy. Yeah, I put speed at which the water fires at your butt. You seem like a three quarters guy.

Yeah, I put the pedal to the metal. I wake up. Splash. That happens and it saves me time. I feel great. I just don't know why we're not doing it collectively as a nation. We have to moisten the toilet paper at some point. Why don't we just cut out the middle man?

Tell me why Japanese toilets shouldn't be everywhere. It saves time, it's easier, it's healthier. I'm not sure if there's a reason other than American laziness. That YouTube video will crush though, if you vividly showing me how to use a bidet. All right, we're gonna do that on youtube.com slash levitator and friends later.

Lucy, when you go on a best friend date and you don't know how to follow up, tell me about your strategy for a successful follow-up date. Well, I'm usually pretty good at the follow-up. Like, I don't mind texting somebody, even if I did it the first time, so I'll just straight up and ask. It's really not that hard.

It's like if you want to see somebody again, just ask them to do stuff, you know? This is a key distinction, I think, between Lucy and a lot of people. It's not rocket science. Social interaction. Just a true enthusiasm for the unknown, putting yourself out there, risking the fact that maybe

they don't like the fact that Lucy Rodin has a collection of objects in her apartment that does resemble a floodruckers. If they don't like that, I don't want to be friends with them. She didn't get the high heel chair though. Yeah, thanks for bringing that up Chris. Thanks. She tried to, she has a gumball machine,

she has a large crann, and she went thrifting this pass, I follow her on Instagram, this past weekend, and she went to this place and she saw this high heel chair for what, a hundred bucks? 110. 110 bucks, but she's like, you can't pay over a hundred bucks for something at a thrift store, so she left, but, but she's like, you can't pay over 100 bucks

for something at a third store, so she left. But then the internet's like, you got to get that. You're going to miss out, you can't miss out on this opportunity. So she went back and some lady was currently like, she saw a lady walking out with the chair. She missed it. And then she looked online and found much better conditioned chairs of the same chair, but not as much more expensive. So it's just, she's in a real pickle right now. Does she overpay for that same chair somewhere else? Does she just wait till the next good chair?

When you said she's in a real pickle right now, I imagine her sitting in a giant pickle chair. Well, if they have those, she'll buy that too. I'm just saying, what other chairs did they have in the chair section? They had nothing cool. I will say, one of the more surprising and delightful parts of starting this job is every single time

any of the listeners see a weird chair online, they send it to me. So I got tagged in this like Raising Cain's Bread Chair picture, like 50 times yesterday. There's them. Wow, that bread's so good. It's really cool. I haven't seen the bread chair.

I haven't either, but I love that bread at that place, so. As Lucy goes and finds a picture of the bread chair to show us and our video team, I do wanna point out that the range of collections that people have never ceased to amaze me. There are a lot of weird collections out there, some alarming, some normal. You can't be a chair collector though.

If you have too many, you don't want to have too many just different types of chairs. I just think too many of anything is weird. And I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it's weird. What is the most alarming thing you can collect? Well, what is PJ Fleck collect? It's PJ Fleck. It's a lot of fleck.

Collector of all of these things, what has he got? There was a tweet once about him having a very expensive knife set that has now been deleted, and I'm trying to find it because there were, for some reason when the story came out yesterday, I was like, I remember him being a expensive knife guy, which is kind of like, on the one hand, like, I have a couple expensive knives that, when you have one really good knife or two really good knives, you have a couple expensive knives that when you have one really good knife or two really good knives, you don't need other knives. That's all you need.

And I got one as a gift, and so I get having a expensive knife. I don't really understand having multiple expensive knives, and so that is something I'd file under. If it's true, which I do not know, a strange collection. Kind of like having a bunch of ninja stars. Well, obviously, the obvious ones are are if you collect a bunch of odd weapons or body par, obviously there are some obvious weird, like we're trying to come up with what is the

oddest thing you can collect. And we're eliminating body parts and weapons. We're eliminating Chris Wittingham's entire contents of his ability. Everything Chris Wittingham collects, that's obviously weird. What's the more obscure thing that you could collect that'd be like, that's interesting. Like, what if I was a pineapple collector? Well, that's a swanher. Well, that's upside down in my shopping cart. So I've heard.

Yeah. I feel like the old timey examples, the stamp collectors. And I feel like if you collect stamps in this day and age, like that's really weird. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Part of my estate sale journey is you get to see people's collections. So like, one time I went to a house and it was all birds. Everything there was like bird shaped

and like little bird figurines. The ones that always weird me out are the very old like Victorian doll collections. They'll have like hundreds of them lining the wall and they make you so uncomfortable. My mom does these like weird like pig things. She's got these like this like whole shelf glass and Kate like this glass case with shelves

of just these little tiny like pig little figurines. Like pig figurines? Yeah, like they're breakable. Like they're, I don't know where. So there is like that category of people who collect certain like ceramic figurines. Crystal figur yeah, we've been to those houses, right? We all have like there's the display case It's glass it is protected as if it's a museum piece and you look inside and it's like tiny useless useless knick-knacks Right, I had a friend growing up who her grandmother collected all of those kind of tiny

growing up who her grandmother collected all of those kind of tiny crystalline little figures and gave them to my friend. And that was a mistake because we were wrestling once in her room and we accidentally knocked over. Yeah, we used to beat each other up. It was a whole thing. It was like, girl, you were running a toxic culture inside of your socket game. Being a teen girl is a very, yeah, we used to fight. And we knocked them all over and they shattered.

And it was heartbreaking and devastating to our family. They're breakable to Coker's Cody. You're better with words than I. Not today. Don Lebertard, number three, Chick-fil-A waffle fry. Yeah, we can get my ass. Love it. I mean, I think it's an overrated.

You guys go catch up or Chick-fil-A sauce when you have the chick-fil-A Polynesian sauce. I'll leave you be that's my brother right there. Good call. You're my brother. Stugats. Oh my god What a weird interaction Wow, this is the down-lebertar show with his two cats. A little bit of cleanup, Arash from New York at Arash from New York has been in fact tweeting me this entire time. He tweeted me yesterday. So he's listening?

He's, he, he heard all this. I'm so glad that makes me happy. He did hear it all this. What he said, what he said to me wasn't response to the big old picture and he taunted me about how I was transforming into the pill It's not that funny Royce's laughing. I love Royce so much He's never made a mistake before this one ever. No, no, no, don't get defensive over there. No, I know you dare get defensive Just living my life before this one. I've never seen it. No, no, no, don't get defensive over there. No, no, it's you dare get defensive over there.

Just living my life. Weird. Back to Eras. Eras has been taunting me. I want Eras to know if he's listening out there that we want him to figure out a way to call in. We'll put him on speaker phone. I want him to have his moment in the sun.

When people in this community, I'm going to follow Eras back number one. And I want him to have his moment in the sun because he was a profit on a story that in fact has been a top story in sports today. Another top story in sports today in the world of college football is Colorado and the big 12. Now Colorado and the big 12 on paper, that headline, it sounds boring as hell.

I say this as somebody who's like, oh, college football, realignment again, great. It is like not the most riveting topic, especially because they won't actually be playing in that conference for another year or so. So can you explain to me what Lucy Rodin finds interesting about Colorado and the big 12, such that when I came into the office today, you were like, I got you on Colorado and the big 12. I think what's so interesting about it is this is going, we saw everything sort of start

with Texas, no, Oklahoma leaving for the SEC. This is another one of those like, you know, tipping point events where if you think Colorado is the only team from the pack 12 that's going to move to the big 12, that's, that's just not going to happen. You're going to see, I think three other teams teams, Arizona, Arizona, state, and Utah, all jump ship and go to the big 12 now. And watching the demise of the PAC 12, like, I don't know why it makes me happy in a weird way, just because it's funny, but it is really fun. But it's kind of sad. It is a little sad how pathetic it is, right? It's so wild to watch

the way a conference just sort of imploded the way the pack twelve did and you're seeing that continue on with colorado leaving this conference that last week their commissioner came out and said nobody's leaving were very confident that everyone's going to say and then literally a week later color i was like happy so i went on but didn't the pack twelve they went under this i mean every conference right like with their trying to figure out is how are we a modern business in this changing sports landscape? TV media rights deals are adjusting. There is a great centralization when it comes to super conferences. Obviously, they want to get more money in exchange for these media rights. And so how would you say the Pact 12 has adjusted to this?

What has their strategy been and why has it been a thing that you just pointed at and laughed at now? Their strategy has been like, let's do the dumbest thing possible. I feel very bad for their current commissioner, George Cleiakoff, because he's not the one who's messed everything up. Yes. Who are we blaming here? Larry Scott was the Pac-12 commissioner, like before Cleiakoff, and he was so bad at his

job. He took what was a conference that should have had the best TV rights deals and turned it into this just giant failure of an operation with trying to create this like Pac-12 network where you couldn't even watch the games. It was a whole just like terrible system. So much so that USC UCLA left for the Big 10 because that's where the money is.

And now you're seeing every other program leave because the Pac-12 still does not have a media deal yet. And they keep saying, like, don't worry, it's gonna come the longer we wait, the better it's gonna get. That's not how that works. Like, I don't feel confident that you're just like waiting for the right offer.

Nobody wants you. And so where does the Pact 12 wind up? In the musical chairs of media rights deals, where you have buyers certainly with the SPN, Fox, what does the Pac-12 do at this point? If Lucy, if you're advising the Pac-12, what as a social media internet savvy young person, where are you putting the Pac-12 media rights deal? You just need to take the next offer that comes, honestly, because ESPN and Fox are both

going to give them pretty low ball deals, but that's about all you comes, honestly, because ESPN and Fox are both gonna give them pretty low ball deals, but that's about all you have right now, because we're hearing rumors that it could be on Ion Network, and even with their last negotiations, there was something about them trying to get like, discovery and discovery didn't want them. You don't have this wide space of opportunities that you think you do.

Nobody is asking you to the prom. You need to go out and just be forward and take the invite, just take your cousin to prom. It's gonna be fine. No one will know. It seems like a packed 12 thing to do, honestly. We, we, we, we, not a SEC, after wrecking. What do you say?

We have to wreck in, say, Roy. We, we, we, we, we, we'll play in. We have to wreck in with prom etiquette now. How has the prom been? So the idea of the prom, it feels like as American institutions go, the prom has been a thing that has changed very little. Is that fair to say? Like the whole notion of there is one event and you are building up to it and if you don't have a date

You probably want to consider taking a cousin because it's actually less embarrassing To have a cousin as opposed to no one are these references like I grew up watching movies about prams It informed how I felt about my prom and now I'm wondering if all kids today are still living the same sorts of expectations. I feel like they are. My brother was, he'd like just graduated high school like two years ago. He was a COVID prom. So they had like a, it wasn't even a real prom. I was like a some rich parents threw a prom for everyone because they weren't allowed to have one.

Top movies with prom in it. What do you, what do you go to? And I just like hit you with that. Can't hardly wait. It was back to the future camp. Yes. Absolutely. Me and girls put in their grease.

Take me inside Chris Cody's prom. I went with a friend at an, at an have a date. It was kind of a sad. It was kind of like a pity, a pity, a safe space, Chris. No, no, no, it was like, I, pity, a pity, it's a safe space, gross. No, no, no, it was like, it was like, I, all like. So you were the Pac-12 and she was Ion, I guess?

It was like, there was a group of friends and I was like, I wasn't even gonna go and then one of my friends, like friends in the group was just like, hey, you have, like, I'll go with you if you want to, I was just like, all right, we'll go. And I just went with a friend and then like, I left after, I went and hung out with my own. I had friends outside of my high school.

Then anyone have this where it's like, I had my in-school friends, but the people I actually hung out with on the weekend were more outside of school friends. So I had this weird thing, I didn't really want to go to prom because my crew was not really at my school. So I was like, I'll go with you.

Did you ever consider going to that school's prom? I did go to another prom actually with the girl I was. To three proms. What? Wow. So you're like the opposite of course you did. I just had a lot of friends. That has changed. Did you go like, did you like me? Did you ever go with someone as just a friend? I think all of my prom dates were a couple. right. That's why I think that's more common than all though. They're now finding that out. Oh, they thought. Yeah, I don't know. I don't

think she came to me with the, hey, we could just go as friends things. So I don't think she thought I was being weird about it. But that's usually the way it is. But my point that I'm bringing up is that even in Chris telling that story, there is a realm of vulnerability that he just re-entered to remember this. Like I myself, right? I took my brother-in-laws sister's friend. So you did the same type thing? I'm not above this. I'm not above this, guys. We all just want to be a part of the thing. We just want to be just present enough to not be embarrassed period.

It was awkward. The picture time was a little awkward. Yeah, what, okay. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, and we're just more kind of like, you know, like we're like we're taking a team picture together. Like next to each other, but not connect. You're like kneeling holding a basketball. Right. The stance is never right. And there's like cute for I still got her a massage. So it's like I felt weird. Crossed. Got her a cross. Like a corsage.

Crossed. Did I put an arm shape? I am. Like I said, I know how things are supposed to be said, but I say them wrong. I know it's corsage. Right. Perseige, right? There's no art. Corsage. Corsage.

It was corsage. That's right. You guys are making me corsage. I mean, I thought you sounded like it was a French. Lemonated. You had it as a thing that Lucy Rodin would have in a display case in her home. It's a corsage.

There you go. Corsage. I know how things are set, but then I just say them poorly. I'm telling you. I've heard that already. What the point is, Chris, that we've all come from a place of vulnerability. We felt the pressure.

And the pressure of a photo at prom. Did you guys see the video? There's a, oh God, I hate, I'm doing this to the video department, and I apologize. There's the video of Seamool You and Ryan Gosling at the Barbie red carpet. You saw this video?

I did see this on Twitter. He was like, take your hand off my lower back kind of thing. Seemoo Liu went to do the thing where you put his hand behind Ryan Gosling's lower back to establish that we are in fact close personal friends who do this intimacy. And Ryan Gosling on the red carpet did something that I was trying to figure out

if it had any sense of humor behind it, it actually just felt like a really doing that dude, and Seemu took the hand back and I felt a degree of second hand cringe that I've seldom felt in my life. Photo posing is hard man, especially when you have to shrink back because the alpha in that dynamic says we're not doing that here. I was on my cruise doing the family stuff

and like the person taking the pictures is like trying to like coach me. So put your hand here, put the hand in the pocket. It's just like awkward. I never know what to do with my, the one hand goes around the family. What's your move, Chris? I'm generally like just a hand in the pocket,

but then my hand always looks really fat because I don't put it fully in the pocket. So it's like, it's like, and you gotta go thumb in the pocket. Right, but then sometimes only my fingers are in there but I guess just a thumb too, but I don't know it fully in the pocket. So it's like, it's like, only my, you got to go thumb in the pocket. Right. But then sometimes my only my fingers are in there. But I guess just the thumb too. But I don't know, man, it's always awkward. Maybe the hip, hand on the hip. Arms folded, really saying. So is Ryan Gosling, ESPN and Seemulu is the Pac 12 and he's trying to get close and ESPN saying, no, we actually don't want

you that close to us. In fact, we actually don't want you that close to us in fact We we don't care about you at all. I think that is a compliment to the pack 12. That's true. He's a very attractive man I do want to know what Roy's Photo approaches, right? What are you how you posing? What pose are you striking? All right? Well, it depends on a person next to me If there is a person next to me if it's just me I'm just like this whatever But if the person decides to put his arm around my shoulder, then I gotta reciprocate.

I gotta do the same thing. If not, arms folded, or maybe hands in front, or hands behind my back, you know, something like that. The photo where both people have arms over the shoulders is never a good look though. It always looks like the fake like photo, that's in a flashback in a show where someone goes missing and it's like, oh, look at these two friends hanging out, like friends do with

their arms over. Like back to the front. Roy a little advice. When they go over your shoulder, you go around their hip. Yeah. Action. Don't think that's. You don't have to make, there's not to be contact, but that's just where the hand actually

is. I'm not saying like, you know, grab, I'm just saying, just like, rest the hand a little around the waist. And I keep it under advisement. There you go. Thank you for panting, I mean, the grab, Chris. It's always awkward, the, me and Jess will do it right now. See, it's like, this is just like a weird photo. Like, it's never, I think I just tore my rotate.

Yeah. Wow.