The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Are We Human Or Are We Samson? (feat. David Samson)

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

David Samson joins the show for The Big Suey, but before we can get to any of the topics we have in store for him, it's time to revisit yesterday's song by Rose destined for a Suey victory. Then, Stugotz argues with Samson over the origins of the Golden At-Bat as David says HE deserves credit for the original idea and that Stu stole it from him. Plus, we find out some more about David and his relationship with speaking to his family at a restaurant that makes us question how human he truly is. Also, Ichiro, Army figurines, Sister Jean's snub, and Jeremy takes the risk of following Rose with a song. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to DraftKings Network. Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries

that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face and the habitual liar. It is rare, I would say, that something that happens on this show startles me. Just catches me totally off guard. And I will tell you that I have been

just neglecting what is clearly a superstar talent in our building that I did not know was just hiding in the kitchen area and losing her wallet and getting, you know, doing basically war video photography that gets her pepper sprayed. And she just, she's a very eager and likable person. But I had no idea that she had the voice of an angel.

And so Rose was pepper sprayed. And you guys stunned me yesterday when I realized Rose who speaks in a very thick accent loses that accent when singing. There was no need for peppers sprayed to leave the rain down on me Time left I injury State sucks drama you lost that's the deal the video Clearly shows with my eye almost blinded. There's Harry and Lucy laughing Baby, I can tell you that I'm pissed that it rose with the spray Oh, she sounded like a goose who stepped on with heels, yeah Even though Rose was in doom, this Harry and Lucy laughing

Even though I wasn't doomed, there's Harry and Lucy laughing. How is it possible that the same person who produced that goose sound is the person who sounds like Shakira in this song? It's impossible. Dan, I spent the majority of last night listening to this song on repeat with my wife and I was like, cause she knows Rose. She's obviously been to MMA hangouts and stuff by the way, this weekend at Casa Tiki, 10 PM on Saturday, on Saturday, but well done. Thank you.

Um, I was like,. on Saturday. But. Well done. Thank you. I was like, this voice is transcendent. This voice is superstar folk. She sounds like Jewel at Coachella Live. She sounds incredible. I'm telling you, I was moved by that song. So was I. I wanna make fun of Yeti for making sure

that he was in this too. Which he did. Which he did. But his part is also really good. Yeti hits those notes from the loins. He was all right. But Dan, the pain that you hear, can we, can we go to the, to the end? Go, let me go to all the way to the end here where the music stops and she's just

singing acapella. Listen to the pain in his voice, Dan. Even though I wasn't doomed There's Harry and Lucy laughing See, that's the thing. Goosebumps. It's not just goosebumps. Are you kidding me? I was transported, I was transported to a field where football players were fighting and Rose's pepper spray, she's on the ground crying

and the pain of, they're my friends and they're pointing and laughing the pain of that I felt it. I felt it in her gotta make a music video for this You this is a star in the making Rose you could catch her on the hockey show with Dwork and Roy and I believe that she is headed for So funny about Dwork work I had the same reaction You can catch her on the so funny about Dwork. Dwork? I had the same reaction. It is. I have to be honest.

You can catch her on the hockey show with Dwork. It is. I don't know. You're laughing at the guy's name. I don't know. You guys are laughing hysterically at the guy's name. I was just saying his name. He gets it. It's a funny name. You know what? Izzy, you're going to have to get out of here. Why? What'd he do?

I liked your joke too much. It wasn't a joke, it was just a name. But I just said a name and you derailed the show because I've got to get to Samson. Let me get to Samson. David Samson is here of nothing personal and we've got serious business things to discuss with him and also we really do need the nation to understand that Rob Manfred has stolen an idea. Now, we have the sound here that Stugatz believes, proves,

that we invented the idea of the golden at bat, and that Rob Manfred stole it, but David Sampson is now claiming, because we haven't gotten that off the ground yet, David Sampson claims that we are all roar and no reach. And if this happened to a show people were listening to, this kind of thievery, that you rejected, the commissioner rejected Stugatz's idea laughing,

and now he steals it without crediting Stugatz. The sound you're gonna play for David and the audience is from August of 2014. Right, but Sampson is here to claim. Look, Sampson's got a different claim. And you were yelling at him yesterday on the air. Because Sampson claims he invented the golden at bat. Well, mine's the magic at bat.

But anyway, let's play the sound first for David so he can hear it. This is August 2014 where I pitched the idea to Rob Manfred. No, this is our show 2014 just we this was the first time we talked about it and then we pitched it to him a couple years We went over this while you were interviewing the Syracuse quarterback. He was great by the way He was so good. Mike's gonna be so good to me. I don't know why you decided to waddle in here and throw the video when you haven't listened to anything we're doing. I don't know why you would do that. It's a fair point there. What I was saying what Mike and Mike Ryan and I were discussing is I think one of the problems with baseball

Dan and no one's really talking about it is everyone sitting here trying to fix something that I think is probably probably unfixable but everyone's trying to fix it. The real problem with baseball is, when you go to a basketball game, you go to a Cavs game, you're gonna see LeBron James for 90% of the game, and he's gonna give you 27, eight and eight, and you're probably gonna see a dunk or a pass

that you've never seen before, and you're gonna leave happy. When you go to a baseball game, an Anaheim Angel game, you're gonna see Mike Trout, every third inning, he has a better chance of going 0 for 4 than he does going 4 for 4 with a home run and 4 RBIs And you're gonna see Howie Kendrick just as much as you get to see Mike Trout. I go to a Cavs game I'm not gonna see John Lucas the third. I'm only going to see LeBron James. John Lucas the third is a backup card I know you're having my check it right now on the Cleveland Cavaliers. I'm not gonna see him I'm gonna see Lebron So what I'm trying to figure out Mike and I are trying to figure out is I want to go in an angel game

And I want to see my try to reading it. What are the magic at bats? How are you doing the magic at bat like each manager has like four or five magic at bats in his back pocket? All right, so let's say it's like second lights. Let Mike trout gets out in the first inning But in the second inning, it's second and third and there's one out. He has the option in that spot of putting Mike Trout back in the game. You see Mike Trout two innings a row. Genius. That's his idea. And his idea allows for a certain amount of theatrics. Like you could like throw like a, like something like a, like a, like a smoke bomb or something magic at bad time. Like, something like a like a like a smoke bomb or something magic at bad time like

you throw out the smoke bomb onto the field yeah yeah okay a smoke bomb yeah yeah yeah just like a like a little firework like a little cherry bomb magic yeah all right time for a magic at bat oh mike socia is on the field mike socia is throwing the smoke bomb time for a magic at bat it's a lot cooler aesthetically than like a red challenge flag And they're trying to appeal to a younger audience Imagine how much a younger audience would love the smoke bomb and then there's Mike trout coming out emerging from the smoke bomb a wise and smart television sports show that was immaculate immaculately produced and spoken would have gone to the sound of Stugots telling that directly to Manfred,

and Manfred laughing it out of the room. But now you have your proof from 10 years ago, Samson, that Stu Gotts invented the magic at bat. Why were you shaking your head no throughout that? Because we were talking about this in an owners meeting committee well before 2014. So Stu, where you came up with that is from a conversation that we must have had

when I was on the competition committee talking about the possibility of this golden at bat. Yeah. And then you purloined it, made it your own into a best seller. And now I don't know if you're going to take distance or you're going to try to take the credit, but you certainly have your audience and fan base and Stu got sorry behind you. But it's just completely made up. You did not have the original idea. Where's your proof inside baseball? That is everyone who's inside baseball would say when we talked about expanding to 32 teams, making eight divisions of four,

maybe taking away the American League and National League, changing the rules, pitch clock. All of these things were discussed well over a decade ago. And it's just funny to me that you're trying to glom onto it and it's even funnier that I should try to separate myself from it because it's being laughed at as a total mockery and you're running toward it. So maybe I should just give it to you, but I can't. You know what our proof is? A closed-door meeting that only the highest people of

baseball actually get to attend and no things ever leak from. There's no way that you would have ever heard something like that from it. It doesn't count until you speak it into a microphone. Exactly right. That's it. I would not want... Spoken by someone who speaks into a microphone. I would not want Tony as my attorney. Although now that I think about it... Objection, you're on. Are you kidding me? spoken by someone who speaks into a microphone. I would not want Tony as my attorney. Oh, I would. Although, now that I think about it. Objection, Your Honor. Are you kidding me?

You know what, Tony, I might. It's about pomp and circumstance, Dan. That's what you don't get. Thank you. I think I would like Judge Tony and all of your general choose many. Yes, I would. I think I would.

You want me to be the judge, the jury, and the executioner. What do you want me to be here's here's the thing though David and this is where you lose your argument to Tony you're a lawyer you're great at debate you are great at proving things when he says to you after playing the wrong sound here's my proof and then he asks you where's your proof and And you say inside baseball, you lose case dismissed. Like there is no proof from you there, none. So I'm not debating this.

I'm not actually trying to win anybody's voices, opinions or minds over. I'm merely trying to tell you what the facts are, but clearly you can interpret them as you will. You're using proof of 2014 sound, which by the way, the audience will clearly see the difference between 14 and 24. It's funny to me. But if you ask people, the Jason Stark article that started this entire

thing two days ago in the athletic stew, were you mentioned in the article as the originator of the Golden App ad or was I? Maybe it was you, it should have been me. I mean, I'm just. This is why we're outraged as a show. Like if we had genuine reach, people would take up this cause and understand that Rob Manfred

has stolen a perfectly good idea, intellectual property of our favorite court jester. One that he rejected when he was on the air with me. Laugh that, laugh that. That sound should be being, that sound should be being played by every sports show in America. The commissioner of baseball,

what are you laughing about David? The commissioner of baseball, the commissioner of baseball had an idea that everyone is already talking about and laughing about because it represents more change in a rule than the sport has ever known, maybe since the DH, in terms of changing the numbers and absurdity.

And this rule change was offered to him 10 years ago and stolen from Stugatz. And in a week of great jokes where he's a best seller with a book that he has neither read nor written Or Stu gots is the best joke to be better than that one for Stu gots is better Did you know the weak Stu gots is having a church didn't have enough pews? For what it is that he was bringing tonight with Greg Cody dragging for what it is that he was bringing tonight with Greg Cody, dragging Greg Cody's lifeless enemy

of Fun Corps to the church to sell books. He made a better joke than that one. The commissioner of baseball is being laughed at for a terrible idea. A terrible idea that they do not yet know is a bad idea stolen from one of the great idiots in the history of sports media. Thank you. Great idea.

The interview that you are referring to, by the way, within the halls of baseball has been erased. There is nowhere that it's talked about. As a matter of fact, if you ask the commissioner, he would deny that he ever went on a show with you. He would. You're right about that. He would deny that he ever went on a show with you. He would, you're right about that. He would deny that bad news. It's evidence a one.

Hey, Stu gots, I brought my son a copy of your book yesterday, right? And he opened it. It was a Hanukkah present. He opens it. He looks at the book and the first words out of his mouth. Wait, student, right? This did he? He knows me well.

Can you imagine? I can. Congratulations to you for spending quality time with your son. It was talking about you. And then we went to a dinner where there were other people talking. So it was fine. But I will tell you that for him to have that reaction, he's going to share it with all of his friends in his apartment and in his area because he wants to be the judge and jury

about the quality of the writing. So I'm looking forward to giving you a report on that. All right, so David does his own show within a show. He's been talking for a long time to himself. I showed Jeremy how that works one day and actually walked him into a room where David Sampson was alone with his thoughts for 50 minutes and put him in front of the television and just sort of said to Jeremy you're not gonna ever want to do

this in your life talk to yourself for 50 minutes look at what it feels like David Samson within this show is talking so much now that he does his own show inside of the show and just drops in I was at dinner with my son and other people were talking so it was fine and you just throw it in there and what are own show inside of the show and just drops in, I was at dinner with my son and other people were talking so it was fine. And you just throw it in there and what are we supposed to do with that if you're not going to explain like, did you not want to talk to your son? Who are you trying to tell that? Like, what do you, why is that detail in the middle of that story?

Because it informs how dinners go for me. I'm not able to, the irony is I get paid to talk, but when it comes to time with my kids, my tongue is tied, I don't know what to talk about. And so I will engage like an old father would do with the stewardess, with the waitress, or with the host, or with other people in the restaurant in an effort to have some sort of discomfort alleviated by sitting in silence, which is my kryptonite.

I can't deal with that. It sounds like David has to remind himself on occasion that he is a human being. So he looks around and says, oh, they are speaking, we can speak now. I mean, just ask him how he's doing. So I come with it like a list of things I put in my notes. I make a list of things that I wanna cover

or that I wanna ask so I can foment conversation. And so I'll say how our classes, what are plans for graduation? What is going on with an apartment for post-graduation? Do you check them off? How's your social life? So I love where your head's at. The problem is I need the reading glasses.

So it turns out that I'm pressing buttons on my notes during the dinner and I'm erasing stuff that I need to get to. So I have to hit the undelete button. So what do I do? I excuse myself to pretend to use the restroom in order to recollect my thoughts. That actually happened last night. I kid you not.

It was not smooth. What did you say is? I said, maybe he's not human. No, I am. I wanna be better, Izzy, but I just can't think of anything to talk about. If he can do a song, I am, I wanna be better, Izzy, but I just can't think of anything to talk about. If he can do a song, I am, I wanna be a human, and that cry that you just heard, but I am,

just insisting from the bottom of well of empty loneliness where he lives, but I am a human. I talk about billion dollar deals every day all the way to the grave. It's nothing personal. Not my family, not Thanksgiving, nothing is personal. It's just all business. He used my book as a conversation starter with his son.

Hide in the work, just hide deep in the work. Hide deep in the work, David. Talk to yourself, do a show within a show, go deep into your narcissism so you could die alone. This is even better. I'm sorry, but I had my pile of Hanukkah gifts ready to go and I have a stack of Stu's books that I have because I bought to support him and as I'm leaving to get on the train

to schlep for the dinner. I was like, wait a minute. This is perfect. I get on my phone. I add disgust to God book, and I put the book unwrapped in the other press. That's how it happens. Is this one of your better or worse Chanukah gifts?

Because I think it's a horrible gift, no offense to you. No doubt. Oh, I think it was perfect. It was like four and a half minutes of conversation. It way outkicked its coverage. You timed it. You timed the conversation. Do you ever use Coca to produce your dinners with your son like coca? What can I talk?

Give me some questions. No, I just do rundowns No No Come on David David Can we stop? Live is this live no, okay. Yes, then we can keep going David I Want to see a run?

Have no idea how uncomfortable it is for me to spend alone time with anybody like any of my children or people in my family alone time with anybody like any of my children or people in my family. So I need lists. So I do it, whether it's dinner with my mother or whatever it is, I have a list. Look at this, a palpable sadness is swept over the room as you laugh and... I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry. Be sorry to your family. Do you believe your own plea that I am human? Do you have proof? My heart is beating right now at 52 beats a minute. I feel good. I'm ready to go record a sporting class for Metal Arc. Everything's going fine.

There's a ton of sports business things to talk about. There's serious things going on in the world. I was just trying to let you know what I did last night, schlepping two hours on a train both ways for a dinner. And I made it through. And one of the issues is we choose restaurants where the food comes quickly, not fast food, but semi fast food. And in New Haven, there's a ton of pizza places like that.

And so I'm able to really get through it perfectly and then get to the train station early. Howdy folks it's Mike and guess what it's Miller time. The holiday season brings around lots of joy and also lots of family, lots of family gatherings at your home. You're inviting people in there and you want to make sure they're happy. Why don't you make their time at your place a Miller time? Pass around that beautiful white can of Triple Hop's Brewed Miller Lite and watch the smiles adorn those faces.

Make Miller Lite the official drink, the official beverage of your holiday get together. You know why? Because it is a perfect beer for the holiday season. You'll take a sip, you'll look around, and you'll think immediately, yeah, I made the right call. It's got tastes that you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks, just great beer for people who like beer. Making memories at year-end gatherings? Tastes like Miller time! Go to MillerLight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere

they sell beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Fewer calories and carbs than premium regular beer. You got here right now. My friends over at Simply Safe are extending their massive Black Friday deal for our Levitard show listeners. SimpliSafe is the home security I trust to keep my home and family safe. I've been telling you that for years. This is your last chance to protect your home at SimpliSafe's lowest prices of the year. SimpliSafe is a new way to protect your home that stops intruders before they break into your home. Old school systems only take action once someone is already inside your home.

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So I take the opportunity to fire whenever I possibly can because I can use it as a learning experience for them and try to help them out and try to point out what they did wrong. But in this case, the employee was enough levels below where I was that I did not do the firing, but I had it done within moments of discovery. I like firing people.

It's just absurd. It's absurd. Stugats. I'm talking about people who I fire who deserve it, who have done something that actively requires me to fire them. It is my unadulterated pleasure to do so. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the StuGuts. Can I get some help from the room please?

Because Izzy was very nice and soft about no offense Stu but that's a terrible gift and I wanted to hurl Izzy into the ocean. It's a great gift. It's this holiday season stugotsbook.com there is no better gift like it's one of the best jokes this show has ever told. Like what do you mean it's a terrible gift. I really was surprised that Stu got to ate that from you. I mean, how many gifts does your son get, David? Is that the only thing that you're giving him? Eight. So it's actually seven because one of them is a is a donation. But so seven

gifts, but eight, eight, eight total gifts. A donation to the human fund. Like, what do you mean? You're donating something to somebody else. You're my present to some other guy No, do we do a charity as one of the gifts hmm? Hmm one of the nights weird I mean it's a reason for the season Tony Sure, yeah weird. I mean giving charity on someone's behalf. What if they don't want to give charity? What if they want the gift? I mean from dad You know you think it's weird to give charity as a gift?

I think there's not a single kid out there that wants dad to write a check to a charity as opposed to getting a gift. In David's defense, it is a tax write-off, so. Heavy Chanukah. You can make that another thing you guys do, like give me my eight presents for Hanukkah, but also on the side,

we can also do the charitable thing after, you know? I get all eight and we do something else, you know? You're the non-human now, Tony. No, this is a very human thing that we do do, is that there is a, for charity, we make sure that the three kids get together each year to decide amongst themselves which charities they want to support. So, foment closeness in the family, except then I got uninvited to participate in it. So now the three kids do it on their own.

What happened with Thanksgiving? How'd that go for you? I took whoever had the over of 90 minutes wins. It was 118 minutes. I was in and out and apparently there was all sorts of things going on that I was not aware of. Why? Because I was able to do metalwork work at my sister's house, which enabled me not to have to be at the table. And there were assigned seats where I was put in the perfect seat at the end, where I could just leave and come back whenever I wanted. But I felt so guilty not interacting with people at the end of

the table that I ended up moving in the middle of the dinner for about six minutes. And then I left and it was pointed out to me the next day that I was the last one to arrive and the first one to leave. And people were wondering whether I was okay. Do you make your plate first when you're in a group setting like that? So you don't have to touch the utensils after people have touched it? Another great point. It is a buffet and my sister as a gift to me each Thanksgiving or whenever I have dinner there, allows me to open the buffet every time.

And I take fun. Some people, family members are weird. They go up two, three, four times to the buffet. I just go once, take everything I'm going to eat for the dinner, sit down and then I'm finished and don't go back up. Two seconds. I don't go back up. Two seconds? I don't go back for a full second, but you go back to the sides.

With mac and cheese. The sides that you really love. Like the plate's full the first time. Plate number two is usually about half the size, but just going back to the sides that you really wanna go back to. I'm a one and done, Cody. That's it, one and done.

You have to know what you want, take it, estimate properly, and then not go back there because when you go back for seconds, everything's been ravaged. That's true. I'd say that presumably these are people who know you and like, or maybe even love you. It feels like they're putting you

in an uncomfortable situation time after time. Do they just think about not inviting you next time? I mean, listen, things aren't going that well for me, so. I think I understand mean, listen, things aren't going that well for me. So. I think I understand now, Dan, why he does a show by himself is because he is not human. And if he doesn't talk for a good amount of time, he accidentally shuts down. But you can just not talk, David.

You know that, right? Like at the dinner table, like you don't have to talk to anybody. You can just kind of sit there, do your thing, be on your phone. That's what half the people are doing anyway. But you have to know that when I'm at a place like that, so it's supposed to be family,

but there's always ancillary family, which is not related to me in any way. It's related to the people I'm related to, and they're given instructions, which I appreciate because I've gone through with a list of what I'm allowed to be. I don't want to be approached to talk about things. And there was a violator this Thanksgiving.

Someone came up to me and said, I'm sorry to bother you. Would you be willing to talk baseball with me for a few minutes? Where is Juan Soto gonna sign? And luckily, luckily my sister saw this approach, immediately stepped in and distracted me by saying, can you help with the cougle? So I did not have to engage with this stranger

on this topic, which I had zero interest in discussing. So those are also accommodations that are made for me, which I truly appreciate because I really don't want to engage in small talk with strangers. It was my father-in-law hit me last night with hearing anything about Soto. And it's like, what would I know? What would I know?

But hold on a second though. Okay, so we're in all in the information business and David is an expert on both baseball and business. And it is funny to see this expertise on the sporting class and everywhere else when I'm gonna play the sound again, cause it's amazing. David Sampson, who is close personal friends with Etrura

was so worried once upon a time about the salary skyrocketing in this sport of baseball that he got infuriated because, no, no, he got infuriated that Ichiro, what, what David, that Ichiro signed a hundred thousand dollar, a hundred million dollar deal. And, this also must infuriate David, Soto turned down 400 million from Washington washington i was like how could he

turn that down because now he's going to get between six hundred seven hundred million and that the dodgers are deferring a billion dollars in payment in the sport and what's going on in the business of the sport is a bit crazy but let's play the sound for the audience of david samson many years ago talking about what an apocalypse the hundred million dollar contract was going to be i i i am i am speechless by that contract i'm hoping that that report is false

because there's no chance that the top of the lineup the ticket to the church at anybody's work back any chiro the who'd let his team to zero nothing i am and i hope you're on them it's unbelievable you know what everybody gets what they deserve and uh... i guess maybe that'll be more luxury tax money and more revenue

sharing my i'll have to give uh... but signing i'm sure it can't be true there's no way to get twenty million a year to a chair up at his age for five years there's no way it is true this is't wrong. It can't be Dan. It literally it'll take the sport down that contract they'll write back to the ridiculous contracts it can't be. Your sports out of control. Well signing Ichiro to 20 million

years for five years is a joke it's inexcusable it's complete mismanagement it can't be true. It sounds like Dan was somewhere in a bunker in World War two trying to relay a message to David who was also in a subsequent bunker somewhere else on the front lines and Speaking to him by like you remember the army guys who used to have the little army figurines You would have like the guy with the bazooka you'd have like the guy with the gun and then you have the one guy with Like the the radio pack communications kid you're like that guy sucks So you're saying I guy sucks so you're saying I sound like a walkie-talkie I was waiting for an over because there's no chance over I feel now like I'm a ship at sea there's no chance I'm trying

to get communications from David as I'm battered by the storm and he hits me on the walkie-talkie from his system anybody's worth that Dan I'm battered by the storm and he hits me on the walkie talkie from his system. Anybody's worth that. Dan, I'm begging you to stop now. I'm literally begging you to stop. It's almost impossible for me to believe that this is what you're doing today. I can't compute it. The good news is I discussed this with each row when he was part of our team with the Marlins for many years

because he heard that when it came out because of the roar and the reach of your show. Side note, I was in San Francisco in front of those, the creatures that rip the babies off the pier, sea lions or seals, whichever they are. That's a crazy way to say sea lion. So I was in San Francisco with family I'm sea lions or seals, whichever they are. That's a crazy way to say sea lion. So I was in San Francisco with family

and I stepped away to do your show and you're bringing this up now, today of all days. I'm sorry, David. Jessica was doing a better show than this one in my ear on some of what I said. David, wait, you said the things in San Francisco that rip the, what was it? Rip the babies from their parents?

I said Democrats in Dan's ear. It was a little joke from our friends. David, I heard that today is National Communicate with Your Kids Day, December 5th. How do you intend to celebrate with your children? I don't. I'm serious. I googled it. What am I supposed to do? You're not going to celebrate?

Should I text them so I don't get a response? Hey, why don't you? Should I call them so it goes to voicemail? What would be your suggestion for national communication with your kids? Hey, did you read any of Stugatsa's book? What did you think? I love you. Start with that.

I love you. I want to stop you guys for just a second because Tony was also doing his own show in my ear and he surprised me there with one of my favorite characters around here, which is the second conservative, Zagacki, who works in even tighter windows and hadn't been around here in a while. And the reason I appreciated that degree of difficulty that he embarked upon is because Jeremy, at the beginning of this entire conversation, ran out of this room, hair on fire, and Jeremy that degree of difficulty that he uh... that he embarked upon is because jeremy at the beginning of this entire conversation ran out of this room

hair on fire and just shouted i've got fourteen minutes to create a song uh... he is preparing right now in the other room something that serenades david's family sadness and he's trying to produce it in fifteen minutes of time uh... because he doesn't want to live a life where he becomes David Sampson talking to himself on a solo show. He wants to play the xylophone on heat sidelines while singing songs.

He wants that to be how he covers sports. We've been busy drinking champagne. Oh, I am so here for her. Him. Don't mess with me on the pronouns. We don't do pronouns, Dan. I can't believe Jeremy wants to follow Rose. I mean, that is a dangerous game.

I mean, unbelievable. Well, good. Let's see here. If he's going to take on these challenges, he's got six minutes now. Like, he left in a total panic. And I've got plenty to talk to David about if you guys don't want to talk about his family anymore.

But I could spend the rest of the show in this particular nest. Like, his weird idiosyncrasies at home, I can go through all of them, and you guys will understand how he is at the bottom of a well shouting, I am, I am human when you ask him if he's human. I have a way to figure out if David is human or not.

We have a very sad video clip that we wanted to talk about of something that happened yesterday, and I wanna play it for David and get his honest reaction to it. It's a B-roll clip, so just talk over it. So this is Sister Jean, and she is at the game, and she is what now, 105 years old? Oh.

And she's in a wheelchair, and she has been a mascot for this team that is its most famous member, and they're walking right past her without shaking her hands, without touching her hand. She's got a fist out for a pound, and everyone's ignoring her. 28 did. 28 gave a little bit of a dap.

I think the guy in front of 28 also had his hand down like he did. I blame the guy in the sweater on the other side because he's getting all the attention. He's getting all the high fives. I just, it's that guy's fault. I don't believe this was done intentional. I can't believe they would do this to Sister Jean.

David, does this make you feel anything? No, this is a logistics issue. Her wheelchair is on the wrong side of the line. She needed to be stage right, not stage left. I don't know whether she can extend her right hand at her age, but if she can, you put the wheelchair on the other side, have the right hand out, and you got yourself a bunch of high fives.

This is a great- And someone should have noticed that in between. Once four players pass her, you stop the train of players, you move the wheelchair across the aisle, and then get the last group. Please, as fast as you can, create for me the new hit television game show where you ask David questions, did you feel something there? And the answer is always, this is a logistics issue.

Please let's play that game and that show where you get proven at every turn that he's not human, that he's not in any, that you would look at that video, heartbreaking video of an old woman being snubbed at the end of her life by a team she dedicated her love and her religion to. She's the most famous member of that team. She carried them to heights no one had seen college basketball go before. They are ignoring her. You see a logistics issue. I just want to solve the problem that's what I do I see a problem and I solve it and this is a problem I agree with

you do I feel something to know, but what I feel is I can fix this and I can fix it quickly and I would have fixed it at the time. This is a logistics issue was the best answer he could have given there. But I'm what I'm saying to you is if you ask him questions, that will be his first sentence 10 out of 10 times. Some form of that will come out of his mouth because he's not human.

Like this is a game show. We can absolutely play with him where we ask him these questions. But can you explain to me please, David, the billion dollars in deferred payments? Like I don't understand what's happening in the business of sports. So let me actually go back.

And you said that Soto is gonna get six to 700 million. That's been widely reported, but it's all ignorant reporting because until you see the amount of deferred comp in the offer, you don't know how much money Soto's actually getting. So the example is Shohei Otani. People say he got $700 million over 10 years. That's not accurate. His contract is actually $700 million over 20 years. And

when you present value it back in today's dollars, it's the equivalent of about $460 million over the 10-year contract. So he's not making 70 year. He's making 46 a year. And the reason the Dodgers defer all this money is they take money they owe to players and they reinvest it elsewhere and they make money on that money. And then they take the money they've made to pay the player in the future. It is a great game. The Mets played it with Bobby Bonilla. All of you know about this. I don't know where Stu is, but this is a real thing called Bobby Bonilla Day where he still gets a million and a half dollars 20 years after he played because what the Mets did is they took the money they would have paid to Bonilla. They

gave it to Madoff and said, we're going to make 10% and we're going to pay Bonilla 1%. We just made ourselves 9%. So it's a business move that the Dodgers make both to make money on their players, but also to not have as much present day outflow of cash. So if players are willing to accept it, which many are, because it keeps them making money after they're done playing, it's a win-win. Jessica, you can't keep doing that show in my ear. You can't keep doing the show just in my ear

as I'm going to David Sampson. Let's hear it. No, it's a great... We're workshopping a game to play with David. It is a great game show, but what you just asked in my ear is not something that I can ask him even though it would have been dark leaf I like it's a spicy one It's much it's much funnier much funnier in my ear than it would be on air where I think it would get us all in

Trouble that's fair. That's why I was trying to do it while David Say no. Yes, we can move on. Let's play feelings or logistics but you can say no and then we can move on. Let's play Feelings or Logistics. Kirk Herbstreet bringing his dog to college game day and his games. Feeling or Logistics? Outrageous. There's really no place for that.

That seems like a feeling. This is a good game. It's a good game. You guys could hit him with an assortment of things and all he's gonna do is land on business every time. Cold business. Not true. That's not true.

You know what, Dan? Stop. Just stop. You wanna play the game, I'll play the game. But don't paint me as something that I may or may not be based on things that you're gonna make up just to try in an ear doing a show that I'm not privy to because it's not in my ear.

The audience isn't privy to, and you're doing these private things, what is the benefit of that? Is that making the show better somehow? Not in my mind. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. It feels like a feeling and Jessica's doing- But it was a logistical issue.

Jessica was doing a very good show in my ear. I can tell you about it later, but you're right. It plays defense. She knows. It plays defense against. As asking me a thing that would get us all in a lot of trouble. As you stop talking in the show reverts to me. Just ask it. And just ask it. Demar Hamlin playing football after dying on the field last year. Feeling or logistics? Do we want to do a private show in the year? You want me to answer that question?

Which one totally up to you, you know, I'm happy to answer it. I'm very happy for Damar Hamlin. It was like a lightning bolt. It was incredibly unlucky what happened in with that hit and he's the odds are really good that it's not going to happen to him twice. So of course I was happy. I don't know what happy is the correct emotion there.

Wait, the arbiter of emotions? Wow. This is actually not a pleasant segment or whatever it is that this is. There's an emotion. Nothing. Why don't you go ahead and tell me what was in the ear? Because I think the audience would be interested

in the show within the show. You know what, David? You are totally right here. But what I'm saying is that if I do what Jessica suggests that I do right now. Not with the music we're not doing. It would be deeply and darkly funny and also wildly not appropriate right now.

It's the thing that Izzy wanted to come in and talk about today and as he started talking about it, I'm like, that's what I usually do to the show. I start with stuff that's that serious. Is there a movie that you're reviewing for us this week, David? Thank you, Jessica, there is, and this is actually an important movie

for all of us to watch. It's called Buy Now, The Shopping Conspiracy. It's a movie on Netflix. It's a documentary. It's maybe an hour and 13 minutes. It is about Amazon, among other companies, and the waste on our planet from all of the consumption that we do, where the manufacturers of our items, like our phones or our clothes,

there's no, quote, end- end of life plan for these items. And forget the BS of recycling and all that nonsense, which doesn't actually work. The reality is that we don't know what to do with everything we're wasting. And these companies, and I am so guilty of this because I'm a TikTok, Instagram, Facebook shopper constantly. One click at my door the next day that all of the waste that I'm contributing to is sickening. And so here's the suggestion in the movie. If you want something, put it in a cart and let it sit for 30 days.

And if you still want it, then buy it. But as a company, we don't allow that because if you go to lebatardaf.com or davidsamsonpodcast.com and you put a piece of merch in the cart, we're going to send you an email every day, twice a day sometimes saying, oh, did you forget about your cart? Because we want you to buy what's in the cart. So there's no interest at all to improve our lot in life, which is to ruin the earth with this waste, because we are people of consumption. And my takeaway from the movie folks, spoiler alert, there's a few people out there trying to help,

but it is putting a finger in the dam of waste. I believe that we are in the apocalyptic hellscape portion of we get so much convenience sent to our house with jet fuel and in boxes that we're throwing away that we're ruining the environment faster than it's ever been ruined so that we can all die together one day, poor before rich. Gonna make sure that Elon Musk lives in

space somewhere with all of our this Dan this sounds like a logistical issue to me it does something to do with all your you're so right let's see what Jeremy produced here in a panic as fast as he could about the hollow sad emptiness that is David Sampson being a robot I did my best to prepare when I saw my son last night. I prepared a list of questions in my notes app, not my mind. And sometimes I get nervous when I have to speak to him So I brought to my son Stu Gotts' book

Are we human? Are we Samson? We cannot talk to our own families. And I'm writing rundowns so I can prepare. Are we human or are we Samson? Good job, Jerry. Good, but not better than Rose though. No, Jerry. Good, but not better than Rose though. No, never. I wouldn't even try to follow Rose.

You just did. Separate situation. Nothing personal is the name of the podcast. Thank you, David. Thank you. Howdy folks, it's Mike. And guess what? It's Miller time. The holiday season brings around lots of joy and also lots of family, lots of family gatherings at your home, you're inviting people in there and you wanna make sure they're happy.

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