The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The DVN & Zaslow Fame-Off

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

"Satan's got feelings, you know?" Dan threatens to cut off Mike's arm to make a quick buck. Today's cast: Dan, Zaslow, Chris, Jeremy, Mike, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Book club on Monday. Gym on Tuesday. Ugh! Date night on Wednesday. Out on the town on Thursday! Woo! Quiet night in on Friday. It's good to have a routine. And it's good for your eyes too.

Because with regular comprehensive eye exams at Specsavers, you'll know just how healthy they are. Visit Specsavers.ca to book your next eye exam. Eye exams provided by independent optometrists. Can you guys explain to me why it is there was some stomping around the office here about Pablo Torre getting some other award that he's gotten or gotten to the top of some list or there's something special that Pablo Torre has gotten? Time, a very reputable magazine.

What are those? What do they say? They came out with a list of the top 100 podcasts of all time. Wow. And very impressively, Pablo Torre is on that list. Come on. Hootie payoff. We are not on that list.

Oh, come on. I just want to go out and get that. I know it's a little awkward, but we are not the only legacy podcasts that most people would assume would be on that list that aren't on that list. Part of My Take is not on that list. Joe Rogan is not on that list.

And I don't know how you leave Joe Rogan off any top podcast list ever. Like even if it's the top three podcasts ever, Joe Rogan belongs on it. Tony, do you have the entire list? Like is there anything on that list that we would be like really offended by? Cause you said all time, Pablo Torre finds out

a spectacular metal arc media success investment. There has never been a podcast like it. There can't be very many podcasts that have as much journalistic resources behind it anymore. Now we just turn on podcasts. He's already in the top hundred? Yeah, he's already in the top hundred. The Kelseys have found a way to crack the top hundred. I think Hank Lockwood, the really talented producer

for part of my take, speaks for all of us when he says, you can't tell the story of sports podcasting without mentioning the tennis podcast. I don't know if they actually ranked them. Who does the tennis podcast? I learned about the tennis podcast via this list. I don't. That's the name?

Yeah, it's called the tennis podcast. And what number is that one on it? I don't know if they actually ranked them. It's just 100 podcasts. They just gave 100 that they said, hey, we report, you decide, but these are definitively the top 100. Are these episodes of these podcasts,

or they're podcasts in totality? No, and there's a lot of short run podcasts. Like I just saw you scrolling through the tiles there. Dirty John was a limited run series. So there's a lot of limited run series that are on this, which I mean, deservedly so, but I kinda feel like, kinda feel like, maybe we should be on there too.

There's a pivot, but not that pivot, another pivot. So I didn't know there was another pivot outside of the pivot that is the one that's more noticeable. There's a political pivot, there's not a Ryan, outside of the Ryan, did you think the Ryan Clark pivot was the political pivot? Those people are very famous, I saw their podcast the other day, and all I saw them talking I saw their podcast the other day and all I saw them talking about they're very smart

But all I saw them talking about is how often they're recognized in public and it was really off-putting Nice white parents real podcasts are fake It's a good question we probably go through that list top 100 podcasts of all time we can probably go through that list and do real or fake podcasts. Let's do that, but you guys realize that Stugats is excellent in this because we bypassed the other day. I've been stumbling around as a man of words. I've been stumbling around for a couple of weeks trying to explain what it is that Stugats' idea was for a podcast between Andy Roddick and Marty Fish.

And I called it Fish Dick, and because I couldn't remember what it was, and he's like, no, Fish and Rod. That's a great name. That's a great name. The Tennis Show is all you gotta name something to get in the top 100? The Tennis Show.

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Happy, happy, and I'm saying this with a giant, giant smile on my face, because I really am happy. Happy, Bill Belichick's girlfriend, Jordan, allows him to speak at 2 p.m. today day. Woo! Of press availability, we need a countdown clock. We need everyone to know when it is that Bill Belichick will address the media.

But before we do that, I have a problem on my hands here with Azaslo, who over the last few months has developed the confidence I've never seen in him before he's been an icon in this business in south florida for a long time twenty years but that his confidence is soaring these days for reasons that are unexplained i'm not feeling confident today well this is the problem he looked at me today and it's because don van not as such an impressive journalists as was been playing like he's he's out on everybody i'm a judge i'm a lawyer i'm a judge, I'm a lawyer, I'm a journalist. What else are you?

I'm a race war expert. You're a race war expert. And he's like, he's sitting here and he's like, I'm gonna have to talk to Don Vannada today. And he's looking at me and he's nodding and he's staring at me and he's mad, right? He's mad at me and he's losing confidence. He's like the top investigative reporter in all of sports.

He's a very respected man in our industry. All right, don't be intimidated. The best game, look, Tony's not intimidated. Tony's not intimidated. So what? I just, I don't know, do I look my best? You know, I don't know. What shirt is that?

Let me see, what shirt are you wearing? You're doing something new with your beard, huh? Rating champs. Well yeah, I have a beard now, cause I'm an adult. Tony yesterday exhibited, as he often does just unrelenting confidence so Mike you did not you weren't here to see that Tony ten years ago walked up to me at sandbar and said you know we got next like this

was ten years ago we showed a picture of it yesterday that's what Tony was ten years ago before he was a dad I mean you were still a teenager then were you not? I was probably my early early twenties, yeah. And so he doesn't understand not having confidence around Don Vannada. Don Vannada is, I don't know, let's think about this for a second. I just hope he takes me serious

as like a talk show host, that's all. Let's see, you know that traditionally print journalists and investigative journalists don't respect radio people, don't respect... respect radio people don't respect radio people i don't think there's anything about today other than your intellect that you have to fight with and you don't have suffer from a lack of respect from don van daa you're he's not smarter than you he's not better than you if you're not gonna allow cody to be better than you wise

don van daa better than you don van daa can't do radio doesn't do television just a print guy, and entertainers generally look down on print guys, no matter how good they are as reporters. I just want to give off a good first impression, okay? Never, you know, he's never seen me. You meet someone, a respected guy for the first time. I want to give off a good...

Oh, this is the first time? First time he'll see me. Like, I talked to him before when I've been on ESPN, for sure, but he doesn't know what I look like, but now we gonna like meet I don't know who you are as a South Floridian like you I'm sure he knows who you are. You're more famous than Don van Oh my god. Don't He said already that he respects him and you're like, why should you respect him? He's a prank guy You're you're an entertainer. Look at you You're so already trying to drive a wedge between jazz and don't fall for it

You put it on the pole who's more famous in South Florida Don van Don Van Nader's as low like I'm in the local hour here And this is all I meant Who's more famous in South Florida's as low or Don Van Nader? I think it's close Don Van Nader I mean, he's a two-time heat broadcasting champion, but Van Nader. I'm not falling for your trap. You're trying to suck me in. I'm not doing it. Stop doing this. Stop trying to stir shit. It's unnecessary.

Jonathan Zaslow, I just want to be respected. Two-time champion broadcaster. And Don Vanada hasn't ever won anything that impressive. Just a Pulitzer Prize. Oh my gosh, all right, I'm logging the show. Just a Pulitzer Prize. I'm logging the show. Put it on the poll, at Levitard Show.

What's more impressive, winning a, aw, aw, Pulitzer Prize, or winning two championships? Okay, logging the show. First segment, five minutes on fame off between Don Van Nata and John Stencil. Put it in the log, that's fine. Let's do a fame off, that's good. So this is my point, he's going to join us in 35 minutes to talk about Pablo Torre having

a top 100 of all time podcast kicking the Pulitzer Prize winners ass on that Union story because now Van Nata is just chasing him. He's just chasing, he's grifting off of Pablo Torre the way that Pablo Torre grifted off of Jordan. Speaking of pivot, I'm still logging the show. Dan turns his attention to driving a wedge between Pablo and Don Vannada now. I don't think you need to concentrate on that part. I think you need to concentrate on what it is that we're doing around here today,

which is we're talking first to Don Vannada. But later in the show, I'd argue we've got what for our show is one of the most exciting people that we could get in sports to do much of anything if i made a short list of who would you want on our show this guy fits on our show chris cody was just saying l duncan that's a big strong introduction for her bob and is going to nice and so we can talk john wick and uh... adam sandler and happy gilmore to uh... with him but the serious story that we're going to do with uh... with don he's very busy

because uh... america's most popular sport has a whole bunch of employees who are really mad because they're learning by reading things and listening to things with pablo and don about how mismanaged some of their stuff has been when i want to take you guys back a little bit okay to use all the clown with Pablo and Don about how mismanaged some of their stuff has been when, I wanna take you guys back a little bit, okay? Cause you saw what a clown Jerry Jones

made of himself the other day. And I want you to examine for a second, just examine how many other owners felt the need to speak when training camp began throughout football. And I want you to ask yourself, not me, ask yourself, how many owners can you name? Because when Zaslow asks, do you think Jerry Jones does all of this on purpose?

And the answer is yes. Jerry Jones just wants to be in front of everybody so that they know that he's running things. And that's all it is that Jerry Jones wants. Don Vannada knows him very well, has written some of the original things about what Jerry Jones is. So we'll talk to him about that. But the story that Dominic Foxworth really just

blew me away with the first time he told it. He's like, I sat across from Jerry Jones, we started to negotiate, and for the first time in my life, I realized, oh my God, I've been giving him too much credit because he's just wealthy and I thought he was smarter than me. He's not smarter than me. He's not smarter than me. Like, I'm negotiating again.

And these owners are not smarter than some of these people that they can abuse because it's always Demora Smith running the union. Because it's always the more Smith running the union because it's always People who run this stuff get together at the top of the cabal and they make their own deals So that the guy who's running the players union can go to the strip club on a $700 tab on players Bodies and I'm telling you the players are super pissed off You're not gonna hear about it because that's not the way of that culture to be telling you there Some guys are doing it

but to tell you from the inside holy shit you have any idea how mad i am that i'm reading don van daan and pablo and they know more about where my money's going that i do they know about where my union protections are more than i do i want to call pablo and don and tell them more because i need leadership in here that can actually help us fight a jerry jones who's not smarter than us but has gone from owning a team that he paid a hundred and fifty

million dollars for tolling a team that doesn't win that's now worth more than the lakers there's so many guys though in the union membership i mean you have fifty three guys per team how much of membership do you think is actually up to speed with anything that's going on can't be a lot, right? I like Kevin Clark's take on what's going on with Jerry Jones. He was on first take and he said quote, when I look at Jerry Jones I

think of one thing, if the football gods came down and said Jerry you get to win the next three Super Bowls but the catch is you can't do a press conference. He looks at the football gods and says no deal. I think it's true. Wouldn't most people agree with that? You think if I ask most people who know football, hey, Jerry Jones, what would he prefer to do? Win a football game or win a press conference? Like if you told him he can only do one for the rest of your life. I think he says, why can't I have both? I think I want it all. I understand that that's what he would say, but I'm not offering him that choice. I'm saying you

have to pick. He has all. He usually works that's what he would say, but I'm not offering him that choice. I'm saying you have to pick, he has all. Like he- He usually works that way though for billionaires. They don't really ever consider that there's an option that they don't get what they want. Don LeBattard. And then that staffer threw him 25 and two. Oh, there's a brand new kid in town out of BYU.

Stugats. They call him Pooka. Pooka. Pooka Nakua. Pooka Nakua. This is the Dunn LeBatard Show with the Stugats. Well, I'm glad that you mentioned all of that because there are a number of things I want to talk about today, including what it is that Rodrigo De Paul is doing to South Florida that is making it smolder in a way that Rose in the other room is talking about soccer in a way it seems like we have not talked about even Messi around here because this heartthrob has come into town and everyone seems to love everything this human being's about.

So there is this player, Rodrigo De Paul, a national team player, one of Messi's teammates on the national team for Argentina, coming over from Atletico Madrid. And this is, look, the headline is that this guy's hot as ****, right? This guy's beautiful. He's got the tattoo on the neck, it's a sword,

he's got the long blonde hair, some Beckham vibes, right? The tattoo on the neck must hurt, man. Yeah, but it works with soccer players. I think he's got pearl earring here. The guy gives off sex appeal, no doubt. There's a lot of fun stuff circling around Inter Miami and the assumption that they just call their own shots in MLS.

This is one of them. I was on this beat for a little bit, and Tom Bogert did some great reporting. The MLS office had no idea how to register this player, because Miami doesn't actually have space for him, according to league rules. So why do they get to do it? That's right.

Put it on the poll, please, at Lebatard Show. Neck tattoo hurt more than all the others? Inner thigh? Chest? I've got a fair amount of tattoos. I will say nothing hurt me more than the one on the knee. It's bone, right? When you're doing tattoo over bone kind of words.

Yeah, there's a lot of shading on it. That one, by far, was like twice as Yeah, there's a lot of shading on it. That one, by far, was like twice as painful as any of the other tattoos that I have, but. But you don't have a neck tattoo, and Zazzlo's alleging that. I have one, I will say the one that I have, I have a Miami Dade tattoo right here on my trap.

Oh, a trap tattoo. And that's kinda close to it, and that one did hurt. There's a fair amount of shading. What about the skull? You remember Bam Bam Bigalow? Bam Bam Bigelow. Tattoos all over his head. That would be bad.

So let's rank them. Let's see where it is here. And let's not, so nobody has elbow tattoos, right? There's no such thing? No, I mean, the knee is the elbow of the lower body. All right, so what, let's see. So elbow, all right, what are the, give me five. You got knee, if we were doing a top top five what you imagine people would vote for on?

This test tattoos that would hurt. I'm always texture juju juju's got tattoos I think he certainly got a tattoo on his neck right okay? Cuz Zazzle reacted as if the neck would be bad, and I would think bone and skull would be worse I just would imagine that bone and skull Zazzle doesn't seem like an authority on these issues How do you know I'm not all tatted up? You don't know? I don't know, but I can make certain assumptions, I feel. What about the way I look would tell you

that I'm not tatted up? Well, I don't see any. There's that, but I don't see any on Mike right now as I look on him and he just had, okay, there they are. Oh, that's my brother's tattoo that has the misspelling. Yes, that's right, thank you for that. I proofread it. And I was like, yeah, that's my brother's tattoo that has the misspelling. Yes, that's right. Thank you for that. I proofread it. And I was like, yeah, that's him.

That's a beautiful memory though. Yeah, I mean, I wish it wasn't misspelled. I could easily fix it too, but. That's the last thing my brother did. Yeah. Do you know that I could literally, literally solve all your debt by, it would just cost you your right arm.

I've thought about it. That you have the last, that is the most valuable thing that you have the last work of my brother It's the last thing that he did in the hospital And he was he was drugged up and he was dying and it has a misspelling in it And it has and it is on your arm And you honor him by not fixing it because in his work like in Basquiat's when my brother would misspelled things He just crossed it out and keep moving. I believe we should do that as a stunt.

Yeah. To keep up with Barstool. To keep up with Barstool. Let's do it at a Flanagan's or something. Cut off my arm. Mike cuts off half of his right arm, and we give it to Ron McGill's endowment. We can just skin it, too.

Skin it. That's better than that. Let's skin it. Like a filet. Because I am right-handed. If I wasn't, then we could have a different concept. How valuable do you imagine? How valuable do you imagine that my brother's last work with a misspelling in it, with a misspelling?

Seven grand, are you crazy? Yeah, yeah, seven grand. No, much more than that. On a human arm? Yeah, and I will give your brother credit. Six grand of that is the art. The other grand is the fact that it's printed on human skin. Juju has weighed in.

He's nominated two places, the forehead slash hairline area and the kneecap. Yeah, all right, good. I'm glad I'm not alone. And Juju has the experience there too. That kneecap had me seeing stars a little bit. There was a suggestion of the lip as well from some of the folks out there. So do this.

Which one? Let's just ask the internet here. Make it lip, elbow, skull, neck, kneecap and make it those five and see how the voting comes in. Yeah I do think the neck is, the neck is probably pretty painful because the one that I have on my trap which is close enough to that area that's probably the second one. You like telling everyone you got one on your trap. I do, I got so many.

Several times you mentioned it. I got so many. I got my chest, I got like close to 20. Zazlo is what you're reacting to there, that calling it your trap seems like what? Like weightlifters vanity or what? Or like what is it? Trapezius?

Yeah, like I don't have traps. I don't know if you could tell. I don't have traps. Soda body. And it feels like you want everybody to know you have traps. I don't think I need to let anyone know that I have traps. I mean, Mike is a pretty substantive ego.

And it reminds me of something else here where you find like the most of male machismo, okay, in some weightlifting. I don't know if you guys know the person I discovered yesterday, but what a delight to discover this person yesterday. Now you may know it by description, but I asked everybody here if they knew who Anatoly was.

I don't even know if I'm pronouncing that correctly, because I discovered this person just... I'm sorry, Anatoly, Anatoly. And he's very famous, but he's Internet famous, and he's not famous by name. And I thought I was coming in here today to tell a whole bunch of people about a a person that they would all tell me yet and you're forty years late to this this guy

has had a billion followers forever because what he's doing on the internet is unlike uh... anything you've ever seen on the internet when it comes to sketch comedy where people aren't acting where you can question whether the people are acting but they're not are acting, but they're not acting. And the reason they're not acting is because a human being who is not very impressive, even when not in costume, somebody who looks physically small and is certainly fit,

but is small and isn't very muscular, keeps going into gyms where there are these giant inflated steroid heads, people who are using all sorts of horse anabolics to lift 500 pounds. And I have never seen a human being of this size and stature who dressed as a janitor or an old man goes in and shows these bodybuilders that he can do what they do with one arm. Like that he's a powerlifter that's so strong that they are clearly baffled

because what he's doing is superhuman. He's accusing them of having fake weight, and then when he goes over them, he lifts easily things that they are really struggling to lift because he is stronger than any human being I've seen at that size because he's a professional deadlifter and he's a champion deadlifter and he's just physically connected, but he's walking into these rooms where he is two and three times smaller than people who are all inflated on male ego. That's real what I'm seeing there? Everything you're seeing is real and none of it is fake, including the reactions of

the people. This person's very famous on the internet. Like I did not, I just got to him yesterday and i could not stop i could not stop watching these videos and wanted to tell people somebody get this guy for me i want to talk to him because what he is doing these people are stunned watch what you have to be stunned because i've never seen somebody and ever if you take the costume often i've never seen somebody who has this much strength so to see it in a body that's an old man, or, and this is the funniest thing he does,

he's a janitor, right? And so because he's walking around with a mop, they all underestimate him. He's in sandals and socks, okay? Like he's walking around the gym, he's apologizing to everybody, and he's holding a mop, and it becomes clear as part of what it is

that he's laying out, that the reason that they think he's holding a mop and it becomes clear as part of what it is that he's laying out that the reason that they think he's this strong is because when they go to grab the mop from him, it's a million pounds. Like they go to grab it and none of them can move it because it sticks to the floor and they think there's a magnet there. So then they think, oh, the reason this guy is this strong,

this is what they tell their friends. Because no, their friends aren't gonna believe what they just saw. They go home and they tell their friends, hey, this tiny dude just deadlifted 200 more pounds than me, and the way he got that strong is his mop's a million pounds. He's a janitor and his mop is a million pounds. We've got to start training with million pound mops so that we can win at the Olympics because

we're not getting strong enough. I Have never in my life seen a human being of that size Have a fraction of the strength that that man has so like he's buttering them up by claiming that the weights are fake that they're Plastic that they're not that's not buttering them up what he's going to I can't imagine how much good footage This has this guy has of power lifters trying to kick his ass because of how rude he is interrupting their workouts, saying he's sorry, being clueless, but what he's giving off the entire time is weakness, meekness. Right. The entire time, the only reason he's welcomed in is because they think he's harmless. And I think that's why they're not kicking his ass, right? Because of the fact that I did this weight where you said it was a PR, personal record, I just did it eight

times and I showed you I could lift it up with one hand. That's where the respect comes in for these guys where you're like, okay, dude, what's up? Adapt you up, let's go. Well, what's funny to see each time is the story arc of clearly underestimating somebody who visually looks like you should underestimate him, walking into a world of what looks like on the outside,

strong male ego, but it's pretty fragile. Because as soon as he shows you that he's stronger than you, all of a sudden, you have all sorts of respect for this dude that you didn't want bothering you five minutes ago. You're like, damn. Shame on anyone that falls for this costume, though. This is a terrible disguise. Bad beard, too, yeah. I mean, he looks like one of the Beastie Boys in the 90s.

I mean, this is the second worst disguise that I've seen on television outside of you remember when Gordon Ramsay was on the undercover boss Do we have an image of Gordon Ramsay on undercover boss because that that wasn't Garbage pail kid that's not Gordon Ramsay That looks like Jason from Friday the Friday movies like what is that what is that? That's undercover boss. No, but yeah, he went undercover I don't know. I don't know if that was Gordon Rand, but it was an episode of undercover boss where a guy was Mike This this person okay the reason that this person you can say that the costume stinks But the reason this whole thing works is because all of those weight lifters are clearly very surprised. Like they don't, that's not acting. The thing that he's doing with the weights, he's been

doing it for a long time. So I imagine he's a little bit like Ali G at this point. He can't do it everywhere. People know who he is. Did you watch it? Did you see Sasha Baron Cohen's new body? He's on the cover of Muscle and Fitness. I don't like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they're giving credit. Let's grab that English, too. Well, he's Marvel now. That's why, right? Yeah, yeah. That's why. Oh, his Mephisto transformation.

Let me tell you something. Please. That divorce got finalized last week. That's what that is. P.D.'s. Wow, two, wait a minute. If you wait a minute, if you guys are gonna do that, that arrogantly. I don't think it's P.D.'s.

I do. You think it's P.D.'s? I mean, he doesn't look that good. Like, he's very good. Hold on, hold on, hold on a second. Here is something we like to call rugless speculation You good? Thank you. So if we take a look on the screen right now, Sasha Baron Cohen notably thin soda drinkers body I don't like it. I don't like what I see that all of a sudden now. It's like oh, I'm ripped. I'm 1% body fat I got the V cut, I'm vascular

Guys, this is classic Hollywood PED use. No, this is classic Hollywood, PED use. No, this is classic Photoshop. Look at the lighting, look at the oiled him up. He's vascular because he's holding two free weights in his hand. All touched up. And let me tell you something, we know his hair color is not that.

That's true, also PED. Right, so I guess what you're saying is, if he's willing to go that far on the hair, then. He's gonna go that far on the body. I don't think that's PED. That's a far on the body. I don't think that's P.E.D. That's a very natural looking body. You don't think that's test? No! No, no, no.

You don't think? How old is he? 50 something? I actually, I would argue that that is him getting fit and healthy, but that was very Jeff Teague of you, Tony. Can I get that Jeff Teague sound? It's Jeff Teague. Oh, yeah, can I get the Jeff Teague sound? Like, it's reckless. 50 years old, Dan. Yeah, I did this to LeBron as well, though,

so I don't know how much I can question Jeff Teague here. And I will say this, because I don't know anything, and I have never actually heard anyone around the Miami Heat say that he was using steroids and growth hormone, even though we made all the jokes when he would leave for a couple of weeks or need some time that he was you know going to refill the fuel tank but if LeBron James is doing something at the top of basketball still at an age that is older than any player ever and is the oldest player in the league. If he's able to

do something like that, he could be unprecedented. And if you had to bet and be right about whether or not someone got too unprecedented and one, because they cheated, they didn't cheat and were just better than all of the other cheaters, time or lebron james did it naturally so you know millions dollars on his body every year yet you got but you got a bet and be right you got a bet be right so i understand where all those questions are on the brun james i don't believe that he ages that naturally but lebron james body has a thickness in the size that is natural for what it is that he's doing and we've seen it largely be the same his entire life on as to like Barry Bonds or Dwayne the Rock Johnson even whose body has changed

a lot at 50. But Sacha Baron Cohen looks like he's just gotten all of the inflation out of his body that whatever his soda drinking and bad habits were that he's just totally leaned out here with a good deal of musculature but he's also like 6% body fat. I don't like the way Sacha Baron Cohen looks there because you're not funny anymore if that's what you look like. That's not a funny person. That's not a guy who could be Borat. That guy's not funny.

I don't like it. Well, he's a dramatic actor now. Okay, well he's not funny. The last things he, I mean, he hasn't done, hasn't he been doing more drama than comedy recently? He got scarred by Hollywood, man. Like he had huge success, they promised him three movies, and then after the first one failed,

they broke their promise because that's what those people do in Hollywood. Who's the funniest ripped guy? Carrot Top. Dave Chappelle. Dave Chappelle's not lost his funny because he got jacked. That's true. Well, but he's gone.

Look, we're gonna do this. He's jacked? Yeah, he is. And he did not lose his funny, and Joe Rogan got more popular after he got jacked. He's not like this jacked. I'm just, look, we're gonna do this now. Dave Chappelle, I don't know where he is now in his body.

In his soda body. What are we doing now, answering your question? Yes, yes, we are doing this now. We are answering your question, Dan. There are plenty of funny jacked comedians. In fact, you'd be shocked. It wasn't, that wasn't my question. This is what we're doing now,

answering questions on the show. Dave Chappelle though has gone from, he's had different body types and there was a time when he was down here in Miami a lot where he was like super swole, he is not that now. I don't know if he is jacked now. Like I don't know if he has a body that's- He is, he's still like meepo

and he just wears jackets in his standup specials, but he's still a big guy. It's a jacked off. So what's the answer? Carrot Top was super jacked for a while is your answer Chappelle? That's the funniest muscular guy there's been and who lost their funny there have been comedians There have been Joe Piscopo lost his funny when he went from well, no, wait a minute It was always kind of in shape even in it. Yeah, but he got he got super jacked who are the other ones? There are people who have been accused of getting less funny as they've lost weight.

I mean, jacked and in good shape is different things. Like, I don't think Sacha Baron Cohen is jacked. I think he's in good shape. Betty Murphy's always been in good shape. There is one guy that can't afford to get jacked and can't afford to have a body transformation, and it's Shane Gillis. Like, as his whole thing.

That would be a bad look. But so was Bert. Yeah, Bert Kreischer, too. And Bert got a little fit, but not much. transformation and Shane Gillis. That like has his whole thing. He can't do that. That would be a bad look. But so is Bert. Yeah, Bert Kreischer too. And Bert got a little fit, but not. He got some. He's back, he's back.

He got a little fit. Kevin James did an MMA movie. Yeah, and he's in like for him. Yeah, great shape for him. I guess Joe Rogan is a standup comedian. He's in good shape. Oh, Steve Martin also. Great shape for him is so insulting.

Weird nips. And that's coming from me. Put it on the poll, does Joe Rogan have weird nipples? At LeBotard Show. Let me see these things. Don LeBotard! If Daniel Day-Lewis did it, you'd be jerking off all over yourself. Oh, come on!

Yeah, I would be. Aggressive description. Come on! I mean, what is that? I'm just saying. No, that's me. You're just saying what? That's me. Daniel Day-Lewis does something.

I see that photo of Daniel Day-Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to start filming Lincoln. And you know what I do? I mean, stugots. I jerk off all over myself. That's what I do. Lincoln, who you outed the other day?

Don't make this a rejoin. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the StuGats. I wanted to talk. It took me too long to get here. My apologies for taking so long to get here. South Park had a much anticipated episode last night. And you know know if you've been listening to this show for a while and bored by my dronings, that I really care about some of the things that are happening at the top of corporate media that swallow Stephen Colbert and that make us have conversations where you've got John Stewart saying on television, if you have the Colbert show and you have South Park and you have the Daily Show, doesn't that represent the grand majority of the $8 billion that we're talking about in the Skydance, FCC, Paramount merger?

If you free those three creators to do whatever they want, South Park, The Daily Show, and Stephen Colbert. I can't believe that I missed that we're at the gates of the revolution here where the funny gestures on television are compromised and bought and have to work under corporate media. But what South Park's gangsters did as a entity last night that prides itself on making fun of how soft

Seth MacFarlane's family guy is and how weak the Simpsons are, even though they're the standard in this business because it doesn't actually stand for anything. Simpsons have made a ton of money, their people are brilliant, but as soon as the Apu stuff happened, they ran for the hills.

The South Park guys don't respect that. The South Park guys wanna do this with attitude. For them to produce that episode after securing the deal for 1.5 billion dollars of FU money to watch what these three entities are gonna do if they don't make Josh Johnson wear a jacket because they're still doing Grandpa John Stewart's TV show and let Josh Johnson do the next wave of whatever this is. These three entities are going after Trump. My God, being able to laugh about Trump is so much more effective than sermonizing about hating him. To be able to make people laugh about the absurdity that everyone hates this clown now,

everyone hates this felonious orange turd, like where, where, like you've got clearly the cover-up yesterday yesterday that's the Wall Street Journal They can't print that unless it's true Do you know what would come down on them like they've got that story locked Robert Rupert Murdoch has information and he is now looking To bury this man go ahead sue him all you want go ahead and fight with Murdoch because he's got late-night television That ain't going anywhere his late-night television what can work forever his goes right? he's got late night television. That ain't going anywhere. His late night television can work forever. His goes right. He's got money forever.

Rupert Murdoch has the goods on Trump and he printed some of them yesterday. Do you know how hard that is to do? Do you know how hard it is to go straight from there to Obama treason? South Park gets to make fun of that. John Stewart gets to make fun of that. And Colbert's about to be able to do it

on their television before they sell him? Holy shit are we going to have fun the next 10 months watching what produce what what South Park and everyone else produces. Squeezing them there's going to be good art that that comes from this is going to be audacious it's going to be offensive. I'll buck up against the fact that no one likes this guy. I think he still has a an annoyingly fair amount of supporters that will go through anything with him. On this issue, I mean, on this issue,

when you've got FBI assistant directors having a crisis of conscience, I'm just on this issue. On pedophilia, we're pretty much all united there. We're pretty much all united on, don't lie to us about pedophilia. Largely, I agree. I'm on the right side there. Yeah, largely, largely, I agree.

On the left side. The right side of the issue. On the left side. The right side of the issue. On the left side. Well, it's all now confusing. The correct side. I don't think there are sides to this one. At least I didn't think so. But yeah.

It'd be the first one if there aren't. There's been sides to everything the last 10 years. Right, but this is like, he rode this wave to getting reelected in the greatest political comeback of all time. And he didn't shy away from it all that much. And certainly the cronies around him built audiences like Charlie Kirk, his lieutenant over at the FBI.

These are all people that pounded the table, his own son, his own vice president. They're all people that said, we got to get a hold of these people accountable. Why aren't they releasing the Epstein files? And I mean, look, I don't know if you saw the developments overnight, the attorney for the state for the Epstein survivors said that he does indeed have the letter and he's going to turn it over to authorities. You remember the letter, the letter that was fake, that didn't exist. So like right then and there, he didn't, this is where Donald Trump's proclivity to say hoaxes and fake all the time actually does come back to bite him. This one's very fresh. Wait,

you've lost all credibility. Now I know every time I think he's lost credibility, he always wiggles out of it. I do kind of feel like he's kind of caught dead to rights on the letter at least, if the letter is real when he was telling us it's fake. Of course, I overstate it when I say that everyone doesn't like this guy, but it's open season on making fun of him, and when South Park unloads the cannons, it is something to behold. I couldn't believe what I was watching last night.

I really couldn't. You know, my kids were a very open household, all right, and they love South Park. They've been watching South Park since they were little, The Simpsons, my older son has seen every episode of The Simpsons, all right, since he was little. Like, we love that shit. And now I don't regularly watch it, so last night,

I didn't know what I was about to walk into with South Park. I didn't even, I knew it was the season premiere, but I didn't know what I was about to walk into. And my younger son, my 13 year old, he's sitting on the couch with me and it's like a quarter to 10 and we know that South Park is coming up. He's like, Hey, do you want to watch South Park? I go, yes, I do. And so we put on South Park and we're watching it together. And I just, I couldn't believe it because, so it's the middle of the episode, right? And go to the Oval Office and Trump is turned facing the window so you can only see his hair is there behind the chair and then he swivels the chair around like whoa they

are actually using his face and so from that point on it was I can't believe that because we've seen them do this with you know he's in bed with Satan there and he's got the Schmeckle sticking out and we've seen this with they do this to Saddam Hussein and they do this to Kim Jong-un you know it's like I don't know man I don't remember anyone doing this the president of the United States all right that's our president it was crazy what we were watching and and they got him with the micro penis, and my son and I, we are howling throughout the show. I couldn't believe what we were watching.

It was crazy. And then I'm just thinking, how does he, how does Trump find out about it? Is it someone, part of his communications department who brings it to his head, hey, so this happened last night, and are they showing Trump pictures of him in bed with Satan, where he's wanting to have sex with Satan,

you know, and Satan's playing very hard to get. Satan's got feelings, you know. Like, does someone show- I used to date someone just like you. Right, does someone show him that, or does he actually then say, I wanna watch the episode, you know before, I'm fascinated by how the information comes to him.

And there's like a non-zero chance that he has no idea Comedy Central is owned by Paramount. This is going to be a time of great creativity and pain. The phrase you used and I don't know, the shmeckle? Yeah, a little shmeckle. Well what is it? It's like Yiddish for penis. Yeah that's right, can't confirm. Okay, just I'd never heard that before.

How does one spell shmeckle? Probably S-C-H-M-E-K-E-L. He's exactly right. Is it a baby, so is it a baby's penis? Yeah! What is a shmeckle? Ah, like a little shmeckle. Okay so. I got it. We need to further explore and say things like baby penis So is it a baby's penis? What is a schmeckle? So it's a baby. Look at a little schmeckle.

Okay, so. I got it. I think we need to further explore and say things like baby penis on the air. I'm glad you got it. I got it. I'm caught up. I was gonna try and figure out a joke there

that wove it all together, and then I just sort of backed away from all of the pedophilia and all of the stuff happening. There we go. You don't say that. So this is a change of pace for South Park. They use Mr. Garrison as an avatar for Donald Trump in the first term.

You wanna rally? No, I don't think that's Mr. Garrison. God damn it. That's the other one. But that was a very good impression though. But they kind of shied away, like everyone knew they were talking about Trump, but they shied away and they used this gay character to be Donald Trump and they thought that that would

needle him. Now they're just going to use his face, which is usually reserved for tyrants. Yeah, right. We were howling, the two of us. Because again, I didn't know what I was walking into. I didn't realize that was the episode they were doing. And then it's, whoa, they got this whole thing going on with Paramount which by the way They just signed a 1.5 billion dollar deal and how do they turn the episode around so fast?

That it like you know well, have you seen the special they know the South Park for their I think 25th anniversary did documentary on how these episodes Come together comes together in a matter of days, and it's like everybody's hair is on fire But that's literally a drive a tape to load it into a satellite for them to make it to air Dan breaking NFL news according to Ralph Vachiano the card is now out for Justin Fields on the practice he's positioned behind a tree no sign of what's going on but the card is out for Justin Fields oh poor Stu gots man not Justin Fields to got