The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The "Most Penalties In One Hour" Record-Breaker

Episode Date: March 17, 2026

"MY CALVES HURT!" Dan is jubilant because he found a way to begin the show by pitting Tony and Jeremy against each other over something David's been advised not to discuss: Cuba. The hour only gets more heated from there. Buckle up, folks. Today's cast: Dan, David, Zaslow, Chris, Jeremy, Roy, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Chris Cody, what's happening behind you? Chaos. Well, why is Tony yelling? Why is Jeremy yelling? Is anyone else involved in this discussion? No. Well, Roy's, I'd say, dipped a toe into the waters, I'd say. What was the toe that Roy dipped into these hot Cuban waters?

It's all my fault, basically. It was his fault. It was his fault. He got me fired up. Tony walked in and I just, you know, we have some friendly banter around here when it comes to politics. And I just hit him with the jab of your boys taking over Cuba. And then they just went. And the next thing I know,

They're yelling at each other, and I'm like, I caused a ruckus back here, and Dan's like, I'm going to air with it. So here we are. Well, because they were, yeah, I like when Jeremy and Tony yell at each other, I have said before we don't have enough sparks around here. Oh, yeah. We don't have, wait a minute. What do you mean? My inner monologue doesn't get here until 10 a.m. today. What was that?

What was that? No, that was Jeremy as Mike, as my inner monologue. Don't talk to the inner monologue. Well, no, I've got an objection to this. the inner monologue. Let me explain something to you. The inner monologue likes to go in and out of thinking like me and then saying things Mike wants to secretly say.

That is not inner monologue. It's bullshit. He needs to stay in character. Like him just saying things he's always... Stop explaining the show. Tony, what is the nature of your argument because David Samson just had me on nothing personal to mine all my Cuban feelings?

Ooh, what happened? I wasn't listening because I was in the meeting. What do you think happened? He's like, Dan, how do you feel about Trump? He's going to build hotels on your parents' land. Yeah. Well, it hasn't been our land for a very, very long time, almost a generation, essentially. And to be honest, the people there have nothing. And when I say nothing, I mean less than nothing, right? The electricity grid has completely failed. They have no electricity. They have no food. They have no water. They have nothing. So if you're telling me they're going to build something, something is better than absolutely nothing. And the problem is you can't give them nothing because they don't have the essentials for life.

Food, electricity, health care. I haven't talked to. to very many Cubans about how they feel about this latest development where you have the, just really awkward foreign, it's just really awkward foreign policy where just an orange corrupt felon is sort of deciding, yeah, I think I'd like that over there. That seems like a lovely island. I'd like Gaza to build some hotels there, if I could. But I would assume that every Cuban generation wants the people of Cuba to suffer less than they're presently suffering. Yeah, I feel like that's an easy stance. Like, they are suffering probably the worst in the world right now.

Like, they have nothing. Not the worst. Haiti's got it worse. There are places that have it worse. It's pretty bad, but it's pretty bad. It is what Tony's saying is so. It's stuck in the 1950s and the island's been rotting for 70 years. They're in a place.

They're going to be displaced. They're a country. Where are they going to be displaced to, right? because we say displaced. But anything right now is almost better than Cuba, which is my point. They have a place where they live. This is no different than what we talk about in Gaza, which is if you're ultimately displaced from the land in which you live, now you're a nomad and you're trying to figure out where to go.

The poverty is obviously terrible for many, many, many people around the country right now. It only will increase when you have people taking your land and, you're going. And again, displacing you from your home. But you live in a home. Jeremy, the situation is a home. But the government owns the land. This is a country with one of the highest literacy rates in the world. They've increased their life expectancy from 60 to 80 since this regime started, which is greater than the United States.

Like, these are things that are real. They do education and health care well. To do what? To do what, hold on. What do they do? They send it to where? Because it's not helping the people there, right? The people there have to take their own supplies of medicine to the high.

hospitals because they don't have. So when you're when you can read great, that's amazing. How is that going to put food on my table? How is that going to have me own the house that I'm in? How is it going to help me with the doctors that are so incredible? We don't have the medicine. We don't have the supplies. We send supplies over there for families over there to be able to go take syringes to the hospital. Well, I know how we're going to feel about the COVID vaccine, but they did produce their own COVID vaccine when other Western countries wouldn't share it with them. Jeremy, you're in violation. I'm just saying the only thing I learned when I moved to Miami is you don't enter these conversations. This is my fault. I know.

You just don't do it. I'm scared of it. I'm quiet. And my family is Cuban. Which I'm rarely quiet. Oh, you're Cuban? I'm half Cuban, yeah. Oh, I take it back. Cuban.

You can speak halfway. He has spoken halfway. And that's why. He was speaking a lot angrier and louder during the break than when the microphones got turned on. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stucats podcast. They have a trade blockade that's been in place since 1959. So how is the country able to do anything to be able to gain finance? Republicans presidents, everybody down the line could have done something.

Oh, I agree. They sat on their hands and did nothing. They agreed. They just done a terrible job on this. That's why I don't want the United States intervening now with this guy. Who would you want Russia? I don't want anybody doing it with Donald Trump. That's going to displace them in this respect.

Okay, so you want Putin there. What are we doing? That's a disingenuous argument. They've been there for 60 years the Russians have. What are we talking about? You've ever heard of the Cuba missile crisis? Dave, help you out here. Not a word for me.

Well put. You know what? You're welcome. That's better. Honestly, Dan, it's better. I'm not allowed to talk about Cuba. Hunter, penalty, only two minutes. Stoy a show.

You can't come out of the box like that. You're a professional talker. Your first words can't be out. That's what I'm taught to say about Cuba. Get out. For two minutes. Thanks, Cody. You're supposed to be a professional broadcaster.

Nothing personal. He speaks very well for two hours right before we start. Then our show starts. And what we get from him is a cookie monster. sound. In David's defense, that's definitely the advice he's been given over the years, is just go, I also absolutely allie upped it to him knowing he couldn't say anything. I want to play back for him. I want to play back for him, Chris, get the sound of how he started today's show so that

he can be embarrassed by how he started today's show. Tony and Jeremy were arguing about the idea that Cuba is going to fall soon. I imagine people in Miami will be celebrating this the way that. Venezuelaans we're celebrating in the street. Anything that gets that regime out is going to be something that's going to be celebrated by Miami. I, like Jeremy, though, wish it weren't this orange, corrupt felonious tool doing it because he's just going to put hotels up there. And it's not because he actually cares about the people or democracy. You know, he doesn't even wait.

When you're a star, they just let you do it. So let me get to some of our looks like tournament before we get to. I have a couple more things. if you want me to interject or not. Yeah, go ahead. Okay, perfect. Chris said no. I'm going to listen to Chris.

No, I just gave... Good executive producing. Chris said no. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't ask for the ball. I throw you the ball.

And then you just shit on the ball. Both of you get out of here. Oh, wow. Roy, you get in the seat and helps me with the looks like tournament because I have now kicked out the people who are going to help me execute this because what they just did right now is assonine,

where Tony asked for the ball, ask me to throw him the ball, I throw him the ball, and then Chris Cody, my teammate comes in and knocks the ball out of everybody's hands and says, don't do that. I would never do that to you, Dan, because we are a collective.

So anyway, I want to do some looks-like tournament here to get people updated on where we are with this thing. Thursday, Duke is the number one overall seed. That means our number one overall seed is... Fernando Mendoendoza looks like the cashier in a 1960s McDonald's poster. It's so good. It's just, it's so good. So Siena's going to be gone soon.

That means the 16 seed is this. Tony Cornheiser looks like the judge in a 90s legal thriller that keeps admonishing the defense with careful counselor. You're on a very short leash. Georgia's an eight seed. Georgia is represented by. Ron McGill looks like you're recently. divorced mom's first date who, when you answer the door, is vigorously chewing his gum and combing his

hair with a palm comb as he leans ever so slightly back to gander at the size of the home, while never once acknowledging you with his eyes. He is a bit lecherous that way. Can't be trusted around your mom. Number nine, St. Louis is the foe. That means this is up against McGill. Brett Venables looks like the small town sheriff at a movie that ends up being corrupt after you spent the whole movie telling your wife he's corrupt. So we will get back to more looks like in a second, but I want to get into yesterday's show because Jeremy's got some critiques, some thoughts, and some observations on yesterday's show. But I've got a yes or no question for David Samson because I left here feeling like yesterday's show was unresolved,

as you guys made me feel crazy about something that I was arguing when I thought I was simply right and everyone disagreed with me. The yes or no question is the following. Was the pitch the United States third? through to the Dominican Republic to eliminate the Dominican Republic from the World Baseball Classic, was it, yes or no, a strike? Yes. Now, was it called a strike?

Not was it called a strike? Not was it called a strike. Not semantics. No. It may be a ball today. Minor penalty, two minutes. Delay a show. Wow.

It wasn't a strike, David. Nobody would say it was a strike. I give you the wrong answer that you don't like. And you give me the balance. Nobody. It's not a strike. I didn't ask you whether it was called a strike. I asked you whether it was a strike.

Yes, it's a strike. Was it? Both called a strike and a strike. Was it a strike? Was it in the strike zone? Yes or no. Yesterday it was a strike. Was it in the strike?

Get out of here. Get out of here. It was a ball. Yeah, it was a ball. Jeremy, give me your general critiques and thoughts on yesterday's show. Well, that was the first one. The fact that you were alone on acknowledging the fact that what Perdomo did on that obvious ball four.

Amazing plate discipline was so incredible to lay off that pitch. That slider in that situation. Obvious ball four is wild. Several inches off the plate. This is not yesterday's baseball. That's this much. No. Right.

That's a lot in baseball. I'm holding up about three or four inches with my fingers. That's a lot in the game of baseball. In the production meeting, Jeremy's talking about how great it was that he took that pitch. It's not so great. They're home right now. Not that great. That's why it's frustrating.

That's why that game ending that way is such a shame. Because look, would the United States have still won the game? Yeah, very possibly. Mason Miller has been unhittable, and the next battery he would have faced absolutely could have gotten out. But the fact that it ends by taking the opportunity away from them on a ball four. That it's not like he was caught off guard. He watched the ball all the way in. He recognized slider and he said, I'm going to spit on that pitch because that is not a strike.

It was a great at bat. It was an incredible at bat, Dan. He fouled off pitches before that. He laid off another pitch that was impossible to lay off before that. The part about this that's just wildly frustrating to me as this stuff can be rectified with instant replay, but we're not using it now. and the game is over now when a regular season baseball game would not have been decided this way. Miami wants this game permanently. Miami wants the World Baseball Classic because these games have been so great.

Aaron Judge is saying that the atmosphere is better than the World Series is because it has got so much soaking of Hispanic flair on everything that's happening. But the idea, and you guys have to follow me down, this path. You never want a game of any consequence being decided at the end by an old guy who's not playing. You never want the conversation around stakes to be. It's being decided by the judgment of somebody. At the end of NBA games, the refs stay out of the way. You rarely get, think about how many NBA games are played and how rare it is for you to get a controversy, not the last two minutes of a game, the last play of the game. Think of how rare it is for a pass interference

on the last play of an NFL game. You do not as an umpire make the wrong decision to eliminate somebody's season. It's a shame that it ends that way. I mean, look at the NFL. You bring that example up. They literally changed the rules forever on replay because of the one example of that in a consequential situation. But look, I mean, it happens. These things have happened throughout the history of baseball. There are plenty of strike three calls where the ball is off the plate. The biggest reason we're having this conversation and the frustration behind it is you're looking at a guy who has quite literally been unhittable over the course of however many innings at this point in Mason Miller and a league in which they're now going to be adding ABS. You're going to be able

to challenge pitches like that and Perdomo would have been correct to challenge it. So that's the part where in a week and a half from now, you're not going to see that same thing happen. Jeremy, I think another thing, too, was the momentum, right? Everybody was standing. Everybody was fired up. It could have been strike three. And Dan, you've talked about it,

to Levan Hernandez game where he had 17 strikeouts or whatever it was. He was all over the plate, and they were calling him strikes because of the momentum of what was going on in the game. So it feels like that that hump was sitting there saying, like, if this thing's close, I'm punching him out, and place is going to go crazy. He was calling that all game.

He was calling that's consistent, which is why it does matter. It does matter that he was consistent. That's why he's got a swing. But I think we're just. We're not going to hit. Can we stop for a second? We're not even disagreeing. I don't think anybody, like, I'm on the side of he should have swung.

I'm not disagreeing. It stinks that the umpire made that call. It stinks that we got to see that it was a ball. It was a great bat. He will not and cannot hit that pitch. That is an unhittable pitch. But we're not disagreeing on that. But also, you guys won't give us an inch of if it's in baseball.

You know why he should have to swing the bat? But you know why he shouldn't swing the back? Because he wouldn't have hit it. It's a ball and he wouldn't hit it. It's an unhittable pitch. That pitch at that spot, he's not going to hit it. Hold on a second. Why do you say that?

Why is it an unhittable pit? Watch the game. Throwing it. It's three and two and you're sitting on a hundred and four mile an hour fastball. He threw you a breaking ball. So it's not possible for to put a bat on a ball there. Because it's a ball, yes. Maybe Vladdi Guerrero's dad could have done it because he wants to all the time.

Give me the stat of the day. Give me the sad of the day. Wow. Calling your shot. Start of the day. This year, start of the day. Start of the day. Start of the day,

this year, start of the day, start of the day, start of the day, in this year, start of the day, start of the day, start of the day,

in this year, start of the day. Mason Miller has thrown 272 consecutive pitches without allowing a hit. So he was due. And that was the most unhiddable of all of them.

That was so nasty. I think Chris, though, is on to something where where the other side, which of course is you, Dan, won't give us literally an inch where... Well, it's because you're wrong. Okay, but what's one of the things... What's one of the things that our little league coach always tells us growing up?

Every little league coach tells you... Keep your eye on the ball. If it's close, protect the plate. If it's close on two strikes, you have to swing. Every little league coach has told us that. So I'm with Chris. Like, you won't even give us that inch. Let me tell you one funny thing, Dan, that you're missing.

That's a $5 fine for coughing and clearing your throat into the microphone. It's just, it is. It's a fine. And you have to pay, are you carrying? That's a big fine. Because you've been doing it all morning. And do you have cash on you? Do you have $5?

Because I'm tired of being the only one who puts any money. There are hundreds of dollars now in the fine bucket. They're all my dollars. And I'm about to take them all back because I'm the only one doing this. David's definitely fine here. The fine bucket is presented by Money Lion. Download the Money Lion app or visit Moneyline.com to learn more Money Lion, make money easy. Hello friends, hello listeners. I want to talk to you about Chime, because Chime is changing the way people bank, and honestly it just makes sense.

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Head to chime.com slash Dan. That is chime.com slash dan. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Bank, bank, and my pay line of credit provided by the Bankor Bank NA or Stride Bank N.A. My pay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Option. See chime.com slash fees info. Advertised annual percentage yield with Chime Plus status only.

Otherwise, 1.00% APY applies. No mean balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Hey, Roy, buddy. You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody altogether, in unison,

knows to stand up on their feet? Oh, absolutely, Mike. Yeah, you've been at many big-time sporting events. You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Quervo. Oh, delicious. It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal.

It's when small talk turns into stories. Quervo, man, it's at high five, a random stranger effect. That's right. The game is popping. You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Quervo brings. It's so smooth, so delicious. That's the Quervo effect.

Keep it, Quervo. Don Lebertard. We love you, we've got you. We've all got each other. Let's go right now. Stugats. One, two, three, Brett. One, two, three.

Brett. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. You'll change for 100. Get your money out, David. Yes, we do. Okay. You don't, don't patronize me. Okay, we have changed for 100.

Go ahead. Give us the money. It's outside. Go get it. You want me to go get it right now. Everyone knows you pay your fines immediately. Minor penalty, too minute. You.

Stoy a show. Yo, two, Hyundai. I've got a record pace today. I gambled it away. It's like an auto-accentment. Senator's Panthers game in here. Like a degenerate. Zaz did take my $100,

took it to Vegas. You know what he also told me? Because I told him, just play the 16 and the 19. So he goes there. He loses the $100 immediately. And he says, and then I look up at the board

and the previous two numbers were 16 and 19. Swear to God. See, I always wonder, is that a good thing or a bad thing? No, it's definitely a bad thing. Swear to God. Dan told me put it on 16 and 19,

which I did, all right. But I also did it knowing I looked up at the board. board, and I swear to God, the last two numbers were each 16. You got to just pocket that money. That's weird. Tell me about it. That's weird. I will get to last night's game in a second, because

were you guys rooting for Italy? Were you guys generally rooting? You were not rooting for Italy? No, because we want the crowd tonight. You want the incredible crowd. I was rooting for Italy so that I could say that the USA team is playing their minor league team. The crowd is such a huge part of this World Baseball Classic.

You cannot convince me, I don't care how good the games are. When I say we, I just mean, Everyone in general would not care even remotely as much about these games if it weren't for the crowd. The crowd is such a major factor. Miami is angling to be the permanent host for this game. I don't know that a whole lot of people would object to the Super Bowl being permanently down here because of how well Miami does the big events and then you get the good weather as well. Samson is going tonight.

He's been going to all the games. Do we have the sound of Aaron Judge? I know I paraphrased him. but Aaron Judge doesn't give off of a lot of emotion. He is not necessarily a statue emotionally, but he's not someone who gets swept away in the emotions of baseball. And I'm not even sure very often how useful emotion is in baseball because emotion's not useful in surgery.

I think you have to not have emotion. Yeah, you have to sort of steady yourself. You can't have a whole lot in the batters box inside your head other than the present moment. But here's Aaron Judge talking about the world baseball classic crowds. I was in the crowd here that probably had when we played against Mexico. It's bigger and better than the World Series. It's just like I said, the passions these fans have, representing their country, representing some of their favorite players.

There's nothing like it. And that's what you dream of as a kid. I was in my backyard playing with a ball. This is the moments that dream of, big spot, big situations. It gives me chills right now thinking about how special that was. I try to take a moment every game to kind of look around. Appreciate the crowd. Appreciate the ball and anything.

It's just the plus. Yeah, he dreamt about the World Baseball Classic. Well, I owe money from yesterday. Well, I don't think he's saying he dreamt about the World Baseball Classic. He's saying he dreamt of playing in front of crowds like this, which is why he said that this crowd, he's been in the World Series, and he said this crowd is better than the World Series crowd. Give me the $5.

You have $5 there. I want change. Wait a second. You can't do that. Changes in the fine bucket. I'm looking. at you, you have $5. Get, what do you owe from yesterday?

You can not dictate how I pay the fine. Okay. Mr. Control guy. All right, well, here, then go give it to Carl so he can give you change. Minor penalty, too many. We are setting records here. So undisciplined. Just go ahead and handle that outside.

Carl's got the fine bucket money. There's change in there. Ask someone to bring the fine bucket in. I don't want to keep leaving, unhooking. It's a get me change. I'm getting it for you. You have to go get it yourself, though, because I'm busy. doing something right now. I know,

but I need to get you out of the room. They just say, hey, go get change. You have to press the button. I've told you that several times now. It's like a crutch. Oh, I got a button to press. Let me keep pressing it. What are you going to do tomorrow? Which part? Pondon.

Two minutes. Delia show. Wow. Jeremy, what other complaints do you have about or criticisms do you have of yesterday's show? I also love my evenings. I'm telling you. I look forward to every day. I look forward to my year.

evenings. Every day. By about right at the end of the big suey, I start thinking about what time I'm going to get to go home and then enjoy my evening. What do I have to do when I get home? What am I going to get to do tonight? I'm glad we're on the same page. Yeah, I love my evenings. I love evenings. Like, tonight I've got

to go out and do something. It's going to really suck. So I'm not going to enjoy my evening tonight. Yeah, tonight's going to be a shit evening. I would love to go through arbitration here. You mean I get to present you with the value that I bring and compare it to people around the country in terms of how much they make to do the thing. I would love. This segment doesn't go through arbitration. That would go so poor for Jeremy. Are you kidding? Oh my God.

With the value that I bring to this show? Oh my God. What I wouldn't give. What I wouldn't give. But I think I think you may have some hurt feelings. Oh, I understand. My feelings get hurt here every day. I don't worry about hurt feelings. I know the value I bring. And oh my God, arbitration compared to national salaries would be a dream. The magic on the heat help. Just so you know. I mean, big shot, a company. Maybe part of the problem with Metal Arc is you can't add. Do you have change of 100 here? Also, speaking to the mic. Do you have change of 100 here?

Just out of curiosity, because your math is about as bad as your finger. Penalty finger. It's $145 there. I think there's money missing there, though, obviously. It can't be his fault. He can't have misremembered. He can't have gotten the math wrong. Someone stole it.

Minor penalty, two minutes. The way of show. You're going to get a misconduct, man. Should I call this math. Can I get a gay misconduct? I'm going to have to go to my car because he's got a stuck in the mud. I'm going to go to my car to get him change in the middle of our show so that I can get the five bleeping dollars and have somebody around here pay a fine. You would hate arbitration, Jeremy, because the things that would be said in arbitration that are meant to keep your value. you down would be things you would find personally hurtful and then never forgive.

How is that different than the show every day? We're kinder to you. No, you're not. You might be. All right. You know what? I don't think Mike is. Okay.

We're going to do arbitration. We're going to do arbitration? We're going to do it. We're going to have an arbitration hearing. You're going to let me prep a little bit? Yeah, yeah. You can tell me, I think I know what your value is. I don't think I undervalue you.

I don't think you'd argue that I, under. Not you personally. So, but I don't think you'll like what I have to say. The satisfaction on yesterday's show of hearing that bongo sound and then thinking, oh man, I hope Chris uses that for weekend observations. And then he did.

Oh, what a feeling. Jorge Posada, being an assistant coach for Italy, despite being born in Puerto Rico and having parents who were Dominican and Cuban, is pretty great. I was surprised to hear that you guys don't

weren't rooting for Italy, though. You're just rooting for an exciting crowd. That Italian team was an underdog. I didn't even understand some of the stories being told about how they formed the Italian team. It's not merely that it's... They just took all the guys that couldn't make Team USA and made a team. No, but Jeremy, weren't they telling the story that basically they're trying to fill out the program by driving around Italy in a van, just looking to see it if a local cafe, someone's eating

fetichini, hey, you want to play second base shots? They went by Sabaro's. Come play for Italy. It's what Cervelli's doing now, apparently. They said that he moved to Italy and he bought a van, and he's just been driving through the country trying to recruit for the program, which I feel like there are details of that story that are missing, because where is he going? Who is he asking?

What is he doing? Are there little leagues in Italy that are happening here? You don't get it. You don't get it. But I love it because I think it's like the fact that this guy has taken this upon his shoulders, and he's a mentor to so many other players that are still in the game, I find it really impressive. and it's cool that they're building this program around a bunch of guys from Jersey.

I'm going to make you guys laugh right now. Right now on Get Up, Factor Fiction. Tua should be the Falcons week one starter. March. It's encroaching in my top five, Dan, something or nothing. You've got a top five, something or nothing? NFL free agency, something or nothing? Oh, really?

You have that? Okay, we've got a tease it. Okay, but so you have five somethings or five nothings or a mishmash of somethings and nothing? That's for you to decide. That's for you to decide. I'm going to lift you the name. Then you're going to tell me something or nothing. Very good. I look forward to that. Jeremy, any other critiques from yesterday's show that we should get to?

And I want to get to David and the present world baseball classic because the final has been set up. That's the ballpark he built. Was David Sampson doing like Dave Portnoy does in pictures and standing on his tippy toes next to you, Tony? Is that what he was doing? Yeah, he says his calves. Hold on. Let me turn that on for you, David. There you go. My calves are blown.

I can't do it anymore. But I had no idea. First of all, on TV, on TV, you're way shorter. That's the first thing I get. Like, wow, you're really tall in person. I don't know what the hell's going on. You want to put you on my shoulders? I ain't feeling great.

So I'm just digging into it. And this is where a mic is. I'm not going on your shoulders, man. Forget it. No, I will not. David, why not? I am not going on his shoulders. His calves are blind.

Find me, do whatever you want. I'm not getting on Chris Cody's shoulders. I'm not going to do it. Dan, I would matter Don't you do it. Don't you do it, Dan, don't do it. Don't do it. This is my fault, too.

Wow. Everything's my fault. I don't know that one. You can't lead us down a path. Tremendous shit eater is what that is in Spanish. Tremendous shit eater. We could have had the payoff visual of you doing the show on Chris's shoulders. That's good for the show.

Like, there's, it's indisputable. right now, you're playing defense against us being able to do the show correctly. My calves hurt, Dan. Being on someone's shoulders takes all the pressure off your caps. Put it on the poll at Levittar show. Does being on someone's shoulders

hurt your calves? That's a poll I never thought we'd put up. That's going to be 80, 20 for sure. You've obviously never played chicken before. Wow. Don Lebertard. No one else here is willing to do it. Trump or a Biden.

That's not true. Dan. Okay, Tony, you can catch... Man of a thousand impersonations. That's not bad, man. Finally. Not terrible.

Pretty good. Stugats. Yours is terrible. You just got to get a little redder. A little pinker. You're right there, man. Yours is not. You're biting me.

What do you mean? Oh, this is good, Dan. That's actually not bad. This is good. That's not terrible. You got to come together. A little southern twang there. A little George Bush in that one.

This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. David, you're going to have to leave. I'm sorry that I keep doing this to you because I want your world baseball classic takes. You actually care about these games. You're going to these games. It's your ballpark. You built the ballpark.

You're excited and proud to see that kind of emotion in your ballpark. You were hoping that that's what that place would feel like. And then Heath Bell ruined it all. Heath Bell. What are you doing to Heath Bell? Why'd you have to say that name? I saw a Heathbell jersey in the ballpark last year. What?

I could not believe. I almost confronted the person. It should have interviewed. I was like, how could you do this? Why, this may be a stupid question, but whatever. Why do the people last night, the Venezuelan fans, and even the night before, the Dominican fans, why do they care so much more than I do? I'm an American. Why do they care a hundred times more?

than I do about the result of that game. You have all the sports. You have a plethora. You are so spoiled. Americans are so spoiled that our attention deficit disorder is fed from a thousand different places. Venezuela doesn't have a lot of sports things to be proud of. So you pour all of your love into the one thing. And then you attach regional identity to it.

This is why Castro used the Cuban baseball team the way that he did. It's a propaganda tool where he was so proud. The island of Cuba has nothing it is prouder of than the Cuban baseball team. Nothing. There's not a thing because that's how they get represented to the world. And it's sterling. Like it's just excellence. And the funny thing is they can't play in Miami during the pool play because they'll all defect and leave,

which is why they're never here unless they make it to the final round. But again, why would they leave Cuba? It's great. It was a huge thing when the World Baseball Classic started that in order for Cuba, they had to be guaranteed because nobody else to Japan, you get pool play over in Asia. That's part of the deal. But Cuba would not be in Miami. And we wanted them as the Marlins.

We wanted, but it was an absolute no because they thought they'd come with the team and leave with the trainer. You keep going to these games and tonight you're going with your son because it's what you imagined one day all of that would feel like, right? you somewhere within your robot wiring, some emotions are felt about everything that you built there, correct? I walk around the concourse, the promenade level. I'll go up to the upper deck, and I just, I'm beaming because people are having the best time, and I do do informal polling. Will you become a Marlon's season ticket holder?

Will you go to Marlins games? And I'm batting zero. Of course. Because they just, and it was, I saw Venezuelans who I spoke to, because I was at Japan, Venezuela, not all from Miami. There were Venezuelans who flew to Miami. Of course they said no, we're leaving after Venezuela leaves. But the Miami Venezuelans, they're not Marlins fans.

And that bothered me. I asked simply why. I wonder if all of them are even baseball fans? Or are they just there because it's Venezuela? So I didn't ask that. That would have been a good question. But what I was told by most of the people, I would say eight out of 10, Venezuelans who I spoke,

who said they weren't Marlins fans. It wasn't about ownership. It wasn't about trading players. It wasn't about any of that. It was just major league baseball was not something that interested them. Right. It was Venezuelan national baseball

that interested them. Yeah. I can't sell against that. You wanted to those seats in the upper dick kids talking to the upper deck. You're talking about your straw pole more like straw man. You had your own bathroom.

You're doing that upper duck. See, oh no. I had to speak in very short sense. It happens to be true. It is not exactly. Can we replay that? Let's replace something else. David's a proud professional, okay?

He prides himself on some perfectionism. No, listen, listen. Let's listen to how David started speaking today's show when it is that we presented to him the hot potato topic of Cuba. I'm, I, quite. We got to play that. sound from McGill and ask him if it's a toad being stepped on. That's a third sound.

That's a professional broadcaster. Metal arc media is building around. That was a slide piece I threw him, Dan. He couldn't swing at it. He's like, oh, I was like, bad at all. Did you throw at him? Just Putin? Was it just Putin?

Yeah, I think it was, what do you think the Russians are better? Dave, what do you think? I, I, quiet. That's how you started today's show. I mean I that's enough people get the points I have some stuff

for David that was actually pro David from yesterday's show so one when you were trying to think of the example of the time that the Heat won in NBA finals because the other team was missing players were you thinking of how we always talk about

how they lost to the Lakers because Bam and Dragich were hurt no damn I'd like to say yes I should have, but no, I wasn't. When you guys were talking about state-run media in Cuba, Dan dismissed you because you said McCarthyism was before the Cuban state-run media, which it was. Dan said you were wrong.

I'm sorry, say again. You can't, why is that not a penalty? He just accused you of you wrong. Dan dismissed David mentioning Cuba when talking about state-run media by saying it was before McCarthyism. It was not. McCarthyism came first. Just wanted to help David there. It was really dismissive. David, thanks for using the variety of pronouns that you use when talking about the fan who gave the Drusky poster. You said, he or she or they. Way to go. I'm an ally. Yeah. Thank you, Jeremy.

Good job. Well done. The thing about Dan that I've learned by being around here for a number of years is don't upset him with being truthful if that truthfulness involves a criticism. My father, also taught me that the higher score has to go before the lower score. That is top tier parenting number one, right at the top. Period. Has to be there. Tristan, I did say goodbye to each other. That and the golden rule.

David is accusing me of something. We are now 35 minutes into a segment that began with me asking for Jeremy's criticisms. That the whole segment has been 35 minutes of me requesting Jeremy. Jeremy's criticisms, that one just didn't seem to be terribly entertaining. Like that, I didn't even understand what he was saying to me the first time. You can use that in the arbitration case. Yeah. That one also.

Bad judgment is something that will come up in your arbitration case. So with Marty Supreme, Juju said he doesn't like it. And I think this is a case. We always talk about three Americas with like white, Hispanic and black boy. I think this is a case. And I'm afraid to separate us because, you know, the times in which we are in. This is a case of four Americas. every Jewish person watched Marty Supreme

and was like, yeah, I know that guy. Chris, do you think that you can turn David Sampson's gaff at the start of today's show into some EDM music? Do you think that you could find some public domain sound that would allow you to mix and match

professional broadcaster, David Sampson? Mr. Arbitration just jump for this one. I'll use that in my arbitration case. All right. Let's see how quickly you can do that. Go ahead and toss it over your shoulder. Jeremy, you can go outside now and see how quickly you can get that done for us. You don't want me to get mad about the heat first, though? Do you have more? You have more criticism? Well, yeah, I was laughing because thank God for Trista,

because Zaz started talking about how frustrated he would be if the heat had a win similar to how the Lakers did. And then he turned on a show and heard people dismissing it as that doesn't matter because they're not going to win a championship this season. That is our show. That is all we do, all heat season long is just dismiss every fun game because, oh, man, I don't think they're the big three-era heat. Also, dismissing the seven-game win streak because the heat loss to the magic who have owned them all year and saying like, oh, well, see, that's why they're not going to win against anybody, when that's the only team that they've lost to consistently all year and they won't face them in the playoffs. Let's do this, okay, because what are they now? Six, seven games over 500? Are they eight games over 500? This is the stretch of the season right now.

Playoffs start right now. Yep. Okay? This is the stretch of the difficult games. They have the seven-game winning streak. A couple of them against the Nets, Milwaukee, a whole bunch of... Same with Orlando's streak. Yeah, but a bunch of crud in there.

But Orlando's streak now includes Miami. Yeah, and they lost to the Hawks. It includes Miami. All these teams beat each other up, and Orlando's own the heat all year long. If not for Orlando, the heat would be in, like, third place. If the heater going to avoid the playing, like, right now is going to decide it. I think... This six game stretch is crazy, by the way.

I'm going to read it for you. L.A. Lakers, Houston, San Antonio baseball series with Cleveland. I just can't accept Charlotte. I know. You're not watching. You're not watching Ball.

You're not watching Ball. I'm just saying can't accept them as just being in that good team category. Can't do it. Heard's a dog tonight in Charlotte. As they were last time when they won, Tyler Hero went crazy. But now, Jeremy,

I think that's fair criticism from Jeremy to say that we were spoiled by the Big Three era. Dwayne Wade says that town is dead now. because he was spoiled by the big three era and everything pales compared to the big three era. Not an exact quote from Duane, but. Perphrase it. Dead now.

Gossi, gossie. I'll tell you. The town is dead. I'll tell you, three and three in this stretch here, be a miracle. Yeah, I agree. Really would. Three and three would be great. Be a miracle.

Like, if you would have told me going into the... Would it be greater a miracle? Going into the seven game stretch, I would have said going four and three would have been spectacular. Going three and four would have been like, okay. What's happened? You did what you had to do. Going two and five, you'd be worried because, because...

You're trying to position. What about one in six? Could you stop? All of this is such nonsense. Oh, three and three. We got to do this during this stretch. Do you do that through all stretches in a season? No, but there's only 14 games left, and they're trying to avoid the play-in.

So you're assigning a stretch that they have to have for you to be satisfied. Well, because these are all good teams. I understand, but it doesn't matter if they go two in five or five and two. They're going to be tested right now. It's not the playoffs. By the definition, David. It does matter if they go five and two or two and five. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter to whether or not they have a likelihood of getting a ring. That's fair. So we're going to do exactly. So he can't all be about a destination. He wasn't listening to you. Wow. Is this a seventh penalty? I was out of the room.

Minor penalty, two minutes four and not listening to the show. I'm not leaving. I'm done. Leo. I'm done. Okay, Leonardo DiCaprio. That's fine. He should go.

I'm sick and tired. And by the way, Jeremy, you're criticizing the show, not. but Dan takes it as though it's criticism of him. You're too scared because we're all too scared. God forbid that we're left here alone, you know, without Dan to criticize him because he's the omniscient guy who knows everything about nothing. Will you defend me in my arbitration case? Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit, triple zero. Always drink your. Yeagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth. Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're

finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. alcohol by volume imported by Mass Yeager Meister U.S. White Plains, New York.