The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Postgame Show: The (Pee) Bucket of Death

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Jessica takes a trip to the Bucket of Death before the crew discusses the phrase "if it's yellow, let it mellow" and the use of porta potties at tailgates. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. So Jess you've been very good at the bucket of death. Thank you. Very good. You've only suffered one loss. That's correct. Ballsawillo had a loss, but she already paid off her death. All right. So you missed the mass picking yesterday.

Today is our last opportunity to get you to pick from the bucket of death, which is brought to you by KFC and their new Hot and Spicy Wings, Order and APs of the new Hot and Spicy Wings for $4.99. Participating KFC, it's finger-licking good. Jess, you are going to the bucket. What is your pick. Bum, bum, bum, uh, the browns. Bum. They are a big favorite against the Arizona Cardinals who are not starting in Josh Dobbs at quarterback. They're either starting their third string, Bill and Jared Hall, baby.

Well, that's the Vikings. Oh, yeah, the Arizona Cardinals are. I think the talk is it's color Murray the Browns right now or any point favorite but you don't know who the starting quarterback is. Oh, that's kind of risky. Jessica. Yeah, if it's brown, flush it down. I don't want that's a big favor to be put him back. But yellow let it mellow. Cardinals are stinky. The Browns are stinky. We don't know who's playing quarterback for the browns Yeah, I guess I'll keep it. Oh, that's keep it That's I mean you got a name to have point paper. It's a last helmet and the next one

There's there's four teams on a buy Jessica Is it too late to and there's I don't want to say what happened But someone pulled the golden helmets of the swap maybe it'll be a cardinal zone All right, she put it back. I got the Texans. Oh. Are they out of buy? No, didn't know.

They're playing the bucks. But they're two and a half point favorites. Still a dangerous game, but you've done great by... You got the game, CJ Stroud. You downgraded by six points. According to North-Frenzied Rathcans' worst part. I watched them, CJ Walker played last week.

He threw a brutal interception at the end again. I don't trust. I don't trust. Fair enough. I don't know who's playing quarterback for either team, but there's a name and a half point spread that seems weird. So maybe your your instincts were right. Well, if the instincts are always right when brown flush it down, always. That's just your life principle. Are you a brown flush it down? How's it mean? I'm every flush everything down. No, no, no, everybody has to be a brown flush it down I just ask you like does he flush? Yeah, I got you flush your poo down the toilet

Are you a yellow? A mellow house not a brown Wait, what does that mean? You don't know yellow let it mellow means if you if you Urinate and it's you know, it's cool. It's yellow. Don't don't flush You just let it sit Don't waste the water. I feel like we're a yellow let it mellow office because every time it's yellow I think that that's on the toilet. It's true

The yellow just tends to mellow more in there even after the initial flush and we don't want to waste water in this office So you can't flush it twice. Yes, you can you can can just flush it. Please. I'm a dose in here. Not a boi. You don't want someone who would use you of being a double flusher because it's brown, so you're flushing it down. You know where I first heard that, I went to like a sleep away camp when I was in high school.

Sleep away camps are always if it's yellow, let it mellow people. Yeah, the counselor said, if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it got you have the counselor said if it's yellow, let mellow, if it's brown, push it down, and then he said, however, if it's really, really yellow, then you've got to go to the water. I got to drink some water. You're dehydrated, son.

I peed sitting down twice yesterday because my power was out. I got to tell you. What? Your girls have it good. What do you mean? My power was out. You mean so?

Just do that whenever you want. I'm not going to, I'm, that couldn't see. Dude, I couldn't see. I'm not going to stand up. That didn't even show. Just do that whenever you want. I'm not gonna, I'm, that couldn't see. Dude, I couldn't see. I'm not gonna stand up. Use the force, man. Use the force. I would say iPhone last flight. Yeah, I don't, I'd rather not, I just, you know,

just sat down. It was, it was, it was wonderful and clean and I didn't have to wipe afterwards. Well, you should still wipe. The thing that I don't understand about, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not. They're not, they're not. They're not, they're not, they're not. They're not, they't understand about They're not peepy got on the sides because I'm on the toilet see it and the weener goes through the cylinder, right? Thank you for them He's right about here telling me that I should still wipe right when is your when is your TikTok time if you're standing in peeing for me

Tick-tock times on the toilet you tick-tock time while you have 11 hours of screen time a day You're watching every like every second. Hold on. My legs fall asleep. Time out. How long are you being forced by the way? Like three videos. Three videos is a lot, dude.

Sometimes someone who is maybe pesto and then a video. And I have to stay tuned and see what the twist is. All right. You wouldn't understand. No, man. Now, during my one-dump a day, that's TikTok time right there. Paralysis in both legs, baby.

Let me see all the luxury apartments in New York City that one day I'll afford when I win the lottery. Let me also see a great cooking of rack of lamb. Do you see Susie? I don't know what Susie is. Oh my God. Susie is a girl who does not like store bought Pesto. And she made a video saying, call me crazy,

but I don't like store bought Pesto. So then every single person who has like a batshit crazy insane story has been stitching it. I mean like, oh my God, Susie, you're so crazy. I was involved in a murder once, and then they'll tell us the story. They have been awesome It's so great every time I see Susie on my free page. I'm like, let's go if I see Susie I'm sitting I'm staying on the toilet. I mean have you ever gotten up and banged your head on the wall because your legs are sleeping

You can't walk no no, but I have staggered. I've had to like hold on with both hands and then like wash my hands and then literally hobble my way to my bed where I just lay out until my legs work. I happened to be actually, oh, it's funny, I should mention that two days ago, I was trying to have to wake up my twins and so I went to bathroom and then I came out and they were asking me questions about stuff and I'm like, hey guys, I need to go lay down for a little bit.

I'll come back and I'll answer these questions because I could not stand. I was leaning against the door frame. Parenting. Oh my God. On a trip, the time that I most jealous of men, generally is when I'm at a tailgate and I have to use the porta potty and I'm squatting

and I'm just staring at the urinal to my right and I'm like, God, who's taking a dump in the porta-potty, making this miserable for me? You know what's funny? When I go leak in the porta-potty, I'm disgusted. I'm like, oh, I feel bad that I'm even in the... I gotta close my eyes. Oh, you know what I do?

I look for the premium ones, but the steps, it goes up as a trailer. Oh, those are the fancy, yeah. I'm not even at the warf. Those are the bathrooms right now, base side. They've been working on the bathrooms as like a trailer. Oh, those are the fancy. Yeah, the war. Those are the bathrooms right now, a base site. They've been working on the bathrooms for like two years. And all the men's restrooms at base site are closed

and you have to use a trailer or a porta potty. Yeah, I can't. I love going tailgating to Panthers games, but they don't have any porta potty for tailgators. They want you to just get inside the arena. What? So it actually, people just pee in the parking lot, right? That's fine for a guy, you'll find a place,

and if you're drinking beers, you'll find enough liquid courage to do so. I have a shy bladder, so I don't like this. But also, my wife and other women that attend our tailgates, it's a lot harder for them, and often they gotta just stick their ass out there and open a car door and just pee right next to where yeah that's where you go.

Nah man. That's where you go. So someone actually gave me a gift for specifically Panther tailgates which is a tent with a bucket that women can go pee. Let me ask you a question. Can you bring a porta potty and then charge cover? I thought about it but it's also like me, well, I thought about like, you know, charging a beer.

Yeah, you wanna use this porta-potty? Okay, cool. Give me a beer. I'm on Amazon right now looking for a porta-potty tent for you to make the easier. Not a tent. Get an actual porta-pot. No, there's a tent for $59 you can get here.

If you get an actual porta-pot, I mean, I guess regardless, you're gonna have to clean this thing. No, I don't. Well, it's time to get clean what? Have you ever seen a porta-body? It's what has been clean my porta-party. It's a buck You have to MDS I'm talking about a real fault my turn around look at this look at this This is a little tent that you put around a bucket That's actually way nicer than mine and then you don't have to worry about a car doors at $59

That's still that's still not so Someone got me like a bucket something that's like that I have a pee bucket that has a tent around it I'm not so bad. I was saying someone got me something like a bucket of this. Something that's like that. I have a pee bucket that has a tent around. Did you guys when you went to the beach, like, or the rapids or whatever, and you had to change, you guys ever do the thing where everyone had to hold up towels? Yeah. That's a good move.

This is what I'm gonna say. You have to trust the towel holder though, not to take a peek. Whoa. You