The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - South Beach Sessions - Iliza Shlesinger

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

Iliza Shlesinger has been a dominant force in comedy and podcasting… and that’s because she’s never been afraid to stay true to herself and her audience. Iliza holds nothing back from Dan in how she’s made a career in comedy - the risks and reality of betting on yourself and the often unspoken toll it can take. Iliza also opens up her experiences now as a new mother, including the immense joy for her (“it’s even better than performing”), while also diving into her battling postpartum depression, and how she realized she needed help to deal with the weight of it all. Iliza’s “Get Ready” tour will be continuing through the rest of 2024, you can get tickets at iliza.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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SAB, the CV. Copyright 2024. Proximo. Jersey City, New Jersey. Please drink responsibly. Welcome to South Beach Sessions, neither the south nor near a beach. It is a bit of a session. The comedians make me a little bit nervous. They always do.

I'm a little scared of them so I'm just going to tell you that off the top because I feel like you can embarrass me very quickly. She's toured internationally. six specials to her name, she's written a couple of books, written and starred in a movie. What am I missing, Eliza? It's fine, that's fine. No one's tuning out because you missed something.

What is the strangest thing for you to hear here when I say those things? Like when I say has worked? Like when I say, has worked for 20 years in comedy, two books, movie, internationally. Yeah, I think when it comes to listing credits, I'm like a million miles away because it's so embarrassing to hear it. And then like you relive your whole career in like a moment. So I just smile through when a host does that. And then I rejoin. But you're not amazed by anything on there when I say it like this is a really odd way to make a career with just your

funny no safety net I The one of the many reasons the comedians make me nervous is because I really admire What I view is the bravery of getting up there with just your talent and seeing if you can make a career of it because there Aren't health benefits that like it's a really tough way to do it. Whatever the opposite of health benefits, it's just detrimental at every turn mentally and physically, but we risk it for the biscuit.

Yeah, there's no safety net, but if that's how you've always operated, like I can't imagine going to an office and having to like confer with people before I like suggest something for fear of having to go to HR. Like I can't imagine having one set salary, which is how everyone operates. And there's like, you can't make more money, like you can't side hustle,

like you can't do other things. Like no, I make X amount of dollars and that's what we budget. And I, there's so much risk in standup, but the reward makes it so worth it. Well, you call it the best job in the world, right? It's the best job in the world. How did you know that it was going to be a career for you?

Like, when did you identify it as something to chase? I think it's just when you're a performer, and I would imagine, I liken myself to an athlete, I think when you are an artist or an athlete, you have a passion. It's not a decision as much as just where you move toward. You know, it was always, whether you're an athlete and you always played sports and you always worked out

and you're always on the teams. And as an artist, like I was always, you know, you're making people laugh. You're when the teacher's like, do you wanna do a skit or a report? You're like, what do you think? Like, of course I wanna, you're always finding audiences. And so I just knew I was gonna be in comedy.

And maybe it was standup, but I just knew I was gonna make people laugh for a living. And so I just sort of, you know, moved in that direction, whether it was going to film school, yeah. People were telling you, you were good at it fairly immediately? Cause that, when I, the way I became a writer is just somebody told me I was good at something

when I was in high school. In high school. Yeah, but I did it the way you're talking about where it's just sort of like, all right, I'm gonna float towards something. Somebody thinks I'm good at something, I'm gonna float over there. You were following the laughter,

it felt good to make people laugh? It felt good to make people laugh and that was my currency. I think we all have a currency. Maybe you're good looking and that's why everyone's friends with you or you're the smart kid in the science group. And I was my currency. I think we all have a currency. Maybe you're good looking and that's why everyone's friends with you or you're the smart kid in the science group and I was always funny.

I was funny before it was reinforced. I saw people laughing, but I was made the teachers laugh. And so this was just what I gravitated toward and it's how I handled everything. Not a disruptive funny, but just like that was the goal. And I watched funny things and I cobbled together my own education about what was funny.

And I just always knew that that was something, it was just with no real education about like, this is what standup is, or this is what comedy filmmaking is or whatever. And I just, no one said I couldn't, so I just did. Do you have any sort of landmark visions on things you were noticing on television or anywhere else where it dawned on you as an illumination Oh, this might be something that I can like dedicate my life to

No, because there's no moment and I wish there were a moment I because I I was envy comics who were like I saw Richard Pryor live on the Sunset Strip and I knew For me was just always a reinforcement. I saw myself as them. And in many cases it was men, but I just saw myself as them. I saw myself in these sketches when I watched kids in the hall or Saturday night live, I didn't see the difference. No one had ever told me women weren't funny.

So I never saw it as a gendered thing. Um, perhaps that's why I have like such an ego or a confidence about it. I just never thought I shouldn't talk or the boy is funny, I shouldn't do it. And so because I saw sort of myself as genderless, but the idea of it is genderless, like funny is funny. And I just went and I'm still that way. But from everything I've heard of the world, you've been at it for 20 years now, 20 years ago was not a place where you weren't going to notice that your gender doesn't matter. Even as recently as 20 years ago,

it didn't, from everyone I've talked to, it's less safe than one would imagine in terms of welcoming, warmth. Yeah, I guess, yes, not I guess, yes, but, I just knew in my bones that this was the direction I was going in. So the awful people just sort of fell by the wayside. It's not to say it wasn't painful or it didn't hurt

or that didn't give me pause when someone was weird or creepy, but I also became a headlining comedian so young that the time in which most women are dealing with guys, not booking them or harassment and stuff, I was already headlining. So you couldn't tell me nothing because what are you gonna hold over my head

that I can't do your bar show? Okay, I'm in St. Louis this weekend doing the thing that you wanted to do. So I had that in a way that I wish a lot of women could have. So I never had to deal with a lot of that guff. Did you find that a lot of people were threatened by you? Because getting it that way without having

to grind through a lot of doubt in your early 20s isn't the most common thing. I think people are threatened by anyone doing something that they love and doing it well. So, you can always look back and think about men or women. I'm not gonna absolve women of this, and their shitty attitude toward you, but it's not, it wasn't, I'm not so special

that it's reserved just for me. We all get bitter. We all look at someone that has something that we want and hopefully don't take it out on them. But I think that's a very human thing and that's what artists go through. I think that's just what people go through. And so, yeah, I mean, it's there,

but if you just stay focused, I always tell comics, if you look back or anyone in any sort of art, look back at the people who were awful to you or whatever, and however they atone, or they find God, or they accidentally get a waitress pregnant, and now they have a family they have to deal with, whatever. Most of those people are not still doing it.

All the people that you thought were these like spiritually insurmountable, horrible people in your way, like don't exist 10 years later. And so I, for whatever that's worth to people. Did you have much doubt or struggle or was it just? This morning. But I'm talking about career, I'm not talking about life where you felt like this might not be for me.

I might not get there because it sounds like if you're having success so early and you're stacking Successes on top of each other so early. It seems like a pretty good definition for where confidence comes from I mean I look I know I'm a very good stand-up comic and I know that I can always do stand-up comedy But I think there is no there there, you know As soon as your goal is to do theaters you're doing theaters and then you want bigger theaters. Then you do the bigger theaters and then you're like,

you always want something more. So the sooner, and I can't say that I'm great at this, the sooner you can like recalibrate to realize like, it's just this fast roller coaster that never doesn't make you nauseous. You know, I'm always gonna, I don't see myself, they're just standup specials, you know, there's no Oscar there, there's no Emmy there.

I am always, I wake up thinking about all the things that I failed at. And not in a self-deprecating way, like I don't have a bad self-esteem, but I'm constantly thinking about all of the things that I haven't got that I desperately want. Really? Yeah. All the things, you wake up thinking about the things

that you have failed at because there's material there? No, it's not funny. It's like the first thing in my, and it's the last few years, like I wake up and you're like, I just think about all the things that I don't have and I think about the moment that maybe I could have had them. And especially lately, I've been thinking about

all the things that I've done wrong and doing my best to like, well, in this, like how do we recalibrate this? How do we, you know, how do we not repeat the same mistakes or how do we get better at writing or get better at listening or just whatever you may have been dinged for or you could have been dinged for just the fact that you showed up and had nothing to do with you. But I'm just always trying to always grow mentally and as an artist. Well, how easy are you on yourself there?

Cause people have been listening to this for a while. Know that I struggle treating failure as learning. I just sort of ravaged myself on, oh, that's- You struggle treating it as learning or you struggle in doing so? No, I struggle in, when you say I wake up in the morning thinking about my failures, that's not a good feeling to me. Failing is not a good feeling to me,

wherever it is that I find perfectionism. I have a hard time turning the light on it to be like all learning is failure. Like that tends to be how one learns. If you're gonna grow, you're gonna grow on the other side of pain, but I sort of, I tend to wallow in it a little bit. The way.

Oh, you're Jewish. No, I'm not Jewish, but Cubans have some of that. Sure, sure. You're Catholic. Yes, Catholic. It's the same thing, it's the same. I guess there's, I'm not a depressed person,

but there's definitely moments of that wallowing and they come out of nowhere. And all of a sudden you're at a party and you're just like thinking about the last time you were at a party like this and how the person you wanted to talk to was shitty to you. And you're like, well, that's because you're like nobody and nobody's going to want like,

and it is a voice that you have to, I'm learning to like just change the channel because it isn't productive. and I'm learning that like the people around me don't necessarily want to hear that whether it comes out as anger or tears or something and so I'm always trying to remind myself like you feel really bad right now but you won't in 10 minutes so try not to explode your life by like texting like, like just go do a set or something. I always feel as a comic, like your salvation lies on the other side of that hour. You know, you always feel better or that 15 minutes or whatever. That will always make you feel better because that's

doing the best thing in the world. How have you gotten better at anxiety? How, like how, where does that come with age, with growth, with motherhood? Like, where, where to be able to observe yourself and treat anxiety as information as opposed to just sinking into the, the, the turbulence of it? I'm reticent to say got better because I don't, I think it's something that I'm only truly grappling with now in an intellectual way versus like avoidance or anger. So I don't know. But one thing I did, this is like I do not deserve any flowers for this, like this morning I was like I have a problem with Instagram and it's making it worse for social reasons. Not even like about looking at other actors or something like that. I don't care

about that. Like I'll watch anyone's good movie. But I was like, this is rewiring my brain in a way that is not conducive to intellectual thought, or looking at problem solving or drawing your own conclusions. And so I called my social media person. I was like, I need you to change the password. That's how bad it is. Oh, wow. That's interesting. And I need, like, if you, there's, I want to answer fans and I you to change the password. Like that's how bad it is. Oh wow, that's interesting. And I need, like if you, there's,

I wanna answer fans and I wanna do that stuff, so let me know at the end of the week what I can answer, but I can't. I have like a very, I'm a big like put your head down, get the work done kind of person. We tried taking it off the phone, I keep reinstalling it, and I've never been addicted to something.

Oh wow, that's a good awareness to have because I find myself struggling with the same sort of thing. Do you have an Instagram? I don't have an Instagram, but in the business I'm in, I have to sort of keep up with every single thing that's happening. I imagine with you, there's content everywhere that needs to be made funny that I imagine I don't know if it's but that your

mind is always thinking of where do I find the jokes and stuff, and so it's a tool that's helpful to keep you engaged with what people are interested in, but then also wherever it is that your anxieties lie, you can see 50 things about how funny you are and then just seize on the one that hits you in an insecure place. And if you then start getting addicted to it, it becomes a distraction that you're not

even aware of how much you're consuming it. So in a couple ways, for me it's less about the insecurity and it's more about combating weaponized ignorance and stupidity. So somebody's like, you're not funny. I'm like, okay, well, my houses that I own dictate otherwise. But I know only male athletes are allowed to talk like that. Me and Deion Sanders are like. But it's more something deeply problematic and antisemitic

or it will be something deeply trying to be hurtful about being a woman or it will be something just so out of bounds that doesn't hurt my feelings, I get angry that that person thought that they were worth, how dare you think that you're allowed to speak to me that way. And so it doesn't hurt my feelings, it's an anger. And so that's harder because if it hurts your feelings,

you're like, okay, why does it hurt my feelings? Let's look at that with anger, then I start sweating, and then I find myself on a Turkish Instagram page at one in the morning after doing a gig in Toronto just hitting C translation over and over. You thought I didn't know what you were saying? And that's wrong. We have a flight in three hours.

You have a family at home. It's not healthy. It's not healthy. And it's a fight that's unw at home. It's not healthy. It's not healthy. And it's a fight that's unwinnable, like. Unwinnable. And I am the kind of person that thinks you can win every fight. Not in a like, I told you so, but in a, I deeply think like, oh, if I can just say the

intelligent thing, surely they'll come around. And so I forgot the other part of the question, but I don't, I'm doing my, oh oh you were talking about the social media of it all it is hard I mean you're watching sports right you need to keep up with it I this new world of content it and being forced to make it it's amazing for so many reasons and it's kind of like your pleasure is your poison. Like I used to love filming funny sketches and stuff like that, but now, and my team's doing their job when they're like,

hey, could you do a collab with someone? Sometimes that person's great. And sometimes you're like, I don't know who this person is. And like, they're not a performer. They just happen to get famous. And now you've got to create this. And so you're taking time away from something that you might otherwise be doing

because all of the sudden, like overnight, creating this perfect hour of polished standup isn't enough. It's sort of amazing to hear you talk about these things that have probably always been present in some form, but in 2024 America, when you're talking about being Jewish or being a woman, it feels because of social media more publicly divisive than it's ever been. Even though, excuse me, this stuff has always been there.

But now it's never been quite in your face with bots and trolls and people that exist almost exclusively to create the anger and division that has you doing what, and then you feel like a sucker for being lured into it. Well, so therein lies the silver lining, because if you intellectualize it, you can say it was always there, they just didn't have the internet.

Racism was always there, we just didn't have the internet. Information about anything you ever wanted to know was always there, it just wasn't in the palm of your hand. So the good news is, it was always there, it's not going anywhere. The bad news is, it's not going anywhere. And so it's about really learning how to calibrate. And I'm saying this as if I'm doing it.

I'm doing my best to do it. I do not have a handle on this. And the content, you know, you, people don't, I don't think people fully internalize that like when you look at something, it doesn't matter if you like it because you looked. It's almost like a horror movie. Like you looked at it, now you're part of it.

And so you hate watch stuff or you look at stuff that's stupid or you just out of curiosity want to see something. But that is still a view which translates to money. So the boring, inane, the stupid get more successful and plenty of successful people who are funny get more successful. But like the internet has killed curiosity because once I look now I'm part of this system and now it will serve me more of that even if I've decided I didn't like it like I'm good with Bella Hadid videos mm-hmm like that's cool that I clicked once to look at her shoes but like now I got to look at this one wrong time but your business right now I

read a director the other day said that movies are no longer the primary art form it's all social media and video games. Your profession, you've been around it long enough to see it shift to now you better be podcasting and you better be connected to social media in some way in order to just sell yourself. So I don't even know how much of a choice you have. There's no choice because to object to it

renders you a dinosaur. Then you're the person just like doing their standup and like doing this, I don't know, the kids, you know. You have no choice, like the best comics always evolve. You know, even in your material, you don't wanna be 50 talking about like having sex with 20 year olds. Like it's cringey, as the kids say.

And so I think it's all about like, what's the authentic way? Because at the end of the day, a lot of us are artists versus just creators, you know, and you can call art whatever you want, but what's the way that I can engage with this that feels authentic and good to me? Maybe I won't see exponential growth,

but at least at the end of the day, I will feel good about what I did. That's just the way that I wrestle with it. But I do not, I think there's a lot of bitterness out there about the people who have like figured out something on the internet and they have, they're filling arenas or they're making millions of dollars. At the end of the day, it is a meritocracy.

And so you may not like that comedy, but the audience does. And that's just as valid as a perfectly crafted, bespoke, you know, 45 minutes of standup. It's just that's what it is. There's no reason to be bitter about it. Season means new ways to get in on the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA. Who's draining threes from beyond the arc? Who's crashing the boards? Who's grabbing rebounds? Get behind your favorite players and the prop bets you can make on DraftKings, the home of NBA player props. New DraftKings customers bet $5 to get 200 in bonus bets instantly.

Every point counts with DraftKings Sportsbook. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code DAN. That's code DAN for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets when you bet just five bucks. My mouth is salivating at that deal. Only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Why did you write what you did recently about Israel? terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co.uk. Why did you write what you did recently about Israel? Is it in here that you didn't want to be fighting a bot in Turkey? Is it because you saw that everyone seems to want to engage in this discussion? Everyone has an opinion or seems to have an opinion on something that has been here for

a long time and is complicated and none of us really have a solution that make us feel very hopeful about it. Why did you decide to tackle it in the form that you did? Of a post, of a static post. I mean, anybody who knows me knows that I have a very clear-headed opinion and it stems from the idea that because you're a Jewish person, you should not be beaten up on the street simply because you're Jewish. That's what I've always stood for.

Even if you didn't like, even if you hate Israel, I mean, we don't like China, but you don't see Chinese students getting beaten up. We don't like Russia. I don't see any bricks going through the Russian delis in West Hollywood, but people have gotten very comfortable with exacting like very harmful revenge on everyday Jewish people.

So that's insane. And even in standing for that, people get mad at me. And I, on October 7th of this year, I just, I just think about, when we think about horrible things in history, whether it be slavery, I know that these two always get compared to the Holocaust or anything awful that happens to a group of people, we always years later are like,

well, I would have done something. I wouldn't have had slaves. I would have hidden Anne Frank. I would have said something. But there's so much group think involved. And I just have to be, A, I have to express myself as an artist, number one, I have to, I have to be heard. And I cannot look back at this and say that I said nothing.

And so for this whole year, I always tried, like there's no receipts on me saying bad things about everyday Muslims, like my heart is not there, but I continue to stand against, in a way that I did against, Asian violence. The war in Syria, you know, brutalizing black people in the streets. I always stand up for these things.

And so what I think has been particularly hurtful about this is that you, we turned around this last year and the people that you thought were with you weren't. So I felt it important on that day to just say something versus just reposting a yellow ribbon or something like that, to kind of draw a line in the sandwich, I knew it would cost me fans,

but I do think you also gain people who understand an intelligent argument. That's an interesting calculus. That was a long answer. No, it's an interesting calculus though to know that it's going to cost you fans, right? Because some of the decisions that I've made and I won't bore you with the long answer of that.

Please. No, the audience. What's the most recent one? We just left ESPN. You've told me that Noah, your husband is a big sports fan. We left four years ago ESPN just because I sort of knew that we needed to talk about some of the things that are happening in a divided America because I've always been somebody who, because my parents are exiles, it's important to me to just not sit out some stuff because it's a company policy that in sports, we don't need this here.

Certainly you're running into this with other comedians who just, they wanna keep the tickets coming in and they can separate. Like some of them do delve into politics, but many of them are scared of how much the footing has changed and they don't know what they they cease to know where some of the lines are the best comedians like sort of dancing around that and and the degree of difficulty of it but to make the conscious choice of losing customers because you're you're so

Impassioned and angry about something. A lot of people don't do that. Don't cost themselves that. They can separate business from this stuff. Yeah, I mean, I will say, you know, when you come to see me, there's zero politics. You know, it's a social, I mean, you know how I think about pro-choice and things like that,

but it's a very, it's a raucous fun in your face hour. We don't talk about politics. I don't even take jabs at Trump. Like that's all left at the door. And I have a lot of everything from liberal to conservative, trans, gay, like everything. They just come in because they've been coming to me for so long for comedy.

So it's not, you know, it's not new that we find out that I'm Jewish. It's not new that it turns out a human being doesn't feel that they should be murdered for their religion. So none of the things that I'm saying are particularly revelatory. And I just, from my soul, you know, I didn't change the world. I didn't do anything. And I try to engage in an intellectual way. And I try to be specific versus just constantly participating in every campaign and bleeding for every cause

because I think smart people find you, but it is scary. A, in this economy, because across the board, with the exception of like a handful of like major acts and people like Taylor Swift, everybody that performs has seen like a little dip in ticket sales, just economy wise and just people, you know, at the same time, people are consuming art

in a way that they never have, but there's so much, I can't compete with Taylor Swift, you know? And so, I don't know, I guess in the moment I felt, you get these moments where you feel emboldened and then you do it and then you're like, okay, I'll just sit this out for a little bit. Needed to get this out.

Needed to get this out, like if you wanna scream and especially as a woman you're afraid if you scream too loud, you will be called crazy. We all know what happens when a woman in show business gets called crazy. The phone doesn't ring. And so it is a measured scream. But it's also a measured calculus you're doing

on this will cost me customers. I know this is important enough to me to cost me customers. Yes, I can't say that, like the, for the tickets we don't sell, I can't equate it necessarily with that. I can equate it with followers. I can watch the thing dip, but it always goes back up because at the end of the day,

the things that I'm saying are bulletproof. You know, it isn't, I'm not up there saying hurtful things about people. Like I'm actually giving facts. And so I always try to err on the side of like having a clear head. And I actually do it because some people out there are too afraid to say anything. And I think if you see someone like me doing it, perhaps it emboldens you a little, just a little bit more, whoever you are, to realize like, no, freedom of speech goes both ways.

Like you can say the thing you need to say, and if enough of us do, then maybe it won't be so scary. But I by no means wanna lead this charge. I don't wanna be a figurehead. I would, you know. You wanna make people laugh. You want people to have a good time around to enjoy your company.

That's what I want. But for the other 23 hours a day when I'm not on that stage for an hour, I'm a human being and I have children and I have a religion. It's not even that I am so passionate about being Jewish. I ate on Yom Kippur and I don't care who knows that. I ate a lot of shrimp and I drove to the desert

and I did my hour at a casino. Like I know we're supposed to say sorry on that day, but I feel like a lot of people owed me apologies. But it's my culture and you can't stand for people mercilessly hurting people. Like it's insane. It's not a controversial stance. Is your work your most confident place? What are the other options?

Everything else in life, right? I read one thing that you said, and I don't know if you ravage yourself here, but about having crippling anxiety around some things with motherhood and saying, and this might just be a tribute to your husband saying that your husband is a better father than you are a mother. And I just don't know if you've had success for 20 years in this thing, which is very difficult and you didn't have a lot of struggle to get to the success. I would imagine your confidence there is bulletproof because of how much craftsmanship is involved in what it is that you do, how much the writing has to be tight, how you

know, like when you're doing your act, you know where to leave the pauses for laughter because you know the laughter will be there for you. Well, there was struggle. I definitely have to put that out there. Netflix didn't exist for a very long time. So that was a lot of me and my suitcase and my duffel bag of t-shirts schlepping from, you know, giggle hut to giggle hut. Forgive me. I should have said it didn't seem like there was much doubt, not struggle. Oh, okay, fair. I was like, let me tell you the story of me using a square to sell six

t-shirts. I think the anxiety is less about my ability as a mother, because you know, you have a baby, you're just like, I don't wanna do it. But it's more about the world that she's in and just, you know, is she gonna die? Is that, am I gonna die? And all mothers do this. I don't know if fathers do this in the same way,

but like you sit there and you think you like, fantasize isn't the world. So like anti-fantasy, nightmare about like, and if I die and then she's in my arms and then she has to get home, does she know her address? Like it's so dark, these intrusive thoughts, you know, I check on her every night. My husband's like, let her go to sleep.

I'm like, I need to make sure she's breathing. Because that's the most important thing in the world. And like, even as I'm saying this, I'm like, I also have a son. I was like, oh my God, you're here too. But he's seven months old. He's just like a big round pumpkin. But he probably needs you even more, I think. He also needs our nanny, who is with him all the time.

I'm not even gonna pretend she's not there. But he has her. And so I just wanna make sure that her little life is as perfect as possible for as long as I can control that You know, mm-hmm. And so that's the anxiety about this her safety and the world and it's terrifying and so you have to just change the channel because chances are Like your roof is not gonna get ripped off and a dragon's going to come in and eat you both.

You know, it might be a hurricane, but not a dragon. But it is your most confident place, no? Stand up. Yes. I guess so. I mean, yeah. I mean, I like being funny. I enjoy the humbling lesson when I'm on set

with actors who are better than I because it's like a masterclass. So I enjoy that, you know, but I know when the camera's on that I can do that, but probably not as well as other actors, but I enjoy acting and I've gotten some decent roles because of it. Probably stand up and I'm pretty confident

that I am a good mother. I say my husband's a better father than I am mother because he's the one that's like She needs to have her nap now and we need to get home so she can eat and I'm like she need in the car She can run alongside the car Like where there's a big role reversal there So I interrupted you on the struggle though. Tell me about tell me about selling six t-shirts on Tell me about selling six t-shirts on the square. I mean, I sound so old being like before Netflix, like before Instagram, but like that was a young girl

playing at like a guy's game, just kind of going into these markets. And it is difficult, I will say, to look at a career that was so hard won. What took me years to build, people are building in like a couple of weeks now. So there's no bitterness about it, and there's lessons that I've learned

that can't be replaced by getting something instantly. But you know, starting to tour as a comic and having no one else to talk to about it, because I didn't know any other big headliners and just sort of cobbling it together and making it up. There was no Uber, you know, so it's like you can go to this mall

or you can walk across this field alone to get to like an Annie Anne's pretzels and just sort of, it was just me and my dog and it's kind of like lonely, you know, and you come home and you're trying to like have a semblance of a dating life and just kind of, it was just me and my dog, and it's kind of like lonely, you know? And you come home and you're trying to like have a semblance of a dating life, and just kind of building it, and then, it's just, that's just what it was.

And so, yeah. It doesn't strike me as kind of lonely. There's the stage, there's the lights, there's the fulfillment of the performance, and then the green room is kind of sad, and the bar is kind of sad and the hotel near the Bar can be kind of sad in the in the grind of it, right? Yeah, I don't think that's where you're living now

Although there might be the echoes of it even somewhere because you have oh there are echoes when you're yeah when you're touring There are gonna be some places that you're going to and the the carpeting is still there from the 1980s in the hotel You're walking into. Oh, it's happened recently. And that's part of show business. Like even Beyonce comes in through the back, you know? But I did a gig recently for a wonderful charity, but I walk in and like, I think they saw my,

actually no, I knew the green room was gonna be shitty. And I walk in and I see it. I didn't say anything and they go, just so you know, this is the same green room we use for Seinfeld and Sebastian. And I was like, yeah, we knew this was gonna look like this. Very few venues have like nice green rooms.

Even like a stadium, even an arena, like it's just a room where usually basketball players sit when they're doing press, like it's not gilded. So yeah, there's always those things, or you know, when you're traveling alone and you're just like a, you're just a passenger, you know, on a rail or on a plane, and there are parts of it that are unglamorous,

and I always think, I'm like, is someone else doing this in a more glamorous way? And so you're always just trying to make it a little bit nicer for yourself, but it is, it can be gritty, or you wanna play a market, and the only venue is like not great, so you get in there and you deal with it, but the audience always makes it is it can be gritty or you want to play a market and the only venue is like not great So you get in there and you deal with it, but the audience always makes it worth it Even if you took a crappy uber because there was nothing else

I'm just there are gonna be dips where you don't feel so hot but At the end of the day the audience is there for you They went out of their way to be there and the check clears Is there a better place for you than the lights in the stage? Than the hour where you get to display to everyone, here's the vulnerability of what it is I've learned over the last 20 years and the meritocracy of the laughter will tell me whether it is what I already know that I'm funny, that this is funny.

A better place is in my daughter's bedroom. That was my North Star was standup and I love it. And I love everything about comedy and doing all that. Actually, I take that back. I hate everything about this industry except for when I get to do my art. And it's hard and standup's great because you don't have to ask anyone if you can do it.

TV show, the deals take forever. Movies take a long time to put together as I am trudging through that right now. But now, I didn't think I'd ever be like this, but I'm like, I just gotta get home. I throw myself on that 6 a.m. flight every single time because I'd rather be tired hanging out with her than well-rested coming home later.

I've read that you miss the kids a lot when you're away. You have kids. I do not have kids. Oh, you give like a dad vibe. People do say that, people do say that. This whole time I was like, he knows all this. He has like three sons. No, actually I'm fascinated by it though

because I don't know how it is. Parents are always talking about how altering it is and I'm always interested in how much it changes you and how much you didn't know back when you thought you knew a lot more than you did. Yeah, and I say struggle with that isn't so much the word as much as I am in total shock and awe how chemically different my brain is now.

And it's very scary. And I do talk about it in my new hour, the phenomenon that we all call mom brain. And the truth is your mom sounds like an idiot because her brain literally shrinks. It shrinks after you have a baby. And it shrinks for a good reason. And it's to make room for the part of your brain

that does know how to reflexively care for a child. But the chasms of lack of information, the dark spots in my mind, I'm like, I met this person, like who is that? You know that person? It's scary, because you're like, is this Alzheimer's? Like is this what dementia feels like? But it's good, because you have to shift everything

to make room for this thing that is bigger than you, which is two children, not just the daughter. You keep doing it. We have two. We have two. Um. And uh, and so I'm just sort of like giving myself over to like, yeah,

I'm gonna not remember things. And it's scary as a comic, it's scary as someone coming to a podcast, cause like if it were you, me, and three other guys and we're all joking like I cannot sit here and just be like I was gonna say that but then I watch this video of a bunny. Like you need to be sharp. And I was talking to another performer about this recently and I'm blanking on who it was of course but I but I was just like,

like, or maybe I didn't like that person. No, I just refuse to be unfulfilled as an artist. And so I will raise my children, carve out the time, and do this career, like full throttle. And people always ask how you do it, and the answer is you just have to be a little tired. I would imagine. Well, also, I think I can say this without being an absolutist, although there are going

to be some generalizations in it. In order to chase a career where you are at a microphone alone with your talent, there's a certain narcissism and singular focus in order to get there that doesn't serve you very much with helping raise a child and coming home from the hospital without a handbook on how you're supposed to do all of that while also making sure that you don't die to yourself where creative fulfillment resides

because you don't wanna just be one or the other, especially if you've spent 20 years. Building it. While taking care of this other baby, the other baby that you thought was for 20 years the most important baby. This ungrateful large baby. That you hate everything about except for the one hour

when the people are laughing. That I'm nursing it. Yeah, the tough thing about speaking about motherhood is that when you are a woman with an absolute opinion, you will turn around and all the women you thought were behind you are like, actually, that's not how I do it. Like, and I know it's like, oh, who cares? But you are sort of, you have to withstand the slings

and arrows of other people's opinions and people taking what your choices are as an indictment on their choices. And so I just always try to be as transparent as possible. Like I came home from the hospital and I handed my newborn daughter to Myrna, the Jamaican woman who I hired to live with us because I need to sleep because I also during the day

have other jobs that I have to do, like finishing a draft of something, doing punch-up on a major motion picture, writing. Like I do other things. And it just was never in my plan that I wasn't gonna have that. So even in saying that, you get the people that are like, oh nice, like you have help.

And it's like, yeah, but I pay for this. This isn't like family money. This isn't like a favor. Like this is money that I like scraped out of nothingness from creating comedy and I use it for that. I don't own a gigantic mansion. I use my money for things like to make my life easier. And so.

I thought Dion Sanders did own a couple of gigantic mansions. Yo, Primetime 21 Gates, I live, I am from Dallas and I would like pass those gates. It's funny, no, his house and naming all the kids, Dion, Deondra, like it is a real celebration of self going on over there. It's a celebration of self.

It's a very white woman thing to do. It's a celebration of self. But, and it's so it's, you know, it's, the answer is you just do whatever you can do, but. You feel the judgment of others though on, and there's some, there's supposed to be some shame in needing help with this so that you can have a well-rounded life that isn't just being a mother.

See, it's not even, it's not even judgment. And you actually, in the interview you did with Bill Lawrence, you talked about how most people, you know, in your perfect world, the job that you have also makes you happy and you make money out of it. But you were talking about your father who was like, I don't have a passion for selling office equipment, but it feeds all my other passions. I have an uncle who's like that.

I think my dad was like that for a while. He's alive, but like to an extent. And you talked about how a lot of people are like just slogging through life. And of course these podcasts help them. But I do think a lot of people are miserable. And so the only time that they feel heard or feel that they can say something that might contribute to this word cloud of the internet

is in the comment section. And so I don't even know if the intention is to hurt, but I think people feel assaulted by by when people posit something. And so I try not to address it because, especially as women, we tend to do a lot of padding of our arguments. Like, I can't just be like, I love drinking ice cold water.

I'd be like, and that's not to say, hot water doesn't have its virtues, because someone's gonna be like, you don't like hot water, what? You don't like that on Earth. More so now than ever, yes. And it just, and women have to deal with a little bit more and the answer is don't read the comments,

but that sort of bickering bogs you down. So I unequivocally will say, I choose to spend my money on a nanny and that enables me to be a little less tired and accomplish the things I want. But it doesn't take away from just how gut wrenching it is to be away from my daughter and how much and son, how much time I want to spend with them. But that's the answer is that most people you think are doing it all have help, even if they don't admit it. But that's the answer is that most people you think are doing it all have help, even if they don't admit it.

There is bravery in you deciding for whatever the reasons you decided to talk about the mental health struggles that came with, I don't know, feeling a bit overwhelmed by motherhood. It's postpartum depression and nobody who doesn't have it. This is just for women because I don't know if men get this but you're like that's not that's for people that have like chemical issues and it was I just I actually can't even speak to it because I don't really remember it. I just remember I felt really bad and everybody's feels bad for a different reason. You know I can't

say it's the healthiest thing to be one day out of having your baby and withstanding criticism for merely being Jewish in the world. Like I finally had a therapist that was like, hey, that's a lot. Like you shouldn't be answering and arguing with these people while you're like breastfeeding a baby. But because I'm the kind of person that's always taken on so many projects at once, and I really believe like I can,

like if I had the world on my shoulders, I wouldn't shrug it off. So that's just been a sort of a recalibration of like how tough I need to show up in the world. And the answer is I don't. You can like take breaks. But that postpartum depression really, it'll get you. And however, I mean, I't want to take any drugs it's not

to say that if you take drugs it's a bad thing I guess I didn't want it I didn't do it and I got through it you know the farther away you know some people don't but I did you're talking about hormonal I'm not gonna pretend to understand this but I don't understand but you're talking about something that has nothing to do with choices you're making or being overwhelmed by anything other than you just, you feel bad. You feel bad in a way that I'm not familiar with,

like in a depressed way. And I remember calling some of my friends that I know actually struggle with depression and I was like, I just friends that I know actually struggle with depression and I was like, I just wanna let you know. I always thought you were just kind of being a bitch. No, I was like, I just wanna let you know. Like, I feel so bad right now

and if this is how you feel all the time, I'm so sorry. Because you can't like think your way out of it. Like it actually hurts your body and you can't always talk to everyone about it. And I have a very loving husband who knows what depression feels like. And so, but I'm like, yeah, this isn't normal. We're just having coffee and I'm just crying.

And that's part of the hormonal shift of just, you had a baby, it's gone now, but I don't know. There's just like, it's just a, having a baby, like just motherhood in general is something that is so attacked and women get maligned for if they do or if they don't. And then you gotta spend your whole life defending why you didn't.

These are such sacred, personal topics and choices and they're just fodder for people to just rip apart. And so now that I've done this twice and I see how vulnerable it is and deeply sacred it is, it's actually given me this very clear understanding that whatever I do is great because it's the most I could do. And that actually extends to any other parent, mother or father, whatever you're doing,

short of feeding your kid cigarettes, like is great, is enough. I don't have the bandwidth to criticize or care, like from a very deep place. I'm just like, you probably, you don't make the same choices I do and I would not feed that to my kid, but you're doing the best with what you have, you know?

And I think that's for all humans. Like we're all just like, for the most part, probably trying're doing the best with what you have. And I think that's for all humans. We're all just like, for the most part, probably trying to do the best we can. When, and I don't wanna be too invasive here, when I ask you about the crippling anxiety, what it is that it looked like, what it is that it felt like, and what tools you could give to others

to help them overcome whatever it is that you were dealing with there if you felt like you were able to learn anything in there. Well, I guess, I can talk about crippling anxiety. I don't have it, it's a new thing to me. And I wonder if having kids also makes you feel like a little bit like you don't have your armor on.

I know we're all supposed to be like super mamas. But like even this podcast today, when I got when I got the the ask to come on it, I saw that you were a sports person and having nothing to do with you. My mind went to all the so please don't take offense to this, all the horrible press I had to do for sports radio stations in local markets. I'm so sorry. Or just regular radio with guys, and this is in my 20s, so this is like last year.

But thinking, having to sit there and act like I cared about the Baltimore Ravens. All I'm trying to do is sell tickets for you to come see me at the chuckle biscuit. Having to sit there and pretend that I care about this basketball, you know? And then if you say you don't, it's like, well, she's a bit like just. Oh wow, okay. And all you're trying to do is like

be a little funny on a commercial. Right, right. And I was like, oh my God, like I don't, I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna sit there and pretend. And then I listened to the podcast and I was like, okay. Oh, he's gonna ask me. Oh, it's a normal thing.

He's gonna ask me about the stuff, just crippling anxiety, that'll be fine, that'll be fine. But I was just like, oh God, now what? And if I give it back to him, now it's an issue. Like I've had interviews, like guys walk out because they didn't like that I was just like, what's wrong with you or something. And so I just, but like even to listen to the,

like there's just so many layers to it. Like even to bring myself to listen, to make sure like, I'm trying to like pull back things to be like, there's nothing to be afraid of there. And your team's not going to set you up with like an all basketball analysis, like post games. Yeah, tell me about the front court of the Phoenix Suns. They aren't as great as you thought they'd be.

I don't know. Devin Booker is a star. I have to watch a lot of Suns with my husband. So I do know who Devin Booker is. Sports radio is awful, just so that you know, and it's been awful for the entirety of the existence of sports radio. So I'm sorry, and I will tell the folks,

the get ready tour, you can get your tickets at Eliza.com because that is why it is that you are here. But I'm sorry that you have to feel like you have to fake your way through some sort of sports knowledge to make men and it's always men feel slightly more comfortable about promoting your work. Well, I appreciate that. I mean, this was also, you had no choice.

Like this is a million years ago, like doing a club. They're like, this is the radio station, you gotta go do it. And I'm like, can we talk about like dicks or just something else that we could like actually make jokes about? And so part of getting older is also, is also, you know, yes, it would be great to do

this podcast or this influencers collab, but you're like, but I don't wanna talk about those things. And that goes for men and women. Like, no, I don't wanna talk about something that's inauthentic, you know, and you have to make these choices. And you just hope that at the end of the day, as an artist, you've created a brand that's specific

versus like, I'll just do anything at any time, which also is a brand, it's just not my brand, you know? So when I ask you about what you learned in terms of tools, is it that parents are doing the best they can? Or how did you feel like, you got to the other side of something. Well, the answer that I'm not giving you,

because it's not that it's personal, but it's just kinda like nobody wants to hear about a woman breastfeeding, but I'll just tell you because I feel so close to you. Because I give off that dad vibe. Because you have a good dad vibe. The dad vibe. It's not that you're not an attractive man,

but I just want you to know, like I did think you were. As a dad. As a dad. It's not a dad body. Thank you. I feel much better about everything you're doing right now. Thank you. I had a bad chemical response to breastfeeding my son,

and it got to the point where, I had a little bit with my daughter, but I didn't have anything to compare it to, so I was like, well, this is just supposed to be a little weird. I couldn't have a conversation. Like I'm pretty decent at having conversations and talking.

I couldn't talk if I was pumping. I didn't really breastfeed him because honestly it's boring. It takes a lot of time and it's boring. So I would pump and I would get so anxious. Any thought that came through my head, I would hate it. And I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink while I did it. And this is, I asked a doctor and this is a condition.

It's called like, I mean, everything's a condition. Lactation dysphoria, something. But here I am, if several times a day, feeling the type of anxiety you feel after, you know, someone's told you you're the biggest piece of shit in the world or something, or after you've gotten fired, or you've got to fire someone, and I'd have to sit there and be like, no, you don't hate that person or that TV show,

you just have to finish this session. And I was like, well, that's gotta be, I intellectualize it, and I was like, that's gotta be a chemical shift, right? And if you're doing that several times a day, it's gonna have not so much a long-term effect, but it's gonna have an effect on the stasis of your mental chemistry. If you're always dreading the next thing,

it's right around the corner and it's required and it's something the child needs to. Yeah. I mean, what you're describing sounds horrible and I don't know that giving it a name or diagnosis is going to do anything in the way of soothing like other things that, oh, I finally have a name. Well, let's you know you're not crazy because if I was the only one, I'd be like, well, then obviously I'm terrible.

It would be like if every time you had to take a shit, you were scared, which you may be, if like your GI isn't, if you don't get enough fiber, and then the whole time you were doing it instead of relief, which most mothers feel, you were just like, I hate myself, I'm in so much pain. You know how you poop eight times a day. You just described that very well for all of sports radio. For my audience, for my caveman demo, you did a great job.

Imagine if every time you had to take a shit, just crippling anxiety. The whole time, performance anxiety, just everything. Feel free to use that as the trailer for your show. That's how we're gonna sell this episode. Breastfeeding and crippling anxiety when taking a shit. Did they say breast? And so I just, I stopped.

Like you have these dreams of like, I'll do it for six months and it's gonna be great. I stopped. And I was like, you know what else is good for this baby? Like nice German baby formula. And I didn't feel bad about it. And I was so excited to be done. And that is what kind of made it

a little bit better for me. And so here you are doing something that you want to do that is good for the baby, should be good for you, and it's hurting you. And so I just stopped and I didn't feel bad about it at all. That's good that you didn't feel bad about it, but it seems like it would have felt pretty terrible for you to just sense, just have relief about it

if it was something that at one point, that you felt like you should be doing for the health of the baby for you to just have relief about it if it was something that at one point that you felt like you should be doing for the health of the baby and that you're not judging yourself because you know this feels bad enough that I need to stop doing this. I just don't think that there,

aside from actually giving birth which is super painful, I just don't think that there are a lot of things in life that should be so painful but are actually like great. Like you talk about like recovery and stuff, those things are painful but it gets to a good outcome. This was not getting me to a better place. And it didn't matter for the baby. And so I do think there is this pressure

that I refuse to subject myself to with mothers where like there's no award for who breastfed best. There's no award for who cut the, made the kids perfect lunch the most or for who tortured themselves the most. Nobody cares. Well, I don't know the science of this and I don't know how spiritual you are,

but I cannot imagine that it is good in the formative years of a baby to be attached to a mother who has a crippling anxiety and is hating everything while she's breastfeeding, if you believe in any of energy's connections. So I was pumping, so at least he wasn't there, but vibrationally, that can't be a good thing. It can't be this little kid,

it's his first few months on this planet, and I'm just like weird. So, and I do believe that, and you're not wrong, even growing up in a house, you know, if you're always hearing your parents argue, or if mommy's always stressed, you know, even if you love your kids so much, they absorb that. As I learned yesterday when my daughter yelled,

fuck you, not to me, just in the car to no one, and I had to do everything to just say nothing so she wouldn't know that that was a bad thing, and I was just like, where did you? And I'm like, I know you got it for me, but I didn't think you were listening, but it turns out you were. Your parents were hugely supportive, correct?

Like I don't know what a parent could give a child necessarily that's better than that. Money. Would have been great. They were supportive in a way that made you think that this was a career that could be chased because you do understand that you were chasing something that the odds of success are very small on. Didn't know that. Didn't think about that,

but that's being in your 20s, right? And by the way, that also keeps me going when the career doesn't feel great. Because the money is great, you can make so much money, but getting to do it is the reward. Yeah, my parents, I just, I remember specifically with my mom, my parents are divorced and they're both very supportive and funny people,

but I graduated college and I got an office job because that's what I had a degree. I got an office job, I was a horrible assistant, whatever. My bosses were so cool. And I remember when I told my boss I had been asked to do a military tour in Central America, and so he gave me the time off to go do that. Was that Singapore? I may have been Singapore. There's been more than one. And I came home and I had cobbled together enough act and I was writing stuff for people as well. And this was at the beginning when the internet was first starting to not so much monetize, but have content, like comedy content. And I was writing stuff for people as well. And this was at the beginning when the internet was first starting to not so much monetize,

but have content, like comedy content. And I was writing for people and news shows. Like I was, and I told my boss I was leaving and I called my mom and I said, I'm gonna quit my job to do comedy full-time. I need to borrow $1,500 so I can buy a laptop. And she did, and I paid her back. But there was never like, are you sure you shouldn't?

She was like, okay. And this wasn't as if like I had this body of work to prove it, she just, okay. Because maybe she knew it wasn't for her to say or she always thought it was funny. My parents come to my shows, my mom's gonna come with me this week. I've got Charlotte Charleston and Durham,

so I invited her. When I play Dallas, I play Texas, my dad comes, my fans know who my parents are. I think I'm just doing something that they, I think when you're a baby boomer, you didn't necessarily always have the luxury of getting to do the thing that you were passionate about. And so I think it gives them great pleasure

to see that I get to do that. Do you, when you say that you hate everything about the business except the hour, because you're calling it the greatest job in the world, that hour is doing a lot of lifting for all of the things that get you to the fulfillment of it. Right, that's a very good point. When you hate everything around it, what are the first things that get you to the fulfillment of it. That's a very good point. When you hate everything around it, what are the first things that are coming to mind on, because I struggle with process sometimes.

The thing that I do that gives me the most fulfillment is writing, or having written, I should say. Having finished it, so not the actual writing. Having finished it and knowing that it's good, I would love to get to a place where I enjoy the process. So you don't like pumping breast milk, but knowing that you've given the baby the breast milk makes you feel good.

That's right, that's right. I getcha. Yeah, the nourishment afterward of getting the love. I don't know what feels better for you, just laughter or knowing that it's good, right? Because once I would imagine, maybe I'm wrong about this, but I would imagine someone as good as you are at comedy, that you know when it's good, right? Because once I would imagine, maybe I'm wrong about this, but I would imagine someone as good as you are at comedy that you know when it's good. Like when you've

written something and you've nailed it, you have enough experience, expertise on what your craftsmanship is that you're like, yeah, this is good. Unbeknownst to you, what you're asking is actually an incredibly complex question for me because I have strived in my career for so long to get, to be creatively fulfilled in other ways. Multiple failed pilots, just for anyone listening, multiple failed pilots at things written, so many auditions for so many things that you've heard of that I was like this, things written, so many auditions for so many things that you've heard of that I was like this, you know, just living in failure.

That it's not that it doesn't define me, but it does inform a little bit of a perspective. And so, because I have the standup and there's failure within that, there's not getting X, Y, and Z, there's not getting to a certain tier, there's, you're forever climbing, forever failing. When I didn't get the things that I was hoping for,

you know, when you, at the buzzer, you get the call at 10 o'clock at night, like we're not going with your pilot, you know, and it was about you and it rips your heart out. Not so much anymore, it happens enough that I'm like, okay, whatever, oh, you've rejected everything about me, that's fine. Um, you always have, I always have the work. And so I think that I've placed,

and I think I maybe should work on this now, I've placed so much in the work, the hustle, the grind, doing multiple spots because that's what was bearing fruit. I can't, you know, you can take an acting class, but like once you've done the audition, like there's not much you can do. And I can work with better writers and I can always try to be a better writer,

but I could always turn to the standup, to knowing that if I build that machine, like if I Frankenstein that together, that is what gets you to the next level. Like that's what's taken me the farthest. If I just did acting, I'd be a girl who was in like three things. And the actual writing I do enjoy, like a screenplay.

I like, there's a safety and a comfort for me in being in the document. So when you, when the network only gives you one season and it gets canceled and it was nothing to do with you or your sketch show doesn't get renewed or at the buzzer, they don't go with you over someone else or they're not making a second franchise out of the movie you were in, you can turn to the document.

Knowing that if I, hopefully if I put work into this screenplay, then that's another thing that I can work at. So it's like digesting the failure and processing it as motivation. Not in a like motivation Mondays, like let's get this money, like thick jewelry and posters of lions.

But like in a doing something, doing what you can with what you have where you are, which is not my quote, I think it's Teddy Roosevelt. That's good, that's good. But that's all you can do. Because I think a lot of people don't and they go to the bar or they hang out the club and they complain and I'm like,

you could have been in a final draft document creating something else. All your favorite things on TV are because somebody spent time in the document. And so not all your documents are gonna live to see the light. But what you're describing to me feels super discouraging. I'm a bit risk averse. To take your art to pour yourself into a screenplay, which is gonna take a substantive investment

from you, and then take it and put that vulnerability in front of others and then have it rejected when you had an enormous amount of expectations because I don't imagine you've gotten a whole lot better of, oh, I feel this is good. This has a chance. And now you put your expectations up here and now you're living inside the disappointment of like, oh, you've rejected everything I am. Yeah. So the good news is about that whole process is it doesn't get easier, but you do get a little bit better at not hurting from it.

It's not to say that you go numb, but when you, I think it was from Hacks, she said I eat rejection for breakfast, but like when you are rejected as much as, and I'm saying I am, but like I'm sure it's just for any person who's creative. When I've had this many at bats, fellas,

and to not, you know, at least get to first base, or you do, and just to not knock it out of the park. I guess I kinda, I'm like, I've been here before, and it's a good thing that I have these other three things because I know you're gonna make the wrong choice and not pick this up and what you're gonna pick up instead will get canceled but then you'll lose your job

and this was all just a dumb dance. And so I really believe and I always have, I have note cards on my wall of all the projects we have, like a whole slate and where they each are. And every time I feel powerless or tired, I look at that wall and I'm like, well, how can I, I have different colors for different things, I'm like,

how do we get to that next color? And a lot of it is self-motivation. And nobody has to give you permission. It sounds like it's not numb, it sounds a bit callous, the way like a mixed martial artist will keep kicking a tree until his shin gets harder and harder. And he just gets better at the mixed martial arts. I've watched those Muay Thai videos on Instagram.

Part of the reason I had to take it off my phone. It's like, why am I watching that? Yeah, you just get better at withstanding the absolute kick to the teeth. That is the entire, that is a rejection of you based on nothing about you other than that executive just couldn't pick up that show or they were gonna lose their job or something

or they didn't like it. I find that hard to believe. That can't be it. That can't be it. And it's just constant and there's just so much being created and so you're like, oh my God, there's so much going on if I could just grab one of those, if I could just get that, but it is,

it's just a long process. And so I just believe in always having something that you can look forward to, that you can be optimistic about. And that is the little, we're watching WALL-E right now at my house. And I think about the little plant that grows on the like dead planet that was earth.

You can always, there's always some little sprig of something reaching for the sun. And I guess the good news about when you have something that gets rejected, chances are you worked at it for so long and your heart was in it, but by the time it's at the end where it's with the executive or whatever, your heart's already being poured into something else. So it would have hurt to get it rejected at the beginning

when it was my brand new baby, but now it's like a gnarly teenager and I'm like, whatever. We appreciate the honesty, the vulnerability. I will tell you again, the Get Ready Tour, Eliza.com is where you go. A lovely time spent with you, although I do worry about the scarring on your son based on how often he was.

My son? He'll never, we won't let him listen to this, how about that? You thought she wasn't listening when she said, fuck you in the back of the car. And it seems like you've overlooked some things. Thank you for the time. Thank you, thanks Dan. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"]

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