The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The Soda Drinker's Body

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

You see, the trouble with words is that if I have to use a lot of them or a little, I would lean the more. Also, Dan offers to build Billy his own studio in a La Vaquita on this Wild Billy Wednesday. Today's cast: Billy, Dan, Zaslow, Amin, Roy, Chris, Jeremy, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm Chris Hadfield, astronaut and citizen of planet Earth. Join me on a journey into the systems that power the world. No politics, just real conversations with real people shaping the future of energy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Billy, did Tony get arrested? Like what happened? Arrested?

No. I heard that he was, he's not here yet. He was kicked off the train is my understanding, as were others. Not just him, I think it was a train issue. Well, well, you know, I guess if he comes in, we'll figure that out. I did ask him though, I said,

there's snitches in this office saying that you were almost arrested a few weeks ago, and he said, very true, luckily I got acquitted. So if he arrives, I guess we'll get that story if he gets here. Aquitted, wait a minute, that means it went to trial. Yeah, he's not big on words and just knowing things. You know what?

That's what it's going to say on his tombstone. Wasn't big on words and like knowing things. Yeah. I mean, he's big on thinking he knows things, right? Well, he's big on thinking he knows words, too. He is guiltier than anyone here of using words incorrectly. Listen, if I had Tony's confidence, I would be unstoppable.

With my abilities and dashing good looks, if I had Tony's confidence, I mean, you wouldn't have seen me for five years already. Yeah, but if you had Tony's ignorance, you would have been arrested and you'd be serving a 10-year prison sentence. Or maybe acquitted. Maybe acquitted, yeah. Justice system is finicky. They'll let anyone be a juror. They're literally anyone. Except the people who want to be jurors, I've found. When I'm on jury duty, the people who are too eager to be jurors, they usually get kicked out,

which is like, why do you want 12 miserable people here deciding the fate of someone? What is the perfect way to get selected? Like, you have to be indifferent? I don't think it's like just outwardly say crazy crap anymore. I don't think that gets you off. No, but if I want to get selected,

like play, I gotta play, don't be too eager, play it cool. I had a judge that was friends with Dan, he told me he shared a taxi with Dan, I told Dan this already, he said that he's the Spanish play-by-play guy for the University of Miami and that him and Dan shared a cab once. And he said this in front of the, he had a story for everyone, every single person,

he was like interviewing, he had a story like, wow, he could relate to the person,. Yeah so I was talking to him and this guy every time he would ask a question like does anyone have a reason why XYZ and I was like and I kept putting my hand up for almost everything because I did have reasons that I could relate to these situations and at a certain point he said you should have just brought your own microphone from the studio. I ended up getting not selected. Are we still sharing cabs?

That's not a thing. In auspicious debut for Judge, right? Where were you? I used to do Spanish language played by- No, I think, I'm not sure if he still does it or not. Dude, the guy was late because his dog- He's very powerful. He's been powerful for 30 years.

So should I not tell the story? Wow. No, you should tell it. The guy was late because his dog vomited in the middle of his kitchen and he had to clean it up. So he kept all of us waiting and then he had to leave early because his friend that passed away that used to be a bank manager was having the branch named after him. So he had to go all the way down south for it. So it was a short day for us.

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Hold on to your hats, partners. It's about to go out. Amin is ready to go. Is Zazz ready to go? I feel like Zazz is ready to go. More confident than I've ever seen him. Chris, you can take it up. You're the EP, Chris. Go ahead and take up with Amin, why it is he's on his phone as we start the show.

It was just funny. You're like, Amin's ready to go. And I was like... Yeah. He's just still staring into his phone. He looks a little, feels a little sluggish bill You want to lure him out? We haven't really heard from him in a bit. Yeah, I've missed him. Where have you been? Where you been? Yeah traveling

Vegas that too. Oh Better with better with the wife or the boys Vegas Vegas is never a family trip. It's always a work trip. Someone claimed recently that Vegas is a better time when they're with their wife than their friends. I crushed it this weekend with my wife. It was amazing. Shows, I got some sleep, I ate good meals. Vegas? Yeah, it was Chris that said that. It was just, I'm telling you, it's a game changer. I never thought I'd say it. I think, I think it all depends, right, on what kind of relationship you have. Yeah, if your friends are losers. It depends.

Or maybe you've got a wife who's a go-getter or a significant other who's a go-getter. But to me, Vegas is crystallized with there's no such thing as clocks and there's no such thing as calendars, other than like, oh, we have a reservation at nine. But it's one in the morning, let's go eat. People, oh, if you're with people like that, whether it's friends or something, other than it's like, you're in the wrong place. Like, there's no such thing as time,

let's go hit up this bar, let's gamble, whatever you do, it's whatever time o'clock it is. If your Grand Lux Cafe is 24 hours, it's a place for me. That's the pinnacle. You also look like that. If I go in there, that's what I'm gonna see. It's gonna be an ocean of a thousand Cody's. Is that a tabletop?

Two in the morning at Grand Lux. Yes. You gotta do it at the bar, man. That's the thinking man's play, right? You don't get it. Wait for a table? No. Can I sit at the bar?

I love sitting at the bar at rest. When my wife and I go out to dinner, we do date night every now and then. Okay. Sometimes you got to devote time to your wife. All right? Everybody knows this. And when we go out to dinner, I always want to sit at the bar.

That's always my preference. She doesn't always let us, you know? But that's always my number one choice. I'll say, hey, can we sit at the bar? Because you don't want to wait for a table or just because you like it there better? Well, that's part of it, but I also like it better. I like the way we're sitting next to each other at the bar

and I got a guy right there who's ready to give me drinks whenever I want my drink. There you go. And there's a TV in front of me that has sports on. I love being at the bar. I think that's not the point of the date, though. I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm gonna count them out for you.

Number one, immediate seating. Number two, service is a lot faster. Food comes out faster. Hey, can you give me another maker's? The refills are fast, everything. Number three, as you said, television. Number four, this is how you sell it. Honey, when we're at a table, you're crossing,

I can't hear you so loud. You're right next to me. Proximity, I can hear you speak. I like being next to you and close to you. It's more intimate. That's why you sit at the bar. Because then what happens too, like if we get seated at a booth

and then she pulls the mover, it's like, do you want to sit on the same side of the booth with me? And I'm like, no, I'm not an asshole. But if we sit at the bar, it's like, all right, we're next to each other and I get credit for that. Do you think it's better to go on dates

the way you go on dates or not go on dates at all? Because like your date is, I wanna go to the bar where I have someone serving me a drink and I have a TV in front of me and we can get in and out as quickly as possible. And I would argue that's not probably a date that your wife wants to go on. So is it better to just not go on a date at all?

My dad's first date with my mom was famously at a Pizza Hut and they sat, my dad sat on the same side of the booth and it like with my mom was famously at a Pizza Hut and they set my dad sat on Sat on the same side of the booth and it like freaked my mom out really why is this weirdo? Sitting on the same side of the thing as me Yeah, they're going to the Pizza Hut with a date to a pizza buffet. Oh, that's a boss move. I miss that pizza Yeah But one of the best things you can do is if there's like a bunch of fancy spots that you want to hit in Vegas Just on one given night

You can go sit at the bar grab an appetizer and a drink from one hop to the other Go sit and have your meal and a drink in another and then you know nightcap at the next one and now you've got An opportunity to check out all those different restaurants that you wouldn't have been able to either afford or go to other speaking of restaurants I actually found it hard to find Coke in Vegas. Really? A lot of Pepsi. Oh! Like every place you go.

Oh, God. Every place you go, it's Pepsi. I'm going to have to kick a mean out for that. Like he's been slow in this morning, and I'm going to have to kick him out for just not understanding what the hell's going on around here. Minor penalty, two minutes for not listening it's not the perfect penalty I'm gonna get the penalties refreshed so I have the

perfect penalty but I'm telling you you think like Vegas everywhere it's Pepsi everywhere my wife my wife's one of these people after a night of drinking she likes her lunch with a nice co-Cola. Nowhere, every hotel in Vegas, I swear. Restaurants, Pepsi. I don't drink soda, I don't know about any of that. Really? Nope. Your whole life? My whole life.

Or you just stopped? No, my whole life. Why? Just, I was never, we were never a soda house when I was a kid, and we're not a soda house now. Like my kids, they don't know soda. Really? Yeah. You want some right now? We have some here. No, man

I'm doing just do I look like I need soda. I'm doing just fine I have a soda drinker's body though without drinking soda I mean, I don't know what that means, but I'm gonna take it as an insult whatever if you said to me I either drank a lot of soda growing up or no soda. I would lean the More who for Zazz yeah I would lean the more. Who, for Zazz? Yeah. I mean, it's the funniest soda I've never tried before.

I'm sorry to do this to you, but I did say Tony's the worst with words. Go on. And Chris is the worst with words. What? I'm sorry to interrupt. That's my gimmick. I'm sorry to interrupt.

I would lean the more. Like, I don't even know what you're saying there. Try it again. If I said you've either had no soda in your life or a ton of soda, I would vote a ton of soda. Here you go. Why? You just look like a soda drinker.

All right. Yeah. You're wrong. Oh. Oh. Why not? If you already have a soda drinker's body, just indulge, drink some soda. Okay, first of all,

I think I haven't always had a soda drinker's body, okay? I've never even heard that before. I don't know what. I've never heard someone say, wow, that homeboy over there's got a soda drinker's body. I've never heard that before. I have one too. Yeah.

This is why it's a little bit insulting what you say. It's not insulting, it's just a descriptor. If you find it insulting, that's you judging other people's bodies, not me. Dan, you've heard that before? You've heard someone describe does they have a soda drinker's body? I am gonna be honest with you right now. Don someone describe does they have a soda drinker's body? I am gonna be honest with you right now.

Don't tell me I have a soda drinker's body. No, what's gonna hurt me about this, okay, what's gonna hurt me about this is I don't like succumbing to the things sometimes that make Wild Willy Wednesday successful. But when he said that, my initial reaction was legitimately that's one of the best insults I've ever heard. What's an insult?

Descriptor. You have a soda drinker's body is not something I've ever heard, but it's absolutely an insult. I got one in sports, Dion Waiters. Oh no, Kyle Lowry. Yeah, that's a good one. I think Kyle Lowry's got an ice cream sundae's body. Hmm.

Okay, I don't believe we should be body shaming. Anyone around here? This isn't shaming, just descriptors. If you guys find it insulting, that's on you for receiving it that way. Just descriptors. Okay, I'm gonna put it on the poll at LeBretard Show. Is it an insult to tell someone

they have a soda drinker's body? How can it not be? Well, because I don't think of soda as healthy, I think of it as sugary, an insult to tell someone they have a soda drinker's body. Because I don't think of soda as healthy, I think of it as sugary, and I think, like okay, maybe you mean a triathlete who needs a lot of glucose, but I don't think it's what you mean. I got one, Zazzle's softball teammate, Mike Lowell.

That's right, you think he's got a soda drinker's body? Good body, but a soda drinker's body, not super defined. That's good, because we can't just keep doing chubby people. He's not chubby. That's what I mean. You're playing the game well. Let's find someone that's not chubby. Justin Bork drinks a lot of milkshakes.

He's chubby. All right, let me get Tony caught up here as he arrives and we find out whether he's been arraigned or acquitted. He's exasperated. Acquitted, as always. Yeah, well, I don't know. Love didn't fit. OK, let's turn it down just a little.

Let's turn it down. He's hot today. You just got here and we got a lot of people who are already doing show, and it wasn't our fault you were late. So, let's settle down. Wasn't mine either. Okay, but let's just settle down for a second.

Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. He's telling you to shut up. Let me see if I can catch you up. Billy, if you wanna be my Tony translator, he's not good with words, we've already established it. So I'm gonna try and catch up here, Tony. First question, Tony, when you need exactly the right word to say, in our group of people, who's the worst

at having the correct word to say? Who has the most trouble with words around here? Who would your vote be for the people who are on air? Got it on my left over here. What's up? Sometimes says things that don't make sense, but I'm also very close second to sometimes I say things that don't make sense, but I also say things that make sense that go over your head so far that Izzy on days has to go be

like, yeah, you said the right thing. And I was like, OK, perfect. Dan didn't understand. I'd lean more. OK, Tony, you've come in here aggressively today. I'm just answering the question. Dan, I'm just telling you, like, we're moments away from Tony challenging another person

to a fight in the office. Well, it's gonna be me. It seems like it's you, so I just. See, where we were headed is we were gonna have our first ever me challenging someone in the office to a fight, because he comes in here like he owns the place, and I need him to settle down, because we've been doing some show, and he got here late, and so I'm gonna catch you up here.

Do you like sitting at the bar for dinner? If you and your wife walk into the restaurant are you and your wife going to prefer sitting at the bar for dinner? Yeah I'd like that. Alright put it on the poll at LeBotardShow. Do you like sitting at the bar for dinner? Okay Zazla you said before Tony got here that you're not an asshole because you don't sit next to your wife in a booth if there are two seats across from each other. We've been married this year will be 18 years.

Sitting on the same, I'm sitting next to her on the same side of the booth, come on. It's called romance, try it. All right, so let me put this on the poll. At Levitard Show. 18 years. You guys broke up, you count that gap right now. That was before we were married playa Oh, you so 18 years of marriage. Yeah, okay

Some people celebrate their entire anniversary. I was 10 years in before I got married so I lost credit for 10 years of a relationship That's crazy, right? I don't know man. I haven't told a lot of time to thinking like that. I mean I'm saying in terms of trying to accumulate hours with your wet with your marriage I don't understand is like if I've been married for six years coming up on six years this week, right? But but to get we were together before for ten years You wish you could be able to tell people you're married for 16. No, I should get credit for being in a 16 year relationship Not a six year earlier sounds Am radio I couldn't buy a ring., so so it's about it's about money not about no like for instance

You love money when Billy gets the 40 ho that women wives come on. You better be careful Wives is one thing you say wives. That's one thing that is a you better You know what you know what hold on a second because he's getting too comfortable, too I need all of you to get a little less comfortable. Just slightly less comfortable. Fair criticism. Alright. We've got a penalty, five minutes. Major asshole. I know it's a Wild Willy Wednesday, just slightly less comfortable.

I talk fast, you know, the words they come out wrong. Okay. Where does he rank on the list? Get your soda drinker's body out of here. He does have a soda drinker's body. drinks like coke heavy not even zero not even dial it The best part is he just said he literally has never drank So you're getting caught up and anything else in him. Yes, there's much much else The more as Chris likes to say don't live at hard. That was a long story. Yeah. It's the only kind he tells.

It's a short one for me. I tried to speed it up for you guys. You forgot about the league's cup. Stugats. Yeah. La Carreta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlins celebration because it was Lovato. Well, when Fidel died the first time. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the StuGuts. So put this on the poll as well. You got four seats in a booth. Are the two people sitting next to each other in two empty seats, with two empty seats, assholes? Because none of you guys do this? None of you will sit next to your wife in a booth?

I'll do that. Romance. You should try it sometimes. Zaz doesn't drink soda, but is Zazz having a soda drinker's body? Is that an insult? Cause Billy said that to Zazz and then said it wasn't an insult. Well, it takes one to know when Billy has a soda drinker's

body. Whoa! He drinks soda. Like there's nothing wrong with that. That's fine. I drink soda. No, but he, but Billy's, Billy's got a, a high school, pole vaulters.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. He had that. Collegiate, collegiate. Excuse me. High school too though, because that's how he started. He had that. Okay, wait a minute. So does Billy, no, because I think,

you don't think of soda drinker's body as soft? Yeah. I'm looking at Billy, I think he's a little soft. Yeah. He does his Peloton stuff, his lower body's very strong, but the upper body needs a little work. I weighed myself two days ago and it's the secuest second heaviest I've ever been really Yeah, second heaviest. What's the number the number now? Yeah, now I feel judgmental. When was the heavy? It's not the heaviest. So all right now I was a 203

It's not nice. When was that? I know but I fancy myself even though I'm taller. I I've always thought like I was I grew up a skinny boy So I've always thought like that's my body type. So like even though like I'm six foot plus I You know, I think like I should be like the 180s where I'd really I'd be like skinny if I did that same No, too, bro I was a skinny person for most of my life. And then now when I look at the number, I'm like, that seems really heavy.

But I look at myself in the mirror and I see a skinny person, but then I see myself in a photograph and I'm like, oh, that dude's not skinny, man. Well, I have like body dysmorphia, right? Cause like when I was like at 180, 190, I'm like, I should, like I could put on easy, like 10 pounds of muscle, be like 200 is like ideal. Like if I'm fit, right? And then I get to 200, I'm like, I could put on easily 10 pounds of muscle, be like 200's ideal, like if I'm fit, right?

And then I get to 200, I'm like, whoa, this is like a threshold I'm probably not gonna go back from. And then I'm not gonna get back under 200. 207 was the highest. The thing is, is that when I do exercise and I put on muscle, I don't lose weight. I stay the same weight.

So then I look at it and I'm like, yeah, I'm fat. Reason is because muscle weighs more than fat. Yeah what do you think Dan? Well I'm a bit confused because I don't know I don't have proper information I've always thought you look like an athlete you are an athlete you were an athlete when you crushed everyone in sprints it's as good as anyone around here has ever looked athletically. We don't have a better photograph out here or a better athletic memory than you beating a mean in Pablo pulling hamstrings and Chris Cody,

who surprised us, and you look muscular, you look like Thor, it's the most confident Billy I have ever seen. So I always look at you and I assume that you feel like you're in an athlete's body. So I was surprised to hear you say that you have body dysmorphia. And then I was further surprised

to look in and see no introspection from you when Tony's saying you've got a soda drinker's body because you genuinely believe that's not an insult. I, I, I- Tell us your descriptor. But because soda drinker's body is an, it's absolutely an insult. He's saying you're soft.

Saying you look like you consume something that is entirely unhealthy. Can I come to Billy's defense here? Yeah. By way of example, I don't think Dan has a soda drinker's body. I'm listening to you guys and I'm just saying I've been fat all my life.

That's an empanada body. Yeah, now that, yes. You got none of the say here, you. You got all the above. Everybody. You were saying, I'm sorry. No, I was saying you don't have a soda drinker's body. I don't look at you, this guy consumes soda.

You, you got a soda drinker's body. Except I literally don't drink soda. Never have. So Tony, we have two. What's the more shocking fact, and you'll be fully caught up here, whether this person has never, you know what, not shocking fact, I'm going to say disgusting fact.

Or what's another, now I'm having trouble with words. Number four on the list. You say it and then I'll correct you if not. All right, all right, so these are the two things we have to put next to each other that I wanna compare. Zazz has never had a soda in his life. Lies. Greg Cody's first date was with his wife was at Pizza Hut. But it was a different, we had a soda in his life. Lies. Greg Cody's first date was with his wife was at Pizza Hut.

But it was a different, we gotta- How old were they? Yeah, we also have to put things in perspective. What Pizza Hut, that's not the Pizza Hut that you know now. Yeah, that was a classy place. Yeah. That was a restaurant. You guys remember when Wendy's used to have a salad bar?

I do. Yes, that was a proper restaurant. Of course. Yeah. Proper society. How old were they when they went on this date? This was college when they first met. Eh, it's understandable-ish. By far, the standout of that story

is not that your father took your mother to a pizza hut. It's that on the first date, they sat on the same side of the booth together. And it creeped her out. To this day, she still makes fun of him for doing that. Romance, you should try it sometime. You guys are saying that Pizza Hut was a classy place. You're saying that back when they served prime rib

in first class on airplanes. And you could smoke? You guys are saying that Pizza Hut, because in my childhood, I went to Pizza Hut. It was the big reward. That was money in my childhood. But it's not because I thought it was classy. Dress up.

No, there was a buffet. Like, I don't think of any place classy having a buffet. Do you? Whoa, Folga da Tau. Got a buffet there? Text to Brazil. Put it on the poll at Lebatard Show. Does a classy place ever have a buffet?

At Lebatard Show. Same site on a first date is crazy because isn't that like same like Ted Bundy era also It's like that's that's a little creepy. Look at that tablecloth. So fancy red and white checkers It is oh my I wish I was there right now. Yeah, this is a lot better lit than most pizza I remember I remember them being very dim look at chandelier You got you guys don't have this right though. Even through a child's eyes, and that's a fat kid's eyes,

Pizza Hut, I went into it. And as a child, knowing not what good things were, I was like, this is not a classy place. Pizza Hut is where we would go for the end of year trophy ceremony after my baseball league every year. Pizza Hut was a thing. I'm sorry. Where were you guys going in college on dates?

Were you going out to white linen restaurants? Come on, man. That guy was a journalism major for crying out loud. How much money do you have in his pocket? He could go out to some fancy restaurant. Pizza Hut was a nice, affordable option. It wasn't like going to McDonald's, but it also wasn't gonna break the bank.

And by the way, romantic. Sit next to her. Creepy. All right, I've blown these, phrasing. The more shocking thing, Dan, is Zaz not having a soda. For doing 19,000 years of morning radio, he's never had a soda. Soda's great.

When you look at soda, I think of morning radio. Can I ask a serious question? You haven't had soda, for real? No, no, I mean, I've had some sodas, but I don't drink soda. I would never say, can I have a Coke? Can I have a Pepsi? Can I have a Sprite?

So why do you look like that? Damn. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So I'll be honest, I'm rattled because I'm scared because now Billy's the one getting confidence and I don't know what to do with it. Like it's a creature I have not experienced in 20 years

and so just blurting, yeah I got body dysmorphia and sitting next to Tony. So I'm just confused by what's happening here. I have what I think is our best nomination of a world class athlete with a soda body. Partola cologne. Better than partola cologne. That's a flan body.

Patrick Mahomes. Yeah. That's a good reaction. I just thought about the picture of him with his shirt off, and it's like, that doesn't look like the best quarterback in the world. Soda or beer? No, see, that's soda. Beer body to me.

No, Joppa Chamberlain, beer body. Perfect. Perfect. Never been better. Dan, Beer Body? Well, Beer Body, I associate Beer Body with Greg Cody. Like to me, and it's hardened, so it's like a Beer Body isn't necessarily soft in the belly.

A Beer Belly is hard. Yeah, doesn't it get hard and round? Yes, but I don't think of Patrick Mahomes as, see. That is soda right there. The only reason he's not really defined. He's strong, but the lack of definition coming from the soda. He'd benefit from not shaving his body.

Like he shaves his nips and he shaves his belly. If he had a little hair there, I feel like it'd mask it a little bit better. What's it gonna look like when he stops playing football? Geez, this is what it looks like when he's working out every day? I wouldn't body shame him. I'm kinda praising him, like this man can drink soda.

I take that body any minute. He can drink soda. And still do that. I'm learning things this hour. I did not know before right now that this great champion was a porpoise. I did not know that he was oddly hairless. That was something that was pointed out to me,

so thank you for teaching me that. I am sorry that I phrased the question so badly on the differences between Cody and Zazz, but what's the better content? Cody first date, Pizza Hut, Zazz has never had a soda. Cause you guys ended up combining them, but the question I was going for there before I tripped over Billy's confidence was that. I'm going to call it bullshit. So like when you go to McDonald's or Burger King. Never, never, never, never.

I've never had a soda. What do you get? You got a meal. The lemonade or the fruit punch? So much better. Even worse. I mean, go ahead. Whatever.

It tastes so much better. Do you think that Coke tastes better than that Hi-C fruit punch? How much Hi-C fruit punch do you think you've had in fruit punch? Yeah. How much high C fruit punch you think you've had in your life? Enough. McDonald's high C orange is elite. Yep. So good. They discontinued it and there was like a movement

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It's time to own it. Shop now at IKEA.ca. Don LeBretard! I thought that we were past the lightning. I thought that we were better than the lightning and we didn't give the lightning any mind. This is loser mentality. No, no, no. Last year's shirt was World War III. Our group chat has a good feeling about this one.

The Lightning aren't shit to me. I'm just gonna come right out and tell you right now. We have surpassed the Lightning. They're not a formidable foe. They're a joke. Stugats! I don't take them seriously at all. Strike me by Lightning. I don't care. Nothing's gonna happen to me. Lightning are soft. I'm not giving them any mind. I'm not paying attention to them this series. On to the next round. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats. Okay, this is getting bad, and I don't know what to do about it, but we-

He took a personal shot of it. It's in your contract. It's your day. It's your day. We you negotiate it sucks, which is more personal shot at you. Yeah. If anyone knows me, I love soda.

What are you the inventor of soda? I wish his mother-in-law has to hide the soda so he doesn't drink it at his house. I stopped buying soda unless I get pizza. If I get pizza, I get soda. You get a two liter? I get a two liter and that's where I get in trouble because I then have that for a couple days after and you know, let's be real,

I have pizza more than once a week. So the soda ends up making its way back into my house. And if you're, listen to me, pizza establishments, and this goes along the lines of what Chris is saying, if your pizza establishment is offering Pepsi, don't do it. Respect to the Pepsi people out there and the Pepsi Corp, if they're gonna sponsor us or if they don't, whatever.

But I will go out of my way to buy Coca-Cola elsewhere. I will make multiple stops if I have to. Really? Yeah, multiple stops if I have to. Well, I mean Pizza Hut is the Pepsi kind of, they're in the family, the Frito-Lay family, so. I'll have Pepsi if I must, but if I'm ordering pizza, I'm a big takeout guy, like I'll order it

and then I'll drive and I'll go get it. It's quicker to me, saves me a couple shekels, even though I then go out of my way and I pay them a tip anyways, which is a whole, I'm giving them like 10, 15% when I'm doing the majority of the effort there. All you have to do is do your job. And then depending on where I go,

then I'll pull into a farm store. Do you guys know about farm store? It's not like a, it's not a national chain. In fact, it's barely a local chain and where they've been closing around left and right, there's florists now that occupy old farms. It's like a drive-through convenience store, basically. I'm sure you have something here.

You don't know about farm stores? Just not farm stores. Yeah, it's shaped like a little barn. It's called farm stores. There's a cow on the picture. That's why they call it La Vaquita. La Vaquita, which is the cow in Spanish. The little cow.

Uniquely Miami. It is. Just pull up, you're like, yo, give me that 2% milk. They got them in Davie. Billi almost bought one. They got it in Davie. Dude, I had one that I was eyeing that I wanted to buy for the longest time.

You know what stops me from following my dreams? What's that? Resources. Yeah, if I had the resources, I would have bought up a series of lavaquitas and one of them that I wanted to buy, it's right by my house. It's still vacant-ish,

but I can tell they're doing work on it. It said close for remodeling, reopening in 2014, and they took down that sign last year. So I knew that that sign was a little bit faulty because there had been a decade that that sign was up. I wanted to buy it just to make it my office. So like if I was doing Zoom work, it was gonna be from inside a farm store

that's down the street from my house. Like your work office would be farm stores? Yeah, yeah, it'd be closed to the public, but it would be a farm store that I have taken over and made into a little mini studio for me. That's a stupid idea. No, it's a great idea, because this is what you could do.

You could have guests come through the drive-through. Who do we have today? Oh, it's Izzy Gutierrez, and he's in his car, and you just do the whole interview like that. The problem is I live in an elderly area, so they would not have respected my drive-through. They would not have respected my parking spaces that are there for my thing.

It's right next to a Sedanos, it would have been an entire disaster. But the point is, is I go out of my way to buy a Coca-Cola, so if I go to this one chain, right next to it there's a farm store, I buy a Coca-Cola, they sell it to you for like $6. It's like insane prices at farm stores, because they sell you the convenience

and the fact that it's cold. Billy, I am willing, okay, this makes me very uncomfortable to have negotiated with you that you now get Wild Willy Wednesdays and to have you now this growing confidence that makes it so that I want every local hour to feel like this.

And what I'm telling you is if right now we can make a deal of some sort where you find out for me what that Vaquita costs, I would like Metalarc to buy it. Like I need to stop you on behalf of Metalarc. Listen, listen, listen. And on behalf of Stewart or C. Listen, listen, listen.

Moneyo, whatever his job is. Listen, listen, listen. You gotta stop that. No, this is what I'm telling. This is what I'm telling you. What you just mentioned is such an integral part of my childhood. I don't believe these stores exist anywhere else. I am telling you. What you just mentioned is such an integral part of my childhood. I don't believe these stores exist anywhere else.

I loved so much. It seemed to me. Did they ever exist anywhere else? Look, I don't know, but when you said. I think the business model does, but not that chain. When I was growing up and, I don't know, do kids always know when they don't have money? Because my parents did a good job of sort of concealing it.

And so they tricked us and I didn't really know, but I knew that Pizza Hut wasn't a classy place, but it's the best we could do. Still wrong. And in that time in our life, I've got scared parents, totally scared, like they don't speak, they're in a different country and stuff. The height of luxury to me was,

you mean we can drive to La Vaquita and just they'll give you a gallon of milk and just put it in your car? Like that there, I don't believe that there are tiny drive-through grocery stores like this all over America. Maybe there are in small town America, I really don't know, but I've always thought of La Vaquita as something that only I've ever seen here, and I would love to buy one of those. And so what I'm telling you is- It's hard to get one. I'm telling you, one of them now is a florist. That's where I got my sunflowers from.

Do I have to? Well, no, I have to park and get down to get my sunflowers. I like to pick them. When I buy my sunflowers, everybody knows this about me. When I buy my sunflowers, I like to pick them out myself. We gotta find out what this costs. If Metal Arc Media can turn that into a Vaquita Studios for Billy Gill, like that is something that I would love

to do, God bless football, living out of La Vaquita. One on US1 by the way for me, if you wanna do that. Well, how many of these are there? Like I thought these were dead, I have never, I've never seen one again, I only saw them in my childhood and they were not luxury. I passed by one on Howendale. Okay, so.

Is it still open, like functioning as a farm store? I think so, yeah. Some are still functioning, others you can tell used to be, they used toandale. Okay, so. Is it still open, like functioning as a farm store? Yeah. Some are still functioning, others you can tell used to be, they used to be everywhere. But now you can tell this used to be a farm store, like a Pizza Hut, like you can tell what used to be a Pizza Hut because of the distinct shape of the roof.

And most of them kept that roof and just painted it a different color. Yeah, cause that was class. Like if you see, there's an IHOP by me that turned into a bank. And I was like was like yeah that used to be a bank. You know what a lot of banks are turning into now? I don't know if you guys have caught on to this and I don't understand what's going on.

Restaurants. Dispensaries. There's a lot of former banks that are dispensaries and someone told me it's because of the vault and that's why the dispensary goes and buys old banks because then they have the vault. It's also the same model of like you walk up to a teller and there's like a bunch of different people

that are serving you. You use vacuum? I've heard, so I've heard. Whoa, imagine using that as a bong. Jeremy, would you do me the favor please and just, I don't know how hard this is gonna be, but I'd like to know what one of those cost and I also would like to know,

no, what the vaquita near Billy's house, I wanna know what one of those costs, cause these are tiny pieces of real estate. It's the smallest grocery store you've ever seen. I've never seen them anywhere else, and so somebody please tell me if this is something that's all over the United States or something that is South Florida specific.

Why don't we just go to the one near you, Billy? You pull up at that farm stores and you just say to the guy Yo, what's this shit cost? It's boarded up. They close the hurricane shutters And I'm telling you it says close for remodeling reopening in 2014 and it has not reopened And then recently I've seen they've done like the exterior work Like you know when there's cracks on like the concrete outside or whatever you see like just a random patches there Something something's coming. Yeah, maybe they're prepping.

So, according to the Farm Store website, it costs anywhere between 230 and $571,000. That's quite the range. And $700. Well, sorry. It is quite the range. I'd like to find out though, not just how much it costs, Jeremy, please find for us how many of these there are,

not the tiny little ones that are drive-throughs because it's not something I've seen before or since, but it really did seem to a fat kid like, oh my God, this is heaven. This is at the doors of heaven. And panquano, all of a sudden you get in, you're like, oh, it's hot. But it's instantaneous.

You guys weren't complaining about, you sit at the bar because you want your food immediately. Wait, I don't have to park? I don't have to go inside? I don't have to, you're just gonna put the gallon of milk You're just gonna give it to my mom through the window this American place is great blew your mind blue young Dan Levitard's mom I loved it. I thought farm stores was so good I mean we were there every other night if we're in the car and we're out we pass by farm stores

We always eat something so we just pull up to the farm stores. Yo, I need an orange juice So what's the inside look like just a bunch of people running around? It's one person. It's one employee. You don't go in there. He goes and gets whatever he needs. It's like the smallest version of a gas station convenience store.

It's half a gas, it's a quarter of a gas station. Smallest version. The picture looked pretty big. It looked like a regular convenience store. I love Billy's Vakita Studios. All your dreams coming true near your house. In some, I would love to build studios over there. It's just, to be honest with you,

and we've found it somewhat in this studio too, I think you would agree, it limits our growth options. We build to what we are presently, but if I build a lot of Vaquita Studios, and then I have, I can't really branch out and have a second show or second studio in there, it's a little cramped,

there's no, you know, like office for like secretary. Well start small before you negotiate the next buildings. Well no, you need to think, you need a plan for growth. You know, that's why sometimes we can't get the penalty box because you know, Zaslow is in there, Izzy's in there having a meeting in the green room. You know what, it's funny that you should say that, right? Because we need to plan for

growth. So, funny thing happened on the way to the DraftKings money. Florida was going to get gambling, and you should have seen how big our next studio was going to be. But we're stuck in a parking garage because this is what Eleven is building and the Elster is building next to all this stuff, but then Florida lost the ability to have gambling. This thing was going to be a sprawling thing and instead we're all cramped in here, so start with La Vaquita. So you just start there and then you negotiate your way up. It's like the opposite of Lone Depot Park, which is cavernous because they plan for growth. And I went to the game last night, I saw the Padres play and I was like, I gotta see these Padres, I gotta see,

Tatis is his son, right? Also named Tatis. Yes, Tatis Junior Junior, right? And so I went and I'm like, let's see this, and I was staggered by just how big and empty this building is. You've never been there? I've been there before, but I don't think I ever,

I never sat in the seats, we went to a game where we were in the in the box in the box So it's a different experience, right? But sitting in the seats where I'm looking at a full row in front of me that's empty and I'm looking at whole sections It's empty and I was like wait the potters are good. This is a good game, right? This isn't like going to go see you know, one of the worst teams in the league It's a pretty good team that's from the West Coast or whatever. I thought there would be more people. They're like, oh, it's my one chance to see the Padres.

Well, but then the other thing I thought about is like, well, they built this thing with the idea that, you know, because this is around the same area of all these stadiums and arenas were like, no big, big, because one day we might have a thing that has like 40,000 people. Well, they built it with the idea that all those in the parking garage, like all those shops would be occupied. Yeah, the first floor of all the garages are like built with storefronts. There's nothing there.

There is a brewery that closed, and I'm telling you there's a urologist office in one of them and that's it. It's the only modern building I've seen that doesn't have a shit ton of bars and restaurants outside. Yeah. Like every single arena in the country that's not like 100 years old or whatever has like right outside all of these kind of like feeder establishments. Like Wrigleyville. Yeah they're just trying to grab hey all the people who are on the way you want to

stop up and get a beer you go you get a sandwich order, because there's crazy price in there, or you're leaving, you're going to linger and loiter around there, or- Yeah, instead we got Ball Bar. They closed that. Oh really? Yeah, Ball Bar closed a couple years ago. You'd think they could have one,

like I get it, maybe we don't have enough attendants to have a whole Wrigleyville, but like, we need one big bar that is like a good place to go before the game. It's houses. That's the thing is that it's- to go before the game. It's houses. That's the thing is that it's houses right there. It literally was a residential area that they put it in.

I think they like bought up like area around it. So it's not, if you want to go to Little Havana, there's 8th Street like down the street and that's where you kind of go to Little Havana. So it never really materialized. I've heard though, and I read somewhere that they're buying up like plots around there that I think they're gonna try to turn into something.

But I mean, we're like 13 years in at this point. Who's responsible for choosing that site? I wonder who would decide to do something. Who would have had such little foresight and to just select that of all places? Dan, any ideas? Don't make the mistakes I did, Billy. Let's figure out how to buy La Vaquita. How many of them are there Jeremy?

There are 60 total stores. There are 40 in Florida. We don't need 40. So where are the other 20? I would love MetalArk Media to one day be big enough to buy all of them. No Stuart, don't do it. Alabama, New York, New Jersey, Texas. Do I need to talk to Stuart?

If you talk to Stuart, he's going to have you taken into like a crazy room if you tell him this. I don't like to talk to Stuart.