The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Postgame Show: Tight End U

Episode Date: July 18, 2025

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Breaking news, McDonald's international menu items are vanishing. McPizza bites missing in Italy. Big Rosti stolen from Germany. Teriyaki chicken sandwich disappears in Japan. An Abysscoth McFlurry blackout in Belgium. Uh oh, it's just in. We can now confirm the stolen favorites have resurfaced at McDonald's Canada. The international menu heist.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Try them all while you can. For a limited time in participating McDonald's Canada the international menu heist try them all while you can for a limited time in participating McDonald's in Canada Boys over the weekend we've got UFC 318 Dustin Poirier's final dance in New Orleans in Louisiana His trilogy against Max Holloway Mike. I know you're gonna be excited for that one That's a banger of a main event two guys that have gone fight each other throughout their entire careers Max Holloway was his his first fight was against Dustin Poirier and now all these years later. He finishes it with the trilogy We're gonna be hanging out MMA hangout this Saturday 10pm on the YouTube on Twitter on Twitch wherever you watch us presented by boost mobile boys will be out there doing their thing On Twitch wherever you watch us presented by boost mobile boys will be out there doing their thing watching one of the greatest to ever do It some maybe cement his legacy against an absolute dog in max Holloway
Starting point is 00:01:10 So Dustin Poirier max Holloway 3 UFC 318 MMA hangout presented by the boys at boost mobile I've got a couple cards without watching them UFC I think to me is in a dip that they watching them. UFC, I think, to me, is in a dip. And I know for the people that follow the fight game closely, like you, you and Lewis, a great job on MMA hangout. The cards haven't been doing it. Life got in the way. I think a lot of that honestly has to do with the Panthers' playoff push. So it hasn't been a top priority. Tuporio Levera was special. I'm coming back for this one. This is a really good card. And I have heard, Tony, I have a source, a general manager,
Starting point is 00:01:46 that has reached out to me that listens to this show. And he says that his dad is a D2, D3 big time coach in college. And he says, with certainty, D3 is for anyone who wants to play football. What I want you to do is screenshot that, send that to Dominique Foxworth, and just lock that in with him, just so he knows kind of where this is.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Yeah. Where the floor is. Where the floor is. You want to play football in D3? Yeah, play football. You can. They'll take anybody. Did Dominique say you couldn't play D3 football?
Starting point is 00:02:17 That's what he was implying. He didn't specifically say D3. He just says you couldn't play college football. Not thinking, hey, there's levels of D1 D2 D3 NA I go all these different levels to play So basically what he was saying is you couldn't play D1 football, which was never what I said, right? But if the text was literally anyone can play D3 football is that I'm part of literally anyone So massive supply you but is a flex
Starting point is 00:02:44 Point is I could do it but anyone could right and that's the point that I'm trying to make to Dominique from the overall point Is what we talked about Hawk if I would have put on you know another 20 30 pounds I could have played D something football. Yeah, I mean you showed Dominique Foxworth You said I couldn't do this and literally anyone can that's all point. I want you to text that GM Text that GM. Let him know on site. I'm available for tryouts. I think I can get you a tryout with this GM. Dude, let's go. If you let me train you, all right?
Starting point is 00:03:11 Let's go. Let me train you. Give me a month to train your routes, and then we can do a workout and let Dominique decide. I'm ready. What? Dominique's got to put cleats on and come guard me. How about that?
Starting point is 00:03:21 OK, I mean, you might be getting a little in over your head. No, I'm just saying. So he can see where we're at. Start with the workout. Let's just let's just test my eye for talent in Europe and my eye to see the ability in. I'm ready. How are you now?
Starting point is 00:03:32 Thirty three. That's a little old, but it is you still got enough left in the tank. So you can basically say, OK, if I see you move like this at 33, I know what you could have been at 19. Exactly got a block, though. Yeah, that's fine. Throw a chip here and there. Yeah, I's fine. I throw a chip here in there
Starting point is 00:03:45 Yeah, I mean not in today's game Roy you do got a block But also at the D he talked about FIU being a walk-on I'm gonna show that he has the ability to be a walk-on at Florida International University. There you go All right, we can get it in he tried and they the problem is They screwed me out of the football. Yeah, but I mean you that was probably your best shot without the footballs No, I would have been trust respect. Trust me. It would have been better for the Heart that's the harder to walk on that I was what I'm saying is only certain spots
Starting point is 00:04:14 But the thing is I can get away with not having the football if I was playing linebacker, right? But like as a quarterback football is probably the best part of the tryout is me having the football throwing said football Hey, he's throwing the football. It wouldn't have increased your chances of making the team I think a little bit he's saying if they would have actually seen your abilities you would have not made the team faster Hawk hasn't seen me throw. I want to see you No, no I've seen the videos of you throwing. I love the gym on your shoulder.
Starting point is 00:04:47 You're not a bad throw, like people can throw. That's a part like that you can throw to football. We haven't gone out to the field. But walking on at a division one level at the quarterback position. It's a different game. These are guys that like, hey, I threw for 3000 yards my senior year,
Starting point is 00:05:00 but I'm 5'11". Or like I'm 6'3", but'm a buck 66 and I played at you know Pines Charter and nobody saw me. So I'm gonna stay local because I get in-state tuition and I'm gonna walk. Those are like what the walk-on quarterback spots are reserved for. So when you threw the ball and said I didn't play quarterback. I mean they might have made the decision the moment they knew you didn't play quarterback in your senior year. You weren't in high school. That's just... Why'd you decision the moment they knew you didn't play quarterback in your senior year You were high school. That's just probably why'd you try a quarterback if you didn't play quarterback?
Starting point is 00:05:28 I did play quarterback. The problem is I left to go play basketball. Yes, we noticed. Okay, we're not gonna be like this Mike Well, we'll set this up wide receiver camp Titan Titan camp Titan you this is my this is like the first the first Try like trial and test to try and go to Titan you for real. I know you got hookups over there. Yeah, I could make a call. Wait, now you're gonna go to Titan U? Yeah, cause then we graduate from- Media U, Titan Media,
Starting point is 00:05:51 Media Titan U. What happened to you getting a 10 day contract with the Heat? That's still, we're still working on that. They need that by the way. I'm gonna get them right, bro. You're gonna see his workout. We're gonna put together a highlight tape. You guys are gonna be like, damn, honey.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Can I tell you something? You are the football whisperer. About his working out that I know so I come in today and Frankie our security guard like the two of them Frankie's like showing me his biceps and how strong he is I'm still not sure why but he was doing that I was like well he's telling me that he's only eating eggs for the rest of the week I missed that part of it because I was talking about you know Kristen being a dog mom and how I don't think that she should because then she can't do things
Starting point is 00:06:23 But so then the two of them were just kind of flexing and having a concept of who has bigger muscles or whatever. That was not a flex off. I was showing him a bruise that I had on my inner bicep right here. That's all I was doing was I was showing him. Exactly, so they're just doing that. That hurts.
Starting point is 00:06:36 And then they were talking about how they're gonna go running now because they want eight packs, the two of them, and how they're gonna go running to the Key Biscayne Bridge which is like down the street, which is, it's not far but it's not close. And I was like, you're gonna run over the Key Biscayne Bridge, which is like down the street, which is, it's not far, but it's not close. And I was like, you're gonna run over the Key Biscayne Bridge? You're just running to it.
Starting point is 00:06:49 He's like, no, no, we're not doing that. So then I come in here and he shows me his water bottle and he's talking about this run that him and Frank are gonna do to get their eight packs. So I come in here and I was like, so like, what time are you gonna run? He's like, I'm not running, we're there today. I'm not running. So this workout, you think you're gonna put? He's like, I'm not running today. I'm not running.
Starting point is 00:07:05 So this workout, you think you're gonna put him through? Like, I think he likes to talk about the workout, but it's really the follow through, which is the problem. Here's the thing. Sometimes the lens isn't there for him. The lens. I was told I couldn't bring that up anymore. I didn't bring it up, you brought it up.
Starting point is 00:07:18 The problem is, Frankie likes to bring these things up like two minutes before you see, like you kind of go to show. But if you're in shape, two minute heads up isn't that bad the problem is now have a kid like my wife things like I have things to do I can't just like drop everything and run to the keep his game bridge and baby on the bus so when he tells me hey hey we're gonna do this I know he's being facetious I know he's joking around cuz I know he's you're wearing shorts for running today like very short short you could run today I could could, but I'm not. Go run, you drove today.
Starting point is 00:07:45 I choose not to run. I can turn him into a tight end, that's all that. And how much time? We will do that. You give me a month and he will look like, you'll be able to see that he could have played college football at the tight end. I don't think we got a month.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Can you do it inside of 20 minutes? 20 minutes, I can't. Do we have a ball? Give him a month, I mean, I know that there's a lot of people on their athletic journeys at the moment. Roy is doing some athletic stuff behind the scenes that he's trying to live out his athletic dreams. Tony's trying to live out athletic dreams.
Starting point is 00:08:16 So like I think that you could add to this. I participated in wide receiver workshop. Yeah, to make the Olympics. I really, I'm thinking about it man. I was joking at the beginning, now I'm like, I'm at a 20% mark of like, now I'm not. I'm 20% serious. What sport? Flag football, 2028.
Starting point is 00:08:31 But I'll be 42. Yeah. So that'll be tough. But I feel like me at 42 is like a normal person's 27. Have you looked up like dual citizenship anywhere where you could like, I'll make the Olympics, but like. I mean, the good thing is I can play both ways Okay, yeah, so I can play DB and I can play wide receiver. Yeah
Starting point is 00:08:50 top-five dicks So, okay, so we got a month you set it up you tell me what day you tell me what time I'm there I got cleats. I got gloves. That's half the battle. You got the cleats. That's it. You need a quarterback. And I don't know any guys that can throw. Tony can throw.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I would be the quarterback. But I'm tired. Like I said, I don't know any guys that can throw to the level we need. We'll figure it out. My brother can throw. My brother can throw a baseball. I can throw to you.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Yeah, but if you're teaching me, you can't throw it to me. Honestly, you got to be in the technical. So your brother's going to be your quarterback. My brother can be the quarterback. My brother can throw. Got it. So we'll bring my brother's team. Yeah, but if you're teaching me, you can't throw it to me, honestly. You gotta be in the tech team. So your brother's gonna be your quarterback. My brother can be the quarterback. My brother can throw. Got it. So we'll bring my brother along.
Starting point is 00:09:30 He'll be the quarterback. You teach me. We work on drills, whatever. Got the ladder. Does he lick his fingers before he throws? Not every time. What happened to your brother's football career? Never started.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Oh. Never played basketball. Resting with family. Jesus. Goodness gracious. I didn't understand why you both gave up on football to have failing basketball careers Yeah, if you could have been so successful at football. Yeah, I I think about that often actually that's unfortunate top five regrets That's one of them play us out
Starting point is 00:09:59 You've got a different top five don't you Me yes, I do actually top five things that you miss from your childhood top five don't you? Me? Yes, I do actually. Top five things that you miss from your childhood? Top five things I miss from my childhood and that's from the late 90s, early 2000s. Are you guys ready for this one? And this might not be, this might not be the list that you think it is. So I'm gonna say things that,
Starting point is 00:10:19 no, things that I miss, but it may not all be good things. It might be some bad things, but that I miss them. Does that make sense? From when is sense? Early 90s and 2000s. Don't say 9-11. Like toxic. Number five, dial up internet. Wasn't great but like the eee, er, eee. And you're like, sounds like you were like building
Starting point is 00:10:39 a machine inside your parents room or wherever it was. The anticipation. I miss it. And it's like connecting and it's like, oh and it's like, oh, we're almost there. Oh, no, mom, get off the phone. Then the phone rings, yeah. I miss downloading music illegally. Yeah, LimeWire.
Starting point is 00:10:52 That was fun. That's an O-L-I, LimeWire. It made you feel so more deeply connected to the song. And then you would get it, and you'd realize, oh, no. Why is Flex all over this? Shut up, they just looped the chorus. I spent 90 minutes trying to download this song and why is the disturbed, why is the disturbed, wow!
Starting point is 00:11:16 That's the grill, you bastard! Oh man, dial up internet is an undercover good one because I also miss having to manually connect But also the benefits of being able to disconnect in a world now where you never feel like you can you're off the grid or like They like people don't have access to you your whereabouts your kid It felt good to be able to opt in to being connected and then click it off and I'm gone. I'm a ghost now I have a toxic trait that dates back to like the Kazaa LimeWire days, which is if I hear a song
Starting point is 00:11:49 from an era in which I downloaded that song illegally, if I hear the normal version of the song, I will start adding the parts that I remember from when I illegally downloaded it. From the pirated version. So like if you hear, if Fabulous is going, y'all can't deny it, I'll just go, no Fabulous! In the background, because there's this killer song,
Starting point is 00:12:13 and I know there's a lot of people that are with me on this level right now. There is a, when you were young version that was on like LimeWire back in the day, where you just hear, K-Rock, before it gets into it, because that's where someone clipped the illegal stream and put it on the file sharing service,
Starting point is 00:12:35 and I guarantee you, there are about a half dozen 40 year olds in those killer concerts that'll just under their breath go, K-Rock. I mean that's how they used to break records back in the day like yes Let me like give it to the streets for real trap shit You know what I mean? It was like yo if it's a real trap you that I got all the exclusive Cannon come here cannon. Yeah cannon mixtape number four having to buy tickets in person You couldn't buy them on the phone. You know like you I could buy them on an app
Starting point is 00:13:04 I couldn't go I had to go to the movie theater. I had to go to the game. I had to go to one of these things and like actually burn my parents. I still do that at a pretty high rate. Go to will call. Yeah, I still, I'm a, I'll hit the box office. You save money. I used to, I used to do that for like games. Like I go on off days. I could go to like the AAA if I wanted to go to a heat game and go like on an off day. Because I'd save like convenience fees and then they started charging me a convenience fee. I'm like this is Inconvenient like you should be paying me. I had to drive over here What's the most convenient way for you to sell tickets? Yeah, it's hand-to-hand. What are you?
Starting point is 00:13:36 What am I giving you this fee for? Yeah, I'm with you man. Number three home phones. I Miss a good home phone like a landline? Yeah, like a landline. They had the wired ones, but then the wireless ones came out. And then you were on the phone like, yo, what's up? Let's link up. Uh-huh. I miss being a teenager calling my friend's house to see if he's home and then talking to the weird dad that
Starting point is 00:13:56 scared me. I don't like that. Yeah. You're like, is Chris home? Hey, sir. Yeah, is Tony home? No, he's out playing with his friends. All right, sir.
Starting point is 00:14:04 I'll talk to him. I'm one of his friends too, sir. I just wanted to let you know that thank you And then you call back the second time hello still not there and you're bothering this dude. I'm like, I'm so sorry I'm never tied up the phone line. I'll just not live. I'm trying to get on the internet She can't because you keep calling who is this guy Mike? Why did you keep calling me? number two throwing the coin in the top booth? When you wipe by the top basket Yeah, of course you never did that
Starting point is 00:14:31 Your parents car like they rolled on the window of course I would be in the do it I would be in the passenger seat be like puppy throw this in the and then I throw it Over and then it go on if it bounced out was the war They were be very like these rim protectors sometimes yeah That was a bad annoying that they didn't want you to have a swoosh sound. Yeah. It was terrible. I miss those though.
Starting point is 00:14:48 You would ricochet off of it and then you're like getting out of your car because that was your last quarter. And people were honking behind you, bam, bam, bam. You're like, I'm sorry. I gotta get changed now. They have these braces over the coat. Number one, smoking sections in restaurants. I miss them.
Starting point is 00:15:04 I miss them. There's no way you have a memory of that. Of course I do I remember I remember vividly going to the ale house Going to the ale house the Miller ale house right there on on Kendall one 15th or whatever that would be and I remember them being like smoking or not smoking to my dad and they'd be like non-smoking But then we'd be sitting right next to the smoking section. The smoke would just go over the booth It would always go over. I remember that vividly. I remember he watching a heat Knicks playoff game there I don't know way 99. Am I am I on the there's no way I kept telling you Sections go away in South Florida. I don't know
Starting point is 00:15:35 I remember one memory of a Benegans who the same one just up the street from that Millers a house staking ill

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