The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The Bicycle in the Barbie Room

Episode Date: November 24, 2025

"They're becoming a T.Y.D.W.P.I.T.F.R." Greg Cote is displaying the behavior of someone who is tripping, and he's furious at his family for leaving him alone while he watched soccer. Jeremy is paying off a punishment as George Harrison, and everyone seems to like him more. Mike Ryan is continuing to defend the University of Miami, but things are starting to unravel. Today's cast: Dan, Greg, Zaslow, Chris, "Jeremy," Mike, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Folks, losing at fantasy football has consequences. It really does. I mean, a new tattoo, a bad haircut, waffle challenges. I've seen those waffle challenges. Those look delightful. You're stressing me out with that soundboard. Well, fantasy football is stressful, so stressful that it can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentech's mouthguards help with nighttime teeth grinding.

I'm actually a grinder, and it's a problem I have. And that's why Dentech wants to protect your teeth while raising the stakes with this fantasy season. This is very exciting. If you want the loser of your fantasy league to live in infamy at the 26 football all-star game, sign up for the Ultimate Fantasy Football Punishment at Dentec.com slash ultimate punishment. No purchase necessary. Open to legal residents of the 50 U.S. states and D.C. who are 21 years of age or older. Contest ends on December 8, 2025. Voidware prohibited. For details and official rules, visit dentec.com slash ultimate punishment. Boost Mobile has unlimited talk text and data plan. That's only 25 bucks a month forever.

forever, meaning you only pay $25 a month for the rest of your life. Who wouldn't want unlimited wireless when it costs $25 a month forever? If you don't, you must be one of those people who enjoy overpaying for their phone plans for their internet, for everything in their life. But it's not too late to change your ways, by the way. 25 bucks a month forever is truly as good as it gets. So go online and switch now at boostmobile.com. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds.

Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Mobile Unlimited plan. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parleyes on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else?

Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is 100% that I insist on.

completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Yeagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume imported by mass Yeagermeister U.S. White Plains, New York.

Chris, I'm worried about today's show. There's a lot going on. I believe Zaslo just snorted or cleared his sinuses. Don't wait me laugh. Okay, I think you're sick. I'm not sick. All right. So I've got, I've got

Jeremy, he is dressed in George Harrison's costume as part of his punishment. It's a bit distracting. My dad's wearing his headphones weird. I've got, well, your dad, your dad is mad about everything that happened to him yesterday in his own home, a home. He hit 1440. Which we were on video right now. Hey, Greg, are you all right? Honestly, are you okay?

Yeah, we're not on video right now, Greg. That looks like he's tripping balls. If I told you your dad was tripping balls, you'd be like that's what it looks like. Greg, do you know that the Shadow Show isn't anything but audio? like when you're making faces. Was that with your hand? Like, what were you just doing? Well, first of all, normally it starts off with Shadow Show.

I haven't done that in months. And stuff like that. We did do it last week. Defined normally. We hadn't done it. I didn't hear that. All right, so let's start over here. Chris, yes, go.

Because the Shadow show is meant to be as if we don't know we're on air. The audience comes out. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show.

Shadow in it. I'm not hearing anything. Oh, okay, all right All right, what's going on here? Is that a gaslight me? He's tripping balls, dude, that's what it is. He's tripping balls. You know how to turn up your headphones?

Born at night and out of that night, baby. He can't hear us, for real. Greg, you've got to turn up your headphone. You're not ready for the start of the show. All you've got to do is turn up your headphones. Your headphone knobs are not here. It's not on your computer. How do you know so little about what we're doing?

How do you think they're... Shadow. You hear that? I'm trying to turn up the volume, Dan. Shadow show. Somebody was sabotaging me. Seriously. Intentionally.

Zazlo, explain to people what just happened is someone who's routinely disgusted by how little Greg Cody knows about how to do this. You know this is the way I love to start the week with Cody just not understanding how to do a radiation. Greg, you were trying to fix your headphones on your computer.

It's true that someone had turned down the volume on my microphone. Why, I have no idea. Could it be sabotage? It's possible. I need to investigate. He's also mad, Chris. He's also mad. Because I got Mike. Mike is unhinged, okay? I can't harness the way Mike feels about the

University of Miami right now. This is a bad weekend for Mike. I can't do a month of this. I can't do a month of this. Well, you're about to. But Greg is enraged at what happened in his living room yesterday because he wanted messy in his living

room the best player in the world during a playoff game, and he couldn't move his family off Saints Falcons. It was so ridiculous. In the main room with our main TV, by habit, on a late Sunday afternoon, they have on Red Zone, right? So they're watching all this stuff. I hate Red Zone because 90% of the time you're watching something that doesn't really matter. You're watching Geno Smith try to evade his 10th sack of the game by Miles Garrett in a meaningless game. When in on another channel... Greg, save it. Let's start the show.

Save it. Just save it. This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast. Are you winded from watching yourself do that intro? Are you winded from in here singing to yourself? That's what just happened, isn't it, Zaslo? I think he's winded from celebrating himself. Well, who knew that pantom? miming something, lip-syncing would be so exerting, but it was. What a banger of a song,

Yeti Blanc, in the house. Even though he's not in the house, but figured it was. You're like James yesterday giving a speech. We outside, even though we're inside. Five past the hour. James was wonderful yesterday. So many wonderful trick-or-treats with James yesterday. Look, yesterday was spectacular for a number of different reasons. Like over here, Romo's telling you, Here comes Playoff Mahomes, and here comes Mahomes with the single biggest by-numbered deficit comeback in his career, because he does this the way Tebow did it. Tebow's the last quarterback to be this good in games like this, at the end of games like this when he's got a deficit of 10 or more in a game.

The football of yesterday was great, and Greg Cody was trying to watch. We're all looking around. Like, did he just compare Patrick Mahomes to Tim Tebow? Yeah, well, the number was. I mean, even your own body stopped in its tracks for like five seconds. It was a long pause. Did I really, am I about to compare the greatest quarterback we've ever seen to Tim Tebow? That pause terrified me.

I got confused. I was trying to connect the dots on that way. That's how bad of a take it was. I'm going to give you the take, Rees said a different way, but the show's moving too fast even though it hasn't started. Mahomes is now 20 and 18 in games where he's trailed by 10 or more points. 2018 for his career. It's the best quarterback record of any kind like that since Tim Tebow, who did it at five and six. Like when you're down 10 in games like this, you tend to lose them in the fourth quarter.

And that Tebow miracle, people thought he could play quarterback. You're right. You've derailed me. Yeah. The thing that happened, though, yesterday, as Mahomes is saving his season, and Romo's telling you that that guy's coming, here comes playoff Mahomes. Greg Cody is unable to get the best real. football player in the world on his television having three assists and a goal as Inter Miami wins

after a month-long wrestling match with many rest days wins the biggest game in its history and Messi is the greatest player in the world and Greg Cody could not get it on the big television in his home he was an outcast in his own home he couldn't do picture and picture he had to watch Saints Falcons yeah well I had to watch Red Zone which is worse because at Saints, Falcons, times five or six, where they're going back and forth between games I don't care about. We're good games yesterday. While the Goat of Goats, Leonel Messi, is absolutely taking the semi-final, the Eastern

conference semifinal on his shoulders, he's saying I'm 38 years old, I'm still better than you are, I'm still better than anybody. I don't know about you, Mike, but we're three years into Messi now. I still find it hard to believe that Inner Miami was able to. sign Lienel Messi and that he still is so great. So I'm trying to watch this on the big screen. Turns out we can't get Apple TV on our

big screen for some reason. I have no idea. It's above my playground. Fire stick. I don't know. Something's going on in my house. So you just can't get Apple. Inputs HDMI 2. We all know the thing. It's ridiculous all these sayings.

So I got to relegate myself to the Barbie room to watch Lienel Messi on a smaller TV. What's a Barbie? room. It's, my granddaughter, it's like a playroom. It's a combination, my wife's office

and my workout room, workout room, and the barber room. Hell yeah. You know, so anyway. So you're just sitting there with a bunch of Barbie dolls around you? Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah. It's a girl's, a little girl's room and your workout room?

I have my stationary bike in there. When's the last time that was used? Very stationary bike. I don't keep track. Well, the last time you were on it when we did the Greg Cody show, like where I walked in the room, as if I was interrupting a workout, just like a pretend workout just for the video. Don't be ridiculous. When was the last time you exercised on the bicycle in the Barbie room?

Oh, let me think. You know, let me think of an exact date. I don't know. I meant to do it over the weekend to make up for the physical therapy session I had to skip. Months ago, years ago. Oh, months ago. Weeks. Weeks sounds better.

A couple of weeks. Several days. What is in that room? Is there a recliner of any sort? Look, this is the home you, this is 1440. How long have you lived in 1440? Well, it's not literally 1440. It wants to be.

This all makes perfect sense to me. We've lived there since Christopher was a boy. At 1440 is his childhood home. Our house I live in. Catch up. It's Christopher's childhood home. My apologies. You've lived in this home for how long?

Since he was a boy. I don't know. Since I was two. 30 years. This is the home for Dolphin Sundays across three decades where you watch the game that you want on Sunday afternoon but now there are too many inputs and you can't get the real football

you are stuck with the American football when Lionel Messi best player in the world is when you say you can't get your head around it what Greg's watching on his television he covered the Fort Lauderdale strikers 50 years ago he's like what is this in Miami how is it possible that a championship can be won with this player in this town on this team. And I can't even watch it in the big room in my house.

Right. I'm in the Barbie room. What's in the Barbie room? It, you know, a bunch of toys, closet full of shoes, you know. A couch, a desk. Yeah, it's an unremarkable room. Why can't you get some control your house, man? If you want to watch messy on the big TV instead of Saints Falcons, well, part of the issue... Get some hand, man. Part of the issue is that we literally can't get Apple TV on the big TV. My mom just tells him things. But the disappointment is that nobody else

hurted with me into the Barbie room to watch... Was it one of those who's coming with me? Yeah. And they're all watching Red Zone. They're like a bunch of zombies staring at Red Zone. So you were lonely in your corner of the house, loving soccer as the rest of your family loved a different sport in another room? Correct.

But what's the seating set up in the Barbie room? If it's everybody come with me, I feel like you're sitting on a bed watching. No, there were... It's a large fold-out couch, seats three or four. chair seats won. This sounds lonely. A happy moment in Miami sports history for you

sounds like it was lonely in your own home. It was an historic win. First time they've ever been to the evening conference. When Messi scored and they went up one-nothing, did you cheer like loud so maybe others would come and see what's going on in the Barbie room? I did find myself cheering. Messy's doing it again. If you want to catch it and join me.

And nobody. Jumping Charlie wouldn't even go in? In the Barbie room. No, nobody's coming in because, you know, Jacoby Brissette is in the red zone. It's a big game, by the way. Did you see Shadour Sanders throw that bomb to number 16? I don't even know who that guy is. I did not.

The new kid just scored. The new kid with an assist, the new kid. I call him Leo. We benched wars for the kid, and the kid answered the bell. How about that, huh? Did anyone in your home step foot in the Barbie room during the historic real football being played in your lonely corner of the house? Only when my wife came in to say, when are you ready to eat? Because, you know, the egg noodles are on the boil.

Am I ready to eat? Messy's eating right now. That's his third assist. Damn right. That guy don't quit. 38 years old. A wonderful coaching job by Mascherano. I mean, it is bold to pull out Louis Swares from that starting lineup and go with the Newell's old boy signing, Mateo Silvetti.

But that bet has paid off. What are you laughing about Tony? This is great. Like, they might be making this up, and I have no idea because I was locked into Tyler Shockwell. Why were you locked into that? I mean, look, I understand. You don't like soccer. Darnarle Mooney had three for 74 to score.

It's not like the 4 o'clock hour had anything going on for it. I thought the most compelling story. Cowboys Eagles was awesome. Yeah, Cowboys Eagles was great. That's all right. That was a nice little second screen experience for me. Messy trying to win the biggest game in club history at a team that he lost 3-0 earlier in the season that didn't pop you.

I don't know what will. Mike, Michael Wilson had 10 for 118, his second game in a row with more than see. He was responsible for all four. Goals. Tyler Shuck, are you not listening to me? Scored the first one, got three assists. He's playing his best footy right now. Sander showed him what time it was. I was annoyed yesterday, man, because I haven't watched Interimami in a long time because I told you I was out on Hermione. I don't like that Suarez's behavior. They're not a likable team right now, but it was a semi-final. Wait, what you say

right now. Well, they bent Suarez yesterday. They benched them. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. They're not a likable team right now. Let's call it for what it is. You were out on this team after Suarez spit on somebody because they were representing Miami in a way that you did not like so much. They were overshadowing the best player in the world because Luis Suarez is

very publicly exhibits the behavior of an asshole internationally across oceans. Everyone knows this and they took on the personality of Lee Suarez. And they didn't condemn it either. Unlikable. Didn't condemn it. Didn't punish it. No, that's who we are. We'll spit in your face. We've got Leonel Messy. But this, by itself,

yesterday was just Leonel Messi being all the things, the majestic things that he is, to bring a signature win to Miami that you're out on because you are watching, wait, I don't understand, A.J. Brown's got 110 yards and catches. Why they lose it? I mean, this was a must win game on the road. That's how playoffs usually roll. Must win for Interimony. Okay, but it usually is key here because for some reason the first round is a series. And the more important the games get, it's not a series. I get it. I get it. Every game's do it. die right now and it was a road game in a raucous atmosphere yes in Cincinnati on a day that the Bengals played it didn't matter that that crowd was electric and the goat shut them up right

absolutely it was magical and it's always interesting to to watch and hear an inner miamiami game on the road because there are messy fans there like I'm not saying they they outnumbered Cincinnati fans but but they're everywhere I mean he is growing the sport like look this has been weirdly this is weird this is weird what I'm about to say This has been a spectacular success that isn't because they've done just about everything wrong, but they've gotten the soccer right. Like the way they've sold their sport, putting it behind a paywall, they made egregious business errors, but they've still got the best player in the world being the best player in the world

as major changes are going to come to this business. And the miracle is so, Messi's going to get that stadium built in this city next to the airport, and he's going to grow the sport in America being better than everyone else still at 38 years old. But Mike, what I'm... It's hard to quantify that when their attendances down and their TV ratings are down and MLS realizes the other ways.

And the partnership with Apple has an early opt-out that Apple has jumped at. This is not worked out the way that MLS planned for. They've decided they're going to do away with MLS season past. Basically, if you just have Apple, Apple, TV. Now you get the MLS. Oh, nice. The paywall was a huge mistake. I didn't get to watch last night.

They're back to 2021 levels of attendance, which is not what the sustainable growth model chart was telling us, because this was a live event sport. All the buzz from Messi seems to have evaporated, and they're playing their most consequential games during the NFL window.

Playoff games might have paywall's bad. But thankfully, they're altering the calendar, and it seems as though MLS is going to learn from this, but it's a shame. They've kind of wasted the messy thing. I agree. I mean, the Apple TV thing was a huge blunder. But the new stadium is Messy's legacy, and they've already set the opening date. It's April 4th. It's the holidays and the 50th anniversary of Miller Light.

Holidays are all about gathering around with family and friends, so why don't you bring out a cornucopia of that beautiful white can Miller Light or draft? Whatever it is. You know it's going to be a special time when you bring out Miller Light because Miller Light makes special time, Miller Time, whether it's a late-night hang after the holiday party or standing around a fire pit with the fam. Miller Light just fits.

It's a taste you know you can depend on, rude for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich balanced toffee notes, and that iconic golden color. And at 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, it lets you enjoy the season without weighing you down. The original light beer since 1975 and still hidden different, 50 years later.

The best holiday beers are the ones you don't expect. Miller Lite, great taste 96 calories. Go to Miller Lite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller Time!

Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories, and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Hey everyone, it's Jeremy here, and I want to talk to you about Black Friday Game Day because Black Friday Game Day is coming to crime with an epic day of live sports. Black Friday football is back with the Chicago Bears taking on the Philadelphia Eagles at 3 p.m. Eastern.

That's followed by an Emirates NBA Cup double header. Bups Knicks at 7 p.m. and Mavs Lakers at 10 p.m. And the whole day starts with the Capital One Skins game as four elite PGA golfers meet with $4 million on the line. Black Friday Game Day, the Capital One Skins game at 9 a.m. Bears Eagles NFL action at 3 p.m. And the final night of Emirates NBA Cup group play with Bucks Nix at 7 and Mavs Lakers at 10. Only on Prime.

Game time is the official ticketing partner of the Dan Levitart show, and I cannot wait to get out to some NFL games this season. As a games increase in importance, the tickets are harder to come by, and nothing beats being in that stadium with everybody losing their minds. But like I said, tickets? Not so easy.

So why don't you download the GameTime app? Because from my experience, that's where I always turn to find the best deal. But take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets. Game Time gives the advantage back to us, the fans. It's a hack for grabbing amazing tickets in just a couple of taps. Super easy to use, totally trustworthy. And the Game Time guarantee means you're getting 100% authentic tickets on time and at the best price.

And yes, fees included. What you see is what you pay. Take the guest work out of buying NFL tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code D-A-N for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go. Download the Game Time app today.

Don Lebertard. I feel like we need to normalize saying the scientific terms for organs on the air. Like if someone, yes. You know what? If someone takes a foul ball to the penis, we should just say he took a foul ball to the penis. Stugats. That freak kick hit him right in the cockado doodle do.

This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. The new stadium is Meggy's. No, it is not. It's legacy's messy. No, in this town perhaps. Right. The new stadium. is Messi's legacy.

Yeah, in this time. But do you realize what the size of your career has to be for you to birth a stadium near the airport? That's very expensive real estate. Like, you've birthed the possibility of sports getting grand in your market while you were taking the best player in the world and renting him to Fort Lauderdale for a couple of years while telling people, no, we got a billion-dollar business down here. Wait, watch, watch what we can make down here with the real estate. They've made it a success in Miami, and that might be his legacy in Miami. but doing what this man has done at this point in his career to grow the sport and having the business betray him behind a paywall because not everyone has known that it's happening to see the best being the best behind a paywall but then so many of your fans getting cut out by a line of we can't keep paying for this

Zaslow is out on Inter-Maiami early. Mike was in on Inter-Maiami early, and slowly they greeted him out, and he's still interested, but the business of it was like, this is no longer affordable to me. Miami is gouging me for Fort Lauderdale games at Miami prices. Right. No, I can't disagree with any of that. So look at what surrounds Messi as he does the most amazing things behind a paywall at this age.

He's denied the credit of being able. to break into your American football Sunday because, hey, holy shit, Messy's over there and he's scoring the goals in a playoff game. Like, that's not a normal thing. What happened yesterday was one of the biggest international sports things that has ever happened in Miami. That's one of the greatest postseason performances in Miami sports history. It's like we talk about LeBron game six. You talk about Sam Reinhart in back-to-back cup clinching games. What Messi did in the Eastern Conference semifinal is an all-time. Miami's sports postseason performance.

Yeah, but he has to do it two more times to get full credit. Okay, but hold on before you do that, because yes, okay, do it two more times, fine. It couldn't even make its way into Saints Falcons in your living room, this thing that to you, as a lifelong sports writer, when I say it's lonely, it must have felt to you that the other half of your house has no respect for South Florida history. Well, what it felt like to me is that my house at that moment was a microcosm of America, because I don't. Don't it. Dan's so full of shit. He was watching Tyler Shuck, too. Don't let him do this.

Tyler Shuck? He's trying to make this bigger than it is. I understand. Look, it's the NFL. It's Inter-Miamy versus Cincinnati. Dan didn't watch a second of that game. Don't want him to do it. He's doing the writer thing. Wanting to frame it. Put me in the Barbie room. You don't like soccer. I get it. You're not an ally. I get out of here. But the problem is that's indicative of America at large. The NFL is still way up here. and MLS, even with Lionel Messi, is down here. It's a shame that you have such a big game in the heart of the Eagles Cowboys, but that's the Eastern Conference semi.

What a comeback. They'll play in the Eastern Conference final. Hopefully after that they'll play in an MLS Cup. And every casual fan understands that Messi has to win the MLS trophy. So he's a couple of games away from doing that right now, and he's playing his best football on the business end of the season. Right, especially after what happened. the flame out early in the playoffs last year. But you know my wife, she loves sports,

she knows sports. She could not name who they were playing yesterday. Like she had no idea in her Miami was in the playoffs. She had no idea where they were playing, whether it was home or away. You know, and I think that's indicative of MLS, even with MLS, imagine without them, still has to make inroads that it hasn't made yet into the American sports consciousness at large. Cody has, at his disposal, you know, he is against metrics. He has told you a number of different times. We give you way too much information in sports. Don't tell me how many miles per hour this leaves the ballpark. Don't tell me the pace of speed that the Miami Heat are playing in or how many miles they run. Yeah. How many miles? That's my favorite. He ran 3.8 miles in this

game. This is the highest tempo team there is in the sport. They're going to play faster than everyone else, and Norman Powell is putting up like Yontas. That's my dog. Janus onto ticompo numbers in terms of efficiencies. MVP. Well, okay, but so you have come with a metric of your own to give the Miami.

What is this statistic you have conjured? You know, everything has an acronym now. I'm going to be the first to admit. I want to get out front of this. Go on. This does not flow malefluously off the tongue. The acronym is T-Y-D-W-T-W-T-

P-P-I-T-F-R. And what that means is, team, you don't want to play in the first round. Okay, that's what that acronym stands for. Because here's what the heat are. And I'm not going to be the one just to make a headline. What's the acronym again? T-Y-D-W-T-P-I-T-FR. Team you don't want to play in the first round.

I feel like I'm back in the B-C-S. And I'm not going to be the guy trying to make a headline by saying, you know what? Nobody's talking about it, but the heat have a chance to win. win the championship. I'm not that guy. I am a guy saying they're going to finish in the top four. They're going to have home court in the first round and you don't want to be the team that plays that. See, when you say with that voice, see that, see, wait a minute. That changes things. Wait a minute. Right? That changes things. Because when he said top four, I was like,

eh, I don't know about that, but then he said the voice and I was like, okay, talk to me. Say it in a more threatening way because I do believe the heater now that. I believe it's not too smallest sample when you win at Philadelphia, when you're winning that way at Chicago. It's impressive. Well, but it's, I mean, look, Maxie's scoring 33 a game. If we're going to speed the whole thing up, okay? If we're going to speed the whole thing up and all of a sudden the heat are going to have a young 20-year-old who's going to do all the rebounding in where?

He was a plus 26 yesterday. He's incredible. Okay, but so if he's going to grow that fast in front of us to being a rebounding monster. And on the perimeter, you have a point guard who's assist to turnover ratio is only going to get better with the speed. They're the fastest team in the sport, so they're playing the most fun. They ran Chicago off the court. And so what you're saying is now in play. You've got to say with that voice, though, you've got to say the initials, like, you do not want to see this team in the first round.

None of you do. I don't like you saying it. I want the voice. Yeah. Listen, it's T-Y-D-D. W-T-P-P-I-T-F-R, team you don't want to play in the first round. The Miami Heat running like Jack Rabbits, they're going to be a top four seed. They're going to have home court.

This team has never scored like that. During the LeBron era, they weren't putting up 140-point games like this regularly. This is an exciting team. If you grew up watching the Heat and you're still looking at those 90s games against the Knicks where two teams are playing in the mud, throwing elbows of the final score is 86 to 78. This is the opposite of that. This is the exciting Jet Age Miami Heat. It's exciting.

I give Riley and Spolster all the credit in the world for flipping the whole script on how you envision Miami Heat basketball. This has been a fantastic season. Greg's absolutely right. We're running around at the Jack Rabbit's pace and running around in the jet era. You know, the Miami Heat really are one of those teams. you don't want to see in the first round. He's a beetle. Yes, I'm George Harrison.

I'm from the Beatles. And, you know, Kolo where dominating last night on the glass? Taser, taser. All you need is love, am I right? Stop talking. This is going to be a long day if that's the bit. Greg is very, Greg is legitimately excited today. He's legitimately excited today because the soccer team locally is exciting.

And the basketball team is clearly. good. Maybe they get hurt. I don't know. Maybe Tyler Hero throws something off and all of a sudden people are complaining or this is what it's going to be. They're going after the top of the conference with speed. They're going to try and they're going to try and play basketball faster than you and think their bodies can hold up. Look at the top three of the East. Detroit, or top four, Detroit, Toronto, mix in Cleveland, Miami. Detroit and Toronto. One and two. You're not worried about Hero. Screw this all up. What's to screw up? This is the perfect. You just said the standings. This is the perfect style of play. If he's bought in those as, if he's bought in, right?

If he doesn't want to be the ball dominant. Why wouldn't he be bought in? Because he thinks he's the guy walking and being like, I'm the all star on this team. I'm the guy that is the engine of this offense. And now he's got to mix in with Norm Powell, who's probably the best heat player we've ever seen through the first 14 games of the season. I agree with that take. Norm Powell is the greatest heat player we've ever seen. For the first 15 games. For the first 15 games. So there are only two players in the sport scoring more than 24 and shooting more than 46%

from 2 and 3. It's this guy and Janus. Janus does it on 18 3s. He's made half of them. He can't keep it up. This dude's shooting better than Duncan Robinson and he'll each up inside and out. All right.

Why am I worried about Tyler Hero screwing it up? Because over the last couple of years, I know he had a decent bubble, but Miami's gone on runs without Tyler Hero. Okay, but it seems as though Miami plays better without Tyler Hero. Okay, that's not the way you prefaced it, though. You prefaced it with the whole, you know, he's, I'm the All-Star, this is my team,

as if he's not team first guy, when his entire tenure with the Miami Heat has shown you, he has absolutely been team first guy. I guess my mistake there is I thought that that was implied. Hanging over this whole Tyler Hero thing is the heat seemed to play better without him over the last couple seasons. Tonight is the third game in four days. and he's going to come back against a Dallas team that is in disarray, is broken, and this has the potential, this has the potential to start one of those dumb conversations

around a team is the team better without its all-star. But the thing about the heat is they're top five defensively when BAM plays. They will not be that with Tyler Hero. What they did, they choked out Bulls. They said Bulls, you want to play at that pace? Okay, we'll score the 140. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlayers.

on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Yeagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by mass Yeagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York. On Fox 1, you can stream your favorite live sports, so you're there for the biggest moments as they happen.

For me, I cannot deal with spoilers, so I need to see it live, especially on college football Saturdays and NFL Sundays. With Fox 1, you get it all. NASCAR, the MLB postseason, edge of your seat plays jaw-dropping moments and that rush like you're right there in the action. Sports are meant to be watched live,

and you can do that with Fox One. Fox One, we live for live, streaming now. Don Lebertard. What do we got here? I got a magnum condom. We won't get that out. That's shocking. Stugats.

Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old. Right next to the condom. Yeah. He has a subtle reminder. Never forget. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. The part that's most confusing to me is what their starting group is going to wind up looking like. Because I don't know how Eric Spolster is going to handle that.

I can only see it being that Davion Mitchell is going to move to the bench. which it's like, man, he's really good for them on the ball, and he never turns the ball over. His assist to turnover rate is great. It's the best in the league. They're playing at a pace that doesn't make sense. Like, you can't bench that dude. They're going to.

Like, it's the only guy you could take out of the lineup. I don't like it. You can't take Wiggins out because, like, you can't have a three. You need size. Yeah, you can't have Mitchell, Powell, and Hero. Okay, you're highlighting real concerns with this hero thing. Well, I'm highlighting concerns as far as what the group is going to be out there together. I think the other thing, too, is this offense is so fast-paced that you need to be able to have the minutes spread out.

So maybe a guy isn't playing 40 minutes a game, but you've got a couple guys playing 30, a couple guys playing 20-something. Like, I think that's where that rotation ends up being. But guys, if you consider the science of this, like the science of it, on what the heat endured in an off-season where get the guy, get the guy, get the guy. If what you're trying to do is that you've already figured out in the science of this, oh, this speed is but. dusting everybody in this sport, every physical body in the sport, except OKC because they're really young, but that might happen to home. It seems like a lot to put on the joints and the ligaments and stuff. They'll go 10 deep. Bam was out and they survived it. Hero was out and they've survived it because they can go 10 deep at this pace. Like it's not and it's not six or seven players

anymore. It's like you want to play 10? All right. Here are our 10 and we've got some young ones now. Like that's future of the sport stuff, how you compete at the top of the Eastern Conference as the Knicks break because Brunson breaks down. You wait for the pistons. Is Kate Cunningham? Is he going to hold up under all of that? They're good. They're clearly good.

Janus is out again because is his body going to hold up? That's interesting to go into the playoffs and a new NBA where everyone's hurt and say our science will be better than yours will go 11 deep. Well, the depth is crazy. If you look at the box score now, just about every game, they have eight or nine players playing 20 minutes. minutes, 25 minutes. And that's what you want to trust Eric Spolster with, right? That kind of depth spread out to increase that kind of pace of play, to maintain that kind of pace of play,

is exactly the formula. And I don't know about 10 or 11, but they, when Hero comes back, they absolutely have nine players that they want to give minutes to. And that's a luxury. You can't, and today's NBA, if I don't make it about the uniforms or the names, or the All-Stars or the credentials. In today's NBA, Zaz, if I tell you, you're playing at the fastest rate of speed in the league and your point guard has the best assist turnover ratio,

he doesn't turn the ball over, and he's a great defender on the perimeter. You don't want to bench that. Yeah, and overall, they're one of the best teams in the league. I mean, they're top four defensive rating. Well, and if we're trying to figure out the starting lineup, Greg's absolutely right. The team's really deep.

We can move Pele Lawson to the bench, although he's been a great connector like Ringo Starr was for us with the Beatles. All right, I'm warming up to it. As long as it's that efficient. You think he's right, Greg, or what? Yeah, I do. I think Ringo was the unspoken beetle, the one everybody ignored. No, about the basketball point.

I'm George. Yeah, he's George. No, no, I wanted to substantiate what George was saying about Ringo's place in the Beatles. But Pell Larson, yeah, I mean, he's, I don't think he's, more than 6th or 7th on the depth chart under any math. Do you believe that story they told last night on the broadcast about Pella Larson and Dan Marley? I don't watch the broadcast. Was I the only one who thought that that was a little, you know, a little too coincidental?

For those that didn't watch, won't you? Let them know what happened. So Pella Larson's father, apparently, his favorite player was Dan Marley. Thunder. For all those years. Well, no, that's not necessarily hard to believe. but then Pella Larson gets to the NBA, gets the heat, and the father and Pell Larson realize

wow, you're wearing number 9. That was also Dan Marley's number. And it's like this big coincidence. I don't know. I found it a little hard to believe. So wait, are you calling the heat-fishy? You're calling them a propaganda program? You're calling Jason Jackson and his friend somebody that

makes up stuff in order to get ratings? Look, what's it out? What are you saying there? Are you saying they're putting the... What is the accusation you're making. I see it's a great story. You're a journalist now. Hold on a second. Let me see here. If you're going to do this, do it correctly. You're a journalist now.

Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. I'm good. I'm just saying it's a great story. All right. I mean, if Pelalars its father's favorite player

is Dan Marley, A, he does. doesn't know his favorite player's number, and B, it's a huge coincidence that he then realized, oh, wow, my son is wearing the same number as my favorite player. You're saying it's a made-up story. You're accusing the heat of propaganda of fake news. And by the way, and by the way, my son plays a lot similar to my favorite player. So that's what you're doing. My favorite part of that whole story is you saying that they're telling that story to boost ratings,

as if the ratings are skyrocketing by Appella Larson, Dan Marley, anecdote. Well, if it's a lie, if it's a fabrication, if it's being accused by Zaslow of being a little too conveniently seraping. It's a good story. Like, come on. It's a, no, he's saying it's a good story, but he's accusing them not being true. Of propaganda? Be clear about what you're saying, Zaslo. Make it with your chest. If you're going to make that accusation. That guy was number 23. My favorite player was Michael Jordan. Can you believe my son wears the same number? Oh my God. It's a good story. The University of Miami this weekend,

Buzz saw it on the road. Virginia Tech won easily 3417. And it's just total chaos in college football. You can't tell who's good. Ohio State hasn't played anybody. You saw what happened to Texas A&M. We all think Indiana's good, but anybody can win, and Miami's got a team that can play with anybody.

Everybody can see that much. And so the question of whether or not they will be denied the playoffs, because some things had to happen this weekend did happen for them. and they're in a good position if they beat Pittsburgh. I mean, had to happen to them for them in the ACC, but the top 10 in the AP had its most dominant week in several years. Utah even survived, though, I think enough happened this weekend for Miami to leap over Utah because Utah's resume compared to Miami is so flimsy.

It looks like SMU should enter the rankings again, And pitch should probably reenter the rankings as well. That gives Miami an opportunity to play a rank team. But if you watch the broadcast, I know a lot of people had a problem with it. It wasn't a compelling Saturday. Miami, the framing of this narrative, I saw it on ESPN, Miami survives a scare. That game was never in doubt. They never dipped below 92% win probability in the entire game.

A bunch of funny things happen in that game. Bad replays, bad first down calls, improbable play. being made by Virginia Tech that prevented that game from... Was there cheating? Oh, it was the ACC reps. You know that was cheating. But it was pretty bad both ways. It was a really bad crew.

But Miami probably had the most compelling game in that window, and it fed this narrative. Bob Waschusen, who's been called Chuckle-Fuck on social media. Oh, no. They're hit Bob with the Chuckle-Fle-Fle. Yeah. No. Bob's a South Florida legend.

They called Bob Woshozen Chuck. He and Lou Riddick just kept... It was a horrible. way to watch a game because the entire time is at any point in my lifetime Miami performing that well in Blacksburg is a hell of a performance. But this thing was framed from the jump that Miami has to win this game by 40. And then Lou Riddick after the games like head to head is all that matters. Well, it would have been nice to hear that on the broadcast. It would have been nice to frame that narrative during the broadcast. But instead, I'm out here feeling like a failure because

Miami isn't winning this game by 50 points. It's bullshit. And the fact that Miami is directly compared in Notre Dame outside of all the other teams is bullshit if you're not going to take what happened on the field as a primary metric. We are losing touch with our great traditional American football values here. What happens on the field matters. They don't just pass the eye test as Miami is playing their most dominant football with the hottest quarterback in the nation in November. They pass the field test, Greg Cody. And Mario Crisball said exactly that in his post game. He tried to couch it a little bit, but he basically said everybody talks about the eye test. What about the field test? And he didn't bring up the head-to-head win over Notre Dame, but it's out there for

everybody to see, except apparently the college football playoff voters. Guys, this is a culture war. What is happening right now with the computers having so much say in all these acronyms and having a group of five team inexplicably join this playoff, let me tell you something. Group of five, it's DEI. It's DEI. Let's call it for what it is. Call it for what it is. This is absolutely a culture war happening right now when computers are trying to tell you that Notre Dame is better. Who is Notre Dame beaten? You can't do this. Notre Dame's best win is against a stinky USC team. That's Notre Dame's best one. Wow, they look so dominant since they lost to Texas A&M. They're playing garbage. 70 to 7 against Syracuse.

They're playing garbage. I will say though, I turned into that Miami game late in the fourth quarter. Only up 10. I did say to myself. I'm like, ooh. You didn't have to say to yourself. Chuckle fuck was telling you what to think. Just for the optics, I was like, oh, I feel like they needed to. Yes, which is bullshit. They beat Notre Dame. Stop with the computers. The computers only matter.

This is, guys, this is an assault on the fiber of America. This is not good. Are you seeing this? You should be scared. And your children should be scared too. Minor penalty, two minutes. Personal foul. Personal and foul.

Wow. He's going to take this one on the chin. It's time to fight. It's time to fight. Mike, Virginia Tech was able to run the ball against Miami. Big time. Almost 200 yards. Don't do the thing where you kick me out and I can't defend this.

You're part of the enemy. You're out. You have to leave the room and you have to go away for a minute and gather yourself because... My guy was spitting. I want to talk about the actual game, whether Pringle is better for what they do than Fletcher. whisper while Mike's out of the room for a second. The way he's acting about all this is kind of make me want Miami to bubble.

I kind of want them to come in 13th. And they're headed there. Just to see Mike loses mind. You want them to be first-teen out. They are headed there, pal. They are headed there. They are headed there. Stay strong, guys.

I think it's best for content. If we just bubble, if they become the face of the bubble. No, no, no, no. We can't. We're three weeks into this. Miami is doing their part. They needed to see more consistency. You can't get more consistent than this.

Guys, this is bad. You should be scared. They didn't cover at... Only up 10. How does it be in the country? That's a bad... I don't know. All you talk about is the opening line against us.

Bad Virginia Tech team. Bad Virginia Tech team. They were, you know, you're favored by 17 and a half. You can't win by 17, Mike. It's the holidays and the 50th anniversary of Miller Light. A holidays are all about gathering around with family and friends, so why don't you bring out a cornucopia of that beautiful white can Miller Light or draft, whatever it is?

You know it's going to be a special time when you bring out Miller Light because Miller Light makes special time, Miller Time, whether it's a late-night hang after the holiday party or standing around a fire pit with the fam. Miller Light just fits. It's a taste you know you can depend on, brood for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich balanced toffee notes, and that iconic golden color.

And at 96 galleries and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, it lets you enjoy the season without weighing you, down the original light beer since 1975 and still hidden different 50 years later the best holiday beers are the ones you don't expect miller light great taste 96 calories go to millerlight dot com slash dan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some miller light pretty much anywhere they sell beer tis miller time celebrate responsibly miller brewing company Milwaukee wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces