The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Bare Hands and Bad Intentions (feat. Kevin Harlan)

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

"Go black to Gladiator times." Kevin Harlan is here ahead of his move to Prime Video to discuss the most beloved sports broadcasters, why he's always working to improve thanks to a tear-worthy start to his love of football, and the players he enjoys broadcasting the most. Plus, Tony claims the Cartel is actively recruiting him AND recently stopped a home invasion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face

and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Lubbittsard show was presented by Draft Kings. Draft Kings, the crown is yours. Before we get to our next guest, I just want to ask the group by way of introduction because I think the baseball broadcaster

on the radio used to occupy this spot, which is most beloved broadcaster anywhere in sports. Can you guys off the top of your head? Joe Buck is viewed as controversial for whatever the reasons. People have their

problem with every Joe Buck broadcast. Who is the most beloved broadcaster going these days? Kevin Harlan. Yeah, my favorite for sure. It's a good nominee. Not who I would have gone with, but coincidentally enough, he's right here and he doesn't

have either. And he does happen to be beloved. I've got a number of things to talk about, including his upcoming schedule now that he's going to be doing Amazon Prime basketball games. I'm looking forward to what all of that looks and sounds like. But welcome, Kevin. It's good to see you again. Who would you nominate, though, if I made you think about it for a second and said America's most beloved sports broadcaster at the moment comes with no controversy, isn't polarizing, is simply enjoyed by people throughout the land. Who would you nominate? Well, how far back can I go? I won't go

back too far. No, no, you got to do it from someone now. We used to have them all the time. I don't think, I don't, I think it's harder to do in today's America. Go black to gladiator times if you want. Good. And thank you, by the way, whoever mentioned me. I would say, I would say Mike Boreen. I'm not sure if there's the established baseball voice. Joe does, Joe Davis does an incredible job at Fox and hockey, I think, and and May, or or Sean McDonough. Now, these are two of my friends. So I'm a little biased, but Sean is about as good in any sport that has given to him, baseball, hockey, and certainly football.

And Mike Green has been the longtime voice that we know of the NBA, took over from Arv, has carried it even to the next level. So I'd say it's a time between Mike Green and Sean McDonough. Bang! That wasn't your mess. That was a bad one, actually. I saw him mutter. The pressure of the moment got to Kirkering over here.

He wanted to do the bang for Harland. He began in me. And it wasn't one of your best, but at least you didn't say you wanted to go black to the gladiator. There was no pressure, too. I just messed up so badly. Like, a layoff. Kevin, what do you think of Jeremy? No, what do you mean?

What are you doing? My cardinals fan, there's a viral Cardinals fan. Let's please give some contest. Kevin, I really enjoyed your call of Kevin. What car do you drive, Kevin? I love your car. You know, there was a future where I wanted to join this man on NBA broadcasts, and you guys are ruining this.

Well, that's good. It's done. You did that to yourself. You canceled you. Your Trevor Lawrence call, how much did you enjoy doing that, the frenetic panic of the moment? Well, I love those moments, and you hope that you've got the right words at the right time and sequence the right way.

cadence and everything when something like that happens. Luckily, he's not a quick twitch guy. And so he fell. He fell again. He kind of lumbered his way. And so it was slow enough to call. And that made it kind of fun. Of course, the moment and the heightened point of the game that it was and what it meant.

And they got a lot invested in that kid. So they needed a signature win, and that probably was the one win they can use. to build on what Liam Coleman has joined on there, but it was a lot of fun. There was a lot to that game. The day before I was in Seattle doing the Buccaneers and the Seahawks, and that was a circus. So back-to-back nights, I never take for granted the NFL seat that I sit in every Sunday and Monday, but to have games like that back-to-back was really an honor. It was a treat, and I enjoyed both so much. In my experience, the people who are amongst, the best at what they do. They tend to be pretty

unforgiving of their mistakes. I don't know how you are about this, but do you ever leave the stadium? I nailed that. I crushed it. That's as well as I could have done that. Never. I go back and listen and watch and grade each radio and TV

and I get more frustrated the more I watch my work. I'm the least impressed with my work of anybody. But I like, what I do like, is the challenge of getting better, and even at my age and stage in my career, you know, when I was younger, everything was so new and you sometimes didn't know what road to take and how to fix it.

Now I think I've been around, you know, a long time that I can figure out, okay, I know how I messed up on that. I need to improve this polish off this area over here, but I don't know that I've ever walked away and said, yeah, I don't. I usually come back incredibly frustrated the week after the game as I've watched daily what I've done or listened to what I've done in radio. And I'm pretty frustrated. So at the top of my boards, like I've got the Packers and Bengals this week, my scoring sheet, I'll put my points of emphasis on trying to improve on what I messed on the week before. That doesn't sound very joyful.

Like I would, I know it's not. It's not, you know, like, I'm sure that when you were writing columns, it took, you know, a lot of look and maybe stepping away and getting back and jotting notes or waking up and thinking of an idea to insert in there. And that's kind of how it is with the broadcast. I think that because it happens, then you've got some time to reflect on it, it becomes more an exercise of evolving. improving, meeting the challenge, how can it be better? And I try to listen in different ways.

I listen as I'm marking off on a sheet that I've got where I try to keep track of what I say or don't say, and then just listen as a fan might listen neutrally. And it becomes, you know, the more I listen, the more frustrated I get. So sometimes I've got to step away and try to figure out how I'm going to get better. But I like, if you love something,

I think you're constantly trying to, to improve and evolve and get better. And I know in this business, which is incredibly competitive, that if you don't, you'll find there are a slew of young, incredibly talented broadcasters right there chasing you. So you want to be ahead of the posse a little bit, I think, the older you get and trying to stay current and on top of your game. Who's the young one you hate the most? It's fascinating to hear him say that.

Noah Eagle, right? Who's chasing you the best? Who do you look at as a young person and be like, that? You know what? And this is the God's honest truth. I really don't listen to it. Many other broadcasters. If I happen to walk in a room and the family's watching a game, I'll listen. And but I really don't. If I find myself stuck, I may go to a couple guys that I really respect, Joe Buck, Sean, Mike, you know, guys that I really, really admire just the way they do work. It used to be Emrick when he was doing hockey. Marv, I think, at one time, when he first joined TNT, after getting over my, oh, my gosh, look who's on this roster.

And before that, it was Lundquist and Dick Stockton, two people that I revered tremendously. But I always, I guess I pretty much would gravitate to the older voices and just how they, how they, how they, might call. Not a situation or not, you know, a flamboyant call, but just like just, just the body of the broadcast and the feel it gives. I mean, I don't want to get too deep in the weeds here, but with any profession, there comes a science and maybe trying to, you know, challenge herself. And, and I like that. I told my wife the other day, I say, you know, when, and now beginning this new Amazon venture, which I'm so excited about, and grateful that they'd want to bring me on. their great roster of talent, but I kind of feel like my job is to stay relevant and current

and as sharp as I owe it to my employers, and I have to put in so many years in this, I owe it to myself too. So I don't slack off. I probably work as hard now as I ever have, and hopefully that will be the scenario for as long as I'm employed. Do you have a call you wish you made? Like you saw something. You're like, man, what a moment. Like, I wish I would have had that moment to call. A game that I was doing or a game that I was watching and wish I were doing. Do both of them, actually? Answer both of those.

Well, like, you know, the Marshawn Lynch run in the playoff game against the Saints? Like, as a broadcaster, and it was slow enough that you could keep pace with the run and the one broken tackle after another broken tackle, like, what, six or seven on the way. 11, 11 broken tackle. And I think, I think he breaks a tackle at the 30. Oh, he's still. his way to the 25, angle into the side, it breaks another tackle, you know, like you could go on and just, and you could build up the call and have that moment. There are not many like that,

quite frankly. And Dan, you mentioned Trevor falling the other night. That was kind of close to it. It was slow enough that you could really have it make sense to the listener. I think I went back and listened. I said, was I slow enough? Did I describe enough? Did I try to measure the steps he was taking until he crossed the goal line for the winning score. And so those are the kind of plays that you kind of wish you'd get a chance to have. Buzzer beaters are great, clearly. You can set them up and the shot speaks for itself. But all of it is a challenge. And it's a, I'm just grateful I'm in a, I'm grateful that I have found a profession that gives me so much impetus to continually improve, regardless of what stage I'm at in my career.

When you said a second ago, I check in on these broadcasters when I'm stuck. What does that mean? Just, I think sometimes, whether it's creatively or with me, it's probably more cadence and pace and just how they may call a big, like if I didn't like a touchdown call or whatever, or a last second made shot. I say, you know what, that just didn't really. So, like, I'll pay particular attention to what Joe or Sean or Mike, you know, these are all my contemporaries, these are all friends. But like how they may handle it, I think we're all kind of learning from each other,

perhaps maybe, I don't know, but I do from them because I think they're all so gifted and talented and have such a feel for the moment. I love the way they broadcast and, and just how they may handle a moment. And if I get, say, you know what, I don't feel like my touchdown call early in a game, middle of the game, late in the game, whatever it might be, it has the right tone to it or feel, whatever. And so then I'll say, you know, next time I'm listening to Joe or Mike or Sean,

that moment may come up in their broadcast and how they'll handle it. I don't copy. I don't tell kids to copy unless they're really young and trying to develop their voice as I did when I was like 10, 11, 12 years old. But those guys always seem to have a pretty good answer and I just respect him so much. And sometimes I might even dig in the tape

in Summerall in Stockton, Emmerich, like what their tones sounded like. You can easily find that stuff on YouTube and other places. And it's just a good reminder of, I think we all need a mentor and sometimes distantly, remotely, their calls, their voices can serve as a reminder.

Kevin, are there athletes in hoops or football that you kind of get really excited that they're on your calendar because they allow you to get in your bag more than other athletes? Like, I imagine, like, Baker Mayfield's on the schedule this week. I'm jacked up because I know I can play my best game. He loves the way you simply say Baker Mayfield. I mean, it's no Joe Tess, but anybody saying Baker Mayfield always like tickles me a little bit. That guy's awesome. It's a great name, right? I mean, it's kind of a catchy. It's a great name. But I would say that in the NBA, it was Michael, then Kobe, then LeBron. And I had the real honor of calling

every season of Bryant. I've done every year of LeBron. And we're scheduled to have him on opening night on Prime. I just see he's going to take the first month off. So we've already hit the load management there. And he's injured, clearly. But that's a shame. Anyway, the point is that, yeah, I mean, you get, like going into last week, Seattle and Tampa, two quarterbacks with incredibly compelling stories. I don't need to get into those you know them. And the way their teams had been playing, you knew that it was going to be, you know, it had the chance to really be electric. And clearly in the second half it was. There were seven consecutive touchdown scored. It came down to the final part of the game. And then

in Tampa the next night, or in Jacksonville the next night, you know, you knew the chiefs were kind of building a little bit, and it looked pretty good the week before against Baltimore. Jacksonville was three and one, first place team. So, you know, now this week we've got Green Bay and Cincinnati, so I've got 40-year-old Joe Flacco, who's pretty doggone smart with an incredible arm, you know, coming back to play the Packers for the second time in three weeks with a new team and starting the week that he was acquired. So that kind of is a nice story. And you kind of get used to those kinds of things emerging during the week of preparation. You're a Packer fan, right? You're biased. You're a Jayhawk

fan and a Packer fan, correct? Well, I went to Kansas, University of Kansas, and then grew up as a ball boy for the Packers. And when I was a ballboy, when I was 10, 11, 12 years old, I used to sneak up into the press box at Lambeau Field and recreate imaginary games during the lunch hour. to an empty stadium and an empty field. And so every time I get in that press box, I think of how lucky, like if you'd have told me at that age, that my career would have had this kind of, you know, grouping of games and employers and time in the business,

I would have said, oh, like, you've got to be kidding me. So that has a special place for me for sure. We're actually about 100 miles north of Green Bay and where we spend some time every year, and that's where we are right now. So I'll drive to the game on Sunday and drive back afterwards. Well, what you just described in terms of the meticulous that it requires to be as good as you are, sounds like it doesn't have a whole lot of fun in it because it has to have so much preparation and then pressure

and then the fun is the doing of it. Have you had a moment any time where you sit in the press box with such gratitude that it simply moves you to tears? That it, that where you've arrived, because what you just described, you've got to get out of here with that. You were a ballboy who was doing games in an empty stadium, and now you go back and you get to do that game at the highest of levels? Like, you can't have too many moments like that. No, it's singular for sure. And one, I never take lightly every time I go in there to do a game.

My dad was the president and CEO of the Packers for 21 years. And he was the one who initiated the rebuild of Lambo. and to what it is kind of today. And then it was carried on with the people that have followed him and done such a magnificent job. But there's a sense of pride when I walk in that stadium and see what he had accomplished in his two decades running the organization. The only other time, I guess, Dan, I feel that is the Super Bowl.

When we broadcast the Super Bowl, it's thinking of the people that have been in that seat, Jack Buck, Lindsay Nelson, Don Cricky, Jim Simpson, Marv, you know, to sit in that seat and wear that headset and call that game is about as special moment as you can have. I never take that lightly. I'm full of appreciation and gratitude when I sit there and get a chance to do that big game. So those are the moments that you say this is how lucky I'm not, this is why I'm in the business. That sounds like it's almost owed you. It's more how lucky am I to be in the business in that seat and call them a game like this and follow in the footsteps of those giants that have been in this position before me.

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for 50 years, and they've been a part of our show for almost 20. We're approaching incredible partner status with Miller Light. I mean, to think that people were celebrating at my bar mitzvah with Miller Light as they were a partner of this show is pretty incredible. You're talking about the moments that are made better by making those times, those special times, Miller Time. Jeremy, there's nothing like cracking open Miller Light with your crew. This football season, it's especially true. Whether it's a touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups,

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win to receive reward. Minimum minus 500 odds required. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. Four additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG.com slash audio. Don Libetard. Go ahead, Billy. Ask him your question. Is gymnastics gymnastics

possibly good? Oh, wow. Wow. Stugats. I got some fleb in my mouth, yeah. It's okay. Yeah. Is gymnastics possibly corrupt? This is the Don Leibatar show with the Stugats. Prime Video's NBA coverage begins October 24th with a Friday night doubleheader. I believe this is Kevin Harlan's most famous call, the way that he will be remembered. All the work he does every week, he works very hard, but nothing will ever be larger than this,

not the Packers, not the Super Bowl. And now, guarding step Curry, it comes up with the steel. Pickpockets him. Leonard! If you've got the hammer, you've got to use it. I don't think that's his best. I think his best is the other one. The longer call.

That's a decent one, but this is the best one. Oh, there's a cat. A black cat is taking the field. A black cat is running from the 20 to the near side, the 10. From the 39 in Dallas, here's a short throw down the middle caught by Ingram. Caught at the 35, went to the 30. Now the cat running the other way, and so is Ingram at the 30 to the 25, to the 24-yard line.

It's a catch run of 15. Now the cat has stopped at the 50. So is it bad luck for the Giants? I don't know. I don't know. But they've stopped playing the players with hands on hips are watching the cat run and zigzag all over the field. He's at the 8.

He doesn't know that it was last Thursday that was Halloween. Thursday night football. That's right. Yeah. He's a little bit late. Now he's at the 5. He's walking to the 3. He's at the 2. And the cat is in the CDW red zone.

CDW. You people who get it now, a policeman. State troopers come on the field, and the cat runs into the end zone. That is a touchdown. And the cat is elusive, kind of like Barclay and Elliott, but he didn't know where to go. Look, they're trying to corner him, and they got him in the end zone. There are state troopers all around this cat, which now climbs up into the stands, and the fans are running for their line.

Now it goes back on the field again, and it's running in the back of the end zone, and it runs up the tunnel. Do you have a personal favorite? I haven't heard the entirety of that. I would say nothing to do with drunks or wild animals on the field. No, that probably would not be my first choice. You know, I'd like to say that I'm working toward a call in a game in a moment that I'll remember. They've been lucky for me that I've had a lot of great performances I've been able to call. but I always like to think my best call is ahead of me

but I don't know that it will involve a drunk or an animal maybe it will like if Dan Lebitard ran out there that would be I think worthy a drunk animal slowly I'm not saying drunk or an animal I'm just saying if he just ran out there he's lumbering lumbering yes you thought Trevor Lawrence was slow

yeah the strides of Levitard look at him yes he's dressing it up a little bit So your next call is your favorite call? Did you just do that to me, Harlan? You've got a career. How long have you been doing? How long have you been doing this that you're still in a place where your next call is going to be your best call?

Like you've... I was, I began calling games in my room and I was like 11, 10, 11 years old. And I told you the Lambeau Field story and was actually our high school in Green Bay had a radio station, 10 watts, I don't reach 10 miles and I did games and I was starting when I was 14 and our high school games and then that led to some other work in the Green Bay area with commercial stations and then kind of heaped on so what 14 what 50 50 years 51 years or whatever I don't know what else I could do actually my wife said what else could you do I said there's nothing I don't know that I could do anything else so I'm lucky I found something that at least I enjoy it it feels to you

same? After 50 years, it feels to you, it still has the same stuff in it that challenges you and because you're always looking for improvement. You can't be as hungry as you were, right? That's not possible. Well, I'm almost now to the point where I really want to just make sure that I'm, I am improving, as I mentioned, maintaining and not, and not, you know, messing up in any way because, you know, when you do, then that draws attention. I just soon not have that angle hit me. So it's harder to leave to do a game. Not that I feel more pressure, but the business is changing and the stakes with these NFL

games are so immense. Like the numbers that are watching these games and the knowledge of the fans that are watching them have never been greater. The fan has never been smarter. And the viewership has never been higher. and the league has never been held in such a position, I think, and continues to grow and as the most popular sport and doing two of those games every weekend, it's the responsibility that probably drives me a little bit and making sure that I'm really buttoned down.

Because when you say something that's not even, you know, that may be just a little bit off, man, fans know. I can't believe that fear is still there for you. I can't believe that. Yeah. Fear is probably not the right word. It's more responsibility just because there's not a broadcaster in the business that would not give everything to be an NFL network broadcaster. And same with the NBA.

You can line them up. And knowing that and what's at stake, every single game just makes you, you know, you're not nervous. There's no fear. but you need to be alert and present and just very, you've got to be on your game. Probably not too different than how you all feel going up against the competition of the business on your side of it. Did you not just hear how all of us were talking during that segment? We don't quite have that standard around here.

Prime videos. Good call black. NBA coverage begins October 24th with a Friday night doubleheader. What is the worst attention you've gotten? You articulated it well when you said you're respecting the responsibility. It's not fear. You just always respect the responsibility because any one sentence can get, any one sentence on live can get you buried. So the worst attention you've gotten is what?

51 years. That's a long-ass time to not have one off the top of your head. I cannot think of one right now, but I'm sure there are. And it doesn't even have to be anything monumental. It can be just a wrong identification, wrong name. you've gotten just not cognizant of the situation in the game, you know, things like that that show that, all right, he does have some mental acuity. There is a responsibility to just make sure that you are really present. You can't, you know, it's, it's three hours of

not letting your focus dip at all, and incredibly hard to do. To keep focus for three plus hours and not doing NFL and 2-plus doing college or certainly the NBA. And to make sure that you are prepared, you know, that's kind of the challenge. You cannot lose your focus. Because when you lose your focus, that's when the mistakes happen for sure. We don't make any of those around here. Our Internet is always perfect and we always speak cleanly. Kevin, thank you for being on with us.

Always good talking to you. Dan, thank you so much. And thanks to your great crew. I sure appreciate the time. Thank you, sir. He's as good as there is in the business, and you can hear why, because he never relaxes on the laurels of knowing he's as good as there is in the business. I don't think of people like that as having those kinds of, we're not going to call them fears. It's obviously standards, but having standards so high, I would think that he would have the confidence by now, that he would just come into the game and just know that he's good at it.

I don't know when that happens for somebody if it doesn't happen after 51 years. years. Yeah, I always read into that saying that's why he's so great, because he's always aspiring to a standard that he is yet to achieve because he keeps raising the standard. I just think, though, because, like for Joe Buck, I'd be curious to talk to Joe Buck about some of that stuff because he's been good at it since he was in his early 20s and it was handed down in his family. I don't imagine that all standards like that. I don't imagine that you get a situation where everybody views themselves as a grinder. I'm not. saying that he has imposter syndrome, but I've seen a lot of great people who are actually

great at what they do that are fueled by imposter's syndrome. And it's just, it's always interesting to me to, uh, to see someone arrive at success and then have to feel like they have to work just as hard as they did 50 years earlier when they were dreaming about that. I didn't know he was a ball boy, though. Like that's got to be, I didn't know that that Packer fandom was something that was in his blood. Seems like a major conflict. We're going to be honest. I wish you had said that. But it feels like you... You accused him. I tried to defend him.

Even there, Billy muttered it. I barely even heard what he said. What did I say? Well, you said, go black to Gladiator Times. Could have been worse. I could have been dressed like Jeremy. Yeah, that was super racist. Triple racist.

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Dan Lebertard. To us, residents. Oh, wow. That's pretty good. It's in there. Better. I think I haven't been practicing? Stugats. I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy. Brought you by headquarters Toyota, 441 and Powerline Road. Second out of nine. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. fan of the week. He could win this every

week. The winner is once again, Michael Irvin. This week's Nuddiest fan. Get Nuddy with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. Keep an eye out for Lucy at Auburn this week. If you think you are your team's nuttiest fan, Michael Irvin, slapping a belt on the wall, doing push-ups.

He could win every week. Billy, you have not gone after Tony this week as much as I thought you were going to for his contentions. Why? His double-pronged contentions that he's being targeted by the cartel on TikTok and he stopped a home invasion.

I thought... Wait, what? I'm being... Yeah, Dan, I'm kind of worried, actually. Hold on. Hold on. Just a piece of it. Think before you speak.

I am thinking before he's... Okay. That's the secondary story. But the first one, I am being targeted by the cartels on TikTok. So, I've gotten to this weird spot on TikTok where I'm getting... Listen to me.

I love how he's like, I don't know how my algorithm got this way. Literally, I don't know. So what it is is, is like Jason Whitlock over here. What cartels? Mexican ones Sinolaua Drug cartels Are there other kind of

cartels that you know of Kane's cartels Clown cartel I'm not getting targeted by any of those Big one the night So I'm on TikTok You know doing my thing

Watching stuff Posting stuff Trying to get more into that Follow me on 10 day Tony Yeah Follow me at 10 day Tony Are you targeted by Mexican drug cartels

So listen So I've been listening to Certain podcasts And they've been saying Hey look This is how Okay are you guys

Gonna let me talk Or no Tony that's totally I'm writing it down Tony, because I want to tell them after the meeting, gosh, you got to let Tony get his story off the ground. Thank you, Dan. Thank you.

I appreciate that. Listen. So, I may have to go work for the cartels for a little bit. They're saying that the cartels aren't doing like word of mouth. Like, hey, why don't you come work for us now? What they're doing is they're actually sending people videos on TikTok and Instagram being like, hey, why don't you sign up to be part of the cartel? And you can WhatsApp them and they'll send you like, hey, be at this location at this time,

and you can work for the cartel. So what they do is they'll take videos of the entire process throughout. the like from getting the coca leaves to creating the product to showing you the product to just you know uh sending the product out distributing distributing thank you and they're like you can make 25 to 50k a week if you hit this number and i'm like huh and you think this is legit no that's how they're targeting people this is not me saying this is not me saying this is people that are in like the the information industry in like security industry saying like hey this is how they're targeting this is how they're doing it yeah so i was targeted definitely

more than once. This is all algorithm stuff though, right? What am I searching though? I don't know. I don't know what you're searching that would invite. I assume at this point that the computers are smarter than we are in some places. And so they can guess your interest based on some of your other interests. I think that's why I think that's why Billy in his awkward way of helping you while not helping you was trying to say, be careful what you say here because I'm not disparaging the cartels whatsoever. No, that's not the party is asking you. I try. I tried to not let him go down this path, but you guys wanted this. So here you go.

You're going to get a knock on your door, dude. Like, you have said way too much. But from whom? Hold on. I'm not trying to knock the cartels. They actually have a good, what were you going to say? What podcast do you think led you to being targeted by this? No, it's not a podcast that led me to be targeted by the cartels.

It's how I know the cartels are targeting people on social media. What is Joe Rogan? Sean Ryan Show, Joe Rogan. Yeah, they have guys on that work in military situations and they're overseas. doing certain things. And there was one guy that Rogan had on was talking about how Mexican cartels are going to find people in the United States and bringing them over to work for them as drug mules as people that are in the production chain. And one of the things that he said was TikTok. That's exactly how they do it. So now I'm finding myself getting targeted by the cartel to

be like, hey, you want 25 to 50k a week? And I'm like, yeah. They're like, well, why don't you come over here? And I'm like, hmm. As a good patriot that you are, have you ever considered infiltrating the drug cartels on behalf of the United States of America? What's the win for me there like what do I you're saving hundreds of thousands of lives from all the drugs that are coming across the border you go in you be a drug meal for them and then you eventually have to turn on them to save others double agent yeah have you ever considered that I mean am I because if they're targeting you obviously they think you're capable of doing these things correct but if you're listening to these podcasts you probably also think you're capable of doing other things to help

America on behalf of helping America yeah so am I getting paid by the US government or am I You might be getting paid by both, honestly. Now we're talking. Okay, now we're talking. 25K a week from the cartels, but then I'll go to the U.S. government. A, if you match me, okay? You should strong-arm the government. They can't even get you healthy.

Yeah, and tell them, listen, this is what the drug cartel is offering to pay me. There's enough people strong-arm me this government, trust me. And then you say, if you guys don't pay me more money, I will continue to flood drugs into your country. I like that strategy. That's a good strategy. Can you be my agent using you and your stuff? No, I'm going to sit this one out, I think. Against the government, though.

Not against the cartels. I'll work solo on the cartels. I believe that Billy's initial reaction to you. I thought the shock in his voice was from the home invasion, not the cartels. I wasn't sure, but I thought, Billy does a good job. I forgot about that after the story. What happened? Someone broke into your house?

Drug cartels or the government? Did we just put up a photo of Tim Ruddy? Who was that? Oh, that's Dan. Oh, that's AI. football player Dan. That's what we're talking about. Sixty-eight, Dan. You had a fumble rusky there? What was that? Tim Ruddy is who you made me. It was from the Jeff Saturday School of AI, and it's a joke that's nine minutes late based on Kevin Harlan's call of me lumbering on the field.

The good news is AI isn't here to take over everything. It took them nine minutes to create that beautiful image. It's not quite fast enough for the joke to land when it's supposed to. What about a joke from 20 minutes ago? Here's Connor McGregor playing hockey. That one's good. That guy was terrifying every time he took a trip down the ice. So someone broke into your house? What happened with the home invasion? You can imagine it was the Friday night.

I think you're imagining a lot of things. No, I'm not imagining anything. Trust me. This was not imagination. So it's a Friday night after my brother's wedding. Get home late. Obviously, we had a great time. I go to sleep.

What? What? Okay, thank you. So we get to go to sleep. All of a sudden, at around 5 o'clock in the morning, I hear something downstairs. and I'm like, what the hell was that? All of a sudden, my alarm starts beeping. Whoa.

Yeah, and that's a scary moment. Obviously, simply safe alerts me any time that something happens. And what the sound was, was somebody had opened a door. No. Beep. No.

And, dude, when I tell you, I have to actually update the lawsuit because I hurt my hip again, my quad, that day, getting out of bed. So I got out of bed, like, you sane bolt out of the block. Because you have a child.

I have a child. She's sleeping right next me. And my wife, oh, she's in the room. Great, right. I was telling you. I was thinking she's in a different room. That would be scary.

So you're saying you get out of bed the way that some football players get off their back by jumping to their feet without ever, without, like Sean Michaels. Thank you. I always wanted to do that. The heartbreak kid. Thank you. So I kick the diaper caddy out of the way, ended up denting. I'll send the picture when I get home.

Ended up denting the metal diaper. Split second decision. I got it. Man, you are family man. I ran down the stairs. Dan, no weapon, no bat, no nothing. Bare hands and bad intention. Those are ready.

And I start running down the hall. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Are you like, hey, who's here? No, I'm silent, but what you hear is the, Jenny said, it sounded like a grizzly bear was running down the stairs because I made every, every size dirt TV, boom, boom, boom, and I finally get down. I'm looking, I get to the front door, front doors closed, okay, nobody's there. I get to the sliding glass door by the TV, nobody's there, okay, where's my office, no windows, okay, I'm looking around, I'm looking around, I'm like, they may have gone upstairs when I went downstairs, so I ran back upstairs.

I get to my daughter's room where you can see over where the street is. I opened up the blinds to see if somebody's running. If there's a car, nothing. I go back to the room and I'm like, what's going on here? I don't know what's going on. Every door is closed. Why did it sound like that? Jenny's like, what's going on?

I'm like, I don't know. I have to find my phone. So I look at the phone. Simply safe sends you alerts on your app. And it's like critical open garage. By the way, the alarm is blaring in the house. Talk about panic. Talk about trying to figure out where to throw the ball.

So I finally get up, simply save garage door open. I'm like, I didn't hear the garage door open. What's going on? And then it hit me. The sensor fell off the door. No. The adhesive of the sensor fell off the door, and the sensor was what I heard, you know, rolling on the adhesive. Bouncing instead of knocking?

Bouncing instead of knocking. So all of a sudden, I look and I'm like, ah, thankful. Well, you, you, I was ready to stop the home invasion there, Dan. I don't, I don't know how to do that. Valerie pointed out to me that I do it wrong because she said one night, I heard a noise, and I got up and wandered to the bathroom. Like, I don't, I don't totally run. Is it your tummy? I don't.

A little rumbling? She heard a noise. I don't handle this correctly. I have never in my life run thinking that there is someone actually in my life. Dan, I went down like a man possessed. I was going to go kick somebody's ass. Like the blade runner. And you don't go places with bare hands and bad intentions?

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