The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Trapper Keepers

Episode Date: April 12, 2024

Today's cast: Mike, Billy, Jeremy, Jessica, JuJu, Roy, and Tony. It's time to talk about the fashion at The Master because WHAT was going on yesterday? Then, Stevie Franchise was the coolest intern in Le Batard Show history, and the crew remembers their favorite back-to-school-shopping items from middle school. Plus, Mike believes the Heat simply don't have it this year: can Jeremy provide enough evidence to convince him they still have a shot this postseason? Also, Adnan Virk and David Samson join the show to discuss all the details of the Ippei Mizuhara fraud saga with Shohei Ohtani and share their Top 5 Andy Garcia Movies. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Don LeVittor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. Mike, OJ Simpson died. Happy birthday, Billy. Thank you. How'd you celebrate your birthday? I was at the doctor's office in the morning with one of my daughters and then I recorded God Bless Football and then I took my daughters to music class and then that was it. Here's a little cake. Okay well happy birthday. Thank you. You look great. Thanks. We got a great ensemble for you today.

I'm really psyched to see this crew. For me? Yeah, we got Tony, we got Juju, we got Jess, we got Roy, we got Jeremy. We got a lot to discuss. Boy, yesterday, what a news day. Did Casiano's Homer? It would have been perfect.

I know that he was like the most bet on player at Homer. He did not. Okay, so I got a lot to talk about and I need your help because your boy's wearing it. Flat out, the clean shaven look does not fit me well. If you're ever at a bar on a weeknight and Kuba Gooding Jr. is there, you need to take a long look at yourself.

Oh, I saw him at the NHL All-Star game. Yeah. He was at a little private party. Well, that makes sense, he's a hockey fan, but I was at a bar, Kuba Gooding Jr. was there, I had to get up and leave. I was like, this can't be good. Why?

Just Google. Weird energy? Really weird, but also, I kept hearing murmurs. Kuba Gooding Jr. from Boat Trip. I mean, yeah, not most prominently, but yeah. I thought people were just talking about the OJ thing, because I kept hearing whispers, and then I looked at the bar,

Gooding Jr.'s there. Was your face shaved or no? Yeah, yeah, well, it was shaved yesterday. So look- Was his face shaved? No. Oh. If, you guys have known me for a while, I think this is like one of a handful of times that you've seen me clean shaven.

Rest assured, if anybody my age shows up clean shaven, something has gone horribly wrong. And that's exactly what happened. Trusty Barbara Rosie, let me down. I tried to fix it. It didn't work out. I see my cheeks for the first time since COVID. Not thrilled about it. We move on. We will rebuild. We will be fine. Okay. What was Kubo up to? You can imagine. Again, just... He was up to the alcohol. I imagine him doing the worm, like, as soon as you saw him. Let's talk about the Masters first, because there was a lot of news there. I want to talk to Jeremy about the Miami Heat in a little bit, too. Jeremy, why don't you physically carry water and just fill up a glass? We'll do. looking forward to providing

the actual reasons why you're wrong. And just carry water for that. But look, I pay about like $700 in streaming services a month, and for the life of me, I don't understand why I can't watch a whole of the Masters until like 4.30 in the afternoon. It's driving me bonkers. But whatever, I know there's an app,

and I know I get to see like three holes, that's great, cool. And this is exactly how Augusta wants it, not a fan. But has anything even happened yet other than Jason Day's pants? That's all I wanna talk about right now. We'll get to Bryson's Clubs, cause there's always something with that guy. But Jason Day's pants, count me in,

I know it's like a normie take, but I was really bothered by the pants. I haven't been this pissed off since Obama wore a brown suit that one time. This was just such a bad look, and I genuinely, my first thing when I, if you're not familiar, or if you're just listening along, basically like windbreaker hammer pants that Jason Day went out on the course with.

You would wear the shit out of these though. Oh, they look super comfy, that's something that I would watch. You would wear the shit out of these though. Oh, they look super comfy. That's something that I would watch. You just don't want him to wear them. No, no, no. It's the math. It's a tradition unlike any other, Jess.

You don't wear windbreaker pants. And I know there was morning rain that ruined everybody's parlays. And now we've got a first round on Friday. It's all kooky. Not a fan. But the pants really triggered me. I feel like this is the Chris Cody thing though,

where I think Malvin is specifically designing kind of outlandish styles for him, I know that's kind of their thing, but everyone's talking about them now, so it's working. If you see Jason Day's outfit right now, he's got a big sweater vest that says Malvin on it. He looks like a pack of cigarettes. He does, there should be like a Surgeon General's warning.

That's actually why Stu Gatz isn't here right now. He's trying to smoke Jason Day. He's at Augusta National actively trying to smoke Jason Day. Ayo. That's crazy. But I know a lot of people had takes on this. My take was I was genuinely surprised that they let him out there with that.

Because you have, there's a difference between outlandish stuff like Sergio Garcia, who looked like the Oregon duck mascot. I don't know if we have that photo up there, but that was an absurd look. Thankfully, he stinks, and we didn't get to really see all that much, and also, we didn't really get to see much of the Masters anyways,

because that's by design. But Jason Day's pants were a nightmare. It was just a straight up nightmare, not as garish as Sergio Garcia's but at least a fit. That's my thing. At least Jason Day's pants, they were like a nice navy blue. Sergio is wearing like the banana yellow pants. So like a can of stary. There were a couple of holes where it's- That's actually exactly what he looks like a can of stary. There were a couple of holes where it's- That's actually exactly what he looked like. Can of stary.

That's a one scene next year when we have to bring back looks like. So like if you were watching Jason Day play though, there were certain tees where the wind was gusting and the pants would just explode comically. It was just huge. So like the one still image that we have doesn't do it justice.

And also we don't really have the right angle because there's just a huge pocket that looks like a trapper keeper on the front thigh. It's just one pocket. It's basically a cargo short pocket on the front. I don't, it should never be allowed. And there are standards at Augusta National. We know this.

Salute the trapper keepers by the way. That was great. I was just reading the stars that you just threw in there. Holy mo know this. Salute the Trapper Keepers, by the way. That was great. The stars that you just threw in there. Holy moly. Dawson's Creek Trapper Keepers? I know what a Trapper Keeper is, but I don't think Roy knows what a Trapper Keeper is. How come?

I'm 40 years old, dude. We gotta know what a Trapper Keeper is. You're 40? Is that like one of those finger traps? You put your fingers in them, you get trapped? Yeah, that's it. I don't know if I can say the cultural. Little five star Trapper Keeper?

Say the cultural thing you don't wanna say. I think I'm good What is this so there was nothing better growing up than? Florida had a tax-free weekend for back-to-school shopping they still do and you would go to like Walmart And you'd load up on your primetime folders you get your Deon Sanders you get your Troy Aikman you put them all on your five-star Trapper keeper and you put that in your Jansport you were set for the year looking fresh that was that was you never got a trapper keeper so so can you explain to me what it is because you said like four things in one it's like a binder that zips up around the sides oh weather resistant or has a gotcha gotcha

you put it into the thing with the holes right it was like so like eight year olds could cosplay being like business people I feel seen little binders Yeah, you never I just didn't know it as that word trapper keeper Did you just carry your books? No? No, I had a book bag Well when I yeah, I had a book bag, but I don't I don't know how to wear your book back What is that back bag I can tell you're pretending that you're a rapper or one supplies are now like I don't even understand I was a loosen of this character of an idiot. You don't know what school supplies are?

Like, how? You know what a notebook is? Have you seen a pen before? Like, how do you not know what school supplies are? Did you go to school? Number two pencil. OK, dork. Oh, wow.

All I'm saying is I didn't know it by that name. I know exactly what he's talking about now that he mentions it. It's like the zipper thing that you would put your pencils and stuff into. I get that. I didn't know it as a trapper I know exactly what he's talking about now that he mentions it. It's like the zipper thing that you would put your pencils and stuff into. I get that. I didn't know it as a trapper keeper. No, that's a different thing.

No, that's a pencil. That would also fit in the trapper keeper. Also was a big plot point in a South Park episode, which is why I feel like you might've. Yeah, some of those had like the ring holes. That's what I thought you were talking about. Is that not it? Do you guys have the,

do you remember like the pencil boxes that had like the secret compartments and like that you would push something and then something would shoot out. No, I never had one with a secret compartment. Do you remember wrapping your books in like a newspaper or a book wrap? Yeah, yeah. A book wrap from the grocery store?

Yeah. Then they made... Lamination? Do you remember just laminating everything? The stretchy ones. Yeah, the ones out of fabric. Oh, the stretchy ones. That's what it is, a trapper keeper?

Game changer. And then if you didn't have the stretchy ones and you had that laminate one, at the end of the year, it was a big thing. Like you would try to take it off ever so slightly, but then you had these cheap books that would tear like the, and you just cost me like $7 when I tried to resell this book. Like it was just awful.

Back to school shopping kids. I think you weren't a one strapper. I don't think you were a one strapper. I think you were two straps high and tight on the chance board, Tony. A high and tight two strap, but then it also, they sold like one strap book bags, like early 2000s. I was a one strap book bag guy.

Again, to cosplay being like a business person with a little briefcase, was the marble black and white composition book the worst school supplies? We used to log the show on those. I just bought one recently. You had to break them to use them. They're so hard to write.

We have like 17 of these composition books just from logging the show, because we used to log the show on those. I just bought one recently. You had to break them. You must have like, they used to have black and white ones. We have like 17 of these composition books just from logging the show, cause we used to just do it. My trunk has all of the old show logs. Oh my God, can you go get them? They were composition notebooks. Like, I don't know why that's what we use, but that's what we use.

And I have like 16 of them in like this big plastic tub that just live in my trunk. You know what I would do? Yeah, I took them from the old studio, somehow thinking that we needed that, and then I moved them to the Clevelander, and then everyone was like, you have so much stuff on your desk.

Half of it is old logs from the show in 2008 that we will never need segment by segment breakdowns. And it's just living in this thing. Oh, this would be a great bit to bring this back and read one every day. We did that once, and then we realized how bad the show. I don't remember I don't remember your shorthand. You didn't really understand what you were writing Yeah, and then there was like certain it was the interns jobs to log the show and there were certain interns that were honestly horrific

We miss you Stevie lived in like this nice bubble as an intern where he literally had to do nothing and they just thought that he was cool Yeah, like Stu gots and Mike and Dan are just like, Stevie's the coolest. And like I'd go in and they're like, we need an extra intern on Wednesday and then I'd like go to sit and like. This doesn't sound like something Stugatz would do.

I'd go to sit at the intern like post and I couldn't sit there cause Stevie was there. And then it's like, okay. And it's like, is Stevie gonna answer the phone? It's like, nah, Stevie's just cool. And then I'd have to log the show and answer the phone to do all this stuff. What's he up to now?

I don't know. He's not calling Champions League games I assume. No, I'm gonna text him right now. Yeah, no, that dude's set for life. No, that dude was in a family that there was no way he could fail. There was no way that Stevie could fail. No, not just Stevie,

I believe it was Stevie Franchise. Stevie Franchise, yeah. He actually came to a DJ set that I had like two years ago. He's really nice, I like Stevie. He just had a cushy gig as an intern. Oh man, I'm gonna say. Where there was just like no expectations, like ah, Stevie's cool.

That was just his whole thing. We should interview him for EP. We should interview him for EP. Stevie, come back, Stevie Franchise. I like Stevie. Everyone likes Stevie. Stevie was probably along your lines though. Stevie wore his backpack with one strap.

Yeah, if he even went to school. And like Stevie, like Tony, you also like wonder, like you're the kid that's like going from class to class and you take all of your books that you need to for the classes. Don't herd, absolutely herd. And you have like this giant turtle shell that weighs like 900 pounds on your back, like causing scoliosis or whatever it is

that happens to all these kids. Impossible. And then you're like, how the hell does this kid in my class have a book with like one sheet of paper in it and there's nothing on it and they have like perfect form, they're never gonna have back issues or anything. Like how are they getting by doing this without any books, I don't understand.

Because the trick was always there's a book in the class and I just get the book that's in the class. Why bring my own book? My locker would have all my books the entire year and I would never go to it And at the end of the year all my books were there and I was good. Mm-hmm mechanical pencils Do you remember the mechanical pencil point seven or point five? And erasers yeah, oh erasable pens that was also a game-changer Yeah, it ain't never worked. Yeah, oh, erasable pens. That was also a game changer. They never worked. Yeah, they never worked.

Remember when the whiteout strips dropped? Oh, yes. That was crazy. That was a game changer. When the whiteout strips dropped, that's a moment in time. Like, I've been with this liquid paper for years and years and years.

Do you ever remember painting your nails with the liquid whiteout? Of course. Of course. Fumes coming out of that. Did you guys do the thing with Elmer's glue on your hands? Of course. And then you rip it off like it was your skin

and you're like, ah, what's happening? This person's ripping off their skin. You guys ever taste Play-Doh? It's salty. Honestly, no. You know, what a bait and switch. Play-Doh brand Play-Doh? Or is this a play?

No, Juju's absolutely right. What a bait and switch. I want a yes and this. The fine people of Play-Doh really played a it Play? No, Juju's absolutely right. What a bait and switch. I wanna guess and this. The fine people at Play-Doh really played a trick on us because it smells delicious. You wanna eat Play-Doh just by the smell. And it looks delicious. It looks great.

Did you guys ever eat the like, Bay Bell cheese wax balls? Because that was a big thing in my middle school where there was one kid who would always eat them, and he'd like take all of the extra wax and make like a shape out of it, and then he'd eat it. The red?

And we'd all be like, eww! Like the red wax? Yeah, like the extra wax and make like a shape out of it and then he'd eat it The red? And we'd all be like EWWW Like the red wax? Yeah like the red wax It's so disgusting Ohhhh Yeah, it is very salty. It is way too salty Are you tired of snooty wines and their old-world wine culture confused by words like malolactic fermentation? Yeah, we are too. So with 19 crimes, you can do the fancy schmancy tilt sip smell. Oh

So with 19 crimes you can do the fancy schmancy tilt sip smell. Oh I think it tastes like old red cherry a little bit of wood and mahogany little leather You can do all that stuff or don't 19 crimes is the rebel of wine culture telling stories of rogues and rule breakers who? Overcame adversities from convicts banished to Australia to the legendary icon Snoop Dogg himself 19 crimes wine is defined by nature bold in character and always himself. 19 Crimes Wine is defiant by nature, bold in character, and always uncompromising. 19 Crimes, the official wine of the UFC, pick up in stores nationwide or online at 19crimes.com. Enjoy Responsibly Copyright 2024, Sonoma, California. Don LeBertard Teammates can't shoot from three Now they're gonna see a different Jimmy

Now he's just, just playing Nickelback in the locker room and Stugats They'll play D and show threes As they chase the Nats for the sixth seed These five words in his head Scream, are we winning games yet? This is the Dan LeBattar Show with the Stugats

This is the Don LeVatar Show with the StuGats. Jeremy, the Heat are sucky. The Knicks just had a win last night that the Miami Heat are showing you time and time again. They're incapable of... Here's the deal with the Miami Heat. I know they're sucky because when they play good healthy teams they lose and often they get creamed. It's bad. This is not the same team, and I'm sorry to say this, but we're here with the Jimmy Cliff. We're at the Jimmy Cliff. We were at the Jimmy Cliff in the finals, but you give him a pass because he had a historic playoff run. The guy's a machine. And with all due respect to Jimmy Butler, I've been expecting this, we've all been expecting this

for three years now, and a guy, he may prove us wrong again. And I've been afraid of this take because, for whatever reason, as he said, didn't he just have a quote, Jeremy, that says in the playoffs I go nuclear? Yeah, that was a behind the scenes of his latest Hulu commercial. Okay, he does go nuclear in the playoffs.

And that's all that Heat fans have right now, in terms of hope, is that you get some guys coming back, they clearly miss Duncan Robinson, who to his credit has really improved. He's one of the most important players on the team. Oh, obviously, and if he is that in the playoffs, okay, you can battle, especially depending on the draw, that Janis injury. You could see a path if Jimmy goes nuclear. I guess I've been given the motivation

for the last few years now and I'm not gonna stop because I honestly want this team to win. I would love to be wrong. I loved being wrong last year about them. I love the Miami Heat. I think Coach Spoh is the best coach maybe in the history of that sport. But this team looks done.

This looks like the end of an era. This looks like an off season where you gotta look at this roster and consider just breaking it all up. I can totally understand why you feel that way. There have been all sorts of signs that this team is not as good as they were last year in some ways, right?

Last year, it was actually the opposite. They were losing to the bad teams and they were beating the good teams. And the struggles with their offense were pretty much simply because they weren't hitting their open shots. They were still creating good looks and then missing open threes.

And so when their role players got hot in the playoffs, that's why the run happened. This year, the offense goes through these stretches where for six, seven minutes at a time, they cannot score a bucket unless they're getting to the line. And so obviously, there are all sorts of reasons to be concerned.

On the same note, they've, as a team, have the fifth most games missed, and they are the only team in the bottom five in terms of games missed and they are the only team in the bottom five in terms of games missed by their players. And games missed, I mean, due to injury. They're the only team amongst that group that's over 500. They have a better record this season than they did last year. And if you look at this entire run, the one seed that they had a couple of years ago was actually the outlier. Every year they've been right around here in the standings.

44, 45 wins every single season near the bottom of the Eastern Conference or at the middle of the Eastern Conference and then come playoff time with the best coach in the league and one of the best playoff performers in the league, they find a way to get it together. The one- But Jeremy, and I'm hearing your argument right now

and you're laying out sound points, but they've never had a year where, when they match up against the cream of the crop, they look this bad. Yeah, no, and that's entirely fair. The flip side of that would be is if they scored a total of eight more points in two games over the last week,

they'd be eight and two in their last 10 with wins over the Pacers and the Sixers, and we'd all be celebrating the fact that they're about to be the three seed in the conference. And understandably, they did not get there. They're struggling to get across the line against the Pacers and the Sixers. Yeah, they're getting blown out by the great teams.

They're gonna have to beat teams much better than that. Yeah, are they? Because there are not teams outside of the Celtics who are better than that. All of these teams are bunched up by a couple of games, particularly if you're looking at a Yanis-Liss Bucks potentially, or even a hobbled Yanis. That was very difficult to say. I would say that the Eastern Conference is up for grabs outside of Boston, right? And then you find a way to get there because all of these teams are bunched up by three

games. There is still literally the same path ahead of them. If the Heat end up in the play-in and they win that first game, whether that's against Orlando or Philadelphia, that's pretty much what they're looking at at the moment. If they can find a way to win that first game, you get the Bucs, the Knicks, and the Celtics as your path, more likely than not.

I've got no hope that they can actually mow through those teams that you listed. The thing that I would say is, and I said this on the show a couple days ago, I have more concern about the one game samples in the play-in than I do over a seven game sample against any of those teams. They can win four out of seven games

against any of those teams. Over their last 10 games, they have the second best defense in the league, the 11th best offense, they're six and four over that stretch, and it's with a few close losses. They were blown out by the Mavs, but the Mavs over the last month

have been the best team in the NBA. Yeah, no, I'm gonna take a future on the Mavs. Hole punchers, Tony. They're great. No, the thing was- Hole punchers, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, hole punchers, pretty cool. The thing I would say is that last year's team

was so much better in their role players than this year's team is. That's the issue. When you have Max, you have Gabe, you had Duncan, you had guys that Were coming off the bench energized scoring points Caleb Martin in the playoffs by the way is Caleb We're still on the right sure sure but all of them, but they were there Martin You've been called out Caleb Martin the role stealing money Caleb Martin the role players situation effect now

What is going on? Is it is twin? Do we is someone check do we have the right Martin? The role players on this team are not playing as well as last year. First of all, the role players on the team last year really struggled. They were all bad. Like all of them. But they all ascended to the mean in the postseason.

Exactly. All at the right time. As shooters. All at the right time. The argument that you can make that that could potentially happen again this year. And I'm not. It's different.

But is there shooting numbers? Because last year, that was a topic that these guys are not playing at all to their averages, and you could actually make an argument that they're gonna ascend to the mean. With this year's team, I just don't think they got it in them. They're bad. No, the issue is that they're not creating shots.

They're not, and the bigger problem has been it's because they're disjointed as a roster. So with guys missing games the way that they have, there have been so many moments where you're like, all right, they're finally gonna be healthy. And then now Duncan and Terry are out. When Tyler came back, they had one game where it was the entire roster and Duncan was still hobbled.

The reality is, is you look at the end of the season, Terry Rozier has a neck issue, he'll be fine for the playoffs. I don't know about Duncan Robinson. That sounds like a threat. But if Duncan Robinson doesn't play, Tyler Hero steps right into that role, and he's been great since coming back from injury.

Offensively he's been great. Yeah, but he's been passable defensively for what it's worth. The team just doesn't have the juice. As much as we're saying right now about the Heat, you still said the most important thing, their coaching is the top tier. And Boston, as a Boston fan, I still fear that part of the Heat, you still said the most important thing, their coaching is the top tier.

And Boston, as a Boston fan, I still fear that part of the Heat. We don't have what that means to the Heat culture. We don't have the late game dominance. We don't have the late game performances or any of the things that the Heat have. And so even though we're number one seed, I still fear the Heat in that seven game series because of just the bones of the organization being more secure than the Celtics. Well, it's Missoula versus Spoh, or it's Doc versus Spoh,

and you feel great about your hand. And that's agreed, right? The coaching aspect is a huge part of it. But you can coach guys, and if they're not that good, you're not going to win, right? At the end, I know the steam was kind of coming out with Jimmy. He was tired. The team was tired. But if you look at the Eastern Conference finals and At the end, I know the steam was kinda coming out with Jimmy, he was tired, the team was tired, but if you look at the Eastern Conference Finals

and the finals of last year, the heat went what, like two and like nine? We all saw what was going on in that NBA Finals. We didn't wanna say it out loud. They got beat by the best team in the world. Sure, no, no, no, no. Of course, but. It's one thing to get beat.

Speak for yourself. They're the only team that got a game off the Nuggets. I understand. It's one thing to get beat by the best team in the world. We all saw what was happening during that NBA Finals. And it's not that we were missing shots. Jimmy wasn't taking shots. No, that's fair.

He's had some issues when he can't get to the line. And there's defenders in that paint. And he's backed away from those. Trying, by the way, to get the role players involved and get some shots. He was. He was doing some of that. Those are the things that we called Bam out for. It felt like 2010 Mavsie.

It felt 2010 Mavsie. I wouldn't quite go that far with it because they were so clearly not the better team. Like, the Heat were the better team than the Mavs in that example, and their mental makeup is what allowed them to, LeBron's mental makeup is what allowed them to lose that series. But do you remember

that in an elimination game against Denver, Jimmy finally started putting up shots like midway through that fourth quarter. And he started cooking again. And with him, it was almost like a mental block, like I'm not gonna get the calls, and I'm not gonna get to the free throw line, and my entire game, and this entire team is predicated

on me getting the line, getting points there with zero seconds coming off the clock, and our defense getting set up. He wasn't doing that. Moreover, we fast-forward one season that he had like maybe like a three game stretch this season where he could be like, okay he can be that guy again. That's an entire season's worth. He and they ran out of gas at the end the last year after their fourth out of five seasons or rather three out of four seasons going late into the postseason.

Mind you, also a bubble year in there where they were going back to back years of playing deep into the playoffs. They got knocked out by the Bucs that year after for a reason. And so you look at this season with Jimmy Butler as compared to last year. He's played six less games,

so he'll finish with four less games than he did last year in terms of games played. His efficiencies are all right about the same. Last year he averaged 22 points, this year it's 21. This year he's shooting 49% from the field, last year it was 53. He's shooting 5% better from the three point line. The free throw numbers are down by just an attempt per game. What you're looking at, and it's fair,

is in a number of big games, like the game against the Mavs, which you could argue big game, not big game. That was a big game. Huge game. Huge game. Huge game. But whether or not it was a big game, you can highlight singular performances

where you're disappointed he hasn't gotten to the line the way that he should have. He did against the Pacers, and the likelihood is the guy has to put his body on the line in this postseason for the Heat to have success. We're looking at a Heat team where Jimmy Butler occasionally goes missing and that's not the formula. No it's not. Enter Terry Rosier. I expect that he will show up for the postseason. Yeah where Terry Rosier will put his hand up and he'll take the bad shots. No! If someone's gonna take the bad shots, it's gotta be Jimmy! Look out for the Sixers by the way they are healthy at the right time of the year bro.

Don LeBattard! During one long evening at the Burton's Robert sent their guest Tennessee Williams and director Joseph Lozey running for the door but in Burton's words she insulted Rex, she's talking about Rex Harrison, Rex sexually morally physically lay on the floor in the bar and bark like a dog started to masturbate her basset hand. Oh Jesus Christ What's happening? This is the book and I'm like, how do I, you know, because to Mike's point, he's just to know I read the book. Well, okay, listen, I highlighted this part. So you know, I read it. Spook ads.

Have you ever met Mike before today? No, no first meeting. So your thing is in the first five minutes, let's talk about dog masturbation and trap. Because I knew he would be able to relate to the subject matter. He would know what it's like because he's a guest on the show and the guy's trying to impress him because okay, what's going to go with? So I figured masturbating a basset hound was definitely something he could at least appreciate. Weird assumption to make.

Was he right or wrong? I'm gonna say he was wrong. Oh. This is the Dan LeVatar Show with the Stugats. ["The Stugats Show Theme"] All right, as we said, there's a lot to discuss. We didn't even talk about what was outside of OJ Simpson, maybe the story of the sport, which was Ipe and Otani. And my god pal, Ipe,

I came around, I like this guy. I like the cut of your jib, Ipe. And he's being given flowers for not betting on baseball. So we're going to bring in our baseball experts and add in, you can see adding in on MLB network, occasionally NHL network. I got some hockey stuff, but I'll text you privately. We have David Sampson. Juju, you made it to a tour stop, the City Winery Tour Stop with David Sampson.

That was cool to see. Yes, sir. It was amazing, brother. My brother David had so much control over the crowd. He had them in the palm of their hands, god, hilarious. Were you at the Dan Uggla show? Yes, Dan Uggla was there showing love. I saw a photo of Dan Uggla, and I was stunned

that he wasn't wearing flip-flops. How are the forearms? The forearms, actually not the... Still there. They're still there, but it's not... Not as good as they used to be? I mean, who is? Who among us?

He got an 18-year-old child, a son. I can't believe this. What? He has an 18-year-old, yes. Wow. Say that, he's got an 18-year-old son? Son right now, looking amazing. Really?

Salute to Dan. Okay, well David and Ed and you're our movie experts. There's a lot to discuss. There's some movie trailers that drop that I wanna get your opinions on. I don't know if you're big trailer guys, but they got people talking. But let's begin with the baseball story, DeJure,

which is, I guess Shohay wasn't lying. His story is holding up here. Do you agree that Shohei Otani's defense holds up in the court of public opinion? David Samson, we begin with you. Well there's an affidavit, a 37 page affidavit, which basically echoes everything that Shohei said, which is I had no idea until I was told in a hotel room in Korea that I was missing money. And it wasn't four and a half million. It was $16 million. And apparently his interpreter was a gambling addict making 19,000 bets and

losing $40 million gambling on games anywhere from $10 to $160,000, but no baseball and I had no idea. And by the way, the interpreter pretended he was me and called the bank and changed phone numbers and contacts. And I said on Nothing Personal this morning that I can't change the phone number on my Uber Eats account without three different ways of authentication and codes being sent left and right.

And somehow Bank A, which is what they call it in the affidavit, Bank A allowed all of these huge wire transfers. So I still think there's going to be more to the story. But what is happening now is wire fraud and bank fraud. It's not a gambling inquiry into e-pay. It's wire fraud and bank fraud, which is why MLB is still investigating because they have to make sure that there was no connectivity between Otani and any gambling on sports and certainly not baseball.

And it's a good and then go for it. I was going to say it's a sickening situation, quite frankly, because this guy completely abuses the trust of one of the great players in the sport. And the question that a lot of us had is how did he get access to the money? Apparently they set up the account together. Like David said, he impersonated Ohtani on the phone while trying to get a car loan and then was just completely reckless and literally had no remorse whatsoever. The David's point, the 19,000 bets, that's 25 bets a day. And then they deleted text message March 20 to his

bookmaker. He said, have you seen the news? Yeah, you know, I stole from him. Like it's it's clearly unequivocal what he paid was about. And it's just, it's insane just how lawless he was, how brazen he was and what he did to Otani. So it's, it's clearly disappointing. I think in many ways, it's a best case scenario. If you're looking at a big picture, though, Tony wasn't involved, that there was no gambling on baseball, but it's, it's upsetting to say the least. And I was kind of stunned to just, like I said, how brazen EP was. And I'll say this guys, as I know there's always been some skepticism. This was the feds. Like this is under the threat of perjury that Otani cooperated. He gave up his phone.

I mean, you know, Tom Brady famously would not give his phone to Roger Goodell. So that's really what he was suspended for. Ultimately, not for breaking his cell phone. I've never seen a smoking gun like his statement, which is technically I stole from him. It's it's a what was the in minority report with Leo Crowe and all the pictures on the bed and orgy of evidence is I think what they called it. And this was one of the biggest smoking guns you could have in this affidavit. But add an end

where I just would beg you to think about what the feds were investigating. It's a big investigation involving illegal bookmaking. And it's been going on for a long time. This is just a part of it. And they were looking for e-pay and the charges in the affidavit are wire fraud and bank fraud. It doesn't go to gambling.

It's not a concern. They put the line in the affidavit. There were no bets on baseball, but it only is from a period of time of 21 to 24. Otani's been in the league longer, which is why MLB released a statement saying, we're going to wait for all criminal proceedings to be resolved and then we will see where we are because MLB can't get caught with their pants down here. They cannot have anybody come out any time with any bets that I pay or anyone made prior to 21 that may have involved Otani.

But are neither of you skeptical of the fact that Ipe and Otani, we were told beforehand, were so close, they were best friends. This guy somehow is making these insane amounts of bets. He's so deceptive, he's so calculated, he's stealing from Shohei. Shohei has no idea, he's completely in the dark, completely blindsided by all of this somehow, while they're so close. He never sees someone who's lost $180 million gambling

and won $140 million gambling. He's never seen this guy sweat or any sign that anything was amiss, right? He's so careful and calculated. He's such this evil mastermind to steal from Shohei. And then at the same time, he's so sloppy and reckless on text messages where he's like, yeah, I stole from him, lol, whoopsie,

and then that's how they catch him. I'm bad at gambling lol. That seems strange to believe that he was so careful and calculated, and then all of a sudden, when we're looking for a smoking gun, oh, there it is, the day that the investigation's going on and he admits to it, he's just texting carelessly about it,

and we gotcha. When a legal bookmaker, he's texting, not knowing the difference between a bookmaker and DraftKings, which he also said, having also had a different story the night before the story broke. But my question is, do you have friends who may do things that you don't know about?

Correct. There's no honor among thieves, Billy. You think you know everything. Tim Duncan got ripped off at one of his best friends. He's been doing them since grade school. Oh no. The true criminal can do this. No, and like in marriages, there's affairs

that clearly partners don't know what's going on, right? I just, it seems weird that he's so careful in one aspect and so reckless in the other, and the area where he's reckless all of a sudden gets the guy that no one wants to go down, gets him off. And he's good now because we have this crazy reckless text that was sent while the news is coming out. What I was picturing is because Shohei sleeps so much.

I was picturing that Ipe would like put Shohei to bed and then put on College Lacrosse and start gambling on every possible game. Watch every game and like and then Shohei would stir it like 10 in the morning. Like, oh, no, hold on. I'll be right there. I'm watching the end of some game in Europe. So I can imagine there's hours in the day because Shohei sleeps so much. But clearly I wonder whether Shohei ever,

when they were together and awake, was wondering why they were watching the CFL midweek game. And it seems that Ipe was interested in the outcome of that. In fairness, if you haven't seen the Saskatchewan Roughriders lately, they've been terrific. So I think I can back them up on that one. Am I crazy for like feeling really bad for this guy? Like he just ruined and destroyed his life

over what seems to be a very, very severe gambling addiction and also like destroyed a friendship that he's had for years. The entire thing just makes me feel very sad. It is tragic, obviously any type of addiction, but he is taking it and he apparently is going to be in court today. He could plead guilty to this wire fraud and everyone is saying, well, it's a million dollars or 30 years in prison.

He's not going to get 30 years in prison. There's going to be an element of restitution. We have to try to pay Otani back the victim of the theft. And he obviously won't be able to do that. And query, where's the other 24 million? He lost 40, stole 16. Does he owe 24 to the bookie? And is the bookie going to break his legs or just say, hey, it's on me.

It's good. Or do they go to Otani as the creditor? Where is Stu Gotts today, by the way? Hmm. And Stu Gotts could offer some more color on this situation. But to Jess's point, just the sadness of the whole Gailey addiction, legendary better Billy Walters in his book had this quote, the biggest thrill for a better is winning a big bet.

But the second biggest thrill is losing a big bet. Like that is this lifestyle You were just completely More alive than one that pulling the chips away You know what is remind me of you guys watch the TV show Shogun Sometimes you got a fog on your sword for your home What are you doing? What are you doing? This is a great ball guys

Yesterday hold on let's entertain this idea. Let's say he is the fall guy. What are you doing? This is a great fall guy. This is happening. What are you doing? Show hay, show gun. I couldn't even talk to you about it yesterday. Okay, hold on. Let's entertain this idea. Let's say he is the fall guy. David, what kind of prison time are we looking at here? De minimis. I mean, it's theft. I would say-

I know what that word means, but for those that don't. Not a lot, not a lot. I would say one, it could be one to two years. I wouldn't expect it to be more. It is a big deal. Obviously, this type of theft and fraud. But there are. That's in frauds.

Alleged fraud that are that are far bigger than 16 million dollars. It's just famous because Shohei is famous, but rich people get money stolen from them all the time. So it's not 30 years. Take the under if you can find that on DraftKings. But it's a scenario where one or two years, it's ripe for a Fall Guys situation to protect $700 million.

And anyone see, what is the movie Adnan with Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes? Rising Sun. Rising Sun, we all know what happened in that movie. We got that. I doubt it. You don Rising Sun. We all know what happened in that movie. We got that. Yeah, all of us know. For those who don't know, I know what happened in that movie.

Yeah, all of us know. For those that don't, can you tell us in like five seconds? You don't even know the name. 1993 classic, well done David. I'm gonna guess the sun came up. Did you guys see the part in what came out yesterday where one of the, I guess, bookies or whatever

was following Shohei while he was walking his dog and he's like, hey, I can't get a hold of the, I guess, bookies or whatever was following Shohei while he was walking his dog. And he's like, hey, I can't get a hold of you, but I'm looking at victim one here walking his dog. I may go up to him. He got a call back immediately for me pay after that, didn't he? Do we have dueling top fives? Because we have 50 seconds left in this segment,

and I'd like to rifle through them if we could. Yes. The fastest dueling top fives ever. Billy, get ready on the fan fair. Per custom, we begin with David Samson. What is this top five? What are these top five? Andy Garcia's birthday. It's Andy Garcia's birthday. A local hero. We love you, Andy. Number five, Passengers. Number four, Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar.

That's a great scene cut. Number three, love that movie, Internal Affairs. Number two, Ocean's Eleven. Number one, City Island. All right, that and then per custom you close us out. All right, by the way, City Island, his daughter's in it, she plays a stripper. Number five, Night Falls on Manhattan.

Number four, Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead. Number three, Stand and Del in Denver when you're dead. Number three, stand and deliver, inspirational teacher movie. Number two, I'm the only one ever that can call you Uncle Michael, Godfather Part Three. And number one, Samson's, shame on you, it's the Untouchables, here at Myth-O-Less. Wow, you guys did well.

David and Ed and then we'll talk to you soon. Catch nothing personal with David Samson, or are you still doing the City Winery things? Yeah, I've got a show on Monday in Nashville and Thursday in Pittsburgh and then New York City on Monday, April 29th. All right, catch them there. No Father of the Bride?

I didn't like it. What? Crazy.