The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - PTFO - The Best Voice in Sports Goes Deep

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

You might think that calling a game is easy. That Tom Brady can do this in his sleep. Jon "Boog" Sciambi, announcer for the Chicago Cubs and "MLB: The Show," teaches Pablo why the human voice is an instrument that requires restraint and distinction to record the first draft of sports history, then pass it down like an heirloom. Come for the PTFO dictionary's debut in the broadcast booth; stay for Nic Cage murdering Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg with a Toyota Outback at Wrigley Field. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre and today we're gonna find out what this sound is. Pablo Torre the hero as he knocks in Velociraptor and the Cubs walk it off. Right after this ad. You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. work. So this is true. My first ever road game as a broadcaster with the then Florida Marlins, it was at Wrigley Field. It was, I believe, still the coldest first pitch temperature on record. 28 degrees. I finished the pregame.

I have to come back to do the lineups, but I have to really go to the bathroom. Old Wrigley field was two urinals, one stall. Run into the men's room quickly, take care of it. I'm washing my hands as I'm washing my hands. As I'm washing my hands, Harry Carey walks in. I have not met him. But that will come. Sure as God made green apple, someday the Chicago Cubs are gonna be in the World Series. And maybe sooner than we think. He goes to the stall and from the stall as I'm drying my hands he says out loud

not to me I'm just standing there but he says out loud God is my witness I got so many goddamn clothes on I can't find my d*** and I look around around and I'm like, wait that just happened? And that was it. You didn't go and here's the zip. Here's the tutu. That happened. That's why we do, that's why you do this job. It was taught to me a long time ago that pretty much everyone speaks about an octave higher than what they should and they speak out of here.

So you basically just get- Pointing to your throat there. Right, and so you basically just get yourself more to your diaphragm. So I'm able to get myself to a place where I sort of regulate and just, I'm calmer, and then it's just more natural. I am in awe of how deep in your diaphragm you walk. So deep.

I'm doing it right now. I'm like, my energy levels will bring me higher. And only when I started podcasting in earnest did I realize like, I'm like going through podcast, microphone management, puberty. And this sounds so clean, right, Nate? You know what I mean? Because I'm so used to nat sounds and stuff like that.

So this sounds, I mean, you could just leave me in here and I would just talk to myself. I'm tempted. Like there is a musicality to, and I say this to you all the time, that you have the best voice in announcing, let alone baseball, and you're making faces with your red glasses that betrays the best voice in announcing, let alone baseball, and you're making faces with your red glasses that betrays the reality.

When somebody says that I have a nice voice, I feel, I appreciate it, but I would also say it's like trying to tell somebody, I don't even wanna come up with a crappy metaphor. Okay, so I'm just jumping in here because I need to save Boog from his own self-deprecation and also because obviously I love crappy metaphors. And to that point, the human voice is an instrument. And while lots of us just sort of pluck our banjos as broad broadcasters. John Boog-Shiambe has a Stradivarius tucked deep inside his diaphragm, as you can already tell.

It's why Boog is the voice of the Chicago Cubs doing play-by-play on their TV broadcasts. It's why he's the voice of MLB, the show, the wildly popular video game. And it's also why Boog calls college basketball and baseball for ESPN and was just named the national radio voice of the World Series last year. But as audible as his job is, Boog recently got in my ear after listening to one particular conversation we had on this very show about the prospects of a rookie broadcaster, a real up-and-com, named Tom Brady. And Boog argued to me that while millions of us clearly listen to game broadcasts, the vast majority of people in

America simply do not understand the most basic mechanics of what happens in the booth. And that I, allegedly, might be one of those people. So I asked Boog to help me find out, if that's the case, what he really does. And he invited me to sit in the booth with him, actually, and hear everything that he hears, all of which we'll get to. But first, we do need to get back to the matter of Boog's ego. And my own. Who counts as the best in this craft, which I brought you on here to both shame me about. I did not.

Yes, you did. We're going to save it because we got to fully explore. The audience is going to be mad at me. John Miller, I think uses his voice. Yeah, I just, I love him and I think Vince Gully used his voice. Sure. Really, really well. Fastball is a high drive in the deep left center field. Buckner goes back to the fence. It is gone. I would say, if it's not Vince Gully in my estimation, I think John is the next greatest.

Give me a little John Miller so people can situate themselves in the theater. John Miller is the voice of the San Francisco Giants. He was the longtime voice of Sunday Night Baseball on television, the original voice with Joe Morgan. There they go. And the pinch. Swing and a long drive to left center field.

It is gone! A grand slam! The Orioles have won it! And you say this as somebody who is now the voice of the World Series on ESPN Radio. Yeah. This is the, your voice carries here, so to speak. Right.

But he sounds like what? Give me a little John Miller in that way. It has some Vin Sing- Vin sing songy to it. It's sort of playful. There's a shot deep down the left field line, way back there. One of the ones in my head would be, I remember in the World Series,

there was a pop-up to the left side and the shortstop was Edgar Renteria, and sort of in post-play describing it, he said, and Joe Renteria went back and said, Yo la Tango, and then he tangoed it. And like that's John, you know, just that playfulness and- And an almost kind restraint. No doubt.

And there's also, look, there's a cleverness and a wit that is pretty unparalleled. The story that I was gonna tell was, I had missed a dinner a previous night after having maybe a couple too many and I jokingly, I was supposed to meet Rick Sutcliffe and Dave O'Brien and I'm out in the hallway and John Miller walks by and Sutcliffe says,

do you believe it? Boog stiffed us for dinner last night, said a man named Jack Daniels beat his butt and that's why he couldn't show up. And John without missing a beat says, well that's why he couldn't show up. And John, without missing a beat says, uh, well that's nothing. A couple days ago I was mugged by three chocolate chip cookies. I really admire the way so many of these guys do their jobs and the gift for the language,

the humor, and it's also using the voice, right? The job is so fascinating to me and I've been shadowing you at work. Oh gosh. I was at Citi Field with you, in the booth with you, wearing the headset. Because again, you shamed me, which I'll explain. I keep on saying I'll explain it, I will eventually. But the point is that you're using an instrument

that is by design not supposed to be electric guitar solo. There is a restraint that's built in, but inside of that space, you get to be, not just to lard all of this with like just highfalutin-ness, but there is an art to this. And how you learned that art, and how I apparently, allegedly, fail to understand it is why you're here.

I do feel like there's art out there. I don't feel like that's what I'm producing. I would tell you that for me, it's accessing five-year-old me who likes to play. And the willingness to play is what brings out my authentic self. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you say that so self-consciously, your authentic self. I do, yeah. Right, well, I feel like it gets said a lot. I don't, and then, you know, from a crafting it standpoint,

I just think that, you know, you look at so many of the great calls, you know, from a, you know, crafting it standpoint, I just think that, you know, you look at so many of the great calls, you know, the Gibson home run, the radio call is Jack Bucks, I don't believe what I just saw. One of the things that I always point out is the best part about that call is he doesn't do it once, he does it twice. He says, I don't believe what I just says, I don't believe what I just saw.

I don't believe what I just saw from Ecker's Lee. Gibson swings and a flying ball to deep right field. This is going to be a home run. Unbelievable. A home run for Gibson. And the Dodgers have won the game five to four. I don't believe what I just saw. I don't believe what I just saw. And then Vins call on TV is in a year that has been so improbable the impossible has happened. High fly ball into right field, she is gone.

In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened. I just, I don't know, man. I mean, look, for some people, I'm sure it doesn't speak to them, but they had one shot at it. Nobody- So I wanna explain the stakes of this,

because it's not just that you're announcing a game for an audience that is used to a century plus of tradition. Yeah. Like you can't be an electric guitarist because the electric guitar in this metaphor that I'm torturing was not invented when they fell in love with the game. So it's just a restriction on like what you have available to you. And then there's the live

definitional aspect of like you are you are writing the first draft of history in this way of sports history. And if you f**k it up, it's going to be recorded that way in every highlight that gets played for eternity. I go into it thinking it's a chance be recorded that way in every highlight that gets played for eternity I go into it thinking it's a chance for me to do something great I don't contemplate it as what if I fuck it up is the first thing the other part that I would say in terms of how long People have done it and it's one of the handicaps for young people in the sport

and that is The games been broadcast for it's the ultimate Broadcasting sport because there's so much space and because they've been broadcasting it longer than any of the other sports right hours upon hours in all these senses and So we all try to sound like a 67 year old white guy So I want to talk so like there's a ground ball to short with a guy on first, and there is still a part of me that wants to, you know, so, okay, so Imanagi gives up fly balls, and I'm a dork for mentioning that, but it's like tonight if there's a man on first,

you know, he could really use a ground ball, and it's like on the ground to short, Swanson to Horner, on to Bush, and that's just what the doctor ordered. And there's a part of me that has to resist saying that, but the part of on the Bush and that's just what the doctor ordered and it would there's a part of me that has to resist saying that but the part of me that's saying that is because that's the type of s*** that I heard and it worked for the person off that but like that's not how I speak and so I really I really want to be as far away from that as possible.

I want to give you as much of me as I can. I've learned and come to appreciate that all of us everywhere are imitating somebody, but within these industries where there is a gold standard, unconscious or not, it gets passed down like an heirloom. That you, I assume, when you fell in love with this, we're imitating somebody. No question. I still do it in different spaces.

One of my favorite calls, and this will hurt some people and love other people, but one of my favorite calls is the Buckner play by Scully. Three and two to Mookie Wilson. Little Roller up along first. Behind the bag. It gets through Buckner. Here comes Knight and the Mets win it.

Sometimes someone will hit a little roller up along first and all of a sudden I find myself like just rolling into that call. But like, yeah, when I'm doing basketball, I will steal. I was gonna say you also do college basketball for ESPN all of the time. I will steal puts it in.

Breen is someone that uses that all the time. Or Mike Gorman when I was at BC is a big, got it. Pierce for the game. Got it. And I don't know, it just comes out. So. Yeah, I bothered you about this. You refused to develop a catchphrase. Yeah.

I, it's, I, bang it's I think I none of that for you and I love Breen. I want you to bang Boog. Why don't you bang? Hartenstein gets it out to Ananobe. DiVincenzo a three. Bang! Next take a one point lead. I actually you know what that's not true. That's not I do have a catchphrase I actually do have a catchphrase now that you know it's funny this is how but this is how I want it to be I have a catchphrase actually and I Started using it with the Cubs when the game is over. I bark ballgame What's the intonation? Ball game! I just started doing it and it just happened.

Like, that's it. So I was in the booth with you for the Cubs-Mets game and it struck me, like, the degree to which you can show off in a game, right? The degree to which you can sort of like put the ball between your legs and spin it around. I don't know when you feel that but there was a moment when you just showcased it to me. And it was I believe the bottom of the third. Okay. And I was like, hey Boog, people make fun of me on this program, Poblatoria finds out, because I say phrases that are impossible to diagram and for some people, impossible to understand at all.

Just so many angles on Tom Brady and just so many curves. Oh, voluptuous. Truly Zoftic, I believe they used to say in the 1920s. Voluptuous. Truly zaftig, I believe they used to say in the 1920s. And so we gave you a couple of options, like, hey, can you do something with us? This is a menu. Yeah, a menu of just ridiculous highfalutinisms. Yes.

Do we have the clip of what I provided Boog, the menu item that he ended up, that I ended up suggesting to him. I've been described as truly Zafdig as they'd say in the 19 twenties. That guy's not afraid to put ketchup on his hot dog. Bounced a third backhanded Madrigal and Alonzo retired. There's two away. Did you say Zafdig? Zafdig. Can you break that down for me? Monzo retired, there's two away. Did you say zaftig? Zaftig. Can you break that down for me? Plump.

What's that? I've never heard that term before. Well, that's what they would say in the 20s. Yeah, zaftig. Yeah. I'm here to help. I had my friend Pablo Torre with me to just- JD's giggling.

He's feeding me smart words like they would say at Harvard. And then you continued to call a broadcast that was utterly professional. So the part that's funny is that to me part of what makes that funny is Bouncer to Third and Magical throws it to first like but that's the autopilot that just kicks in. It was the best. That's what kicks in. And so we do the bit and the line and then the balls that play. And it's like, oh, we got to get this going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to force you to keep doing that as a side note, as I continue to just truly harangue you into doing things for my total benefit. And no one else is. So we should explain that your voice matters to me in all the ways we've discussed, but also because I've been searching for fair criticism of myself. and you have been I told you this before the show was launched Yes, that we needed an ombudsman of sorts the ombudsman and you said What about the ombudsman? And I forgot about it yeah, because we're doing a zillion shows

Yes, and then at some point I believe you texted and then called and then generally harassed me about how I gave one of the worst takes you'd heard. You and Mina. Me and Mina had given one of the worst takes you'd heard. Smart people say dumb things. All right. So, in short, what Mina and I both said back in February on this program is that Tom Brady is gonna be good at broadcasting

That's basically the take Brady if you hadn't heard is gonna be doing color commentary alongside Kevin Harlan on Fox in September Brady is getting paid 375 million dollars over 10 years Reportedly to do it. Yeah, Mina and I basically bought Brady stock and I argued confidently that Brady's previous life as the greatest quarterback of all time is absolutely going to transfer to the booth. Tom Brady where it's just like, whatever his take is, is inherently interesting because that's how good he used to be.

His one personality trait that we know of is competitive freak. He's probably been doing an insane amount of preparation. Like he is not like the criticism of Romo now is that he's maybe not as prepared as he was initially. This is these are all the, you know, leaked stories we're seeing. That's not going to be the case with Tom Brady based on everything we know about him. And it went viral in announcing circles, it sounds like, where people were like, these f***ing alleged smart people. I don't know about that.

I think most people were on your side, to be honest. Oh, I mean to say publicly, yes, and Dan was on the other side of that. But Mina, I would say to you as someone who has done that, I would say to you as someone who has a lot of information at her disposal, you know how fast all that moves. You can prepare for that. Tom Brady, I'm sure, will have a lot of things to say

and not enough time to say them because you are not prepared for how quickly all of that moves when you've got 700 sheets of paper in front of you and you need to know. And Dana's always on the wrong side of history. Always on the wrong side. Dan LeBattard on the right side. That's the thing that where I am, yeah,

I'm just gently. It's a dangerous place for you to be. It's a dangerous place, yeah. On his side. Me and LeBattard down on a limb is just in, I mean, there's no joke, you don't even need, yeah. But the announcing circles I refer to are people who actually are announcers who were like,

Oh, that's why you came out. I mean, that's, that's the, the genesis of all this was we went back and forth. I sent him a voice text and mildly berated him if that's possible. Please recap what the argument was as you understood it. Please recap what the argument was as you understood it. I just thought it's hard to be an analyst and the idea that look if you're betting on it more often than not these guys come to become color analysts they're not very good. The ex-athletes like in this case, Tom Brady was the guy. And there's so many reasons for it. I mean, I would say number one is they're not gonna respect it and put the work into it that they put into their game. But then the next part that I would say that you guys were missing is just this idea of,

like when Tom Brady's playing the other team, he doesn't know the first and last name of all 11 on the other side. He knows the corner's bad and he can pick on them, but he doesn't know his first and last name. When the ball's thrown to him and he's broadcasting a game, he's gotta say his first and last name. And accessing that is a completely different skill set

than the idea of, oh, he's open, I can throw it to him. Like, it's completely different. Where I was baffled by your take was but he also has the most sophisticated high-speed processing of the mechanics of the game Yeah, as you know, he's dissecting a defense in a booth the way that he would presumably on the field And then he's got to say it and that has nothing to do with him playing quarterback If in the booth they allowed him to throw the ball, I'm not saying, look, he might be good, but I was annoyed that you guys gave him

the benefit of the doubt that you think just cause he can process, that he can process and spit it back out. No, we'll see if he can. I think what I underrated, which is hard for me to now dispute to you, to your face, is that the skill is transferable. Like the hardest part about all of this would be,

can you diagnose the play? Can you give, can you do the prophecy thing, which Romo was famed for until he stopped being famed for it. But like that to me feels like the unicorn skill of like, tell me the future. But for it to be executed at the highest, highest level, it's two parts. It is diagnosing and articulating.

And the diagnosing part certainly replicates what he does in his former job. The articulating has nothing to do with it and is a completely separate skill and to prognosticate that he will be good at it we're all just kind of guessing. Like part of me was like I just want to see it. Yeah right. Like I don't care if he's bad I just want to see if he can swim and if he's gonna tell me the future and

even if it's clumsy I'll take it and you're saying that oh your face your face is already like this is gonna be it's not, I'll take it. And you're saying that, oh, your face, your face is already like, this is gonna be, it's not what you, okay, what is your face suggesting? What do you mean? I just wanna see it. I don't, I mean, look, an example to your point, in my opinion, would be listening to LeBron and JJ do that podcast because everybody has talked for years

about LeBron being a savant. And so far on that podcast, you're watching and it's like, LeBron being a savant and so far on that podcast you're watching and it's like man He's a savant. They have a one set that they run off all free throws. Chet takes the ball out They send two guys to the other end and now Shay has it on the right wing or the left wing or whatever case may be At the same time that the big is trying to load on Shay There's a guard that's flaring check to the opposite slot. Do you know how hard that is? They're flaring a seven footer to the opposite slot.

But it's not happening in live real time. Right. And that's the distinction. And look, don't get me wrong. I am not a brain surgeon. You're calling Tom Brady unclutch. Chokes under pressure. Yes, that's correct.

It's we're not rocket science. I also would tell you this, they do a terrible job in our industry training the analysts to explain to them, hey man, don't call them the mic. You can refer to the mic, but like, if you wanna be, and this is again, these are opinions, but like, I want them. It's not, if there's a pop-up to be great, and this is again, these are opinions, but like I want it's not it's not if there's a pop-up to shallow

Right JD can't call in the second basement. Yeah, Jim DeShay is your partner. Yeah Yeah, it's like you can't call him and the second basement goes out No, man, no who went out like you got it because there's a story to who the second basement is there's a story to who the second basement is. So like, that's the part of it that I don't know that gets completely articulated. And being able to do it efficiently, being able to do it in a manner where you're really hitting the points that need to be hit. So one of the criticisms that I had read just in the press that executives had sort of levied against

Romo people have done this for decades upon decades right was that he wasn't doing enough storytelling as the analyst as the color guy what does that what does that mean I wouldn't because I don't know that I would say that in a live game that I think it's it's hard to ask the analyst to be the storyteller I would say that the play-by-play guy is the analyst to be the storyteller. I would say that the play-by-play guy is more trained to be the storyteller. I would say initially he was someone that did the, you know, the prognosticating.

To me, and again, I think that there are certain people that are gonna care and certain people that are not, and I realize now I'm turning into like the, the douchebag on the hill waving the wand. But I think, yeah, there's just a little more sort of game flow stuff. Like on the final play of the Super Bowl. Yes.

Be quiet. Not great. Can only feel the number of people out there being like, what's going on? First and goal. Mahomes flings that Super Bowl. It's there! Hartman, jackpot, Kansas City!

And this was the Andy Reid special. This was the Andy Reid special. We talked about he was saving all day. He's got a fake emotion to go across. And at that moment, he turns and goes back. Hartman, who they didn't have, right? You know what? The guy called play.

Right. Right, right, right. Like there's a flow to the- So the dance. Yeah, there's a dance, man. That's what I observed with you and JD, Jim Deshaies, former pitcher in the 80s, who is also, like shockingly, given his demographics, statistically fluent and incredibly literary.

Just curious, smart, yeah, man. He's so awesome. So I wanna say about your broadcast is that it is traditional in the ways that are obvious insofar as you respect what this should sound like. But it also is subversive in the way that you weave in like advanced statistics. Which I think is less about a personal, we've talked about this, less about a personal crusade you have,

although of course you are moneyball curious, long have been. It's that this is how the actual sport f**king talks. That's right. At the highest levels, they are talking not about, okay, so for you, what stats in baseball, as just an example here in football,

there are parallels, but in baseball, what you do, what stats are the ones that fans focus on that actually people who make decisions don't give a shit about? Wins, pitcher wins, they don't care about. Runs batted in for the most part, they don't really care about. Runs scored individually, they don't really care about.

I was telling you off the air about stories. In the middle of the game last year, I texted Jed Hoyer, who's the president of baseball operations for the Cubs. And I said, who leads our team in RB eyes? And he guessed and he was wrong. And then he asked Carter Hawkins, who's the general manager and he guessed and he was wrong. And then he asked our head of R and D and he guessed and he was wrong. They were all for three, The guys who are running the team. So, I mean, look, my point is simply we can sit there and everybody can get cranky about, I don't want to turn it into

math class, but I also would say I feel some journalistic or reporter responsibility to deliver, this is what they're looking at. Here's how they are being evaluated. And this is what it is. The two stats that correlate the most with run scoring are on base and slugging. So every offensive stat, whether it's weighted runs created plus or Woba is some derivation of those two together. So look, you have to focus on the way these players

are being evaluated if you want to do something that delivers some form of accuracy. Yeah, and so when I was shadowing you in this take your child to work day kind of dynamic, we were on the field, I was yelled at for touching the grass by the city field guardian of grass. He was like, you can't be on the grass. This guy can, you can't. And I was shamed like a child, like an actual child. And I backed away. It was good too, because the guy came over and said, you can't be on the grass, but he can.

And then when we were leaving the field, another guy came over and even though we were on the dirt, he said, don't go in the grass. Yeah, I'm a habitual grass stepper. Yeah. And in the process, I was watching you report. I mean, in a sense, research. You have on your phone an advanced statistical personalized stat packet

that you have provided by a personal researcher. Yep. You have your iPad in which you score the game on a tablet as you would by hand, but now you have just a searchable archive for, I guess, forever. And you're having these conversations with people on the other team, the home team in this case, the Mets on your side, you're watching VP.

And I was watching you have conversations that I then heard you work into the broadcast. And I was just like, okay, Boog is working. Like this is, this is the unseen stuff that I did not anticipate when I gave my takes about how Tom Brady's gonna be awesome. And it culminated in just a broadcast that didn't show the seams. Like all of this is about what you did for me with that Zoftig thing into your research.

It was like, oh, the point is that you want people on some level to not know how hard it is yeah I think I mean I I feel uncomfortable saying I don't want to make it seem like you have like a dozen tabs open like searching like that ball came off the ball came off the bat a hundred and one mile whatever it was. You were like... Give it another reading. I can't. I'm so self-conscious.

...the middle of the Mets batting order. Ripped into left field. Wow, did that hang up and Hatt makes the catch. Too hard. 113 miles per hour on a line. The other part that you picked up on very quickly is the social aspect of it. Oh, yeah. Oh, we f***ing, I forgot we met, I met Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling, neighboring to your booth and Gary Cone, Gary

Keith and Ron. And it's that way all the time. You guys, Ewan Taylor, who is the on-field reporter for you guys, handed Keith Hernandez customized Oreos with his cat, Haji. Haji. Oh my God. Yeah. Wait till I get home while I wake Haji up and show him. Yeah, that's right. A little salmon and maybe an Oreo for dessert. Oh, that's so sweet.

You guys are the best. I want to know how you're going to eat them. Did you see that? I saw them. Unbelievable. Look at that. Wow. Keith Hernandez and Haji.

And Haji. 21 and a half he is. Yeah, his birthday. And so there are two sets of cookies. We got Keith Oreos that have just Haji and then Keith and Haji, because we thought it'd be funny. I don't think Keith Hernandez will be happier

this season than he was during that moment. It was magnificent. All Taylor McGregor right there. And so you mentioned Andy Green, who works now in the Mets front office. He was the Cubs bench coach last year. Smart baseball guy. I'm excited to see Andy Green.

I like Andy. And there are so many people throughout my time that I've connected with. David Stearns, I got to know through Craig Council when he was with Milwaukee, I was really happy to get a chance to see him. And we talk baseball and then yes, I get to use it on the air.

And all of it in some dorky way kind of nourishes me, my head for sure because these are interesting, smart people, and they provide really good content and perspective. But then also the social component, the connective, you know, I'm hugging Andy Green, I had a pen explode on me, I got pen all over him. Andy Green. Your hand was covered in ink. Andy Green doesn't like being hugged.

What are you gonna do? Yeah. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I invaded your personal space as you were invading Andy Green's't like being hugged. What are you gonna do? Yeah. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I invaded your personal space as you were invading Andy Green's personal space. That's a good way to put it. But I wanna get to, can I have you do some stuff here? Absolutely.

Where's Cortez? Cortez's running around? Oh yeah, Cortez. I've been telling him to help me prepare for this last part of the show. Which is a dangerous thing to foreshadow. Yeah, I can't even. there's gonna be stuff on here that, oh my gosh, yeah. Yeah, we might both lose our jobs.

That's fair. I'm willing to risk it all. So you heard me mention before that Bugshyambi is the voice of the most popular baseball video game in existence, MLB the Show. What I did not mention, however, is that that video game is so intricate that if you were at bat, let's say, and you repeatedly asked for timeout, Virtual Boog would get a little frustrated with you. Time called. This is brutal.

No one has time for this. Just hit pause. And that is the thing about baseball in a nutshell. Approximately one zillion weird scenarios can happen in a game, like someone abusively calling for time. And these scenarios can involve a zillion different people. And so I wanted to understand what doing that job, the job of the guy who has to simulate, call all of these hypotheticals, what that job involves so that this show and maybe the show as a result could take full advantage of that too.

Okay, so MLB the show. Yeah. I want to introduce this concept by explaining how it is you did that job. Yeah. What did it involve? So there's multiple things, but there's base hit left field, here comes the runner around third and the Mets are going to the World Series

and then base hit runner comes around third and the Mets are going to the NLCS. Like I have to do every version of it. And then- Every possible timeline. You are a Nexus announcer. And then I have to do, and then I have to do your name. And I do Pablo Torre. Torre.

Torre. Torre. So that they can stitch it all together. And that's for everybody's name. Are you afraid of being replaced by AI Boog? Nah, not really. I mean, eventually I probably will ask for it. The part that I love is that I do some of it in my apartment in Chicago, and it dawns on me, even with, you know, soundbuffling, etc. that the people across the hall from me are like,

man, he is just so into his craft. Or just like, that guy is insane. Yeah, he's just practicing his home run calls. That serial killer. Smug on Melton. Yeah. That's me. So, but truly, like when you do the math on it, it's like thousands upon thousands of reads.

So I would say, so we've done, I think I've done it for five years, and in five years we've done over 300 hours of recording. My God. So. So you are, I mean, you are, your consciousness is effectively uploaded into the MLB, the show. Yeah, it's intense.

And so what I am gonna venture to guess is that you were never asked to describe some of the following scenarios. Go. This is gonna be hard because what I did was assemble a writers room of Mike Schur and Alan Yang and Mina Kimes and me and Cortez just vaping in the corner. Yeah, sure is. Uselessly. I basically am giving you the office writers room and I was like, they're all baseball fans. What do you guys want to hear? And they gave me some prompts. So I'm gonna give you the office writers room and I was like they're all baseball fans What do you guys want to hear and they gave me some prompts?

So I'm gonna give you the prompt. Yeah, and I want you to call this like it's happening In a sporting event. Yep So here's one prompt. Yep in the middle of a Royals Twins game Mm-hmm Nicholas Cage drives onto the field in a Subaru outback and attacks the shortstop with a nerf gun Nicolas Cage drives onto the field in a Subaru Outback and attacks the shortstop with a Nerf gun. Um... This is so stupid. It is. It's really... it's really... 2-2 to Buxton is foul back and a count remains even and whoa, hey, what do we got here?

Look, there's a car in the field! Good lord! And it's out at short Bobby Witt Jr. is backpedaling. He is, that's Nick Cage. Goodness, Nick Cage is out of the Toyota Outback and he's got a gun. He's got this, what is going on over there? Oh, it's a Nerf gun. Everybody will be fine.

He's shooting the Nerf gun at Bobby Witt Jr. This is terrible. I stink at this. Let's say it's Mets Cubs. Yeah. And in the stands is Sir Anthony Hopkins. Okay. He's wearing a, well actually, he's wearing and then systematically eating in its entirety a sombrero made out of tortilla chip material. And if there's guacamole, there's salt, there's nacho cheese. Back here in Wrigley as we go to the top of the fourth, Cubs lead the Mets 4-0.

Oh, and look who's here today, Sir Anthony Hopkins. Tell you one of the great things about coming to Wrigley Field is a giant sombrero hat made out of tortilla chips. And nobody loves it more than that guy Sir Anthony Hopkins and I mean JD look at him getting down on that sombrero hat the guac's going everywhere I think I see some fava beans there you know that he is enjoying himself a little bit of Chianti and oh gosh get him a napkin for the love of God clean it up okay Alan Yang submitted this one can you have Boog do Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja

Turtles arm wrestling Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor to a violent emotional draw that culminates in a Embrace may be respectful but wary So whatever your spin on that is Back here at Wrigley and chide now for our heavyweight arm wrestling matchup It'll be Sonia Sotomayor and Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and away we go release the arms and Leonardo go, release the arms and Leonardo. Very, very strong. He's got Sonia Sotomayor close to a win.

Very, very close. Sonia Sotomayor back the other way. She's got some guns. I got nothing else. Okay, hold on. What if you're calling a cub game, you're at Yankee Stadium, in the bullpen, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg are there. And they're actually going to do their MMA fight during the seventh inning of this Yankees-Cubs

game. And after a few sad moments of wrestling, they suddenly just decide to start staring in each other's eyes. And they start kissing. Gently. Am I allowed to change it? Of course. Okay. So here it is, the matchup we've been waiting for.

Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. They will square off in this UFC Battle Royale. And we are underway, and Elon right now with the upper hand. Elon with a takedown, and he's punching him in the face, punching him harder. Wait, what's that? It's Nicolas Cage! He's driving his Toyota Outback onto the field, and he has run them both over and killed them. And this fight is over. That is, that is so stupid.

Yeah. All right, Boog. At the end here, there's only one way to sort of send you off into your job. Can you call me hitting a game-winning triple at Wrigley Field? I'm Chicago Cub this time. Right. My teammate on first base scoring the game-winning triple at Wrigley Field. I'm Chicago Cub this time. Right. My teammate on first base,

scoring the game-winning run is a velociraptor. Yes, it's just figuring out how to open doors and hit off-speed pitches. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. That just happened. It's progress.

But now we're here, bottom of the ninth. Okay. Two down, bottom of the ninth. The Cubs try to pull out a win. It's a 2-2 game. Clay Holmes in the mound for the Yankees. And here's the Cubs, Pablo Torre. Right hand hitter digs in. Velociraptor over there at first. Holmes listens in for the sign. And he's ready. The kick and the pitch. Swing and a ball driven. Right field towards the corner.. Swing it a ball driven. Right field, towards the quarter,

slicing, fair ball! That's gonna get into the corner and Velociraptor is on his horse! On his way to third, Velociraptor, they're gonna send him! Soto trying to dig it out, Velociraptor on his way to the plate and save! Ball game, Cubs win! Pablo Torre the hero as he knocks in Velociraptor and the Cubs walk it off! Boog, you are too good of a friend to be. Thank you for doing this. Absolutely. Love you, buddy. This was fun. Um, God bless. Thanks for having me, man. So the show isn't over yet. And it could be, obviously, but it isn't, because I got one more thing, a bonus thing,

I didn't know where to put, but I just wanted to hand to you before you go. And it is not another Tom Brady take, even though I would say that my desire to watch him try and pluck his banjo, as it were, on live television has now been at least partially satiated by that orgy of humiliation that was the Netflix roast from a couple weeks ago. Also it was kind of, it was a little weird right that he got up and strenuously objected to the Bob Kraft handjob joke but nothing else, nothing else involving his like family or ex-wife or anything. It's a little weird, right? I digress.

The reason this episode isn't over yet is because I had one more request, a shameless romantic request for Buk. What are we doing? Is the rain seen from the notebook? I give that a shot because I would say that I've seen that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll admit it. I've seen it. Well, looks like it's going to rain.

Ryan Gosling knows it's going to rain. Now it's raining, everybody. Oh, boy. What are we going to do? Yeah, the sweater on top of your head is going to help a whole heck of a lot. I feel like a very, very personal conversation is about to be had, because the rain is making Rachel McAdams very uncomfortable. He's laughing, she's laughing, everybody's laughing, everybody's

laughing. Oh yes and there's joy, it's rain, it's like washing away all of the painful memories from back in the day and she wants to know how come you never wrote me isn't that what happens I think that's what happened now it's serious she's staring at him we're gonna get close yeah the lightning just flashed dock the boat already Ryan for the love of God she's furious she went from joyous in the rain and she wants to know how come he didn't wait for her. And now she's turning around. He's still going to put the boat up on the dock though. Let's go. Why? We all want to know why.

She waited for him. She waited for him. Well, how come your mom hid the letters? Huh? That's what I want. How come you're, we all want to know your mom hid the letters? Huh? That's what I want. How come you're- we all want to know. Your mom hid the letters. He wrote every single day. I've seen the movie. I'm not embarrassed by it. Yeah, it wasn't over. It's never over. It's not over right now. Come over here. That's all I got. Did they kiss? Bouncing to third and Madrigal over to first and that'll end the inning.

And they're kissing. This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a MetalArk Media Production. And I'll talk to you next time.