The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Postgame Show: Scorching Hot Holiday Music Takes

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Chris Cote wants to find the holiday that DOESN'T have its own song. Jessica introduces us to a Thanksgiving horror film. Billy tells us about a Publix holiday commercial that makes us cry. And, Jeremy teaches us about The Monster Mash, and, despite warning from the group, he is going after Mariah Carey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Your business has grown fast, from opening your first location to planning an expansion in no time. And with your business platinum card from American Express, you can access spending power and payment flexibility to fuel your growth. Sarah, the contractor's here with the plans. American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply as it mx.ca Okay, so I have two holiday-themed music takes for you guys, because holiday music is ever

present basically starting around this time. And I've got a couple of different things that I've been wanting to get out for weeks at this point. Chris, I know you had some stuff here too. Well, whenever I think of holiday music, I've always thought, I want to find the holiday that doesn't have a song, because I feel like that's just like what Mariah does. She's just made that Christmas song. Okay, so this is, she's making millions and millions and millions.

What is the holiday that does it like, is there a thing, I know there's greens, beans, potatoes to made us, but like there's not really a Thanksgiving song. No. If we can write a good Thanksgiving song, we're talking in every year we're making money. Speaking of Thanksgiving, things, have you been seeing commercials for that Thanksgiving horror film? That's like, it's Thanksgiving, but it's a horror movie.

Like, it should be Halloween. It's called Thanksgiving, I think. It looks kind of hilarious. There's part of it where this woman gets attacked and then on the ground, the weapon was those things that you hold corn on the cob. I'm a little like the corn on the cob. You you know the little like uh, they're like the skewers Yeah, exactly what you mean stick on the ends of the cob and I'm just like is this a real movie like is this supposed to be funny?

I think I think murder movies need to have some comedy in it I think so too. You got to lean into how ridiculous the premise we've moved into an age where like every movie needs to be every genre and I think that's the greatest combo is when a horror movie can also make you laugh a little bit. But I don't know what Thanksgiving song off the top of the market. There's a market out there. I think there's my point. Should we write it at every household will play on Thanksgiving when everyone shows up. I don't know.

I don't know what it is. Obviously it takes creative. Like I need a brown has all the Yeah, have you just have you been down here for Thanksgiving or no? Yes, like two years ago we did Thanksgiving down here because like down here I know that Publix is like a regional supermarket like public's owns Thanksgiving commercials down here Yeah, like they try to get in your fields. They try to make you cry like it's a whole thing And you're like,

what the hell is this for? And it's like a grocery store. It's the strangest thing. I feel like there's a public's one out now, and I could be wrong about it. But I think it's like a public's one now that is a, you're not exactly sure of the relationship. It seems to be a stepdad and his stepdaughter.

Yeah, I think this is personal. And every time I'm like public. Yeah, and the stepdad is there and the stepdaughter the whole time calls him whatever the guy's name is like Larry or something, right? And she like refers to her stepdad's like, Larry, oh, Larry, and you see as she's growing up, she just always refers Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry. And then we get to wedding day and he comes in

and she goes, or he goes, you look so beautiful. And then she turns in and she goes, thanks, dad. Oh, I just got, you're gonna make me cry. Yeah, right here, you're just just describing it. And then I have, and then it's got the letters, Publix, or Shopping is a pleasure. And you're like, wow, over-priced grocery. It is a pleasure.

This is crazy. It is a pleasure. You can do it in the bridal space. It's weird. They also have Thanksgiving pubs ups now, where you can get like a cranberry relish on your pubs up. It's delicious. And they have the sugar. The salt and pepper shakers, the public sells where it's like the two little pilgrims that are a little chunky all the way. Pillshopping is a pleasure. Yeah. You haven't seen them? Oh, you're missing out.

So to fire off these takes. First and foremost, I guess I'll start with October 31st. Halloween, the monster mash. It was pointed out to me on TikTok. Did you realize that the Monster Mash, the song we listened to, is not actually the Monster Mash? It's a dance, right? Right, so think about this. I was working in the lab late one night

when my eyes beheld in eerie sight for my monster from his slab began to rise and suddenly to my surprise He did the mash. He did the monster mash So you're saying the monster mash is a different song. Yeah, we don't know what the monster mash is the song That's being written about the monster was like the way you dance. He did the mash He did the monster, but we're seeing the song about we're singing the song about the song in the dance I get it. I get it. I get it. This is not the monster mash the song is not the monster match

That's what you should write the monster match. I will write the monster man That's a great. We'll write that a lot. I'm the thanksgiving song. You'll be the forgetting ceremonial song Did you see the Jason Seagull has seemingly been writing the full musical and performed that song in front of people with a full band recently. I did, I have some time. I've been wondering what he's been doing. I'm desperate for that to become a full Broadway musical. That's my version of like, yeah, you think sex is good, try listening to Jason Seagull sing the vampire musical.

Vampire musical! What a great movie. I don't know how to say favorite. But that feels like drugs to me. Once a week, I say, I wish I was wearing this f***ing shirt. Just because I have terrible stuff. For getting Sarah Marshall is one of the greatest

of our generation. And then secondly, on November 1st, Mariah Carey released a multiple minute long preview video saying it's now time for all I want for Christmas's you. And I think if there has never been a greater example of late-stage capitalism, then Mariah Carey not releasing new Christmas music, but releasing these tens of thousands of dollar productions to say, hey, everybody everybody remember that thing that happens naturally every year where you re-download my song and give me millions of dollars go ahead and just do that

again do that again I think it's bullshit and I think that it defeats the spirit of Christmas the spirit of Christmas I think it is Garth yeah I am I am coming from rio carry right now it is ridiculous that she is out here promoting this song. This is something that should happen naturally. This is something that should happen on its own. All of us should delight in the joy of all I want for Christmas is you, I say as a Jew. So everyone is allowed to like promote things for themselves,

but not Mariah Carey. Like why isn't she allowed to just share her song? It's not new. Christmas is like the most capitalistic. Well that's also true. The holidays, Jareber. Everyone's making money off Christmas. Yeah, the Jews wrote all the songs.

Lexus Savings. Oh, those Lexus commercials too. I was one to get a Lexus. Let me be the first to wish you a happy holidays. Oh, happy holidays. Those Lexus commercials get me every time. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Oh, I'm so happy. Happy holidays. Those Lexus commercials get me every time. Dude, dude, dude.