The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - South Beach Sessions - Tig Notaro

Episode Date: March 5, 2026

Tig Notaro had the worst month of her life. Then, she had her big break because of it. Tig has always been a wild child, from growing up with a free spirit of a mother, to repeating eighth grade (twice) before dropping out of school entirely, to performing half her stand-up set with her shirt off after having a double mastectomy. With Dan Le Batard, Tig explores where her own “go to hell” energy comes from. Tig also speaks about being an Oscar-nominated producer for her work on “Come See Me In The Good Light,” a documentary following the death of her friend and poet, Andrea Gibson. She also looks at why, despite being a ridiculously funny comedian, some of her greatest successes also deal with deep grief. See Tig live on tour - go to TigNation.com for dates and tickets, and subscribe to the "Handsome" podcast, hosted by Tig and fellow comedians Fortune Feimster and Mae Martin. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Draft Kings Network. I'm very excited to do this. It seems to me like you're in full blossom. So I'm going to introduce you to the audience and tell you, tignation.com is where you get tickets, tour date, saw her in Fort Lauderdale. It was a lovely show. She's back on stand-up comedy.

It's nice to see you there again. Actor, comedian, best-selling author, producer, director. Which of those do you like best? like the sound of best, not doing. Podcasting. Oh, wow, handsome. Okay, so it's the intimacy of podcasting, or you're just trying to throw me off balance at the top?

Yeah. Well, I'm not interested in directing anymore. I really enjoy producing. Stand-up is like breathing, and I really do enjoy podcasting. But why are you not going to do directing anymore because all the problems come to you? Yeah.

I mean, I've directed a bunch of comedy specials, which I've enjoyed, whether it was my own or other comedians. But my wife and I, we co-directed a movie called, Am I Okay? Dakota Johnson and Sonoya Mizuno starred in it. And as soon as we got started working on this together, it was so clear my wife is a director, and I'm not. because anybody, yeah, if you're directing a movie, everybody is coming to you to ask the big and the small questions. So it's not just like, where do you want the camera set up? It's also like, hey, TIG, do you want a silver pen or a purple pen on the desk? And I would be just like, I wish I cared.

whereas Stephanie would be like, oh my gosh, it has to be silver because the character, and then there's a whole story behind it. So you didn't like being in charge? I'm not crazy about being in charge. It's like even collaborating with people. It's like I like doing things together, but I, yeah, I just wasn't into, I liked being on set, giving notes, getting a good performance. which I think we've really got. But just Stephanie down to like the clothing of each person, whereas I'm like, is everyone's, are your private parts covered?

Let's move on, you know. Right. I would imagine doing that with someone you love, collaborating on something she cares about that much, accentuating your differences, has its challenges. I don't know if that goes into you saying I will never do it again. Will she do it again? Oh, yeah.

She's very much a director. And we don't have challenges as far as working together and being creative. It was just, it was more so, I was like, oh, my gosh, this is really not my thing. Because directing a comedy special is so different than directing a feature film with a huge movie star. Yeah, you know, it's just a different world. So, but a comedy special, that's all yours, right? Like the gleam in your eye, you said the pop. podcast, and I imagine it's because it allows you to exercise some of the same things that stand-up allows you to exercise.

It's a freer form of working on your craft and how to cut things up and be funny, but stand-up was the one that got the gleam in your eye. Yeah, I mean, and also I've directed other people's stand-up specials, but a lot of directing is camera placement for stand-up specials, camera placement, and then largely when you're in the editing bay. And that's fun to me is finding the right camera angles and where to cut off and move on from each moment. Where does your creativity come from? I don't know. I feel like I have to be submerged in real life and in touch with so many different experiences. otherwise, I don't know. I mean, you see a lot of people,

I don't know if this is exactly what you're asking, but I think you see a lot of people that get a certain amount of success, and then they're not having a terribly normal. I mean, it's hard to have a normal life when you're a massive, massive star, but I just, I feel like real-life interactions, spark so much. So you were talking about the now, I was asking you more for the roots of it.

Like it would make sense that you would answer it now. You really, when I introduce you as blossoming right now, you must feel it creatively, no? Like in terms of the amount of different projects that you're spreading that creativity. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I've gone through different points in my career where I felt like a lot was going on or I had a lot of ideas that excited me in other times where it's like, okay, I need to kind of pull back and see what I'm really feeling because you can get into these modes of like, this is what I do. And then I write new material and then I go on tour and then, and it's like there was a beat after my last special that Stephanie directed and was nominated for an Emmy, where I felt like I think I need to take

a beat away from touring. And so I took like two and a half years off. And I wanted to return with a genuine, authentic excitement about being back. Do you go back into the past and take me to the roots of where the creativity starts? Like you dreamt of being in music. I think that as far as where the creativity comes from in my past, I mean, I was raised by the ultimate artistic mother. I mean, she was very comedic. She was. But what are you laughing at there?

You're laughing at something. Well, I'm just like my mother was, she was wild. She was an artist. She was a painter. She was the back of our house as her canvas. And she was very, yeah, funny. She was a prankster. She was all of these things.

She was wild. And it gave me a very different perspective. And she used to tell me to tell everyone to go to hell that had a problem with me. And I think that deep, just instilled message allowed me to be who I wanted to be and explore what I wanted to explore because she was an artist. And, but yeah, I was, I was, I, we were different in that she was a little, way more energy than I had. But I think I was kind of a reaction to her. She would be embarrassed by your deadpan.

She's more theatrical. She's more, she was more theatrical. And I was a little like, ugh, boy. but her sensibility has stuck with me. And but yeah, I just, I think it all kind of came from there. And it's funny, you know, I'm from Mississippi and people are always like, what is going on in the South? What's going on in Mississippi?

Everybody's got some crazy story to tell. Where does that come from? I'm like, I honestly don't know. I encourage you just to head down there. And I promise you will have a story when you return. Well, what was it like? So you're nine years old. What's what's the house? What's happening in the house? She was saying she's painting donkeys on the back of the house. Well, we lived in Mississippi and then Texas and then a couple of years in New Jersey. But what was it like in the house? Yeah. What was it like growing up as you when you're nine? Oh my gosh. This would turn into a therapy session.

session. My mother was also a bit of a partier. And so it was, it was not, it just, it was, it was kind of a fend for yourself in ways. It was a, my mother's really wild. So it gives me no real gauge of what is a normal life or like what a normal mother might. I remember her saying, sweetie, do you wish, like, I had cookies made for you when you got home? And I was like, I don't care. And, you know, but, I mean, there was some structure. Like, we'd have a bedtime. And I don't know.

Okay, let me be more specific to help you out here, okay? Because I wanted you to paint in the color for it. But the detail that I read was that she'd be so immersed in her work and what it was to be a wild child that it's three meals. at one time. And if you're in diapers, everyone's just getting hosed down. Yes, well, there's that. Yeah. But I didn't want to do that. I thought that there might be color around that, that would frame how it is you've become, who you've become. It's so much a part of who and where I came from that I sometimes forget to tell that story. But yeah, my mother would, my mother would set up me and my brother in high chairs and she would feed us all three meals at one time

and then hose us down in our diapers and then let us just run around and dry off. Did you not get raised that way? Sir. Oh, but having the go to hell in you at nine years old, I mean, I don't know. I don't know that a parent could instilled. I mean, maybe there are other things that a parent can is still stronger than belief in yourself, but if you have the strength, you've been telling everybody to go to hell since. Well, I mean, I'm not really, I don't actually tell people to go to hell. I'm not, that's not my personality, but I think that the go to hell vibe studies me and gives me a certain comfort and confidence in myself.

I'm certainly not a perfectly confident person. I have my own little glitches that Stephanie and I were actually talking about in the past couple of days, that sometimes I get deeply insecure around when there's certain power dynamics where I don't, I'm not quite sure how to navigate. But that's for my therapy, we decided. Oh, and your relationship. I don't know that there's a lot better inside of love than being able to share those things with somebody two days ago when you've been in a relationship for as long as you have and you're still learning about each other. That's pretty cool. And about myself. I mean. Well, they're mirrors, right? The people we love and they're being mirrors for it because it's a safe place for you to put there. You don't want everybody to see that. That's your most treasured dangerous stuff. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. And so that's, your relationship is lovely.

And when I say you've got a lot of go to hell in you, it's in your work, right? You're not telling anybody to go to hell, but you're being yourself no matter the cost. Yeah. Yeah. It's that, I guess that's what I meant is like, you know, the example of after having had cancer, I did an HBO special where half of it I did with my shirt off and it was just my double mastectomy scars. and I was so excited to reveal that once I came to terms with what my body looked like and realized, why would I be ashamed of my body when the scars were just evidence,

that was just evidence that my body healed? And so I was so excited to go out on stage, talk about ridiculous things, and not acknowledge that I took my shirt off. And that is kind of a go-to-heavit. Well, you moved my wife with that as a, as I imagine, you've moved many people with that. Can you take me through the decision-making process all of that? Because it's not like it's something it was brave, but it's not like something you've seen a lot of people do before. No, I hadn't seen anything. It came from a very natural place. And I didn't know if I was actually going to do it. But when I, when my surgery was lined up to have a double mastectomy, I would, I, I, I, I, became aware of my body in a way that I hadn't been before. And I started to realize like, oh, I like my body. I don't necessarily want it to change. And so I was really upset that I was

going to have this surgery and have these scars. And then when I came out of surgery and I was going home, I was with the actress and my dear friend Lake Bell. And I told her, I said, oh my gosh, I keep having these visions and thoughts of taking my shirt off on stage, and it makes me giddy. And she was like, oh, Tiggie, you got to do it. She was like, that is the best idea. And then as time went on, and I kept thinking about it, I thought, well, I already had my surgery months ago, because it took me a while to kind of get back into life after I was sick. And, and, And then once I was on stage, which was months after my surgery, even though I thought the window had closed, I realized it's always there. And I tried it out at a couple of venues. I tried it out at Largo in Los Angeles. And then I tried it out at, I think it's called Town Hall in New York City. And once I tried it a couple of times, I just thought, this.

this is so exhilarating because the people in the audience were stunned but then and I don't acknowledge it I just unbutton my shirt and take it off hang it on the mic stand and then talk about pressure before her time yeah I truly I did this before Bert and and so I thought I am making a statement, but I'm also a comedian, so I want it to be funny. And so the funny part to me was what I was talking about while my shirt was off, which is what the comedy community considers hacky bad material, which is airline material. And I was talking about just stupid, like, what if you're on a flight? And I don't even remember what I was talking about. And I just thought it would be a really fun juxtaposition to do something that.

bold while I was doing something so not respected. Right. And the audience, they went from shocked to, it was like I had a shirt on. They didn't even notice or care anymore. Like, I just did the rest of my show, never talking about my shirt being off. I have a number of questions about this. But where was the recall on the greatest of the exhilarations here? Is it coming on stage, off stage?

Is it one particular moment? the first one versus the last one? Well, I didn't go on stage with my shirt off. I did that halfway through. So for the first half hour, I'm just dressed like a normal comedian and I guess a gay comedian. But, and then I take my shirt off. And I think the exciting part was when it merges with my shirt is off. The crowd's going nuts.

And then I go into my airline material. And I was like, oh, this feels so good. It felt so good because you could feel the audience. They got it. Because to take my shirt off and hang it on the thing and then be like, I was on this flight and, you know, and then it just, it was such a rush. When Westchette first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere.

And two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when West Jet welcomes you on board. Here's to Westjetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Do you have anything else that compares to exactly that? And obviously laughter is laughter, and killing is killing. But do you have anything in the realm of that kind of exhilaration that you've had inside of a performance before? You know, when I, before that, before my surgery, I,

had done a show at Largo where I announced that I had cancer on stage. And it wasn't the same kind of exhilaration, but it was like a, oh my gosh, this is working, this is happening, because I knew I wanted to talk about all of the, you know, I had pneumonia and cancer and this intestinal disease called C-DIF that's very deadly. And my mother tripped and, hit her head and died and I went through a breakup and that was all in a four month period of time and I just thought I really don't know how I can go on stage and talk about going to the grocery store without acknowledging the hell I was going through and I had never done anything like that and and I just I pictured myself sitting down on the stool and

I just didn't know how to get into it. But when I was showering before the show, I had this thought that I could go on stage saying, hello, good evening, how's everyone doing? I have cancer. And delivering it in the way that you do when you say, hey, how's it going? Are there any birthdays tonight?

Anyone new to town? Or just trying to deliver it with just a lighthearted And when the audience came with me on that, and there's this moment in the album, because it's an actual album, this man was like, this is fucking incredible. And it, like, the crowd was like, and I was like, whoa, this is so beyond what I thought this show was going to be. I thought it was going to be a somber, awkward thing, and I'd disappear in the night and die. That album sold like crazy because you decided, bravely, to share your vulnerability with everybody. Yeah, I didn't see in the moment that it would ever be a popular thing to listen to. and I did not imagine I just I had I had I wasn't it's one of those weird things where you just have no way of knowing what just happened is going to become what it becomes and everybody was like tweeting about the people that were in the audience and other comedians on the show people were tweeting and blogging and

and when I woke up the next day it had gone viral and I was confused because I didn't really know viral wasn't as big as it is now so I didn't really know what went viral I did a show and then I went home and went to sleep like what went viral like there's no audio of it and it was just the idea of it that went viral and so um yes I don't remember what your question was You took us there, the vulnerability of sharing it with the audience, right? And that the album ends up doing well because you're connecting in a very human way. Yes, it's funny, but you're also doing something that, you know, I think it's fair to say as pioneering. There aren't a lot of people who get to change the form of comedy, right?

And there aren't a whole lot of people going out there and giving their cancer diagnosis as a way to be funny. And connecting with an audience, everyone is affected in some way by cancer, right? And so you're connecting there with just your public frailty. Well, the cancer, there's illness, there's also the loss of my mother, there's the loss of a love relationship, all sorts of things were going on. And I mean, people like Richard Pryor certainly had those kind of confessional sets that they did. And I think that people are doing it more now. It's, it's, mine was not, I wasn't like, it ended up being an album that got released, but it wasn't intended to be at all. I didn't go on stage intending to release it as an album.

Was all of that in any way medicine? Because you used the phrase, I think, come back to life that you were probably walking around haunted because of the assortment of things that you were grieving. It made me feel empowered when I felt. nothing else could possibly be yanked out from underneath me. I didn't have any, I thought I was cursed. I, and I don't believe in that kind of thing. I, I was very scared and vulnerable. I didn't have a girlfriend. I didn't have a mother to call. I didn't have my health. I didn't know if I was going to be able to make money. I didn't know if I was dying. I certainly had amazing friends around me, my brother, my aunt and cousin, people were very supportive and strangers. I mean,

but it was definitely empowering at a rock bottom moment. Have you listened to it since or recently? No. Sometimes when I do interviews, they'll lead in to a segment of a show with an audio clip and I have to take my headphones off. Not, people think, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sure that's hard for you to hear because it brings back bad memories, but it's not even that. It's that because I didn't intend for the world to hear it, it's so not worked out material. It's not your polished material. Yeah, it was like an open mic. So it's not the frailty of the announcement of the diagnosis. It's the frailty of that's not my best work.

Yeah. Look at you. Your body language is cool. You don't want that. That's not for the public. That's the stuff I work shop next to the bar kitchen. Yeah, I'm fine with it being out there. And people would say this is going to help a lot of people.

And I was like, because I didn't agree to release it right away. It took me maybe a month or so to think it through. Because I was like, that was, this is not for the public. Like, sure, I was on stage in front of a crowd, but no. That's what you do when you do an open mic. There's a crowd there. But is that going to be your album? Absolutely not.

And the fact that it became that, oh, my God, as soon as I hear my voice, I'm like, ooh, boy. It's funny for a number of reasons, but also it distinguishes sort of in front of everybody, the pride that you have in the craftsmanship. It sort of explains how it is that you are so good as a kind. because you're crawling around in your skin at the idea of it being imperfect. Like it's not like and and what it was was, you know, imperfectly perfect because you were being, you know, you were trying to be yourself trying to work through the, literally trying to

work through the paint. Well, yeah. And so many comedians, myself included, even after you work out your new material, you tour it around and then you record your album or your special. that comes out for public consumption and then you still have notes off. I mean, I know I do where I'm watching it going, oh, I should have, you're always tweaking and fine-tuning

and rewriting and moving things around. And so for me to just go on stage and do that show and then that be pressed into an album, it was, it was, I had to just make a decision. okay, for the greater good, I'll put it out. But I thought it was not going to be well received. In my mind, I thought, I feel like I know and nobody else can see that I need to go to a deserted island and be there for weeks until this blows over after all the bad reviews. And, you know, because I just, but again, I think that's what excites people is that it was so raw.

and it was so in the moment. And you're just imagining other people who care like you as comedians listening to it and being like, oh, but that's not sculpted correctly. Or even just a person listening, whether it's a comedian saying,

what's the big deal? Which plenty might have. And plenty of people that just heard it might have been like, what's a big deal? I don't argue with them. I'm like happy if it's helpful to somebody and then also, but that's not just that album, it's anything I do. It's like, if I'm not for you, I get it and you can go to hell. To hell with you, right. I wanted to go back there

because during your formative years in your youth, you're not doing well in school, right? School's not for you. No. Classic education's not for you because you're the daughter of a wild child and you like music and the arts are calling you then? Or? Yeah, I mean, I wanted to be in a band. My secret dream was to be a comedian, but I didn't know, I didn't really understand how you do that. Whereas music made more sense, like, okay, buy a guitar, practice, get a band together, write some songs and work it all out in a garage and send your tape to a record label. Whereas a comedy career, I was like, all I knew. was that I would turn on the TV and then it's like, please welcome Paula Poundstone. And that could be the first time the world sees Paula. But I didn't understand that,

and that's not now. Obviously, Paula and all these incredible comedians have audiences they've built over the years. But as a kid at home, I'm like, who is this Paula Poundstone? How did she walk on stage to a sold-out theater? I didn't know that they fill the theater with audiences and then tape a special. You know, it's like the audience is bust in and they don't know who Paula Pallelston.

You have no access to your dreams. Music seems like a more viable one because you can pick up a guitar. Yeah, that seemed like, oh, I get that. But I'm not a great guitar player or great drummer. I play a little bit of both. And but I do still dream of having a cover band with a bunch of 50-something-year-old friends. There's time yet. There's time for all sorts of creative explorations for you.

But you were saying so a secret comedian because there was no access to that dream. Like you're... Yeah. I didn't know who to... I was in Texas as a teenager and I was like so obsessed with stand-up comedy. And but I didn't know who to talk to. to find out how do I do, like, where do I go? What do I do?

I want to be a comedian. It just seemed like so far off as far as a dream, you know. It seemed like becoming an astronaut, going to the moon, or becoming president of the United States. Yet you figured out how to get there somehow. So how did you take the first step? Well, it was accidental. I have a group of childhood friends that had more focus in life and education and went to college, grad school. And I just followed them where they went and worked odd jobs.

How old are you at this point? When I started stand-up. Just this period when you're meeting the friends, right? Because you leave school in the ninth grade, right? Yeah, but I had failed eight. grade twice and then they moved me up to ninth grade so I wouldn't hurl myself off a building you know go to eighth grade three times no I did it twice failed it both times they moved me up to ninth I fail that and then I dropped out so I was essentially almost or exactly the age of when

you graduate so I I left school and just went with my friends at whenever they were in college and that's but I met them in elementary junior high school age and so they one of my friends went to college and grad school for film and TV and she wanted to move to Los Angeles so I went through a breakup right when they were moving out to L.A. and I was like, well, I guess I'll just throw my stuff in your truck and we'll go out there. Before we get to the jobs and what all that was when you were fighting for the life, if I go back to eighth grade now, what's happening at home that makes it okay to fail eighth grade twice and take a different path from traditional schooling? It wasn't okay for me to be failing. I think honestly my mother and my stepfather were just like, oh my God. Oh my God. They were just so just so just. exhausted by my inability to focus and get out of school on a legit path. And so I was, I remember I was,

I had, I don't know what I did, whether I was tardy a bunch or I was talking too much in class or whatever it was. I ended up in in school suspension. And so I'm just in a cubicle. There's other, like, you know, 10 other losers in school that are like in school suspension. And so I was given a day and in school suspension for something. And then they deliver your work that you're supposed to do for that day. They collect all the assignments from your different teachers and put them in your cubicle. And I was looking at it thinking, I don't know who they think's going to be doing this work. I don't even do it when I'm out of it. of in-school suspension. And I thought, well, I guess I'll just head out of here because they keep

adding days in-school suspension. Even if you were only in for one, if you don't finish your regular schoolwork, then they add another day. So I was like, I'm never going to get out of here. I'm just going to grow a long gray beard in in-school suspension. So it hit me. I was like, I'm going to head out. I'm going to, I quit. I'm done. You're in a bit of solitary confinement for eighth graders, except you're a 12th grader. Yeah, except I'm like old enough to drink. So you just there must have been liberty in that though. Like you're just like, oh, I was stacking up debt. It was a massive lightbulb moment or I was like, I'm going to head out. And I got up out of my seat and, you know, they just have

gym coaches that are like, you know, out of shape. Like they're off that period. of class so they put them in charge. You planned your escape. You were going to run if you had to. Like they weren't going to chase you down these fat guys who don't care very much about their jobs. Well, he's, you know, you know those coaches. And when I got up to walk

out of the room, I remember the coach got up, he's like, oh, whoa, whoa, where do you think you're going? And I said, I'm heading out. I'm going, I quit. I'm done. And he's like, what do you mean? And I said, I'm quitting school. Like, I'm leaving.

And he got out of my way. He was like, oh, okay. And I remember driving home just like, why didn't I do this sooner? Oh, my gosh. And so I think that my mother, when I told her, she went to college, but she dropped out. And I think she just got it. And I was just ready to move on and start a new chapter in life. And I remember she would always brag to people and they'd be like, how's it?

She was like, oh, you know, she dropped out of school. She's doing her own thing. And I was like, I had nothing going on. Like, I truly just dropped out and I didn't have a plan. Have you carried that anywhere into adulthood with something like that? What a great lesson to learn young. Wait a minute. I can just quit if I don't like something and start over to see if I can find happy somewhere else.

Like, is that something that has presented itself again? I mean, sure. I mean, relationships and places to live. but I also have been experiencing a new level of lessons on the opposite side of not quitting and taking criticism and feedback and using it to my advantage. And instead of getting mad about it, being like, maybe I should try to. that. Anything in particular you're thinking of there? Like, because, yeah, something hurting your feelings or you're done with something, the criticism, I'm not good at this. There's no reason to

try anymore. No, I don't quit. And now it's more fulfilling. I think that it's, it's an interesting place to be as a stand-up comedian that, and this is, listen, this is a very nice problem to have, and I am well aware. But years ago, over. Over 20 years ago, I have friends like Zach Gala Finacchus, Sarah Silverman, all these people getting their own TV shows and wanting me to make appearances on there. And I've never acted. I didn't go to acting school. Had no interest in acting.

I was pure stand-up. And I did it. And I had the luxury of very kind, supportive friends that when I got nervous, you know, Sarah took me out out of the room and she was like let's just jump up and down she was like

there's no reason to be nervous because we're friends and we're doing something fun and then she'd be like now do your worst possible take and it just took

all the pressure off of me and I'd be like okay but it wasn't my world to begin with and then that appearance on her show or on Zach show

or whoever's show would then lead me to another one and another one and then I'm in and I'm still not acknowledging that I'm an actor 20 years later when people are like, oh, and this is my friend, the actor, Tignot, I'm like, whoa, I'm not an actor, because I don't want offend actors.

And so. That's some real imposter syndrome to be acting for 20 years and not identify as an actor. Well, yeah. I mean, I'd be on an interview and right underneath me, I'd be the actor Tignotaro. and I'm like, oh, gosh, I'm so sorry to the other actors. Like, I did not ask that to be underneath me. But, yeah, that's one of those things of just learning that, okay, I'm an actor. I'm here now.

I need to prepare and I need to give it all that I can. And there are plenty of people that are still going to be like, you need to give more. What's happening there that you're not allowing yourself the grace of, no, or the ego of, no, I'm, I am acting. I'm an actor. I'm getting parts. I don't know if it's in reverse. There are actors that start doing comedy where you're like, that's not a real stand-up. That's an actor doing stand-up Because they want to be able to sell tickets And you know So I didn't want like

That's not me saying Nobody should do that But likely they're not impressing me Or other comedians, you know And I know That's possibly the same With like very trained serious actors Might be like

What is she doing here? You know But anyway, that's an example of I want to step up to where I actually am in life. And that's also another part of my life that I'm not running away from is my marriage. I've dated so much over the years. Never. Did I ever think I would be married at all? Not like I was running around town or cheating or anything like that.

I just, it's like, I'm not getting married. And then I met Stephanie. And yes, I'm in a committed long-term relationship. We've been together 13 years. I love being in a long-term committed relationship. That's a road I've never been down. And it's a new and exciting path for me. And old me, or some people would look at that and be like, I don't want to be stuck in something for my whole life, you know.

And so that's another example of, I think, something that I'm not quitting and I'm not walking away from. One plus one equals more of the greatest stories. Hulu on Disney Plus. Stories about survivors. The most dangerous planet. Family, retribution, murder, prophecy. Beer and propane. Bobby Dillard.

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That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician. lead, full body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan, live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Why did you think that you would never be married? Oh my gosh. The things I would say in relationships that were so telling of how one foot out I was. I remember one girlfriend said we had been together like six months or something and she was doing something in the kitchen and she was like, where should we go for Thanksgiving? And I was like thinking Thanksgiving. She thinks we're going to be together at Thanksgiving. Or another. girl. She was making homemade soup for me. And I just was like, how do you think our relationship's going to end? I just thought, like, let's have a, like, let's just explore that thought. Like,

are you going to cheat on me? Are we going to? Were you commitment phobic? What, I just, I had never had a relationship. I had, I just, I, I don't know, maybe. maybe I don't know but also it's no mystery that this happened after I lost everything in life you know my health and my mother and my ex um and by the way the ex that I was with at that time she's a very dear and close friend and our families hang out together now which is just wonderful I mean I committed to people for a year or five years and but then I thought I'll probably just move along you know when you talk about this transformative year, this is a broad question given everything you were dealing with at the same

time. But two-part question, how do you feel like it changed you and probably too broadly? What do you think you learned? Well, it changed me in, I really don't know who I was before 2012. When I think back. I literally do not understand what I was doing. I don't understand. And I really felt like it was one of those experiences where you're pushed to the edge of the planet and you're hanging over. And some get pulled back and some don't. And I was luckily pulled back. And I think that it is genuinely humbling to be that ill and to be that sad and to be that fearful. And I think I'm more not just humbled, but I am more careful with people's feelings

and just way more sensitive. And I want to do good in the way. world. I want to be around good. And yeah, it's like driving recklessly and getting in an accident and just being like, I will never, ever. But then you're human and time passes and you take things for granted and you're floating, drifting further from that. grounding place, but the luxury is that I do, I'm still tethered to that and I can have those wake up moments of back on track, you know. Because you've made the commitment to someone else, you've made the commitment to yourself.

Well, and it's because I can't unfeel or unsee what happened then. And yeah, yeah, it's it's it's it's I don't know how people aren't changed I remember I was on a TV I was on a production where this guy after I had cancer and he was like hey it was like a really impressive story he's like I had cancer I stage four this and that kind of I was like whoa and then I saw him light up a cigarette on a smoke break and I was truly I don't mean I if that's judgmental it's judgmental, but it was just more like I so could not relate to that because after I was sick, I started exercising every day. I changed the way I eat. I am all of those things that you're supposed to do. I didn't think about. I did not think about I was the epitome of the person.

I was like, that's not going to happen to me. I'm like I ever get cancer. I did, among other things. It sounds somewhere in there like you learned to love better, and in that transaction, you love yourself better as well. Absolutely. I for sure did. And that is what I'm continuing to go back to what I was saying earlier about trying to find my place in, yeah, I have the go to hell in me, but I also get a little big. maybe giraffe legs in certain situations where I'm not standing up for myself and I need to learn how to do that. But it's, but I'm, again, I'm doing fine. And I think that just finding that balance between the tenderness and the go-to-heelness, I'm just more aware. I'm way more aware. What was the soup?

I feel like it was like a carrot ginger. You'd know now. Be more aware. Yeah, I would have been so thankful. You wouldn't be in the middle of it saying, so how do you think our relationship is going to end? But I actually recognize some of what you're talking about when you talk about the tether and whatever, wherever it is that your lack of gratitude makes you move away from the present, right? Makes you move away from the things that sustain you or make you happy or remind you to. love yourself and not fall into the same old patterns of distracted forgetfulness because there are

plenty of things to distract you. Oh my gosh. So many. And you have to actively make changes. And I know that seems obvious, but you really have to actively make changes to have a different result. And you can't just hope things will shift without a massive change on your part. The success, though, can be tricky here, right? Because they're all sorts of. of golden things now on your path that could grab you by the ear and make you forget whatever if you're forgetful. If you're in a place that isn't tethered because whatever, many of the Hollywood shiny bibles that perhaps you'd never been intoxicated by, but that offer opportunities that maybe become a cover band in your 50s. Because you're about to have an assortment of opportunities that feed you, I would assume, once you get into the Oscar space. I mean, you see Oscar nominees and winners that kind of go by the wayside or struggle to get work.

But I think that also comes down to maybe their personalities or they shift into different interests. But I don't know. I think what's different about me is that I did not move to L.A. to make it. I move to follow my friends. And so I'm playing a very different game. And I think that some people will trip over that with me. And they can't put their finger on why I'm not driven in the way that other people are. Your lack of materialistic here in Hollywood, they don't recognize it.

It's an entirely different language, right? Yeah. All sorts of people are coming out here for different dreams that aren't bird watching. Right. Yes. But I enjoy so many elements of what this entertainment industry offers and opportunities, people that I meet and places I get to go and ways to express myself. But I'm not, I don't think I will, I know I won't ever be, I won't veer off. nothing will be too shiny enough for me to lose touch with what I'm tethered to. Well, and what you've learned is what you're saying, right? It's putting in my place very gently saying, no, Hollywood shiny things where I've been,

where I've been and learned what you actually want at this stage in my life, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be knocked over by superficialities. No, I don't think that I'm just playing a very different. game, a very different game. And where does it go in the next five or ten years? Do you have a plan for it? And this isn't just professional what I'm asking you, because your newest work is littered with the things, some of the things you've learned in parenthood, which I'm sure has also changed you. Yes, that has very much changed me. And what I feel more than ever is, and that goes back to gratitude is it's not that I want more and bigger. It's that I want, I want to maintain what I have

and I want to appreciate it. And I also want to, and that means my marriage, my connection with my children, my work, my health, that's really, really top for me. Well, it's all that matters. It really is. And the experience of making the documentary about my friend, the documentary Come See Me in the Good Light, that experience was solely driven by love and passion, not just me, but the director, the crew, Andrea, Andrea's spouse, Meg,

the financiers, Everybody was driving this project with love, and it was true art. It was every production I've ever been on. There's a weirdo rattling around, and there was not on this production. And we came through it with all of us closer than we ever were. I don't know of a production where the sound guy and the, the cinematographer are people that were socializing with, you know, oftentimes the crew just, they pick up a job, they move on. And with this, it was, and I know so many productions say and are

a family after they work together. This is really a family. And it was so inspiring to be a part of it and to come out of that, that's what I want more of. I want way more of what I experience. And of course, there's the sad element of losing my friend and our friend. But the way everybody approached everything was, and it wasn't just everyone was being fragile, and it was all in. Everything was on the table to talk about. Everything was on the table to laugh about.

And it wasn't a sparkly Hollywood project, but it oddly ended up getting the top nomination through the Academy Awards. I mean, I'm not going to say it's darkly funny in any way, but it is really informative that you sort of skipped past the part. And of course there was the sad part of the loss. But you're describing creatively heaven on earth, following love right up until the end where there is the greatest loss, which is what love risk. Yes. That had to be beautiful. Like that artistically, I don't know how you do better than that. You can't.

I have chills right now. It's, it's, I was telling Stephanie that making this documentary was. the only thing that has come anywhere close to finding Stephanie and having our children, that I can't believe I nailed that. I cannot believe. After all of my failed relationships and imperfect partnering that I contributed, I mean, just so you know, I am very friendly with, I think there's maybe an X that I, it's not like I have explosive, terrible, I'm still in. You didn't know how to be a committed partner.

I didn't know how to love. And I didn't even, I was just like, yeah, whatever, we'll do this until we don't. But the fact that I met Stephanie and that I still enjoy her. so deeply, 13 years later, and that I love being with my family. I can't believe that that is my life. And I cannot believe, this is, I said, this is the only other home run, except for turning my health around. My family, turning my health around in this documentary, home runs, home runs. And I, I want to maintain that. Well, you probably didn't imagine that you'd be able to, without dark comedy or edges intervening,

just tell a love story and tell a love story from the perspective of everything you've learned with your own loss and what it means to live. Well, and that's what this movie is about. People hear that it's a poet with stage four ovarian cancer, and it's like, oh, Jesus, that's heavy.

But it's a movie about how to live, not about how to die. and it is so surprisingly funny. And people leave the screenings or viewing, feeling this urgency of what have I been doing with my life? I need to make some changes. And I got to get out of here. I got to go live my life is how they feel and after they see that movie. You don't often get to feel right what you just said.

TIG, you nailed it. That was a home run. You're probably not that kind of kind to yourself even now with everything you've learned, right? or are you like like because that's the there what greater creative fulfillment will you have than allowing yourself the real joy of no I did that as well as that can be done because I was because I was following the right things because I was following all that life has taught me about what are the important lessons you don't get those chances that often no and and what's so great is that I'm not the subject of this project I get to be quote unquote

just the producer and so I can really celebrate this project and tell everyone you've got to watch it it's so beautiful whereas if I was the subject of it I'd be like I'd be curious to see what you thought you know whereas this I'm of course curious what people think but man I will go on about the movie the subjects and the process of making this film because I mean, I've had so many great experiences making things, but this was, it just was something so different. It makes sense what you're saying, though. It seems like with everything you've learned through all of the growths, right? Stand-up comedy is a bit lonely.

It's narcissistic. It's selfish. It's not very conducive to committed relationships. The entire lifestyle isn't you're feeding yourself. But later in life, as you go through everything that you've gone through, you learn such, it might seem trite, but you just learn. to follow love and then do something that's about someone else. And then that becomes that's that's also parenting, which is where your life gets turned, you know, you become a vastly less selfish person.

Oh my gosh. All I think about is my kids, my wife. And because I think I have PTSD. I know I do. PTSD after being so ill. I'm always like, okay, if something happens, I just want to make sure this isn't playing. and then we have this and that is not set aside. And I'm like, Stephanie, if anything happened,

I'm like, okay, I got it. But yeah, it's my number one. And I'm going through losing, I mean, I've lost my parents. I've lost my stepfather, my cousin, different people in my life. And there was something different in this loss of Andrea Gibson. my friend, the poet. And I just want to make sure, because Andrea's death, as painful and sad as it was,

it was so beautiful. Andrea wanted to be surrounded by friends and family at home. And that is exactly what happened. And as I said, anything was on the table. to talk about, laugh about. And it made me realize, I don't, look, I don't want to die. Andrea didn't want to die. But it's coming for all of us. And I've spent so much time trying to kick death away, trying to eat healthy, exercise. Like I'm running. You know, and I, again, I don't want to die. But what has changed with me is the real understanding. It's coming. So I want to have a more

open dialogue, not just with myself, but even with my kids, not to scare them, but just I want them to know, I've had the greatest life in the world. And I've had a lot of tough stuff, but I don't want to die, but if I do, I've done everything and more. And I want my kids to know that. And I want to have a special way that I go if I have the choice. I know not everyone has that choice. But, But that's just become very important to me to find some sort of beauty and celebratory experience in my exit. You say that and you remind me of, I lost my brother a couple of years ago. I'm sorry. Thank you.

Little brother. And I sort of raised him. So it's like, and I don't have kids. So there's a lot here. and obviously the moment of his passing, the most painful, beautiful thing I've ever experienced because he was surrounded by so much love in the room. Yeah.

And the power of that is what allowed you follow your heart and make something that everyone celebrates now. But you're like, you're televised, you're broadcasting something. something that is the greatest lesson. Yeah. To have an appreciation for what's between here and there. Yeah.

And know that it's coming and live as if you live as if you have that appreciation with every step. Yes. Yes. And I want my kids to know that I feel that way. I don't want them. One of my favorite quotes, which I've kind of re-arranged a bit. so it's more universal. I think the original quote, and I don't know whose it is, but it's the best gift you can give your children is a well-lived life of your own.

But my feeling is the best gifts you can give anybody is a well-lived life of your own. And I don't feel like anybody in my life worries about me. Everybody knows I'm doing what I want to do and that I'm taking care of myself and I'm living a full life and I'm surrounded by love. And that's just really important for me to make sure my kids know that. And I, of course, hope that they experience that as well. It's been a pleasure to watch, a pleasure to spend this time with you,

but it's a pleasure to watch your growth as an artist. So thank you for sharing this time with us. I have the website right, right? TIG World, TIGNation. Well, it's also just Tignotaro.com. You've got them both. Yeah, I think I have them both. You're big balling now.

You've got many a domain name. Yes, yes indeed. Thank you. Appreciate the time. Thanks for having me. And the work. Thank you.