The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Postgame Show: Chris Almost Killed An Old Person

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Chris almost killed an old guy with a dad joke. Seriously. Is that how Greg Cote would want to go out? Plus, Shedeur Sanders had some interesting comments after Colorado's embarrassing loss to Nebraska and Stugotz can't talk after a long day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Eligibility and member terms apply. I have what I think is a roller coaster of a story to share with you guys, because I was at a casino a couple weeks ago, and I, in the span of 10 seconds, almost killed and then saved the life of an old person. Wow. An old person.

So this person would have died if you didn't save their life. But also would have died if you had killed them. I had, I tried to have interaction with this person. Let me just tell this story. How old is this person? I didn't ask. Is it a brittle person?

It was someone in their, I'd say at least late 60s, maybe early 70s. So your dad's age. Around my dad's age, looking older actually. But your dad's not brittle, your dad's thick. He is, yeah. You know what, I might be wrong, this person looked older than my dad,

so let's say they were in their mid 70s. The casino though is filled with a certain kind of frail person who's been going to casinos, smoking cigarettes, playing the slots for 20 years. You have to be very careful about who you knock over. How did you almost kill an old person? So you know, these chairs that are in front of slot machines are like heavy chairs.

They're not just like chairs you can easily move, but they are movable. It's like a weird thing where they're really heavy, but you can move them. So this, I'm walking just through the casino, and this old guy kind of like almost backs into me because he's taking this chair, inexplicably, he's taking this like heavy chair

and it's seeming like I'm gonna move this. This like old man is like, and I- Is he getting it off the ground or is he dragging it? He's getting it just off the ground, like a couple steps. So he's trying to, it looks like he's trying to move this from one slot machine, maybe it's his lucky chair. Okay, and you're seeing this and you're thinking, hey, he shouldn't be doing that, I should help him out.

And no, no, no, I know, I go for the one line joke. As I'm walking by, I go, hey, didn't know you were allowed to take those home. Implying that he's leaving with the chair. He's trying to steal a heavy chair. This is a joke because he would never steal that. So I just, but I startled the shit out of him. So now this old man carrying a heavy chair

gets startled by my terrible joke. And it literally, and then he starts to fall back and it's this slow motion now. It's kind of like in Vegas when Tony had to catch Wayne Newton from falling. It was kind of like this where Wayne Newton started to fall and I pointed at him and Tony saved Wayne Newton's life. That's something that we'll be told there was ever like a book written on this show. Wade Newton almost died on that stage. He did. So the guy was falling back

with a chair and then what'd you do? Well and then I caught him. Oh you really? Well you jostled for the record. What? Yeah because he was indeed stealing a heavy chair and you had caught him in mid-action and he got so startled that you almost with your accusation made him and he got so startled that you almost, with your accusation, made him fall over. And would have if you hadn't been there to save him from falling over. And because the weight of the chair was so heavy,

his fall back was very slow. So I had time to like, oh shit, I almost just killed that guy, take a couple steps to my left and I literally caught him. So I almost killed this old man. I was gonna say the quickness, man. And you're in front of him when you're making the joke, you're behind him when you I literally caught him. So I almost killed this old man. I was gonna say the quickness, man. Because you're in front of him when you're making the joke, you're behind him when you have to save him.

And as I'm walking away with my wife, I'm just like, that joke was unnecessary by me. All of it unnecessary. Like as if the guy was gonna be like, ah, I am stealing this thing. Because it'd be a ridiculous thing to steal. It's like a 2G and T joke. It was just.

I felt bad about the whole thing, but we had a nice interaction. But you shouldn't feel bad. I'm gonna tell you why you shouldn't feel bad about that. We almost killed someone. Yeah, OK. It was a bad joke. OK. I didn't know you could take those things, because as if, like, casinos, they just give

them away. Look, I understand. This is somehow your dad's fault. Hold on. Walk me through the joke again? I was implying that he was stealing the chair, when he was really just moving it. I was just like, hey, I didn't know you were allowed to take those things. Right. And it startled him, and he almost died. And where was he? he was stealing the chair when he was really just moving it I was just like hey I didn't know you're allowed to take those things but and it startled him and he almost died and where was he?

He was like to my left like taking the moving the chair and where were you I was like on the hall like you know Like the little like walkways. There's like the carpets or where the slots are you asking these questions Billy? I'm just trying to get to the specifics of this well It sounds like you weren't listening to the original parts well it story. Well, it sounds like he's doubting the story. It's kinda how it's landed, bro. I wasn't. Okay. I'm just trying to understand this

and see if this joke was... Oh no! Again? Only two minutes for ruining comedy. I mean, you're just... I can't depend on that. You're asking questions that are like, they make it seem like you just got here

and missed the first part of the story. Undisciplined. I felt like it was lagging a bit, you know? There are follow their follow-ups that I already asked though the reason that this isn't a terrible Because you've never asked something that's the one time I can't defend you The reason that this is something that you should embrace Chris Cody is while it was a bad and unnecessary joke and you can claim that it's not funny it was a bad and unnecessary joke and you can claim that it's not funny how many people ever get to say I made a joke and almost killed a man because he was so startled by my joke not by how funny it was that's a way of finding the

positive and then saved him and then saved him and made yourself your own here hero so basically you're the person who set fire to the home and it was already just a barn filled with shit and then you put out the fire now you're the person who set fire to the home and it was already just a barn filled with shit and then you put out the fire. Now you're celebrating yourself because there's fiery shit all over the place, but nobody died. And then I'm just walking away saying

none of that was necessary. But he's still an arsonist. Yes, that is correct. An arsonist around comedy. I think that's kinda how your dad wants to go out. Speaking. Reacting to a bad dad joke. That's kinda like Fat Man Scoop.

His last words were make some noise. Yeah, I think if your dad either had a hand in someone dying or is the one dying as a result of a bad joke, I think you'd say, that's kind of how I want to go out, that kind of thing. Speaking of a mountain of fiery shit, how about the Colorado Buffaloes? This is going real poorly in year two, real poorly. Speaking of a mountain of fiery shit, how about the Colorado Buffaloes? Oh boy.

This is going real poorly in year two, real poorly. And I want to focus on the quarterback that has huge NFL prospects. Shadorah Sanders is supremely talented. He made a bad interception. I was listening to Greg McElroy's podcast, and he says, yeah, it's a bad offensive line, but Shadorah's holding the ball a little too long,

which is something that could be said for him last season by the way Colt McCoy is very happy with all the Tom Brady reaction because Colt McCoy he's good he got hammered on social media destroyed on social media for being the opposite of that su guts why'd you go good there's two guys I enjoyed Colt McCoy I thought he was decent. He is getting universally panned for his performance on on NBC, but I think Shador tries to really have some highlight reel tape on the field, but I think he needs to pay attention to what other franchises are paying attention to, because yeah, you're auditioning on the field for your next job, but also in the press and how you handle adversity,'re also auditioning and he failed this test with this clip

i mean how many times did ralph get touched how many times did ralph get touched there was a but like of course of course whenever you able to run the ball consistently and whenever you able to then that opens up the pass you know but it's just like you got to understand like what what your team good at so it's like why would we keep running the ball if okay we are we out there we get in a situation where it's a must get and we don't get it. It looks like kind of like fourth and one conversions that haven't found you guys way in the last couple of weeks. So how many times did Raiola get touched? Raiola the five star true freshman starting quarterback for Nebraska that seems to be headed in the right direction.

Who looks just like Patrick Mahomes. Acts like him. So Shador also left the field with two minutes left. Deion Sanders, his father and head coach, said he was leaving to get treatment, but just bad looks all around. And we're only in week two. They have a rivalry game against Colorado State that

pushed them to the brink last year. Shidorn needs to get blocked by these guys and once again, it's not the first time that he's taken the opportunity to criticize his offensive line with the media around and that's stuff that the NFL looks at too. How about he criticizes dad? His job to get the offensive line, is it not? What are you saying? Criticizes dad? It sounded like... Listen, dad... That is me at the end of the day slurring my words at DeGobbler's football. I'm cracking up the excuse machine. But seriously, why is he criticizing the offensive line and not

his father? I can't believe... Is it not his father's job? I can't believe the son of Deon Sanders would be self-involved!