The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Postgame Show: That Ari Guy

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

Dan got something stuck in his teeth and Mike and Chris pounce on it. Honest Abe may have to do something very dishonest and Chris thinks it may be time for a life lesson for Juliette. Then, we have one final update about the success of our voter registration drive from Steve Kornhacki to round out the day. Our drive continues until 24 hours from the start of our show today. To register to vote or check your registration status: Just text 'DAN' to 57568 or clink this link — https://headcount.org/dan — for your chance to win a sports vacation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Non-investment advice, crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. We are ending the show now, but you can do, I ate something. I had to eat something. I ate some chicken.

What do you want me to do? I didn't know. I'm sorry. Swallow it? I ate some dead bird parts from my balcony. Ah, okay. You can text Dan five, seven six eight at any time that you're listening Does it just stay in like your upper lip like a zinner what how does this always

happen like a little like hangout living room and your food just stops before it's like hey before we go down this stomach let's all chill right here just hang out here let's just grab onto this ugula dried chicken. Let's make Dan sound like this. Hey, you're over the bubble, right in the back, with the vial of the teeth, hey, it was ugula.

Hello, my baby, hello, my darling. What was that? Wait a minute. The Warner Brothers fraud? The fraud from WB. From Michigan J. But what was the song? What were the lyrics?

Hello, my baby, hello, my darling, hello, my baby. Turn down. It on my banger. It's a banger. You can text the word, Dan, to 57568 at any point that you're listening to this within a 24 hour period of when it is that we did this text-a-thon, tel-a-thon, that's not a tel-a-thon.

We don't know if a tel-a-thon is about a television or a telephone. 24 hours from now or from when we started this morning? That's a good question. Billy, thank you for your contributions. It's always interesting when you decide to get involved. You just want to be clear. We're just trying to make sure everyone knows.

Just trying to help. Yes, just trying to help. I know both of you are always. Yes, I know. I know. Do you have an answer? It's 24 hours from when we started. And you can do it at any point, but we

have to go to Steve Kornhacki in a second to get our final tabulation for the day. But Honest Abe has just mentioned that he plans on doing something terribly dishonest with his now four-year-old, five-year-old daughter. She's about to turn five. Yeah, my little sweetheart Juliette. So she's been, she's very smart and she's testing very smart. And so we wanted to reward her for doing so good at school. So I said, let's get you a surprise.

What do you want for your surprise? She said a pet. Now I'm not really at a place where I can have another pet. I'm not some highfalutin guy that has all these dead animal parts on my balcony. You know, I live alright. You guys never answered the question of whether you knew that crows did that.

Like, I'm still waiting for an answer. I'm still trying to climb up to the point where I could show up to my balcony and have dead bird parts there. I'm still trying to put together top five crows of all time. I'm stuck with Sheryl Crow and Warren Cromartie. Call me homie. And so I talked her down from dog to fish. I figured this is a good way to teach her

about responsibility and it's fine. It's cheap, low maintenance. And then I remembered, anytime I've tried this, it's been a handful of times I've tried this in my life, fish tend to die. It's hard to keep a fish alive for a very long time So I tried explaining that to her, but this is the first pet that's you know She's the mommy she feeds it and so we went a couple of days

It's been about four days, and my wife just texted me and baby jelly died Oh, no apparently Juliet not doing a great job feeding the fish honestly. I Kind of think it was me. I might have put too much conditioner in it I conditioner yeah water you have to you care you have to condition the water a little bit I don't know like conditioner I thought I did no hair hair conditioner for the fish yeah painting Pro V yeah they got a little they got a little too pay it's very vain Selson blue if anyone bought a fish with the toupee it'd be Mike though we can work on that A paper something about that Ari guy, so yeah very suspicious I had to go through the internet and see that his hair is aged with time so easy. They're very good

Or he just has long longer sideburns which can also give that effect especially when you're looking Great info for them. Yo, he was fantastic. But a two dimensional image kinda seemed a little, anyways, so I'm trying to decide whether, cause we already got another fish. My wife went to the pet store, she was like, oh I remember that sweet young lady that's presently at school, she came in with her dad,

I remember the fish, here, just take this fish. So now my wife and I are debating, what do we do? Oh yeah. Do we tell her that this is a new fish? Or do we? Well how close does it look? It's identical. It's identical to baby jelly.

You've got to lie, yeah, just lie. Keep lying. No, no, no, it's time for a life lesson. Juliette, sit down. I think she knows already, man. It's time to learn about life. She knows, she's at school. No, she can tell the difference between time for a life lesson Juliet sit down. I think she knows already time to learn about life She knows she's in school. No, she can tell the difference between this new fish and his old that identical I can't she's testing smart you get she's a five-year-old

You could just tell her they do this thing where they change their look and she'll believe you It's the same exact fish. It looks identical there What do you do with this fish if you don't switch it out then you just have another fish on yeah Well, I'm the only struggle here is do I tell her it's a new fish or do I keep up a long con? And say nothing and have her think that she's been so great with baby jelly and she's been super responsible Just turn it around on her. What do you think why create a problem? What are you making a Tony Romo? You're not creating a problem. You're teaching her a life lesson. Hey, sometimes things die. And that's it. When you're a terrible mother, your fish die.

Yeah, I don't wanna, I think I'm gonna lie to her. It's too soon. I would suggest lying. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. If- Lie or die. If your four year old's fish dies, do you replace it with an identical fish

and then lie about it? I have a friend who tells a story that felt like an urban myth to me about a rabbit situation like that where one of the parents came upon that sort of situation. Rabbit died? Yeah, and they replaced, I'm not gonna get the details on this story, right, upon that sort of situation. Rabbit died? Yeah, and they replaced,

I'm not gonna get the details on this story right, because I've got chigged dead bird parts in my mouth and I'm tired from what it is that we've done. But the funny part of the story is the replacing of the rabbit with an identical rabbit in a way that fooled one of the parents who had come home and saw a new rabbit in the cage that looked like the old rabbit and started screaming because they had buried the dead

rabbit in the backyard. So it reanimated? Right! So the one parent didn't know. The zombie rabbit? No, they bought a new rabbit and one parent didn't know that the other parent was buying it. Korn Hackie, bring us home. Time for one final update here on the Dan Levitard show as our National Voter Registration Day

campaign is continuing on. Dan, some updated info from what you mentioned earlier in this segment. This campaign will actually go all the way up until election day, so you can register to vote by texting 57568 with the word Dan or going to headcount.org slash Dan to check your voter registration status or register to vote yourself. And those sweepstakes will last. The first registration deadline is just in a couple of weeks, but some states you can register up until Election Day or even on Election Day. So as we round things out here on our live show, 4,159 folks have participated in

our campaign. The folks at headcount.org didn't expect us to break 1000. That was the mark. So fans, really great job by you of participating in everything we have going on today. And we've been following this race behind Florida that has 700 of those participants far and away in first. Who would come in second between Texas, New York and California?

Well, that West Coast surge has prevailed. California, 261 folks. You come in second place in a lot of ways. That's first place considering Florida's here in our home state. Of all of the swing states, we mentioned the seven swing states earlier. How could the Levitard lean factor in? 810 people taking action between those 7 states combined 206 of those in North Carolina that's the leader

amongst the swing stakes but I believe 5 of those had a 100 or more so great job by the swing state voters and again you can go to head count dot org slash Dan or text 5, 7, 5, 6, 8. The word Dan to check your registration or register to vote. Dan don't call me Dan O'Levittard we'll send it back to you. We've found the role for you Jeremy. Corn Hackie is there's a future in being Hackie as a sideline reporter for you. Thank you sir. Thank you over now.