The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The Finger Lick Seen Around the World

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

Today's Cast: Dan, Amin, Chris, Jessica, Jeremy, Roy, and Tony. Dan makes a special trip into the studio on a Friday solely to make fun of Jeremy after he was caught licking his fingers in the background of a picture posted to the Miami Heat's social media accounts. Dan and Amin depose Jeremy about the details of his viral moment while the rest of the crew absolutely roasts him for his gross public behavior. Then, David Samson is here to discuss eating random foods with a fork and knife, the NFL Network layoffs, the Mets attendance struggles, and his insurrectionist behavior against the show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. 29 years later, Cuervo is still going strong. Family owned from the start, same family, same land. Now's a good time to enjoy Cuervo. The tequila that invented tequila. Go to Cuervo.com to shop tequila or visit a store near you. Cuervo, now's a good time. Trademarks owned by Becle, SAB the CV, copyright 2024, Proximo.

Jersey City, New Jersey, please drink responsibly. Hi, can I take your order, please? Is that it? Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. We will get to the Kansas City Chief Super Bowl champions possibly leaving Kansas City. A story that delights me.

I wish there were more free agency and freedom among teams to just bring Patrick Mahomes to your city unless the taxpayers cough up some money. It should be like the Globetrotters. They should just go from city to city. We're playing tonight here. It's such a great bargaining chip. Would you like the next 10 years of Patrick Mahomes City X? Would you build us a stadium?

But we'll get to that in a second, implausible though it may be, because we've got giant news. I wasn't supposed to be in today but I came in today and not because I knew Stu gots wasn't gonna be here I came in today just because of what happened during the heat came last night I'm not talking about the heat losing a crushing game and me not quite believing in this heat team just because of what it did last year I don't believe that that's recreatable from year to year. I don't believe Jimmy's just gonna

summon something in the playoffs, but we'll get to that in a second as well. The thing that I saw last night that made me come in, Jeremy Tesche, Emmy award-winning Heat prodigy, was caught last night in a moment that I'd like to put up on the screen. I don't know who caught this photograph. I don't know where this was put.

I'm hoping it was put on the broadcast. Jimmy Butler is shooting a shot and behind him, what you will see. Where's Waldo? What you will see behind him. And I swear, my God, if this had happened to me, Jeremy, what the internet would do to me if I was behind Jimmy Butler licking my fingers because of something I had just eaten with half of my finger in my mouth

because I'm clearly eating something in a way that is wildly unprofessional is a bit disgusting. Your fingers look extra fat. Whoa. I was fine with all of it until your fingers look extra fat. In any... Whoa. I was fine with all of it until you called my fingers fat. Jeremy, you're gonna have to sit this out. Pretend there's a lot in your mouth, okay? Hey yo.

Wow. And be quiet for a while because this picture, and good Lord, Jessica enjoyed the horror of this. Explain to me, Jessica, what washed over you when you saw in a moment of really profound internet disgrace, Jeremy Eaton. Okay, well, let's start from the beginning. So the Heat posted this after their brutal, brutal,

brutal home loss to the Sixers. I mean, the playoffs started, right? I mean, and this was a playoff L. And they posted this with like one of the sad emoji, but the one with like the extra big pouty face. And so I retweeted it and I was like, oh man, that's a fun emoji for the Heat. Oh, but you hadn't seen, at that point you hadn't seen this?

And then someone replied and was like, is that Jeremy? And I lost my mind. I'm like, adding insult to injury. Jeremy's probably devastated about Heat playing the worst fourth quarter of the season against the Sixers with Embiid back, losing by four points at home in the playoffs and the Knicks won last night.

I mean, it couldn't have been a worse night for Heat fans and then this happened. I would like everyone to sit out this question who knows the actual answer because it was talked about. I don't know the answer. I want people to guess what he was eating based on what it is that you're seeing in a photograph there that would require him.

Let me see it again here. It's a single finger that he has in his mouth, right? It's the index finger. Hey, can I dissect this a little bit? This is my specialty right here. If you're doing one finger, you have a fist closed. This man was, we just caught him at that finger. He was cleaning all those bad boys.

I know that five finger sprawled out. That is a mid. He's just going through the fingers right there. We caught him on the pointer. He's got them already lined up like an assembly line. Zz, zz, zz, zz, zz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z- by saying yesterday the media room dining was burgers and hot dogs and mac and cheese. Now this is late in the game, I haven't eaten since 2 p.m.,

I'm about to die if I don't eat something. I know this, late in the game, this is not a full meal, this is a snack of some sort. Here's what you've got wrong, and this I've got some area, some expertise in. That's comfort eating because of that fourth quarter. Like what is happening there is not that he hasn't eaten since two p.m.

It's that the Heat have devoured his insides and they're playing poorly. And oh shit, the Sixers are healthy again and that's what they look like when it comes back. But he's gotta go on TV after. Here's my question though, was he doing like the thing where you're licking something off your fingers or when there's an extra cheesy buildup

perhaps from like a Cheeto puff and you gotta use the teeth. You gotta suck your fingers? Or is he cleaning his finger and you gotta use the teeth To kind of scrape it off. Are you cleaning the finger here? That's not a scrape. Look at those lips That's not a scrape. It could be the end of a scrape though It could be the that we could clean in the shit out of that finger and look at those lips He's like two knuckles deep we he is a whistle He is one knuckle deep but you can see the funny phrase

He's approaching no, but he's approaching the second knuckle like right there and he can object to the fingers being fat He can object to that but camera adds five. This is an unflattering photo How many telephoto lens Dan how many cameras did he eat? Jeremy what was it? No, no, no Wow. Jeremy, what was it? No, no, no, no, no. First of all, was it a scrape? I'm saying popcorn, any other guesses?

Hold on, Jeremy, first answer the question of, is that the fourth finger to have ended up in the mouth? And we caught that, that action photograph was late. Yes or no, and do not answer dishonestly. Just yes or no. Probably yes. Did you get all five of the finger the all four of the fingers and the thumb yes or no yes or no it's generally a

four-finger cleaning because you rarely touch with pinky the pink answer is no usually you grab stuff with here and it's rare you're involving the pinky was it a scrape it was a scrape pinky that gives off chip I know a scrape when I see only two fingers that gives off a chip hold it was a scrape. Ooh, a pinky, that gives off chip. I know a scrape when I see one. If it's only two fingers, that gives off a chip hold. If it's a scrape, I'm going back to the mac and cheese. If it's every finger, it's popcorn. You know how we go in there with all fingers, whereas a chip, I can go two fingers.

You gotta lick the whole hand if it's popcorn. Yeah, yeah. Does anyone have any other guesses other than popcorn? I already know what it was. Barbecue chips. Barbecue, you have the flavor, okay, Tony. What are you laughing about? The shot of me licking my hand No, it's very disgusting

I'm my hit my palms are sweaty from how disgusting this is cuz I hate putting my fingers in my mouth especially like that was this Scraping whatever's on my fingers into my disgusting to do that at a basketball arena really really disgusting Babies, I want to come I want to hold on. I was I a basketball arena. Really, really disgusting when you're shaking hands, kissing babies. All right, I want to come. Hold on, I wasn't done. Oh, OK. Cartoonishly, what I have Jeremy doing is having a single hot dog just like, ffff.

Oh, no! Like a cartoon. He just caught him at the end. He just finished putting it in his mouth. Eating it so fast that the ketchup comes off it. And he's just making sure that the ketchup stays in at the end. Exactly. It's just like one shot of a hot dog down his gully.

And that's the end right there. He just puts it in. Like if we had an x-ray, we'd see the rest of the hot dog. If the finger wasn't there, what would leak out is a couple of drops of ketchup that he hadn't just kept in. Or the back end of the dog. He's like, oh. He was plugging a hole.

All right, Jeremy, I now have a number of different questions for you, and I ask you for the first time in your life to be efficient with the answer. Yes or no? It will be some yes or no questions, but first I wanna ask, when in the game was this? Probably either late third or early fourth quarter.

Is this a habit of yours when it comes to eating? Is this regularly when you eat or have you been caught in a particularly inopportune moment? That is normally when I will eat some food, yes. Do you often eat and then stick your fingers? It's a deposition, that is correct. Do you often eat and then stick your fingers? It's a deposition, that is correct. Do you often stick your fingers? I wanna see what the odds are of you being caught

in this compromising a position. So how often and what foods would you normally be eating when you would do something like this? I changed my routine last night. Normally I would be eating pretzels. I was not eating pretzels. Mm, pretzels. There we go, so we can strike pretzels off the list.

Is this a sauce or a powder that is being powdered? I'm not gonna be deposed. It's a powder. So are you thinking Cheetos? Like something Cheetos related? It's a powder. Do they have those at the Casaya Center? Is popcorn, it's not gonna have a powder on it.

Well no, they do have the little seasoning thing at the heat arena. They've got like a seasoning little tube. I'm telling you guys, don't sleep on the sprawled fingers here. White cheddar popcorn. I think it's- I think there's a bit of that residue in your hand. This reads popcorn. I'm telling you, the finger spread out.

He's going through the- But he said it's a scrape. And he said it's only a couple of fingers. I don't believe him. I know that. I know that. I see that. That is a popcorn hand right there

They're gonna hold him in contempt. I'm working his way down the hand. I mean look at that thing I don't just do this and put one finger in Chris. Hold on permission to treat the witnesses hostile Yes, okay now Chris go after him sustained it's bullshit dude, it's popcorn clearly popcorn all five fingers You're clearly there going down the line, you did the thumb right before this, that would have been a worse look, I think, the thumb. I have a number of questions, please, okay? I understand that you all wanna get in on the fun here, but I don't want this to disappear just yet.

The number of fingers, Jeremy, that were licked here were, give me a number. Two to three. Oh, he's already cracking, I'm telling you, this was all five. Did you, with that finger, where it's being caught, did you also scrape around the edges of your gums? No, absolutely not, absolutely not.

That's what they call a gummy. I wanna defend Jeremy. All of us, in our private moments, all of us, all of us in our private moments do what Jeremy does. Like, I don't like licking my fingers, like food off my fingers. My fingers have to be so clean. Yeah, I already bite my nails,

so this is like, it's not that different. I have a couple of friends, believe it or not, who have said to me that they rarely get sick because they are so vigilant about never putting their guess who's here all the time in their never sick mouth. I mean, we've had a lot of sickness this week. You were what degree of mortified by everything that happened here, Jeremy, because this is an inopportune time for you to be caught as a professional.

You don't have you don't have a lot of public shame, I don't think, on your resume, where people, where the internet can turn on you and call you disgusting. Right now, Tony is standing next to you, and he's palpably disgusted by this entire conversation. This is where the line is for Tony. I just said, I asked the question, were you scraping out your gums?

And Tony is palpably disgusted by the idea of that. Tony's claiming he never puts his fingers in his mouth for a single reason ever. He's a bold-faced liar. To take- Hold on, hold on, you relax over there. Yeah, take it easy. No, cause that's a lie.

Overruled. Thank you, I mean. When I eat something, like I was at Flannies the other day and I had ribs, right? Okay. I eat my ribs with a fork and a knife.annies the other day and I had ribs, right? Okay. I eat my ribs with a fork and a knife. That's worse than what Jeremy did. No it's not because I don't-

You eat ribs with a fork and a knife. Yeah, that's worse than what Jeremy did. No, because I don't wanna get- Penalty box. I don't wanna get- Thank you. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not because of my cleanliness, sorry, no. I don't wanna get barbecue sauce under my fingernails

because then it smells for like three days. I don't wanna do that. So when I'm eating chips, I'll eat the chips. And then I like to have a wet wipe handy so that I can wipe the stuff off my fingers without putting it in my mouth. If you eat your ribs with a fork and knife, are you fun at parties?

Yes or no? I'm great at parties. You seem like you are, but the ribs thing really just. It's an easy thing to judge. I think most people, I think Mike Greenberg eats sandwiches and hamburgers with a fork and knife. I eat my hamburgers like, you know, with both hands. I imagine that David Sampson probably has some of this as a bit of a

germaphobe, but I... But he doesn't like his fingers because he can't taste the flavoring coming out. Yeah, there's no point for him. I mean, Sampson's super confusing to me. He still eats super fattening tasty things even though he can't taste anything. Like I, the only thing that I have not thought that would be bad about losing taste and smell is that it would be easier to diet because you don't care whether you're eating asparagus or not.

If I could lose my taste and smell, maybe my fingers wouldn't be so fat, Dan. I'm telling you though, there are a few things that I see on Twitter and I am on my couch and go, ha ha ha ha ha! And that was one of those last night. I texted Jeremy just a laughing face emoji and he knew exactly what I was talking about.

It was after the game. No, no Jeremy, this is not about the game at all. Now Jeremy, I know I've been on the prosecution side, but let me get on the defense here. Wow. Viral decontextualization is something that's afflicting this country. And if you're a victim, the law offices of Amino has

and will fight for you. So just let me know, man. We got a whole team. I got my associate, Charlotte Wilder in New York City. She's hit the books. We've got all types of legal precedents and things to help people save their reputations, get their reputations clean,

just call them in. I would love to, there's no decontextualization. I'm putting my fingers in my mouth. This is a Moses Brown situation. This is what it is. Like, no, well, viral decontextualization doesn't mean that it didn't happen. Viral decontextualization means that it happened once,

and now everyone's making you out to be this gross person who licks their fingers all the time. I was just eating Ws. I was just trying to motivate the heat. But you caught an L. You caught an L. Yeah, they caught an L, but I was trying, hey look man, they needed to go on a run,

and what happened after this happened? They went on a run, they took a lead. He did say it changed his routine. If you would have had the W up in this shot, that would have been great. Someone can Photoshop. I did change my routine here. I don't know if you guys want the answer on what I was eating

But I did change my routine on what I would traditionally eat during this snack period of the game. What is this? What did you eat? It's gotta be popcorn salt and vinegar chips Wow that is a very tasty Snack that's a scraper. Let me teach you a move here lay in the bag Flop it open make sure the sides sides are creased on the side. Get the bottom. You want the bottom to be a flat V. Right here, Jeremy. So you think if I'm doing what you just described in the background of a photo,

pouring chips into my mouth, you think that that's a better thing than this? The bag would have been covering your face. You would have had anonymity to do whatever you wanted. Can't be worse, bro. Put it on the pole, please, Juju. Worst way to get caught eating, shoveling a bag of chips into your face

from above, shaking a bag of chips, swallowing it like a pelican in your face, or licking individual fingers one at a time. Put however it is that you wanna write that. Emptying a bag of chips into your mouth or licking your fingers after. Jeremy, how did the shame of it go for you in general? What level of embarrassment did you have?

How many people were grilling you about this? How many heat employees said that you had disgraced the organization? Yeah, so I obviously, yeah, I'm eating some Cheetos now. I obviously was crushed by the way that that game ended, not just because of the result, but it changes my job. Now, I obviously was crushed by the way that that game ended, not just because of the result, but it changes my job. I get to do a winner circle interview after the game

if they win, and when they lose, that doesn't happen. So I'm, you know, slump shoulders, walking back to the locker room, waiting to go in and speak to the players, go in, the locker room's pretty somber, and I was like, I've got a couple minutes before the rest of the media gets here, let me go on my phone.

And so I checked Twitter, and all of a sudden, got more notifications than I anticipated. I'm like, what's going on here? And I just see my face with my finger in my mouth just over and over and over and over again. And I froze, and then about 60 seconds later, a heat PR guy walked up to me and was like, hey man, I haven't smiled for the last 20 minutes or so,

thank you for what's going around on the internet right now. That's how you turn it into a win, Jeremy. They go on a massive winning streak for the end of the season and you can point to this, this made everybody happy in a moment of sadness. Viral decontextualization does not have to afflict you, Dan. You can fight back, just call the law offices of amino let's do this commercial correctly as opposed to the way that he just don't have to do it correctly I already did it

correctly there it is right there yeah play it that's what every year thousands of lowlights are taken out of context and disseminated across social media it's called viral decontextualization and it afflicts thousands of former NBA players and weekend warriors alike. Hi, I'm Amin Elhassan and I was once a victim of viral decontextualization. Let me help you fight back.

If you or a loved one have suffered a viral video of a basketball play that is not representative of your playing ability, contact the law offices of Amin Elhassen right now. If you've suffered from a viral video of a basketball play that is not representative of your playing ability, call the law offices of Amin Elhassen right now. He is 100% a real lawyer. Don't let viral decontextualization ruin your life. Call Amin and get your reputation clean. Watch this. Pass me the rock.

Hey, ain't you that guy from the internet? Yeah, but I'm not who my video said I am. No, no, no, no, no, no. Gang-times, gang-times, gang-times no, no, no. Gang signs, gang signs, gang signs, gang signs. Please don't wait. Stop viral decontextualization. Call 1-800-ONBALL or visit www.downhorrendous.com and have a mean fight for you. I mean, what are you making me read? It's real easy, Jeremy. DownHorrendous.com. The Dan Libertard Show with Stu Gotts is sponsored by BetterHelp. It's time for a self check-in. How's your social battery doing right now? Is it drained or is it bursting with energy?

Similar to how a battery stores energy before eventually running out, individuals with a social battery may feel a need to recharge or withdrawal from social situations after a certain amount of time. It can be easy to ignore our social battery and spread ourselves thin, especially with work or social gatherings. What's the right amount of socializing for you? How do you recharge? Maybe you thrive around people or maybe you need some time alone. Therapy can give you the self-awareness to build a social life that doesn't drain your battery.

If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp H E L P dot com slash D L B. Don LeBattard. Teammates can't shoot from three. Now they're gonna see a different Jimmy. Now he's just, just playing. Nickelback in the locker room and Stugats This is the done LeBathar show with the Stugats

Can we just talk about the game we cannot We need steak we might do that. We talked about the game we might do that later because I do want to file away the idea of who do you trust more to recreate one of these turn it on playoff runs, the Lakers, Golden State, or Miami. Because I think Miami fans are expecting Miami to do it again. And I think Miami is the one to do it most recently. The idea that you could just turn it on in the playoffs but I would have less faith in them to do it than the Warriors or the Lakers because I think yesterday or last year had some fluke in it but on oddball that Amin does with Charlotte Wilder you

guys were making fun of Thibodeau the other day by song is that what you did? Yeah so Tom Thibodeau if you guys didn't it in the press conference after the loss of the Heat, kind of in an answer about a question about Jalen Brunson's night, looked at the boxcourt, saw that he had 10 free throw attempts, which looks good except for the fact that he got fouled and then he goes into this glitch. So I believe Charlotte went into the lab

and cooked something up with DJ Steve. Do you wanna throw it to the video again, less awkwardly than you did before when I was trying to throw it to the video? Wasn't awkward on my behalf. DJ Wilder Things, Tibbs on the track. He's getting involved, he's getting involved, he's getting involved, he's getting involved.

When Jalen drops to the rim, defenders forming on him. Getting involved, getting involved. When Brunson goes attack mode, they got him in a choke hold. Getting involved, getting involved, get involved When brux and girls attack, well they got a miniature cold Get involved, get involved Get involved, get involved Get involved, get involved Don't mess with Tibbs

Oddball Remix That is Wilder Thing, produced by DJ Steve Porter Bars I believe that our show does a better job of covering the three and the seven seed in the Eastern Conference than any other show in America. If they end up as the three and the six, we got that beat covered on the first round matchup.

Oh my God. I will talk for a second about last night's game because one of the very frustrating things about it, and I will say this, I think Mike Ryan has been loud wrong on Terry Rozier that he has been here a very good isolation player necessary when Tyler Hero is gone efficient in a way that I wasn't expecting but that game last night at the end I do not want him doing all of that. I want Jimmy Butler doing all of that, and I will live with the consequences

of Jimmy Butler doing all of that. And I know Jimmy Butler missed a shot late as well, but Terry Rozier running around out there all over the place did not make me comfortable against Embiid and Maxey, who torched them. And those two guys are coming off of injury. And the other thing, I mean, because I was watching, I wasn't watching the end of this game I was listening to it on

old-timey AM radio barely coming in at night like I was Jackson I was listening to it yes Jason Jackson and all they were saying over and over again is how tired the Sixers were because why would Embiid have his legs and yet still Terry Rozier did things at the end that when that cost them in the playoffs you're never gonna stop hearing the end of it from Mike Ryan who just really dislikes the inefficiencies of Terry Rozier. Well first of all I thought Terry Rozier played very well last night up until the end. At the end what happened is what's happened a lot over the last couple of months for

the Miami Heat which is they're in a game, it's a close game, and then at some point the other team says, oh that's right, we have stars. And then he's like, oh shit, we don't have any of those though. And so what you see is Tyrese Maxey be amazing in a way that a star player can be amazing. In the same way that a few weeks ago

when Denver came to town and it was a close game, and then the Nuggets said, wait a the nvp and we got uh... another guy who's probably the best second banana in the league and then those guys that star like things and the heat kind of fumbled and turned it over and missed shots and couldn't get any penetration and it goes back to this thing about offensively

this team is compromised they play smart they play hard but at some point in the NBA, you need a talent that can overtake and overcome and say to hell with the play call. I thought that was playoff Jimmy. That's supposed to be playoff Jimmy, but you know what? Also, there's another question here.

We keep saying, oh, is Jimmy gonna turn it on or whatever. What if he can't turn it on anymore? I'm not saying that's what's happening. I'm asking the question, what if this is it? He's not 30, he's not 31, he's an older player. I mean, that would be an issue for the Heat if he can't turn it on, right? That changes the entire landscape

of how their roster's built. But that's why Terry Rozier was in the position he was in. The Heat only scored one field goal in the final eight minutes. It was a Terry Rozier three to cut it to two with about a minute left. And they're offense sputtered, and it was in part because of Jimmy's lack of aggressiveness

at the end of that game. That game was bipolar then. Don LeBretard. David Sampson, weirdo. Because he was not, he was not the fun substitute teacher who'd wheel out a TV and play a VHS tape or Armageddon in science class.

He was the weird one who would eat an egg salad sandwich while clipping his toenails into the trash can and ranting about Ronald Reagan. Stugats! The guy kept talking about how his ass was smooth, smoother than a newborn's cheek. He wouldn't stop bragging about his bare buttocks to me. This is the Don LeVatar show with the Stugats David Sampson is joining us now, but before we get to him, I just want to put a couple of things on the poll please. Do you lick your fingers while eating salt

and vinegar chips? Do you trust anybody who eats ribs with a fork and knife? Thank you. And this is not a poll question but Amin said I think he called Jamal Murray the best second banana in the league. Are you sure about that? Because while I think Jamal Murray is excellent, I think he has made more excellent by playing with the MVP, and I'm not sure a lot of people would call him

the best second banana in the league. Second banana as in fulfills that second banana role. I was gonna say, we can probably change the lingo on that maybe. First banana? Well, I'm not even sure what it means. Is the second banana much smaller always than the first banana in a group of bananas?

Is that what the expression means? Anyways, answer that question for us, David. Not the banana question, but the other ones. The licking of fingers while eating salt and vinegar chips and eating ribs with a fork and knife. So I and eating ribs with a fork and knife? So I do eat things with a fork and knife and I do not lick my fingers, ever. It is disgusting.

What would you call the thing that you would, the strangest thing, the thing that we would judge you the most for eating with a fork and knife? A hamburger, a hot dog? Stickers bar? Slice of pizza. Oh my God. That's offensive. a hamburger, a hot dog. Stickers bar. Slice of pizza. Oh my God. That's offensive.

But if it's really hot though, you can have that first slice with a fork and knife until it cools down. As a New Yorker, I'm offended. What makes that? I'm a New Yorker too. I used to do the fold, but then all of a sudden one time the fold led

to the leaking of the grease on the back, down the hand, down the wrist, and that was the final time I did it that way. You've gotta, it's all about the wrist action. You've gotta go angling forward with the plate out in front of you, like so. That way, the dripping will come onto the plate, not on your clothes or yourself.

That looks like your shot wrist action. Okay, relax. The New York Times has an article from 1958 that dates Top banana back to 1927. The article describes a routine in which three comedians are trying to share two bananas with one person as the top banana and as one as the second banana. I'm confused Tony when you say pizza being too hot. If it's too hot for you to hold and you have to use a fork and a knife,

isn't it going to be too hot to put in your mouth with the fork? Absolutely, but I need to get it in. Okay. Have you ever been sitting at a restaurant where you order the pizza? It's not like when you have pizza takeout, because it's usually not as hot when you get it home, right? When you're sitting at your local Italian eatery and they put down the pizza in front of you straight out of the hot ass oven and it's a thousand degrees and you know the moment

you bite it, it's gonna burn the entire roof of your mouth off. I get that first slice, I cut it into little squares, I start eating it as almost an appetizer, like Cazola's, Dan, I know you know Cazola's, stop that. Don't play me, okay? They would cut up the cheese pizza, and then you'd go and get a little free sample.

That first pizza for me is a little free sample, and then I start eating the pizza right here. This is offensive. But if anyone else said this, Tony would be killing them. That's what I'm saying. I would agree with them because I do it. No, no, no, Tony, if I said I eat ribs with a fork

and a knife. Oh, you're a dork. Right. Thank you. But I do it for cleanliness, though. Okay, but I do think that you can't be so eager about eating that you're gonna put something that hot in your mouth,

too hot to hold. Dan. You've never done it. How is your guys' hot tolerance? Because I bet I have the highest hot tolerance in terms of temperature, not spicy. I have seen you, I have seen you throw a hot pocket in your mouth out of the microwave dangerously

and burn your tongue and sort of muffle screaming because your tolerance isn't quite what you're saying it is right now. Well, I think you're speaking back to when I tell you the perfect way to eat a pizza roll where I bite the corners, pinch it, pop a little pocket of steam. Like, I think you're misremembering that.

No, I saw you. I think I crushed that. We had the conversation because you did it so poorly, and then you put on a seminar for some reason. Just because I do the, what's in my mouth, and I go, whew. Chris. Let's still let the steam out.

Do you bite opposite corners and then blow to have like a sort of circulation of it? No, no, no. Mine's the same two corners, little pocket, turns into the little bag of chips. Catacorner, gotta go catacorner. I mean, please tell Sampson to his face everything you had to say yesterday

about him hosting Rich Eisen. Incidentally, you caused a great deal. Behind the scenes people were saying to me, hey, wasn't Sampson the one who came on here and said to you, Dan, if someone ever wears a Pat McAfee shirt or a Rich Eisen shirt that you would fire them, that Dan should fire them, and then here you are yesterday actively competing

against our show by filling in for Rich Eisen. Tell David to his face what you said on the air yesterday. I only have one word to say, traitor. Hmm. Oh, God. I mean, traitor. Mm-hmm. No, it's called building a career.

It's called taking advantage of opportunities to improve myself and to learn situations. Maybe I'm going there to learn to bring back to your show, Dan, things that we can do better. Don't need anything from there. You know where I heard that, Dan? People went to go learn, January 6th. Whoa! Whoa, stop.

Whoa, he's claiming you're an insurrectionist. I don't know, I don't know. Let's not even. Threat to the democracy of the Levitard show. I learned a ton. I am more than happy to engage in a conversation with you about what I did yesterday. I am not happy to discuss this

under the blanket of January 6th. You threatened freedom yesterday. The females of Yankee. I like your idea Jessica. Can you create a female skip Bayless for us? You don't feel any remorse about I felt a great deal of hostility some jealousy Because you got to sit in on a show that is one of the biggest that there are in sports. It was an interesting day.

I was invited to do it again today, but I didn't do it, for example. If he taped it while I'm responsible to do things with you or for nothing personal, I clearly wouldn't have done it. The timing just seems to work. If I'm willing to wake up at 3 a.m. in LA, which I was, to do nothing personal at the regular time and to do everything I'm supposed to do for you.

But I remind you, Dan, that when I asked to be an employee of MetalArk, you declined. As an employee of MetalArk, I would not be able to. As an independent contractor, I can do anything I want. You always say I declined. I had nothing to do with your negotiations. Like, you keep putting this on me. I like when you hide behind

Ignorance and lack of involvement. I enjoy that but I mean I had nothing to do with your negotiation Company Dan it's called plausible. Denial. I was not nobody asked me should we make him an employee? You're not an employee. No one asked David's right about this It is my responsibility, but he's saying I knew and I didn't know and he knows I'm being honest. Like I'm not lying about that. It becomes my responsibility, but I had nothing to do with how his contract was formulated. Dan, do you not recall the insurance conversation

that you and I had? Because by not being an employee, I don't get insurance by MediLark. No, I don't. And we talked about that and therefore my expense to the company goes down because I'm not an actual employee. Are you saying that we did not have that conversation? I am saying that.

I'm saying that you're making that up. Same. Or I don't remember it. I don't remember it. You guys see the seeds of insurrection already now? Jessica and Jeremy are backing up Samson. This is what happens, Dan, when you let them just run around here creating

capital crimes. Who's them? The insurrectionists. What's today? The April Sixers. You'll be hearing from my attorney. I am your attorney. He is one of them.

He's one of our attorneys. Let's get to some of the things that are going on here inside and outside of sports because you mentioned getting up at three a m on the west coast and i don't totally understand what's happening with the business of the nfl network i don't understand having to let go of melissa stark and andrew siciliano uh... good morning football is a wildly successful popular show and evidently it's very difficult to get people in New York up at 2 o'clock or 3 o'clock in the morning to do that show? Is that what the problem is? Like why is this happening at the NFL Network? Do you have any idea? Does it

have anything to do with the equity stake in ESPN or any of the other stuff? Because I'm not understanding why the NFL Network would have to cut costs. You just conflated a few things. Good Morning Football is moving from New York to LA and now the people have to wake up earlier because it's gonna be on at the same time East Coast time. They weren't waking up at 3 a.m. New York time. No, the call time is really early for the New York.

So the question that you're asking is why people were let go yesterday and media companies are doing that all over. NFL Network has to stand on its own as does MetalArk and ESPN and all the other different companies and that's why you see layoffs when there are costs that are maybe too high and so you cut them and the easiest way to cut costs is with people and that is the sad truth That doesn't mean it's right. It just means it's it's life The reason they moved good morning football from New York to LA is they're trying to condense

Where the NFL media comes from and you may recall that NFL media they're trying to sell everything They've been trying for years to sell off NFL Network and get a buyer, and they just haven't been able to, because these league-started networks are just not worth what the leagues thought they would be worth when they first were started and what owners were promised the value would be. Well, to go back to David's earlier point, he's right. That's why we have more employees here that don't have healthcare that do. We stand with David. Okay, great, that's an important point to make

when you're in the middle of an insurrection. I don't know. Kind of need the healthcare then. Yeah, I think it's important to have healthcare, I agree with that. I lick my fingers, so I probably need some healthcare. That's why we can't insure you. Let's put on the screen here what is happening at the Mets

because I'm stunned, David, Let's put on the screen here what is happening at the Mets because I'm stunned David, as someone who has watched the Mets all my life, to see this, the first week of the season, to see the ballpark this empty and to see what has been, what David? I'm not gonna defend Steve Cohn, but I just at least point out to people that's game one of the double header of a rescheduled game.

And so the people who have tickets to game two don't have tickets to that game. And so that's why it looks that way. You're saying that it looks sad, but they also had the third lowest opening day ticket price ahead of only the Marlins and the A's. And I can't believe I'm saying that about the met still white socks the white socks that are the only team in baseball that hasn't won twenty five

games since the last all-star game uh... had a higher ticket opening day price then the met's let's play the sound is this ron darling let's play that nobody in the ballpark oh and five hit list or seven feels like rock bottom Nobody in the ballpark, 0-5, Hit List through 7. Feels like rock bottom. That's Gary Cohen. You're laughing at it.

He's had a tough week. Gary Cohen is the one who on the internet, if you have the video for this, that would be an amazing video team. Where Gary Cohen is talking about the rain delay from the night before, acting all good and happy, and then the camera goes off, and he has this face, like, I can't believe I'm here, my job stinks, this team stinks, and he got caught in a hot camera situation, and it's been a thing. But you're talking about a Mets team

with an over $300 million payroll. The problem is they're paying a bunch of players not to play for them, like a Verlander and who's not playing and a Scherzer who's not playing. So maybe it's not a terrible move by Steve Cohn, but you're also talking about a team that has really no chance to compete in the National League East,

but really when attendance is low, it means they have no season ticket holders. Because you can make up the attendance, it doesn't matter who's there, if you have a high season ticket base. I just can't believe that this is the state that the Mets are in. This is, for better or worse, one of the biggest franchises in the history of that sport. And I understand that they haven't done a lot of winning, and that they're a second-class team compared to the Yankees, but they are not the A's the Marlins in the White Sox David No, they're clearly not especially with that payroll and they've done a bunch of winning two years ago

They won over a hundred games. So I think that that's not the issue The issue is was time of game and a low season ticket base Nothing personal is the name of his podcast and for some reason you could catch all of his insurrection work with Rich Eisen today at noon Eastern. David thank you sir. I will see will I see you in Atlanta on Monday for our live tour? You will not. Okay. What is what is going on in Atlanta? Tell the people in the in Atlanta. Do you have a lot of listenership in Atlanta? Is that why you put your live tour in Atlanta?

Yeah, so Atlanta's a good market and there'll be some guests, including a former Marlin, Jeremy, if you wanna come. Dan Uggla is gonna come by. Dan Uggla? Yes. Oh my God, I'll be there. And what about Juju?

Juju's gonna be there as well. Even better. Jeremy, you will not be there. So that's why I thought Dan, you'd be there. You're right, I won't be there. Well, he lives there. Jeremy, why would you say you're gonna be there? I was just trying to get everybody excited for David.

Get out! What? Get out! You know, people don't talk about that. Get out! It's tips or your dinner. You need to have every problem. Get out!

Get out!