The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: You're Not Dead! You're Not Dead!

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

Today's cast: Dan, Stugotz, Chris, Billy, Jeremy, Jessica, and Lucy. Our fearless leader wants to know where to start today's show, but there's only one place to begin today: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAN! Josh Allen may be the best QB Chris Cote has ever seen, Tyreek Hill may be washed, and Myles Garrett may have lost an eye ball. Then, Dan names Jessica the new "Commissioner of When The Season Is Over" for specific teams across the NFL. Plus, Drew Lock had a Thanksgiving, RedZone is no longer commercial free, Super Bowl LIX, and Lucy is sick of Billy and Stugotz complaining about being tired. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show. Shadow Show.

Shadow in it. Shadow in it. Jessica's getting her lips painted. Painted? That's not the term for that. Ha ha ha. Sticked? What is the verb?

What is the? I would just say like getting your lips done or putting lipstick on. Painted is, that's a new one. I've never heard that. OK. Can you guys tell me how you would start the show if you were me?

I don't know where to start. Today's my birthday. I would start with Josh Allen being the best quarterback that I've ever seen. Oh my God, he's so good. Maybe the Dolphins and their consistent and forever mediocrity. I don't ever want to talk about that team again.

Yeah, me either. I don't care about them, but it feels like the place we're supposed to start was South Florida Show. I'd start with the tic-tac ban What I'm going through some things personally right now, and it's just that they're banning tic-tac I don't want to get up in the morning. The sun's not shining as bright the birds are no longer chirping They're trying to take away our precious tic-tac. I would start with the pop-tart bowl as a real toaster this year That's so sick

You have to plug it in or it's like on charge Plug it in plug it in investigate You guys battery powered or not guys haven't made fun of Mike yet for the pop tart bowl you guys That's a very prestigious. It is a prestige bowl Dan. I thank you Lucy I think the name Pop-Tart Bowl. Like you just can't feel good about that. Even if it's a prestigious bowl, you don't feel good about it. I did it on social media, but I refuse to add him because I'm scared.

Yeah, we're all a little scared of him. I'm actually interested Lucy in the TikTok addiction. You are officially so addicted that if they take this thing from you, it is a source of stimuli. Unlike any other, right right because it's just It it's the more aggressive addiction than any of the social medias. Is it not it definitely is now I'm very sad about the tick-tock ban happening

But I have a personal goal to watch all the tick-tocks ever made before they get rid of the app So it's just scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll It's I feel like I'm losing a part of me and it's really, really sad. Tick-tock is just better than the other ones. Like you say it's the most addicting. It's just the best. Oh my God. It knows me.

My tick-tock knows me. There's this great trend right now and it's of this muppet and it's singing. It's singing like a prayer by Madonna. It's just people talking about incredibly embarrassing things that have happened to them. And there's this one girl and she was talking about, she's olive oil girl and she put an olive oil hair mask in and then all the olive oil like fell out and she like fell in the middle of the night and set off their security alarm and

her dad came out and he was super, super pissed and she was like, no, I'm so sorry. And then the security alarm went off so she went back to bed and then a bunch of the cops showed up, all because she did an olive oil hair mask. And the water was out Lucy, so she couldn't wash it out of her hair, and then she had to go to school with a saran wrap on her head.

Rock and roll. You can't get that anywhere else. The painted smile on Jessica's face as Lucy yammered. This is the Dan LeBattor Show with the StuGots Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

We are awaiting Billy and StuGots who are going to bomb in from God Bless Football getting out a lot of content early because football gave us so much to talk about yesterday and I don't know how you guys feel about this, what I'm about to say, but I'm a little bit ashamed that the feeling that swept over me yesterday was a combination of, oh my God, this is the coolest. Three dudes have just straight up punched a football, just throwing punches on the field. They're knocking the football out. Oh, there's a couple of fat guy touchdowns.

Isn't that delightful? Oh, and also a couple of guys dropping the ball right before the goal line, just giving away these touchdowns that all these people are fighting over while throwing punches. And in the middle of it I'm like to don't run headfirst to stop it's not worth it you're six and seven we all see you're

not that close that team closer than you're close look out to be careful I love that character whatever it is tell Tell me you didn't feel that. The announcers are doing it, everyone's doing it. He runs in the open field. And I hesitate to laugh about this because yesterday Grant Dubose has taken off the field in a stretcher and he's shirtless and he's taken his helmet off and you're horrified and then let's go out to Jacksonville where the Jets are in the red zone. Where Mac Jones is doing a spin move and then there's go out to Jacksonville where the Jets are in the red zone. Where Mac Jones is doing a spin move

and then there is face celebration. Mac Jones is doing finger guns, what's going on? Dan, that voice sounded like you doing an impression of Charlie Kravitz doing you. An inception of impressions. Kravitz, can you guys get me the sound of that? He does a good whiny me. What are we gonna do about that, by the way?

Someone needs to put their foot down. He's just being straight up disrespectful now. Well, we've got beef. We've got legitimate beef, so we'll get to that in a second. I just didn't wanna be too publicly offended in a way that, you know. I'll be offended for you. Okay, help me there.

I need. Damn you, Charlie. I need the protection. It's really funny. In the middle of all that yesterday, so I'm watching over here. Here's a 300 pound guy doing a backflip Over here. Here's a patriot He is a pantomime in doing a fencing move while he throws gets a flag thrown at his feet because he just horse-collared And none of it counts so and I'm watching like all this dance of these violent, the violent giants, enjoying Aaron Rodgers rushing for 45 yards, six carries for 45 yards, enjoying the football of it all.

And in the middle of it, there are the Miami Dolphins having us argue in a six and eight season about whether the interceptions were Tyreek Hill's fault or were they too his fault as another season falls by the wayside with a Jason Sanders missed extra point that now only makes me think of Billy. Do you know how funny it is that Jason Sanders exists as a guy who only makes all the field goals, all the 50 yarders, but misses extra points in a way that makes me think of you every time because you question him,

even though he's great at everything but extra points. I don't understand it because he really, like, can't kick extra points for some reason, which are like the gimmies, but he'll hit every single field goal. And the thing about him missing the extra points is like, it's just like a slow bleed, where then you're playing and you're like,

oh, now we need a two point conversion if we even get the touchdown and then we're pressing and then they don't get the touchdown and then they don't get the touchdown because two every time he touches the ball he's throwing interceptions but it's actually Tyree Kill's fault if you believe what it is that the Dolphins fans say

because no one wants to blame two for anything which I'm starting to catch on to. But you couldn't blame me yesterday, I mean that's Tyree Kill's fault. I mean you need two hands on the ball. If one hand's on the ball you have to make the catch Two hands on the ball. How do you have someone take it away? Tyree kill Tyree kill? Might be washed. No

Maybe they didn't say no Maybe they're needed to treat him at the deadline and get anything you possibly can for him because he is not What Billy Happy birthday Billy you can't What? Billy. Hey, happy birthday. Billy, you can't storm in here. Hey, happy birthday. Thank you, that was very good, hold on. Happy birthday to him.

I don't care, good luck. I'm not good at birthdays. Successful deflection. How do you be, how are you, How does one be good at a birthday? Because you got older so I feel like you checked the one box. You understand why? Are you all good at birthdays? You all walk right into your birthdays and are just like shower me? Yeah I love praise. I don't think there's a way to be good at birthdays. I think it's your birthday, you can cry if you want to.

Just by showing up. You're not dead. I mean, that's it. Happy birthday to you, man. You got it. You're not dead. You're not dead. You're not dead.

You're not dead. You're not dead. A wonderful, mortal, dark humor. Not yet, I'm not. You have not killed me yet. By singing that instead of happy birthday as you should have it was there something planned for me because I got here a little late and so I sort of ran through it and I just

Lewis threw a tepid happy birthday and I thought maybe I missed what was supposed to what would you like planned for you boss we just did it I mean Billy you cannot just storm in here after God bless Football with Tyreek Hill is washed under your breath. He didn't say that. I didn't say that, I said happy birthday. What were you guys doing over at God Bless Football? Were you doing that? Did you accuse Tyreek Hill of being washed over there?

Because no one's doing that, no one yet has gotten to the trough of Dolphin Football and quit so thoroughly on this season that you're already at tyree kill is washed and the newspaper columnists are writing fire kriski greer which is not something like a white man i haven't seen a lot of that in our market where it's just like i have not in our market the newspaper people saying fire the guy who runs the

dolphins that i i know that's common for the day and everyone doesn't sports radio we've made that common in uh... on television but the local newspaper columnist writing fire the power of the dolphins based off that game is all shouting blow it all up well yes yet no and then we we i mean on this show we fired chris career about a month and a half ago so welcome to the party newspaper come on get the time then uh... yes we did on Godless Football

about this game, so we play a game called We Good on Godless Football, spoiler alert, you can check that out today, and here's how We Good works. Basically give you the score of a game and just say, We Good, like we don't need to talk about that game, that game was just like a nothing game, because there's so many football games, but some of them are not good games,

just like, eh, We Good? So I snuck the Dolphins game into We Good, because I just didn't want to talk about the Dolphins game because I didn't like how that went. And it didn't make me feel good. So I said, you know what, we good? Dolphins 12, Texans 20, we good? Okay, let's talk about all of this.

No, no, we said we good. We said we good, we didn't talk about it earlier. I'm not, I don't want to talk about the Dolphins. I want you guys, if you'd like, to run me off of the Dolphins, you may, because there is plenty that I do wanna talk about from yesterday. I did not know that the eye gouge could be so successful

that Miles Garrett would react like that, where I was thinking that his eyeball was on the field, like on the movie Any Given Sunday. Like, if you tell me that that is how Miles Garrett reacts to pain, when I know he's probably pretty perpetually in pain, so if that guy's in that kind of pain, what the hell does that kind of eye gouge feel like? Flop.

Everyone has their weak area. Maybe that's just his weak area. I was watching, I thought he had a visor on his helmet too. I was like, there's no way a finger got in there. I think he came back on the field with a visor. I'm not certain there wasn't already a visor there. That was a flop if I've ever seen. He was, Dan, he was acting like his eyeball

fell out of his head and someone cut off his foot simultaneously, like how did that happen? I do not believe he was faking it. How can you call Miles Garrett a flopping faker? How can you do that with a straight face? I didn't say that. You did say that. I said happy birthday.

You, uh. The only thing he said. You continue to say things, craning in here from God bless football, after doing we good. I don't know if any game involving Jamis Winston, you can skip past, because it's just so great to watch him do the sloppiest thing every time.

And why would you throw that again, Jamis, into the end zone for an interception when we basically eradicated that play from football? Everyone knows to get a field goal there. We are now shocked by all red zone turnovers and Jamis is just like, nah, I'm gonna play like I did four years ago. I've learned nothing from 30 touchdowns,

30 interceptions, 5,000 yards. We went seven and nine They replaced me with Tom Brady. They immediately win the Super Bowl. It's gonna be a rough hard knocks for Jameis on Tuesday night Getting benched at the end of that game for DTR. Oh Seasons over Browns has been for Week one is that what it ended for what, three months? Week one? Is that when it ended? Week one for the crown.

You say. But it was entertaining for a minute, Billy. You can't pretend like it wasn't entertaining for the last three weeks. But Jess, I like you as the person who declares when someone's season is officially over. The Dolphin season ended week two, Thursday night. You know what?

Jessica, I am here for you being commissioner of that character, because I will tell you something. When she says when a season is actually over, I want to, as we now bury this dolphin season, I would, although they're still in the mix. They are. Colt's schedule is easy down the road. Hang on a second, what did Greg Cody call the Texans?

Very, very good? Far from, very, very, very far from being a good team, I believe. Oh, okay. So what does that make the Dolphins then? That from being a good team, I believe. Oh, okay. So what does that make the Dolphins then? That's correct. That's Tyreek Hill's fault, yeah. Yes, Tyreek Hill might be washed.

Might be. They're 14 games in on Blow It All Up. They are six and eight, and we have just lived over the last two months. As soon as two of them got hurt, season's over. Ah, oh, beat the Rams, Rams are pretty good, ah, ah, we're gonna get close in there,

we're gonna be close to 500. If Jessica wants to announce when a season's over, this is what I wanna ask her. I'm watching the Giants yesterday, and I'm like, seriously, Boyle? Really, Tim Boyle? I said the same thing. No, no, but wait, wait, wait, wait.

Well, DeVito got hurt. No, yes, we're in the portion of the proceedings of Giants football where they don't just bail on Daniel Jones, but that's right, that's right. Well, DeVito got hurt is where we are in the season. And so now Boyle's in the game. When was their season over? When was the Giants season over?

During off-season hard knocks when they got rid of Saquon. And Drew Lock, I think, was the Giants season over? During off season hard knocks when they got rid of Saquon. And Drew Locke, I think, was the emergency third string quarterback, but they mentioned during the broadcast that he was in a walking boot all week. So if Tim Boyle. He had a Thanksgiving, Drew Locke. Let's not pretend he didn't have a Thanksgiving Day game. Put it on the poll, did Drew Locke have a Thanksgiving?

My family ate dinner during that game, Billy. I think America ate dinner during that game that he got him right back in that thing You made a competitive as a you know the Cowboys, but got him competitive. Did you see Skylar Thompson got released also? Jessica did not know what to do with your genuine Enthusiasm about being able to spit drew lock had a Thanksgiving. It was three weeks ago. It's drew lock had a Thanksgiving it was three weeks ago it's the fact that Billy just careened into you there Jessica with genuine enthusiasm wanting to talk Thanksgiving drew lock football I appreciate why it is that would knock you off kilter it's just so weird that they're all of a sudden Billy cares

deeply about football he did have one 66 66% completion. Put it on the poll. That's a Thanksgiving. Let's not pretend Drew Locke didn't have a Thanksgiving. Yes or no? Zero touchdowns, one interception. That rushing touchdown, though. All right, Jessica, I would be understanding if a Steeler fan came to me today and said,

one game on the road, those are tough, we are still as good as Philadelphia. But that game right there is why I think Pittsburgh's not a real thing. I mean that's fine, but also George Pickens was out. Like they also had a couple big time injuries on defense. I think the thing with the Steelers all season is like, yeah they're probably not as good as the Bills. They beat the Ravens, so I think you can say they can compete with

the Ravens and beat them again, which they will play them this Sunday. But yeah, they have games like that. That was like the most quintessential Pittsburgh Steelers road game where they were pretty flat in the first quarter, then they started playing really well, had a chance to tie it late, Najee Harris fumbles it. They had two possessions in the second half of that game. That fumble was the game in the red zone and that was it. They weren't able to score and Philadelphia took a lead and then just ran out the clock. That fumble was the game. They're down 17-10 and yeah it's just a routine pitch and the game falls apart for them. But this is the problem with the Steelers going to the trade deadline was they need another wide receiver

They got Mike Williams. He hasn't played a lot for them He had one really great touchdown a few weeks ago in the first game that they had him for but with Pickens out with the Hamstring or whatever it is the offense they don't have that deep threat that is going to be a Game changer for them. So yes, it's tough for's tough for them to, to go down field without him. Well, what, when you say, uh, deep threat, uh, I think, and I've aired in not getting to this before, because I don't know how much Lucy cares about professional football, but I would think that anyone who cares about football,

if I give them all of the information from the season just sit them in front of the television set yesterday and say watch this watch buffalo played detroit this is the top of the sport it's the best it can be done and the single best biggest surprise for that from that game is not to me that buffalo won the games to got to its like

all holy shit i didn't know anybody could do that to the Detroit offensive line I didn't know there wasn't I thought Detroit was gonna be able to run the football against Buffalo's Buffalo's defensive line and now Ed Oliver is just knocking your center over and bothering you in the middle of the field and just and all of a sudden golf looks like the guy oh look there they it's not Dan Campbell's just gonna punch in the face and all rhythm and stuff and then this team's got a centaur, an MVP as their quarterback, and Buffalo can just gallop up and down the field on anybody in the sport. Last three games, Josh Allen, 17 touchdowns, no turnovers, no sacks. That's incredible.

It's the best stretch of quarterback I've ever seen. And I know you're gonna do the thing of getting like caught up in the moment. Like you did it a handful of years ago with Aaron Rodgers. Like what I'm seeing right now, I've never seen better than what Josh Allen is doing the last few weeks. It's the thing that I see in his expertise that is really wonderful to see

is darts all over the place to concave. And then you've got these tight ends just catching the ball with one hand, and it's because they're wide open and he's a little less precise. We've got a whole history of him throwing the ball a little bit inaccurately. Yes.

And so, I know. And so there are sometimes he will miss a wide open guy and you're like, oh, the arm's too big, and it's like, I'm now used to every damn throw is this surgically precise that sometimes Josh's arm is too big and it's like I'm now used to every damn throw is this surgically precise that sometimes Josh's arm is too big and he just gallops to the right throws it 40 yards down field to a wide open tight end and Oh, he might have thrown it a yard too far

It's gonna require one-handed catch because they're playing a different sport than everyone else is playing like and their defensive line Wrecked an offensive line that I did not think could be wrecked like that and Detroit scored 42 anyway. Howdy folks it's Mike and guess what it's Miller time. The holiday season brings around lots of joy and also lots of family, lots of family gatherings at your home. You're inviting people in there and you want to make sure they're happy. Why don't you make their time at your place a Miller time? Pass around that beautiful white can

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Uh oh. He doesn't want to be bothering anymore. Now it's getting tense because he didn't need that as a result. He needs something that happens. You can see mother effing. Can we bother? Are we bothering you right now? Turn on your microphone.

My microphone's on your microphone, Greg. My microphone's on. Stugats. Paint the scene. Paint the scene is I gotta go to work. Good night. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the Stugats. I do wonder when the Bills, and I agree with Chris, and I feel like it's Josh Allen's time,

but they give up 30 points regularly, and the Chiefs never give up 30 points. The Chiefs haven't given up 30 points in a game in 35 games. Like, think about that for a second. I do wonder if the Bills have enough to get past the Chiefs, meaning the Chiefs are going to score on that Bill's defense, right? I'm not certain how many points the Bills are going to score on that Chief's defense. I just can't believe we've lived long enough for the Mahomes offense.

You already can see how Kansas City wins a game against Buffalo. They keep the ball all game with Mahomes running on third and four for five yards. They do the 17 play drive. That's how you used to beat them years ago, Stu Gontz. Now they're the offense that needs the 17 play drive so that Josh Allen never gets on the field. Why are you so convinced that the Chiefs are going to score on the Bills? Like what confidence do you have in the Chiefs offense this year? Because like now we don't even know what's going on with Patrick Mahomes. It's not so much the confidence I have in the Chiefs offense, it's a lack of

confidence I have in the Bills defense. That's all. That's all I'm saying. That's it. Like the Chiefs offense has not been great and you're right, but the Bills defense also has not been great. Thing about defense Dan is that it wins championships. So while this is fun for the Bills, it's going to be interesting to see if they can make a deep playoff run when they're giving up 40 points a game. The weird thing about what the game does to the body that would make Billy whisper under his breath Tyreek Hill is washed and we've seen we've watched it's been amazing to watch what the kansas city offense was when it ran through tyree kill

and how the field keeps getting shrunk in a way that eats up the physical bodies of travis kelsey and patrick mahomes and they can't score thirty anymore they used to be a team it wasn't that long ago still got i would have bet every over every game that they were gonna score 30 Yes, they've done it against Carolina this year and and what who else one other team this year They box the box and now my homes is limping and now you want him to win a playoff game against Galloping centaur they're going to you know they're going to they always do somehow you know they're going to I don't know how I don't know Why you know they're going to and you know Carson Wentz You know they're going to. I don't know how, I don't know why. You know they're going to.

And you know Carson Wentz is gonna play a role in one of these games too. Oh yeah. Not against this Josh Allen. Not this time. Oh. Not this time. Not if he keeps playing the way he's been playing, dude.

This team is scary. Josh Allen, he's like smirking on the sideline. He has this confidence about him right now. Like he knows he's gonna win the Super Bowl. His face, man. Now there are certain teams throughout NFL history. Go on, it gives you something. It makes you smile better You know, it's their time and I'm kind of with Chris here. It's Buffalo's time I knew it in 86 with the Giants at Phil Simms. I knew it was their time

It was their time. You know it as well last week You said that the you said that the Chiefs were gonna stop Josh Allen from ever winning anything. And McDermott, he was never gonna win with him. And it's because Patrick Mahomes gonna keep him from ever winning anything. This guy is so good, I'm telling you, he has the ability to overcome his head coach.

Okay, Stugatz, I am not, look, I know you wanna get all your takes off, and I know you weren't listening at all to what it is that Billy tried to sneak in the shadows there. I heard it. Happy birthday? No. Billy saying, I don't know what it is about Josh Allen's face,

it just makes me want to smile, is a 180 degree reversal from where he was as a Dolphin fan when he was shouting and yelling Josh Allen has a stupid face and then I want to put up billboards in Buffalo Josh Allen has a stupid face and Billy doesn't want to do that. He befriends Josh Allen and right now the Bills are Fertilizing the end of whatever the Dolphins were building to beat them the end of whatever the dolphins were building to beat them like they crush the division before any other team and as long as josh allen is healthy he beat you every time that he plays you and now he's blossoming into

this thing that doesn't have turnovers that is well protected that is offensive line protects him the no sacks thing the no turnovers thing it's kind of giant for how they play football by fertilizing you mean they're pooping on that's what I meant. Okay, everyone was confused. I thought it was like a manure reference. That's your writer. Happy birthday.

Yeah, but thank you. What happened was... You're not dead. I had already forgotten. This is what happened. I'll be totally honest, totally vulnerable. Here are my 56th birthday as I get old. Chris Cody told me immediately before the show

Please no cursing for some reason or be judicious with it and right out of the box for some reason I cursed Hmm And then I now have that word Echoing for the last three minutes back from when I said it and now I wanted I did want to defecate there And I wanted to say it but I went fertilizer and fertilizer grows stuff And so I just got tangled up in the ways i was gonna say that because billy at black i i got it be honest right

still got one straight into i'm here for my monday takes i got so many of them i just got an hour's worth on god bless football but let me skid in here and get all my takes out here and he just steamrolled billy admitting that he has turned one eighty on how he used to feel about Josh Allen. I acknowledge it, I told him that's better. I don't think he said that.

I mean it is, right, we're trying to grow a relationship. Billy said to me, Dan, and I agree with him, after we recorded God Bless Football, that the football season has been tough on our bodies. So this is ridiculous. I'm hurting. I mean, Dan, it's a grind. 15 weeks in, it just don't feel the same.

All right, so you guys, let me, I just wanna be clear on. My arm hurts. All right, let me, all right. I'd like to see if. I think I have a thing. Yeah, okay. Let me see if I have this right.

I just wanna be clear. Are you telling me that what Metal Arc Media just produced with the award winning God Bless Football was Stu Gotts and Billy 15 weeks into three months of collision saying their bodies hurt covering football because they have to keep driving into the studio to talk about football? That's a lot.

There it is. Honestly, I've been feeling it since Thanksgiving week but I powered through. When Drew Lock's playing that Thanksgiving day and you're trying to convince yourself he had a good game, then you come in, then there's a Black Friday game, and then there's big Saturday games, and Sunday night, and then Monday, you're like, oh boy,

this is wear and tear on my body, I'm not sure I was used to. If you don't think coming up with takes for Drew Lock, then hurts your body, impacts your body, you don't know football. Jessica, Jessica Jessica when was the dolphin season over we've talked I mean Chris let can we can we now I mean I've told Billy I told him a Green Bay is a show me something game Houston to show me something game beat somebody beat somebody no you got it Thursday night hard rock Tua gets hurt That was when the season ended.

I was there, it was so hot out. That's how long ago it was. It was still summertime, Dan. It was terrible. How dumb are we all, by the way? Like just us as like a football viewing public and just like a society where everyone was like, man, the Jets and the Dolphins,

I don't know if the Bills are gonna overcome any of this. Okay, well. That's how the season started. Some of us were not on that wavelength before the season started. Stephane digs leaving, I mean this team may unravel. Some of us knew that the jet situation was gonna be a disaster.

Jessica, I think you would be right to say that you and Lucy, but all of you really, have endured unendingly lopsided Miami football talk that ends again another season with here we go. Look, we don't even get to the cold December games that they break your heart because they can't play in the cold this year.

Dan, it's the easiest lane in the world for me to be like, ha ha, all the Miami sports teams suck, they're all gonna lose. Cause every year, even when they look like they, oh, maybe they'll be actually kind of decent and I'm going to be eating humble pie at the end of the season. No, something stupid happens. They lose to Syracuse or Tua gets hurt. Jimmy Butler's going to play every game this year. It's the easiest lane in the world for me to carve out because this city has so many

stinker football teams. I'm sorry. I wish, no, I don't wish they were good. I actually do have personal animosity towards all of them. You guys know there's only been three starting quarterbacks to win the AFC East this century, and it's Tom Brady, Josh Allen, and Chad Pennington. I love that. He did it for two teams, the Dolphins and the Jets. Yes!

It's the only way they could win. It is kind of amazing that we've lived years of Ryan T we've lived years of Ryan Tannehill and years of Chris Greer and that Buffalo team that went 17 years without making the playoffs is now running roughshod over the league because their quarterback, who I once thought was terrible,

and said would never be an NFL quarterback. Because he was, again, I keep saying it because I don't think people understand how ridiculous it is. It was a playoff game against Houston. His fullback was double covered 40 yards downfield and he threw an interception. I'm like, they don't play football like that anymore. The way that you're doing it, they don't,

that's Jamis Winston. Aaron Rodgers developed a new way to play. You do not turn the ball over. Like that's not, the Green Bay Packers have a ball meeting every week. Like the whole sport is around like, do not lose the football. And then there's a guy dropping,

two guys dropping it yesterday before the end zone, and three guys punching it out. Cause what we're watching is ridiculous. It's, it it is it is so violent that again I skip past DuBose because we're all horrified right this is or are you less horrified because it's not one of the guys that you've heard of for one of the guy. Oh, I was horrified. I mean that was that was tough to watch

all of it. Yeah seeing the players whenever you have the two teams and they're praying and they're praying together. Yeah, that was it was an ugly situation. Everyone had to be horrified by that. But before you guys came in here, I was working on the character of horror, horrified football fan who's watching to a dive head first in the open field because you cannot tell me Billy that we're not watching him differently than we are every single other player who's playing football on Saturdays and Sundays. That there is no player, you are watching football

and yelling, what are you doing? Don't dive head first into anybody. He had that pick six, he got out of the way, you saw that. He did do that, yeah. Here's the thing about Tua, when he goes on Scrabbles and he dives head first, you're like, man, this guy is just never gonna learn. He's never gonna learn.

Until he throws the pick six and you're like, look, he learned. I mean, it didn't end up being a pick six, they stopped him, but still you're like, he learned, look, he didn't go and try to throw his head into someone's knee for some reason. That was a big play by HN at the time for hustling back and getting him down

before he scored a touchdown. But Tua was the closest guy and clearly wanted nothing to do with it. Can I ask you a question about the injury real quick? Just because I was wondering and I think that and this is like a horrible admission, but I feel like we all kind of feel this right when when the injury happens. So you see both teams are there and everybody's praying and then they do like the crowd shots because they don't want to show the injury over and

over again. Like the crowd is like initially concerned and then like what the crowd shots because they don't want to show the injury over and over again. The crowd is initially concerned and then they're like, what else do we show? This is taking a long time. We're like 12 minutes into this game stoppage. We don't know what to show. So they keep showing the crowd shots and as every time they go and they show the crowd, the crowd quickly transforms from really concerned

to then antsy to then annoyed to then like, get this guy the F off the field. I want to watch more football and hopefully no one else gets hurt. And then they keep showing them like, guysy, to then like annoyed, to then like, get this guy the F off the field, I wanna watch more football and hopefully no one else gets hurt. And then they keep showing them like, guys, pick it up, we gotta get this game going again. Like you lose the crowd very quickly on these and you can see it as the crowd chucks

keep going back to the fans. Billy, there is such a cool thing that you just reminded me of yesterday that I'd forgotten about, because Scott Hanson is great in the middle of all of this, his energy level for seven hours. It's hard to keep it where he keeps it, given the intensity of everybody's excited about everything that's going on.

Like, when Lucy says she's addicted to TikTok sunday's are just sort of on overriding flow of stimulus because you've just got so much action gambling action and other action things that are happening all over the field hands its body has to be hurting oh my god scott hansen yesterday is is doing calls and he's getting excited because as he's talking about it as we go out to baltimore uh... somebody mark andrews could set the record for ravens touchdowns with a

catch here and then it happens as he's throwing it to that and so he meets that like uh... that moment with getting this that he just got at that game and called the play that was the record breaking play while stopping and going to other games. But he stopped dead in his tracks while calling highlights when he was seeing for the first time the footage of somebody, a bare torso being stretchered out, immobilized.

He stopped in the frenzy of sprinting on the broadcasting treadmill of going from game to game, being excited about everything because he's in the middle of like this torrent of American Sunday action, like dancing on piano keys, broadcasting because people are complaining on their channels, Stu Gutz, we're so addicted, I see them, a commercial snuck in there.

I saw a commercial sneak in from some other game. They were on the split screen and one of the games went to commercial and they kept the sound on the commercial for like eight seconds. And I was just like, what is happening around here? I like it when it happens, cause then I'm like, huh, Scott Hanson, you're not better than me.

You think Scott Hanson gets the Saturday scaries? You know, like before his big work day. That's a good question, Chris. Even though it's a fun job a lot of people would want, it's stressful. Work day is the key word, day, I mean. I think he does other things throughout the week. Red Zone does have ads now. They do have like ad things that they'll put up on the screen. It's not ad free anymore. I think people are just learning

that though from what I can see in terms of what's happening on the internet and commentary. People like complaining about things with their broadcasts and we've gotten to a place in streaming that we want the stuff all undistilled. You can't give people no commercials and then give them commercials once we get used to. No commercials because, and by the way, all of this exists for the commercials.

A problematic position for the streaming companies because they're gonna need to put commercials in so that we can all afford all the things we're fighting over because. They do, they've just started that. Where in the last few years, all of a sudden it was you were paying one price and you didn't have commercials and then it's hey,

if you don't want commercials, now you have to double the price. And if you pay the same price, well you're gonna get commercials now. And all of us went, okay, well, how much can I afford? And then it's seven different streaming services. Right, and they're not doing it because they need the money, they're doing it because they can.

Yep. Because they know you're gonna pay, and they can make ad revenue from it. One thing that I discovered on Googling facts about the Super Bowl this year, do you guys know this is Super Bowl L-I-X, Super Bowl Licks? Ooh. Wow. Wow. Licking it. Super Bowl this year. Do you guys know this is Super Bowl LIX, Super Bowl Licks? Wow.

Licking it. Super Bowl Licks. Licks and it? In New Orleans. I did not know that. How do we get this off the ground? I'm just noticing this for the first time. One of the Super Bowls.

Super Bowl Licks. That's pretty good. Yeah. It's like when Super Bowl Live was in Miami and everyone was like, we're gonna go to live after Super Bowl Live. What do you do after Super Bowl Licks in New Orleans? You're right.

There is a whole ad campaign that we can do around that. Scott Hanson got so comfortable yesterday, that Stugatz, in that Colts Broncos game, which shouldn't be any way interesting because neither of those teams are going anywhere. Whoa. Get into the playoffs, you will win nothing. Whoa. Get those teams both out of my way.

Wow I think Denver's pretty good anyway. I do too but not quite good enough and yesterday they won because Jonathan Taylor, Jonathan Taylor, Jonathan Taylor is dropping the ball before the goal line and I'm like you have to be kidding me there's no way this is still happening in this league. There's no way that people fight this hard for the touchdowns and I'm like, you have to be kidding me. There's no way this is still happening in this league. There's no way that people fight this hard for the touchdowns and then can't still hold it for another half yard. How is that possible that Jonathan Taylor

has to get to the preening? In the middle of that game, one of the things that changes, holy shit, the Colts are doing some sort of fancy razzle dazzle where they throw it back to Richardson and it's picked off and that's it hansen yells you know because nick bonitos is the one who had a pick six there any jumps into the end zone by uh... by uh... the goal line like marshall lynch grabbing

his balls and scott hansen says you can't grab the bonitos that's a penalty that's going to be a penalty i didn't know the Benitos, that's a penalty. That's gonna be a penalty. I didn't know that grabbing the Benitos was a penalty. Is it now a penalty? It's a penalty, yeah. Always, cause I've seen that done at the goal line just as much as I've seen guys drop out of the ball

at the half yard line. So the refs got together and you could see them smiling and laughing because he's like, hey, how do I deliver this penalty? But it's a penalty, how do I say it to the crowd? And they settled on something. It was funny to see them laughing about it. Was it like inappropriate gesture?

Yeah, something like that. So again, it's OK. For history's purposes, Marshawn Lynch breaks the biggest run, most violent run in the history of the sport, breaks 11 tackles, runs sweet end zone. And we all agree at the point, when he dives backwards and grabs his balls, yeah, you deserve that. You should have done it.

Enjoy yourself. Yeah. You ran through 11 people, and since then, people have copycatted it. I just didn't know it had become a legitimate NFL jurisdiction penalty. You can't do anything sexual. Even though they're going to name the Super Bowl, Super Bowl Licks, you can't do anything sexual when you celebrate. Yeah, yeah. It would be funny to see the ref do the personal foul,

personal foul, and then he like mimics what he did. Did you guys see the ref this weekend do the salute to the military before the unnecessary roughness penalty? What was the reasoning for that? What was the backstory on that? He just like did it, and then he pointed, it was like an unnecessary roughness on like a just like did it, and then he pointed, it was like an unnecessary roughness

on like a kickoff or something, and then pointed to the wrong team, and like the wrong side. So he like made this big deal to salute, and it was so funny, cause all the comments were like, well it's Army-Navy. No it wasn't, that was not the Army-Navy game. Lucy, you sat out, I don't know why you did,

Billy Instugats saying aggressively that 15 weeks into the NFL season, their bodies hurt because they've been on the couch. So mad. It does hurt, I'm not gonna lie. No, but Lucy, Lucy has been on planes for, she has not been home very much, she is flying a lot.

16 straight weeks. I try to abide by the, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all, and I had some very not nice things to say, I'm so tired, get over it! Lucy. We did two plane trips, we did, and a trip to Dolphin Mall, which really, I think that's where it started for me. And three if you count opening kickoff.

Wait, Lucy does God Bless with you guys too on Mondays. I do, yeah. So she does all her traveling and God Bless. I get up early and I have to fly to the Charlotte airport to the Miami airport, two awful airports, and I live an hour and a half from the airport, so I have to drive an hour and a half to the worst airport ever to fly

to the other worst airport ever. And guess what, I fly American and they never have live TV on the planes they never do and sometimes they don't even have Wi-Fi on the plane she can't even watch a movie dolphin mock but you're tired so am I wow you really ran Jessica off the road there with your rage I I'm not mad at her. You're lovely Jessica. Please continue. Lucy, I miss you. I miss you. Sad.

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