The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Top 5 Underrated Pains

Episode Date: April 21, 2025

Pearl Jam Week, $700 Steak, The Toothache & Heavy Tongue Show, and The King's Disease. Today's cast: Dan, Stugotz, Chris, Jeremy, Jonathan Zaslow, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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So enjoy the tequila that started it all Cuervo Cuervo the tequila that invented tequila Please drink responsibly Cuervo Shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show Chris I'm worried about today's show hmm Stugatz is hopped up on meds oh am I he's got he's got a bad toothache oh his face is not quite swollen but he's been just like massaging the side of his face pretty continually and him on drugs more drugs than usual right no bueno or bueno you never know well bueno for you not we play no not me bueno for the rest of us

I'm also torn because I was very excited about talking about the disaster that Friday was for Metal Arch Media and myself. But so much happens that by the time we get in here, and Zazz is in here now, the Heat are now coming off of a 21 point loss. And so instead of celebrating, hooray, the Heat are in the playoffs, they saved the season,

we have old, you know, the heater and the playoffs, they saved the season. We have old, you know, damp, limp, zazz in here, not filled with fire. Hey, we can celebrate that, it's Pearl Jam week. I mean, I'm feeling great today. And draft week. I mean. Come on.

What's going on with you and draft week? Are you? My tooth hurts. Okay, so he's gonna be out with a toothache you're supposed to be in Tennessee for the draw and people soft okay calling people soft and you might be out with a toothache those were bad games those were bad games over the weekend all of them I mean come on except for Clippers nuggets the Clippers Warriors Rockets was good too. Good game. Why is it? Yeah, keep calves. Yeah What are you nodding about jazz? Those were not good games Rockets Warriors game is my kind of basketball

Yeah, take me back to 1997 that's my kind of game. I loved it. You love defensive games That's my kind of game. I loved it. You love defensive games. Love a good defensive battle. Thank you. Love it. That's love 6-3 football games. Love the SEC.

I love a knockdown drag out NBA playoff game. I don't need the games in the 70s. All right, but every now and then give me a game in the low 90s. I love it This is the Don Leventhal show with this two guys podcast Let's talk about this for a second because that Golden State Rockets game is not the basketball I want to see.

I don't want games in the 80s and 90s. Okay, I know you guys are all staring at me because you want to talk about the stardom of Jimmy Butler and Steph Curry. However, Van Vliet and Green going seven for 34 for two free throws, get out of here Rockets, go now. Take your entire season and get out of here Rockets go now take your entire season and get out of here all of you can just go we all know that's what you're gonna be you're not gonna beat the best teams in this conference thank

you for trying the entire regular season but Van Vliet and Green 7 for 34 two free throws between them and also Jimmy Butler five steals. Yeah. Five steals. That's why the Warriors were minus 190 headed into that series. I mean, I was asking to mean about it last week, but we found out after a game why they were the favorites, heavy favorites. You like that.

So, so Draymond Green's talking after the game. I wonder how Heat fans feel about all this because Draymond Green's talking after the game. I wonder how Heat fans feel about all this because Draymond Green's talking after the game. That's championship pedigree saying, yeah, Jimmy calms us down. We gotta get Jimmy the ball more late. Everything slows down. Jimmy scores six of his points in the last minute 40.

It is crazy to me to watch that team in game one of its playoffs defer to Jimmy Butler on Yeah He Comes Us. I mean he's kind of, not that that team needs it, but he's kind of the adult in the room. Like they know, hey this guy right here is super comfortable, he's super serious, and I'll tell you, there were moments in that game when it was like, I miss that, I remember that. I remember, like I remember being comfortable when that guy had the ball.

I don't understand how it is that we've spent two seasons talking about Kaminga over there and then they trade for Jimmy Butler and Kaminga is a great asset and he's top shelf and we got to get him playing minutes and never mind. Funny thing is he played really well against the Rockets this season. He averaged like 23, 24 a game against the Rockets, but he's just falling out of the rotation completely. I was talking to Amin last week and I was like, why is it that Kaminga just all of a sudden, who was such a good piece, is now gone out of the rotation?

He's not playing, he's like, he's not plus at anything that he can do with Draymond and Jimmy on the floor. It's just he's an extra piece that fits the same hole that they play already. And he's a free agent, he's gotta be so mad. Restricted though, restricted, so it's tough. Alright, he's gotta be so mad though, he's the DMP, he's gonna be a free agent. That's the thing with Kaminga and Jimmy though, that's the difference, is Jimmy does everything

well, he complements both Draymond and Steph in the way that he plays his game because he can allow Draymond to do different things defensively, Steph to do different things offensively, and then you can run everything through him and he's a calming presence where Kaminga and his inexperience is part of the problem. So when you switch those two things, that's why the Warriors are willing to defer. They're always used to having another guy there who's an adult in the room with them. It just happens to be a guy in Jimmy who's one of the best postseason players around. I'm going to do this again.

A ton of bad games. When Dem Levitard judges you Tell me what you gonna do What you gonna do Hey Back games, back games What you gonna do What you gonna do When Dem judges you Stugance, when Jimmy Butler goes 25-5-5-5

with the five steals Yep Did anyone else in that game have four steals? Did anyone? Five steals in a playoff game where the possessions are mattering and in that playoff game one of the few That is in the 80s and 90s to find yourself watching a Basketball game and Jimmy Butler is one of three players ever to have high-end numbers in playoff games. They're 25-5-5-5. The five steals as well.

The other two are Jordan and Westbrook. For him at the end of that game to be in a locker room where Draymond Green is saying out loud, we need to get him the ball more on a team with Steph Curry. Well, of course. Well, but what do you mean, of course? I mean, you got Jimmy Butler to give him the ball and give him the ball often. That's why you went out and got Jimmy Butler.

But you say, of course, the team has Steph Curry on it, to hear in a locker room afterward, the least calm player in the league, saying of Jimmy Butler when he's played with plenty of carlton saying that guy comes as to see slows everything down he's going to get free drugs and he's in the game again i'm gonna say it van vleet and green seven four thirty four two free throws between them you

cannot be the champion that way but i think what dream on says that it says that Jimmy calms us, it's just having that second guy. Without Jimmy Butler, that team has no shot of winning an NBA title. With Jimmy Butler, that team is now more constructed the way it used to be, although Jimmy is a very different player than Klay Thompson. They have a second scoring option on that team, and it's Jimmy Butler. See, that's what I think it is. And that brings the team comfort. That's what I think. I think it's Dr Butler. See that brings the team comfort. That's what I think.

I think it's not Draymond saying if we want to win Jimmy has to have the ball. No, it's we need somebody other than Steph. Yes. Like it's not going to be Pazimski. It's not going to be Moses Moody. It's not going to be me. It can't be me. It can't be all Steph.

Give Jimmy the basket. I think that's what it's about. A couple of things that I, of course that's what it's about, but it's still there. Like I understand, it's not, I'm not confused. I'm not confused. You seem confused. I thought you sounded confused.

You didn't know if Jimmy Butler's any good. Yes, very confused, yes. He's good. I mean, he asked us. Thank you guys, I appreciate, yes. We're here for you, it's Monday. I appreciate that he's good. Tooth is killing me for you. It's Monday. I appreciate that. He's good tooth is killing me Well, let's talk about this for a second because i've given you guys the stat before which is an insanity jimmy butler's

040 point games in his regular season career eight 40 point games in the playoffs To have the first game play out that way because we're sitting here really, you guys understand, all of us do what we're betting on. How many injections, how many knee things is he gonna have to overcome? Because it always looks this way. Game one, when he's fresh and rested, and 35 and five steals. Then you start fast-forwarding mileage on the body, what this stuff takes out of the body,

and you're waiting for a breakdown. The bet between the Heat and the Warriors on Jimmy is, no, he ain't gonna make it to the end of that. You know he's not gonna make it to the end of that, and the bet the Warriors are making is like, just give us seven or eight, Steph will take us the rest of the way. Just get us half, just get us halfway there.

And it's such an interesting bet on like, how a window closes quickly, cause everybody's like, oh my God, by 50 they took out Memphis, they took out Memphis by 50. Like that team's here. That team can only be beaten right now by what you got Clippers, what you got Warriors, what you got old guys Lakers.

It ain't going to get beaten by Houston. Houston's done. Houston's done already. You guys are done with the Rockets? No, no, no. I'm going to blame Izzy Gutierrez. I'm going to blame Izzy Gutierrez. Too high on that.

Why? Because last week on Friday, he sent the praises of the Rockets. They're the great, oh my God, they're going to sweep the Warriors. They're incredible He's like Jalen Green's gonna come out He's like Fred van Vleet's gonna be amazing and it's like 7 for 34 to free throws Like you said playoffs are different man. Oh the Rockets. They're so tough. Like that was their whole deal They're there the tough guys you'll win your tough guy games in the regular season. Everybody's tough in the playoffs

Nobody cares you're tough. It feels a little bit Houston like Oklahoma City last year. Just a year too early, overachieving. No SGA though. No, and that's the difference between Houston and Oklahoma City moving forward. The MVP? Well right, but they have all of these incredible complimentary pieces that are young.

They have Shangoon, who's a great guy to build around, but the question would become, if they end up going out in the first round to a veteran, laden warriors, how do you handle the stockpile picks and all of these great young players? This experience is huge. Game two is a giant game for the future of their franchise, not just this season, but moving forward.

I thought you liked toughness. No, he's done zads. Nobody cares that you're tough. You spit that. Yeah. Playoff teams aren't tough. You're not playing the Hornets. You're not playing the Wizards.

It's the playoffs. Tough. He's right. It's the playoffs. He's right about everything that he says there. But the thing that I want to get to as it relates to the Rockets and the Warriors, because I think that the two games from the weekend, Clippers-Nuggets is going to be

fantastic, it really is. And I heard one of you guys say in the middle of that, best player in the middle of that, best player in the league. And it made me laugh seeing James Harden interviewed. And James Harden tells Rachel Nichols, yeah, we're all rooting for Shea Gilder's Alexander to win the MVP award. He should win it because of the season he had

and the winning. But Jokic is the best player, obviously, and of course. And he's had the better season, if you want to be honest. No, but the stupidity of that, just the sheer stupidity of like, yeah, Shay, Shay, give it to him, because yeah, we've been, but yes, of course, Jokic is the best player in the world, yes.

But not even, he hit the of course, it wasn't even like, this is my opinion. He was just saying, no, this is a matter of fact, we've all discussed it. The rest of us are over here and Jokic is the best player in the world. Players in today's NBA constantly complain about the analysis. They don't like the analysis on television these days. And James Harden's getting in front of a camera telling you, we know that guy is better, but we want him to win.

I mean, that's what happened with LeBron, right? LeBron was the best player on the planet, but we're going to give it to Derrick Rose anyway. Tony, that's what's going to happen this year. And it's only so that Jokic, five years from now, we don't have to put him ahead of Jordan. Who was doing that? Let's be honest. Right, okay.

As an offensive player, I'd be willing to do it right now. No, you wouldn't. I would be. As an offensive player, I right now would be willing to say that Jokic is a better, more efficient offensive player than Michael Jordan. My son just blurted out to me a couple days ago, is Jokic the best center in the history of the NBA already?

And I thought about it for a second. I wanted to say, I don't know. He's not, I mean, that's the answer. Kareem, Russell, Wiltson. That's Allen Iverson. You're doing something here, as I understand, we're never gonna actually give this to him. There's no circumstance under which

America's gonna be good with, yeah, Jokic was the best at that ever. Like there's nothing, he can win the next 10, we won't do it. I didn't know what to say to my son. You say no, I mean. Well that's the easier way to do it. Yeah, or I could try and tell the truth.

Well no, you're lying. No, but that's the thing, see, it's better, it is much better to do it two things way. If you do it his way, if you just teach your children, no, you don't explain anything, they don't learn anything, they go through life dumb. If you try to explain nuance to them, you're gonna end up making the argument

that Jokic is better than Michael Jordan offensively and you're gonna sound like an idiot. Stu, gotta tell you a few about nuance. What is nuance? Hey folks, it's Mike Ryan and if you're watching our show, you probably know your boy has undergone a little bit of a body transformation and I gotta tell you, Peloton has helped me on my fitness journey. It got the ball rolling for me because I watch my wife on the Peloton, she takes all these

great classes, she has her favorite instructors, I listen to the music. I'm a big music guy. It gets me fired up. Makes me want to take part in this fitness phenomenon known as Peloton. Peloton offers a variety of challenging classes. From four-week strength building classes to running, cycling, and everything in between, Peloton will help you achieve your goals and maybe you'll have some fun along the way. I know I have. It's backed by thousands of members whose lives have been changed. Be part of that group. Telling you I'm better for it, have it in my office, sometimes I can put on the baseball game, sometimes I can put on a soccer match, some other times I'm totally locked in on an emo playlist. Find your push. Find your power with Peloton at OnePeloton.com. Ever feel like your paycheck disappeared before you even know where it went? You're not alone.

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with code Dan. Hey friends, it's Jarrah Bear here and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice, because I would never ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked

me to. There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously. Visit BoostMobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas. Don Lebatard. Lightning, Panthers, what do you think? Stugats. Look at this face while I tell this to you.

Okay, because I don't want there to be any kind of confusion. You look me right in the eye. Panthers are going to take that ass, man. This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats. Don Lebatard. Don Lebatard. Don Lebatard. Don Lebatard. Don Lebatard. Don Le because I don't want there to be any kind of confusion. You look me right in the eye. This is going to take that ass, man.

This is the Dunlavatar Show with the Stugats. Zazzle, I want to get back to what happened Friday night. What a night! Oh man! God, let's go. What do you think Pearl Jam is going to open with on Thursday? Oh wow. Zaslow is going to be working for money around here throughout the hockey playoffs. That's a big, giant win for Zaslow. For no money?

No, he won the bet. No, playoff got everything! Oh wow, you got the money and you got the tickets. Oh my goodness. Yeah, he won the bet, so he gets a microphone, he gets money. And my wife is happy. He gets tickets, he gets a happy wife.

Big day. So Friday was a logistical disaster, okay, for a number of different reasons. First off, and I didn't know any of this, evidently when we go live at night off of something the sponsorship on this and the evening costs a great deal of money. Like to just get up and live it's something that DraftKings does a very good job of selling. So I had to find a sponsor while we're towards sort of trying to navigate the logistical minefield of

ten a corporation twenty twenty five makes as low an indentured servant publicly where he is basically someone who has to work for me for no money and evidently no labor laws can we do that live so it's a little bit dangerous. And I had to go, Stu Gatz, and do something I obviously never thought I would have to do, and certainly something that miles over at the restaurant, Prime 112,

wasn't looking to do, which is I had to secure a sponsorship in like 45 minutes, and they're expensive. And so Prime 112 decided that they were gonna sponsor what it is that we were doing because they wanted to back the heat and they wanted to back Zaslow's bet and this is a restaurant that's been a giant in this town for a long time, but they've never done a sponsorship.

They don't need to do that. It's the best restaurant we've got down here. And so they threw their whole backing behind big steaks, big steaks. And I had, like, I'm running late to get back there because I've got a car full of steaks that have been cooked for presentation. He had so much meat.

I mean, what a car, a car full of steaks. Where'd you get the anaconda glizzy by the way? You put that in your car This was an unusual amount of food to have in the car excellent food meant for presentation But also there was a steak in there. That's like seven hundred dollars like there's some ridiculous steak and So I make it to the finish line ridiculous steak. And so I make it to the finish line barely to get live on air with Samson mad at us and saying not to do it.

And then Metal Lark loses in every way and Zazz wins in every way in overtime, but he was shitting himself. Oh, I was so, but I was, I was so nervous, but, but that's, I love the adrenaline I love the adjudant gives me it's my drug. I'm a drug addict in that moment. I love it It's the best kind of high for me when I'm nervous like that with either the heat or the Panthers and you got to see it On full display which I wasn't terribly comfortable with in the moment because I don't think I've ever done that Where everybody could see me live in it?

I came close a couple times to throw in the remote control through the television But I mean listen do you think Pearl Jam plays for two and a half hours or for three on Thursday? It's gonna be so great shame on you guys by the way Amin, Ohassen was here in Miami Got in a flight flew six hours, and then you guys sent them the link to do more show when he got home flight, flew six hours, and then you guys sent them the link to do more show when he got home? Yep. And that's what we were going to do to Zaslow for no money. What we were going to do to Zaslow that caused corporate problems is the idea that in 2025, you can't exactly turn somebody who is an employee into the equivalent of an indentured server.

But why? I'm an adult. I'm not 14. They'll agree to the terms. There are labor laws though. There are, I don't know. Man, don't ask me how it is that corporate things get in the way of every fun thing I try to do.

Can I ask you who got the $700 steak? Can I ask you that? Your dog. Who ate it? A friend of mine. Oh. No, I didn't eat it. I gave it to a friend of mine, yes. You just wanted to know that.

Well, I mean, we all wanted to know who got the $700 steak. Would you have swung by his house if he still had it in the fridge after the show today? Yeah, I would have, yeah. Not true in any way, yes. My tooth, though, he says. What is going on with your tooth? What is the story of your tooth that you're saying you get he's already saying? I'm not gonna make it to the end of the show. I think I'm gonna have to leave early. I've got an emergency

Yeah, it is. It's shooting up all sides of my head Dan. It hurts. I don't know It's a classic toothache a toothache is an underrated pain. Is it not? I mean I was thinking about this since yesterday since I got the toothache about an underrated pain. Is it not? I mean, I was thinking about this since yesterday, since I got the toothache about some underrated pains. I actually have a top five here. Hold on. We're not understanding the premise though. Underrated pain means that it is a pain that is good?

No, it's bad. I don't think you think about a toothache until you have a toothache and then you realize just how bad it is. Okay, gotcha. So it's not like oh, this is this hurts But it kind of feels good It's like this feels bad, but I didn't know how bad it would feel until I had it right you break a rib You know it's gonna hurt right you think about it. You know it's gonna hurt with a toothache

It's something you never think about until you have it and then when you have it you realize wow This is the worst pain ever yeah, but if you said that it's a very underrated movie, that means like it's a great movie and people don't talk about it enough. This is a great pain that people don't talk about enough. Yeah. But a great pain meaning a bad pain, not a great pain meaning a good pain, right?

We're confused by what your premise is. I think when you ask people, what's the most pain you've ever been in, no one's gonna say toothache. But if you ask someone who has a toothache, most pain you ever been in, they'll tell you it's a toothache. You don't know unless you're in it. Okay, all understood and well put,

but I still think our game is flawed because top five most underrated pains makes me feel like it's a pain someone would enjoy. You're saying it's not a pain. These are pains that people don't talk, you know enough about. Is there a pain that someone enjoys? What's a pain that someone enjoys? There's a lot of there's a lot of pleasure pain people. Yes. Are you saying that these are top five pains that we don't talk about enough. That's a totally different list. It's not underrated. It's my list.

I know but I'm asking you what we're calling it for the clarity of the audience. Underrated pains. Everyone's confused on this, too. I'm right there with you. This is exactly what you're saying. Top five pains people forget about. It can't be. Top five pains that people don't think about unless they're going through them. Okay. Is that better? The mouthful, but it is. It's wordy, but Dan's making me change the name of my list. Well because I think it's confusing you confuse the people who are doing the show with so I'm assuming I know that he's with you but that is not the ally you want the heavy tongue look that's a new podcast to thinkothache and heavy tongue? That you and him. Amen.

Go ahead, feel free to do a little demo. You and him right here. Because I think Stugatz is gonna be slurring by the end of the show. I saw him popping the meds. He doesn't do this healthy. What he does is he keeps taking pills, thinking when is that gonna make the pain stop?

He's not allowing for any of it to get into the bloodstream. I took four Advil, I took a Tylenol, I had two pieces of bacon and a couple of gummies. Well, this is the thing. Okay, let's cover this for a second. Let me explain to you how this- It's 420, Dana. Let me explain to you the hot breath

that greeted my right ear this morning. I'm writing down some notes, I'm busy preparing for the show, and I hear and feel and smell something greasy appear next to me. It smells like bacon, it has bacon in its hand, and it is telling me while chewing What a terrible toothache it has. The worst. While chewing I smell the bacon and feel the bacon on my ear

While he tells me I think I have to leave early because I've got a toothache and the toothache is a terribly underrated pain You noticed I was chewing on the left side, right? Left side only? No pressure on the right side. What you do when you have a toothache, you chew on the opposite side. I didn't notice because I wasn't looking at you. I was trying not to look into the breath that was hot and greasy and of bacon. Understood. I didn't want my eyebrows. Bacon breath could be worse. I didn't want my eyebrows singed. I will tell the people again that Stugatz is the only person in this particular establishment who walks around with his breakfast in the morning.

No napkins, no nothing, just bacon in his hand, grease going down, never seen a napkin, it's just eating bacon. And whether it's his left side or his right, he was telling me about his toothache while chewing bacon. So put it on the poll at LeBataille Show. Do you really have a toothache if you're chewing bacon while telling someone about it?

It's not very believable. It's incriminating circumstantial evidence that would suggest that you're guilty of lying. But this is where we get back into why Dan's confused about underrated pain, because if the toothache hurts so good, right, you want the pain, you chew where you have the toothache and you're forcing more of the pain,

and that's where you could think. You could think underrated pain, a pain you wanna have, the toothache, but what you're saying is that this is a pain that you don't wanna have, that you don't think about enough. I can understand why we had to get into the nitty-gritty on this one. If I were to ask you right now most painful experiences you've ever had, you would probably not say a toothache, right? Unless you had an actual toothache. I had gout once. That's the most painful I've ever had. Gout's bad. Yeah. Is that properly rated? Yeah,

I would never say it's underrated. Yeah. And people would understand my description of it too. You're right, yeah. I don't believe that there is a funnier word that you could have had in the middle of that sentence than I had gout once. It's the rich man's disease. Gout, I don't, you're gonna have to tell me more about gout

because I only know it as a funny word and so I need more information on this for me and the audience. At Levitard Show, do you know the symptoms of Gout? I will say that Gout is a funny word to me, at least in part because I only associate it kind of like shingles 80 year old and plus. It's a king's disease.

Well done. Put it on the poll at Levitide Show, is gout the king's disease? Why is it the king's disease? Because it originated from kings back hundreds of years ago, they would get all the fine meats and they would eat so much of it. And when you eat too much of that kind of food of meat,

the red meat, it causes gout. So it was known as the king's disease. So I was eating like a king that week. It's also associated with alcohol consumption. I'm just looking up different, like, interesting, odd syndromes you can get. Because I'm just thinking, are there any other ones that are in this, you know?

Funny diseases, gout shingles, stuff that you can make fun of because it's terrible. Scurvy. It's painful. Yeah, it's awful. But you're not crossing the line into mocking someone who's got family that has been lost to gout. I wouldn't want to have alien hand syndrome, which

is a condition where one hand acts independently of a person's conscious control. Happens to my baby all the time. She's got hands all over the place. I don't know how to control her hands. Exploding head syndrome, a sleep disorder where a person experiences a loud, sudden noise in their head upon falling asleep or waking up.

And then the head explodes. People don't die from gout, right? I don't think so. I gout it. I wanted to hate it. Pretty good, man. Does anyone ever gout? Do not encourage him, okay? Do not encourage him.

Do you realize that Friday night, four minutes into the broadcast, I had to tell him to stop talking like a broadcaster? Do not encourage him with the puns, Chris Cody. Chris, listen to me. Lock in here, okay, right here. If you encourage the bad puns, there will be more bad puns.

We have not been able, lock in with me here, Chris. I've had. We have not been able to discourage the bad puns, even while tasering, punishing, and generally hating the bad puns It hurts so good punish punishing him What puns? Yeah, stay with me. Okay lock in Come back. Sorry on Friday night Stakes for his life Jonathan Zaslow won concert tickets and won being able to

work here during the playoffs and evidently have a little bit of his run of the place because he I thought he was gonna be in this room and now he's that room and so we've got a chemical agent here now that is gonna be problematic over the next few months because he won a giant bet. My wifi wasn't working, that was embarrassing. My wifi generally all weekend wasn't working, which made games more difficult to come by. I wanna ask you guys at LeBretard Show, are you proper bleeped if your wifi doesn't work

for a whole weekend? Question mark. I have come to rely on things more than I thought. I thought I had the most gangster of Wi-Fis. I thought there wasn't an ability for me not to have the best Wi-Fi on the beach, but my Wi-Fi wasn't working. And I was totally nuked on my weekend in terms of itchiness because I couldn't get to things that I could normally get to.

Is that one of the packages when you're choosing, they have like three, four different Wi-Fi packages, you know, silver, gold, gangster. Yes, yeah, best on the beach. Yes, I went to the top of the food chain, it's like what's the most I can give to have the best? What do I have to do to have the proper cables, wires, everything so I don't have to rely on things that my neighbors are relying on I got bad news

I think you gotta leave the beach Dan. I think there's I'm not gonna name names I'm not gonna say anything But I know some people live on the beach too, and they're not happy with the service provider over there You guys have your own rules over there by the way also in the mainland. We get normal stuff We get you know people that you know the fiber optic cables and. You guys over there, they're treating you guys differently. I don't know, you should look into that. Hmm. I wanna stop and celebrate for a second,

because I think we just had a sentence said on this show that's never been said in the history of mankind, putting a group of words together, which is, I thought I had the most gangster of Wi-Fi. What does that mean? Congratulations, Dan. You've done something no one's ever done, which is said that sentence.

Thank you. I appreciate it, Jeremy. But I did think that I had good Wi-Fi, and evidently I did not. But so the unfortunate part about this is I was setting this whole thing up, the whole thing was something that I was trying to do in order to have Zazzlo squirm around Michael Wilbon

and Brian Windhorse. Pete, we're up 10-nothin', right out the gate. Ha ha ha! Because he has said bad things about Windhorse and Wilbon and he's climbing at ESPN, I wanted to make Zaslo sit. I was trying to get ahold of Wind Horse, Wilbon shows up and I see the fear sweep across Zaslo's face.

Yeah. And on top of it, Dan's wifi is gangster wifi. Crap's out and it's just me and Wilpon on the screen. And I've never spoken a word to him in my life and I've said terrible things about him. He is ridiculed and him on air for ten years like this. So now listen to what, but I couldn't even be there to enjoy the awkward of it, Stugats, because my Wi-Fi was balking. Your gangster Wi-Fi.

My gangster Wi-Fi was balking. And so I leave Zaslow and Wilbon alone. I can't even hear. I'm trying to hit Zaslow in the third quarter with the discomfort of, here's Wilbon, here's Joy Taylor, here's Wind Horse. Here's the heat blowing their third quarter. Correct, correct. I didn't plan for that.

That part worked out fine. My wifi didn't screw that up. Do you think Wilbon knows that he was a tool of the week Hall of Famer in my studio? He's one of the only four inductees. Wow. It's a banner of him in my studio. It's 790 the Ticket.

He should be honored. Did he call you Johnny? He calls Dan Danny. He has this thing. He likes putting a Y at the end of people's names. I love that. Guys, you let Zaslow skip past with he was in a closed room. I had disappeared talking to someone he's ripped

for 10 years and you guys didn't just hear him say, tool of the week Hall of Famer that that will be from this market you know but so I want to for what I was about to present will bond with that information in front of Zaslow correct and my Wi-Fi didn't allow it and so I but I'm not talking about when I say the whole scramble was for that. It wasn't the whole reason I wanted to do all of that is because I simply wanted Zaslow in a position where he had to answer to two elders about things, terrible things. He's been saying for 10 years. Aren't you intrigued though? Don't you want to know the

other three tools of the week? I mean, I know Cefalo has to be in there. I just mentioned two of them. Wilbon and Wind Horse are in. We've already covered the other two. Windy Two? He was inaugural inductee. Are we going back as far as Heath Bell in this tool of the week? He was.

I remember this hall. Deserving. Classic. Tool of the week and who was the fourth? I forgot. Jeffrey Loria. Ah, of course. No Sefi, huh? OLI.

Now again, it's not me putting them in, it was our listeners. They put them in. Time now for top five, Stu Gott's underrated pains. We're back to that, huh? OLI? Yeah, I've won. Stepping on a Lego. So is that an underrated pain or is that an overrated pain? It's an underrated pain. You never think about it as an actual pain until you step on an actual Lego. I feel like each one of these is going to confuse me a little bit. You were with me five minutes ago. Locked in. Number five! Two things. I need you man. Two things. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man.

I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man.

I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man.

I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need you man. I need the poll. More people have not. I think it's like less than 50% of people have had a paper cut. All right, hold on. At Levitard Show, that's a good question. Hold on. Everyone slow down.

By the way, no one's ever died from gout. Okay, so that's the line. I think we can all agree. Wherever it is that cancel culture resides, I think we can all agree. The line is we can make fun of the disease if no one has ever died from it. It leads to things though. I'm just reading, yes.

But no direct death from gout. Not the direct reason for death, but it has increased risk of more gout. The king's disease, gout. That's right. It's a... It has to be an old man's disease. Does it not?

I wasn't old. Well, you are old. At Leventard Show, It has to be an old man's disease, does it not? I wasn't old. Well, you are old. At LeBataart Show, have more people had paper cuts than haven't had paper cuts? At LeBataart Show. Because I think what he's saying

that the grand majority of humans have never touched paper in a way that has cut them, which doesn't make sense to me. But we've all had one? Anyone who's touched, I feel like if I say, everyone who's touched paper, more than half of those people have had a paper cut, yes. If you've ever touched paper, you've had a paper cut.

Tony seems like a guy that's never had a paper cut. No, I've had a paper cut, so I had a paper ruler. You know how sometimes they send you, if you're gonna put like a TV up or whatever, they send you like a paper ruler, so you can put it on the wall, measure it or whatever. It was furled together together and then I went to unfurl it and my finger got stuck on the side and it like ripped That's not a paper. That's bad. No, it is an absolute paper cut It cut me like almost half my finger cut off. It's great. All right, so hold on but what you're alleging Chris Cody

What you're trying to say is that everyone? Everyone has had a paper cut if you've been around paper, but you're saying half the world hasn't held paper, correct? No, I think a lot of people have had plenty of experiences holding paper and just haven't had a paper cut. I think it's rare to get a paper cut. It's not like every 10 pieces of paper I touch,

I'm getting a paper cut. I've had one, but I think I've had one in my entire life and I've touched a lot of paper, okay? I got some strong paper bona fides. All right, then the question is, at LeBatard Show, I'm gonna make it less wordy. Have you ever had a paper cut? There it is, I like that.

Yes or no? Number two toothache. A stub, number three by the way, a stubbing of the toe. Man, I wanna be locked in with you. But underrated, I don't understand. But this is such a properly rated. Really? Yeah, man. Everyone knows these

things hurt so bad. Alright. I don't think so. Sturgatz, what is this list? It's top five. It's top five things that you don't know are really painful until you're experiencing them. Okay.

It's getting wordier. Alright, number two. Funny bone. Nothing funny about it. Seriously. You know what? I think that's Experiencing them. Okay, it's getting wordier. All right number two funny bone Nothing funny about it Seriously, you know what? I think that's the first decent one on your list. It's funny. Thank you Nothing funny about it, huh? And number one David Sampson Pain an Underrated pain. Oh, he's underrated, yeah. A pain.

You don't know just how painful David Sampson can be until you're dealing with David Sampson. He's a pain in the ass. I mean, he's calling me on weekends. Leave me alone. I mean, Jesus. Folks, listen up. They're here and they're hot. Get ready because Jimmy John's is turning up the heat.

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