The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: They're Having More Fun Than We Are

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

Dan Le Batard, for the first time in his adult life, is jealous of a group of people spending they're time at Super Bowl Radio Row. Dan laments how much more fun our Super Bowl crew is having than we are... but is it his own fault for always wanting serious topics? Then, we finally discuss University of Miami Men's Basketball after their worst scoring game in 40 years, the right wing tries to emasculate Travis Kelce, and Dan wants the left to take back the term "soy boy." Plus, Tony shows up to the show 30 minutes late and Mike Ryan experiences existential dread. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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The Dan LeBatard Show with Stugots is presented by DeGiorno. It's not delivery, it's DeGiorno. This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stugots Podcast. We're presented by Draft King Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app today and use code DAN for a special offer when you sign up. That's code DAN, only at Draft King Sportsbook. I have an uncomfortable admission to make Roy is dressed as Jimmy Butler today

as one of his punishments. It is a good punishment. I laugh every time any broadcast has to bring up a picture of Jimmy Butler and it's always the media day photo of him with the ridiculous hair. I can't believe somebody didn't think of that before he thought of that to just disrupt the whole process. But here's my uncomfortable admission and I feel like a giant hypocrite. I'm going to arm the right here with the thing that they love. No. The thing they love.

No. I'm gonna be a useful idiot for the right by calling out my own hypocrisy on something. Because, man, in these arguments, we love to point out when someone's a hypocrite. And for 20 years, I've been a fraud on this. And I didn't even realize it until yesterday. That's a hard look in the mirror. All of us are genuinely uncomfortable where this is headed.

I was jealous of them already being at the Super Bowl. For 20 years I've said I don't wanna be there, I never wanna go, get it away from me, it's a commercial event, and then I see John Taffer. Oh my God. Oh, that changes things, but yeah. I see Stugant sitting down with John Taffer and he doesn't know who Taffer is.

He doesn't know how to interview him, but he's having a great time, because Taffer's around, as you are want to do. And we're stuck here in Miami. Wow. We get Pablo. We get Pablo comes down and makes the show all serious. And in one hour yesterday I'm

watching their show and I'm looking at how much more fun they're having than us, the responsible kids, the kids who want to talk about fight the good fight on divisiveness and they're up there saying get me OJ Simpson for God bless football. And then they're calling me a soy boy because I'm having conversations about platforming. You can't platform a murderer. I'm the idiot for saying how dare they platform a murderer. That makes me bad. Wait, they got OJ too?

No, they wanna get OJ. I was about to say, come on, guys. Doesn't he still live in Vegas? He has to, he can't leave. If he leaves. Well, because he's afraid he might run into the killer. Much like OJ Simpson, I object to how I've been characterized here today.

You make the show too serious. I talked about Amin sucking his own **** yesterday. Yeah, but you tried to- that was you trying to be cool upon entry and- That was just describing the yoga pose Amin was doing. And what I don't like furthermore is that I was listening to the main show, this show yesterday, and the Super Bowl crew in Vegas is actively making fun of us. Well, because they're having more fun than we are. They made fun of us?

Yeah, but why wouldn't they? They're in a giant, empty convention hall. They had radio rode to themselves. There was nobody even there yesterday. They just ran the place. They bought some producers espresso and they were running the Super Bowl for a day. And what are we here doing? What were we doing?

We were talking about taking movies. That's not bad. Hold on. Now we're back. I enjoyed yesterday's show. That's a point back on our side. Hold on. That's what we usually do.

Can't look at Roy, man. Mike Ryan has been desperate for a month Point back on our side, hold on. That's what we usually do. Mike Ryan has been desperate for a month to talk about Hurricane Hoops. Jeremy has been desperate for a month to make fun of Mike Ryan's Blue Blood. Formerly Final Four basketball team. I'm not really understanding what happened to this basketball team.

I did not think Isaiah Wong was that important. I think Jordan Miller was probably the more important piece because he allowed them to do some different things defensively. So I appreciate you finally giving me the opportunity to talk about the University of Miami's men's basketball team on a day following a 38-point performance.

That's typically how it goes here, whenever I'm afforded the opportunity to talk about the Canes. But it's been a very strange year. They've been all hurt. Every single member of that starting five has gone in and out of the lineup, but I think it goes beyond that. They've been very sloppy with the ball. The turnovers have been insane from this team.

And if I told you that Norch had a mirror would have developed his offensive game this much, 33 points in a game by himself earlier this year. They scored 38, Mike, yesterday. He's improved all the aspects of the game that you wanted. He's got better touch from the outside, better ball handling. I think one issue, if I could pretend to be a better coach than Coach L is, I think the issue, one of the issues on offense is he's not touching the ball enough. He's probably the only person in that starting five that can take people off the dribble.

He's their best player. I have the crazy notion that maybe one of the best players in program history should be touching the ball every time down the court. They are so sloppy and the only way this team gets into the tournament is by winning the ACC tournament and it's not what I expected once a year got started too, because they were looking good. They've progressively gotten worse and worse week after week. I mean, can you please explain to me how it is that a University of Miami basketball team in 2024

is scoring fewer points in a game than any UM team in 40 years? They're not good. Well, Virginia is the answer to that. Virginia will do something like that. Not often that. They've won 22 straight at home. They've really turned the corner after a sloppy start to the season.

Virginia's probably gonna be the third ACC team to make the tournament. I hate that style of basketball so much. Everyone does. Virginia traditionally plays extremely slow. They've always been under coach Bennett, right? Yeah, Tony Bennett. There is a player yesterday that would have helped.

He started the game. George got hurt early on. He's one of the few playmakers with the ball. I think another byproduct of trying to develop him because he's got NBA prospects, no doubt. Is it going through some growing pains? Because occasionally he'll be a bit of a vacuum on offense, it's either turnover or he'll make something happen and it's just been it's just been a real struggle and hopefully they can keep some of these

recruits because they have someone that is being touted as potentially a future number one overall NBA pick coming into this team next season. Jeremy, you've been enjoying Mike's suffering. It has been singular because he went, Mike Ryan, who can carry himself with a bit of ego, had a Final Four program in basketball, was calling himself a blue blood, and blue bloods repeated year after year,

and they were primed to repeat it. You build off of that success. You grab the final four national champions. Well you just get the momentum of, I mean you had most of the team come back. Well they made a mistake. There were some people on the portal that your boy was trying to push on them. They said no we're good. Who's that guy? Wait a minute. Is that Trucker Booster? I like that one a lot. People that were pushing in the portal and the staff was like, look Mike you don't know ball we do and then that a person sound like a top transfer in the 810. That's I think you should boost now I want to hear from this character more often Which is don't come at me telling me you know me more ball than me and then play Casey behind north-haddle mirrors

Just why does it like sound like a fry cook who works next to Roy's cook? It's please let Jeremy drag me even though the best one of the season appears to be over UCF. I like the creation of this character because it's Mike as journalist, information guy, and if in only that voice, he'll give you even more information than he's comfortable giving you because... I've been already said too much! ...like squeezing it out. The constipation. He might want all of it though. Because All of the ways that you would have had them be a

Get a get a squatty potty dude Mike so what they said we don't need them we got all we need you said No, he's already said too much is what it is. Oh, he said too much. He doesn't want, no. He's about to say, are you sure about that? Are you sure about that? Because, you guys put it up 23 and 13 regularly. The opportunity, I believe, Mike saw there

as a person who cares about that program and has invested monetarily in its success is That Mike Ryan saw what an enormous opportunity It is to get to the final four and then springboard to you stay around there forever Like if if you've got the amount of money to spend on the right players and make the right decisions And your core came back because they had a team that core is like that this can't be question Yeah, the core that they had last year that came back, that should be a tournament team.

Should be, should be, and I don't want to forget, we should absolutely give Jeremy the opportunity to drag this program, but, yeah, Zay could have been back, could have been back, and he decided to go pro, and that turned out to be immense, and you thought you had pieces in Cleveland replacing Jordan Miller. That you would think that that's a push. It's not.

It's not. Benzley Joseph being more involved is not an upgrade over Zay Wong. They, and Wuga Poplar. Yeah, hasn't been what he was supposed to be. Now, granted, he's been battling an ankle injury all season long, but there just hasn't been the development that you anticipated

and what they showed at the beginning of the year. Again, I cannot believe that they are here with Norchad taking the leap in his offensive game that he needed to. So, like a month ago, maybe, or a month and a half ago, I did this thing where players in college basketball with funny names, and one of them was Ugo Poplar, and the joke I made was, Ugo be there, all the Poplar kids.

Oh, it was- His name is Wuga. It's with the W, yes. It's not, it's O-O-G-A. It's- How it's pronounced. It's with a W-O-O. It's spelled.

Is this a, no, no, no, no. Are you helping us out with? There's no place for the Keynes. Like Ric Flair. You're the first person I've heard pronounce Uga Poplar's name that way, just Uga. It was. Roy's parted his bangs, he's gonna look this up for us.

Well, the W joke that's got snuck in there, Jeremy has not had enough windows to make fun of Mike and the University of Miami, but you would be excused for thinking that the Uga, given what they've done this year, it doesn't come with a W because they're not winning because he was supposed to be their best player and he has not been. Unfortunately for me, the one really good W they have is over my program, UCF.

But UCF, look, first year in the Big 12 and they've got wins over Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas. If we're talking blue blood programs in the state of Florida, I mean, come on. Look where you're headed. It's such a golden business opportunity to make the Final Four, though. You have to parlay it into something. The wheels can't fall off it after that. Not if you're in the money game now for spending wins.

I'm sorry. So speaking of things that we clearly don't know the meanings of, Dan talked about soy boys before. I don't know what a soy boy is. People keep calling me a soy boy, and I don't know what a soy boy is. I don't have any earthly idea. Is that a sodium joke and I don't know what a soy boy is I don't have any earthly that a sodium joke I don't I mean that would be on the mark if it were I would willingly accept soy boy is a term that I

actually am if you tell me it's sodium boy do we have to like do the cliff notes on how Dan is being insulted by like I don't know what soy boy means can anyone help me please with this? I was a means computer Thankfully there are far more embarrassing pop-ups that I mean computer generally does relax relax Historically speaking a soy boy. I believe if I'm gonna like do the cliff notes on this is a reference to how libs drink Like soy milk. Yeah, that's right. I'm I can the cliff notes on this, is a reference to how libs drink soy milk? Yeah, that's right. I can't have soy milk.

I have to do oat milk, and now that's bad for my gut too. Oat milk's out too? Yeah, now I gotta find another one. I can't do soy, I can't do oat, I can't do almond, I can't do P protein. Sounds like you can't do oat milk. Can you do regular milk? I don't know.

No, I can't do that either. We haven't crossed that one. It's also more about how us libs eat tofu, not how we drink soy milk. I like the idea that Mike had, which is like the film noir of it all. That could actually drink regular milk. But it's bad to have soy now? That's what it's bad for? Well, I mean, they process all those foods. No, we're weak. A lot of soy.

They make you... That and the vaccine, they control your mind. There is a little irony, I guess, now to think about the other linguistic possibilities here that in Spanish it means I am boy, which is in defiance of lots of lib things about gender being a construct. It could be my Spanish platform. Soyboy, you've assigned me pronouns now, thank you.

That's my gender, yes, soy, I am boy. Who are the compliment, you nailed it, soyboy. And you got it right. That is in Spanish, that is a compliment. Let's take our terms back. The Dan and Lebatar show with Stugots is sponsored by BetterHelp. Imagine a person who values their relationships with someone deeply. They might have encountered challenges in communication, understanding, or differing perspectives over time. A common misconception about relationships is that they have to be easy to be right.

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of Fans Hearts. Let me have this serious conversation with you guys because I found it funny. I heard Craig Carton, who I've told you, it makes me uncomfortable that he has made a comeback in this industry, as someone who has a felony in prison time on his resume. That's Dusty Rhodes. And that's where we are now. And on the way in today, I heard him talking to a bunch of other guys and doing guy talk on Fox

that's being rewarded. And one of the things he said very casually is, and maybe Jason Kelsey will retire and then be totally emasculated and follow her around on tour all the time. Travis Kelsey, if it's Jason, we got a story. I'm sorry. Well, they both could. I guess. I'm sorry.

One's more likely to retire in reality than the other. I'm sorry. Yes, that is a fine. Travis Kelsey. But I just thought it was interesting. Like, why would you call that emasculating? To give up your career and go have fun doing podcasting and not hurting your body? Like the, the, the, the, I- Well, I think it's, it comes down to her age and her hip size and how many children can she have at this age?

Heterosexual relationships are gay now, Dan. Yeah. That was a GOP spin on, on Travis Shirley. Travis Kelsey wants to be with a mid 30s billionaire Travis Kelsey wants to be a full country music star, dating a white football player. Pretty gay. Do you understand my confusion or not? On Soyboy, totally.

On retiring and traveling around seeing your billionaire pop star, pop star significant I would love to do that. You're trying to bait me into doing the thing you made fun of me for doing That I didn't really do yesterday, which is point out some larger sociological phenomenon that's happening Which is that actually like the far right is basically campaigning not just against Taylor Swift, but against football itself now We're like these jocks are like actually They're not real men guys you know the things that we have held up for all time as the manliest men are no longer real men because they're all soy boys now I mean they are emboldened by the success of taking down domestic light loggers so they're like why not

let's heat check let's take down the NFL. We kind of did it once already. And all they got to counteract it was back at the end zone stencils. So let's let's get the football. Let's let's sell that into the end zone. Let's let's get the jump on Taylor Swift and the NFL. And you guys think of it and laugh for your immune to it because I think it's the greatest political cell phone in American history. The idea that the far right, this movement has actually been influenced by these influencers who are saying to you that the NFL itself is a Psyop, is one of the funniest moves in political history.

It was literally their last bastion of entertainment. They've already disavowed Hollywood, they disavowed music, they disavowed everything. Now they're disavowing football. For the second time by the way. They disavowed basketball. Like what's left for them? What do these people do for fun?

Did they watch themselves play poorly in sports? But are you guys just bemused by it? Because the Taylor Swift machine has totally overtaken and shaken the man cave. And it's great. It's funny. It's wonderful. It's silly.

It's a Disney princess and Travis Kelsey somehow being in a relationship where he doesn't get to be the most powerful thing and Craig Carton can tell him, you're emasculated if you follow her. And I'm just legitimately curious if where in emasculation you see following a woman is a bad thing. Like I think Dwayne Wade would tell you in the relationship he's in, the woman that's in it is stronger than he is. He learns from her. I would tell you in the relationship that I am in, I find nothing emasculating about putting down my weakness and vulnerability and telling

you I have to follow my woman boy boy So I boy over here doesn't see anything wrong with the ha ha soy girl. Yeah God is No, no, so it girl soy boy soy boy So boy max audience max audience. We gotta get that edited out gotta bleep that one one. It really is soy milk, that's why, that's the great insult. Or tofu, tofu. You don't eat real meat.

Yeah, you don't eat real meat. Yeah, that's what it is. They want whole milk and raw red meat. Can I speak? Until meat gets canceled by them. Until meat becomes gay. That's the last one. And that's on the way, it's right after the NFL by the way.

It's like the next thing on the list is meat. Oh, look at her, still the way. It's like the next thing on the list is meat. Look at her still eating steak. Girlie man. Let's talk about a couple of the things that were vulnerable last night in sports. I wanna talk about feelings. I wanna talk about soy boy. You don't wanna continue the plot of high school musical

and Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift? If you guys have stuff here that you think is interesting because it's become a very silly conversation that I think we could all be enjoying this. It's funny as hell that there's something bigger than the NFL. I love this. So I love this story. You wanted to market to women. Here, you're marketing to girls. Here they come to enjoy football with you on a Sunday and it's really going to be about no Sunday, me, me Sunday. You wanted women and here they come asking

where does Travis Kelsey haircut came from and can my boyfriend get one? What's it called? Go to your barber ask for the Travis Kelsey. And he invented the fade now. He was asked about that. I don't think it's Taylor Swift because my wife isn't a huge Taylor Swift fan

but I have noticed a bit of a seed change with my wife when it comes to pro football. She's really enjoying the product. I told her that because I'm arriving back late from Las Vegas, we don't really have any plans for a Super Bowl watch party. And she reveled in the fact that she gets to stay home and gets to watch the entire thing with the sound on with no distraction. Usher also. Mike, if I told you in Pablo, if I told you five years ago, hey, the NFL has a, we beat up women problem, the 10 years ago, that we've got domestic abuse issues.

Women are not welcome here, but the next generation of mothers, we have to trick them into letting their kids play football because the meat machine needs bodies 20 years from now. How do we get female fans? How do we get women watching, girls watching? Is there anything better? I got it, we're gonna make hats that are pink.

Ah! With rhinestones. With rhinestones. With bedazzle, bedazzle it. You're speaking to the conspiracy theory that the NFL was considering Taylor Swift as a Super Bowl halftime in the discussions. They got this bigger, broader plan

where the Super Bowl halftime show, essentially for a full season. What's happened with Taylor Swift has no doubt worked. If you look at the ratings, and I was picking up my daughter from school and I heard three middle-aged women talking about the Super Bowl. And the demographics, it's not even the ratings,

it's the demographics. People that know that I work in sports and occasionally will just ask me a cursory question about sports and they didn't even need me for this. They got in seven seconds after someone mentioned the Super Bowl, they started brawling over Taylor Swift showing up on TV. And it's just bewildering to me.

I've never seen that audience discapitated by something that's NFL adjacent. There is a thing that happens now because everything is smaller than it used to be. When something is clearly the biggest thing, it kind of feels like the weather event that everybody has to deal with, so everybody has a take on it. And sometimes scale justifies the discourse. Sometimes something is so omnipresent that you have to have a feeling about it somehow.

And how people are feeling about it is what's so funny to me. It's because people are wrong footing themselves, wrong footing their party, wrong footing the stereotypes, and they're winding up in positions in this weird game of like take twister that literally the Republican party has never been in before. And literally football has never been in before where football's two pro women, Dan, to your point.

It's an amazing judo reverse move they accidentally wandered into. I'm jealous that at the Super Bowl they're not thinking about these things. They're already in Vegas. How much fun do you think they had on the expense accounts last night? How much of those expense accounts gonna hurt? They were already talking about going past the per diem. They put it on a bingo card as everyone going past the per diem. So I can imagine.

What is the per diem? I don't know, I don't get one. Oh, that's too bad. It's gonna be the field bet. That's what the per diem is. What? So it's a bad per diem? Hard six.

That's where the per diem's going. So what should the per diem be? I don't know who makes these rules. I think there's a standard one. Like so there's like a chart that tells you by the state what the per diem be? I don't know who makes these rules. I think there's a standard one. Like so there's like a chart that tells you by the state what the per diem is. I would say it's based on the price of milk, but Dan has no ability to drink any of the milk.

One meal that is already provided. That's $50, soy boy room service. I think meals will be provided. And then additionally, you have a per diem to cover an additional meal. Oh, I did see that. I did see that there was some sort of eating area over there. What do we got?

Do we have sternolambus? You say that as if it's not something that you should do when you're, I mean, mobilizing and having the biggest production in this show's history. How do you feel about it right now? Are you jealous? Is anyone else jealous that they're already there? I don't know.

I don't know if I've turned into a nihilist over the last month, but I just don't really care about much. Here, here. just don't really care about much Here here don't My wife my wife asked me how's work going and I said babe. I turned to her. I'm like, I don't know I'm just having this great feeling of dread Like something horrible is gonna happen. I'm not quite sure if it means person to the show No, I just have this immense feeling of dread. I mean hates hates a bad premonition. Well, I mean, I only have one,

which is that I'm gonna die in a car crash. Yeah, that's what I mean. I've already resigned myself to the event that causes the dread happening. Like, I'm so certain of it. What are the, yeah, who's on the board? Yes, I don't have a premonition of what I am dreading. I just know something bad is going to happen.

Well, I'm on your flight, so hopefully it's not that. Well, why would you put that into the atmosphere? Like that you have no- There is no more opposite to the visual. You asked the question. I did, I did. Of Super Bowl radio. You said how am I feeling about all that?

I did not expect such an honest answer. You are stoic, you hide it well. Yeah. Like how you doing for boating? Yeah, I mean we do like these pre-show meetings and I've noticed over the last month I don't really care about much. But I appreciate hurricane stock, that got me up.

You don't pronounce it W in Wuga. Tony. Hey, Dan. You don't pronounce it W and wuga Tony hey, Dan It's been a long day. Are you jealous of the Las Vegas crew? Yes, very The Dan LeBatard show with Stu guts is presented by 1 800 flowers comm Draft Kings official flowers for Valentine's. The show is about to head to Vegas to do a couple of live shows in front of a lot of people outside in the cult and In the rain and hopefully no rain and no wind and all of us are a little bit scared But I didn't realize until right now because Mike is so stoic I didn't realize that he just had a general feeling of dread for a month

Because we're going to jump near or around a Vegas pool and we haven't done anything like this before. I'm sure that has something to do with it. But you're talking about beyond that? I don't know what I'm talking about. I just feel like something really bad's gonna happen. So you're saying from the moment you guys leave the studio on the way to the airport to the moment you guys are back home. It can happen now.

It can happen before. I've already resigned myself to something bad happening. I've already mourned it. Well, what if I told you something bad already happened and that's it it's been taken care of? You're talking about like the Canes basketball season? No. Well, what if I told you something bad already happened and that's it. It's been taken care of. You're talking about like the Keynes basketball season. No, no, that's why I was late. Yeah. You're talking about Tony. What is, what is it? Why are you fanning yourself? Why are you late? Why are you late? We didn't. Okay. It's been a long

day already. All right. You mentioned that, but we have summoned all resources for the company to be all over the place. We are spending all over the place from here to Vegas. Why are you the only one who's late? Everyone's working till two in the morning and everybody putting out content. Why are you late? So this morning I had sold my wife's car and they came to pick it up, right? It's one of those like places that are online. They come in, they send a truck, they pick it up, whatever. So as I'm selling the car, I get the check, very nice check by the way. So I get the check and I'm like, perfect, let's get out of here.

As I turn around, I step in the biggest piece of dog shit you have ever seen. Huge! Crammynition! Huge! Oh, that's a relief. And then I step in and I look down and I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. What were you wearing? What kind of shoes? I'm wearing Prestos right now and you know, they're very ridged all the inside.

Oh no. Are the fabric Prestos? Oh, yeah. That's like, that's like a maze. I don't know if're very ridged inside. Are the fabric pressos? No, no. Oh. That's like, that's like a maze. I don't know if we can zoom in there. Were these gonna be Vegas shoes? Were these gonna be Vegas shoes? They're just more of like my flight shoes because I obviously brought other shoes there.

That topography is not ideal for poop. This is like a very like rugged terrain. This is used for like, you know, getting out there and making sure that you're not slipping. So it gets in these cracks and it's like from this not this shoe, the other shoe by the cracks. And it's like from this, not this shoe, the other shoe by the way. So it's like from here to here.

But you gotta hose that down, right? The thing is I live in an apartment, I don't have a hose. So what I had to do is the old school way. You know how we used to do it back in the day. Plastic bag, I walked outside and I put my hand in the plastic bag and had to like take it out like that. Did you smell your hands after? No, because I had to have the plastic bag out.

You have to smell your hands after. Then after that, I went back inside, got some Clorox wipes, and here's the kicker, guys. You got to get a toothpick. Yep. The toothpick, you get through the ridges and clean them out through the ridges. So it took me like 30 minutes, Dan.

I didn't want to step into your house with shitty shoes on. Tony, I totally, totally know that feeling. I stepped in it one time when I was wearing brand new Jordan 10s. Now, if you don't know the 10s are the one that on the bottom of the shoe have all the accolades, like how many MVPs, how many also. And so very rigid shoes. All of that is all textured and indebted. He had land all sir game.

Oh, well, no, because the 10s are you know, that was before the all started. But yes, same thing, Tony. I had to go through after the scrub, after the rinse off, I had to go through with the toothpick and try to kind of dig it out. I'm still stuck on the plastic bag as a glove. Anytime you gotta use a plastic bag as a glove, things are going terribly for you.

Well, Tony, I was furious that you came in here late, and then I immediately thawed because I'm like, what a human moment of awful. Because on top of everything else, the horror of I'm late to work and look at what I'm doing that's making me late to work. I am cleaning dog shit with a toothpick out of the sneakers because I can't go to Vegas with dog shit sneakers

I can't get to the studio with dog shit sneakers because you imagine people like crack. What's that smell dude? What's wrong? And I'm like, oh, I know it's me, you know like in school like I'm gonna. I'll immediately like will oh Again and then on top of that the inner loop is down So I had to carry my bag plus another bag and walk from the government center all the way over here hot Let's do against the spread here, and I want to preface what I'm saying here. These won't be against the spread. These are all going to be a series of prop bets and different bets we're making together as a show. And as introduction, I simply want to ask you guys as a production team at the end of this segment to get more information on the story that I have in front of me which is just a headline from a Las Vegas, a credible Las Vegas daily, NFL player in town attacked by

Coyote at Lake Las Vegas. I don't have any more information other than this. Get me more information on it for the end of this segment please. Let's go and do against the spread please. It's time for Against the Spread! And it's sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout this show and the shows throughout the week. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I'll get us started here. This one won't be against this spread.

This one will be a prop. It is a big game edition of Against the Spread and I'm going to take Christian McCaffrey's rushing total over I think he clears 90 yards and that super bully's been a fantastic player hopefully that future for offensive player of the year comes through Christian McCaffrey rushing yards over Roy it's your turn on again the spread yeah yeah okay so I'm looking at the player props I'm going with the receiving yards Mark Reyes about as gambling his uh

Oh, I hate that bet Yeah, he's a bit of a heater Bold Yeah, well, he's at 19 and a half. I'm gonna go to the over But it was 30 and a half I know Just takes one shot You're gonna get like three shots out

22 yarder He just has to succeed 33.3% of the time Just one post route, that's all I need I bet it's seven straight games had lost it every time got always needing one catch and I get one for nine yards eat them but he'd not get to the over 13 and a half and now in the line all right we swing it over to Tony Tony you're up on again guys I'm taking Travis Kelsey plus 750 first tutty.

First tutty. I love a first tutty. Against the square! Jeremy, over to you. I'm gonna stick with Travis Kelsey, because I believe in all things Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey, and his over is said at 70 and a half yards. I'm gonna take the over, smash that over. Travis Kelsey over 70 and a half yards So the score of Gami is a thing that happens when an NFL game has a score that has never before happened

It's actually happened nine times this season. So it's not impossible But I'm going yes on a score of Gami in the Super Bowl A unique score Plus 2,000 a unique score thousand a unique score Yeah There was a I saw one book have a bet that was like aliens interrupt the Super Bowl and the game doesn't get finished I'm like, how do you pay that one out? While the aliens are invading you're like like am I okay because I'm residing and

In this certain state line also the aliens may not be kind of fearsome or whatever. They might be friendly. Yeah, that might be legally compliant Yeah, it could be a border thing. No, they just say hey guys, what's up? We're aliens. What are you guys doing? Oh, did we interrupt the game? Yeah, did Kelsey get the first study? Do you have a prop bet? Yeah, I have Gatorade color No Gatorade bath for the winning coach plus sixteen hundred I tend to every year bet over on a number of seconds that the national anthem takes to Ooh, this is all this this is the lowest total and quite some time for Reba

So but I always go over there and I feel like that always cashes, doesn't it? I'm saying the line is suggesting something. They know about Reba's work. Wow. Mike, did you do a deep dive on every time Reba McIntyre is done that shat them? I am like 11 for my last 13 when it comes to the anthem. Isn't it always over? I am so well researched on this. There's spies over there like tracking the exact rehearsal time.

This is like, this is one that you can do thorough research on. But I always just take the over and it feels like it always caches. No, you knew like when Luke Bryan did one one year and I'm like, oh, that guy doesn't have the pipes. He's gonna wanna get out of there as fast as possible. Rest in peace, Toby Keith, by the way. For real? Yeah, that guy doesn't have the pipes. He's gonna want to get out of there as fast as possible. Rest in peace Toby Keith by the way

For real? Yeah, that happened overnight. Oh wow. This is why I was late by the way This is what I would iconoclast taking the game. I would legend I'd like just taking one of the quarterbacks over on a rushing total because then I can just spend the whole game waiting for one Russian one scramble by the quarterback now my Holmes has probably 20 or something yard So I'll go Brock Purdy over whatever his rushing total is well researched over there. That's what I like Yeah, I remember my first time doing that. It was with Eli Manning in a Super Bowl I'm like he just needs one scramble for a yard It's 12 and a half. No, but I lost a bunch of bets this year with Gardner Minshew,

where I'm like going over four and a half yards. He rushes for five, but then kneels three times at the end of the game and costs me. That got us on a Thursday Thunder with Derek Carr, I think. No, well, you're like, hey, he got one fire. I'm good. I'm good in the second quarter. And then he's kneeling at the end of the game and I've lost all my yardage. And I'm calling wondering why it is that my bet hasn't cashed. Again? Yes! Yes!

I think I might have pinpointed my existential feeling of dread. Uh-oh. I'm being told that there is a video from the NHL All Star game that is five and a half minutes long. Oh! Yeah. Roy. What? I mean Roy. What?

I mean, Roy. That is twice the length of our national championship game video. Roy, you can't tell me that you went to the NHL All-Star game five and a half minutes in an eternity. It's an eternity in video. Five and a half minutes. I don't think I've heard you speak five and a half minutes of words throughout our entire career together.

Listen, my job was to go up there and get you content relief. I hope you have relieves. There you go, five and a half minutes. Well, it's too long to fit in this segment. Oh, well, that's probably it. Okay, well, we'll start the next segment with it, but Mike, I have my concerns. That's a long time for anybody. That's a long time for Jerry Lewis. That's the over on the end. Flavin'.

I've noticed this a couple of times. That's the over on the end. I've noticed this a couple of times with Tony at the start of the Tony show that went 23 hours and at the start of the drive, the, the live watch party we did. Tony looked up and realized that 12 minutes solo is a long time. 12 minutes solo is hard. Uh, 12 minutes. Roy saying that he came back with six minutes of content from the NHL All-Star game. Well, he came back with more because this is the edited down version.

Yeah, we had three days. I need the lost tapes. We need the Snyder cut. Is this going to be gold, Roy? I can't believe it. Five and a half minutes. There's no way that... The black and white version? Sterling silver. That has to be how violent.

Are there any luminaries in this? Like do you interview Wayne Gretzky for three and a half of the minutes? Okay, Bobrowski and Sam Reinhardt. Whoa, okay, Rhino, okay. Not great talkers, either of them. Oh no. Oh, we tried.

I was just talking about Roy and Doris. We tried, we tried. We tried. We tried, we made the episode. Well, I can't wait to watch. Oh no. Five and a half minutes of We Tried. This is the dread.