The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: As A Father...

Episode Date: March 7, 2025

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The tequila that invented tequila. proximoqueervo.com. Please drink responsibly. Queervo. Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcasts. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan LeBittard Show with Stu Gotz

is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Oh yeah. All right, so what we got going on, Chris? So much. Domino tournaments, March Sadness. What do you wanna start with? I wanna start with the Domino tournament.

Big reveal we got right here. I know no one can tell from this graphic who the celebrity former football player is. I can tell you it's not. I thought you were gonna reveal who the body on Poppy was. No, no, that's Poppy's body. I can tell by the tattoo

because Poppy has that tattoo on his belly. No, I know who it isn't. We solidified it's not Andrew Hawkins because Andrew Hawkins is not a coward. Or De'Von Bess, I believe we figured out it was. Both legends, or Tyler Lockett, all legends. So who is the NFL legend? Let's reveal it. Or Devon Best, I believe we figured out it was. Or both legends, or Tyler Lockett, all legends. So who is the NFL legend? Let's reveal it.

It is, surprisingly, Ricky Williams. No way! I thought we were playing who that is. Oh, it's Ricky Williams. Is that his real body? And Poppy says, why don't you also bring that Eric Moran guy I'll beat his ass to? Who's Eric Moran?

That's Ricky's new name. Is it? Yeah. Oh, that's his actual name, yeah. He gets a reference. I didn't. I'm just inside baseball, it's different. There you go. All right, well there it is.

April 13th, go to Levitard AF if you want all the information. Now which one is showing up? Which Ricky? Three Funeral, both. Thank you. The question, Dan Levitard, no, the video has been located, by the way.

Which one? We asked for several. We asked for several, but the video of the hockey intro that I deemed to be the greatest intro in the history of playoff sports, not just hockey. I'm calling this. Okay. This is B-roll, so we're gonna talk over it. Talk over it, so it's, you gotta, like, of playoff sports, not just hockey. This is B-roll, so we're gonna talk over it.

We're gonna talk over it. So you got a, like it's a grainy video, like oh, is the signal coming in well? I don't know, and then the lights go out, right? And then they put 1930 and 32, 1946, 41, 1947, 41. The evolving logos too. 1952, 41, 1953, 41 1953 41 1954 for zip 1955 41 1957 41

1958 42 1968 or something out of 1969 43 1971 1970 40 1978 42 1979 43 man that's the last time they won 1985 32 1986 30 1985 32 1986 30 1989 41

2002 42 2004 43 2008 43 24 and 8 all time in the playoffs That is the biggest dunk I've ever seen in a pregame intro and it's ballsy right cuz a lot don't do that We don't want to put bulletin board material. They're like, we've got a bulletin board. It's about 100 years old, and we got like 24 wins on it against eight losses. That's the coolest shit I've ever seen in my life. Did we find the monk video?

Have we found that video, Mike? No, man. Still. They successfully scrubbed the internet. Just the one of me making a mistake that you randomly wanted to play, but we don't have to play that. We're gonna play that eventually.

We'll get there eventually. I did have a little bit of an issue, and this kinda drives me crazy when I'm not in the building, a little bit of an issue with the way we talked about Woody Page yesterday. Really? Was it yesterday or two days ago? It was yesterday.

I can't remember it was, is it yesterday? Yesterday. Woody Page. Yeah, there it is. I mean, if and it was yesterday. I mean, that part was funny. I can't say the word. If he actually used that and plagiarized.

That line. No, no, no. That line is in the story. Like he used that line. Was it a real quote? Was it not a real quote? Did he have to write it that way? Probably not, but he wrote it.

He wrote it. So we're gonna be the show that just, who else do we do this with that we have to mention the worst thing that they've done in their career? Everybody. Everybody. Everybody, yeah. Every single person. What was the show, is he?

Never mind that he has been, how long has he been on that show? I'm sure he's done worse. 23 years. Has he? 23 years? Like, when you think of a Woody, you think of Woody Page.

Like, he's gotta be high on your list. I know Woody Harrelson. All right, you know what? Woody from Toy Story. Stop, let's stop. I already got a top five Woody's. I'm gonna get to that in a second. I know.

Wait, on a Friday. But, and this is probably not gonna help his Woody Page nickname, but don't you immediately think of the chalkboard behind him? Like when you think of Woody Plage? You do not think of all this other stuff, right? I was not aware of the plagiarism stuff till yesterday.

I will say that nothing that he writes on the chalkboard is his words. He gets those sent to him and he chooses them. I read the opposite of that. I saw him say that he has like a helper that writes them But that he comes up with all of them So what do you play? So he said that, he said that right now

So Woody Plank says that he writes his own stuff, like he comes up with the content I think you might have read that wrong I trust Chris He gets a lot of people to send him ideas and then his assistant maybe picks the best one and writes it up there or he picks the best one and his assistant writes it up there Not to say he's not that clever, but that's a lot of shows, man, to come up with those. Also really quick, I like the idea of Chris

being no actually to the guy who's been on Around the Horn more than anybody and won more in the history of the damn show. This is like you walking up to Michael Jordan and say, well actually, Gabe Vinson is actually in a plus this year. I'm gonna find this quote. More like Kobe. I'm not really the goat, I'm just the people's goat. There I'm gonna find this quote. More like Kobe.

I'm not really the goat, I'm just the people's goat. There you go, that's good. Like three people. You guys want the top five Woodys now? Of course, give us Woodys. Might as well. I got some OLIs. Oh, some OLIs too.

So first OLI's, because he was kinda canceled, Woody Allen. Kinda. This is also for the younger crowd, right? So if you haven't seen, or if you've never heard of Woody Allen, go watch a documentary about him. That's all you need to know. Really.

Forget about the movies. Oh, really? Yeah. The movies are really good. Pretzel, making me thirsty. Was that him or was that... Cosmo Kramer from Heart of a Woody Allen movie. Kramer was in a Woody Allen movie.

Oh, okay. How about that? All I know about number two, in large part because it's not technically a Woody, Woodrow Wilson. A real piece of shit. You want to talk about pieces of shit? 28th president. Also, if you break it down, Woody Willie, not terrible, right? A little bit of it.

Needs work. I see where you're going. Last OLI, the dude from the show Sex Life Season One, episode three, about 18 minutes in, his name's Adam Demass, also not quite a Woody, but if it was, holy Jesus. To America's. I'm staring, everybody in the room's giving me blank stares. Somebody in that back room, somebody has seen that scene.

Someone popped. All right, number five, and this is just a name thing. Okay. Woody Johnson. Kinda a name thing. Woody Johnson. Kind of like Woody Willie, Woody Johnson, Double Woody. Double Woody's. Uh-huh. Number four, Ron Jeremy. Is that a name thing as well?

First one outside of my own that I ever saw. Not in person, of course. Oh, Shocker. It was a Shocker and it was impressive. Also kind of canceled. Was he? Yeah. I was a shocker and it was impressive also kind of cancelled Was he yeah, I mean was it because of all the sex movies he did or was it other shows? Put him right there with Woody Allen and Woodrow Wilson. That's why he's number four. I wasn't that impressed. Jail? Jail. I mean I was like 13. It's jail right? I think he's in jail. Is he in jail right now? I think so. Oh wow.

He'll be fine in there. Let me ask Chad GPT. That's his latest film, it's called Jail. Are you gonna ask your Chad GPT? Cause it lies to you regularly, Mike. It often does, but I'm strengthening it. There's a sitcom there. You gotta train it. Yeah, I gotta correct it. There's a buddy sitcom there with Mike and his Chad GPT.

Number three, Woody Harrelson. It's only three because if this was like 20 years ago, it would probably be number one. Okay. But number three has gotta be Woody. Number two, Woody Page. There's no way Woody Page is over Woody House. He is in front of, he is on your television screen.

Back then it was every day. These days it's like two days a week. The same reason people know me disproportionately than they do some other television stars, because they're in front of you all the time. That's why Woody Page is number two. So the Jimmy Snuka thing happened to Ron Jeremy, where he was declared mentally incompetent to stand trial on multiple charges of sexual assault in January of 2023 due to incurable

neurocognitive decline. He is not in jail presently. He is in a private residence under care. That's why he's number four and not number two. There it is, because of that. And number one, Woody from Toy Story. No Anthony. Pretty obvious. No Mike Woodson?

The most famous NBA Woody? No, that's very far in the O.L.I.'s. Everyone calls him Woody though. Woody Hayes? Woody Hayes is another one? No Woody Hayes? Has he been in the league for a while? Mike Woodson?

Yeah. As a head coach. I mean he was, he's been, he's the coach of Indiana now so. Again that was the show Sex Life, episode three, or season one, episode three, about 18 minutes in. I found the Woody Page quote.

Oh, I thought you were looking for this. Mr. Around the Horn expert over here, is he? Okay. By the way, yesterday Woody Page tweeted, for all those asking, no I don't know why Around the Horn was canceled, I just show up with a blackboard. And then the next line, yes, I come up with the quote ideas.

My associate Natasha writes them on the board even though she thinks many of them are stupid. I'm just saying like that's. Maybe that's currently the case. But before, and maybe he's forgotten this. So he's lying here. What has he been doing this for a long time? But I seem to remember him getting, you know, him talking about this in the past and him

getting a ton of suggestions. I feel like you started this trying to help his credibility. So is the idea here that the man affectionately nicknamed Woody Plage, we're gonna take his word on whether he wrote the words on the talk board or not? I guess that's what's bothering me about this. He's not affectionately nicknamed Woody Plage. He's only still coming up when we talk about it.

Like, you can go ahead and go on the internet and find it, but nobody's calling him that today. Dan said it. People are calling him Woody Plage. His friends, Dan said his friends say it. I'm one of Dan's friends, so I's calling him that today. Dan said it, people are calling him Woody Page. His friends, Dan said his friends say it. I'm one of Dan's friends, so I'm gonna do it too. I wanna be part of the crowd. We've had one of these in each segment now.

Izzy doesn't like this Woody Page topic, and Mean didn't like the J. Cole topic. Let's move on from both. Moving on, let me do my... Tell J. Cole that I didn't appreciate that in the song Clouds, he cannot perform that thing live because he's clearly, you know, cutting verses on top of verses and not doing all that in one breath.

I think that's impossible. Impossible. I think you can. Okay, then call him up, have him do it on the air. Yeah, there's no chance. Yeah. No chance. Yeah, you do that. You do that. It's your boy, right? It is my boy. That's right. I'm not going to bother him. This would explain why years and years ago he said that he is way better, not just better,

but way better than Kendrick Lamar. Now I understand that. Yeah. He bowed out at that. And that, and he doesn't sound like he sucked on a balloon before he started rapping. My mind says, I don't know, it's Mike Greenberg, basically. It's not all the time.

It's Mike Greenberg rapping. Kendrick has got a couple flows here. He's got several flows. I didn't say the flows are wrong. I'm just saying the voice. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. Yeah, but he does a thing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna.

Kind of like Marshall Mathers did a thing. It sounds nothing like that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I got a question for you guys. That's actually not too bad. Yeah, thank you. Limited fake, put it in the suites. Tony, NFL free agency.

Why doesn't it have the pop of NBA free agency? Because it's like done right after I feel like. Right now we've got a lot of names. What do you say Mike? And also the NFL salary cap is not real. Well that's a whole other story. But there's a lot of stuff that happens where you get all these big names and I feel like NBA free agency is not these teams moving on from big names.

It's like oh where would this guy go? Another team wants to help it him in the NFL It's like you have these massive names Devante Adam Stefan digs Tyler lock and now even though he said he's retiring Khalil Mack Joey both so like you have all these monster names that are basically changing teams because their team said you know what you're not good enough and That's my favorite part of looking through all the different names like oh wait. Where's Devante? I was gonna go It's like that that, it's the bridge that gets us from the combine to the NFL draft, right?

Like we've got a bit of a dry spell in the NFL. It's crazy because everyone says the NFL does it right. You should have free agency before the draft, that way you can draft according to the needs that you weren't able to fill in free agency. But also it makes it where the draft is so much more of a bigger spectacle. And free agency's like, I don't know, whatever.

And that's kind of weird, whereas in the NBA, the draft is a big deal, but then free agency is a way bigger deal. NFL free agency taught me that Joey Bosa is not what he was before. I did not know that. I thought he was still in the prime of his prime, but oh no, he's being released

or going to another team eventually. Didn't really realize he was playing that poorly. Well, he really fascinated with what's happening at Cincinnati because everyone's like, they have to do something about this defense. Now in their defense, they did bring in Al Golden to run it, but they lose Hubbard, they're gonna lose Hendrickson.

Like they're losing their best players. Their best rushers, yeah. That Hubbard retirement was a surprise, right? I was pretty surprised by it. I don't know. Like he's been playing very good ball. Is that one of those, I want to be able to walk my daughter down the aisle for her wedding kind of retirement?

They had to move, it seems as though the way that they're addressing their cap situation, and for whatever reason, with Cincinnati, outside of, well, I understand that they're cheap, but them and the New Orleans Saints, and the New Orleans Saints are on a seven year delay for their malpractice when it came to the salary cap. It's apparently only real for the New Orleans Saints,

and Cincinnati immediately feeling the ramifications of that Joe Burrow deal, and they're going about how they're formatting their roster totally different than how people thought they would, entering the off season. And this is a team that, okay, we understand if this team had a shot, if they got in the playoffs, they would have a shot because they're so talented

on offense, all they need is a little bit of defense and they're losing their best players on defense. Let me ask you guys a question. When you think about football positions, right? Which position would you say has the shortest learning curve? Because some of the stuff is like, you just gotta be in the league a couple of years just for things to slow down.

Probably right on the interior line. You tackle your stun thing, your pulling, garden and DT. That's probably more individual skill work to get to the level that people are in. That's technique, which is, I mean, difficult, but in terms of like, drop a guy in. Execution, let's go get the corner. It's not like a DT's dropping back into coverage

and also has to know coverages. Right, like, that's what I'm specific, regardless of what the learning is, whether it's skill, whether it's coverages, which one is like, the most likely I can get in, a rookie or a young player, and get him up to speed. Non-specialties. I think it's receiver.

Really, why is he? That's like knowing the playbook, the routery, the timing with your quarterback. Knowing the playbook to me is like a basic. You have to know that. You're coming in as an offensive player. It doesn't matter really what position. You kind of have to know the playbook.

But I think in terms of that's the base point, and then you're just kind of learning, hey, getting off on my release on the line, knowing where I'm going on my routes, how to, you know, sort of manipulate a defender, that's about it. It's easier than running back because you also have pass blocking, blitz pickups,

you have to identify what the defense is doing along with the quarterback and center. I guess the way I'm working at this is that it would seem to me in a salary cap sport where every dollar you spend here is a dollar that you can't spend there, that the positions that you should be paying are the ones where the learning curve is the longest, right?

So quarterback, right? Left tackle. Left tackle, right? Versus the ones where it's like, he'll get up to speed by mid-season or whatever. That's the one that you should be having a bunch of young players there and saving money because you can't pay everybody, right?

Like the Cincinnati Bengals are an example of, you can't pay everybody. You're gonna pay him, you're gonna pay Jamar Cheney, you gotta say no to somebody. I've been told by coaches I know far better that I've been all over the position coach tree. Tied end is the toughest to adjust, by the way, from college to the pro.

In terms of a position of development and really putting in the work, getting your technique down, they tell me outside of quarterback, the one that you need the most development in is offensive line. Okay. So I feel it stands to reason then

the way you save money for the Bengals as they are about to have defensive hits here that they've lost is to just go out and get young guys and coach them up right? That's the plan that's like as far as I can tell the only thing that they're doing to address their their really poor defense is bring in Al Golden. You know it's funny because I think about this a lot about getting up to speed and being competent. I for one am someone that can struggle with technology even though I've been raised in the age of technology. Do you ever feel overwhelmed trying to manage your web hosting while juggling a million other tasks?

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The Libertard! Sugar daddies. These things, I'm telling you. I love sugar daddies. I like those too. It gets stuck in your teeth like you can't chew them. They're like impossible to chew. Don LeBatard sugar daddies these things I love sugar dad I like talking your teeth like you can't chew them. They're like impossible to chew they are That is every day stoo guts

This is the done LeBatard show with a stoo guts I saw this hypothetical, one of my favorite reddit's is hypothetical situation. I love it. I love it. This is my childhood. It's like would you for a billion dollars eat nothing but nails every single like that. I love that stuff. I think you must love Mr. Beast. Oh man.

He's, yeah. But I saw one where it said, you have the opportunity to become the greatest player in any sport, right? Automatically, the GOAT. You don't get to make a single dollar off of playing the sport or any direct endorsements. So you can't get a Nike deal because you're the greatest basketball player, for instance.

But any other kind of secondary stuff that you can find, like two degrees separation away, that's all well and done, right? You're physically the same size you are now. You get the quickness and the mental processing of it, like to do it, but again, you get zero salary and obviously you feel pain and all those things. What's the sport that you pick? What would you want to be? A golfer. Golf, yeah, at least taxing for sure.

Come on man, that's not cool though. I mean that's pretty cool. That's not cool. Golfers can be cool. What if I'm gifted things is that a possibility? I don't earn it, but I'm gifted that you can get a salad like all of a sudden I'm a golfer, but Audemars Piguet wants to sponsor you want to give me product instead of money You can give it the give your product you cannot turn around and sell said product for it So I can have a $200,000 watch. I just can't do anything with it except where except where or give it away as a gift

Right to see to me. I kind of feel like it's either I just can't do anything with it except wear it. Except wear it, or give it away as a gift. Right? See, to me, I kind of feel like it's either quarterback or NBA, right? Like, oh, especially just as quarterback, me walking in, kind of looking out of shape and small and stuff, and then just throwing that thing all over the field. I'm thinking of quality of life, though.

I think it seems pretty awesome to be Lewis Hamilton. And I know there are inherent risks. To me like one of the coolest athletes ever, sports stars ever was Dale Earnhardt and he died. There are hazards. Well his dad died. Well I said Dale Earnhardt, I didn't say junior. You didn't say senior either.

I feel like golf, you don't have to play every week. You show up on Wednesday, play a few rounds of golf. You already know you're the goat of course you're gonna be a yeah But the goat is Tiger Woods and the man has his body and it's completely shot But I know that there was a car accident no no no his body was shot before the car accident also The back will go for sure Tiger Woods Was kind of cool with an asterisk Tiger Woods was kind of cool with an asterisk. He's cool for a golfer. Cool for a golfer, right?

Versus like if you're Michael Jordan, if you're Patrick Mahomes or Talon Brady or whatever you want to name him. I mean there's some cool golfers. Max Holm was cool. But isn't the loophole you're looking for here is like, hey, I do all these things, I'm really good at them,

don't have to work that hard, don't have to be taxed like crazy, still get all the fame, fortune, etc. Guys, Wyndham Clark is so cool. You guys are just, you're sleeping on Wyndham Clark. Wyndham Clark is actually really, his name, he's so much cooler than his name gets off, honestly. Where are you staying to meet? The Wyndham Clark.

Oh, I love that spot. They got a nice little jacuzzi right there. Yes, dude, indoors. Golfers also know, I don't know if this is true or not, they also kind of know where the real money is. Like they can go secondhand and be like, yeah, I just make millions over here. I don't need this golf career. I kind of feel like if I'm the best player in the NBA,

people want to be around me. They want to be around me. Too many people want to be around you. That's part of the problem. I don't love that. Well, I mean, like I have people who can keep them away. You're staying at the Wyndham? The Wyndhamham when I'm staying at the T. Y. Hilton Oh the T. Y. Hilton that one you know breakfast by the way exactly the breakfast buffet there is really good

The points not a fan of the point system. Oh the Brandon points. I haven't stayed there The Howard Johnson the Howard Johnson Joe I'm staying at a little boutique the DeChambeau. Oh Lovely spot on the ravine lovely the spa there by the way you got the facial. Oh not that one Top five woodies yeah You guys you guys want to hear Chris messing up? Oh, I'd love to. Would love to, it's one of my favorite things.

Oh, this is so cool, let's do this. So this was a clip of, this is when Witty was with the show and we're talking about Twitter, it's right when Elon took over. I don't really think it needs more context. You guys have the video? I'm filling time until I see it on my screen. No, we have that Habs video though, we can play that back.

It's so cool, it's so cool. It is pretty cool. It's like whenever you defend hockey, there it is, all right. Whenever you defend hockey, you're not doing it well. All right, let's see this, me making a mistake. One day the next Twitter Spaces is gone. Why did it leave?

Because somebody said something mean about Elon Musk on Twitter Spaces once. That's why all of a sudden, platform gone. It's bizarre. Profile picture square now? Now they're squared. If we could have left that rolling and gotten the Jess laugh, it would have been even better.

But what were you trying to say exactly? Because Witty was rolling with like, oh, they're doing this? It's gone. So I just wanted to get in with their profile picture square now? And then I had no, so now they're square. Like I just like, I wanted to like, you know, kind of like alley-oop myself, but I realized there was nothing on the second sentence.

So I just repeated the first sentence. I was waiting for the mess up of like, what word is he going to mess up? And instead profile picture square now, now they're square. It's even better that you didn't mess up any words. You said it perfectly. It's just my brain. Like Br mess up any words. You said it perfectly. Just my brain. Like Brick Tamlin. It was so bad, and if they would have let that roll a little bit, it threw Dan off entirely.

Dan was ready to keep going. Dan starts doing his next sentence, and then five seconds in, realizes the whole room's laughing. He's like, what were you trying to say? What were you trying to do? What were you trying to say? I was just trying to like, alley-oop myself of like, but what was the alley-oop?

They're doing this, now their things are square. Like I trying to like allude myself of like but what was the only they're doing this Now their things are square like I wanted to like set myself up to be like Circle then square he couldn't get round out. He got square out first profile picture square now. What's now? They're sure what's that other shape. I can't think about it. I'm just gonna say square again run it back, please Yeah, play it again one day the next Twitter spaces is gone Why did it leave? Because somebody said something mean about Elon Musk on Twitter Spaces once. That's why all of a sudden, platform gone.

It's bizarre. Profile picture square now? Now they're squared. I was trying to follow Whitty's platform, gone. So I'm just like, profile pictures, square now. That's how I should have done it. The head bob was immaculate. Profile picture square now? One day's how I should have done it. But I did. The head bob was immaculate. Profile pictures, square now.

Twitter Spaces is gone. Why did it leave? Because somebody said something mean about Elon Musk on Twitter Spaces once. That's why all of a sudden, platform, gone. It's bizarre. Profile pictures, square now. Now they're squared.

Guys, by the way, the goat's talking right now. I need someone to go out on assignment. Who wants to volunteer? I need you to go out into the sitting area, the eating area, and go watch. I'll go check. Because I need to know what's happening. That's a pink suit. He's got the Easter suit on.

It ain't even Easter yet. Lent's not over yet, baby. It just started. That's so pink that you can convince yourself some of it is purple. Pink suit club, he's. Okay. You remember? Mike. I'm gonna call it Pitcher Square now. Yeah.

Now it's Square. You remember the part of the show, since we're talking back on the show, where Dan would remind everybody, in case you're just joining us, what we're doing is we're watching first take on our TV screens. Ah, glory days.

And then saying exactly what they said to you. Ah! Oh, speaking of glory days, apologies because of some miscalculations to Sugats's travel schedule. The oral history that is on a biweekly cadence will be broken up a little bit. So if you're anticipating a new oral history episode, you're going to have to wait a little bit.

I wanted to deliver an episode that was still up to this set standard, and doing one without Sugats didn't make sense. Also, while we're cleaning house, go send in a video for our March Sadness Tournament. If you would like to watch a game, the championship game, of the college basketball tournament with Dan, send in videos.

There's more information on the site, but please, we've got a bunch of good submissions. We're trying to get the best 64, and you're competing with other listeners to be funny. Okay, I'm telling you, I'm giving you a hint. If it's serious, don't tell us how long you've been listening. We're getting a lot of like, been listening, like just get to it, be funny, be random,

and you will succeed in this tournament. I think that's the thing I missed the most about callers was hanging up when people would start saying, hey, I'm a long time listener. All due respect, we don't care how long you've been listening. Or the other thing, what they say. I do. Send those to me.

No, I care. No, no, I care, just not in this, tweet me how long you've been listening. Send me your serious ones. But in this competition that you're sending in for, we're looking for quick, we're looking for funny, we wanna make Dan laugh, and telling how long you've been listening

is not a great start. What are the- I'm at Michael Ryan Ruiz on all the social platforms. Just send me your boring videos. I want, just deadpan it. Hi, Pete here, Phoenix, Arizona, 17 years. And then I'll watch it, I'm good. That's the video?

Yes. Just letting you know. That'll be a 16 seed. Yep. Wait, watch it make a Cinderella run. That's what I want. I want the most boring one. I want the Cinderella Because the fans are voting on it right? I'm assembling my own in IT. Oh Wow, all just people introducing where they're from and I'm looking for the dullest listener out there Gladys Yeah, in Des Moines. Yeah what Dan and company are looking for,

I don't want any of that. Send me your boring videos. Chris, what are the videos that are coming out? Are they takes? Are they just takes? Yeah, hot takes, people going after David Sampson. Oh, he said this, this is my take. It could just be general about the tournament.

I would be great with Dan because of this. It can literally. Oh, can they plead their case as to why they should win? This first one, you're kind of introducing yourself, but you wanna be, you can say your name. Just be quick and get to it, have something to say. Don't be 10 seconds of, hey, thanks for taking my video. So I gotta ask about the prize.

I know how Mike loves when we dig into these things. The prize on this is a private hang with Dan to watch the championship game. It might not be private, because knowing Dan's awkwardness, like, well, some other people from the show might be around. I was gonna say, that's false advertisement. Because it says right there, a private hang,

and I wanna know exactly what that's gonna look like. We're underselling it. No, yeah, private means, like, it's not open to the public. You couldn't just buy a ticket and show up anyway. You're gonna get at least Dan, which is... You're gonna get a show. Like, I think that's what everyone wants. Just Dan and a fan for two and a half and show up anyway. You're gonna get at least Dan, which is... You're gonna get a show. Like, I think that's gonna be what he wants. Just Dan and a fan for two and a half hours

watching College Band. Nobody wants that. I would love that. The fans don't want that. The way I pitched it was, the winner gets to be on South Beach Sessions, and Dan can just be like, Hey, oh wow. That's great.

Pete from Arizona. I saw Nafisa Collier in the other scene. What was your lowest moment? Nafisa Collier didn't look that happy on the other awesome. Now, I know that there are all sorts of rules for my contest and I don't want to put anybody in those spots for these giveaways. I will also be giving away a prize for my contest, the dullest possible listener of our show, but I can't reveal that on the air because then I have to adhere to all sorts of rules.

But trust me, it's going to be a good deal. It will be a very dull reveal. Yeah, will the prize match the level of the videos? I need, out of 10, I need a.5. But what's the prize, is the prize gonna be a.5? It will reflect the contest. Okay, there you go. All right, so Tony's walked back in.

Do you have an update for us on what Steve Paceman was saying in his pink suit? Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. First, he opened up saying the entire monologue was, his first sentence was, as a father. Oh boy. With an A.

So that's, it literally lets you know where he was coming from. No ER on that. He's a father? See what I had as kids? Yeah. Oh, he's a shirt guy. He says, oh no, I've heard him talk about it. He says he has, as a father.

Okay. As a father Okay as a father yeah, he also continues to saying I'm covered. I'm I covered the NBA is my job I was raised as a journalist. I covered the NBA as my job. I was raised as a journalist If you're in the NBA it applies to you me talking about you if you're in the NBA It applies to you talking about case you're just tuning in, what's happening here is Tony went outside to watch First Take. He is now reciting what Stephen A. Smith had said about First Take, and Amin is reciting that

in a better Stephen A. Smith impression. Correct. Continue. Rights issues. I call it like I see it. I call it like I see it. This is a master class. Can you not read your own? He's turning the page. I call it like I see it. This is a master class. Nope.

Turning the page. You like it. That Chris you like it. You're enjoying that. What I said about LeBron James is fact-based. What I said about LeBron James is fact-based. I'm not upset. I'm not about what happened last night.

I will happen last but I do wish it was done in private But I do wish it happened in pride. I don't blame LeBron James In closing he said a lot of a lot of other things too about the state of the certain situation with him and LeBron. But- Can you riff on that? In closing. In closing, there's a lot of stuff about the state of the situation with me and LeBron James.

I mean, I know 50,000 points scored, four time champion, MVP, gold medalist, great father, great husband, gives back to the community. But having said that... Here's the last line, if you could deliver. Here it is. It wasn't a basketball player that approached me last night. It was a father. Oh. It wasn't a basketball player that approached me last night. It was a father, and I can get with that. I'm a bottom feeder. So glad you said feeder. Little disappointing.

That he capitulated, right? I want, like, Juju texted me earlier and said, if I was Stephen A. Smith, I would do the whole show on Brawny. I mean, you got to, because again, when you're in that position, how? How do you, how do you? So he's like, and I would like to issue a direct apology to Brawny James for absolutely nothing!

And he does a whole show. You mean to tell me that your son is in the NBA and I'm not allowed to say a single thing about him? Ha ha ha. It's just a preposterous. How do you get that all out while still sounding like it's caught up in the phlegm? It's sauce back here, something like that.

You know, it's funny because my taffer goes that way too far. Like, I try to get that, because taffer has a screech, but it's not like Stephen A's high pitch. I mean, how married are you to your beard? To your ball rescue? To your beard. Very. To my beard?

Fairly, yeah. I'm like, as in shaving it all off? Yeah, I'm married to it, man. If you went, like, shaved the hairline back. That's, look. And shaved the beard. Wow. I'd shave the beard in a heartbeat.

The hairline suit. And put on a gag? And just walk around town, talking like And shave the beard. Wow. I'd shave the beard in a heartbeat, the hairline. And put on a gag suit. And just walk around town talking like Stephen A. Smith. How many people do you think would come up to you and say, hey, Stephen A., huge fan? I mean, I don't know about all, you gotta get rid of the beard first. I know, I know.

Look, this is how I know I would get some of it. Did you ever watch Mad Men? No. All right, so there's a character, Pete Campbell, and then I saw like a promotional image and it blew my mind that he actually shaved in a receding hairline for that character. That's like Dennis from Always Sunny

when he did the Blackberry movie. He shaved in the bald spot. John Hamm almost made my top five witties. Oh. So. So to answer your question, I don't think I have to nearly do any of that. And here's why. I get stopped routinely by people who think I'm Bomani.

What? Why? And I'm just like, we don't look alike in any way. We're not even close. They just know that they know you from the Levitard Show and are also racist. Yeah, they all look the same. In the meantime. Help it. and we're all so racist. Yeah, they all look the same. In the meantime.

Help it! Oh crap, where did Jeremy go? I had this topic in here. I'm good, something got caught in my throat. Hey Brian! Do we not have that clip? Poor Shannon. I hate when we play it. Shannon had to step in in that spot.

He did a great job by the way. Welcome back to the right time. Shannon, one of the strongest hairlines and waves games in radio. Crazy. It's funny, I think about Shannon, I think about so many people I worked with at ESPN who when I worked there, they were all like insane Nick fans and the Knicks were awful. And now like this is their moment, but I'm not around them anymore. So one of the guys, he produces Gils Arena, Steve Martinez. And I was texting him yesterday because he was going to the game.

And I said, man, I'm kind of sad that I missed this whole era of you rooting for a team that's actually competent. Versus the years and years where all we did was make Knick fan jokes. It just, I shed a tear for those guys. In the meantime. What do you say to someone when they call you Bumani? Uh, it depends on who it is.

If it's like a fan in the street, I'm like, I'm not Bumani! And I just keep it moving. Like I do that. Because like, oh, oh man, you, like, no, we're not going to do that. You have one chance. So who else confuses you for Bumani if it's not fans of the show? Sometimes it's like people who should know better.

Get outta here. Yeah. Is this like a Dan and racist or the moment? Like they ask you first where the bathroom was? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dan didn't even ask you a question, he just assumed, like, there's a waiter. They're like, you used to do the show with the old guy,

right? I did though. Something like that. No, I know, but like. No, no, it's straight up like, so we did, maybe also weekend, we had a bunch of interviews with retired players, and one of the retired players was like,

all right then, Bomani, I'll see you. And I'm like, hm. So to this person, you did highly questionable, stopped doing highly questionable for a little bit, grew some hair back and a full beard and got your voice a little gravelly and went back on TV and that's who this person thinks you are. Just Belmonti Jones, just an entirely different life.

I'll be honest with you, 90% of the people who recognize me from TV think I'm still on ESPN. Like that hasn't, people have not made the connection. Even people who watch Levitard Show think it's on ESPN somehow, and they're just missing it live, but they're catching clips and replays on the internet. If we are, I'm missing out on Disney tickets for sure.

Dude, I told everybody, I was like, do you miss ESPN? I said, the thing I miss was that pass, man. Being able to walk, do whatever you want. Me and three of my best friends of today, let's go to Disney. And I thought when I left, oh man, I got plenty of people who still work there.

Sadano. Started dropping like flies. Sadano, well, and then the ones who are still there, like oh man, I gave them, Sadano, Cassidy, Hubbard. I'm looking at y'all, man. I had an ass that I was like, hey, you know, like I just need a couple for, oh yeah, my niece, it's her birthday.

It's always a niece's birthday. You can never, you have unlimited nieces, right? You can always say I have a niece, it's her birthday, it's always a niece's birthday. You have unlimited nieces, right? You could always say I have a niece, it's her birthday, every week of the year, oh, it's my niece's birthday. Juju, put her on the poll. Do nieces have unlimited birthdays? My favorite part about working at ESPN was working with Woody Page,

because he was a legend, a national legend, and that's what he should be known for. And not stealing Dan's story? No, I also at least would love to steal time from ESPN. Taking time off, you don't even have to tell anybody, you just go away. I mean, you kinda do that here too. You do that here.

Look around you, buddy. Once again, the world of history will not be released today. Well, that's one person here, not every, was I the Stu Gatz of ESPN? No, I think Stu Gatz was the Stu Gatz of ESPN. Damn straight. Also, he was on Around ESPN. Damn straight.

Also, he was on Around the Horn. He was. He was on a lot more than I remembered. Speaking of Plague, you think he came up with all those jokes on his own? Well, is he? If and he did, I would believe that it would have a little bit more flavors to it. The Dan Levitard Show with StuGots is sponsored by BetterHelp. Who's in your support system and how have they changed your life?

Think about that your favorite leaders, mentors, idols, they don't all have the answers, but they do know when to ask for help. In a world that glorifies hyper-independence, we sometimes forget that we thrive with support. We're stronger, healthier, and more resilient when we have people to lean on. Therapy is one of the best ways to build that support system. It helps with positive coping skills, setting boundaries, and becoming the best version of yourself. Here's the thing, therapy isn't just for those

who've experienced major trauma, it's for everybody. Whether you're facing a big life transition, feeling overwhelmed, or just wanna grow, therapy can help. That's where better help comes in. With over 30,000 credential therapists, you can find somebody who truly understands you. It's fully online, making therapy accessible, affordable, and convenient. No waiting rooms, no long commutes, just the support you need,

whenever and wherever you need it. And by the way, if you ever feel like switching therapists, it's no cost to you whatsoever. Build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash DLB today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash D L B today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P.com slash D L B. Howdy folks. It's Mike Ryan. I talk to you about Miller time all the time, but we're in the winter time right now. And one of my favorite past times is to crack open a Miller light and enjoy

myself some Miller time during the winter time, because when there's a brisk chill in the air, it just makes everything right. My friends and I who live down here in South Florida can actually sit outside because it's not super muggy. We can thoroughly enjoy our Miller time together. And for you listening, I know there's a lot of things going on right now. Sports? Cheap among them! Nothing more important than sports! From basketball and hockey to game night, winter means more moments with the coolest people in your life. Make these moments even better with Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people who love beer. Now's the perfect time for friends, family, and a great tasting light beer. TASTE LIKE MILLER TIME! And you know Miller Lite

is brewed for taste. It hits different than other light beers, and at just 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs per 12 ounces, Miller Time is always a good time. Miller Lite Great Taste 96 Calories Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller Time! Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Dan LeBataard! It sounds to me like everybody could use a hug, because a hug is always the right size. Stugats. All I have put in my body today is three cups of coffee and an entire cup of honey. Don't let him fool you. He said in the break that he's jittery.

This is the Don Lebatard show with the Stugats. If I died in LA and I wonder if there is a place Where nobody would show up for me when I pass away I'm having dying dreams, car crash in Tennessee Or Santa Monica, my last breath in Raleigh Need J. Cole to show up, and Klay Thompson's daddy Michael Jordan for sure, and Shaq and Charles Barkley Oh, what if I die in a Cleveland sports bar Or a Boston hot tub or Tampa

I'll make sure I'm done, not in Maine or Mobile Because I belong dying in Arizona Everyone will be there for me, Arizona I'm gonna make sure that I'm back from West Hollywood I'm gonna make sure that I die in Arizona, Arizona It's true that I die in Arizona, Arizona. That's always. Yo, Jeremy! Woo! Incredible.

I love Lewis twerking while a serious meeting is going on in the studio behind me. I did not need to know that was Lewis upside down twerking. Jeremy is a talent, dude. That was great. Thank you, man. Thank you. From the second that Mike played that song out in the,

whatever, the gathering area before the show, Jeremy was like, please let there be a situation where I can write a song on this. Any note. Anything. He's been waiting for this moment for all his life. It's been a year. I saw Chappellrone across the street a year ago yesterday.

So I've been waiting for this moment. You missed the top five Woodys for that. I missed top five Woodys? Which by the way, I got a text from one of my friends. Woody Woodpecker, very upset. He didn't know. Eh, eh, eh. The triple entendre.

This is like a crazy compliment. That might be your best song of the week. Oh, wow. I think that's your best song of the week. Wow. Also, you turned that around. No way. You turned that around in 30 minutes.

No, that's incredible. No way. Do you know how difficult it was to like make that fit the theme and turn that thing out in like 30 minutes, it's crazy. The day journalism died? That was a great song. I think this one's better. This one's better.

The day journalism died. Man, can I hear one more time? The Pink Pony Club. Cause this was just, my God. First I was afraid. I know what all you want to say, but I think you'd attend my funeral if I died in LA. And I wonder if there is a place where nobody would show up for me when I pass away I'm having dying dreams, car crash in Tennessee Or Santa Monica, my last breath in Raleigh

Need J. Cole to show up, and Klay Thompson's daddy Michael Jordan for sure, and Jack and Charles Barkley Oh, what if I die in a Cleveland sports bar or a Boston hot tub or Tampa I'll make sure I'm done not in Maine or Mobile because I belong dying in Arizona everyone will be there for me, Arizona. I'm gonna make sure that I'm back from West Hollywood. I'm gonna make sure that I die in Arizona, Arizona. Got the West Hollywood reference in there.

I can't wait till you die. Juju, put it on the poll. Which Jeremy song was better? The day journalism died or the day Amin died? Is that what it's called? Yeah, that's what you should call it. The day Amin died. That Tampa line stuck.

The Dan Levitard Show with Stu Gotts is sponsored by BetterHelp. Who's in your support system and how have they changed your life? Think about that your favorite leaders, mentors, idols, they don't all have the answers, but they do know when to ask for help. In a world that glorifies hyperindependence, we sometimes forget that we thrive with support. We're stronger, healthier, and more resilient when we have people to lean on. Therapy is one of the best ways to build that support system. It helps with positive coping skills, setting boundaries, and becoming the best version

of yourself. Here's the thing, therapy isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. It's for everybody. Whether you're facing a big life transition, feeling overwhelmed, or just want to grow, therapy can help. That's where BetterHelp comes in. With over 30,000 credential therapists, you can find somebody who truly understands you. It's fully online, making therapy accessible, affordable, and convenient. No waiting rooms, no long commutes, just the support you need whenever and wherever you need it. And by the way, if you ever feel like switching therapists, it's no cost to you whatsoever. Build your support system with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash D L B today to get 10% off your first

month. That's Mike Ryan. I talk to you about Miller time all the time, but we're in the winter time right now. And one of my favorite past times is to crack open a Miller light and enjoy myself some Miller time during the winter time because when there's a brisk chill in the air, it just makes everything right. My friends and I who live down here in South Florida can actually sit outside because it's not super muggy. We can thoroughly enjoy our Miller Time together. And for you listening, I know there's a lot of things going on right now. Sports? Cheap among them! Nothing more important than sports! From basketball and hockey to game night, winter means

more moments with the coolest people in your life. Make these moments even better with Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people who love beer. Now's the perfect time for friends, family, and a great tasting light beer. TASTE LIKE MILLER TIME! And you know Miller Lite is brewed for taste. It hits different than other light beers, and at just 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs per 12 ounces, Miller Time is always a good time. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell

beer. Tastes like Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.