The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The Epic Fart

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

Today's cast: Dan, Chris, Jeremy, Lucy, and Mike. There is huge breaking news out of New York: an "epic fart" broke the tension in the Knicks locker room before their last game. That said, the name of the player is being kept a secret, so the journalistic wing of Meadowlark Media is setting out to find the truth of WHO did it. Then, Jayson Tatum and Luka Doncic (and somehow LeBron James) lead our NBA Postseason discussion after the Celtics closed out their series and the Mavericks took down the Thunder in Oklahoma City. Plus, the WICKED trailer leads us to one of the best viral vides of all-time, and the NFL schedule release videos took the internet by storm. Was that...Mike Tannenbaum? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Introducing Tim's new flatbread pizza, served hot out of the oven in four delicious flavors with Simply Cheese, starting from $6.99 plus tax. There's a new Tim's run in town. Try one today. Terms and conditions apply at participating restaurants in town. Try one today. Terms and conditions apply at participating restaurants in Canada. Lucy, what's going on with your little sister? Why is she so angry at you? We are in a fight right now. I thought we were having a good time. We talked on the phone yesterday. This morning I wake up to a text that said, I effing hate you. I said, why? She said, you're the worst sister ever. And I said, why? She said, you're the worst sister ever. And I said, why?

She said, you do all this stuff for my brother and my dad, you never do anything for me. How old is your sister? 22, the worst age. And I said. Put it on the poll please, Juju, is 22 the worst age? I was like, Kate, what's up? She said, you had mascots on the show yesterday

and you don't even bother to effing call me. Knowing that my one true dream in life is to be a professional mascot. Your job has gotten me nowhere. You either need to get it together or get a new job because I can't do this much longer. You knew that your little sister's one true dream job was to be a mascot?

Actually, this is the first I'm learning of this. But she is so angry. People don't know that she calls me pretty much every single day during the show. I don't pick up, and then she immediately texts me and says, you need to quit your job, I am more important. She's a star. That is sort of that generation, is it not?

The selfie generation? That's Kate. Mike Ryan, you missed. Bernie was here, and evident evidently I don't know which mascot was guilty of this. They said that one of the mascots was burping a great deal. I imagine that he was smoking a cigarette underneath the suit. He got a real coughing fit from smelling how much D got smelled like cigarettes But there's a funny character in a series about the mascot who underneath the mascot costume is an angry bitter burping smoker

What happened with that? What happened with the mascots here yesterday that you guys saw underneath the costume because getting a little close can show you it's nice From a distance the cartoon stuff But when you when you see and smell the human inside you're like oh wait a minute this human can see me I can't see this human this is a job for voyeurs people who want to be mascots I can't trust them. Like my sister. Stugatz gave Bernie a hug and I don't know if it's because he's a Knicks fan or because he smelled like cigarettes but I heard coughing. Yes. I can't confirm whether it was a human or just Bernie.

Coughing inside the suit, that's correct. There were also deep sighs whenever we were talking about the Panthers because it wasn't the heat, so Bernie was not very happy. We did do one of our better hockey segments with them in the room. The idea of being able to hear the mascots

under their breath sort of bitterly. Yes, the show you guys were getting because you can hear Mascot sounds because we were talking about the only team in town still playing. Mike, you're a little bit scared. Now you keep telling them. No, about the Bruins?

It's two games now. It's two games for your season and. No, no, no, no, not at all. If I were a Rangers fan, I'd be a bit more nervous. The series price on Florida is minus 750. The books have pretty supreme confidence that Florida's gonna close it out here in the next two games. What is it at the Rangers?

Minus 250. Oof. All right, I feel better now, honestly. That makes me feel better. They were a three-zero. Cause I am scared, but this is supposed to be scary. I've all right. I feel better now. Honestly, I mean Because I am scared but this is supposed to be scary I've kind of been saying this whole time like this is the feeling we're supposed to have I'm confident while being scared Well, that means start the show because you guys have been yelling at me for 24 hours about my game 7 takes So go ahead and start the show This is the Don LeBatt Show with the Stugats Podcast.

Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. We have giant breaking news around here, which is super unusual at this hour in the morning but we are chasing a story that we have not chased like this since JR Smith threw a cup of soup at an assistant coach in Cleveland and then we got to the heart and the bottom of that story we found out it was tortilla soup

we brought you that story before anyone else did. In the NBA I know many of you might want to talk about Dallas OKC. This is giant enough news that we are changing the call letters today at WFAT. We are changing the call letters in a second so that you understand how we meet this news in New York that the New York Knicks, that the reason they won that game against Indiana, even though their team is broken, and I know we love this motivational stuff, the stuff the coaches do before games and how it is that they get their teams ready for a moment. The New York Knicks against the Indiana Pacers,

a little scared because the previous game had been down 43 points, their teams injured. points, the teams injured. The tension in the locker room before game five of a scared Knicks team that didn't know quite what it was with confidence was broken and this story was broken by Fred Katz. The tension was broken when someone in the locker room released what is being reported to be a quote epic fart. An epic fart cut the tension in the room and the New York Knicks then went out and did what they did against the Indiana Pacers. We are pursuing this story. We are pursuing Fred Katz. He says he's not going to say who it was says he's not gonna say who it was. We need to find out who it was.

We need to narrow it down. Well, whoever denied it, supplied it. We need to get to the bottom of this. I didn't even do that on purpose. I want this story aired out. Didn't do that on purpose either. I don't wanna make a bunch of fart jokes here. I do wanna find out though though what happened in that room,

the reported details. W-F-A-T. Excellent, there we go. Now we're ready to cover this story correctly. We've got new call letters. We've got new imaging. Chris Cody, as always, he's really, he's really getting good at this executive producer job.

The way he does seamlessly things on the fly. W-F-A-T. R. Who is that? Who is that? It's me. It's just Jeremy? Yeah.

It's just Jeremy, okay. Yeti wasn't available this early. All right, so Fred Katz is not telling us who it is. He's got a responsibility as a journalist to tell us who it is. Like you can't make that story partial. You can't credit the fart and then not credit the fart maker. WFAT. And also what happened in that Dallas OKC game. Super interesting to me just from this perspective. Okay. Because you know how much I don't like some of the intangible

bullshit we attach to sports. Like yes, they were motivated by a fart. Of course. That's why they won or Leader guy screaming on the sideline. I fall in love with Paul Maurice because he is the neck bulges with veins Okay, see throughout my history covering that sport. It's usually super predictable this time of year It's gonna be one and two all the time one two and three this time of year. It's going to be one and two all the time, one, two, and three. It's not usually a five, you know, Houston Rockets did it with Hakeem Elijah. Shaq's still mad about it last night. It's one of my favorite things in sports television when Barkley actually makes Shaq sensitive and mad, reminding him what Hakeem did to him. But five seeds don't win that series generally. The one seed don't win that series generally. The one seed at home,

you could just go ahead and say, that's gonna win a game seven, and maybe OKC will. But the thing that I find interesting about this is that OKC is the youngest team in the league. They are like a college team. North Carolina starting five was about the same age. And I'm always told that these guys gotta learn

through the failure. You can't just go to the front of the life that it's got a feel the way it's felt for blue can kairi for them to be able in those moments to win when it becomes playoff basketball and so i don't know what you've means i thought it was going to be knucklehead ball stan is saying not that team they're poised that seems not going to do young they're not gonna do what Carl Anthony Towns and Anthony Edwards might, which is knucklehead ball.

But they're young and they got, got by two veterans, two veterans who have like sizzled under. What were you saying about him in that EP chair? Sorry about that. Kyrie Irving and Luka Doncic have burned under that hot light for many years of public scrutiny. OKC just got here and it really is legitimately confusing to me because I would have just said OKC was better all year, they're younger, they're faster, look, Luca's on one leg. I love what that team does in general. I'm gonna love to watch them grow. Did you see the tweet that said

Chet Holmgren looks like Abraham Lincoln was dealing coke at the University of Miami? Can we put that on the poll? Does Chet, yes I did see that because of how he was dressed. Does Chet Holmgren look like he was Abraham Lincoln dealing coke while he was at the University of Miami? He's young and I never know when these guys say like they always do after failures. We'll learn from this. We'll learn from this. But teams like Minnesota and OKC never get to actually advance in this sport. They've got to suffer first.

Boston doesn't get to win before the last three or four seasons feel like they do. That's almost universal, right? That's without exception. There's nobody who's ever gone to the front of the line and won a title the way OKC in Minnesota would have to this year, correct? History of the sport. History of the sport would suggest, like there've been a couple outliers

that they actually get to the final and surprise people with a run. I think you could maybe say, even though at the time they were like both top 15 players in the league, but the Penny Hardaway, Shaquille O'Neal, Magic were ahead of schedule. And then they ran into Akim Olajuwon.

I also think you can make an argument for that. OKC with Westbrook and Kevin Durant and James Harden didn't do a great deal of suffering before getting to the final. They were always at Achilles heel for that first game. You're even making an accomplishment, and you should just getting there. Just getting there. You don't get to go through the front of the line

It's such an interesting thing in that sport that there needs to be a form of suffering and that the young people Actually have to learn and I say all this knowing that okay See could win the next two games because these things do tend to be pretty predictable We get to game seven and the one wins like however it is we get there We get to game seven and the one wins. Like however it is, we get there, we get to game seven and the one wins because that games at home. Yeah. But the sport has changed a lot in recent years. That's true. There's, we just had an NBA funnels last year where there was an eight seed that made it that and the Celtics Celtics win more on the road than they do on the at home in

the playoff somehow. Yeah. We're in a really strange era right now in the NBA, and historically it's not really a sport that has these super long windows, so it's almost like we're this close, we gotta do it now. Howdy listeners, it's Mike and you know a lot has changed over the years. Just look at sports, there's instant replay, a three-point line, there were shifts and then not shifts. But one thing that hasn't changed over the course of all those things I just mentioned, the great taste of Miller Lite. That's right, it's so good. And it's also less filling. So what's the

best thing about Miller Lite, the original light beer? Well, Miller Lite sparked this debate way back in 1975. We still haven't settled it. Be like me. I don't pick one. I like it because it's both. Miller Lite keeps it simple. Undebatable quality. Great taste. Only 96 calories. It's a beer that strips away everything that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. You don't have to choose what's best. Be like me. Say both. Miller Lite. Great taste. And is less filling. Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan. Or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces. Fewer cows and carbs and premium regular beer. Don LeBotard! He seems like a not nice guy and he's always been a not nice guy.

I don't care for him and I hope he has the day he deserves. Oh! Wow! That's deep! Stugats! I hope he has the day he deserves. That's how I get people when they're really mean to me. I'm not like, go F yourself. I'm like, I hope you have the day you deserve.

It's a great kind insult. It's so much like, it twists the knife. Yes. It's beautiful. It's leaving it to the. Yes. It's beautiful. It's leaving it to the cosmos to sort it out. That's a less Southern bless your heart. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the StuGards. Lucy, you were no more interested in this show

and its history than you were when Chris Cody made that fart sound. I am just learning about you that you appear to be a fart girl. I am foot girl, fart girl, lots. Foot, foot, foot, foot, foot, foot. She likes that one. I, like my test for people is like, hey, if I'm like trying to figure out if I vibe with you, like a good fart joke or burp joke. If you laugh, you're probably pretty chill.

If you're like, no, that's juvenile humor, get over it. Farts have always been funny. They will always be funny. Love them. W-F-A-T. Juju, put it on the poll please. Are farts the original joke? Because I do believe before speech that was, you know,

somebody was climbing up a tree and nobody can communicate and there wasn't language and that's the original joke. You don't think it's got your nose? Might be someone just falling down, I don't know. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Let's put some nominees up here. Got your nose, falling down.

Pointing to something that's, oh you have a little something on your shirt and then running the finger up to the nose. I still get folks with that. My daughter loves that. I taught her that, she does it to everyone she sees. Well, let me ask you a question. Will I have video at any point today

of you talking to your daughter and trying to explain, as I requested yesterday, the whole yokich thing? I'm working on it. It was a long edit, it did not go like I thought. It wasn't as funny as I thought. My daughter wasn't in the mood to play ball. Let's just put it that way. You're super into these NBA playoffs.

I don't, I thought I wanted an NBA with more parody, and it turns out I'm not in on it. And I have larger issues with the sport just in general. I think the sport's a little bit broken. But I was watching Celtics Cavs last night on a second TV. And I know he's got a contract issue and he may be on the move. But a sore calf, a sore calf,

is why Donovan Mitchell's missed the game. And I know I'm in hockey mode and I'm not trying to do this, but the shit hockey players play with. Oh, I thought of that yesterday. It wasn't just that. Cleveland had a bunch of guys who were out. Yeah, Alan, I understand. Does Alan have broken ribs?

He took a really bad shot. But Laverte, all of a sudden, Laverte was out. Yeah, but the sore calf, there is no tomorrow in that sport. You sit out the sore calf because you're worried that you may make the injury worse Or you may get another injury, but there is no tomorrow You're you're you're going out with Max Drews having to be your guy. That's not that's not tough It was funny to see him also standing on the sideline the entire time with that sore calf coaching his teammates That's a real bad look and again, I don't know anybody.

I'm tangentially paying attention to the sport. You guys got that on this show. But I saw the injury report and I just couldn't believe. That's how your main guy's going to go out. That's his last act potentially in a Cavs uniform? While Reinhard gets hit in the face by a- He has a hole in his cheek. Sam Reinhard had a hole in his cheek! Sam Reinhardt had a hole in his cheek!

I do want to just stop for a moment because I've actually asked around on some of this LeBron stuff and it's more interesting than I thought it was and probably not terribly surprising when you put the the pieces together on this but When you think of what's birthed Over 15 years that turns Kyrie's career into this weird thing He makes the greatest shot in the history of the sport and then he breaks free from LeBron To learn his own things Everything that has happened after that Leaves us today in a place where Kyrie Irving is sort of damaged from

everything that happened. James Harden is damaged. Kawhi Leonard damaged in in some ways by everything that that's birthed and so if Donovan Mitchell's unhappy that will be how he exits. That's how it is done. Go don't injure yourself again. Don't risk anything like Kevin Durant did by playing in the finals and tearing his Achilles. But the thing I wanted to tie to LeBron that was super interesting that I hadn't pieced together when we were talking about this yesterday, his last act so far with the Lakers is to get that last question as punctuation, hey, did you think at all during this game about whether you're gonna be here or not? And he took that long pause and he's like, I'm not gonna answer that.

And he dropped the microphone and he walked off. And then everything after that is, how do I leverage the Lakers into whatever I want? Is JJ Reddick my coach? Is my son gonna be drafted by you? Get me all the players that I want. You want me to end my career here in Holley? What I'd like to, clutch management thrives here.

We're running all the meetings out here. place we walk into the executives can't be happier to just give us money yeah but give me everything i want that's how it'll end from the bron and what he birthed on the side is kairi erving over here in donovan mitchell and they're going to get there is how they get there is but when you say the sports will be broken and the games are real close like it's not Like it's not hockey, it's not hockey. I'm not saying it's bad basketball

because I love basketball, but I'm not getting a lot of Brunson Sixers. Like I want more Murray game winners, I want the games to be close, and the way the Celtics are playing, ah, lose by 20, win by 20, whatever. Again, tangentially following, always on mute, it seems like the 15 point game

is like the new five point game game these games aren't really compelling Down the stretch and also just another observation. I've seen Jason Tatum play playoff basketball for what feels like a decade He and he always complains for calls But literally every time and he's gotten a fair amount of text this postseason because of it He thinks he's Michael Jordan in terms of him not getting calls. And he is just constantly complaining up and down the court. I will be fascinated at what the sociology of this generation becomes as we keep guarding sort of framing Jason Tatum as if he is a formed muscular 35 year

old Jordan while not allowing for the last 10 years of whatever his generation Has done with fame and power that makes Ben Simmons short-circuit over here when he enters the fame machine Like whatever it is that's happened there with Tatum as you guys wonder why is Kevin Durant so angry and bitter well He did these years this way through all of this power and Tatum's gonna get chewed up by some of what's around him but if he thinks it's Jordan it's because he's probably treated like I want to be the face of the league you're perfect you're perfect in every way we'd love to make you the face of the league all you got to do is win here's your team we'll get Marcus out of here hey Jalen Brown we'll pay we'll get you whatever you need you'll take all the shots at the end all the

18-footers here it is here you'll have the opportunity if he needs to take the shots that's what he might show you ask him why he has a God complex he say at the end, all the 18 footers, here it is, here it is. Well, you'll have the opportunity. He needs to take the shots. That's what he needs to show. But you ask him why he has a God complex, he'd say, because I am God, at his most honest. Did you just quote Alec Baldwin? That's what I just did. That's so old that I don't think anyone else would've

caught that on this show. Like, if you did this yesterday, it would've just slid by. It's a good reference for the old timers in our audience. Is that malice? Yes, it's a great monologue, one of the best. Might not be the best in Alec Baldwin's career. No, he's a monologue guy. But yes, you ask that doctor operating on a patient,

does he have a God complex? And at his most honest, that doctor would tell you in that moment when I'm holding the scalpel, I am God. I am God. I am God. At Celtics basketball, he's the center of everything. In that city where they care about that sport, like maybe the Patriots are that now,

but it's never been the Patriots. That sport's the one that matters. It's the first one that gave Boston its identity. It's getting outrated by the other sport. He's the perfect, is it in Boston? It got, in the first round, and granted the Heat weren't the super compelling opponent, but in the first round, the Bruins and Celtics

went head to head and the Bruins outrated them. Hockey would be the, yeah, I mean, they have burst so much sports media because of how much they care about sports in that market. It's super annoying how those two teams in particular, the Celtics and the NBA and the Bruins and the NHL, are covered because the mainstream media knowing how those two teams in particular, the Celtics and the NBA and the Bruins and the NHL are covered because the mainstream media

is essentially birthed out of that region of the country. So they established the narrative for everybody. We saw this off season with the pursuit of Damian Lillard in which the Northeast just simply could not let that stand. And we're seeing it right now with how this Panthers officiating discussion, which has just gotten totally out of hand is happening. We will get to that in a second but I did want to ask the crew because of how we discussed this the day that LeBron

showed up in Cleveland and used the currency that he's used over 15 years to dominate the sport because I I do find this endlessly fascinating and also I understand why people object to hey media can't you cover the new guys how about the new guys and i'm like the media grew up the voices now this is how we do it for fifteen and twenty years it's this guy and wherever

he's going this is what we're following and what he's doing is the oldest player in the league it's a gangster move he the Lakers last time you saw Jenny bus she was pawing at him Jeannie Jeannie I'm sorry is that a fine no it's all right you just misspoke move on they were hugging him Kirk Rambas's wife and Jeannie bus last time we saw them were holding LeBron as if they know that he's responsible for the Laker economy, which he is, and they will give him anything but his last move of leverage publicly as a Laker. No

comment and then he shows up in Cleveland with a bottle of wine and here we go. I've got the leverage as the oldest player in the league. I don't know about the audience but when you start piecing these things together, understand that's strategic. All of it. He's gotten very good at it. He's mastered it. No one's ever done it like him. Yeah, no one's had the opportunity to do it like him. It's just such a different day and age. It'd be really curious to see like you're shaped by the culture around you and just Michael Jordan came from a different generation. I'd really be fascinated with all the things

that the old school NBA fans attribute to Michael Jordan and this mentality that he had. If you plopped Michael Jordan in today's day and age, will he feel like the Michael Jordan that you know and love or will he feel a little bit more like Jason Tatum? Will he feel a little bit more emo? Would he be on social media? Would he have selfie videos?

Would he be doing the kinds of stuff? How would he dress walking to a game? Well, it couldn't be worse than what he was dressing to games like in the 90s. I'll give him that. Well, what you were talking about with Tatum and complaining on calls, if you watch the late game

and you watched the Dallas Mavericks, Luca, the announcers were actually praising him for bouncing back from a game in game four where he was doing a lot of complaining where early in the game last night he was getting mugged. He made a shot where he was in midair, got hit right in front of the three point line, switched hands and threw it up with one hand,

made the shot and didn't say anything to the officials and sort of went in with this mentality of, I'm not gonna say anything, I'm not gonna complain about calls and he was getting mugged, but then later in the game, ultimately got those calls and had a tremendous game on the road in game five.

So he had that mentality. Luca's a dog, I love watching him and also if you can look past Kyrie Irving's past, where he spewed hateful propaganda on his social media channels, he's actually been very low key for Kyrie. And he's fitting in quite nicely, and he's matured in that we're not really talking about.

Think about all the things that have gone on. Think about all the things that are going on right now. You haven't heard Kyrie Irving weigh in on any of it. I love how him just not talking is him maturing. He's just like, he's keeping quiet. No, I'm with you. Andy hasn't been very good in a couple of the games. PJ Washington has been probably better in the series.

He's scored nine points, nine points, and 12 points in three of those games, and they're up three-two. But he's been great for them. And I want to examine later down the road just some of that stuff I don't understand on how it is OKC has to grow up and then we can continue to get back to basketball being largely predictable although it's changing the way that the three-pointers are changing all of the scoreboards. I wanted to continue a conversation from yesterday that Chris Cody was still yelling at me about though because he thinks I've fanned out in terms of all I care about his content

I only look at things as a media person so of course I want game sevens but I keep looking at him and saying but if you're a sports fan who's confident in your team and you say that you're building the Mecca is The best place in the world that all the other players are afraid of because of how crazy it gets Why would you not want to game seven in your home building? I'm not saying that you don't want game six at Indiana to win But why would you be afraid of a game seven when it's better than a game? Sample I don't know if it's because you've been a journalist longer than you haven't

been, but this is an asinine. Oh God. It's one of the craziest things you've ever said. No, I want to, I'm a panthers fan. I'd rather it end Friday night. Of course. And, and, and if you, if you get to the mountain top and you can reflect on it, yeah, that game seven, that's the stuff that legends are made of. but no, I'd prefer a 4 game sweep every round if I could.

We have been having a form of this argument since 2010 and you guys always end up on the other side of this argument from me and I keep telling you, don't you understand that the fear is part of the fun? Yeah for the neutral observer, No, it doesn't. You have zero allies in this discussion other than neutrals. It doesn't. You act like we're the crazy ones.

No one's agreed with you. No one. For 15 years, no one has agreed with me and I do not care for this reason. The best moments that you ever have had in sports start with you being afraid. The more afraid you are, the more fun and memorable it ends up being after it is done.

The Ray Allen shot is remembered forever around here. Yeah, but I'm not, what are you, yeah, in retrospect, like I said, if you get to the mountain top, the higher, I'm not saying that you want it beforehand. Why would you fear the fear when the fear makes it all better Dan your entire argument is you saying it on the front end no I don't want it I want to be over yeah it was great when Ray Allen made the shot do you know what was going on in my inside my guts that's the

good stuff that's what was going on inside my guts at keg south during that game that's the good stuff I had my blanket wrapped around my head sitting on my bed This is why you ride what rollercoaster I still is not right. It's why you watch horror movies The I don't watch horror movies Dan for a reason. It's why you listen to murder podcast. I don't That's actually surprising at all. That's just judging book by the cover. I love SVU, but that's different. It is surprising that you don't listen to murder pod. I feel like you're listening to a murder pod right now. Yeah, pretty much.

Dan, terrible take. Just bad stuff. The fear makes it so much better. But you just said you threw in the little line of, I'm not saying you want it on the front end, but you asked Sam Boyle yesterday. The argument is based on the front end, that's why it's ridiculous! I'm not saying that you should prefer it before you go in, but what I'm telling you is after it is done, it's the preferred thing!

Let me deconstruct this argument. Right now what you're saying to sports fans that have skin in the game is, do you want, I can tell you right now, you advance one step further in your pursuit of a championship, or do you want a one game sample risking not? Understood, but if I just make it, would you prefer a game seven or a game six? Which one produces the maximum fear, therefore the maximum memories, therefore the maximum fun? Dan, Ray Allen was in a game six.

Understood, because it saved the season. You remember it forever but it produced a game seven. For neutrals. That was one of the best series you've ever experienced as a sports fan in your life because you remember all of the details that got you to the maximum fear. For neutrals I 100% agree with you. I'm turning your mic off Dan. The The Dan Lipitard Show with Sugats is sponsored by BetterHelp. We all carry around different stressors, big and small. When we keep them bottled up, it can start to affect us negatively. Keeping things bottled up can feel like carrying a weight that gets heavier with time. Whether it's talking to a trusted friend, journaling, or seeking professional help,

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Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Get it off your chest with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash DLB today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash D-L-B. Don LeBretard. I want to talk to Hannah, the astrophysicist. I want to make bets with her. She's so smart.

No, but I want to, no, no, see, this is what I want to do with our show. No, not, no, don't let Billy's team of dumb demons spew all over the bottom of this company and piss all over the show. No. Ian broke down everyone that was drafted on the offensive line, except Senors because the Jets didn't need one. Let's have Ian go against the astrophysicist head to head and let's see, let's put some money on it.

You're informed idiot or Lucy's actually smart person who doesn't know anything, but at least we're gonna choose an astrophysicist and not Taylor's roommate who's not named Ian. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the StuGuard. We have mobilized all 45 MetalArk employees, including the ones in New York, as part of this WFART investigation. Fred Katz will join us

shortly, but we've also reached out, it's early yet, to five other beat writers who cover the Knicks, and we're going to reach out to all of them to see if we can find out who the farter was that won Game 5. But two claim of the Knicks writers, two claim to have no idea who the mysterious motivational farder is and one of them, Christian Winfield of the Daily News, he was willing to put his name on this report, he told us exclusively that the farder quote could be end quote a rotation player. So we will get you more information as it becomes available. Was it Josh fart?

Go go sit in the penalty box for a little while contextually I think he was covered really is he gonna do ours Isaiah fart and that was next and then but you kicked him out before he could do you workshopped it I was proud of him you were proud of that yeah he's chosen bad jokes I know like that the dad jokes are fine the bad dad jokes are fine if you have the proper framework it's just sometimes sometimes he just rams it in there. Chris Cody, do you have the imaging that I would like that would send him away for two minutes for high shticking?

No? Okay, let's do that please, because that's something I'd like. I'd like the whistle and someone sends him away for an assortment of hockey infractions. But we're gonna, this story, we're gonna get more on this story because I do think the fart's the original joke.

I don't have a better one that would just be easy, wordlessly understood, even though Mike says just point at someone's chest and then run a finger up to their nose. I don't think that that's a joke. I don't think that's the original joke. I don't think that's the original joke. I don't think- There's a difference between a gag and a joke.

That's a gag. Well then a joke has to be verbal. Right. Yeah, okay. But is a fart verbal? It has to be noisy. Does it have to be verbal or just audio? Now we're playing a little fast and loose

with the rules right here. Audio, are we? It has to be a sonic experience to be a joke. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Do you know the difference between a gag and a joke? Because I do not. As my punishment, Lucy, for having what you called a terrible take, and I think

I want to empower you more here to just get little prizes from correcting me in a way that embarrasses me. So. Like money? No, like the ability to talk about the things that you wanna talk about like wicked, which I don't wanna talk about. Oh, Jeremy's gonna die.

I don't wanna talk about wicked, I just want the money. Well that Jeremy's gonna. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, two more minutes for high-sticking. No, an extra two minutes for high-sticking. Don't do that to the kid, man. No, he does good work.

I understand, but this is not a reward for Jeremy. Jeremy's has got to be a punishment, and him having to sit out Lucy talking about Wicked when I don't want to talk about Wicked is a punishment. It's a good punishment for high-sticking. This is so awkward, but I don't care about Wicked, and I didn't watch the trailer, and I don't care about wicked and I didn't watch the trailer and I don't care at all So can I have the money? I?

Thought there was no money offered to you. I thought that you and Jeremy were dying to talk about wicked It's only Jeremy who wants to talk about we could talk on a day that Jess and Jeremy can't actually participate. I Don't care about wicked the movie that's coming out. I'm not a big Ariana Grande fan She's lost me recently, but what I do care about is this one specific viral video Yes, the wicked witch of the east, bro. You're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that I'm wrong? Am I wrong? She wore a crown and she came down in a ball game, though. Grow up, bro.

Grow up. All-timer. Legendary. It's great. That was actually Joe Burrow. Oh my god. Speaking of football, schedule release day was yesterday, and it was fairly funny to me, as someone who doesn't care about that, to watch the amount of noise and buzz because the marketing campaigns for these schedules are so good. Football is now making art. When they don't have anything, they put it in front of you

and it gathers up and takes the media stream with it. And I guess the Chargers did the best job is what I can gather from people who are watching all of these and are just amazed at how creative people are. The Titans were really funny, but here's what the best part of it is to me. It was so fun watching everybody love their creative football yesterday and I feel like after watching all of that nobody knows where anyone's actually playing. That all of the stuff

was so creative that the games are incidental, the schedule's incidental, we're just enjoying the Chargers being creative on social media. Yeah, all last night I just sat and watched video after video and I was like, these are so hilarious, they're so creative, like, this seems like such a fun job. And then I was like, wait, I don't know, I don't know who anybody is playing. Outside of their divisional matchups, no clue,

but I don't really care. I think it's like a fun, engaging way to like let creatives do creative things and the Chargers did such a great job doing like a Sims version of the schedule release and the commanders did like a is it cake or not the Cowboys did a FaceTime video They all did so wonderful. It would have been funny if some team just went old school and just released the schedule Old cut out just all the games here. It is. Here it is. A schedule magnet. The Packers, right?

The Packers should have just put out a magnet with just a magnet with 17 names on it. I enjoy the Chief's hydraulic press because I follow a bunch of hydraulic presses on Instagram. Did the Chargers win the day, though? Yeah, the Chargers. By trolling Harrison Bucker. That was my favorite part.

They usually win the day. They have the best social media team. If you're not following them, you really should. They're super creative. They do great stuff. So they finished their video with the actual schedule, and they did a Sims version of Harrison Bucker in the kitchen, where he belongs.

Baking a pie? Is he baking a pie there? That's where a man's place is, the kitchen. Well, cherry pie, actually. Oh, cherry pie. His life didn't start till then. Who's fighting Zion Williamson here? Is that Mike Tannenbaum?

Why is Mike Tannenbaum fighting Zion Williamson there? I don't understand what that video is. Welcome back, Jeremy. I'm sorry you missed the Wicked talk. It was a glorious time. Looks like he got a good Mike Tan ninbomb. Does look like a dark version of Mike Tan ninbomb. That man was black, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Cool. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] Yes. To me, it's not giving Mike Tan a bob. His face structure, I kind of see what Dan is doing, like with the shape of his face. I don't, because that is a black man.

It looks like, hey man, you've told me that Troy Aikman looks like Jay Z. Well the internet told us that and they nailed that one. I just don't see this one. I've nailed this one. Don't tell me I didn't nail this one. This is that, yes, this is, I'm trying to do the recreation of the Troy Aikman looks like Jay Z

with Mike Tannenbaum that is correct I don't see it. Well, okay. We I'm not gonna argue like Zion the hairline to be fair skinny Those arms are very skinny on Zion and there's an awkward photo Fred Katz. It's not awkward That's the photo I was talking about Fred Katz is going to join us here a little bit uh... to find out what it is that's going on in the next locker room but jerry go ahead and have added you missed out on the wicked talk you should i should have sent out again for a third straight a hat trick of bad jokes uh... but what is it that you had to supplement uh... us on wicked on i don't know why I'm rewarding you. Truthfully, it was that viral video,

the she wore a crown and she came down in a bubble, dog. It's the best viral video that's ever existed. But the Wicked trailer, the thing that's crazy is it's the first of these movie musicals in a while to actually let you know it's a musical because Mean Girls and Wonka were hiding that from you, they were stifling it. Where, yeah, Wonka. I'm just learning Wonka was a musical.

That's what I'm telling you. You didn't know it. You only saw the previews. And Mean Girls, Mean Girls also a musical. I knew that about Mean Girls, but Wonka, whoo. Lucy didn't know either. I didn't know Wonka. This is news to us. I knew Mean Girls and I only knew Mean Girls

because I kept seeing TikToks of people walking out the theater because they didn't realize it was a musical and they were very disappointed with the product. Exactly, but Wicked, the part that's gonna make fans that actually see it upset the actual fans of the musical is that they're making it a two parter. So the climactic moment right before the intermission when the movie really gets going

is just going to be the end of the movie and there's gonna be a credit that says Wicked, part one, and everyone is going to be devastated. The same way that the first Dune was really, really boring. Put it on the poll, are you gonna be devastated when Wicked just sets up a sequel? Hmm, if you see it, you're gonna be upset. Let's get some more B-roll out there

on just schedule release stuff because I know we have some audio here. The comment section is telling us that that might be Stephen A. Smith pictured with Zion Williamson and not Mike Tannenbaum. I'm, I'm. In your defense, to me it looks more like Mike Tannenbaum than Stephen A. Smith.

Outside of like one pretty big thing. I am telling you, and I don't know why you guys are objecting to this, not only do I see it, I see it clearly. I'm with Dan, honestly. Like the shape of his face, the hairline, I'm with you, but he's black. I understand that. You can't bury that. I don't see color.

Never have Also contextually why is Mike Tannenbaum with Zion Williams and Zion seems like a frayed yeah, that would be why Wait, I want to be clear on something here. I Did go for the joke with Mike Tannenbaum because I didn't see a scenario in which Mike Tannenbaum would be opposite Zion Williamson and yelling at him. The reason that I thought that joke was funny is because, not what you think it is, just because of how much it looks like Mike Tannenbaum

while it couldn't possibly be Mike Tannenbaum. Yeah, because of one big thing. Because, no, well that's the role they're asking him to play. Okay, well that's complicated, but to me it's the eyebrows. If he can get past again the one big thing. There's a little Ruffalo in there too. Okay, now we're talking.

Now we're talking. And he's such a good actor, he can pull it off. It's the same family of stuff. It is. You're not gonna convince me otherwise. What else do we have though in terms of B-roll off the scheduling? Because the Steelers did some stuff that has audio in it, but it was just Jeremy jokes. It was just bad jokes.

Let's not do that. Aaron Rodgers with an alien. We shouldn't do the Steelers stuff. By the way, I don't believe him. I think he watches porn. He definitely does. The quickest way to convince me that you watch porn is by saying you don't believe him. I think he watches porn. He definitely does. The quickest way to convince me that you watch porn is by saying you don't watch porn. Howdy listeners, it's Mike and you know a lot has changed over the years. Just look at sports.

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