The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Where is Edmonton?

Episode Date: May 31, 2024

Today's Cast: Amin, Charlotte, Chris, Lucy, Billy, Mike, Jess. Uncle Amin and Aunt Charlotte are here to drive us into the weekend and they brought milkshakes for everyone! Somebody took a big fat L yesterday and was embarrassed in front of the entire country. That's right, the gang is here to break down the Darren Waller music video. The Panthers are one win away from their second straight Stanley Cup Finals appearance after a 3-2 win over the New York Rangers in Game 5. Chris started looking at flights and discovered that Edmonton is really far. How much of the crew actually knows where Edmonton is? How much would it cost to buy Greenland? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. on a team. Taking on jaw-dropping obstacles all across Canada is one thing. Working together on a team with some pretty big personalities is another. It's a new season of Canada's Ultimate Challenge and sparks are gonna fly. New episodes Sundays. Watch free on CBC Gem. Navigating adulting isn't always easy. You're not just working, you're working late. And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan? And you're thinking, paying off the bill for this fancy pants meal, probably. So when you need to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you,

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That's right. It's like spending a weekend at your rich aunt and uncle's house. Mom and dad aren't here to tell you to eat your vegetables or anything like that. We're just gonna have fun. Who wants a milkshake? You guys want milkshakes?

Yeah, milkshakes all around. No? It's kinda of early. 901 Eastern. I'm lactose intolerant. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, we're trying to have fun over here. Oh, sorry, we're offering milkshake.

Mike, do you want a green juice? We have that too. We have a fully stocked fridge and a fridge in the garage. So much green juice here. Nah, man, we got so much to talk about. Obviously, the Ice Cats being a game away from the Stanley Cup return, and maybe this time, vengeance is dying, right?

We also got the Mavericks, they are going to the NBA Finals, Kyrie Irving, the reunion with Boston, let's sage that up. But first! No, I mean, no, for real though, I know everyone thinks Dan's not here, so we're gonna skip the topics, the serious topics, right? We're just gonna have fun here, but there is nutrition here.

Because something huge happened yesterday. Massive. Everyone's talking about it. Everyone. And if I might be so bold, someone took a major L. Yeah. And we're going to get- This was yesterday, I would say it was historic. I think it was historic. someone took a major L. And we're going to get.

Yesterday I would say it was historic. I think it was historic. I don't know that we've ever seen something like this happen. Was it a historic day or an historic day? I always have a problem with that. It was an historic day because you're too fancy on an uncle.

Well there you go. I always say a historic day because the H is not silent unless there's some cool blimey type chap. What H? What H? Is there an A or day? Historic.

Oh, historic. Got it. The H is silent? For them over there across the pond, an historic day. Yeah, that's why they say anhistoric, but it's ahistoric because the H isn't silent. What? It depends on what kind of British accent we're talking about. I'm talking in it.

Oh, if you're talking, yeah. I like Chris Cody's rules of grammar. Chris, can you just tell us, tell everyone what you just said. Well, I don't understand, N, like history is an H. But it's silent, apparently. The way I've grown and lived is a vowel gets the N.

Exactly, but over there, because they don't pronounce the H in history, they, historic, historic in it. So we can just use N whenever we want. No, no, no, I think here H, I think anything within H is N, like, what's another word that starts with an H? It's been an honor.

Nevermind. Guys, come on. What are we, this has been bad. An hockey team. Also, across the pond they call we, this has been bad. Anokite. Also, across the pond they call it H. That's true. And Zed. It's been an honor.

Yeah, an honor is probably the best example. Anona, in it. It's a colon and a semicolon is just, you know. I do like a semicolon. But I feel like a semicolon's more than a colon, right? Semi implies it'd be less than. I gotta wrangle this. But it's larger than a colon. A colon Semi implies it'd be less than. I gotta wrangle this. But it's larger than a colon.

A colon is two dots, but a semicolon's a dot in the little comma, which is larger. But semi implies to me smaller. We got to get to this. Sorry. Philip Buster long enough. I'm of course talking about the Darren Waller video. I haven't seen someone take an L like that

in a long time, folks. Holy shit. Did you guys see this? The Darren Waller video? To set it up, Darren Waller is a football player who used to be married to Kelsey Plumb, the WNBA player. They had a divorce about a month ago. Yes, and Kelsey posted this when the divorce,

she announced it, she said, I'm devastated, I walked through fire for that man, but now I see it's time to go. God is giving me an incredible life, and I'm truly so grateful for the profound love from my family and friends. One day I'll share my story, today is not that day. Thank you for the grace to process my pain,

to forgive and move forward. Today and every day, I will continue to choose joy." And Darren released a statement of his own in the form of a music video. Can we play some of that? ["You Know It Like That"] video. Can we play some of that? I feel heartbroken in return, but it's time. This is something I could definitely see Kenny Powers doing for April, right? Yes.

Just a whole music video. I love the fake Kelsey Plum also. The fake Kelsey Plum is the most egregious part, I would argue. Is it? Well, it's all pretty bad. The singing is pretty egregious. I haven't heard someone rely on autotune like that. Are you sure he's using it? Good point, Chris. May is just an amazing, has amazing vocal control. Did they live in a trailer in the middle of a field? It was Vegas.

On a beach also? Finish the sentence, Shar. You haven't heard auto-tune like that since the big game musical. Thank you for finishing the sentence. No, I mean, it's one thing for T-Pain to do it, but he's actually an unbelievable musician. Another thing for Darren Waller.

I'm trying to think of the thought process, right? Did he break up with a Jeep? What is this? Yeah, she's driving down the road in a yellow Jeep, and he's singing to her. That does kind of sound like Post, if that Post were like post-traumatic. Ah, well done. Wow, Zing. The thing that I just don't understand is how many people had to be involved in the

creation of this that at no point told him, buddy, you gotta stop. You can't do this. He doesn't look sad while singing about heartbreak. Kind of like he's smirking the whole time. He looks happy. Can we play the end though? Yeah, the ending is what we really need to do. Most people didn't see the ending because they usually.

I almost didn't watch it all the way through and I was like, let me see what this is about and I'm glad I did because they're on a beach. He puts his arm around her they're both wearing white which is a big tell like if you're a wrestling fan if there's an in-ring promo where both people are wearing white you know there's gonna be blood for real oh yeah huge telly she stabs him in the back folks with what looks like he's going like a cheese mass on what's a No, you would think it's ass on here, because he's dead lying on the shore.

But then a pesky wave comes and interferes with his face. And he's supposed to lie still, but he just reacts to it. He planks and spits water out. So on Cinephobe, we did this movie called Fallen with Denzel Washington and John Goodman. And in the scene, Denzel's brother dies but Zack swears that the corpse is breathing and he says pretty much the only thing you have to nail

when you're playing dead is you can't be breathing. No, that's sort of the hallmark of being dead is that you're not breathing. You're not breathing. This feels like big wide receiver energy to me but Darren Waller's a tight end. What do we think folks? You're not breathing. This feels like big wide receiver energy to me, but Darren Waller's a tight end. What do we think, folks?

This is, oh wow. Those worlds have merged. Similar? Have we reached that point where wide receivers and tight ends are- We used to live in a country where wide receiver meant something. Just check fantasy drafts. I mean, they're merged.

Check salaries, though. He's getting stabbed in the back, gonna affect his fantasy stock, you know what I mean? It really changes the narrative though, because he's implying that he was stabbed in the back. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. And that was not the narrative going into those. He was definitely the big winner yesterday

of the Trump verdict because I thought I just completely forgot about this. I think I saw it after so this is what imprinted on me. By the way this was a reaction to the Trump verdict. This was Waller's actual Instagram caption announcing that this video was coming. On February 3rd I felt a strong conviction to do something different.

I'd never written a song from the perspective of someone else until this. There's something extremely valuable and quite humbling, LOL, about putting yourself in the shoes of those you have been intimate with and taking an honest look at yourself. The only result possible is growth. Wait, wait, wait, so is he saying

that he in this situation is Kelsey Plumb? Yes. So he stabbed her in the back. So that's what he's saying here. No. Why wouldn't you act that out? You guys are bearing the lead. That was from February.

This is the byproduct of several months of work. The music industry takes a long time. The song he wrote, the song came out a while ago. The video just came out. So the video was several months ago. We wrote that musical in seven days. Did you have a video, did you shoot something on the beach though?

I feel like weather played a part here. We did, but that took a few months. The name of the song is Who Knew? Her Perspective. Oh, well I guess the optics of him stabbing the fake Kelsey Plum in the back on the beach would not have been great. Chess, not checkers.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. But now the metaphor is very muddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait, wait. But now the metaphor is very muddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm confused. Lucy, you're shaking your head. Men should just not speak for women, ever. This is just so bad. I would do anything to have been in the room with Kelsey Plum yesterday when her phone started blowing up.

They're like, you've got to see this. Just the vindication she must have felt. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Here's the thing, though. Even if. I thought I loved her, man.. Sorry Chris, I didn't mean to talk over that. Sorry. You kept talking though. Sorry, listen. Here's the thing.

Even if you are no longer with this man, this is very embarrassing. Because you once were with this man. If I'm Kelsey Plumb, I would have been like, ah. You know, cause you want to think that she saw it and laughed and was like, oh, I really came out the winner in this thing. But she still had to be like, yes, we were married cause you wanna think that she saw it and laughed and was like, oh, I really came out the winner in this thing,

but she still had to be like, yes, we were married. That is my ex-husband. It, men are embarrassing, sorry. She also had that like cringey popcorn, like meme that was going around. And I'm wondering if this is now blowing that, like now we've forgotten about that. Cause like I was just imagining her watching it

like as that popcorn thing, which was not the best. Maybe she was though. Icecats. Yeah, so we're, all right, no Trumps yet. I'll wait. Oh wait. I'll wait on the Trump stuff. Yeah, hockey.

I gotta do some homework. And hockey game happened last night. Hockey game? Yeah, very exciting hockey game, especially if you're a Panthers fan. The Panthers are a win away from reaching back to back Stanley Cup finals, back to back Jack. And I thought New York played really well.

Their top six, they came out firing. That's the best that their top six has looked. Panera, I thought, was especially frisky in the first period. But the story of the entire series is Florida's much better five on five and they grew into the game. Shusterkin was once again incredible. I think Florida kind of got a little lucky in this game even though I'm

admitting they were the better team. There's been a lot of luck I think on the New York side even though they don't want to see that they've scored some absolute worldies. They've actually played a pretty good series from the point of view of if you're going into that series thinking that you're not as good as Florida was. And I don't think that this is their mindset, but let's just say they realize that quickly in game one. Okay, our identity is our goalie's gonna save our ass by being a world beater. We're gonna get short-handed goals

because we have this impenetrable blue line on the penalty kill. Really great weapon for them. And we're gonna score worldies. They've been that the entire series. And that is how you steal a series away from a better team. Yet Florida just appears to be that much better so far. Shusterkin though, it's just, it's crazy how great

he's been and we're still up in this series. Usually the way he's played in this series, even with how well the Panthers have played, usually the Rangers are up in this series in hockey. I feel great being able to be up 3-2 right now because Shusterkin has been amazing. It's not often that you get this far where the other, Florida hasn't had a goalie advantage in my mind

in any of these series. And I think even though Bob had really good moments yesterday, there were a lot of big juicy rebounds again. And I know the ice quality, both teams play on the ice so I always kind of find that a weird explanation. But there were some very fortunate moments there for Florida where a big juicy rebound would be there for a New York Rangers player and it'd hop over their stick and also,

I gotta tell you, I think they, the Panthers got a gift from the Stripes. That should have been a five on three. That was a very weak roughing call on Mikhaela. Against my better judgment, what is a worldie? An all-world goal. Like, that's a soccer term, you don't really hear it. Is it?

Like, you hear bar down as a term when someone shoots from bar down. Yeah, right. Like it's an impossible angle. And New York's had a lot of worldies so far in this series, but that is also a team that has scored two goals at home so far. And that is not what their reputation was entering this.

It's almost as if they fell victim to what happened in that Carolina series where they were just so great on the power play that they're just waiting around on the fringes for Florida to make a mistake. I've listened to quite a few Rangers podcasts and they're like, isn't this the most penalized team in the NHL? Well, two things happen. They call the games a little bit differently in the postseason and also Florida is a lot more disciplined.

They're not playing the same guys that would get all the penalties for them. They're playing a more disciplined game, but it's almost as if they're waiting around hoping that they'll get the power play to not stretch their defense. And I gotta say, crash the net, make some things happen over here. It is really frustrating if you're a New York Rangers fan to see no bodies in front of Sergey Bobrovsky

when he's giving up these big rebounds. I'd be really frustrated. I'm just glad you didn't say world these nuts. I'm gonna ask what a worldie is. The Panthers power kill to me has been the difference because all we talked about coming into the series was how great the Rangers power play was. So the power kill for the Panthers

has been the difference I think. How does it feel, my fault, sorry about that. How does it feel? Because last year it felt like this is a Cinderella story, this team making an improbable run. And it's like, you know the feeling of your team, hey we didn't expect to be here, but now we're here, oh my God, we could go all the way. Now we're the deep roster. Now you're the team, you improbable run. And it's like, you know the feeling of your team, hey, we didn't expect to be here, but now we're here, oh my god, we could go all the way.

Now we're the deep roster. Now you're the team, you're the guys now. This isn't Cinderella, this is. Dallas would be a deeper, like, I think there are three teams that could lay claim to maybe deepest team in the league. Florida, Dallas, who's still alive, and Vegas, who Dallas beat in seven games

in the first round are all pretty deep. That'd be a really interesting series from a depth perspective, and also. From a depth perception perspective. Yeah. I would think Dallas would also have the goalie advantage, too, if that were the series. Skinner, for Edmonton, would probably be the one lone time

that Florida has a goalie advantage in this entire playoff. Skinner! Backstreet's back, alright! Since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the best way to grill. One thing not up for debate, grilling and beer always go together. But not just any beer would do. Whether you barbecue, text in style, or just celebrate Wednesday with burgers and dogs,

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What was that voice? A Celtics fan. That was a Celtics fan? Well, it was me. Stugats. Oh, it's amazing. It's amazing to see the mask pulled off and to see you so clearly.

You were in such good disguise, and I didn't know it was you. But then- It's to me, I'm a Celtics fan. This is the Don LeBathard Show with the Stugats. Man, I was looking up, because I do want to go to a final game if we make it. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I was looking at flights.

Edmonton's far, huh? Don't know where it is. It's like eight, I'm seeing a lot of eight plus hours on these flights. You want to guess a province? Edmonton's far, huh? Don't know where it is. It's like eight, I'm seeing a lot of eight plus hours on these flights. Can we do the map bit with Charlotte that we tried to do with Dan when we wanted him to name the states in the Midwest?

Can we do it with states in the Midwest too? Yeah, we can. Oh, this would be fun. Oh, it's embarrassing because this is a bit that Jess and I have had going back years, like multiple, like at least five years. And in that time, knowing that I don't know what the states in the middle of the country are,

I have not thought to maybe study. Like maybe I should learn them, maybe if we do this again, partly because I think the bit is so much funnier when I just don't know them. Video team, get a completely empty map of North America. And put it on the LED screen. Do we get to see the borders at least? Yes.

Oh, this would be easy. Well for you. That would be a weird map without them. Maps, map, hear me out. You could have just a map of the US. You know what, no borders. Let's just do blank North America. I can't do that.

But then you just point to an area and you're like there's Arizona. One wall, please. No, I feel like maps for me are a lot like math. Wow. Does that make sense to anybody else? Yeah, we'll start with math. No, no, no, because they're-

It's in Alberta. It both start with math. That doesn't help me. Wait, are we doing Canada also? Edmonton is in Canada. Don't shh! I know that Edmonton is in Canada. Are we doing the Canada map thing

and the Canada map thing and the Midwest map thing? Whatever you wanna do, Charlotte. Do you know Canada? Do you know the provinces of Canada? We should have you both point where you think Edmonton is. I think that would be.

Oh, that's a good one, yeah. Amin knows where it is. I know where it is. I know where Edmonton is because I am, as everyone knows, a man of culture. And the world. And the world, and particularly Canada. I love you Canada, where's my camera?

I love you Canada. Why? Because they're awesome up there. They're so nice and so clean, and sometimes they do blackface on their Prime Minister, but that's a completely different story for another time. Aside from that, this is wicked. Is Drake their Prime Minister?

That's true. One last thing on hockey, because I don't wanna hog this, and I appreciate the vine with the cast of Oddball here, but I'm pretty excited about the NBA finals. What? But it does feel like Gustav Forsling is finally getting national attention for his play. And this is with him making an uncharacteristically bad play that Florida ended up surviving,

but you're seeing what he can do on offense. Jovo and then Mark Messier on the national broadcasts has compared this guy to Nick Lidstrom. He is an incredible player, he is locked in, and an absurd five million dollars annually. They've locked him up. You think he's regretting that yet? Dude, he's having a great playoffs

and he signed that right before the playoffs started. When Nurse is pulling down 12 million next season, Forsling right now, for my money, is probably the leader for Con Smythe, which is the most outstanding player of the playoffs. He does a lot of things that don't show up in the in the stat sheet. There was one penalty kill in particular where he just did so well to close off passing lanes by contorting his body and stretching out his stick. This is a New York Rangers team that has to, has to start putting pucks on Bob because a big part of

Bob's weakness are those rebounds. Crash the net and put some pucks on for the love of God. Pucks on Bob sounds like you know that children's book, Hop on Pop? No, I don't. Well, I do. I do. Wait, why are you giving the Rangers advice right now? Yeah, well I kind of got frustrated listening

to New York Rangers' podcast because they were just complaining about officiating. I'm like, I get that with the last series and that was like a whole thing. I don't really see that here. But teams that are so dependent on the power play, and we saw this with Tampa Bay, they just want more of them.

They want more advantages. I mean, it's not really a story. To me, like you had odd man rushes. There was a three on two where the center man pulled to where the puck handling winger was against the boards. Go to the net, New York. Maybe they don't want to

because they don't trust their defense. And truth be told, they have a pretty big injury with Adam Fox. He just, we'll probably find out after the playoffs. He's got like some major damage to his knee. Yeah, where it's just parenthetically lower body. after the playoffs, he's got some major damage to his knee. Classic hockey. Like a shattered steamer. Where it's just parenthetically lower body. Both of his legs fell off and they taped him on.

Yeah, but he is truly hurt. He does not look like that. He's only had seven points this postseason. I do think that that one matters, but overall Florida's a better team. The enthusiasm with which Mike talks about the Stanley Cup playoffs, right? Stanley Cup playoffs. Yeah, it's because I keep, is the whole thing the Stanley Cup playoffs, right? Stanley Cup playoffs.

Yeah, it's the whole thing, the Stanley Cup finals, or just the finals? The finals is the Stanley Cup finals, I believe. What do they call the entire? The Stanley Cup final, NBA finals, NHL finals, Stanley Cup finals. But what do they call the entire playoffs? They don't just call it playoffs.

NHL playoffs? Stanley Cup? Stanley Cup playoffs? It's the Stanley Cup playoffs. They call it that for the entire thing, not just the final, right? But the enthusiasm with which you speak. Confusing like that with the World Cup too. Where like, what most people think

is the beginning of the tournament is actually the finals. Like the group stage is considered the World Cup finals because it's a two year process. Yes, but the final is the one where someone actually wins. That's just to make the crappy teams feel better. Speaking of words, I love how confidently hockey fans pronounce the names of players on all of the teams.

Because you know there's a moment when these guys come into the league where everyone's like, ah, how do we say that? And then the way Mike's just rattling off these names. There's a lot of difficult ones. And it's not like I figured it out on my own. It's because I was pronouncing it like chidle for a long time before I found out it was like hedle. Yeah, I just think it's nice to.

We have a little update here. We have a map. Okay. We're going to put it up for Charlotte will go first. Okay. You don't have to be, it's like GeoGuessr. Do we want to do this right now or wait till after the break? Charlotte will go first. You don't have to be, it's like GeoGuessr. Just stay as close as you can. Do we want to do this right now or wait

till after the break? Let's preview it, don't do it yet, but just keep it on the board. There are no borders there. I want people to take a look at what we're working with. I don't have a laptop. She's gonna cheat. Or imitating life.

No, no, no, no, no. There you go, good call. So for the audio listeners, what they have on our LED screen behind us is a massive blank map of the US and Canada. Now there are borders, Charlotte. I can show you. What is it called, the 40-inch parallel?

Yeah, I know there's the border between America and Canada. But the Great Lakes took over part of Canada. Wait, how did Cuba crack this, but not Mexico? Or Hawaii. Lewis, did you draw this? Yeah, but not Mexico It's pretty good freehand I mean Greenland is in this image Let me get you a sharpie so you can not Mexican is I think I see the dinosaur from Rugrats up top there somewhere How am I supposed to do this without any lines telling me where stuff is well? There's a line telling you where USA ends and Canada begins. You see Greenland? I think Charlotte will be fairly generous

if you're in the ballpark because I don't think we know exactly where it is either. Okay, so this is actually to my advantage. The ignorance of everybody in this room. Are the Great Lakes international water? Do they belong to the US or Canada? Yeah, there's like a border that goes between one of them, right?

Yeah, the northernmost one, which I think is Superior? Lake Superior. Why are the lakes not on that map? Well, why aren't the lakes part of America then? Charlotte, can you find the beach that Darren Waller recorded that music video? Yes, that I can do. I don't know where Edmonton is,

but I do know where Darren Waller recorded that it feels Feels like Florida no Greenland being on that map of just reminds me to tell you all that Greenland applied for Conca Calf, but they're not even a country they applied for Conca Calf They belong to Denmark really yeah, Greenland They were shut out of UEFA because I guess you have to have a certain number of Facilities yeah, so they have applied to CONCACAF. But they're not even a country. They're an autonomous territory.

Remember when Donald Trump was like, let's just buy Greenland. I was, I mean look. That was one of the like, that's one of those spitballs that, let's hear, let's hear my guy out. Yeah, let's hear him. Let's see where he's going with this one.

I like the cut of his jib on this one. Can't be more ridiculous in Alaska, really. What's that? It's not more ridiculous in Alaska. It's just like from a military strategic standpoint, you do the same things with Greenland than you did with Alaska. You can see Russia from there.

You can. I don't, where is it? Well, not on that map. Yeah, Russia's not on that map. Russia doesn't exist. We should get Russia on that map. Yeah, Russia's not on that map. Oh. Russia doesn't exist. We should get Russia on that map. Canada and Russia. Looks hard as luck.

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I don't care for him, and I hope he has the day he deserves. Oh! Wow! Let's see! Stugatz. I hope he has the day he deserves. That's how I get people when they're really mean to me.

I'm not like, go F yourself. I'm like, I hope you have the day you deserve. I think it's so much like, it twists and I think. It's a great kind insult, yes. It's beautiful. It's leaving it to the cosmos to sort it out. That's a less southern bless your heart. This is the Don LeBathard Show with the Stugarts.

We're going to talk about the NBA finals in a second, but first we've got to get to the bottom of this map situation. So, Charlotte, you had a whole little segment break there to focus in all of your energy. I didn't cheat. I didn't open my computer. I sat here staring into the void because I know that I'm about to embarrass myself. I did open my computer

because I wanted to know about the Great Lakes. Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake entirely in the United States. And that's my home lake. There it is. I. Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake entirely in the United States. And that's my home lake. There it is. So that's special to me. I like Lake Michigan. Do people, I was in Chicago for the pre-draft camp.

What do I do with this? Draw on the board. I can draw on the board? No, don't listen to me. Billy! Billy! Oh, you're trying to get me fired! Oh, that's diabolical.

Give you a dry erase marker for a That is... That's dry erase. The marker. Can you, someone Google, can you dry erase a video board? Don't. Okay, that's a no from the video team, so no, Charlotte, throw that marker. What do they know? That would have been...

Ask the board team. If you guys hadn't told me that, that would have been an unbelievable content moment. That would have been an expensive moment of content. I was in Chicago for the pre-draft camp, Jessica, and my hotel was overlooking the lake, and I saw that there's a little kind of beach kind of area. Do people actually go and swim?

Oh, yeah. Growing up, we used to swim. There's a bunch of beaches. Oak Street Beach is really popular, the North Avenue Beach. And Charlotte and I, when we went, actually, Charlotte, segue here, actually Charlotte, segue here, because yesterday HBO announced

that the Bears are gonna be on Hard Docks. And their promotional image. Oh, I thought you meant for a second, I thought you meant the Bear, like the TV show. The show is gonna be on Hard Docks. That would also be great. The promotional image had the bean, but it was Photoshopped and it was the shape of a football.

And it was awesome. And Charlotte and I went to Chicago, we did a video with Julie Ertz, probably like six years ago now. And I took her to the bean, and she didn't know what the bean was. And oh my, Charlotte's reaction to the bean was just, her mind was blown. I had to sit down, I started hyperventilating.

There was something really magical about the bean. I can't explain it. What? She started crying at the bean. I did not cry. You teared up, I have pictures of it. What? She started crying at the bean. I did not cry. You teared up, I have pictures of it on my phone. Jess is coming with receipts today, this is dangerous.

You know, when Julie fell and scraped a knee, Juliet's every time in it. Charlotte, get up, walk to the board. What am I doing? Leave the marker. Take your marker. Leave the marker. You're, walk to the board. What am I doing? Leave the marker. Take your marker. Leave the marker. Leave the marker. You're gonna walk to this board

and you're gonna try to point out, first of all, let's start with some softballs before we go right to the tough stuff. A laser pointer would crush her. A laser pointer would have been awesome, but you know what? All right, where is Miami on this map, Charlotte? All right.

Should we give her maybe Post-It notes, stickies? Ooh, yeah. She has pointed to the bottom tip of Florida. That's great. That was more Port St. Lucie, but it was good. I'm just trying to describe this for the podcast listeners. All right. She pointed to Port St. Lucie.

All right. You should have pointed to Cuba. Truthfully, that's a better gag. Charlotte Wilder, you live in New York City. Where is New York City on this map? Oh. Oh, and now you've got a microphone. And some Post-It notes. Look at that, where the show is. Charlotte Wilder, you live in New York City. Where is New York City on this map? Oh! Oh, and now you've got a microphone. And some Post-It notes, look at that!

Where the show's off. No, no, no, no, no, no, I can't, but that's too final. I like where I can sort of point and, is this working? Can you guys hear me? Yeah, we can hear you just fine. Oh, folks, welcome to the Charlotte Wilder variety hour. Can you grab your headphones? Let's see how far those things can stretch.

She can't hear us. You should probably put your headphones on. Hold on, they're taking her in a headset. Well, it's all right. Wireless. No, no, no, they're gonna get should probably put your headphones on. Hold on, they're taking her in a headset. Well, it's all right. Wireless. No, no, no, they're gonna get you a headset. They got you a what? They're gonna get you a headset.

It's a professional operation. I just need you to point out where New York City is as they get you a headset right now. Shout out to GQ. Oh wow, thank you so much GQ. There it is. So, Charlotte's putting on her headset. She's got her wireless mic.

I feel like I'm an auctioneer. I'm like, and... Do they wear headsets? I don't know, Chris. If you were an auctioneer. I'm like, and. Do they wear headsets? I don't know, Chris. If you were an auctioneer, how much do you think Greenland would go for? At least $50. Yeah.

Puerto Rico didn't make this and they're actually a part of the US. I can get it for 25. Well, they'd be off the map. I mean, but Cuba is there and Hawaii isn't. Quick little thing here. This map, I'm gonna say, might not have been the best choice for this

because we've got a situation here. I know this is Maine. That's where you're from, Northland. Yeah, Maine usually isn't tilted this way. And so this- A little more erect than usual. I think this is Cape Cod and I think that this is Long Island,

but that is not really how close together those things are. Well, Charlotte, so far, so good. You have that nuance. Yeah, because I'm on the East Coast. Okay, that's why. Don't move me inland. That's why these are softballs.

All right, one last East Coast one. Where is Washington, D.C., our nation's capital? She's pointing. Like here? That's more Baltimore. Little north. How is everybody seeing what this map is? Because I see where Long Island is.

Okay, so if Long Island's here, what is that? That's Maryland, that's where Baltimore is. This is objectively a bad map. It's a terrible map. This is making my, this is good for me though, actually. DC is like, eh. So the Dallas Mavericks are going to the NBA finals to play against your Boston Celtics.

Where is Dallas? Here. Ooh. Mid-Texas? No, actually. Just do more general pointing. Texas, Dallas is in Texas. Everybody knows that.

You were kind of pointing to San Antonio. Dallas is in Texas though. Have you guys ever seen an Australian map? Yes, I have. Google Australian map. Like a map of Australia? No, no like an Australian version of the map. Yeah, you gotta look it up.

Oh, it's inverted? You gotta look up an Australian map and then we should do this on an Australian map because then things will get fucked. Do you guys ever look at the maps where they adjust the countries based off of their actual size? Oh my God, it will blow your mind.

Canada, not that big. Guys, Pangeaa am I right? Pangea if you go to Maine if anyone ever goes to Maine on the coast of Maine there are rocks that match up to the coast of Portugal Wow It would fit yeah Google it Chris Wow So Charlotte are you guys worried that like we're gonna spread too far apart and then crash into each other on the other end Terrified of it every time. Yeah, I worry about it. If like today's the day we crash tectonic plates. Oh Not a fan. I'm not a fan top five top five plate tectonic Those flowered ones that your grandmother has and also is that like hip new restaurants. Hot plates.

Hot plates, nice. Plates in the gym. Yeah. Spinning a lot of plates in the air if you're busy. Where is Edmonton? Yes. Huh. I was trying to gently lead her there.

We're going to get there, don't worry. We're going to talk about plates and stuff. By the way, the University of North Texas is in Dallas, so Dallas would be in Northern Texas. Well, wait a second, the University of South Florida's in Tampa. Yeah. Look, man. Yeah.

It's Florida, though. And I know where Tampa is, for sure. Charlotte, where is Chicago on this map where your good friend Jess claims to be from, among other places So this map is sort of throwing me off. I'm not gonna lie cuz I don't really know what's going on here I want to say Chicago's here. No here better. Yes That's like you're pointing to a Cleveland ish area thatish area. Why don't we have any other lakes? If there's a lake, look for the mistake near it.

Nice. There is no glove, or oven mitt, that's true. Yeah, the oven mitt, like, makes, it unlocks the entire map for me. Did you know that? Do you guys, okay, can everyone level with me for a second? Do you look at this map and you're like, oh yeah, I for sure know where stuff is.

Yes. I think that someone's playing a joke on us. And I fell for one of these things on social media. It's like Americans don't even know what this country is. And it was a country that was like sandwiched between England and France. I was like, what the hell is this? Yeah.

Oh, is that a real place? Did you know East Carolina University's in North Carolina? Yeah, it's not in East Carolina. Should be in East Carolina. Wow. It's not in East Carolina. Should be in East Carolina. Wow. It's not even that eastern. It's like closer to the middle of the state. It's in Greenville.

Terrible town, by the way. I've been to Greenville. Where is it on the map? Show us where you went. Charlotte, let's move north of the border. You know, not bad. Your middle finger is not that far from it. If I put my hand sort of wide enough on the map.

Charlotte, let's move north of the border. Do you know where Vancouver is? Yes. Where's Vancouver? That's how you play the game. She literally just spread her hand across the entirety of Canada. It's on the western side.

Yeah. The western side of Canada. Vancouver might be the actual easiest city to point out on this map. Yes, absolutely. Their logo has orcas on it, which would to point out on this map. Yes, absolutely. Their logo has orcas on it, which would imply they're on the water.

Ha. What? What? I know they're on the water. I'm pointing to the end of the land. You're at Alaska right now and that's not it. Yes, that's Alaska right there. So like here.

Yeah, the general Cascadia region. Sort of more south than Alaska. Yes, it is actually right across the border from the United States on the western coast. Someone should get them an MBA team. For real, I support that. All right, Charlotte, here comes a million dollar question. Where in Canada is Edmonton?

And don't just point to the entirety of Canada. Is it right here? Holy shit. She's honestly closer to Edmonton than she was to Vancouver. Absolutely. I feel like you're in Saskatchewan right now. This has been a long con

because I actually do know where Edmonton is. Oh yeah? No. Absolutely not, no idea. But that felt like where it would be if I actually do know where Edmonton is. Oh yeah? No. Absolutely not, no idea. But that felt like where it would be if I were to know where it was. I'd give that like a B minus. So where is it?

Direct me. A little bit, take a couple steps here, right? Yeah, right around there. Just draw a circle around that area, and you got it. With the marker? No, not with the marker. Yeah, so like right.

See if it works. Do not do that. Yeah, but it's true, right? What your friend Priya sent you? That it's the longest possible distance for a Stanley Cup final, Edmonton and Florida. No way! Because Florida's the most southern, most NHL franchise,

and Edmonton is the most southern. I wasn't properly guessing, like, maybe Vancouver, Florida would be, but no, when you consider how north Edmonton is, the distance is greater. So question, how does one fly there? Are there direct flights from? On a plane. A lot of Denver connects through my research.

There are no direct flights out of Miami, ever, anywhere. Yeah. Sorry. There are to hub cities. Yeah. Miami to Dallas, that'd be a good one. Backstreet's back, all right. Since the dawn of mankind,

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