The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The Stolen Cupcake Debacle of 2024

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

Today's cast: Dan, Stugotz, Chris, Jeremy, Jessica, Roy, and Tony. While we should probably start the show with the Heat loss to the 76ers in last night's play-in game, there is internal turmoil at Meadowlark Media that must be handled first: Valerie's cupcake was stolen, and it led to Dan's assistant yelling at Jessica. Dan asks questions, Jessica explains her role, Stugotz avoids blame, and Tony tries to solve the case...once it's already been solved. Then, we finally get to the Heat's loss to the Sixers while ignoring everything Jeremy has to say about the result. How much blame or credit does Tyler Herro deserve for the result? Can Nicolas Batum do this every once in a while? Were injuries to both stars really the biggest factor? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Six months, 82 games, and finally the postseason is here. First up, the SoFi NBA Play-In Tournament. For this, the rules are simple. Win to get in. Eight teams battle to earn their playoff spot in a win or go home style tournament that is bound to be full of highlights, excitement, and drama. There's no better way to set the tone for the playoffs than this.

So make sure you don't miss the action. Watch TNT's coverage of the SoFi NBA Play-In Tournament on April 16th and 19th on TNT, TruTV, and Max. We are all connected. Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at Cirque du Soleil.com. Echo thanks its presenting partner, Sunlife.

This is the Don LeBattor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I will get to the basketball in a second because it is super rare, StuGuts, for everyone in sports where you can argue about anything to have exactly the same analysis of a game And I believe I heard all of America and it echoed internationally over the oceans as well in the France

I believe everyone yesterday had the reaction of Nicholas Baton Playoff Nick, that's what that's what's gonna happen. You play exactly you get the Philadelphia 76ers to play exactly the game you need them to play. Turnover prone, get behind early, their crowd is booing them. Booing them early and booing Tobias Harris late, their home crowd and you get the inefficient games from Embiid and Maxey. Yep. And you get beat on offense and defense, and defense, by the only man on the court and the only man I've seen in basketball this year that looks physically to me old.

Like I'm so not used to, first of all, I'm surprised that he's only 35 years old. What? How? I'm surprised that he's only 30, put it on the poll please, Juju, are you surprised that Nicholas Batum is only 35 years old? I thought Michael Jordan gave him too much money

nine years ago and that he was going to retire in Charlotte. We'll get to all of that in a second, though, because we've got a genuine crisis on our hands here at both Metal Arch Media and our show. I don't know what to do as the leader of a company, I'm completely lost honestly, on the fact that we clearly have a theft problem around here.

Like people, employees are stealing things. It started with the fine bucket. Like that part, because we were so crazed in the move from the Clevelander and the move from ESPN, we really skipped past the giant betrayal of somebody reached into the fine bucket and stole all of the money. That could only have been an inside job. Right.

I feel like a lot of eyeballs are on me right now. Well, this was not the place I ended up yesterday because for all of your crimes generally you stay out of the food categories. You're right. You can you can be trusted to not steal food. Correct. It's about it. But what happened yesterday and we've had this happen before didn't somebody have like a sandwich or something that somebody took a bite out of that wasn't there Bruce oh yeah, that was Bruce Bruce took that sandwich and ate it our old video guy Okay, the guy who fell asleep during one ham hands. Yeah giant hands giant ham ham hands for ham

Imagine him a power slap damn he had what he's up to well. He'd be asleep He'd be asleep during power slap would asleep during power slap. He'd be asleep right now. He was always asleep. We'd walk into other rooms and he'd be asleep. But I'd like to explain the scandal that we have here and I'd like to go through the room and get reaction because we are presently, and I hope to have this before the end of the hour, we are presently rifling through security footage to find why it is that my assistant was enraged yesterday. Elise was enraged. It was a tiny, tiny little

bottle of rage where she was wandering around and there are going to be a lot of jokes at my expense here thinking of course Dan's assistant would be enraged that somebody stole his cupcakes. Like this is a bad, this crime looks bad for me. That my assistant would be so crazed about the fact that somebody had stolen cupcakes that she had clearly put aside. That's the job, Dan. Be enraged on your behalf.

Okay, but she, no, no. But she would not get. Be enraged on your behalf. Okay but she, no no, but she would not get enraged like this on my behalf and there would be no need to get enraged like this on my behalf. But the reason that she was enraged and the reason that I then got scared because nobody here has seen this side is those were my wife's cupcakes. And while my wife is an elegant, strong swan who nobody has a bad word to say about, go ahead and steal something from her. See what happens then, because yesterday

she was stomping around the house because a box of stuff that she'd ordered from Amazon came with one of the five items, because evidently now Amazon drivers, I would assume, are just going through stuff because there's just so much stuff going out and Amazon can lose so much of it that I'm assuming that some Amazon drivers are thieves and some of them just rifle through stuff when they want to on their last day on the job because they want to see what they can get away with. And so we often, this must happen to you guys as well, right? Do you often get packages that get the actual packages but they've been rifled through and there are things missing well rifled through no but i know amazon sometimes are like hey would you like to save the planet because we're doing it so much we'll put everything in one box or not we can just send everything in five different boxes but none of you have had this happen because it's happened multiple times to my wife. We have, genuinely, at both my home and now inside the boxes, a theft problem going on around deliveries.

And now that theft problem has absolutely moved in here because it appeared to be obvious. Do you guys know who did it? Because I left here not knowing who did it. I'm confused. Why are your wife's cupcakes here? Well, there were some vegan gluten-free cupcakes sent as yesterday's celebration, weird celebration, about a year and a week of us being at the Elser, an anniversary celebration. And I guess somebody told somebody that cakes and cupcakes were being brought in. And this is the other problem here, and I don't know how your significant others deal with what I'm about to say,

but when my wife knows that something at 11 a.m. is coming home at 3 p.m., the expectation of that, and she's excited about it, that better get home. Like whatever it is that thing is, needs to get home because now she's enthusiastic about it, and I do not wish, her disappointment is something I do not want. You're painting Valerie very intimidating.

She's really sweet, right? No, I just don't want to disappoint her. That's it, it's not even. You coming home is not enough, I mean. The wrath. Is you? No. Okay. I think I've want to disappoint her. That's it, it's not even. You coming home is not enough, I mean. The wrath. Is you? No. Okay.

I think I've got you beat there. I just want to point out something. Just to make sure I heard this correctly. So these cupcakes were for the anniversary of the show being in the hotel. Allegedly the year and one week anniversary because evidently we didn't get the date exactly right. And the cupcakes weren't for the staff,

they were for Valerie? There were an assortment of cakes and cupcakes here yesterday for everybody, and Elise had taken the vegan and gluten-free ones, and two of them, and put them aside, or three of them, and put them aside for Valerie. Two of them. I'm telling you, you just said a key word there,

gluten-free, I am a suspect. Uh-oh. Why are we deflecting from the heat losing last night's 76ers? This is more important. This is not more, people are here for heat tears in the YouTube comments, Dan. I think you're doing a disservice.

Also, it was me. I told Elise yesterday while she was looking for the cupcakes, it was me. There was no surprise that it was me. Well, it is a surprise to me. I did not know that, and you may have told Elise, but Elise had not yet informed me. Elise had not betrayed, I still came in here today

thinking there had been a crime that had been committed. Oh, there was. That was unsolved. I did not realize there had already been a confession because my assistant was enraged and stomping around here now Jess ate two cupcakes. I took two of them home. I have no I didn't look at the label. I didn't look at anything I just took two home. I took them to my wife. I mean They could have been I mean they could have been hers. I have no idea

Here's one of the issues that we have I don't know whether Jessica knew she was stealing these or not, but they were clearly put aside in a place where all the other cupcakes were someplace else, and Elise has a sitting area here where she had been for two and a half hours, and it was around Elise's stuff. Like it had been clearly put aside, and I've never seen Elise this angry about anything.

Well, same. She screamed at me. Like, in all seriousness,. She screamed at me. Like in all seriousness, your assistant screamed at me yesterday. And the reason that I thought they were for me was because my food, since I have a gluten allergy, my food is always set aside and is like the gluten free lunch order,

breakfast order, whatever. So these were set aside and they said gluten free. So I was like, oh, these ones are probably for me. So I ate one of them, went in the studio to record Mystery Crate. Taylor told me in my headset, Elise is mad because someone stole cupcakes, so I went out into the kitchen, as you can see there,

and I was like, it was me, I thought they were for me, because they said gluten free on them, and my gluten free whatever we order is usually set aside when we have a special cake or something, and then she screamed at me, and I didn't even get the chance to tell her, I only ate one of them, you coulda had the other cupcake, whatever we order is usually set aside when we have a special cake or something. And then she screamed at me, and I didn't even get the chance to tell her, I only ate one of them.

You coulda had the other cupcake, but since you screamed at me, I guess I'm just gonna go back in the studio now and finish Mystery Quiz. For the YouTube audience, we are getting an instant replay of Elise just pointing at the table and like, pointing in the other direction.

She is just, you can't hear her, but you can see how frustrated she is. It's hilarious. The other thing about this, you can't hear her, but you can see how frustrated she is, it's hilarious. The other thing about this, that spot where she usually sits is where deliveries go for all of us. So I can see where the confusion lies there. All right, you guys are good teammates. I'm with you, Dan, she stole.

I think she knew everything. I think she knew what she was doing. The difference between manslaughter and murder still ends with somebody being dead, whether your intent was good or not, and these were stolen cupcakes, whether you intended to steal them or not. One cupcake.

Forgive me. I only ate one. Okay, maybe your punishment will be less because it wasn't a quantity. Less than death? I think half as much. I don't know, I don't know. Daddy.

You guys tell me what punishment should be, should it be Less if if the theft is less of an item. It's half as much as you thought she was stealing, but she's still We have a terrified Billy reaction to the lead in the middle of chaos All right as our as our lead detective here I don't want to let Stu gots off the hook for a second though Oh because it's not who you always most you know most expect or least expected the person you most medium expect is the one That actually committed the crime and I think saying I could have done it

I have no idea and that's why I'm saying I want to pull in that thread a little bit more because Jess is the easy Culprit she's the gluten-free person so we have to have you know cupcakes and things specialty for her The thing is if she's claiming that she only ate half a cupcake, which is what we have here on display, in the evidence, oh, this is different cupcakes. These are different cupcakes, because as it turns out, there were actually like 12 gluten-free cupcakes.

There was a ton of them, right. So Elise could have brought home different cupcakes for your wife. The reason why I asked. I don't know why she didn't, Dan, because it turns out they were all gluten-free. Well, hers, hers. Including the one I ate

and the other 11 in the kitchen. But hers was stolen, and that's not up for dispute and you got a little base in your voice for being clearly a criminal. I admitted my quote unquote. I understood but in the courtroom, we're gonna need to make sure that you're not someone who is in contempt.

Because right now the contempt is mine and my wife's and my assistant's. I love Tony trying to figure out the case after Jess has said No, because okay, no, that's one cupcake. That's one cupcake of 12 six for her. That's right Yeah, the reason I still point it to gots is because two gots is notorious for kind of like a smash-and-grab Or he'll grab something close to the door Yeah, and then haul ass right so I think if we can paint a different scenario, Stu got Saul the cupcakes right by the door,

didn't see anybody by them, said, ooh, I need to take something to Abby, let me grab these real quick. In the same breath, Jess is out getting a different set of cupcakes, bringing those over to the center here, eating those, and then at least Saul her with those, not knowing that you actually stole the ones

that she had for Valerie. All right, put this on the poll please. Is the person you most medium expect the one who always committed the crime? And if you would, Chris, please get off the ground for me, for Metal Arch Media, the scripted series, televised series of Tony, the detective who solves the case after the confession has been made.

Two more things. So after your assistant screamed at me, I thought maybe these are like the rarest cupcakes in the world. So I Googled the bakery and it turns out they have same day delivery all over Miami-Dade County. So I thought maybe Dan will just order different cupcakes for his wife because I think he has $30 to spare,

because he usually has like $2,000 in his wallet, just in cash. Well, does it anymore, because he's got so many employees who are thieves. Then I thought, hmm, well, I feel bad, maybe I should text her, but she did just scream at me, so I'm just gonna let this one kinda go away for now. And then, of course, later on,

everyone was posting the video that we caught in Slack. And then, even later on, I saw Valerie's Instagram story, which said that she did eat a cupcake yesterday. Yeah, because I had to come home with cupcakes. Wow. So no harm, no foul. Everyone got their cupcakes. Was it a scream or a shout?

Because there's a difference there. Big difference. Chris, you were there. What would you describe it as? I think it was more of a shout. Because I think when you shout, you're just kind of frustrated in general. A scream is more directed.

Let's watch the tape. Well, hold on a second. What's the distinction between a scream and a shout? Which one is worse? I think a scream is worse because you're directing it specifically at someone. I'm screaming at you, where I'm shouting in frustration is a difference.

Because it's not as pointed as a scream might be. Roy, would you please look up for me the definition of scream and the definition of shout? We have more video being looked at. I don't know if we need the video anymore of whether or not Jessica, whether we can find intent in video of Jessica picking up the cupcake, but we do have video, I am told now, of

Jessica learning at the moment that she learned while doing Mystery Crate. Just before I play this, take me through Jessica, how it is the news is arriving, like what it is that you're feeling at this moment right before we play whatever this video is. I'm just on my phone reading my messages and then Taylor, who was in the control room, heard a commotion in the kitchen and then radioed me in my headset and said, Elise is screaming because someone ate her cupcakes.

Wow. All right, let's play. This is my live reaction. All right, live, let's see this live reaction to Elise is screaming in the other room. There's no audio on this, so it's gonna be hard to listen to.

Okay, so it's, oh, but there's her face. Okay, there's her horrified, she's looking around like she's guilty. She couldn't look more guilty. I literally admitted I didn't. There is no question that I ate the cupcake. Not letting you off the hooks, too. You know who's the most guilty though?

I'm not letting myself off the hook. The most guilty person is Chris Cody, because the entire time Elise was looking off the hooks, too. You know who's the most guilty though? I'm not letting myself off the hook. The most guilty person is Chris Cody, because the entire time Elise was looking for the cupcakes, all you could hear is Chris Cody saying, who stole the cupcakes? Who stole the cupcakes? I mean, it's such a ridiculous thing. I was like, are we really upset about this?

It is ridiculous, but I can speak on behalf of Chris Cody here, and I'm not sure a lot of other people can do this one. When food has been stolen, the heavy set people in the room get a little more self-conscious than everybody else. When I'm safe, I'm like, yeah, not me for once. Six months, 82 games, and finally the postseason is here. First up, the SoFi NBA play-In tournament. For this, the rules are simple, when to get in. Eight teams battle to earn their playoff spot in a win or go home style tournament that is bound to be full of highlights, excitement, and drama. There's no better way to set the tone for the playoffs than this.

So make sure you don't miss the action. Watch TNT's coverage of the SoFi NBA Play-In tournament on April 16th and 19th on TNT, TruTV, and Max. Hey listening audience, it's Mike Ryan, and you're a sports fan if you're listening to this show, well that's up for debate. You may not know this, but Game Time is now an authorized ticket marketplace of Major League Baseball, which makes getting tickets even faster and easier.

Prices on the Game Time app actually go down the closer it gets to first pitch, with killer last minute deals, all in prices, views from your seat, that's key, and their low price guarantee. Game Time takes the guesswork out of buying MLB tickets. I was actually in Baltimore last season, always wanted to check out that ballpark, and I actually went to the Game Time app to actually see exactly what I was dealing with and on top of that I got a killer deal. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time.

Download the Game Time app, create an account and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply, again create an account and redeem code D-A-N for $20 off. Download the Game Time app today. Last minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. Don Lebatard. Did someone say conservative entity? Whoa! No! Oh, see, this is why.

Stugatz. Hers is better than mine. In the fifth Seagacki. How is the fifth Seagacki better than the third and the fourth Seagacki already? This is the Don Lebatard better than the third and the fourth Seagaki already? This is the Don LeBathard Show with the StuGards. ["Street Women's Wives"] All right, we got definitions here.

Shout, utter, a loud cry or call, typically as an expression of strong emotion. Scream, give a long loud Pearson cry or cry expression excitement, great emotion emotion or pain hmm big difference. No it sounds like scream is worse Scream and shout You know it takes a while for that part to get out right yeah, yeah Nick platoon played with Greg Odin what and to get out, right? Yeah, yeah it does.

Nick Batum played with Greg Odin. What? And Brandon Roy. Thank you. Can we talk about the Heat game now? I really need to talk about it. No, I really like this conversation we were having. I think it should go on for at least seven more minutes.

Who saw the Nick Batum game coming? We'll talk about that in a second. For the moment, as we sort out your punishment, Jessica, go sit in the penalty box for a couple of minutes for thievery. For telling the truth. She took one cupcake bill, so it should be a minute. It's not for telling the truth.

For being yelled at by your assistant? It is not for, you know, it's for stealing something. Let's be clear on this, because there seems to be a lack of clarity here. This is a universal crime that we are now deciding the punishment to. This is not the punishment to Minnitz. She's being thrown in the Huss Gau so that we can sort out what the punishment, two minutes. She's being thrown in the Huskow

so that we can sort out what the punishment should be for what I believe should be a lifetime type of John T. Porter type of crime, which is the greatest crime there is around here, is there is no greater crime around here than stealing food from my wife. I just, I want it as a, wherever it is the Metal Arc

handbook exists where we start writing the rules as we learn where rules are needed. If you steal food from my wife, that's the greatest crime. I have some rules as well though, and one of them is if it was food for Valerie. Now I love Valerie, okay? But know what, first off, none of those cupcake trays had her name on it, and secondly, no one announced to the group,

hey, there are six over here and those are for Valerie. Those are for Dan's wife. Because had she said that, Dan, I gotta be honest, no one would have taken her cupcakes. Who's gonna do that? Agreed, well, Bruce. Well, true, yeah. And I do- If he's not sleeping.

I do believe, though, based on, because you guys are leaving out some important context, and these things are always important in criminal trials, like the details, the facts, the context. There is one place my assistant sits with all of her stuff. It's a shared space though. It was clearly in the space where my assistant was. Now Jessica and her legal help are saying correctly

that she is saying that that's where her food gets set aside as well. So that again, but still criminal behavior. That there's an explanation for the criminal behavior does not change that it is theft. To me this feels like a bad labeling job. I feel like your assistant deserves a little blame here. Like a 20% maybe, she could have made a note.

I feel like if there's a note that says do not touch, Jessica doesn't touch it. Yeah, but that's, it's fair, but this is the part that you guys don't seem to understand. In general, everyone who comes in here and sees the way that our life is thinks you all are Wolverines and

Wolverines don't pay attention to notes because there have been sandwiches and other things here and money Money in a piggy bank that I didn't have to put a note on saying hey don't steal this This is money in a place where maybe you usually find money a piggy bank, but it's not money for you This is stolen money. Seems like we're getting mad at Jess for a different crime though. I think this frustration around the theft and the stealing is really more about the piggy bank and not about the cupcakes. What I'm mad about ultimately is we clearly have people around here who cannot be trusted and once you steal from the piggy bank, everything

becomes incriminating even if you have a good explanation because we've got a group of people we work with that we don't trust. Who was the name of the player who like stole Derek Jeter's glove? Some sort of Yankee prospect that did the single dumbest thing an athlete has done until he was topped by John T Porter. It was Ruben, was it Ruben Rivera? I'm looking it up. Is that Ruben Sierra?

No, no, no, he's right. Ruben Rivera. Ruben Sierra would not have to steal anybody's glove. Ruben Sierra, for those of you who do not know, had a hit salsa album on top of being a muscular DH and he did not need anybody's money, gloves or merchandise. If he wanted your glove, he'd just take your glove. That's correct. Right in front of your face. Put it on the pole please, Juju.

If Ruben Sierra wanted your glove, would he just take it from the shortstop while he was playing shortstop? They said that Ruben Rivera, a lawyer speaking on condition of anonymity, anemone, said that Rivera took the equipment from Jeter's locker and sold it to a sports memorabilia agent. How'd he play? Scared Billy finders keepers Unfortunately while Jessica was away we didn't discuss in any way what her punishment should be

What the larger punishment should be going forward since we didn't have a rule in place as this happened going forward for anyone who steals my wife's food But Stu got the we were denied last night. Sometimes the playoffs start and Like last season if you have a team in the race you feel Like you're gonna be eating ice cream for two months and not lactose intolerant dairy ice cream. Like, you're gonna have a good experience eating ice cream. And sometimes you feel like your playoff experience

is just gonna be the flavor of feces. And that's what last night was. Where it's not just that Batum killed you. When you get exactly the game you needed from Philadelphia that was gonna set up the perfect story. I don't wanna watch Miami-Boston again. I wanted to set up the perfect story i want to watch my boston again i wanted to watch miami new york might be chicago boston the correct it might be because jimmy butler you will have the footage now go

ahead and put up the footage of jimmy butler uh... limping out of the arena last night i thought duncan robinson was available last night i was really frustrated just watching that their only offense is just gonna be Tyler Hero shooting 33% because once Jimmy got hurt, and by the way, got hurt after having five steals. Like had five steals. He had some good steals after the injury too.

Yeah, but that fifth steal, the one where he had the layup, that's where he seemed to really hurt his knee again after the first injury. He was struggling. Yeah, he was struggling. He was really laboring out there, and you knew once he went in for half time and had to sit for a minute,

there was no way he was gonna come back. But for all the load management that has wrecked the interest in the regular season, you haven't gotten to the playoffs yet, and you got Butler and Beede and Giannis already done, like already lessened, not done. And Zion too. Yeah, already.

You haven't even gotten to the off part of the playoffs. You're still in the in part. And Giannis off the court. And Bede probably shouldn't even be playing last night. Wouldn't have been playing, I don't think if it's a regular season game. He was great in the second half though. I mean he was. He was. For a guy that's hurt. 23 and 15. There were two guys hurt late and one of them won the game and one of them didn't and Bede made the passes and did the things but he was not the MVP

of the league last night. That was a diminished, that's as bad as he's gonna play. Nick Batum was. Did we decide if it was a scream or a shout? Did we do that? All eyes on us. I wanna scream and shout and let it. That timing, comedically perfect by you, Chris Cody. Order up for Damien.

Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about rubellsus? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that's... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca

Order up for Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Don Lebatard. I mean they used to call me Chris Karaoke. Stugatz. Oh, geez. That back row is bringing it today. This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugatz.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats. Can I put the Nicholas Betoom game in a little perspective for us? Sure. Can you guys guess how many points he averaged this season? Oh no, they said it there on the broadcast. Five points he averaged. You know how many times this season he scored double digits? How many? Guess.

82 games. If he's averaging five a game, he wasn't even playing that much. In fact, listen, you didn't just lose last night to Philadelphia, you lost to Philadelphia playing Kyle Lowry, Batum, and Kelly Oubre. Seven times he scored double digits. And another fun Batum stat, which is great,

is 20 points in that game. The last time he scored 20 or more points, eight years ago, against the Miami Heat in game one of the playoffs for Charlotte. I just want to reiterate one little thing. He averaged five points. He hit six threes last night! He's capable of that, he is.

You left out Buddy Heal. Not for eight years though. He hasn't done it in eight years. I did leave out Buddy Heal. These are all players Stu gots discovered were still in the league last night. Are you guys aware? Well, Healed I thought was with Sacramento. Batum I thought he retired like seven years ago. Well, you stopped paying attention to Batum two teams ago. I think Healed had another

stop in Indiana. Healed was in Indiana for three years. He was? Three stop in Indiana. Heald was in Indiana for three years. He was? Three years. Wow. But the best Heald stat is this one. Are you guys aware that yesterday was Buddy Heald's 85th game of the season?

It was his 85th game of the season. Because of being traded, he played extra games. He went into that game having played 84 games. I don't think anyone's ever done that before. I don't think that that's happened before, even with all the trades in the league. And yes. There should be like a most games played award

at the end of the season. Well, he would. Perfect attendance. He got it, right. But for all of that, for all of the load management and everything else, you've still now got injury problems that make the East a Lot easier for Boston you had to miss Lowry if you're a heat fan. I mean, that's what he does that first quarter It's like okay that this is your answer for Jimmy. You're gonna put Lowry on him

We're I didn't do anything last game. The thing is Anything's to you look at the box score and you don't see a lot of stats But you know what you can't measure a man's heart and championship pedigree. You know what? I saw a lot of That's all little air balls from him and he was plus one. I mean it's to God. Did you watch the game last? I did they won by one. He was plus one Listen he gets in people's way he plays defense he hustles he makes countless winning plays I'm telling you the they heat regret it. If they had Larry on their team last night, they win.

But there was Terry. They did have him on the court in that final possession and he did almost blow it. And he finally got the ball out. They're moving on. Speaking of blowing it, it's a tie game on the road you have to have. How about not a half court violation?

Well, that was a foul. That was a foul. It just blatantly was a foul. That was a foul. It just blatantly was a foul. Please, please. Nick Pattoon pushed him. Like it is what it is. Tyler Hero didn't play well for the majority of that game. He was playing well in the final few minutes of that game.

That possession was poorly executed, but it just blatantly obvious, and it's gonna come out on the two minute report, oh sorry we messed up, it was a foul, and there's nothing you can do now. You had the ball tied with him in the left. But in a one-point game we can do this about a number of things and one of the things we could do It about it. You know how infrequently the Heat lose at not making their free throws. They lose by one last night They didn't make their free throws the way they beat you is they don't turn the ball over they steal it

They drag the game into an unpleasant watch so it doesn't feel anything like Chicago and Atlanta. They're ruining offensive basketball aggressively by playing fundamentally well, and when they get their free throws, they make them better than you, except last night when they did not. Two things, Tyler Hero sell the flop. Second thing, maybe learn how to flop from Embiid

after this free throw, because I don't know what happened here. He fell awkwardly in the broadcast. They just blew by it. Embiid flops as much as anyone in the league. I don't know. Blake Griffin retired yesterday, and he had that reputation for a long time,

and James Harden had it for a long time. He learned it from him too. Embiid on a technical free throw, though, falling to his knees because... The rare flop. You know what it is, is when you let that thing go you feel like it's a little shorter a little longer. Please, please go, okay I want it. Real Hoopers now. You will it in, yeah. Exactly right. I mean people surprise Batum can have that game or had that game last night, I'm sorry. Like Batum is

capable of having that game. He hasn't had it in eight years. I don't care. For eight years, Steve. Real Hoopers know. He's right about that. Nicholas Pattoom can put up that game at any given moment. Not in the last eight years. At any given moment. Again though, but in all of the given moments in the last eight years. He hasn't done it, but last night he did. He saved it.

Not one time. He could have done it, but he didn't do it, but he could have done it. Right. Sean says that Jimmy Butler is expected to be out multiple weeks for the MCO interview. I have a top five reasons the Heat lost, if you guys want that. Really?

Do not. Thanks, Dan. The refs didn't call him out. Why am I here? Aren't I here to talk about the Heat? Isn't that why I was hired? What am I here for? Go sit in the penalty box.

Top five. You had to do that. Literally, I here for? I don't know. Go sit in the penalty box. Top five. You had to do that. Literally I'm the only one who knows. Yeah, you're the only one who knows? Go ahead and put up that tweet of all that Jeremy- Ultimately I was gonna be right. Get out!

I was gonna be right. Don't use another microphone! He was gonna be right. I let you down there. Dan, I should have stopped him from using his microphone. Yes you should have. I'm sorry. You have a sick form of justice.

Sick application of justice. You know what would have never happened if we had a regular office and not an open concept? I would have never thought those cupcakes were for everyone because they would have been in Elise's desk in her cubicle. And instead they were just in the middle of the office on a table.

Fair. Go sit in the penalty box. Oh man. Criminal. You know what I should do to you? Go sit in the penalty box, cupcake. Oh! Do you work for the Indy Star?

That thing. We'll get to Greg Doyle in a second. Jeez. Greg Doyle of the Indianapolis Star started the press conference in the welcome of Caitlin Clark, kind of the way thatapolis Stars started the press conference in the welcome of Caitlin Clark, kind of the way that he'd started the postseason. Just the worst possible way.

But let me read Jeremy Tashay. Am I not here for my heat analysis? He writes before the game, Tyler Hero is going to do the thing this postseason. I could feel it in my bones and how poetic that would be. He did the thing, all right. He was not terrible last night. What?

Nine of 27. Nine of 27. He hit some shots down the strap. He asked a lot of him late. I just think, I'm not, yes, he was inefficient slightly, but I'm not gonna criticize Tyler Hero. It's not slightly inefficient, Chris. The modern age of basketball.

Kobe White scoring 42 last night is impressive. More impressive is doing it on 15 for 21 and doing it efficiently. There are some De'Jonte Murray got 44 points earlier this season on 44 shots. That's not a good game. It's just simply any coach in the league or assistant coach in the league will say that if you hold a guy to a point per shot, you have done your job defensively.

And Tyler Hero last night had more shots than points. That is not, that he can get 27 shots and miss two thirds of them is not a good basketball game. I'm just saying, I don't think he's the reason to criticize the Heat. Jimmy got hurt and if Jimmy's not hurt that game's different. Tyler played well in that fourth quarter. I'm not going to argue, you can't argue he was efficient. He hit a couple shots. He was clutch late in that game. I'm not going to criticize him.

He hit some shots. I could criticize Bam more than him. But also handling the ball, he was all over the place. Getting around screens, he he couldn't like there was a moment where Nick Patum was on him like a glove Oh, no, you couldn't get around Nick Patum who's played 9,000 years in the NBA He said he could get around Nick but you get around it. I was cream. That's it. What he did say that We're gonna let that guy talk about it that guy buddy. I haven't seen you touch a basketball in 15 years Get out of here. See how we do basketball analysis really That's it. You said you got hired here to talk heat basketball. Yes kicked you out

Yeah, because that's become the bit of the show. Let's make fun of Jeremy for everything He says that's the bit huh? Go ahead and sit Go again, please. Thank you Anyways, long story short is that if you're gonna play point guard you have to control the ball and you have to play well Handling the ball there was no other point guard for the Miami Heat. That was it was Tyler And then he had to also put up shots It's an impossible spot for him to try and do something but also he played kind of like a whatever game I do agree that we've learned what Tyler is. He's not he's below top maxi like he's not an elite star Chris

You're right He hit some big shots down the stretch of the game last night when they needed them because Jimmy Butler was I'm just not blaming Him for that loss is what I'm saying. We can sit here after they lose by a point and Criticize whatever it is that you want they lost by a point what I'm telling you is They lost by a point. What I'm telling you is they went on the road to play a game that would have made their path easier and they lost it when defensively they got Philadelphia to play exactly the game they needed them to play.

Philadelphia was terrible in that first half. Turning the ball over again and again, Embiid being hurt, I'm telling you, I've watched Embiid a lot over the last four seasons. It's rare even now for me to watch a LeBron game, for example, and see the age on him. I could see it on defense, I could see it sometimes how he moves in terms of lumbering,

but it can still be hard to discern age even on the oldest player in the league. It was not hard to discern injury on this. The MVP of the league was limited yesterday. The MVP of the league who has a distinct advantage over Bam that very few have, maybe Jokic, very few have, did not take Bam into the post and abuse him, did not take bam into the post and abuse him did not take advantage of the foul trouble that bam was in got himself into foul trouble that was not one of the best players in the league last night at the end of the game he had the stat line but that's not how Joel Embiid plays it's the game you need him

to play when you're gonna eliminate him from the playoffs. I think actually the way Embiid had to play last night because of being limited He was at the top of the key a lot it brought BAM out. It actually hurt the heat it opened things up They were driving kicking stuff out like I think that actually Ners made that adjustment at half he did he talked about it after the game I know I understand the adjustment but the heat will tell you fine with your adjustment someone other than in beat is going to be does go ahead Nicholas but to go ahead we'll take our chances with someone other than maxi or in beat and it's what happened like yes you are you're absolutely right pulling bam out of the key getting him

into foul trouble bam was not effective last night and he deserves more criticism than Tyler hero because he's the centerpiece of everything they do defensively but they were good defensively last night and of course Nick Nurse is gonna have to make adjustments and if Embiid and Maxie don't beat you if I tell you before that game Here's the Heat's game plan and Embiid and Maxie are not gonna be what beats them You're like, okay, sign me up. I'm the biggest underdog in all the playing games the eve when you know delphi's one eight straight they look great when imbib looks healthy

they look great they look like somebody who could actually challenge boston even though they've had no success against boston but not with him limping around not with him clearly diminish that's what we're going to start the playoffs with that team and the other thing that you had you had an emotionally franchise an emotionally fragile franchise ready to fold for you their crowd was boonin them in the first quarter they've won eight straight that's the part that's just maddening so blame everybody go ahead blame everybody