The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: A Hot Dog In The 10 O'Clock Hour

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

After a discussion on Copa America mayhem, we take a look at the green ooze at Miami International Airport and debate whether or not they have the best Nathan's Hot Dogs in America. Then, Pablo Torre is here to share with Dan some of the great things that happened while he was gone including the rehabilitation of David Samson's image despite Samson trying to get rid of Black History Month, the lazy river of milk, and Dan's clearly fake glasses. Dan gets defensive and lists all of his various ailments so the audience feels bad for him. Pablo also shared his thoughts on J.D. Vance as Trump's VP pick. Plus, Nolan Ryan is a compiler, limited fake Joe Biden, and Lenny Kravitz. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. From producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Yocum Roning comes the must-see true story, Daisy Ridley. I go to England or die trying. Trudy, you don't have to do this. Don't let anyone take me out of the water no matter what. Disney's Young Woman and the Sea. Streaming on Disney Plus this Friday. $25,000 play at games dot circle k dot com or at participating circle k stores This is the done laboratory show with this two guts podcast I want to ask you guys some questions over the course of the show to legitimately give me some guidance Because I don't know where you have been or what you have talked about and so I Don't know what the national reaction is to video that I saw from Miami and Copa, America. I

was watching the video and I assumed that the national reaction would be some form of national reaction would be some form of brown people are totally out of control. That they're animals, that we're not ready for the World Cup, and that it looked like when you've got video of people climbing through air conditioning ducks, it looked like chaos, and it looked like our security, that word is bogus but everywhere it's bogus you don't get security just because people are in suits and got your pieces you don't get security cuz some is wearing a yellow shirt an orange vest and writes it on the back of a black t-shirt

but that this felt like what miami thought was coming here was like a dolphin game or a marlin game or something and then it just gets overrun by the soccer zealotry that you would normally see anywhere else in the world that isn't America and from sort of English hooligans. What Miami got overrun with was the the incompetence of governing bodies in soccer and it's it's confusing to talk about and it's pretty loaded. But for this Copa America, the governing body of South America, it's their tournament, organizes everything.

The stadium presents plans. It's not the first time South American teams have been playing games. It's not the first Copa America game at Hard Rock Stadium. It's a venue that hosts Formula One, Taylor Swift, WrestleMania, Super Bowls. They have plans. Come to Ball was presented with the plans, decided to cut corners on those plans because it meant they'd get to pocket more money. And what you had was a setup

unlike anything they've ever had. You get more of a perimeter for Miami Ball State than you did for the Copa America final. And this is a culture that is used to in South America. Plenty of people show up to the gates without a ticket just to be around the atmosphere. You mitigate that by having a perimeter come to ball to shoot those plans. And now you have a glorious game of multiple parties, stadium, governing bodies, even CONCACAF is in the mix, mayor's office, police department, all pointing fingers at one another, and everyone, and I think this is pretty lazy, and it shows you the failings of local law enforcement, is saying, hey, there's only so much we can do, they're the boss. There's certain concessions that you have to make to acquire a cup final,

and hopefully they realize they can never do that again with Cognitive Ball. You, I assume, are coming from a perspective that is protecting people here, Miami, from looking like total lunacy. Yeah, protecting Latin Americans, Miamians, because that was a really bad look. I'm not going to excuse the behavior, Dan, because there were some bad apples there, but it was a I'm not gonna excuse the behavior, Dan, because there were some bad apples there, but it was a byproduct of really poor crowd control. That was not Miami, that was not Hard Rock Stadium, that was not even First World. My question to the group is, okay,

because I know that you're coming from a perspective that is both informed and emotionally biased, because when I saw that video, as someone who cares about Miami, who cares about the minorities in Miami, because I don't believe, from what it is that I've heard the scene was here outside of that video, that you will find more of Argentina and Columbia shirts,

you know, jerseys, on Sunday patrolling our streets in a way that separates Dade from Broward very much. It separates what Panthers hockey fandom is from what Wayne Huizenga built in Fort Lauderdale because he didn't like how brown Miami was. So- You can't, Dan, I know where you're going with this and it is a part of the conversation,

but I'm not here, like people are having a go at the spectators, rightfully so, I think, but three years ago or so at Wembley Stadium during the Eurofinal, there were very similar scenes. There were, Taylor Twelman can detail for you how he was calling a match and people were next to him in the press box and he felt it was very dangerous. Mike, I don't think you know where I'm going because I'm coming at this from ignorance. I have no idea what the reaction actually was, but because I'm absorbing everything that's happening around an assassination attempt and everything around a party that is making choices to really bury others, okay?

I'm asking how this is being received because I, as a Cuban person, looked at it and said, this is going to be viewed as animals. This is why we build a wall. This is why we talk about Mexico building a wall, because this is why the other side is armed. They're fearing some of what feels like when it's reported. They fear something that looks out of control and overrun by people who aren't behaving the way they would. Soccer's dead, no one cared, Dan.

You can rest assured that the reaction isn't what you're fearing. It's not that. I think mostly Thankfully not not many people got hurt. It seems as though very serious. He got hurt in a game That's one of the more serious injuries Seasons a joke to everybody him included apparently contact, but there is a lot of funny in this

The president of the Colombian Federation got arrested. You know, there's a lot of memes that were born of it. Look, someone's going to have to pay for the destruction of that 72 club. But I think generally, what you're fearing in terms of reaction, I think people realize that there were bigger fish to fry this week, and that's not really a part of the talking points. So it's just making fun of Miami for being Miami, right? Yeah, and it's a complicated thing.

How did the guy think he was gonna get into the stadium with that dog? I mean, he did. He did. So. That dog was not wearing a service dog vest. That dog did not have a ticket. He showed you.

No one had a ticket, apparently. I do think that some of the laughter that comes Miami's way is earned because I will tell you that the Zimbabwe airport bathrooms, much better than everything at Miami International Airport. While you were gone, did you see that it was just like, MIA was just leaking green ooze from the ceiling? And I don't think anyone ever explained that.

We just kind of moved on the next day some other story came up, But like it was raining inside and it was green antifreeze looking like, it looked like a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award. It was odd. And then it just took over like a whole like section of the airport, like there should be people sitting. And then there was just, as far as I know,

never an explanation as to what that was. Are you saying their airports and their bathrooms and their airports are nicer than ours than Miami? It's the nicest thing in the Miami airport? Because you've never been to the Nathans at Miami airport. It's the nicest Nathans I've ever been to. Stugats. I'm telling you.

Stugats, that's one of the most- And the sushi place is fantastic. That's one of the most disgusting things you have ever said. What? Miami International Airport is a total dump. I don't think so. You have.

There's some good parts, but man, there's two terrifying words, gate H. Yeah, but concourse B, Nathan's, I'm telling you, it's fantastic. It's the nicest Nathan's I've ever been to, it is. I might say more about Nathan's. That's not saying very much, it's really not. The man lives in Jupiter, you think he's actually going down to MIA? I love MIA. Get out of here. Duval

County Airport. Sentences I didn't think came here today. You gotta find a flight. I'm telling you, you travel as much as I do. You just go anywhere. Right out of Orlando. Let's address this for a moment because I got the Nathan's it's not that's not even rated for us I have you know what let's send someone there. It's not that nice That's a good idea Chris. That's a good idea. No because you have to buy someone a plane ticket TSA Is it on the other side of security no listen there's some airports you can walk through security with an ID. Is it on the other side of security? No, you can't. Listen, at some airports you can. There are multiple Nathans in MIA. Concourse A has one, C has one, but the nice one is Concourse B.

I'm just telling you. You guys think we can get somebody into the airport sneaking in to check out, to do a Nathan's review. It's on the opposite side of the security check-in. No. Sneak in, No, sneak in. Like use the clear. Given what we've seen of security,

both locally and nationally. That's correct. Just stroll right in. That seems actually like it's pretty easy by comparison. What is that green ooze? Explain to me what the green ooze is. Antifreeze? I don't think anyone ever answered what it was.

It's just, look, there it is. Oh yeah. Just there. Wow. I went to the Museum of slime in Chicago a couple weeks ago that didn't even look like that I Can't believe I would run away from that. Yeah, I mean, how could you not? Of course you would run That's not doctor. That's the actual color. No. Yes. It was raining down in the other video. Yeah, that's just there No one really explained what was to guys. What's the earliest that you've had a hot dog at Nathan's in actual color? No, yes, it was raining down in the other video. Yeah, that was just there. No one really explained what it was. Stu, guys, what's the earliest that you've had a hot dog

at Nathan's in an airport? Oh, wow, Concourse B or just anywhere? Airport rules don't apply. Like, as soon as you step into the airport, time ceases to exist. You can eat whatever whenever. I would say- Or drink whatever whenever.

I live by that rule for sure. I've had a hot dog in the 10 o'clock hour, in the morning. That's about the earliest I've had a hot dog in the 10 o'clock hour, in the morning. That's about the earliest I've had a hot dog. Put it on the poll please. What is the earliest acceptable time to have a hot dog? Or is it acceptable, I guess, to have a hot dog for breakfast? So how would the question be posed though,

the way that you posed it, Billy, as a poll question? Time ceases to exist? Yeah, time doesn't matter when you're in an airport. As soon as a poll question, time ceases to exist? Yeah, time doesn't matter when you're in an airport. As soon as you walk in, time ceases to exist. You can eat and drink whatever you want at any point in time. All right, make that a poll question as well, just like that.

Unless you're in Reno, in which everyone leaves at 6 p.m. and you're left to your own devices. How can StuGods be arguing, okay, that the Nathan's at Miami International Airport? It's beautiful. I want to examine this from a couple of angles because- Ooh, Brent Maine.

What? It's- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think someone got him already. No nobody said Tom Gordon. I said Tom Gordon. Yeah it's fine. He's on the TG's of baseball reference clearly. Yeah. Why did you say Tom Gordon? Flash. Yeah. But was he a royal? Yeah he's a royal. He was. He started his career with a royal. Of course he was. I think I know that. I don't think of him as a royal. You think he was a Ritzock? I do. The Stephen King's favorite. Didn't he write a Ritzack? I do. The Stephen King's favorite. Didn't he write a book about him? What were you saying, Chris?

I'm saying that I just, I think I found this Nathan's in the Miami International Airport. This is a nice Nathan's. Thank you. It is really nice. Thank you, there it is! Oh, that's a good spot. Oh!

It's beautiful looking at Dan. But it's just such a backhanded compliment. My point is I've never thought in any form that Nathan's, that it tastes good, looks good, feels good. It's depression in a hot dog bun. Stu Gatz here from my friends over at Simply Safe. Imagine a burglary at your home. If you're picturing a shady character sneaking about under the cloak of night, you may be surprised to learn that according to the FBI, most break-ins happen during broad daylight and spike during the summer months as more homes hit unattended and the days grow longer.

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That's SimpliSafe.com slash DLB. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Don Lebatattard. Dan is getting to his microphone real quick. Sorry about that. Thank you, Stugatz. I appreciate it. My apologies. I had to run out for a moment.

Stugatz. Did you eat something? I did. I grabbed some turkey. You can hear it in my mouth. Yeah, you made it seem like you were doing something urgent and said you were just stuffing your face. I was doing something urgent.

I went upstairs and grabbed some turkey, and then I ran back down here. I'm sorry that I'm late. It's very unprofessional. Why do you have an entire turkey leg in your pocket? I do. I walk around here like it's Disney world with one giant piece of turkey at all times. This is the Don LeBattar Show our show with the StuGards. I really did think Roy that you were choosing Tom Gordon as a royal just because he was black. That's the reason. No. Plenty of black people who have played for the royals, including Bo Jackson. But I felt like you were naming most of them, weren't you? No, I was not naming most of them.

I mean, you roared with laughter, UO Washington. Brett Saberhagen. Ah, saves. Mark Gubisar. I thought that's, we have him on it. I said Krisenberry, Dan. Okay, I'm sorry. That's my bias, I'm sorry.

That's my racial bias, I missed it. I just assumed that that's what you were doing. I thought it was funny. Given all the Stephen King projects that get greenlit, how bad must this book about Tom Gordon be? If we haven't seen it yet Pablo I I'm reading in I'm in the middle of Stephen King's book on writing right now. I'm in the middle of it It's fascinating book on writing. Yes. It's a book on writing by Sarah podcasts on podcasting

Apparently Stephen King has a very easy time writing. writing just sits down and gets things done very quickly it's unusual the back at his better the first half i will spoil it for you bob low i tried to get caught up on willfully behind right now i've been off the grid and i saw some of the episode descriptions from last week while you were in charge down here is very pleased to see that you and dom and samson and ameen uh... help this out while i was aware while i was away and not aware uh... and i'm reading the episode descriptions dan lebatard wears fake glasses the lazy river of milk

i think there shouldn't be a mental health month anymore mister size open five shorts, Pablo was attacked by nerds, and Chris Cody's top five things he wrote down during our interview with a sex therapist. And I really don't know what any of this is about. It sounds like great work though, I mean.

Yeah, we did you proud, Dan. David Sampson said that we shouldn't have a mental health month anymore. He said that we shouldn't have a mental health month anymore. He said that we shouldn't have a Black History Month anymore. And he had the most sort of inspiring... What? David Samson, it's what he said. Billy can verify that. It's a fact, Jack. Chris Cody can verify that.

You find the tape, you can roll it at some point. I think what he said was why. Break down. Was that before or after he said that the Copa America final would be the safest place to be at? He also predicted that security would be the big theme of the Copa America when it came to Miami. So he was nailing it on all fronts.

And he was, I think the most popular David Sampson has ever been. You guys can back me up on that, but I think we rehabilitated David Sampson for a larger audience, despite what those headlines that Dan just read from the feed might suggest my guitar the safest place in america over the weekend was like to have uh... that's where all the security lines which ravis kelsey and then you robert's

did you guys just mention all those things about david samson and not mention that people are accusing him of kicked it killing doctor roose oh yeah we did or he did he Dr. Ruth, allegedly, over the weekend. We had this ex-therapist on who was fantastic, fantastic, and her name escapes me. One of you guys can jump in. April, April Lampert, maybe? Something like that. She was terrific. And David's only, really, question of urgency was, was her mentor Dr. Ruth, and she immediately said, no,

nothing in anything that I've done, the research you have would suggest that. And that weekend, Dr. Ruth died. So shout out to David Sampson for, you know, killing the foremost sex therapist in American history. Formerly. Black History Month, why is that? Yep, told you.

You think you rehabilitated him. It worked. Dominique and David Samson at one point, Dan you will appreciate this, having been on Safari while it happened. David Samson jumped into Dominique's arms like a koala bear after executing It's weird.

A daft that began with a Euro step. That he called a dib. Which is again video worth revisiting. He called it a dib later. So we're still working on some stuff, but I believe that David Sampson has reached across an aisle and despite canceling Black History Month again, which is what that sound indicated,

he did become friends with Dominique, which was shocking. Like they're really good friends now, which none of us really anticipated, given the aforementioned details we've also presented here I think that there shouldn't be a mental health month anymore yeah David has some human tendencies we found last week you're not playing any of them for me they were there though they were really there here it is look You didn't rehabilitate anything talked in polo to

Shorts they can't pickpocket Yeah, the pickpocket proof, but he's tucked in the polo look at the again though the euros manu jenoble a And Dominique just like caring walks him over to the seat Yeah, I think there's a real message of hope in there not just for our show But for America if those two people can become friends we all can America. If those two people can become friends, we all can. They they they might love each other now. And by the way, that video, that whole experiment was inspired by the fact that we found the one thing Joe Biden is still awesome at, which is DAP,

got a video of him dapping himself up at a Waffle House. And so we just tried to recreate this in inspiration to the Democratic Party and to democracy in general. And I think we healed America in the process, actually. Since, yeah, and then there's that. So I want to talk to Pablo about that for a second, because we now have a situation where you have, unbelievably, in an election year that's headed straight toward us only having bad choices, only bad choices.

I find myself super rattled by what it is that I've come back to, which is an election news cycle that tells me that one candidate is dying and the other can't be killed and it's unbelievable to watch what it is that I've returned to and so I just ask you walk me through what is happening here with a with you know classified documents yesterday are allowed now sort of legal to be keeping secret in your bathroom somehow and JD Vance who's said very bad things about Trump and like we played that clip before he's the guy who stood up and tried to fight right like you wanted just to fight this is it this is now

carbon copy copy white copy paper we're guns and it's gonna be an all-out war from within yeah there's a lot of this talk about like, look at the photo of Trump. We're gonna teach this in history books to children. And assuming the photo has a caption and a page with text on it, I think it's worth considering what that page will say. And as much as it's impressive that, and fortunate, truly fortunate

that Donald Trump is alive today. I also want to point out that Donald Trump might be the only candidate that Joe Biden conceivably could defeat because Joe because Joe Biden is too old to be a viable presidential candidate and would lose to pretty much everyone other than a guy who if we did not have goldfish level memory would not be a reasonable person to reelect. And so all of that is obvious. All of that brings me to JD Vance and the JD Vance part of it, Dan,

I have a little bit of insight into because before I said that if I wanted anybody to run for president in America, it would be Dominique Foxworth, the aforementioned koala holdingholding bridge builder from the clip you saw before. And it's because people like Dominique are the opposite of people like JD Vance.

And by that, I mean JD Vance is one of these classic, and I say this with all of the knowing resemblance to this concept in the eyes of my own critics, I suppose. JD Vance is the classic Ivy League, thinks he's way smarter than he is, and is transparently, transparently power-hungry. To the point where he was the guy, yes, calling Donald Trump America's Hitler. He was the guy who would give you chapter and verse about how this man, Trump, is not somebody we should ever want in power. But as soon as the Senate seat opens up, he is, in fact, the opposite of everything he

used to say. And so when it just comes to the question of who are we putting in power when it comes to personal ideology, agenda, forget about JD Vance wanting to ban pornography and wanting to ban abortion for even cases of rape and incest all of which he has said before just think about whether you trust this guy the guy who goes from that to now standing next to Trump it's just none of us should trust him on either side of the aisle nobody should trust JD Vance and so the fact that he is now in this family photo too feels

like a perfect encapsulation for a textbook certainly, but I don't think the caption there is one of heroism. It's one of, oh, of course all of this is happening in this way. It's kind of exactly what is supposed to happen at this part of a horrible movie. Pablo, I don't trust any of them on either side. You're saying why should we trust JD Vance? Why should we trust Joe Biden? I want Joe Biden out of this race, man. It's just it's insane to me.

It's insane that we are just to God's his point. You watch him and you're like we should not have so little high ground in this argument when it comes to telling people something that they can plausibly believe when it comes to this is what your eyes are seeing and this is what they're telling you. I think Joe Biden's age, which is a different category of problem, is unsustainable. And again, if you want to stop the other side, there's a still got there's a football metaphor here, right? You don't want to do what the other teams coach is begging you

to do. And it's very clear that everybody on the Trump Republican MAGA side of things wants to run against Joe Biden. And Trump is the only person Joe Biden could beat except again, I just don't think it's plausible anymore given how bad his performances have been and how obvious and undeniable all of it feels now. So yeah, I don't blame you and that is a problem, a fundamental problem for how much of a layup otherwise this election should be on the actual substance of anything. You nailed it any given Sunday. this election should be on the actual substance of anything. You nailed it any given Sunday.

The re- By the way, Dan, can I just propose one thing as a question that I wanted to have the answer to. Are your glasses fake? No, why would they be fake? I've got problems reading. Last week, we all wore your glasses and The ones under your desk and there were there was clearly no prescription there

No, are you talking about any of the ones that were in the cases because there was one around here like a plastic one around Here there was like some fake glasses of Stu gots's Did you try the one in the cases like why would my glasses be? Like I'm Bryant Gumbel trying to fool people into intellect? We had trouble trusting you last week is what I'm saying. It wasn't those glasses stugatsas were. It was the other glasses. No, but these are the only two that are here that are prescription glasses. Look, I don't want to sound defensive here. If you want to accuse me of being- It sounds like you are very-

I mean, you're blind. We thought maybe they were blue light glasses, but you have now dispelled that theory. It's okay if it's- Yeah, so- I would show you- Even less plausible now. I would show you very expensive receipts for glasses that suggest-

Expensive parts a little unnecessary. Tax returns? No, because why would I buy expensive- Show to a pharmacy, get one and a half. Why would I buy expensive fake glasses? That's what we're asking Yep America wants to know it's So how do I address what you're asking me?

How do I prove what you're asking me because I do like the idea of me as a character Who's not equipped to actually discuss anything that's happening politically in America right now, but is trying, trying to appear as a fake intellectual. Like I like the character of fake glasses to make me try to look smarter when I can't discuss, you know, assassination attempts because what the f**k is going on in America, man? I mean, you did start the show today with like a 20 minute monologue under a spotlight. So the fake glasses kind of feel like a big part of it so much better as a character God almighty for Joe Madden I mean I should do it I don't know how to defend myself against you without sounding defensive but these are glass like I have trouble reading

looked through the lenses and there were no prescript everybody who was in the container last week we all took turrets and all of us could detect no difference in this maybe a placebo thing what's happening like maybe a placebo so maybe am I wrong my eyes are lying to me literally like someone's lying like they are my doctor so we can't trust anybody is what you guys are saying it's not true it's not just Vance and Trump we can't trust anybody not my doctors not what saying. It's not just Vance and Trump. We can't trust anybody. Not my doctors, not what I'm telling you. It's all AI. It's all misinformation.

Hell, you can't tell me the last three days, Pablo, with Daily Show and MSNBC, like having to cancel stuff. You cannot tell me that the media's not running scared from the fact that Dana White's on Pat McAfee and they're all saying, yeah, Trump, Trump, Trump. It's a fair point. It does turn out that you literally cannot trust your own eyes.

So that's a good place to land, I guess. I found that out this week. Dan Leventard is actually biologically incapable of trusting his own eyeballs. Well, that's where we are. I am not equipped to discuss the insanity in America right now, because I can't see anything clearly like i'm seeing all i see is black and white

that's all i see in brown and some brown little yellow maybe sometimes you see this uh... sometimes later these are not racist colored glasses and they're really is a deal all these are fake but i'll be

thank you uh... Oh, these are fake Thank you They're not very far how do I prove this to you and get out of the quick stand up we're still doing this Glasses over the lens of the camera there will be no difference No difference All right, let America see through your eyes How are those on you people are wondering CVS? 50 where their goose ass glad you look like mrs. Claus it's the other ones

Chris Chris you've got the wrong glasses you guys it's the other one I'm the one who can't see clear go I'm the one you know what I can't see clearly. I'm the one. You know what I can't see clearly? Look! We should have another executive producer. All right everybody it's finally here, best ball week at DraftKings, my favorite time of the year and DraftKings best ball millionaire contest is the biggest fantasy contest ever at DraftKings. A 15 million dollar guaranteed prize pool with two millionaires being crowned. DraftKings is offering everyone a million guaranteed prize pool with two millionaires being crowned. DraftKings is offering everyone a draft 1 get 1 special. Your $20 entry fee scores you a bonus ticket. It's Best Ball Week here at DraftKings and

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You are very comfortable talking about how you met your wife, how much you love her, how important she is to you. And that's the reason that I asked the question. I've always admired that about you, that you have no problems whatsoever professing your love. Well, the thing is, I got a new wife now. Me and Bianca didn't make it. So I moved on, we moved on.

It was for the better both of us still gots Things just got a little awkward there. So let me be the first on this show to congratulate you on the new wife Vance Congratulations on on on feeling whole feeling complete, you know Let's talk tailgating. Yeah Don't be those don't feel awkward buddy Yeah Don't be don't don't feel awkward buddy Appreciate you soothing me in this regard, but I already feel terribly awkward and then my teammate comes to my defense with not a question Just a healthy congratulations and the further pointing out of that awkwardness because he's always good for me in those spots.

I'm also thinking of divorce Vince after many many years, 18 years, with a partner who does things like that to you. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the StuGats. This is a really tough position you guys have put me in because I don't want to let this go and I know we're in the quicksand. I don't think that it's a good subject to continue. There are serious things going on in the world. But I have now been accused of something publicly that you guys all think like I'm a liar and

I can only sound defensive in the face of that. And I'm trying to defend myself because it's only the God's honest truth that I have trouble seeing. I reveal all of myself to you all the time. I'm not trying to lie to anybody. It's not a strong prescription and I do find it funny that you're confused like you put your glasses on and you're like look it looks totally like these are fixing my eyes what are you talking about yeah that's what glasses do. You guys if I am reading you think it's a placebo and I can't read things that I've written here look aging sucks Yeah, that's these as Biden aging sucks man. And so I can't my eyesight and my health are going Yeah, but like reading things are more of an issue than anything, right?

So you kind of just got like a souped-up pair of reading glasses You also like that's how placebos work. You wouldn't know if they were fake or not Also, if a rich man walks into eye, what is eye doctor's office? Ob-Chon-A-Trus? Yeah I know what I'm just saying, what's the place called though? Costco, the doctor's office The doctor's office The doctor's office

The doctor's office I'd say like prescription office, yeah I would struggle around that too If a rich guy walks in and he's like I need glasses and he doesn't need glasses Guess what? I'm telling him. Here's your prescription sir. Yeah, have a nice day. Yeah, well charge your insurance $7,000 but I'm sorry another one of those Hollywood whales Okay, so I Hollywood hip-boots, so what the part I'm not really understand or someone from the cabal is here this is what I walk into a place.

I will grant you that at Miami Beach this is funny, because it is an eye place that is in the building. An eye place. Of like a condo. But it's probably what it says on the marquee. An eye place. And it's just an eye. I don't understand, because you said you go to your dentist

and they give you massages and stuff. Are you sure you're going to doctor's offices? It's Miami Beach, man. And I do like Stugatz's idea of me just always walking in majestically into an eye place with an eye, just like, yes, please, let's talk more about me, a place where I can put on my phony glasses and pretend to be smart and say, in this eye store,

let's compete with Apple for this. You walk in. Is there just like an eyeball? Cause like maybe you're walking into like an Illuminati office or something. Is there any triangles? It's just the letter I. And they go in and say, sir, $200.

Talk about me. Your copay is 200. Your insurance is getting banged. The thing I'm not understanding about fashion or whatever it is you guys are talking about when you say prescription is, I went and bought reading glasses. Is this something, are you assuming I'm doing this

for fashion or style when they fogged up on me the first time I started wearing them? No, you could not possibly be doing that for fashion. The thing is- That's why I feel bad for you in this debate because you're out of moves. When you buy reading glasses, they need to put a prescription in. Simply the act of buying them

doesn't mean that they have a prescription. These glasses, all I will tell you is that these glasses, I went in for testing. They go and test my eyes. They tell me I've got some dang. Okay, well. So they get you. I'm gonna tell you more of the story

because it gets worse. Get that last row. I will tell you, now you guys have got me. All right, you know i'm gonna tell you more the story because it gets worse so that last row i will tell you now you guys have got me all right you know that's let's do this let's do this is a show all right let's just go through my assortment of ailments and reveal myself entirely the audience we already went through gallbladder surgery that was a winner right off the top now let's go to wait where and how i'm aging because what i'm about to tell you is true that's i've been having panic attacks i've been passing out the last two years

have been really bad okay justin over here i'd go in and they tell me i gotta get tested for glaucoma like immediately united do that immediately uh... and and i go and i go on a day i'm supposed to be met skipper for something to do some business thing and we go to offices and i just pass out i pass out yes drive me home.

Somewhere within all of that, I needed glasses and I went to a place where they scanned my head and did all sorts of brain stuff. I've had enough of those for two years. Just for glasses? And I just need to read better because it's kind of important to what we're doing around here. I know I got a couple of people who can't read but i've got to be able to read things i can't read my own handwriting i can't see

i'm getting old uh... it's not so much of what happened on card yesterday with jeter he made no one ryan in derrick jeter's age you know when they are and i'm looking at it that's a mistake i can make i can't i get to all into errors confused all the time in baseball still still got tonight had a discussion the other day about the 80 pirates and he was naming like 1970 pirate I was I've lost I've lost my touch on that. That's what happens with getting old. Yeah. Yeah, I can't read without glasses Why am I being accused of being a liar? I don't want to tell the audience all these things

I mean we held the prescription up to the camera without glasses. Why am I being accused of being a liar? I don't want to tell the audience all these things. I mean, we held the prescription up to the camera. Yeah. What does that prove? That's not science. It actually proves a lot. I could grab someone else's glasses and you'd see how much it would prove. Andy Van Slyke, Stu Gotts.

Andy Van Slyke. Nolan Ryan retired after the 93 season and Derek Jeter was drafted in 1992. So it wasn't that crazy. How did Nolan Ryan not win a Cy Young? Think about it. These are the things you think about when you're riding around in the passenger seat in a gummy Lake Tahoe. I mean, never won a Cy Young. Nolan Ryan, think about that. That's crazy. That's insane. Let's talk for a second about the mistake that went viral. Compiler?

Oh, that was a little riff you had in your observations? Yeah, you got gotta cross it out. It's one of the laziest things you do, and that's a library of shit. 27 years, I mean, you're gonna have the most wins and strikeouts and all that if you pitch for 27 years. You guys are saying Nolan Ryan is a compiler? We're asking.

You guys could not foul off a Nolan Ryan fastball at his age, whatever it presently is. I don't know about that. Tell me, come on. You got Ryan here. I can tell you, I can touch that ball. I don't know about that. Come on. You got Ryan here. Nolan Ryan. I can tell you, I can touch that ball. Nolan Ryan can still throw 90.

No chance. No way. No way. Still throw 90? No way, Jose. I mean, he's 77. Wasn't there a story that Nolan Ryan, like at the time, was suggested to have what I guess was Tommy John surgery

and he's like, nope, and then it healed itself in the off season. This is the bullshit I won't allow from you young people who don't know anything, okay? Telling me Nolan Ryan is overrated. I want you to put on the screen here, hold on a second, Chris. I wanna put on the screen here Lenny Kravitz right now at the age of 60.

I wanna look. I would vote for this man for president right now if you put him on the ballot, just because he takes care of himself and I'd like that from a president to seems to take care of himself well nolin ryan who like invented throwing harder than everyone else and never broke down

uh... throwing a hundred miles an hour and having however many no hitters you will not blaspheme against no one ryan by telling me billy bunt billy bunt can fall off anything a 77 year old yes, I can no I can absolutely need to set it up then I 14 years ago. He only threw 85 okay Which is impressive as a 63 year old, but that was like a thing he did at 63 all right now He's throwing breaking stuff. Let's see what Billy does with that You underestimate how good these people are through eternity. Not at 77. Okay. I mean he had 292 losses. You're an ageist. Wait, through eternity you think if I pitch

Nolan Ryan is younger than our presidential candidate? His horse is going to hit a home run? Get out of here. Babe Ruth. Oh, you'd hit a gapper off the presidential candidates too. I'm with you Billy Well, that's true you yes for sure you guys win binds golf swing you haven't seen it Man, that would have been electric, huh? I would have played golf I'm telling you it would be the highest rated golf match sporting event a match on TNT They were playing for the president. Can you imagine what is Netflix doing? They were playing for the president imagine. What is Netflix doing? Think we want to see Kobe Ashi again come on winning. What is Netflix do well put that on okay? Let's yeah, we should go just lowest common denominator. I was a six man. He's like I've seen you I've seen your swing

What are you doing there? That was my Biden into my fake truck. Yeah, I need to work on that Shane Gillis is killing you come Come on man. We gotta come together Man, that's my Biden. He says that's your Biden says man that much never good when I'm confused as to which of the candidates Want to have a conversation with a limited fake Pierce Brosnan from 1997's Dante's Peak Now he's just doing Shane Gillis as Joe Biden 97 Dante speak. What are we doing? We got to come together. I'm gonna turn into a Roomba Now he's just doing Shane Gillis as Joe Biden Stu gots here for my friends over at simply safe Imagine a burglary at your home if you're picturing a shady character sneaking about under the cloak of night You may be surprised to learn that according to the FBI Most break-ins happen during broad daylight and spike during the summer months as more homes had unattended and the days grow longer

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