The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The Official Rules of Using Towels

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

Today's cast: Dan, Amin, Chris, Izzy, Jessica, The Joker, and Tony. Is Kevin Durant happy when he tweets at people? Is he happy that we're even asking the question? Did he say "weeeeeee" on that slide? Then, the Warriors and Celtics played an incredible game last night, but we're more focused on Dan's attempt at killing a cockroach with a towel that his wife didn't want him to use. Do you have a towel depth chart? Can you use fancy towels in someone's home? Do cockroaches have multiple hearts? Or do cows? Do you have monogrammed towels? We're answering the important questions. Plus, Amin reflects on the glory days of wearing cufflinks everywhere. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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New York, Shadow Show Shadow Show Shadow Show Shadow Show Shadow Show Shadow Show Shadow in it. I mean, I walk in today and by way of good morning, I'm walking into the studio with the command and respect that comes with such great power of running a company. And the first thing I hear is someone dressed in a costume screaming, Dan's wrong about Kevin Durant. Dan, Dan is wrong about Kevin Durant. Dan is wrong about Kevin Durant, and evidently there hasn't been room in the show

the last couple of days to tell me that I'm wrong about Kevin Durant. Jeremy, why do you think I'm wrong about Kevin Durant? What have I said recently that's wrong about Kevin Durant? His sons last night beat the Miami Heat. The Miami Heat looked terrible at the end of the game. Oh, so Jeremy's in a costume today. We're not on video right now,

so that doesn't really work as a joke, I mean. We're not going to the visual joke of Jeremy as the joker, but Jeremy, you were saying that Kevin Durant, and I'm wrong, how? I believe that Kevin Durant is a happy person. I believe that Kevin Durant loves being a troll on social media, and I don't think that there's an unhappiness

that comes with responding to randos on the internet or picking a fight with Stephen A. Smith. I think he thrives in it. I think he loves it. And I'll tell you, if I had the carte blanche to be able to just fire off whatever I wanted at the people criticizing me for doing my job or who I disagreed with about the structure

of my business or my profession, I would be doing it 100 out of 100 times if I could without repercussions. Why don't you try that one day? Yeah. I won't. Beat Durant for a day. We'll give you carte blanche.

Well, you can't give it his other employers and the ramifications that he would have if he did that, you're not in charge of those. I'll talk to them. Okay, you'll talk to the Miami Heen and Ballys about something that he would have if he did that. You're not in charge of those. I'll talk to them. Okay, you'll talk to the Miami Heen and Ballys about something that he's done. Not Ballys. Not Ballys anymore.

We don't need to talk about it. Okay, we don't need to talk about Ballys anymore. Let's just not, please. But you're going to talk to his employers about, you guys, do you agree with that? Do Izzy and Amin agree with the idea that Kevin Durant strikes you as wandering the Earth happy? I don't believe that when somebody is doing that,

they're doing it as a response to, I'm so happy, let me take this guy out. It's a response, it's an angry response, right? And the freedom to do it does give you joy, but the fact that he focuses on that, to me, especially given how many things he can enjoy in life in his situation, tells me there's something there that doesn't make him happy. This is an amateur psychiatrist on my part

during the Shadow Show, so I wouldn't say this to Kevin Durant's face, it's just what I believe to be the case in most human beings. We're all over the place. He's angry. He's like. I just think that. He's happy.

What is Duran? I need to know. Why could he not just be a person who's our age, who's just spending time on the internet, like at one in the morning, like the rest of us, and just replying to people? Like I don't think that there has to be this inherent anger or unhappiness that comes with it.

I just think that he's a dude who grew up on the internet. That's all I would say though as I've seen you know the loneliness of men turned trolls on the internet as I've seen social media become a festering pit of angry lonely men getting quote unquote enjoyment out of trolling doesn't really strike me as joy. The constant fighting with others doesn't strike me like maybe you like competing at all times and I suspect that Kevin Durant probably does like competing at all times but I will

tell you just me personally who has never minded a fight in thirty years i'm tired of fighting the internet it's a losing proposition no matter how no matter how much power because i'm not afraid of saying anything like there are consequences to me on things that i said but i'm tired of fighting the internet i don't want to fight anymore like i've been from been fighting here for a while and that's not that's not my disposition I don't find joy in the fight, but maybe Kevin Durant does find joy in the fight certainly does it basketball

Do you remember when he was with the Warriors and the heart of it was hey we play with joy here, right? And then it just felt like that joy was just choked out of that team. And it felt like Steve Kerr was kind of pointing directly to KD saying, it doesn't feel like you are playing with that joy that we've won championships with, et cetera. That was noticeable there. You have everything you could want. You're focusing on the fans not wanting or not cheering for you as much as they cheer for Steph Kerr. You're focusing on the negatives.

And again, this is not a knock on Kevin Durant. This could just be his personality type, and it is what it is. Maybe he was born to sort of bring out the truths about the NBA and call out all trolls, but this is- A weird thing to be born for. Exactly, but it just doesn't strike me, as you say, Dan, as somebody that's looking at everything

with a joyful attitude. I think KD needs to go outside and touch some grass, do some yoga, like get offline. Because the whole point is, the more time you spend online, the unhappier you are. And I feel like that's at least personally for me. The more I'm on Twitter, the more I'm on Instagram, the more I'm on whatever, it's like damn, this sucks, right?

And then if you live on that just perpetually and you have that much money and you have that much access to just saying whatever you want without these repercussions, it continues to be bad for your mental health. What's his screen time? I need to know. I just think that there's an ability to not really be on social media all the time, check in every few days

and respond to some trolls yourself and mess with them. It's not like Kevin Durant is some white dude in his 20s turning into the Joker. I will say, I will say he seems to be finding joy in sort of setting people straight at this point in his career. Using the trolls to educate the rest of us. No, I'm with you, and you guys are never gonna agree

with me, because I thought he was saying we going down the slide, and none of you did, so we just see things differently, and that's fine. Stugatz here for my friends over at Simply Safe. The holiday season is right around the corner. That means you're away more and burglars know it. That means you need to protect your home. Right now, Simply Safe is giving exclusive early access

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your family, and your peace of mind protected with Simply Safe. There's no safe like Simply Safe. This is the Don LeVittor Show with the Stugats Podcast. Show with the Stugarts Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I know I've stumbled onto something that'll be fun for us to talk about when Amin gives me his own private show during our introduction

where he gives me his opinions on Kevin Durant that probably would have been useful for the audience to hear as well given that he's our basketball or one of our basketball experts. But you were saying, Amin, during the introduction to only me. Well, I mean, you guys were on a roll. I didn't want to break it up. Everyone had their own pop psychology degrees out and with the pipe in the tweed jacket I believe that mr. Tranter is afflicted with this kind of behavior That's a pipe you're talking about a phone the weird pipe phone that does look like a phone

I've got patches on my elbows to everybody's calling me sanctimonious today, so I should have dressed the part. I should have gone tweet I should have gone tweed there. This is not an echo chamber. So the irony of our entire conversation is, if you want to know what upsets Kevin Durant, it's that kind of conversation. I just said that in here. It's the idea like, well, I'll tell you why he's upset or why he's having a good time.

He would just say, none of you people know me. You've never had you people know me. You've never had a conversation with me. How do you know whether I'm happy or not? Also, can't we just talk about basketball? That's what Kevin Durant would say to that. All totally fair and the information that we have is you're smoking weed all the time.

You seem to be fighting on the internet all the time. And when we saw you playing basketball, you left a champion and everyone wanted to punch each other even though you guys were winning all the games and it was a little confusing to us because you you went and did the thing you wanted to do you won your championships you thought you were securing your legacy you didn't secure your legacy and now we're talking about whether or not you seem happy or not because we haven't seen a lot of joy in what it is, the results of what you're showing us publicly

doesn't have a lot of mirth in it. Well, I think a lot of stuff is lost in translation. Number one, our standard of joy is, oh yeah, you go to a champion and you keep winning and that's joy. Or that's what is fulfilling career-wise. And I could see, I don't know, but I could see for him, like, okay, I did that, now let me try

doing something different. The intellectual pursuit of doing something different, which to the sports fans, like, what do you mean? You're just supposed to win 18 million in a row, and then retire the greatest ever. And for him, it was like, yeah, kind of boring. All the winning got boring made perhaps he's still great he wins last night against the miami heat i would say uh...

kevin drance game is gonna age better than jimmy butler's game because he's always going to be able to get those jump shots and get uh... get all that scoring uh... the thing that i wanted to talk about from last night in basketball was what the Warriors did to the Celtics at Boston, and one thing in the middle of it that you don't see a lot of, which is, Steph Curry makes the turnover,

Steve Kerr rips him, and then says after the game, quote, the beauty of Steph is that I could yell at him. There aren't a lot of superstars taking that. Give me all the guys you have taking a lambasting right now from their coach because they're not running that league and their teams. Because all of a sudden Anthony Edwards is taking a bunch of threes. Now everybody's taking a bunch of threes. These players clearly run the league.

And over in Golden State, you've got a decorated champion who has nothing else to prove who's taking a public yelling from his coach in front of everybody. When Steph Curry, I don't think he needs any of that, but the reason they're doing that is because Steph Curry is like, I want Coach to coach me the way that he coaches everybody. That's a good way to lead.

You know, Steve Kerr experienced this on the other side as a player playing for Greg Popovich that he coaches everybody, that's a good way to lead. Steve Kerr experienced this on the other side as a player playing for Greg Popovich and seeing how Pop coached Tim Duncan and Tony Parker and Monica Nobly. And it really started with Tim. And the conversation very early in Pop and Tim's career is, hey, I'm going to do this to you in front of everybody

so that they all know if the best player is gonna get talked to like this, then everybody else just has to fall in line. And you know, Greg Pavec, I think he said this in his Hall of Fame speech last year, but it was something along the lines of like, yeah, if it weren't for Tim, I wouldn't be able to be the coach that I am because that gives you license

to basically do that But it comes with permission. It's not because I'm just tougher than him It's he's allowing it to happen right and the same thing when Steve Kerr got to Golden State He said Steph Curry reminds him of Tim Duncan in that regard is like he'll allow you to coach him hard If for no other reason than just to send the reason to everybody else, look, anybody could get it, even the franchise player. Well, it's a great contrast to Kevin Durant, which we were talking about earlier,

because Steph Curry at every stage was beloved by everybody, right? So if you have the one person who is going to say to him, hey, I'm going to be negative with you, I'm gonna give you a hard time so that everybody thinks, oh wow, I respect you, but you know in your heart of hearts, not only are you my number one,

but everybody here loves you. Kevin Durant never had that, right? So if Steve Kerr would have gone off on him, it would have been like, why are you going off on me, Steph Curry doesn't play the same defense that I can. So it's just a matter of what he's able to withstand. It's the permission. It comes down to the permission.

Steve Kerr could not coach Kevin Durant in that way because I don't believe Kevin Durant granted him the permission to do so. To a lesser extent, Draymond Green grants that permission, but it's a weird kind of masochistic like, I don't like it when people scream at me, you know, this is how Coach Izzo coached me, so I want you to coach me like that. But yeah, you know, his ability to coach Steph in that way is absolutely, it's a two-way street. It's not just, I'm gonna coach you this way.

It's, hey, is it cool if I do this? Yeah, all right, shoot. What is the heart of hearts? Is it a heart inside of a heart? Is it the beating heart of a heart? How many hearts does Izzy have? Because it's your heart of hearts? In my heart of hearts, I have a room full of hearts,

and in the middle of that room is a heart. Josh hearts in there for some reason. And he's the heart of hearts I have a room full of hearts and in the middle that room is a heart Josh hearts in there for some reason and he's the heart so is Kevin Hart's I think I think that it's a heart inside of a heart right it's the beating if you're saying in your heart of hearts what you're saying is that that heart also has a heart and that's the beating heart right Mary heart rest in peace you guys can keep doing this but I would like an answer to my question. It's obnoxious, so it's probably some like Shakespeare thing or something. It is Shakespeare.

Yeah, we're getting to it. Okay, but do you guys, when you say it, if you say it, Izzy was the only one who said it, but when you say heart of hearts, what is it that you're imagining? Surely it's not Shakespeare. Surely that when you say that, you're not holding- It's not Shirley either. you're not holding. Not surely either.

You're not holding up a skull and staring at it and talking to it. I'm kind of with a mean. I've got a room full of hearts for some reason and I'm kind of just looking around, like which heart am I going with today? Aren't there animals with multiple hearts and one of them does most of the work, no?

I'll ask Ron. I think a cow. Isn't a cow like two hearts? Multiple stomachs for a cow. That's stomachs, yeah. Yeah. And my stomach of stomachs. That's stomachs, yeah. Yeah. And my stomach of stomachs. Tony, that was excellent work in a very small window

as a mean just to ask something breathtakingly stupid. It's the chud. The chud moves from one stomach to the other stomach and then back out. And you know, they say that the keto man's heart is through his stomach. Attaboy. So a cow.

Are you of the belief that there is an animal in the animal kingdom that has multiple hearts? Yes, Jimmy Butler. Not last night. Not last night at the end of the game. Can you explain to me, because there are a handful of things that happened last night that were fun and funny. The Warriors game against the Celtics was one of them.

John Morant and LeBron going back and forth on who's too small for the other. I'm so tired of that as a celebration that people keep going lower and lower. Just keep going all the way down, Danny. Go on the floor right here. Kevin Durant goes here with the two fingers. It's great.

They've got to keep, stop going so low. LeBron went all the way to the floor and saying that John Yeah, John Moran is at your kneecap. He can't do anything with you in your post in the post We know this this is one of the things that was interesting from last night But there were there were multiple games that were interesting and very quietly Yoke, it goes 23 20 and 16 and knocks off Okay see as quietly, Jokic goes 23, 20, and 16 and knocks off OKC. As Michael Porter says, and you guys tell me

whether he's got this right, Michael Porter says this might be the last dance for the Nuggets. And I'm like, not if they keep the first two guys. It's not. It's only, like, you might think it's the last dance, because they might get rid of you. It might be your last dance. It might be your last dance, but it's not everybody's last dance.

He's like the Horace Grant of the Bulls, right? It's your last dance, we'll move on to Dennis after this. Not even, more like BJ Armstrong. Wow. He's the fifth, he's not the fourth. He's not Horace Grant, he's not the fourth on that team. He's the fifth, is he not? Who's not?

Octopuses and squids, by the way. There it is. I knew there was an animal. Also, hagfish. Don't like that name. Earthworms, roaches, you. Cuttlefish, garden snails, multiple hearts. There you go.

Roaches have multiple hearts? That's why they can survive the apocalypse and nuclear bomb hits one of them, bam! The other heart kicks in. Lot of heart. Says that their main heart is in their head. Of the cockroach. Yes.

Put it on the poll please, at LeBittard Show. Did you know the cockroach had multiple hearts? Did you know that the main heart of the cockroach was in its head? That makes me wanna stomp them less. A little bit. I don't know, there's a lot going on down there. Stomping cockroaches is a messy affair.

It is, but it needs to be done. No it doesn't. Dominance needs to be established. This is my house. This is not your house. I told you guys the story. This happened to me recently. My wife loves when I'm a fool and I do it daily.

Yesterday I did it twice. Twice I was a fool. I used one of her. Cal had multiple hearts. Not that bad, no. Not quite that foolish, no. The two mistakes that I made yesterday is I took one of the most

expensive towels and I put it in a place that was just picking up floodwater. I didn't know it was one of the most expensive towels. It was a bad towel. I also tried to help her with something and locked us entirely out of the house. But the the time with the cockroach that happened recently, I told you this and it's physically funny. I wish that I had the video of this. She's scared of cockroaches and so it's the only time I could be like truly heroic Yeah, so I come running in with a shoe and I went to go bang it, but I missed and then barrel roll

Because I came in so I ended up like in a head and next to a hamper like all sprawled out in the end the Roaches ran off because I did the roads give you a too small and the roach just ran off. Did the roach give you a too small? I totally missed it, but I just combat rolled and I missed it by this much and I would have killed it. Like it would have been theatrically great, but I wish I had video of it because it was so stupid. Quick question for the room.

Funny or dance story that you wish were on video, that one or the one with him in the elevator with the beautiful woman and coming out with the drink, falling into the other elevator across the way with the drinks splashing everywhere? I've got a third one I wish I had video of. The one where your dog died and you were in the car crying? That's a good one too.

Well I could also give you the guy who asked me about our show while I was in the middle of a testicular ultrasound. Oh, great one. But I think if I had video the middle of a testicular ultrasound. Oh! Great one. But I think if I had video, some of the best I would have, like if I, I've only had one video in my life that I believe could win America's Funniest Home Videos

or finish in the top three. Rookie. I was, and believe it or not, this story is going to, it's gonna test whether or not people believe it because I was washing my car and it's been a long time since I've washed my own car. And I couldn't get the hose to work correctly

so I was sort of shaking it and eventually I threw it down and as I threw it down, it hits and the water goes in my face and so I'm moving away from the water in my face but then as my head comes up, I just run straight into the light that is on our porch and just go straight down, straight down,

because I ran into a light, the light didn't even move that was on the porch. It was one of these big, big lights. And so, yeah, if I had the video of that. Can we check your Ring Cam history, please? Please. It was pre Ring Cam. All I wanna- I was washing my own car.

It was a long time ago. I'm still thinking about your towel depth chart. So you have like some towels that are expensive towels. Like all my towels are on the same level. I don't really have a towel where like my wife's like, don't touch that towel. Like they're all- Egalitarian.

They're all just towels. I live on the beach and so there are a lot of colorful towels that seem like they've been there for a while that I didn't know were the expensive towels. And so I thought that they were just towels that we don't use very often. Every Hispanic family has the towels that are in the bathroom that you can't use, right?

They're just there for show, pa bonito, so that I go in to wash my hands and then I sneak and actually do it. So I sneak and dry my hands on those towels, even though my wife was like, dude. No man, you gotta air dry dry you cannot touch those wait nobody Damp I will go announce it to the homeowner and say somebody's been using your fancy. No wait This is what you're missing. This is what you're missing. I don't do it in the front

I go to the back of the town in the back door Do like this to the back of the towel and then I keep it moving that way Izzy comes to my house goes to touch The sec the the ceremonial towels, bam. I thought those towels were there to dry the hands. I know you don't use them to like, they're not shower towels, but those towels are when you're done washing your hands. You just do the little.

Only in your fantasies can you dry your hands on those towels. Oh man, I'm learning a lot today. I like that Izzy is like the towel inspector. He comes to houses and then he goes to the bathroom and then he checks to see if the ceremonial towel has been used by anyone else. And it's very convenient by the way

that you then announce that someone's been using these towels. It wasn't me. I don't have fancy towels but I have a fancy fold to my towels, right? So if you go to my guest room and you see my towels hanging fancily, do not touch them because they will droop and they will fall down. And if you can't fix them, don't touch them because they will droop and they will fall down.

And if you can't fix them, don't touch them. I'm still on cockroaches, by the way. It's unclear if they actually do have multiple hearts. Google search is really giving me a tough time. They may only have one heart, but it's in multiple parts of their body. It's not their head anymore? I wish I could tell you.

All right, I've got a number of questions, not about the roach, please keep researching that. Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at LeBataard Show. Do you have a ceremonial towel? You guys are saying, because I wanna know what all the rules are here, because we learn things all the time when we start rummaging around

in people's different bathroom habits. We learn cultural things, we learn a number of different things. There are cultures that don't use the washcloth there's that there's some failed basic hygiene learning there in not using the the washcloth we have learned about sitting and standing wipers there are different all over the world and some of them are learning right now that there is another kind right now but I don't know what correct towel behavior is.

And what Tony is saying there, while always aggrieved with Tony somehow, if I touch a towel in somebody's house and I'm a guest and it's damp, that's not a good situation. There's gonna be some disgust because I don't know where that towel's been. I don't know where that dampness comes from. I don't know who used that towel for said dampness and so I want to know what the rules are now of

Towels because what Tony just described there I did not think that the ceremonial towel was ever to be touched by anybody and I believe your wife would be offended if she learned Right now that after playing basketball or wherever your your hands have been Hey, wherever it is your hands have been, that they're clean on the back of towels that she doesn't want touched. I think there's a misnomer going on around here, a misunderstanding.

It isn't a misnomer. Yes, it's a misunderstanding. I misunderstood what the meaning of misnomer was. There's a misunderstanding in that you've got Tony like, I've got dirty hands. Let me wipe them off on the towel. That's not what he's saying. What he's saying is you went to the bathroom,

you washed your hands, soap, water, everything, clean, 20 seconds, did the happy birthday song, everything, right, remember that? Shout out to COVID. You're supposed to do it twice. Really? Yeah. I'm good with once.

Maybe I did spread it. I sing slow. Shout out to COVID. Yeah, I mean, remember that was the whole thing. No, I do remember, but just shout out to COVID. And I do extra soap underneath my fingernails. I do this, you do this right here, where you scratch your fingernails against your palm,

and then the other one like that, oh man. We did a segment where we asked somebody for 12 minutes how to correctly wash their hands. That was something that we did. Still couldn't get it right after that. And now we're figuring out how to dry them. There you go, we've moved on. It only took four years.

So now your hands are clean and wet. I need to dry them off somewhere. There are these towels that are hand towel size, right? I'm not, I'm so- There's actually three, it's a tier system. It's the bath towel that's the big one. Then it's like a face towel that's a medium one. And then there's the hand towel that sits on top of all three.

You're talking about the decorative towels that are like, some of them are like 50% embroidery or like Mine doesn't have like embroidery or lace on it It's just a regular towel, but it's the towel that my wife says I cannot use which makes me want does it look like the other? Towels. Yeah You should you're not allowed to use that one kind of look at this simple set of rules here This is an animal form. Hold on, what made that towel so special?

I didn't think embroidered towels were used. I thought those were decorative. They might not even dry. That's what I thought we were talking about the whole time. What towel are you guys using when you brush your teeth in the bathroom to wipe your face off? I use my toothbrush for that. The hand towel.

No, I'm saying after. Chris puts toothpaste on a towel and sprays it. No, I'm saying to dry off your face after you've brushed your teeth. I'm not allowed to use these towels apparently. It's a good question. I use the same towel that I just hung on the door your face after you brush your teeth. I'm not allowed to use a good towel. Apparently I use the same towel that I just hung on the door. Exactly.

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You look like you're about to ask me to like check the oil on my car. Get him! Or like come over and like look around and point things in my house that need to be fixed. This is the Dan LeBataar Show with the Stugats! No, simple set of rules, okay? You've got the decorative ones that are on the towel rack, okay? You look at those, they look really nice, maybe they're folded kind of fancily, don't touch those, okay? If you happen to be at somebody's house where you see a towel either hanging on a hook

or on the shower, right? That's been reused. That's potentially going to be reused for a shower. It might have ass on it. Exactly. That's always a danger. It's not an ass towel. The ass towel is totally different. The ass towel is on the... I'm always wearing the ass towel. That's what I'm scared of everywhere. Where's the ass towel? You find it in the bathroom. That's the ass towel. You know what's not the ass towel is the hand towel that's directly next to the sink. If the homeowner or home renter is not offering you a hand towel next to the sink, you're in the wild west, man. You don't know what to do.

You could get ass to the face. You could get reprimanded by doing all this fancy towel. You have to have a hand towel on the side of the sink. You guys are doing this all wrong. Look, the only one that doesn't have ass on it is the smaller ones right the big ones A big bath towel anything goes there which smaller ones because I think Tony must look the real small ones for washcloths The washcloths are absolutely ass towels. The embroidered one can't be used for anything. Yes you can because you know it hasn't touched anybody's ass

It can't be used for anything other than decoration the embroidered towel is not to be used for anything. I need to dry my hands. Let me add something else, which I've learned, trial and error, do not put hand soap and hand lotion in the guest bathroom because people will inevitably use the hand lotion as soap and then complain and think that they didn't because they didn't read it. This conversation is not helping.

I'm more confused about towels than I was before we started this conversation. All right, let's start again. The embroidered towel. Save this one. At LeBotard Show, the embroidered towel, do you use it to wash your hands? Yes or no?

No, you use it to dry your hands. To dry your hands, thank you. Do you use it around anything that has wet hands? Because I don't think the embroidered towel is anything other than something that's hanging from a loop. It's hanging from a loop and it's just put there on the wall the same way you'd put a mirror on the wall. It's there to bring accents in the bathroom together,

the feng shui of the bathroom. That's what it's there is not there to be used by your mouth, by your hands and certainly not by your ass. What kind of savage would you be to use the embroidered towel for your ass? That would be like rough, too. Oh, that would hurt. Drying your hands with that towel

would be the equivalent of walking into the person's house and cleaning your feet on the area rug in the living room instead of the mat. No, it's not the equivalent of that. I'll tell you why. Because you've washed your hands. My hands are clean. That is true.

You're missing the washing. The hands are clean at this point, guys. I'm gonna come to all your houses and rub my ass on your towels. The conversation is ridiculous. I'm gonna do it right now. I'm gonna leave right now. I'm gonna do it right now.

You're kind of escalating the threat very quickly. Leave my embroidered towels alone. She's start scooting out there. I don't understand why it is she's threatening me. She's walking out, I don't know. We didn't get any clarification by the way. She knows where I live actually. The expensive towels that you used

against your wife's wishes, right? Yes. Are they ceremonial towels or are they just, oh this is for special occasion towels? This is what happened, okay? Because of all of the strange rain stuff happening, I never know when an area is going to get flooded on one of the balconies of the home.

And so I'm trying to put some towels there in the door to make sure that I don't get flooding and those towels I just go to the bottom of A closet that I thought had the bad fabric towels the bad colored towels the cheap towels the old towels And as I do that it is explained to me that I have chosen the worst possible Towel in the house to do that with that it's the most expensive of the towels it's got some brand name that starts with an M that I don't know about so to a means point what are you using that towel for with its intended purpose of being expensive

I was I was never using it for anything but it is a beach towel it is something I have not seen used but the colorful towels are the beach towels, correct? Like the towels that have multiple colors on them are the beach towels Normally, and they're normally a little bigger. The size is what tells yeah. I see I've got This is very fascinating to me because now I feel like we've entered a subculture of the towels and within the towel community Everyone has different like levels of hierarchy almost like a caste system and You're saying you these towels that you use these are like aristocrats, right? They walk around There we are only used for beach day many people listening to this hear me say embroidered towels And you're saying what the bleep are you talking about? I don't have any

Remember the prince and the pauper? Where it's like a prince and it's like twins with a homeless kid, or excuse me, an unhoused gentleman of a kid? Separated at birth. Separated at birth. And then they switched places, right? And the unhoused one becomes the prince,

and the prince one has to live amongst the people, right? A pauper. It's kind of like a pauper. It's kind of like trading places. You did the trading places, prince and the pauper, with the towels. This towel's supposed to be fed candies and grapes and stuff like that,

and instead you said, get to work down in the salt mines. And the towel's like, but I don't do that, sir. It was an elitist towel, for sure. It doesn't do migrant labor. I found an expensive Missoni towel, which I think maybe you have. And if I spent this much money on a towel,

I would never use it. I'd frame it and I'd just like stare at it. I prefer my MagnaBox. You guys are showing me some things here that I was not aware of. I had not given towels a lot of thought. I thought there was a spot between whatever is

your shower towel and your beach towel for a luxury larger towel that is somewhere a size in between whatever it is, is the normal size towel in the bathroom and the beach towel. I thought there was another luxury towel. There are luxurious bath towels that are ginormous and they're too fluffy for me. Too fluffy, they don't get enough water.

I'm a hard towel guy. Yeah, hard towel guy. But but Dan you're a big guy I'm a big guy sometimes what I like to do sometimes my wife knows sometimes she doesn't I take the bath towels that Are smaller and then I switch them with the beach towels that have that rougher feel because they're like a rough towel Not a soft towel little and then I use yeah, I use the beach towel Which is like huge like seven feet by like four feet And I use that instead of the beach time. I don't like soft towels soft towels if I'm wet I'm all of a sudden. It's like putting cotton swab. I'm washing my I'm drying myself with a rug still wet after drying off You're moving the water around. That's all you're doing. It's not removing the water

It's just a you want this water nail like soft. Give me that rough towel There are people who like soft towels. We should do polls. All right, at LeBittard Show, soft towel or hard towel. Valerie says hi, by the way. Jess has returned from putting her ass on all our embroidered towels. The embroidery that I speak of, the thing that's funny about this to me is I'm envisioning,

like my grandparents had no money. They came from no money. But the first time I discovered, with awe and wonder as a child, going into a tiny little home right near where the Orange Bowl was, the idea of a towel as decoration was the embroidered towel that had been brought from Cuba

that was on the wall and was not to be used in any way. Wasn't even a towel that had any practical usage. It was like a napkin, the towel was. But my grandmother then thought that the height of luxury was one year, getting me as a gift, monogram towels, the height of luxury. DLB, and so you can imagine how my friends made fun of me. Look guys, if Dan passes out in the shower,

he'll wake up and know what his initials are. Like just the amount of mockery that came with my grandmother buying me what she thought was a wonderful thing to buy me, but the embroidered monogrammed towels are the height of Jackassery, correct? Like no. What?

You don't say that about your grandma, man. What's the point of those? Like do you live by yourself, right? You weren't married at the time, so it's just like there's no other body's towels here. Why do I need to know that they're mine? When I went to FAU, I was gifted as like going off to college. Here's some towels with your initials on them.

Nice, oh yes. No way. CWC. For college that makes more sense, right? If you're living in the dorms, maybe it gets mixed up, but if you're living by yourself. I wanna go back to Nana's embroidered towels. Abuela.

Abuela's, pardon me, Abuela's. No, don't, don't, don't. Don't think you know my grandma. Don't take my culture with Nana, like don't know. I have a Nana. Abuela, that's right, the Cody's have a Nana, the Leviton's have an Abuela, thank you. Wild Ruth. I will not be homogenized by you making everyone a Nana

She's an OE la the towel came from the old country was the towel pre-revolution Well, no the towel was bought from Cuba doesn't have monogram The children in Cuba using condoms, like because they don't have balloons in Cuba. Pre-revolution, Dan, that's all we're saying. They don't have monogrammed towels in Cuba. I want to put this on the poll, at LeBretard Show, if you have monogrammed towels, are you a jackass? Yes or no?

And also, you guys have seen on the cufflinks, some people put on dress shirts, they put the cufflinks, they put their initials or their name on the cufflinks, how are put on dress shirts, they put the cufflinks, they put their initials or their name on the cufflinks. How are we feeling about that one? I got a pair of those. Let me tell you, 2005 was a crazy time in my life. The cufflink era, I hope we never go back.

That was like, hey, we're going out tonight, right? To a club or to a bar, hold on, let me go home. My fanciest button-up shirt and a suit jacket with jeans and like these weird Stacey Adams shoes and then. Hold on, hold on, hold on. The cufflinks. No, he's right, he's right. Some of us were not going out to clubs in 2005.

Can you guys sort of elaborate on this timeline? So, once upon a time, the accepted dress code for dudes in this country was a massive white t-shirt and a throwback jersey of some sort. Maybe a headband, maybe a wristband, depending on how you want to do it, right? And then Jay-Z says, I don't wear jerseys, I'm 30 plus, give me a fresh pair of jeans and a button up. And instantly, throwback jerseys were dead, t-shirts were dead, and we all decided we

got to dress like Jay-Z. Business casual. Business casual. So you wore jeans and they were still baggy. They were still very baggy, but then you'd wear an oversized button-up shirt because nothing can be fitted, right? You wore like a blazer or a suit jacket,

didn't matter if it fit. What a time. But if you were really next level, that button-up shirt had cuff links. You had to have the cuff links out there and then you had to tug on the cuffs to make sure they showed so that the suit jacket didn't cover them up because then, well, what's the point?

And then you would just like, you know, when you go up to the bar, you settle to the bar, you do this, you lean on it, so everyone sees it gleaming and stuff, that was how we did it. Can I tell my favorite cufflink story? One time I was on this set of The Sports Reporters, I mean, it's his favorite. Yeah, well, I'll do ours after.

Set of the Sports Reporters, Dan's favorite show, and our great friend John Saunders, rest in power. I was doing a show, getting ready, and realized I did not have cufflinks, but I had a shirt that required cufflinks, and I was just like, well, it's a sports reporters, I'm gonna be classy, I'm not gonna roll up my sleeves, and you can see my forearms there.

And so John Saunders is like, yeah, I think I've got a pair, and he goes and he finds some for me and 15 minutes later comes out with a pair kind of giggling Tells me this completely unironically because this was about two weeks Maybe three weeks after I came out gives me the pair of cufflinks on them New York license plate ass man Cosmo Kramer plate ass man. Cosmo Kramer. Howdy folks it's Mike, it's football season, it's November, the leaves are turning colors and the pads are popping. From defending your favorite team after a bad loss to obsessively checking your fantasy lineup, football fandom is bigger

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