The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - South Beach Sessions - Boog Sciambi

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

He’s the voice of the Cubs and Sunday Night Baseball… his dulcet tones have been gracing the airwaves for decades… and they’re gracing your ears today, Boog Sciambi is on the show! Dan and Boog get deep about their friendship, what it was like to come up together, and share memories of Dan’s late brother David (and of Papi). They also explore the struggle of achieving excellence and accepting your own power as well as the traps of negative self-talk… and how to escape those cycles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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SAB, the CV. Copyright 2024. Proximo. Jersey City, New Jersey. Please drink responsibly. Hello and welcome again to South Beach Sessions. I've got a lot of notes. I don't need any of them for this man. This man is my best friend in the world.

He knows me like very few people know me. One of the things we're going to try and do around here is let you see more of my relationships with people who really know me and know me in the most intimate of ways. So I will tell Bhug Shambhi in front of everybody, I've told him all of this privately, I love you, I respect and admire you profoundly, and I am wildly proud of you because you have done with your life what you set out to achieve 30 years ago when you were more anxious about these things. So Boogshambee is with us.

He's the voice of the Cubs and Sunday Night Baseball. Thank you for being with us. Love you too, pal. It's great to see you. It's funny. I was just talking about you with some people and I think one of the first things that popped into my head that I said out loud Is just I miss you. So I wish I wish I got a chance to see a little bit more

It's good to have you right in front of me. Likewise. I miss you as well You have chased your dreams and you have arrived at your dreams This I would imagine is the happiest you've ever been by leaps and bounds professionally. Yeah, it's peaceful. It's nice I think that the biggest part of it is there's not really any what's next. I like this. I like my day and what's in front of me and try to be present in the day.

But there's not that hamster wheel of what's next. What can I climb? What's the next thing that I can do? One of the many reasons I admire you though is Because of how much growing you have done in this realm of presence with life's Wisdoms through many challenges. Nobody has any earthly idea how hard you had it Because you make it look so easy Well, I appreciate that I think that there's a

blessing and a curse in that. I think that, I mean hell we'll just get right into it and just lay down on the couch. I think that I work very hard to let everybody think I have everything handled and then there are times when I can get pissed off that everybody thinks I have everything handled. But I would say, yeah, it's taken time and therapy and all that stuff where, and just trying to work on myself, trying to focus on what's my part in all of these things and just trying to enjoy the people around me and really move towards the things that bring me peace. Like not chasing happiness but peace because I think that if I

continue to go towards the things that make me peaceful I'll run into happiness. Your growth though has been because of a pursuit of self-improvement. I needed a partner to show me all the things that I didn't know about where my blind spots were and I couldn't have done it, I don't believe, self-motivated. I needed to love someone more than I love myself in order to love myself correctly. One of the many reasons that I'm proud of your growth is because you have been instigating it on your own. So, and it's funny because I envy the fact that you found a partner that is truly that.

And I think that that's probably the one thing. It's not, it's not a hole for me, but it's definitely of the things, if there is something that I would like, I would love to find someone. I think that that's probably the one component for me that's that's left and I don't know that I was ready in the way that I needed to be to be vulnerable while I was you know working on the things that I needed to to work on but yeah you know, I mean, there's a basic mental health

component to it. Definitely dealt with depression in high school, in college, and on and off as an adult. So it is something that I've fought through. But yeah, better every day. And again, like I said, I can sit here and and feel I'm just happy to be sitting across from you to be honest. Well you say high school though and you and I have had these kinds of conversations for a long time I think

the reason that I gravitated toward you is because you were one of the first men that I'd ever met who is very comfortable talking about his vulnerability and it goes I mean when you talk about depression, I think of some of the stuff deep in your earliest formative years, like when you were a kid and your parents were getting divorced. I don't know if you wanna go there with any of that. Yeah, for sure.

I mean, when I was a little kid and I, you know, I stopped talking for, I think six, eight months, my parents divorced right before I was four. I obviously figured it out. And look, it's just one of these things where as a little kid, unfortunately, you're not able to do the thing where you recognize that people are leaving and it has nothing to do with you. But it's one of those things that you carry with you.

And then, yeah, I think it was something that in our family ran through it. So I can just remember in college being sort of the peak of darkness. I was at a bar, and I wasn't drunk, but I was having a drink and I went outside. It was like, I was in a trance and I walked to a pay phone and I called my mom and I said, you have to give me some help.

And that was, uh, I don't know, my junior year of college. And that's, uh, that's what I did to, uh, you know, to, I mean, to stay afloat, to be honest. You were a catcher at that point. Yes. Or you had stopped your baseball aspiration. The baseball component had ended. I went to William & Mary for one year to play as a, you know, preferred walk-on that I transferred to Boston College in between. I had my rotator cuff operated on. I just,

you know, and then mentally I sort of was coming apart, but the world was not deprived of a really good baseball player, I will tell you know, and then mentally I sort of was coming apart, but the world was not deprived of a really good baseball player. I will tell you. I don't, I don't know this about you though. I don't know. That's the first time I'm hearing the story of calling your mom junior year. Like what was happening then? Yeah, it's just it was dark. It was moving. I just just had, I mean not playing was hard. So I left William and Mary. I went to BC when I went to BC, I got cut and that was hard. So it wasn't by my choosing.

Um, but I wasn't good enough. Like, did I deserve to get cut? Yeah, probably. Probably. I mean, I think that there are permutations where it could play out where I, I would have played for three years at BC, but, um, I just, I think that there are permutations where it could play out where I would have played for three years at BC. But I was just in a dark place. I think in some ways, what I would say

is I used baseball because I was good at it. It made me feel good about myself. And then the Band-Aid got taken away. And I didn't have any place. I was kind of one of the ways I wouldn't feel my feelings because I'd have success in sports and that was gone. So I think that that was one of the things that made it that made it challenging. When you say feel your feelings you know me well enough to know some of these things. I'm just realizing some of these stuff some of these things over the last five years. I'm someone who speaks my feelings more than feels my feelings.

Like I will articulate what it is that I'm feeling instead of feeling it. Amen. That is 100%. It's probably a reason that you and I connect. I absolutely echo that. I'm not good at sitting with my feelings. I'm really good at eating my feelings, but just sitting with them is hard, it's uncomfortable. It's still, it's a daily thing for me, but same, I'm able to, and again, thinking and talking about your feelings, that's not feeling your feelings. And it's a daily reminder.

Oh, but you've gotten some tools and this is one of the reasons that I admire your growth so much. I do some of the breath work, some of the meditation. I have found some healing after my brother's death sort of sitting in the grief. And it's been interesting. I don't know if the folks out here know this,

but you, me, and my brother lived together for a while in our 20s, and I regard it as like a super happy time. This always surprises me when it happens. The funny thing about this is the pain is always there. It's never not there, but it still surprises me when it sneaks up on me. But I regard it as an exceptionally happy time in our 20s when the world was sprawling out in front of us

and all three of us were chasing exactly what we wanted professionally. Yeah, and there was, I mean, look, you guys are brothers by blood, but there was a comfort level that was special. I think that one of the things that was really neat was how I was able to connect with Dave. And Dave could not care less about sports. And I know that over time, the people in your life that you would put in front of him,

it would be harder for him to connect with them. And he and I just kinda were able to hit it off. He was sort of oblivious to even the things that I did professionally and you did professionally. And we had this amazing connection. And so there was just, we had a very similar sense of humor and yeah, it was a cool time. It's super rare for my brother to have connected in those places because I was pretty lazy

about where my friendships were. They were the commonalities of work friends and we're all interested in the same things and my brother wasn't at all interested in those things. So many of my friends didn't become his friends because of that, but you did. Yeah, and again, you know, both of you shared in common. I mean, your brother definitely liked to play, but you both were down for, you know, deep conversations and sharing and just talking. And so, yeah, it was easy. It was very judgment-free is what I would say. Your excellence is easy to hear and see now, but I got to see and remember all of the conversations

about your levels of anxiety and needing to get to the ballpark six and seven hours earlier when I would be telling you buddy you got this you've got like a mastery of this game you've got a knowledge of this game that's super unusual and the craftsmanship of your position and that you were still always seeking with an anxiety you did conquer that somewhere along the line I don't know how you did or where you did, but you conquered it. So look, a couple of things. For as much as you were along with me for the ride,

there's a part of the play-by-play component that you can't totally understand. When you're on the radio and you're trying to execute this thing and describe what you see and paint this picture, I mean, it can be, in the early stages scary because it's a sport that's really slow, but it can get fast in a hurry.

So it didn't get to the best place until I was able to conquer feeling like, you know, someone could land a UFO on the field and I was gonna tell people what was happening and not miss a beat. And then all the other stuff would come out. But it just, look, it became a thing where it was about feeling prepared and the things that I would do to feel prepared as opposed to actually being prepared because I was

always prepared. But I still had the thing where the Marlins are playing the Pirates and Jason Bay is out with a hamstring injury. And I go upstairs and I am freaking out because I'm like, oh, is it his left hamstring or his right hamstring? And I needed somebody to come down and be like, it's Marlins radio. They don't give a fuck whether his hamstring

is right or left or even if it's his hamstring. Oh, but that's why your standard is what your standard is. Like I've told you before when you get frustrated by the amount of incompetence that surrounds our business, if everyone cared the way you did, then everyone would be you. You wouldn't get to be the special person because you care about being seven hours over prepared for something that you're clearly prepared for. Yeah, it's, I mean, it was also painful and I would say I've also let go of some of it. And I'm able to make mistakes and give myself grace and understand that I just am not capable of throwing a perfect game.

It's just too, I can't speak for three hours and just nail every single thing. It's just, it's really hard. Where and how did you get good or better at giving yourself grace? Hmm. Um. It's a hard one. It's hard to, I know, I know how hard you are on yourself.

I'm similarly hard on myself. It is the thing in therapy that I'm always trying to unlock. How can I be a little more gentle with myself? How can I remember in moments that I'm not being gentle with myself to be forgiving with myself? I mean, look, therapy is certainly part of it. I mean, there's plenty of reading that I've done. I've worked with a guy on and off as, you know, for about 10 years, um, you

know, who we work and do meditative stuff but also reflect on things along those lines but the hard part is You know when you talk about anger and resentment in today's world in my life The biggest factor for anger and resentment that I'm concerned with is that it makes me feel crappy and resentment that I'm concerned with is that it makes me feel crappy. So for as much as you sit there and talk about this person's doing this to me and making me feel that no I'm choosing to feel the way I'm choosing to feel and I don't want to feel bad. So the one issue that's really hard because of how hardwired I am is I want to own my part in the bad stuff that I'm doing but I am is I want to own my part in the bad stuff that I'm doing. But I am absolutely wired to think

it's always my fault. So it's, you know, so there's an element of it, you know, there's a joke they're talking about, you know, you're that I'm the piece of shit at the center of the universe, you know what I mean? Like, so there is, there is an aspect of it where I want to own my part, but I'm also wired to be like, oh, you own your part, it's all your fault. So you got to find that middle space. I will say this, there's another basic, and I'm curious where you are on this. Man, I can remember growing up and just resisting people who were older and you could tell they had a tone about being wiser.

And I'm older and I'm wiser, man. I just experience life, what matters, what doesn't matter. What are the things that really factor into my peace, my happiness? So you learn it's, I mean, age is part of the answer is just age is age and, and how my sort of brain works. And also I need to stop feeling bad, right? I need some tools to like, why am I going to keep choosing to feel bad when I've arrived at my professional dreams?

And I've made all of these choices that have resulted in things that should make me happy. No question. But it's also, you know, and then you also become aware of man. And this is for plenty of people. If you could rewind, you've probably hit the dot dot dot when I get there, this will make me happy 18 times in your life. You know what I mean?

And so it's not, it's, you know, the cliches of it's the journey because it's not going to be when you get there. Like I said, I, I'm, I would love to find a partner and someone to really connect with. But I also remind myself it's not, and that's going to fix something or fill a hole. It's, no, I'd like to share my life with someone. Welcome to The Offensive Line.

You guys, on this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's gonna work, okay? We're gonna run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like No Offense. No offense, Travis Kelce, but you gotta step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably

bitter. Is it Brandon Iuke, T. Higgins, or Devonte Adams? Plus on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. When you say you have someone for 10 years who has helped you with this. It's not a traditional therapist, right? No, no. It's, yeah, it's my buddy Danny and he's, he's basically, you know, comes from

English football background and he, yeah, we started basically just doing mindfulness and meditation over Skype and then, you know, he would be in doing mindfulness and meditation over Skype. And then, you know, he would be in the States and we do work together. But that's the focus of it. And then we discuss certain things. And it's it's got a little more of, you know, it's got a little more of, you know, you remember Harvey Dorfman, Harvey Dorfman is one of the first sports psychologists

that teams hired. He's with the A's, but he was with the original Marlins. And he's written probably the most famous sports psychology book, The Mental ABCs of Baseball and The Mental ABCs of Pitching. I mean, if you go into every major league clubhouse right now, somebody has that in hard copy or on a Kindle in every single clubhouse.

Corbin Burns reads it before all of this starts. Kyle Hendricks, like they all, it's incredible. But Harvey, his thing what's different than standard therapy is, Harv, this is happening. OK, what are we going to do? What are we doing? And that's not just. I think that it leads me to one other point,

and that would be, for as great as therapy has been, I have to say that I think that for a long time, I was confused into thinking that I would think my way into right acting and It's not that you got to act your way into right thinking that one's interesting right because I've learned later in life what? Pollutant the mind is I have always trusted my mind implicitly thinking that I had control of my mind without realizing that it was controlling me and I had a certain absence of control over everything I was doing. When I was allowing it to control me.

It's a poison to be led by your mind instead of your heart. Oh, and again, for me, it is daily. It's daily in terms of, I will catch myself saying something to myself and it just stopped for a second. Being cruel? Yeah. Being cruel.

Yeah. Well, when you say it's part of your hard wiring, do we have to go a lot further than not speaking for eight months after your parents get divorced to find the roots of you're not good enough? Yeah. I mean, there's, yeah, look, there's other stuff for sure, but it's just, uh, yeah, at times you could feel like you're just sort of floating out there, right? I mean, at least I should say not right.

Yeah, that's how I feel at times. Like you're just, you know, floating out there alone a little bit. How often do you feel excellent though? Because you're obviously excellent at what you do. You are by consensus, excellent at what you do. are by consensus excellent at what you do how often do you feel it I'm not sure I will say I will tell you this calling the World Series last year on the radio nationally for the first time was really me and I was excited about it.

And I left feeling like I did a really good job. And it was something that I always wanted to do. And I got a chance to execute that thing. And I was proud of myself. And I'll also say, look, it's, you know, there's, you want the validation to come from inside, because when you're looking for the external stuff, but that said, you know, the only guys, they've only been calling it since 1979, I think.

And it was, you know, Van and Jack Buck and then John Miller and Dan Schulman. And so, after the World Series, I got a call from John Miller who just to tell me that he listened and he thought I did a good job and that I was like floating. So I think that the bigger thing is we're here together because of the, you know, the Marlins and the Cubs are playing and that will be, you know, a raucous situation over there at Lone Depot. And, but I think that the bigger thing is this, I still look forward to it. I'm going to sit down in that seat and just, I'll take the moment to breathe into it.

And my first thought will be, yeah, this would be fun. It's nice to carry around that gratitude. It's also pretty cool to see how your life has become about this world, your friendships, your connections, how much you missed it during the pandemic, because it didn't have the humanity that it has daily. And you sort of were hit in the face with the

loneliness of I'm broadcasting from a closet. because it didn't have the humanity that it has daily and you sort of were hit in the face with the loneliness of I'm broadcasting from a closet, I miss my interaction. Absolutely. So I mean, again, everybody, my cousin is in a band. You guys have actually used some of his music. My cousin, Patrick Wolf, he was high school classmates with Pablo Torre. Shout out Regis High school always running the world.

Anyway, sorry. Don't, don't say it. Um, so you've been annoying about that since you left Regis high school. Anyway, uh, but he's in a band it's called good night, Texas. And we have these conversations over the years, but the idea is how do you get your yayas? Like, how do you get your yas out of this?

And to me, I think I'm a little bit different. When you look at play by play, especially in today's short attention span highlight mode, it's like, how did you call the big play? And yeah, I like that. But calling a cool diving play by the second baseman or just a basic flow of a story and weaving that in, man, I like that stuff. And the connection to seeing people is a huge part of it, as you alluded to. So there's friendships and people that I've known for the longest

time. That's what nourishes me. So I can't just sit there in a broom closet. You know, we called those games, those Korean baseball games in the morning. That was like the Twilight Zone, man. And it was also super hard. It was like, it was, I mean, it was basically is like log rolling and juggling chainsaws, you know, and players you're calling you're calling korean baseball games because cable television has to satisfy Uh, it's live programming and you don't know the players the teams you can't talk to anybody You don't have any information except just you know slight research and We're calling it off of a monitor. It's not we don't control, you know, slight research. And we're calling it off of a monitor.

It's not, we don't control the, you know, so tonight I'm going to say to the director, Hey, give me a shot of Ian Happ and talk back and then he'll show Ian Happ and then he'll talk about Ian Happ. This was just, we're being led around by the nose and it's like, and there's that guy and the other thing that happened about three times. And you're going to think this is a joke, but this is true. So the games were either at four 30 in the morning. Where are you? You're in a closet. You're in Bristol, Connecticut.

No, no, no, no. I'm in my apartment in New York city in the heart of COVID. And I, I'm, I'm getting ready. I wake up at three in the morning for a 5 a.m. game. And no one's listening to or watching this. You could say anything and no one would know. Yeah, I mean, there are some highlight calls where I'm in the middle of something and all of a sudden, did that just go out? Is that, I think that's, oh, that's a home a home run. I mean literally that's what it was like. There's

some real magic. Anyway, but this is true and this happened to all of us but because I was in the first iteration of KBO legendary broadcasters, the games at 5am. I got a call at 445am. Hey, what's up Boog? I know you guys were going to do the Hanwha NC Dinos game, but it got rained out. So you're going to do the Lotte Giants and the KT Wiz in 15 minutes. And I'm like, yeah, that's funny. No serious. So what are we, what are we doing?? No you're going to call the Lotte Giants and the KT Wiz in 15 minutes. Seriously? Is it the second baseman's right hamstring or his left hamstring that's injured? So you ask me, how do you let go?

You get put in spots like that. You are going to spontaneously combust if in that spot, 15 minutes to air, they're telling you your game got rained out. And I don't have lineups or have any idea who are on the teams. It's hard to be a perfectionist striving for excellence under those particular conditions. As I said, log rolling, juggling, chainsaws. What do you regard as the happiest

you've been calling baseball? Is it right now? Is it because of, I mean, you've got a town that cares about its sport. You have the admiration and support of the organization. You have genuine friendships inside of the organization. I can't imagine that there would be a lot that would feel better than where you presently are.

Yeah, it's great. I would say this is, I love it. I just, I love just the energy of the place. It's a special job. It matters, you know? The baseball matters there and it's cool and it's still something that's important to me. Well, explain to people why and how you love baseball the way that you do,

because it's uncommon the way that you love this thing and love continually learning about this thing. Yeah. I think that that's what continued my connection to it. I mean, we used to get into arguments all the time and I brainwashed you some years ago when you would talk about- El Duque was clutch. I know. He was clutch. He was clutch. Every time in a big game, he would be clutch.

Every time. It happened all the time. Back in the day, it would be, it would be, it would be the, he would have conversations with Billy Bean, like right after moneyball. And Billy Bean would be like, man, Levitard really gets it. And I would be like, no, he doesn't. I told him. You would, you would tell me all this stuff.

I read Moneyball myself, but you've known, I've told you this before. I believe you could be the general manager or manager of a baseball team. I do. No shot. No shot. manager of a baseball team. I do. No shot. No shot. I mean the the the level of aptitude that these guys have now is this beyond and but I I mean I appreciate it but it's look I I loved as a kid just the basic nature of the sport playing it both sides of my family liked it dad's side was Phillies fans mom's side Yankee

fans you know told this story a million times. My grandparents went away on a cruise. I was six and I didn't understand what a cruise was. And when my grandfather sat there, you know, we're going to eat, we're going to gamble, we're going to dance, we're going to play shuffleboard. And at the end of it, I looked at him and my only question was, how do you get the box scores? And he said, you don't.

And I said, I am never going on a cruise. And editors know never been on a cruise, not because of that, by the way, but I just have it. So I just loved it. And then I it was the sport I wanted to call. It was the one sport I didn't call in college. So as I mentioned, I go into the Marlins, you know, empty broadcast booth, or a booth that was empty and call it into a tape recorder, and then, you know, empty broadcast booth or a booth that was empty and call it into a tape recorder. And then, you know, gave the tape to Dave O'Brien and then, you know, your buddy Jim Favola. And then I went to Boise, Idaho and, you know, off we went. But it's and then I think as it went on, yeah, the the the the sabermetric stuff, the guys like Rob Nyer

and Bill James interested me and I got a chance to learn and understand and know more and more about the sport and then you meet different people. And I mean, there's so many smart, interesting people in the sport. Guys, we finally made it. Oh, I've been waiting for this day, longing for this day. The NFL week one is here and a new season means new ways to get in on the action of DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. Score big with DraftKings Sportsbook, the best place to bet touchdowns. Download the DraftKings

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I was reading Bill James's baseball abstract with my grandfather when I was in my teens, but the level of aptitude that you had for this sport blew me away because you were learning from all of these different vantage points. And you're very good at accessing information and combining it and you're just an extra you're extraordinarily discerning person. I liked getting a chance to learn all of the nerd type stuff and then go to the baseball people that had the eye to see things that I couldn't see and then you kind of come and form some of your own opinions. And that to me was and is still so interesting when people give you data

and then that I have the access to the baseball people on the field in the front office on multiple teams that are sitting there saying okay but here's something you may not be thinking about and it's just yeah you're just trying to be smarter. But you're always forever curious too. That's right. Like you the fact that you have been at this now what are we looking at 30 years? Boise Idaho was when? How old were you? So 96. Tell me about that experience the minor leagues you didn't have a long time in the minor leagues. No I did I I did a short season A but I landed in Boise Idaho and I was waiting and I was like what did I do? Left Miami for it. Yeah.

And I did it for a half season. So, I mean, short season a is what's 75 games. And I came back the year prior or that year I had been, I was doing talk radio here in Miami and I was also the Panthers pre intermission and post game host on the radio and I radio here in Miami and I was also the Panthers pre intermission and post game host on the radio and I would travel with them. And so, and then I would do my talk show on the road with Chris Moore. And so the Panthers, Wayne Heisenga also owned the Marlins and I basically connected with the guy that did the hiring and the next year they changed up the way the Marlins and I basically connected with the guy that did the

hiring and the next year they changed up the way the Marlins were formatting their TV and radio broadcasts and the fourth broadcaster was going to be a pregame in-game scores postgame guy interviews and eventually it led to play-by-play. But what was the Boise experience like? It was overwhelming. The reason I asked the question is you're in your early 20s, you're on a career path that you could have been doing sports radio for a really long time and had that be a successful career and you aggressively chose something that was both culture shock and I imagine financial shock

and all other kinds of shock. Yeah, there was financial shock. Holy cow. I wasn't good enough and it was just too fast for me. I mean, I've worked with a guy named Rob Simpson who's continued to work in hockey. If you called Rob up now, he would say, yeah, he wasn't that good. Like it just, it was a lot. I just didn't, I didn't know how to do it. And I, it took time to learn how to do it. Was it a hard decision though to make the decision you made? You were, I remember

the bravery in it, right? Because I thought, well, he's established, he's on the correct path, but he's choosing something that matters more to him is also more difficult, but it's something that he will like more than what he's presently doing and take more pride in being excellent at it. It did not feel like a hard decision. It felt like a just go jump at the deep end of the pool.

I mean, my job before coming down and working at QAM through a friend of a friend of a friend, I went and worked at a radio station in Bradford, Pennsylvania, WESB, and I went there because at 22 years old, I was going to have a chance to be on the air. Like, that's one of the things that's changed is that, you know, the mechanism for people, the avenues for people to be on the air now, it's infinite. Back then, it was harder to actually get up. So I did news, I did sports, I boarded up the Pirates games, I covered, you know, school meetings, all that type stuff.

I also was the midnight to eight donut maker for one night at a top supermarket, which is awesome. One night? Just one night? One night. And it was literally like splattering grease and like with the chopsticks. And at, you know, five in the morning, I'm like, I could do this for a month and I'll just put the money away by six. I was like, two weeks, it's money. At seven, I was like, okay, so one week and I'll just, you know, come in and I'll get the check and at eight AM I was like, I'm never coming back here again. And I never went back and I'll date myself, but the joke is worth it for the people that get it.

I had told friends cause I needed to supplement my income. Cause I went there to do all that stuff on the radio for minimum wage. That's what they paid. They paid minimum wage. And I, uh, I told all my friends that I was doing this. And so I had an answering machine. Kids ask your friends or your dad, whatever. And they would leave me a message

for probably 10 straight days at 11.40 at night. And it would, so I'd be asleep. They didn't know I quit. And the message would simply be, Shambhi, Shambhi, time to make the donuts. They forgot you only did it for one, or that you didn't tell them. No, I didn't tell them I quit. I didn't tell them.

My bad. Uh, when you say that John Miller called you after you did a game, uh, what are some of the other compliments you have gotten from baseball royalty that are moving to you that make you feel like you belong in the pantheon of the best to ever do it in our most historic sport? Well, I don't think I feel that. I just, like, something like that just felt

as sort of surreal that he was reaching reaching out like that I don't I guess I'm not I'm probably not comfortable to say in that spot what are you not comfortable in terms of like comp I'm trying to think of a compliment I'm just talking about people who have looked man there are people you've admired there's there's a craftsmanship to what you do. For those who don't maybe know the detail that goes into a three and a half hour broadcast, which is what you used to be doing before baseball sped everything up, but a four hour broadcast where you have to have this tapestry of knowledge and you start with a mess and then you follow the game and make sure to fill all of that time in a way that's measured correctly,

paced correctly, has enough interesting in it. It's a nightly work of art that, as you say, you never leave feeling like it was perfect. To have John Miller, who is someone whose style you've admired for a long time, who has a grace about what he does, to have that person call you after a thing that you've dreamed about for as long as I've known you. I know your heart's been broken in a couple of occasions

where you thought you were gonna call World Series games and you didn't get the chance to call World Series games. To have all of that happen, you are now guilty of articulating an inability to feel feelings. So, sorry, I mean, the one other specific one that I can tell you was I remember, I walked into Fenway Park, I'm gonna say it's 2017, and I walked past Bob Costas,

and he was standing there with a couple of people, and he kind of turned his, and I know him at that point, but he kind of turned his head and he saw me and he, he almost ran to me and he said, John, I just want to tell you, I was listening the other night and it was just incredible, like listening on the radio and, um, yeah, that's pretty, pretty amazing for him to go out of his way to, to say that was really, uh, yeah, that's pretty, pretty amazing for him to go out of his way to say that was really, uh, yeah, it meant a lot. Obermann too, who has an appreciation for some of

broadcastings finer qualities. Uh, Obermann is an enormous baseball fan. Huge baseball fan. Yeah. I, I, but for, to have these people tell you that you're great at what you do, surely you must then know that you belong among the people who are great at what they do. I can't. Yeah. I mean, again, I think that I'm, yeah, there's no,

I think that I'm trying to just find the, the, the piece of it inside of me. I feel, I guess I, yes, it feels nice. I don't, I try not to, I don't want, it feels nice. I don't I try not to. I don't want to focus on that stuff too much, because I think in in everyday life, when you're when you need the validation of other people or you need, you know, another one back to, you know, our original stuff about just therapy and peace in your mind, when you need other people to get your perspective, like you give your power away and it's really

dangerous when you need that and I have that I want to Articulate my last point, you know when I did standard sports talk radio, I wanted to convince people I really did and I wore it emotionally at times in a way, when they wouldn't be convinced. And I think that letting go of needing someone to, the one thing that I've been lucky about is, I'll say this, I think I feel like this is probably more what you're looking for. And that is,

look, man, I don't love my body. I struggle with a lot of different things in the workspace. When I leave a broadcast and I think I had a really good broadcast, I don't need it to be told to me from anyone. And if 200 straight people came up to me and said, that stunk, more often than not in my heart, I'm like, nope. That's how I feel about writing when I've done it correctly. That it doesn't matter. It's why it's the most fulfilling thing to me professionally,

writing well. Because to know that when I've met my standard's why it's the most fulfilling thing to me professionally, writing well, because to know that when I've met my standard, if it's not unimpeachable, at least I have the peace of knowing there's nothing you can say to me. I know this was good. But you suffered it. You suffered it. Well, that's the only way it would get like that, though. Like, it's not, you have to, I mean, maybe all of this stuff comes, have you met a broadcaster? Have you met a baseball broadcaster who makes it look easy and it was actually easy for them that they just get in front of the microphone

and they didn't have to do all the 30 years of craftsmanship that you had to do? Yeah, but I mean, but there's a pain that I inflicted on myself. I can't sit here and tell you that guys like John Miller or Joe Buck like suffer it. You know, I mean, I can remember, um, I can remember you having the conversation and

there are different, you know, different guys are different. You've asked Poznanski, uh, about, he loves writing, he loves writing. Um, and then I'm blanking, is it Gary Jones? Who's, who's the guy, Gary Smith, who Smith? Gary Smith, who's probably the best takeout sports writer, take out long form storyteller, I don't know, the last 40 years?

Wouldn't start writing until he had talked to at least 50 people. But he didn't suffer it? I've listened to you, you asked him, he didn't suffer it. I mean, I've listened to you. You asked him. He didn't suffer it. He did not suffer it. There are very few I have met who do not suffer it. Many say the same thing Hemingway says,

which is it's as easy as cutting your wrist. But I do envy the ones who don't have to suffer it, because I've always tied it to my process. It's why I've not been able to write a book. The idea of it is too daunting to me to sit down and choose suffering at this point in my life. But if it's the most fulfilling thing, can I possibly have it without the suffering? Yeah, no, I'm with you. I don't want you to write a book either, because that means I'm going to get phone calls at three in the morning and I'm going to be proofreading again.

That's right. Those were the glory days. One of the few ever trusted with the ability to proofread. It still stings me that you didn't like that Edger and James cover story that I wrote for ESP in the magazine. Still hurts in the places where I'm vulnerable. You just didn't get it. I'm sorry. No, you're not.

You enjoy holding that over me. Can you tell us a little bit though about where it is that you thought the path was most difficult for you professionally? holding that over me. Can you tell us a little bit though about where it is that you thought the path was most difficult for you professionally? Again I think in the early stages I really thought to myself I'm not good enough and I don't know how good I can get at this so I think that there was that and now I'm talking about being a baseball radio guy. I just didn't, it didn't come as naturally, you know? So, so you know, you focus on the knowledge, etc. But when a play is happening in front

of you, there's different, you know, there are different things and there's timing and there's flow. And all the knowledge in the world and the ability to tell the story if the timing and the flow isn't on point and if you're not describing what you see in a really good way then you know the rest of it's kind of moot so I yeah it was just I wish I could tell you when it started to feel like I got this. It did happen and you've lived there for a while. As far as I can tell, I feel like since you left the Marlins, you don't necessarily suffer the over preparation stuff. And that was how many years ago?

Yeah, my last year at the Marlins was 2004. So yeah, sometime after that. Sometime after that. But I think, yeah, it just, it took a while. And I tell you, the other thing is Mike Ryan and I were talking earlier about just kind of the, you know, about you and I possibly doing a show together back in the day and, you know, that I was chasing my,

you know, my dream, my passion to do play by play. But one of the things is that I got more comfortable later in my career just doing me. So that I always talk about to young guys, what's hard is you've got to get comfortable with the mechanics. But what you're trying to do is take what you're like on the air and take what you're like on the air and take what you're like off the air and you want

them to be as much the same thing as possible that you're, you know, willing to make the jokes and say the off-cuff thing that you think isn't supposed to be the domain of play by play. And so like, I didn't think, like, I felt like I got better when I turned 40 because I got just a little more comfortable with who I was on the air and that you're really getting me. And so I do think that one of the components of the connection to baseball and baseball fans. It's every day. But I do think the way people react to me is in part about that I'm able to bring authentic me to the air. And so they feel like they know me.

How to stop losses work on Kraken? Let's say I have a birthday party on Wednesday night, but an important meeting Thursday morning. So sensible me pre-books a taxi for 10 p.m. with alerts. Voila! I won't be getting carried away and staying out till 2. That's Stop Loss Orders on Kraken, an easy way to plan ahead. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. I remember you and I sort of talking about, you mentioned the Mike Ryan component before Stugat and before Greg Cody, I thought that it was going to be you and I doing what would have been the best sports radio show in America or we would have killed each other. I don't know which way that would have gone because I think it would have been a I think we would

have had great chemistry and I think it would have been unusual to talk about sports the way that you and I were talking about sports in our 20s and I really think with the reps of that we would have gotten very good at this. Yes I think back to what I was just talking about I think I would probably have been more ready to do it and it thrived probably 10 years later because I still think that one of the issues that you and I would have had is that we we talked so much and we shared a very similar perspective and we shaped one another's ideas in some regard there are times when the cadence

of how we deliver stuff is similar still and I just think that when you're talking about back in the day sports talk radio there still was again my passion and my focus was on play-by. There was still though, so much, I think at that time where you would have made a point and I would have sat there and said, yeah, because I just, I think that. I just remember us arguing so much that, and I'd be stubborn. So I wouldn't come around to your viewpoint until years later. And sometimes not even then, cause El Duque was clutch.

He was clutch in the postseason. I kept seeing it again and again, and he was Cuban. He was so Cuban. And I loved that he would just throw those crappy crouton pitches up there. 89 miles an hour. He would get everybody out in the post season. I know. We spent so much time arguing about stuff.

Like, yes, we'd arrive at shaped opinion. We didn't agree. By the time we started examining that, we weren't arguing a ton. We, by the time we were examining, doing a show, I'm saying there wasn't, we, we, we were on the same page. I'm going to correct you on this because I remember being in the Waxie studio one time, and I just think a lot of this would have made a lot of humanity would have made an appearance in what it is that We were doing I don't remember the specifics of the argument. Perhaps you will it wasn't even about sports

You were saying there's something that I do that. I am NOT good with anger and Lord knows God Almighty. I've learned this probably in the last five years. I didn't even realize the way that I was pushing down anger. Me too. That my discomfort with anger was such that I wouldn't even acknowledge that it was present. And when it would make an appearance, it would jostle me. But when you would bear your fangs at me, it would frighten me. And you would say that I would passive aggressively get you to that point and then take no responsibility for it. That was the source of the argument.

That was, uh, that what, what did I do? Yes. What did I do? Yes. What did I do? What? What? I don't, huh?

Who? Me? Hmm. And I mean, if we parade, let me tell you something. If we paraded every single person that is behind these doors in here and I gave them that scenario, they would all be like, Oh yeah, I know that dude. What did I do?

So tell the people about this because this is a place where I've lacked some self-awareness over the years. You're uniquely qualified to give people all of the, all of the stuff they want on all the places where I have blind spots. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's an element of where you would sort of push. There's definitely a passive aggressiveness to it. And then when you would get the reaction,

you would be surprised at the reaction and the focus would probably be a bit more on the reaction than on what we had just been discussing. So it became about the reaction to the behavior. And you'd be like, I don't know, what are you talking about? Are you so mad? Yeah, what are you so mad about? Why would you get so mad about that?

What's the matter with you? Right. What's the matter with you? Yeah, no, I understand what you're trying to do. You know, both of my parents, you know my family. Yes. What would be your assessment of our family dynamic because you realize that nobody was telling me

throughout my life, because I grew up with so many Cuban kids, that my whole family dynamic was weird. Nobody was telling me that. Yeah, I was telling you that. And I love your family. I mean, it's funny because for the fame that Poppy has gotten, he'll always be Gonzo to me.

So just having known him for so long and I still, yeah, I just, I still can remember like we're sitting on the couch and watching some terrible Don Johnson movie and he was like, what was that show he was on? He's the police officer. And like, what was the show? You know. We're guessing Miami vice, dad.

Miami vice? No. Vanilla Smith. No vanilla Smith. That's right. And it's like one 1000, two 1000. You talking about Nash bridges, Gonzo? Vanilla Smith. Close enough.

Close enough. You, uh, I've never asked you what you made of my father. The idea that my, that Gonzo, the, the the Gonzo you know, would spend eight, eight years as part of ESPN's daily line up of shows has to be one of the greatest miracles in the history of sports entertainment in his second language, knowing very little about sports. And it would be one of these things where you get into an argument with him every once in a while. He'd always be upset about the dolphins. He'd always have something negative to say about Marino.

And then when you would box him in or pin him down and win the argument, he would look at you and just go, I don't know. Well, I don't know about that. It's an argument. I don't know about that. And then it's just like all of a sudden the mic drops and you're sitting there and you're like, wait, what?

What do you mean? I just gave you a bunch of facts. What just happened? There were a bunch of facts. One of my favorite dad stories, I think you know this one, is my father looking up from a newspaper. He's reading about Ted Kaczynski. He's reading.

And he gets to like the 17th paragraph. He's inside of the newspaper and he just looks at me from over the newspaper after reading the 17th paragraph, which is that Ted Kaczynski fertilized his own lawn with his own feces. And he looks up at me and he says, Danny, this Unabomber is a weird guy. Yeah, Dad, you were just, he was mailing bombs to me. It's not because he fertilized his lawn, but it had to be weird to you to just see all of that because you had, I still remember the conversation and I don't know how deeply you wanna go in here

with our parents aging. But I still remember I had to be in my late 20s, early 30s. Really doing this one, okay, go ahead. Yeah, and my father- At the Olympics. No, I wasn't doing, you can do the Olympics one next. I'm doing my father insisting,

after picking me up from the airport, on physically bringing my bags into the house and you're like, why would you let him do that? Just do it for yourself. And I'm like, it makes him feel needed. He associates need with love and it's a nice thing to let him do. It's not cause I need him to carry my bags. It's because he feels like a dad. My father associates, whether it's the pets or anything, like my father associates that with love. If you need him, Then that's the way that love gets expressed. Yeah Man you just push the button

I would say that one of the things for me that it's not it's not in every space but in spaces where I don't feel loved and I want love I have a tendency to over give and Because I'm unsure of yeah I'm unsure whether I'm safe so like even now I can participate in relationships where I give too much and it's probably a little bit of like people pleaser and I'm sure there's a segment of the population that knows me that it's like, you're a people pleaser. Kind of a jackass. You know what I mean?

Like, I don't, I mean, I'm not, I'm not always, yeah. I'm not always gentle. But that one, that one pushes a button for me just because like, yeah, you were able to see that that made him feel good. And I struggled with it because I was always advocating for realness. You know what I'm saying? Like that I wanted it to be, you know, have a

conversation and yeah, and people are limited. Well, you'd have conversations about your own father though, some of the stuff you've, uh, you've come to grips. I don't know. Uh, you've come to grips. I don't know. You've come to grips with everything that that was because, um, obviously

when you, when you, you, you said it sort of flippantly and you've said it several times over the course of knowing you. I stopped speaking for six to eight months as a four year old when my parents got divorced, like to me, that would be a seismic life event that sort of shapes someone from the start and affects their hardwiring. Yeah and you're you know and you're and then it's just you and your mom and and again there's plenty of people that have the same thing happen and they don't react that way. And I think about that sometimes too. So look, it's one of those things that I think that as you, I mean, for me doing work on it and you

look to kind of unhook yourself from those things as being unchangeable. and again, for me, it's daily practice of, you know, some prayer, some meditation and trying to, uh, and trying to be kind to myself and to others. Prayer, huh? Yeah. I didn't know that. No. When did that make an appearance? Hmm.

Probably five years ago, six years ago. Is there a life event involved with that? Not really. I would just, I think, I don't have a depth of faith to give you on that one. I'm just surprised to hear you say it at all. I think of all of these things as sort of intertwined, right? That the spirituality of being one with your breath and the universe and

at peace with yourself and self-love that there's God in there. So what I would tell you is, I think I had a long stretch, it goes back to like sports talk, you know, I definitely had more of needing to be right than you did. And I think that just sort of letting go of some of that, and I think that it probably in some part eventually opened it up towards, I don't know, some type of connection in that, but just the openness of, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, not sure. Well, I feel this since my brother died. I feel something. And I don't think it's hope. I don't think it's just my mind concocting something because I want to keep the love alive or keep the memory of him alive. Like, I feel something that feels unknown and I

don't think I'm inventing it. Yeah I get you and in the end and that's good enough. You know what I'm saying? Like I think that that old me and for a long time needed to investigate and try to figure out and have concrete answers. Correct. The Olympic story. I don't know which one you're talking about. Oh, just the, you know, basically we were, we were at the Olympics and have you ever told the, the, uh, Jeff Miller and you being a Japanese movie star? I don't know if I've told that story before. Uh, I think I have. I may have told the story before, but let's see

what your recollection of it is. I was, uh, I was, uh, embarrassed and betrayed by my friend, Jeff Miller, a stoic passive type who is not inclined to this kind of behavior. I was in a media center. Uh, it was very exhausted. It was very crowded. And I, I, I laid him down and I was like, I'm going to go to the movies. I'm going to this kind of behavior. I was in a media center.

Uh, it was very exhausted. It was very crowded and I, I, I laid down on a desk in a corner of the place. And I just told Jeff Miller, please keep an eye on things here. There's a lot of media here. Don't let me get embarrassed. I'm just going to sleep for 10 minutes. And then when I opened a single eye, there was a Japanese film crew right over me filming me as Jeff Miller laughed in a corner,

and we concocted a scenario where I'm huge in Japan as the sleeping journalist because everybody knows that I fall asleep in professional settings. That's right. What does that have to do with my father? It was the, you likened it to, we were talking about the interaction, and you likened, we were at Salt Lake City, you likened it to, we were talking about the interaction and you likened, we were at Salt Lake City,

you likened it to giving him a lollipop. And I was like, no. And I think, yeah, I think that that, again, it's just holding on to an idea of what you want something to be. I mean, again, I think that it's one of these deals where, and I still struggle with, you know, you want people to be a certain thing and you, if you keep being disappointed by, you know, an expectation that you're setting, then it's kind of on you.

Do you know the story of Jeff Miller staying at my father's house? I do. You know, like. Yeah. It's just, this is one of my favorites. Yeah, you woke up to gonzo. Well, I don't wanna, how do I tell this story? I'll tell it with you.

So Jeff Miller needs a place to stay. For some reason, he can't stay at my house. I say, but my parents have an extra room and my brother's sense of humor is like, all you gotta do, Jeff. It's okay They'll treat you well, they'll feed you and everything But at some point in the evening My dad's gonna try and come in the room and fuck you like he's gonna try and do that and you just got to be okay

With it and just like lay still and that's what's gonna happen. And so at six o'clock in the morning Jeff Miller opens a single eye the way that I did in that media center and sees my father coming for what looks like his head because at some point the dog has jumped in with Jeff Miller and slept and my father was gonna take the dog to work but Jeff Miller's... Dad's reaching for him. 6 a.m. my father's coming in for what looks like an aggressive kiss sure but that's the way my brother was you know the Adam Silver story with Lebo right the night we're having dinner with Adam Silver and a bunch of important people

my brother doesn't know anything about sports and I just see across the table that he's shouting my brother's shouting at Adam Silver. What? Guy can't tell a couple of dick jokes? Not appropriate. No. I miss him so much. I miss you too, buddy. Back at you.

Love you. Love you too. Great catching up with you. Thank you for making the time. Thank you. Thank you. Now's a good time to remember where the story of tequila started. In 1795, the first tequila distillery was opened by the Cuervo family, and 229 years later, Cuervo is still going strong.

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