The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - South Beach Sessions - Alex Rodriguez

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

Alex Rodriguez has lived the majority of his life under the intense pressure of the public eye - reaching prolific highs and startling lows, leading to his guarded reputation… until now. There’s a deep history for Dan and A-Rod to explore in this unforgettable episode of South Beach Sessions. Alex opens up to Dan about his life-changing experience in intensive therapy, how he’s addressed his shortcomings as a father, and finally learning how to truly move forward from past mistakes. From the truth about his relationship with Derek Jeter to rumors about mythical creatures, A-Rod leaves no stone unturned.  Gum disease affects over 65 million Americans, even baseball legends. When Alex Rodriguez learned that gum disease disproportionately affects people of color, he partnered with OraPharma and Arestin to help bring awareness to the issue. Visit arestin.com for more information about how to protect yourself from gum disease. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to South Beach Sessions. I am very excited that this man is in studio with me. I have known him since he is 17 years old since he was drafted. I was at his mother's house. His sister was making eggs and he was just a young man trying to figure it out. He is now one of, if not the best in the athletes in the history of South Florida, one of the best baseball players ever, and a media tycoon and a business tycoon. You laugh at media tycoon, but I don't know a lot of people that got to work, especially after having some sort of controversy at both the ESPN and Fox at the same time.

I don't think there's a lot of precedent for that. Thank you for being here with us, Alex. Thank you. And I think Jimmy Patera at ESPN and Eric Shanks at Fox were making that happen. And Rob Malfruzer, very helpful. And I've enjoyed my time with both. I want to.

This is what I aspire to. I don't know if we're going to get there or not, but I would like to have the most honest conversation I've ever had with you. And I've done magazine stories on you. And we've talked a lot over the years. But I know that you're very good at this. You're very good at the charm of television at how you present, and so sometimes it can be a thicket

to get in there near the soul of Alex Rodriguez because you know how to share only what you wanna share. So that's what I'm aspiring to. How do you think we're gonna do? I think we're gonna do well because we've known each other almost 30 years, actually 30 years probably more now. Gosh, we're getting old then.

But two things I'm really bad at, what I need your help, but we've talked about this over the years, is I'm a great audio listener, and that's how I learn, I love podcasts, I can't wait to see more of what you're doing. But I'm not a good writer, and I'm not a good reader, right? And you're one of the best writers on the planet.

And when we're offline, I want you to give me some tips on how to become a better writer. Writing's tough, writing is tough. Writing is hard, it's lonely, it is a skill set. I mean, you've done so, so sitting at baseball or so, but writing is a, is a tough one. I think the most failed class in American colleges is in when did you know you were an exceptional writer? Um, well, in high school, I had tea. It was the first thing that teachers told me I was good at anything.

I would say, in fact, I would say that that that's the first time anyone told me I was good at anything because my, uh, my, you know, father was always trying to make proud, was very reluctant with his praise, like a lot of lads and, like, fathers, you know, that, you know, some of this Raphael Palmero Jose Konseco pushed very hard by fathers who were very demanding. You, and I'd like to talk biographically at the beginnings of your life, it's strange from your father, but what can you tell me about the earliest parts of your childhood that you, that you remember?

What are the landmarks for you before we get to some of yeah It's interesting you talk about your father and I Really like your father and respect him a lot. I really missed a show. He was awesome But I think with me having an absent father my father left when I was 10 I'll start then I'll go back to when I was born in New York Dad left at 10 and left home in Westchester. I never forget our address, 8250 Southwest, 12 terrorists, just a few blocks away from my elementary, Everglades Elementary. And where I went to school with hobby, Gomez, and who now worked for us as a chief legal

at a RodCorp, and JDR Chiara who just became the manager head coach for the baseball team at the University of Miami, which I'm thrilled for him. That, for me, as an athlete and as a human being, was a gift and a curse pop-s leaving. One, I think the curse is, obviously, you miss dad, you miss the kick in the ass, you miss the mentorship from a father, and just the guidance of just someone who loves you, infinitely, I guess, right? The gift was that I didn't have a crutch to lean on. I remember a lot of my teammates all had their parents. They will give them a, remember they give them hot dogs in the middle of the game, chips, nachos, sometimes we'll get pizza and the fourth inning, and I was

starving. I didn't have anyone to come give me any food. So I had to kind of do it my own. But going back, I was born in New York in 1975. Both of my parents, Lord, as a victor, Victor has passed now almost 10 years ago. Both Dominicans, immigrants, I was born in New York. At the age of four, they started getting kind of a little bit rough in New York City. And we came to Dominican Republic for four years. And then once I started getting into like the third or fourth grade mom, thought it would be a good idea to get to Miami. So I've been here ever since. Ever since I was nine years old, where I landed at the boys and girls club.

What was your life like in the Dominicaners? That too far, like your earliest memories on stuff on what you had and what you didn't have, what love felt like, all that stuff. Like, where are the early places that you associate with maybe happy childhood? Or was it a happy childhood? Yeah, I think it was very happy. And I think because the main theme in my life was sports. And even though we were humble financially, I always had big dreams and those dreams kind of revolved around sports. It didn't matter what color you were, what language you spoke. It matters if you can contribute to a team. And I just like that. It was like, okay, this is great for myself for steaming back. And actually have a good attitude and be a good player and help us win. There's always going to be a spot for me. And that was great.

But yeah, I think I was a pretty, I was a happy child, yeah. Your mother, you were telling me before we started here, is now 88 vibrant, drink show under the table. You cannot keep up with her. What was the imprinting left by your mother and your sister in raising you in a house that didn't have male male leadership. Yeah, it was interesting. My first eight years of my life, the first four were New York, the next four were in Dominican. So I had a pretty good framing of how things were in New York and Dominican. They were completely different. We lived

in an apartment in New York where my father had a shoe store in our apartment and every woman within three, four miles would come to buy shoes for my father. And I've had so many people over the years say, hey, I used to buy shoes from your father. We're just kind of neat. You live behind it, didn't you? Did you live it?

It's 183rd, an Amsterdam, a block away from the Asch Ashiba University. And that's when my dreams started thinking I had two dreams as a 10-year-old boy. As I used to watch the games after my father was done selling shoes all day, my dad was smoked two packs of cigarettes a day then, and he would drink about 24 beers every day. And complete alcoholic. But I never saw him scream. I never heard him curse. I never heard him raise his voice. My mother in the other hand is where I got my grit and my toughness from. Changplita, a big time, a quick story on my mom,

across the hallway from our apartment in New York. I was probably four. I remember there was a big time drug dealer that lived right across who was tough as nails and everybody feared him and you did not want to get in the crosshairs with this gentleman. And he did something where they did something that was a little bit disrespectful to my sister. I don't think it was a huge deal, but it was probably like they intimidated her or or they raised their voice and my mom gets home from work and she hears us at dinner and around nine o'clock at night. She goes banging on this guy's door and now I'm thinking I'm four. I'm thinking we're all dead. I mean this guy's gonna come with a machine gun and just take us all out. And he goes if I ever see you pointing at him, if I ever hear you talk to any one of my kids,

especially my only daughter, you and I and I mister are gonna have a problem And I'm thinking okay, we're dead. I at least to have a father my mom's dead and He literally backed off and said you know what Mrs. Lordis Apologies my father will never happen again, and I'll give you one better if anyone messes with your family They're gonna have to deal with me. So that was the start of my mom, you know, having conviction and holding her ground. For those who don't know Spanish when I said Chiang Clay, then he said, big time I was talking about Hispanic mothers who throw flip flops

as a way of discipline. Did you need much discipline? Were you a good kid? Were you unruly? I was a good kid then. And you know, early on, you know, now fast forward to when we were 12 and that left at 10, I remember going to publics in Kendall. And the publics is right there, 137th and around Miller. And I remember going, my mom had that time at two jobs. She was secretary in the morning, served tables at night, Atlanta, America right in front of Tammy. I mean, I think it was 97th Coraway and they had the best, you know, best day. Hey, and funny thing.

And by any side, the, oh my God, with rice and beans and my noodles, it was incredible. And I remember going to publics and we were at the check in line, we were paying. And I saw some funny money and I go Don't need time. I've seen that is like monopoly was like red and I said mommy Okay, so what is that and She was embarrassed to tell me and of course it was government money, right?

And it was at that time when I was 12 where I said okay, you know what? I'm the youngest of three and I got to get my ass in gear because I got to help out mom and mom was not a young mom. She was an old-dally mom and was working way too hard. So that was the first time then I had a little reality, talk about the gift and the curse of not having that around. That I knew I needed to be a good kid and that meant three things. One, I had to be a good student to be able to get a scholarship to Columbus or Westminster Christian.

Number two, I had to be a good player to contribute to earn that scholarship. And three, I had to be a good kid. So my friends' parents were, thought I was good enough kid to have them around their kids, and that way I can get a ride home because I was in 16 yet and I didn't drive. So those are the things that started from that public's event. When you talk about government money, I almost associate with you word association with money. As almost the smells like money, looks like money,

makes money, money was something important to you. I don't know whether it was validating to you at all. I do remember the specifics of Kevin Garnett signs the biggest contract in sports, 126 million, and you sign for exactly double that, not a penny less, exactly double the biggest contract in the history of sports. What is your relationship with money?

Were there any insecurities there early on with money? He has funny because I think that was a a Scott Bors production. I didn't know at the time, but I'm sure that 2X above Kevin Garnett, the irony of the Minnesota Timbolves, and the double. I'm sure that was a Scott Bors production. I never asked them, but I'm sure there's something there.

You know, one of my favorite interviews, Dan, that I've ever seen, and I've always been a big fan of your writing first. I mean, people don't realize you're one of the best writers around because your media, career has been so, so good good and so, you know, a fun and center with ESPN and others. Was the interview with Pat Riley and Pat Riley is a great friend and one of my great mentors who I have so much respect for Pat and Chris Riley both of them have been great to me over the years. And you said something to them about like don't let the fancy suits

You know kid you you're a New York street baller, right? Connected a tough guy like yeah, he was he was yes. It's all it's all packaging our money packaging I've been meaning to ask you actually this question. I'll let you finish in a second But at one point I heard that you and he were the only two people anywhere to be found in either America or sports Who can walk into any armony place and take whatever they want without much Issue in terms of your fame. Armani wanted you decked out in Armani There's some truth to that. It wasn't exactly get whatever you want But we had a I think a massive discount Which we kept very quiet for a long time because mr. Armani did not want that word to get whatever you want, but we had a, I think a massive discount, which we kept very quiet

for a long time, because Mr. Amani did not want that word to get out. So I'm very grateful for that. Yeah. So my relationship with Money Den is one that, one of my great passions in life is financial literacy, because one of the things that I see a lot of my colleagues in sports and even acting and people in Hollywood that is not the strong suit is financial literacy because they haven't spent a lot of time doing it just like writing or speaking reps is paramount right and I knew the financial literacy was my way out of that funny money that I saw and witnessed when I was a 12 year old boy at Publix so Um, I think at the beginning there was some imposter syndrome. Obviously. I didn't go to a famous, you know

fancy school. I didn't have it. I don't have my MBA Ironically now. I'm going to my six year of teaching the number one class at Stanford Business School Which is called strategic pivoting Which is another story But I think education is power. And I think a lot of times, I don't know where it comes from, but people try to code finances so much that they make it much harder than what it really is. I think base well does the same thing with all these acronyms. And really at the end of the day, instead of saying a five cap, I'm going to buy this five cap, this beautiful building we're in.

Instead of just saying, is a five percent return, right? So if you put a five cap, I'm gonna buy this five cap, this beautiful building we're in, instead of just saying, is a five percent return, right? So, if you put $100, you need five dollars back. It's so much easier. So, one of the things that I want to do is really democratize investing financial literacies, the only way that we can really empower our future and ensure that we have a good life after sports. Strategic pivoting is what, what is the class? Yeah, I mean, you've done one, Dan.

I mean, I've done one, Dan. I mean, I've done one, right? I've got from strategic pivoting from baseball, professional baseball, to media, to business. You've done it from being an employee at ESPN to now being a media mogul yourself, right? And working with John Skipper and you have this great, I wish you would have came to me because I would have loved to invest with you. So, the pivot for you probably wasn't as scary today because you're in

North of 45 years old, but if you did this pivot at 25, it would be daunting and scary. So a lot of kids that come from these great universities, they have so many options and a lot of people are pivoting from politics to business, from business to education, from education to social work, and we teach them how to make that pivot, how to signal to, from education to social work, and we teach them how to make that pivot, how to signal to the community why you're changing. Because a lot of times we assume that everybody knows why Dan Lebertard went from ESPN to his own media company. You've got to go out and signal to the community.

This is why we're changing and why. So that way, they don't make up their own mind of, or assume that something bad happened perhaps, and we kind of walk you through all those processes. You mentioned financial literacy as an observer of you from afar, I have not asked you this, but I have always thought that you were somebody that because you were so great at baseball and were not able to go to college college that you had a little bit of,

I don't know if I, I'm imposter syndrome is too strong, but an insecurity about, I want to put my name on the University of Miami and I want to donate big because I want people to know that I'm educated, that I'm not someone to be trifled with just because I had to go work on baseball and couldn't work on my studies. How much of that is there? I think a lot. I think I think if posthumous was not too strong then, I think the two institutions that

made an enormous impact in my life were the University of Miami and the Boys and Girls Club and I said I'm both boards at the national level. And part of why I wanted to give, not only, you know, a lot of people are gonna write a check, but you know, the thousands of hours that I've put to give back to the Boys and Girls Club, including a board meeting for a couple of hours this week. They raised you, right?

The boys and girls, they saved you. What, what, one could say, I'm, oh, save might be too strong because you had love at home, but you found family there. Yeah, but at home, everybody was busy working, trying to pay the rent. The rent, when we got here, was $550. Our landlord was called Arbedo, a Cuban man, a very, very nice man. It was a four-bedroom.

He lived in one and we lived in the other three rooms. So a lot of my grit, my determination, my motivation comes from I remember how it feels to not have the 550 to pay that rent every 30th day, the first of the month. So I think a lot of it came from that. Did you know when you were growing up exactly what you wanted because when I talk about the thicket that is getting closer to you, when you were younger and I talk about the thicket that is getting closer to you, when you were younger, and I don't know how much this has changed over the years, but when you were younger, I feel like even when you're winning MVPs younger, that you were searching for how it is to behave as a professional icon so that people would like you that you would ask Michael Jordan a bunch of

questions about how do I do this and he would tell you you know touchwriters on the knee call them by their name like yeah you you asked a ton of questions of people because you wanted to be perceived a certain way I thought you were trying to find your voice and sometimes that got you called a phone or whatever because people thought you were insincere because you were trying to hard to be like. I think it's all accurate you know then I think therapy has completely changed my life and I've been in therapy for 12 years now. I know you had an awful death in your family which condolences to you and your entire family. I don't can't even imagine how that feels. I don't know. You've been dealing with a lot.

I lost my therapist a couple years ago and he died out of nowhere. He had a heart attack and that was an enormous blow to me because he's been such a source for me. You know, then what happened was a lot of people forget you don't of course because you were there, but I was one of three people in the history of the game to be in the big leagues at the age of 18. Myself, Tonda Roussen, one other that I can't recall his name right now. And I was 80 years old, I looked like I was 28, but I had the emotion of maturity of a 12-year-old. A boy. And while all I did was my 10,000 hours, like the outlier, in baseball. I fell behind emotionally. I fell behind with my education.

And remember, I have this big vacancy because pops left the age of 10. And it wasn't to some of my trials and tribulations I got older and dealing with Dr. David with some of these issues unpacking what happened when I was 10, 11, 12 years old, and rewiring my brain that I did not need to search anymore.

The big aha moment was, you know, what God made in me was enough whether you like it or not. And Dan, what I was doing, and you probably remember this because you knew me personally, and then you saw what I projected and there was a delta there that was pretty big. And today, what you see here, or computers having the conversation to say, like, I'm not changing, right? And that came through years and years of therapy. I don't know that there is, I do therapy as well. I've done a ton of it. I've had a lot of breed recent breakthroughs just because the pain has caused a great deal of growth because sometimes

you don't learn things until you're hurting. I don't know what led you to therapy, but I would imagine you being wanting to be liked a whole lot and then having everything fall apart in front of people. I would imagine that didn't help. Like everything that was happening to you publicly with steroids, but if I could have one thing that I'm always searching for in therapy, that I know will make me happier, but I always struggle with is how I can be lighter on myself, how I could be more forgiving with myself. I struggle with that because I had a father who didn't do pleasure, and I was always trying to please him, and a little boy in me also didn't grow up very much because he was just trying to please a man who didn't do pleasure and then I was never good enough. I just in my own head, I'm never good enough.

Makes total sense. What were your breakthroughs that aren't too personal? Like some of the things I don't know what led you there, I was presumptuous. You know, when I got suspended in the year, I sat out the entire 2014 season and about 15 of us got suspended. I was hoping that we all got the same suspension for around 50 games or so. And I ended up getting 162 an entire season. And while I was really, really, really bummed at that time, it was a blessing to the skies because the first time since I was 15 years old when I walked into Westminster Christian as a rising sophomore. Or Rich Hoffman looked at me and said, you know, you're going to have

a good year this year as a sophomore. Then you're going to go play in the junior Olympic teams as a rising junior. And you're going to be the number one junior in the country. And then the next year, you're going to be the number one pick as a senior. And then I literally looked that as a pool was in my left and the baseball field was in front of me and Westminster Christian campus, I looked behind me and I go, Coach Hoffman, are you talking to me? I just got cut from Columbus, they didn't want me to play baseball,

they wanted me to play basketball. And this is the number one school in my amy. Like, this is a powerhouse of all powerhouses. If he's telling you this, this is the amateur coach in our region who you'd most want to hear. This is Duke basketball and this coach K talking to me of your playing basketball, right? And it meant so much to me. And again, that was five years after dad left me the age of 10. And I'm saying, okay, if coach Hoffman believes in me, kind of like your teacher told you that you are a great writer in high school, I said, okay, those words sound good to me. I'm going to do everything in my power from now on

to make sure that you're right. And that was one of the biggest breakthrough. And then the entire year going back to the suspension of 2014, I had the entire year to actually turn the lens inward and start doing some work on me and what happened to me. And what was that like? Because you do have it there, okay. turn the lens inward and start doing some work on me and what happened to me. And what was that like? Because you do have it that okay. Oh boy. Yeah, this was hard. This is where the good stuff is though. You're telling me you don't regret it. And I get that like I, I will. I, I, this is the worst pain I've known what I'm presently in, but I know and I felt it more and more

recently. And I've never understood it until feeling it, that there is absolutely growth on the other side of pain, but most people don't choose fear and pain, and you didn't choose it. It happened. Like, you chose the part that got you in trouble, but you didn't want it ever seen. And now, the specifics, Alex, because this, this I felt for you here, and someone who cares this much about how he's perceived, always looks great, smells great, gives off great. Now, publicly, it unravels, and now you're left with the shame of that. So how long were you in this space and how long was it before you arrived at something

that felt like I'm grateful for that? Yeah, it took a couple years of intense hard work. I would go to Evergreen, Colorado with Dr. David Lid. And you would arrive on Sunday afternoon and Monday at 9 a.m. you're going and there goes Monday through Thursday, 9 to 5 p.m. No lunch break, hardly a bathroom break. And it's just hardcore intense working

where the scar tissue was incredible. The pain was torturous, but I started getting back to a point where I started to forgive some of my actions and started liking the person in the mirror. And Dr. David said something to me in the early days where I mean, we would look at each other sometimes to end for three hours and I say a word to each other. It was like,

can we curse on this thing? I would say like, in my side, I wanna say him, but I'm like, you know, fuck off. Why are you? Why do you want to know so much, right? And why are you being so tough and it honestly in one way, Dan, when I look at my career, my mistakes probably is gonna cause me the Hall of Fame. But in the other side of that, I'm a much happier human being. I am a better father, I'm a better partner,

I'm a better son and brother, and hopefully someone that can open doors for people with black and brown skin like myself. And I said on many boards where I'm the only person of color in Latin. And it's my job to leave that door open and let others in and create opportunities for others. Why did you do that kind of therapy that intensely? Like was somebody worried about you?

Were you going a little bit crazy? Was it like Alex, you need to go, this doesn't have to be like not once a week, you need to go immerse yourself and you need to be introspective, you haven't been introspective enough. Yeah, I just knew that the mistakes I was making, I was imploding for no reason. Like I had hundreds of millions of dollars guaranteed to me. I didn't need to make a mistake. In my career, I probably averaged north of 40 home runs, north of 120 RBI's over 23 years.

And the fence that I served an entire season, I didn't hit 45 home runs or drove in, driving 125 runs. I hit six home runs and I drove in like 14 runs. So it was a horrific mistake with no reason to do it. And that's why I said, okay, you know what? Not only am I destroying my baseball career and any legacy that's left of it, I'm gonna screw up my life and I have two young daughters. So it sucks that I have to ruin this legacy,

but I'm certainly not going to ruin my life and the ability to be a father to two young daughters that need me. And I certainly don't want to be Victor Rodriguez that walked out of ten and was not a factor in my life. I needed to save this part of my world. You know that you're happy now because you like yourself more. How much self-loving have you done where you don't like yourself and some of the damage you may have done in relationships because you don't know yourself well enough and because you don't know why you're doing certain things that you do? Yeah, I think you come to a place and that you look back at the mistakes and the things you did in your 20s and early 30s and you cringe. You're like, what the fuck am I doing? What is this?

And you know, you go through so much temptation, the lalyx. How's a boy going to get all the things that you got and not fall into all manner of holes if you're arriving at the major leagues as a boy. Yeah, yeah, I mean I think part of the therapy was kind of unpacking all of that and and searching and then you come to a conclusion is like I'm trying to be something that I'm not and people don't like me anyways. I might as well be exactly who I am and people are not gonna like you anyways. So it's one of those things that you get with age and you do get some wisdom and then I think about my grandma who has passed now over 15, 20 years ago and all the little things she told me, you know what she's undefeated, she's never been wrong. All these things, like little things, like wisdoms. Yeah, like if it hasn't happened by midnight, it's probably not going to happen,

get your butt home. All these little things, it's just wisdom is incredible. What have you learned about love in all of its forms with your family, with your children, with relationships, friendships. I think love is so important and love is patience is key. There's no form of love and we were talking about love and grief and missing that can compare to the love that I feel for my daughters. Now I understand why my mother feels the way she does about me and my two siblings. But I think the biggest thing, Dan, when I wake up in the morning, now I have two prayers. One is to make the ego smaller and to enhance self-awareness. And those are the two things, if we really done some learning, dude, that got me in a lot of trouble, right?

My ego was a bit out of control. I sometimes very out of control. And then my self-awareness was like at zero. But you need it, ego too. Like you need it. You're in a competitive world. Like your ego gets fat, it gets rewarded. Like ego brought you great things,

but not happiness. Right, right. And you look, I mean, pre and post suspension when I think about happiness, they're completely different. And then you know, it was never like a mistreated people. It was never, I wasn't like driving around in Ferrari then trying to be that guy, but it's just subtle things

that the ego gets a little bit out of control. And before my suspension, I looked at winning as big contracts, maybe we have a nice car, home runs, winning championships. That was, and when I think about how winning looks post my suspension is being a present father is being a good partner is creating Opportunities is paying it forward to the University of Miami and the Boys and Girls Club But never did I think that at the age of 48

I'll be mentoring over 50 athletes and today then we can all get to each other so quickly, whether it's through Twitter or Instagram or LinkedIn or someone that you have in common, they'll email you. And what I'm so proud of is that there's men and women out there that are doing great things that have a confidence to reach out to me for help. Just like I reached out to Magic Johnson. If it wasn't for Magic Johnson and the meeting that I had with him 25 years ago, where he laid out his plan, we met for over three hours, business, nine pages of notes, business, how he transferred and pivoted the strategic pivot from his

Laker days with Pat Riley and Showtime to the boardroom. And if it wasn't for him, showing me and the proximity in magic, here's a man of color who had a Hall of Fame basketball career who's now a Hall of Fame business person. I said, boy, if magic can do it, why can I? Is there anything in there when you say I went now looking back or I cringed looking back? What is there anything that flashes on you? Where like, why was I such a fool?

Like, what was the matter with me? What anything in particular that you're thinking of there? Yeah, anything to do with that whole biogenesis mess. I remember us talking and I'm like, how the fuck did I end up in this mess? I have no one to blame by myself, but those are the subtle things that you just kind of slip a little bit and once you slip a little bit, there's no coming back. I mean, that was the most painful time of my life, humiliation, embarrassment, letting people down, starting with my mother, my daughters, my brother, my sister, and I'm like, what am I doing? And you have to surround yourself with great people.

And you are an average of the five people you surround yourself with. So, I think about my life today, I mean, my circle was so tight and you just can't get in it. And when you see the great ones, the Pat Riles, you know, the Jordans, John Woodens coach, K whoever, they have a very, very tight circle. Who helped you the most when you were in the most pain? Dr. David. how about loved ones? My daughter's, I would say, Cynthia, who was the mother of my kids. We were together for 13 years. I was married to her for five. Cynthia's, has

a background in psychology. How's her master's in it? And she's been, she's still my greatest friend and biggest supporter and I am hers and I always thought you guys had I you had a super supportive relationship in and out of like the yeah, like I can't even imagine the stress test then that Whole experience was for her who as she knew you when she knew like she knew you before all the childhood like she she She knew you before all the childhood. Like, she, she, in fact, as I recall, and forgive me if I'm overstepping here, because I don't know what the relationship was, but I do feel like she was taking care of you

in a lot of ways, like just that you were not yet grown up. You had to concentrate on being great, and she was just, from afar, super supportive of what it is you were building. It was funny, because we were together in our early 20s and I just looking back at now, we're way better friends than we were a married couple. And I want to say it was anything like really bad that happened. And we were better friends and we made a decision to be co-parent and good friends and given

opportunity for us to meet somebody else and now she's been an incredible guy. Angel also Dominican, they have a young daughter, Camus seven. And we're all like at the Brady bunch, we travel together, we spend holidays together and it's just a beautiful thing. And I wish other broken couples that are co-parent

can have this type of cohesiveness, right? And then when I look at my life, it's just, it's like an oxymoron, right? There's so many things that I've done orally. And then there's other things that I look at, you know, with my relationship with the community, giving back to the Boys and Girls Club, University of Miami, I've been on that board when Donna Shaleta put me there almost 20 years ago And the father I am today It's just weird and this strange is a lot of time pack. You also don't want to be the dead yet, right? No, that was my number one motivation Sometimes the best examples is

Seeing someone that you want to do exactly opposite of what he's done. Because of the damage you know was done there, like what do you think of when you think of I don't want to be those things? Be something beyond being present or not getting into 24 beers and two packs of cigarettes a day, like what are the things that your proudest of making sure I am not going to be that because that left scars on me I would not want to leave on anybody. Yeah, there was, there was some I was, there was a few things that my dad did well that I learned from. I mean, we do have commonalities around baseball and business.

He was really good with numbers. He always wore a student tie to so shoes. I see myself with some of the characteristics that I admired about him. But I'm now convinced at the age of 48, father of two daughters, one who's a freshman in the musical theater program at the University of Michigan who's thrilled to be there,

and my sophomore Ella who's a gulliver, right? And I'm not sure Dan, and I wonder, I'm gonna present the question back to you, is I am now convinced that it is almost impossible to maximize your potential as a human being without a present father and without intense therapy. Because I was lost without one, and I kind of found my way with Dr. David. What are your thoughts, sir? I mean, that's super interesting, right? I turned my bosses into, uh, into father figures, trying to get the,

how do I please this person? Like I wouldn't say it's part of why it is that I became successful because I'm trying to reach a bar There was never going to be reached with my father in a way that was going to feel like a pleasure to me And so I would try to try to please bosses. I But my father was Su-Mam-Inthic present, but my mother was Sort of propping up my father My father went to work and came home

and she propped up the idea of we have this figure in our house who is the one to be followed because that's pretty Latin. It's pretty stereotypically Latin. And she helped create for me something to try and please but what led me to therapy. Like this one was a bit of a mind bleep. My father over the years has had a couple of just a couple of things that have happened, one of which, many years ago, this is the first time I ended up in therapy. My father had a breakdown,

and when he was on a cruise, I'll tell you when he had the breakdown. So he has the breakdown. He loses his job at 57. He's been in his past. He was rejected by his own mother. The losing of the job comes in at 57. Work is all that matters in our lives,

comes in one day, and all of the stuff that was on his desk is in a garbage can you done. Whatever your identity, is or was out of here, he has a breakdown. We're going to visit him at a place where there are, you know, human beings, clucking like chickens and stuff. And as we get there, my mother passes out in his arms. And at the right then, me as a Hispanic, I'm going to say, boy, but I was early 30s, but I'm not grown up yet. I'm like, oh, I got to, like, this is, I got to go, I got to go look at some things, like I haven't grown up. And so, both of those things were helpful to me, but I didn't get to those places, I had to do

all sorts of things before I got there. it and I had to be pushed into it like I don't know if I would have ever chosen therapy on my own if I was just sort of skipping through life blissfully ignorant I don't know if you would have chosen it if you'd simply kept hitting home runs and there was no shame and and you might not have ever gotten to happier you might have gotten to the Hall of Fame with nobody knowing anything about anything, but the learning would have been lost in it because I don't know that you would have, I don't know how many people choose betterment just for the hell of it when they've already arrived at what they think success looks like. No, that's a good, I mean, that's why when I made my book, it was good as the enemy of great, right? As um, from good to great. And the first line in the book is good, is that a me of great. And I do believe that. And I think the irony about therapy is that when you have an inflated ego and you have a very little

self-awareness, you have what is called the blind spot. And the blind spot does not allow you to think that you actually need help. Because the ego is just like the sun bright, too bright on you. And when you don't have self-awareness, you have very little vision, this peripheral that can help you. So that's why you need really, really great people around you to self-pay, buddy. You know what?

You do need help. And when I think about as a kid, I believe that you're a byproduct of some of the things that you have and you're a byproduct of some of the things you lack. As an example, my dad left at the age of 10, therefore whatever reason, I gravitated to powerful men that were older. And from age 10 to 25, I had three coaches, which is crazy. I had Gaiyo, Eddie Rodriguez, the boys and girls club. He's been there now for over 40 years. And all the players, tardable, they all went through their Palmero, Konseko.

Then he handed me over at 15 to Coach Hoffman. And then Coach Hoffman handed me to Lupinella to the age of 25 until I left for Texas. And then in the business community, I've had mentors like Madagg Johnson and Pat Riley and Warren Buffett. But that's always been a common theme for me to have this kind of really good people to help me, you know, educate. If I were to ask you when and how do the girls, your daughters, move you the most? Like what are the instances in which Arod will be made a blubbering mess because he's just filled with love and gratitude because that's because his daughters give him the greatest

feelings known to man that are the closest thing to God. Someone can feel on earth if one doesn't believe in God. Well, I think I do believe in God. And even though I'm never religious, I'm spiritual. And I, you know, I just keep that private with my own, you know, involvement. I think my, my daughters just, you know, I think just when I see them, even though they grew up much differently that I grew up obviously, with a lot of blessings that they are both their feet are grounded, that, you know, we've done this thing that we started in COVID called our breakfast club on Sundays, which is from 8.30 to 10, 90 minutes, no phones, no iPads, just old school conversation, same

thing at dinner every night, one conversation, and practicing listening, empathy, compassion, listening more than you talk. And then I've always said anything that they accomplish, not so much on, but just the way you treat people and the way they comport themselves. I mean, that to me, that's when I, I'll for sure, I'm the proudest. And yeah, I can't even think about it. I mean, my daughter just graduated from ran some last year and it was a hot mess and then I dropped her off then in an arbor and I'm dropping her off in her dorm room.

Now remember, I never went to college and I'm helping her unpack and have insecurities about never yet going to college. Yeah, the daughter you raised, yeah, the daughter fucked up Alex Ray. Yeah. Is now walking into Ann Arbor, one of the greatest colleges and institutions here, the musical theater program. And then I've never done laundry in my life. I'm in the dorm room folding things putting it in the washing machine which I'm ashamed to say have never done that or dryer and it was so much fun I posted it on on Instagram and had a lot of fun with it and and Then I have Ella which makes me think boy I only have three years before she goes out into the world and boy only have three years before she goes out into the world and he sure already thinks that is very very uncle and not funny when they use the thing

that was funny and all my jokes with land they don't even look up at me anymore. What was it like I had this conversation with Marcellus Wiley recently about how he looked into the eyes of his children and he thought he could be better for them and you mentioned something about whatever the shame felt like around your family. What was happening there with them that daddy's fallen apart, daddy feels terrible because he's brought shame upon, he's brought shame. Yeah, I mean, one of the days that it really hit me, Dan, is um, we were at the time living in Miami Beach in the Gorsh Island, um,

and the suspension, um, just went public like five dollars or something. Five dollars fine. That's four? That's ten dollars. That's coughing in the microphone. We have a, oh yeah, we have the fines and, I don't know, I don't know if you still carry cash and honor everything's caught.

I don't, but I'm used to fine, so I can pay it. I can pay it. So, a couple days before, they had just announced my suspension for 100 or 60s to games. And it was myself, my two daughters, and Denise, who's helped me me, help me raise my daughters and Cynthia, as our nanny for 15 years. She's an incredible woman. She's part of our family from Jamaica. Denton, we call her. And I remember waking up before them. I was having a little

coffee, and I usually have the New York Times, the Harold post, Washington, all the papers set up at my breakfast table and then TV I usually watch CNBC and all of a sudden I look at all the put these things away throw them away before the girls get up And then I said, let's just put on the TV. C and B.C. was talking about it I said change that put on at the time was Matt Lauer and it was Charlie Rose and it was all these guys are not on TV anymore And they're talking about it. So we'll turn that off too So they would go wake them up and I was like, holy smokes had to turn off the TV put all the papers away and then I realized that I needed to be forthright with them, appropriate for their age, obviously. And I remember sitting down in my office and, you know, coming clean

and just saying, Dady made a mistake. And we make mistakes, there's consequences. And I'm serving the longest suspension in major league baseball history for PEDUs. And Cynthia was with me. And I said, Cynthia, I'm gonna probably break down someone there, third, any of this conversation. Do you mind if I hand it over to you, and then I'll close? And that was gonna be Mariana, right? The start and the closer. I needed the middle any right right and sure enough in the bottom of the first Then I start breaking down Cynthia takes over and I said yeah, they're gonna be

Listening to me, but they're gonna be looking at you and we need to be aligned here because I need your help and you just support here And the reason why I thought Dan that was so important, and this came from Dr. David, he said, you've been bullshit your whole life, and you have to stop that cycle. You have to be forthright with your daughters. And that's really important. And I think if you do that right today, as a result later on,

when it's time for them to be honest with you, hopefully they can reciprocate. And it was a tough moment, and I'm so happy that I did it. Bullshit, did your entire life how? Bullshit in yourself? No, I just surrounded my in a house where nobody told me the truth, right? Part of it was because they probably didn't want to put the weight on me that we didn't have the rent money that was doing three days or that my father wasn't the hero that I thought he was or my brother and sister probably faking it till they made it.

And it was a short term fix, but I don't think it's sustainable for the health, the mental health, the development of a young person. And in this case, my two daughters, I thought to dochiddavids help that I've been extremely honest with them, even through the toughest moments in the darkest hours. with them even through the toughest moments in the darkest hours. I will move on to other subject matter, but is there a feeling that you think of that represents rock bottom more than that one? Because you painted a pretty vivid picture of sort of running around your hours trying to try to hide things from your children.

Is there anything that you look at in there and that compares to that. And the reason I ask you the question about what rock bottom looks like is because I want to also talk about what the ascent looks like and the other things learned in there. Because if the gift is that you're happier and you love yourself more and yourself confident, then you'd almost go back and choose it if you can do it in some ways. Like, if you're grateful for it, you know what I mean? Like that, if there's no other way to learn some of the things that needed to be learned other than suffering the maximum pain, they're worth learning. Yeah, and we're, I don't think Dan, I would draw it up this way. And it's been, it's been nine almost 10 years

as my suspension, but I think a decade removed from that. And all the work that I did a little before that. And to this day with my therapy, I think I've done a pretty decent job of learning some very painful lessons and then applying them over the last 10 years. And I'm very, very proud of that. I'm also proud of how I fathered my girls. My relationship with Cynthia. I have an incredible partner in my life who's been dating for over a year now. Her name is Jack.

She's a former nurse and is now in the world of health and wellness. She has two daughters. You know, we have over 500 people that work at A. Radcorp on a professional NBA team. I mean, I'm living the American dream day and I come from the very bottom and is just remarkable. And I really think that none of this happens without me falling on my face

and having those dark days. To hell of a strategic pivot though, because there aren't a lot of stories in the history of American media or athletics where you can, I go from famous to infamous to then you're still employable and you're still someone that people want to be associated with that the pariah stuff is temporary that it that fades. Well I think of the lesson for hopefully a lot of

people that are listening right that you don't have to be defined by your biggest mistakes I mean how you come back matters too. And I would actually say how you come back is most important and not to give up. I mean, you're talking about a guy that we talked about the resiliency of a guy like Pat Riley. I'm a pretty resilient guy too and pretty gritty, but I gotta tell you, in my darkest hour, there were many times that I thought about tapping out.

Oh, really? And giving up. And giving up. And I never thought that the word give up would be anywhere near synonymous with me. But it was dark and I was ashamed and I felt that the only thing that mattered in my life growing up was to be a major league baseball player and be part of this incredible institution. And to think I was pariah 101 to the league was it was heartbreaking and I was confused and high got myself there. But what was most important is that I took full accountability and have no one to blame by myself. What do you regard in your baseball career as the happiest time?

The best year, the best six months, the time that you were, because it doesn't sound like any one of those years might be as happy as your best year now if you're sort of slogging through it, trying to figure out what happy looks like. Yeah. I think, I would say too, I would say when I got the call from Georgetown Brenner, that he wanted me to join his Yankee team and to come team up with Derek Geter and agreeing very quickly that I will move

in the prime of my career as the better shortstop. Why, I just want to say. I'm saying that for you. You don't have to say, but career as the better shortstop. Why I just one thing I'm saying that for you, you don't have to say, but you were the you were the better shortstop at, you know, by the metrics and you move to third base, you went to third base because he's the captain and it was his team. Well, I think Derek would be the first one to tell you that he came to Texas. He would have moved to third and, you know is something that I believe in. I gave him my word that I was going to play third base and third base only. And I just said made it

very clear. I said if there's ever a conversation about me going back to shortstop, I'm going to go back to Texas because I wanted to honor a Derek and I didn't want any drama around the position. And I went over and worked really hard at their base and became a suitable third basement. So I think George calling me over Steinbrunner. And then obviously 2009, bringing the World Championship back to New York for the 27th World Championship and one of the most franchise after struggling in post season, and pressurized post seasons. Like after, after year after year you're one of the best players in baseball and now people are you know accusing you of mental frailty because baseball is hard and sometimes people hit 200 in a 14 game sample. Dan, I don't see

it that way. And again, this is where I think I'm having some space from that time. The truth is when you're one of the best hitters in a lineup, you get circled. And they come at you with everything they have. And sometimes the best thing you can do in the world series, I think Gary Schaeffield did a nice job of this is, and Barry bonds the two, you got to just take your walks. And once I realized that it wasn't about me and it was about we, and it wasn't about what my stats were, but I would literally drive To every playoff game with Andy Pettit because he was my neighbor and Westchester and He would help me out and he was this time a four time war champion and he pitched game six

Which was a game six that we won he pitched great game and handed the bottom of Rihanna against the Phillies and great game and handy the bottom of the arena against the Phillies and Victorino made the last out. Grand Bata cano to take sure on the Yankees, a world champ for the 27th time as Joe Bucks said. It was incredible because it was, it was like a master class from one of the greatest champions that I've ever met in Andy Pettit where he would talk to me about hitting pitch selection, what the opposition was thinking as they were facing me, and then I would reverse it and he would ask me, okay, what do I have to do to beat the angels, to beat the twins, and

ultimately to beat the Phillies? And then it was some of the most enjoyable hour conversations driving to the ballpark, no phones, just old school conversations. And he really helped me become a champion. What do you regard as the most honest, accurate, appraisal that you can make of the relationship with Derek Geter?

It's a long time, it's complicated. I don't know what can be known or what can't be known, but when I ask you honest and accurate that can be said publicly, what happened there? Well, I would just say that right now, we're in a great place. He asked me to go to dinner about a year ago, almost today, when his documentary came out

and we went to have drinks right near our home in South Miami and we sat down for a couple of hours and had some drinks and you know, talked about a lot of great things, but our history is rich and is goes back a long time We met when I was 16 and he was 17. We met a Mark light stadium And he had signed with the University of Michigan. I had signed with the University of Miami So we had a lot of commonalities That's where his agent Casey close who still is agent was trying to talk to me before I chose God

Boris. And in that 30 plus year history, we've had some ups and we've had some downs and I think the media was obsessed with our relationship in New York. It was a very meaty story and negativity sells. negativity cells and big names cell and the Yankees cell and the controversial on the position cells. So it was a mega media story and he did a nice job of being super disciplined. I wasn't as disciplined and it created some noise, but through it all, what I remember is great player. He was a good teammate. We want to championship together. And now we're teammates again at Fox doing playoffs and World Series every year. Were you at all surprised that that phone call came that he wanted to just have dinner and drinks? Is it something that's unusual, or is it because,

this plays out publicly, there's a lot of, there's so much vanity, there's so much insecurity, I don't even know if you're a documentary, or well, if he's got a documentary, I gotta have a documentary, because I had a pretty good career too. I don't know how much competition there is between you and I don't know what your issues are with the media. Like what the issues I'm curious, what you think

is the worst thing about sports media because we can be parasitical. Yeah, so I mean, I think his documentary was fun. It was good to watch, but in many ways up up and to the right, I mean, there was a lot of celebration. Mine is going to be a lot of volatility, right? So completely different. More interesting. Why not? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, volatility for sure.

I'm saying more interesting. If negativity sells, I'm gonna say, yeah, if volatility is better than just up and to the right all the time. Well, yeah. So, yeah, and I think, look, it's interesting, when I was at my first couple of years of Fox, you know, then I got a much better understanding

how the media works, and in 15 and 16, I was still playing while I was with Fox. And I said, holy smokes, I wish, and this is an advice that I would give to all athletes that are listening, especially the young ones. I wish I would have done a media internship with Fox for a couple of years when I was in high school to then reverse a junior and understand how the media works. I played because I was very I was an infant when it came dealing with the media. I just came out of West

Missed Christian a few months later after my high school prom I was a Fenway Park as an 18-year-old when I should have been a freshman of the University of Miami playing quarterback and Shorstop, I was facing Roger Clements completely over my skis My knees were shaken It was the first time I saw an upper deck We had 400 people Westminster max, right? So it was a lot of growth. It was like turbocharged and I just was not ready for that. I don't know if any 80 year old could be ready for that.

Maybe LeBron, I mean, he did a great job. Kobe, these are guys that I'm present with. Tiger Woods came out early, but I think all of us that came out early, there is one common theme. We had some ups and we had some downs. What came with money that you weren't expecting? Freedom. Eyeballs, jealousy, anxiety. Well, yeah, why anxiety? Why anxiety? Because again, you know, from the age of 10 to 17 when I became a millionaire and the Mariners made me the number one pick in the country and my mother and my sister Suzy negotiated a $1.35 million contract.

I didn't have lessons in life on how to distribute, how to help out my family, who gets what, what to save, what to spend, what to invest in. This is a new territory for me. I was training to be a baseball player and I was barely keeping up with that. And if you think about it, most people, if they're lucky enough to make a million dollars, by the most people, if they're lucky enough to make a million dollars, usually it happens with a college degree, after marriage, kids, maturity, and usually you're in the other side of 40. Here I am at 17 with, here's a million dollars, here's fame, here's expectations, and then you gotta go deal with it. Gellissie, what did that bring? What does that look like?

Like, what is happening that is making you feel that Gellissie goes before anxiety on something that money brought? I just think, you know, the higher you go on the flag, pull the more people are taking a look at your back end, right? And there's more chatter, there's more conversation you have to be You know careful spend you know a little bit more low key Things that you don't really you're not prep for it and when you're I mean you saw it I mean you came to be a star very early on and You have a much different perspective today than when you were in your oh, I didn't know anything No, I didn't know I didn't know anything

We're going and learning at the same time right and we're trying to the best we can and generally we're good people But and what you're doing though requires your obsessive compulsive Attention a way that sort of so lopsided yeah that other parts of you atrophy I don't even know how functioning and balance the human being you can be, and graded sports the way that it took as much work as it did to be as great as you were at that sport. I mean, the obsession has to be like, off the charts.

And usually when you look at the great ones that have done great things, you have to be obsessive. You know, you have to work on it 24-7. You're thinking about it. It affects your sleep. You got to wake up and work out. You got to keep producing. It's just this whole thing about work balance. I've never seen one at the highest level. Be really good at that too. Maybe that comes later on in life, but I remember my conversation with Kobe, conversation with Tiger, Jordan, magic, LeBron, we've all had this drive that in many ways is probably

not the healthiest approach. Warren Buffett too, or does he have something, I mean, he's older, so does he have something that more resembles balance? Has he arrived at something that's different than that? Warren Buffett is the most obsessive and most focused, smartest and simple thinker that I've ever met. He's a perfect example with Warren Buffett. He's a perfect example of, you know, the most obsessive, relentless, focused, unwavering conviction to what he wanted to do. His father would drop him off when he lived in Omaha as a young child.

By the age of 11, he would drop him off every Saturday and Sunday in the library. He would spend all day there. And Warren read every financial book in the library by the age of 11. Made his first investment around the age of 12. And has been obsessed ever since. And you do this. And Warren does this. I believe he's the greatest, smartest financial mind alive. He's in his 90s. He still goes to work five days a week. He said, my only adjustment I used to read nine hours a day, now I'm able to read three or four hours. And now he studies a lot in YouTube.

But he's kept it simple and he's kept it simple. And that's exactly what Jordan and others have done in their space. I'm going to let you go in a moment here. I have a gift for you. I have had metal-arc media spare no expense in this gift that I'm going to give you. But I know because it's important to you to pass along your wisdoms, I asked you if there was anything that you wanted to make sure that people knew about and that you were promoting.

And I was surprised to hear that gum disease. I didn't, I thought that there, I thought a four, 500 employees at A rod and core, I thought it would be something else, but you wanted to talk about gum disease because you want people to know something perhaps that you didn't know that you now know. Yeah, this is kind of crazy. I mean, first of all, I'm so proud to partner up with Aura Farma. We've been partners now for over a year. And one of my visits to the dentist,

I found out I had gum disease. And of course, the first thing you think is like, oh my god, gum disease sounds terrible. And the good news I caught it early, and it's, you know, treatable. And then I started digging in and finding out that over 65 million Americans have gum disease. And then I realized that is even more prevalent in our communities, black and brown communities.

Where are you advising people to go beyond their local dentist to get help here and information? Well, you can go to arrestin.com for more information. AR-E-S-T-I-N, correct. .com, and go see your local doctor. You have perfect tea. You have, I mean, your smile. You're, say, you get away with a lot on television because you have that smile and it's pearly and everybody loves looking at a

run. Let me not waste any more of your time here. I do appreciate as always that you made the time. I have not seen this gift. So I'm gonna now know it is for the first time. Let's see what they've gotten us here. Come on man. This doesn't look anything like him. This doesn't look anything like him. Here you go. This is my gosh. This is the, this is ridiculous. I mean, first of all, I wish I had that body.

And second, I wish I was so handsome, that looks nothing like in a face. It could not, it could not look. It less like you, but it is rumored and reported that you had one of these like, by the way, so on, let me see that. This is, this is actually really funny because you don't know how many times in my career, I had to answer that I had something like this above my bed. And it's so infamous a story.

And I almost don't deny it anymore, but I think it's actually kind of fun. You can now have it. Oh, yeah. You can now have it over your bed. Now I can make it a reality. Alex, it really has been a joy to watch your growth almost as much as it has been to watch your play. It's very cool to see you feeling this confident. This is confident for real. I don't want to ask you whether you care what others think anymore, but it seems like you're carrying a hell of a lot less what others think. No, thank you. I mean, I think even more

important than confidence, I think I'm in a happy place and I'm content with my life is and really excited to continue to to give back and continue to to help people in need. That's really one of my greatest passions and continue to talk about financial literacy across especially our community and minority communities that need a lot of help. Thank you, budding. Thank you, proud of you as well.