The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Best Dismissal
Episode Date: August 28, 2025"Do you think Harry is like, 'How did Jane get in there?'" It's time for the Suey Award for Best Dismissal, but first, Chris has learned something about Zas, Dan feels the need to make the entire cr...ew feel terrible, and someone was headed the wrong direction before mommy got married. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Wait, was that the group chat?
Ah, sent a text to the group that definitely wasn't for everyone.
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Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by Draft Kings.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode is presented by Draft Kings.
Draft Kings, the crown is yours.
Zaslow is getting a bit too comfortable with his stardom, with everything happening with him.
He's really, it's been quite the late career blossom, not unlike Chris Mad Dog Rousseau here.
How do you think he is?
Late career blossom like Chris Mad Dog Rousseau.
Morning Radio, age Zaslo by 477 years.
I'll never get those years back.
That's how life goes.
You know, he can't get years back.
Zaslo, I saw, aged more than Obama because of what morning radio did to him.
The presidency was less hard on Obama than morning radio.
was on Zaz. I was the president to morning radio. Yes, he was. And one of the things that I've
noticed around here, though, in him getting comfortable and he just went up against the break there
and he had a point, but he was casually, you know, rolling his finger around while wearing
Cody's jacket. And the thing that I noticed is that the smell of Zaslo's singing near my ear
earlier in the show still smells like the breakfast that Zaslo enjoyed. Chris, why are you
mouthing, oh my God.
Zaslo, he likes to eat.
That's what I've learned.
If I've learned anything about Zaslo in these months working with them, my guy gets after it.
Okay, I take part in all of the meals that are given, but I'm not some glutton.
I don't take seconds.
I mean, like, more than your share.
I had, more than my share, I had half a croissant, egg and cheese sandwich.
The one thing you've learned about Zaslo, he likes to eat.
What a, what a dick move.
I learned his son's an ingrate.
And he likes the Arab fighters
And Thai food
Now I'm gonna starve myself
Also he may not know what Thai food is
I mean Zaz is telling me all the time
That he talks about what we have at his ESPN meetings
It's like the daily
What's the spread today?
I do love bragging to them at Yale
Great Spreeks today guys
They can tell, like they can tell that you've been eating
You think so?
Oh they can tell
Yeah
How old are you just out of curiosity?
44
44 I did some research
So Mad Dog launched Mad Dog Radio at 49
So Dan wasn't that far off
in terms of like late career.
Zazlo right now is being flown first class.
I don't know if you know what's happening at ESPN,
but Mel Kuyper and Orlovsky are on fire.
And I told you a long time ago,
Dilford got mad because Herb Street had a plane.
And they said, see you later, Delford.
And Zazlo, it's got first class.
It's hard to get first class.
My dad still wanders around making fun of ESPN
because he says, you know what they tried to do?
They gave me a contract where they gave me first class flights,
and then they didn't send me anywhere.
He's like, what kind of God?
He's like, what is that?
You can get my father on the phone.
He'll start complaining while still taking Disney's benefits.
Zaslo getting first class is a big deal.
I don't think radio gives around first class to anybody.
Have you explained to your dad that maybe ESPN is also laughing?
Like, hey, we conceded first class flight to a guy that we never sent anywhere.
And you think you see one?
Zazlo is rising in the industry, but he's gotten to ESPN where people are burning.
And he keeps bragging about the sandwiches we have around here.
So that's a real victory for Metal Arc Media.
Zazlo, it's plural, good spreads.
Yeah.
And you still smell like the morning breakfast, but there is no reason for you to stick around for the lunch.
You feel like I'm having enough in the breakfast?
Well, I'm just saying I have enjoyed that you have...
What are we doing to this man?
He has shown up here, worked hard, been a pleasure to be around, and we're throwing him under the bus.
That's what we do here.
No, no, no.
Jeremy, you're misunderstanding what's happening here.
I am wildly grateful in general for Zaz, but Zaz is wildly grateful that anyone in radio will feed you.
Yeah, I've never had a job where food was provided.
Are you kidding me?
All right.
Breakfast and lunch here.
come on but he comes through like you know guys you guys know what's happening to radio right
like the last bit of that was chewing up zaslo they were not feeding him they were eating him
i mean radio honestly they're sending in tom dick and jane first class like they kind of deserve
what they have coming oh why did you get any tom dick and jane when you're clearly a bigger star
than freddie fits that's not a real person we never got the results on that one freddie
Freddie Fitz might be bigger.
Do you think Harry's like, how did Jane get in there?
We have not yet talked about what Leonel Messi did last night, and I made a mistake in not doing so, because he scores in the 88th minute, two goals, and he's coming off of hamstring issues, and I know he's better than anyone in the league.
I just am legitimately confused by how it is that this person has not aged.
like you, I understand that this isn't the best competition for him,
but he's already done it against the best competition as recently as like 18 months ago
and he's still at the top of the sport and it doesn't make any sense to me.
He's doing the things that he would do at Barcelona where, hey, we just need to give it to our best player
and he just needs to be a demigod here.
So he did it at every level.
Seems a reason he'd do it at MLS, but it felt inevitable.
They were down late in that game to a bitter rival in Orlando.
He scores at the 77th minute.
and the 88th minute.
He executes the penalty, which gave Orlando a red card.
And you know once he buries that equalizer, it's only a matter of time
before he takes advantage of a team that's a man down and puts Inter-Miamian 2
their second League's Cup final.
Billy, are we clear on what the League's Cup final?
Is this the big championship?
No.
No, this is the one, the other one, that no one is suppressed by them.
What's the real one?
Dan, let me correct you.
It's not the other one.
Is this the one they give you the serving dish for?
I think this one's a serving dish.
Yeah, this one's a serving dish.
But it's also not the other other one.
This is probably, well, U.S. Open Cup has been diluted.
They won this one?
No.
Yes, no, they won this one.
No, not this one.
The one that we're presently in, they haven't won this one.
Previously, two years ago.
But this isn't the championship, even though it's called the League's Cup.
So it's called the League's Cup because they share this tournament with League of Emekis in Mexico.
I'm more confused now.
However, the Mexican teams are always garbage.
and they do very poorly in this tournament.
So the semifinals were all MLS teams.
Miami played Orlando, Seattle played L.A. Galaxy.
Seattle ended up winning their semifinals.
So Messi, who didn't want to play in the All-Star game because of all this bonkers travel.
The All-Star game for this league's cup.
Now he has to hop on a plane and fly all the way to Seattle to win another League's Cup.
So we'll see if they do that, and that's more hardware for Inter Miami,
what's been a wildly successful venture.
We had Taylor Twelman on and make some news last week.
He said with a lot of certainty that he expects Messi in that Inter-Maiami
uniform when that stadium opens.
The expectation among Inner Miami is they've got a very good proposal out to Messy.
He actually laughed at the notion that he might not be in the stadium.
Yeah, there's a ton of confidence that Messi will be here.
No, you got to, I mean, look, it's not the most ethical thing in the world,
but you got to start talking to the Saudis, right?
Like if you're him, you go and you flirt with the Saudis.
He's like, I don't know.
The stadium looks nice next to that airport.
I'm sure traffic's not going to be a nightmare, but that's Saudi money.
It looks pretty good over there.
If there's one thing that we know, it's that Messi's not going to follow and run all those footsteps.
That is not a thing he's going to do.
But the guy turned down a ton of money from the Saudis because it was like, well, I can't play for the Saudis.
And then they just went and played there anyways in an exhibition game.
Let me correct you.
Messy did not turn down a lot of money from the Saudis.
He is an ambassador for their tourism industry.
and he is collecting a lot of money from the Saudis, he's just not collecting money from them to play.
It wasn't that long ago before we were talking about the Saudi money as it related to soccer players,
that all over the globe you would have gotten a split on who's the best player in the world,
Rinaldo or Messi.
It wasn't that long ago, I'm going to say four years ago, five years ago,
and what's happened with the late parts of their career when I tell you,
look I saw what Zlatan did coming over here and doing what he was trying to do for this sport
for Messi to play at the top of this one and the top of the game
while Ronaldo has cheapened himself in all of the ways
to see the separation of what wasn't that long ago a legitimate argument
and now is not any kind of debate
Messi has separated himself as best in the world over this last stretch of career management
and I I'm genuinely stunned when I tell you
you that at this age
in that sport, you're
not supposed to have the legs against young
people to be the one who can do it in the
88th minute. Like, that's how aging
is supposed to happen. You're going to get
slower and more tired
and late in the game. You're going to
fade away against young legs, hungry
legs, but he's still at the top of the whole
thing. Seems that he conserves himself throughout
the game pretty well. Like, he does
a lot of walking out there. Yeah, on the
ball, he can be quick when he needs to
be. He is very smart about conserving his
energy, and that's going to be how he ages with grace. He's a dynamite player, and yeah,
it kind of feels, I already know this is going to get clip for social because of the engagement
on Messi and Ronaldo. So what I'm about to say may be perceived as inflammatory. But I think
that debate got put to rest with the World Cup and what he was able to do then. And look,
Ronaldo's scoring goals in Saudi Arabia? What's that league compared to MLS?
Look, Al-Hal had a much further run than Inter Miami had in the Club World Cup. Al-Halal
beat Manchester City. There is good quality sides there. They spend a lot of money, a lot more money
than MLS clubs do on their talent. So I don't, like, Ronaldo fans and stands may have the ability
to say he's doing it against tougher competition. And I don't, I'm not really interested in that
debate. But Messi still seems to be a top 15 player in the world. And it's not just an MLS.
He's still the talisman for Argentina. Everything runs through Messi. And we're going to see in another
World Cup, where he's going to be damn near 40 or, if not at 40 years old. And he's still going
to be the best player and most dependent on player for Argentina. Rinaldo is what age and
Messi is what age, because I will tell you again, I will not get used to how it is that
Serena and Tom Brady and LeBron James and Diana Tarasi age. It doesn't have scientific precedent
before this recent time to have messy age. To separate himself from Ronaldo,
at the age when these people should fall apart like Ronaldo is a greatest of all time debate
just usually doesn't fall apart that way right in front of you while you're watching it
so that you don't even have to do the history 30 years from now.
I watched when it is that Messi became the best player in the world.
Ronaldo is 40 years old.
Messi is presently 38.
However, Ronaldo will say himself that he is biologically 27.
The body type on Messi must help him age at least a little bit better than Ronaldo.
would age. But this is a player that, especially in Europe, how do you stop messy? You have to get
physical with him. He's the best player that opposing defenders will ever see. There was a lot
of complaining last night, right, from Orlando City? So he's been subject over the course of his
over 20-year career. Two horrendous tackles, people trying to get a pound of flesh from him
quite literally because he's small, because he's smaller in stature. People try to put their
shoulder in them. So that body has taken a beating. And what we've seen in the latter stage of
his career here, that soft tissue injury reputation that he's starting to develop, but he just
came back to the team fresh from injury and won them in the game almost single-handed late last
night. He's an incredible player and probably the greatest athlete of our lifetimes and we're blessed
to be living in this generation, even though we're probably living in the echo of a universe that
already died thousands of years ago. He's not the best athlete of this generation. LeBron is.
Now that's just a different
Now Bailey's got an algote
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That was a long story.
Yeah?
It's the only kind he'd tell.
It's a short one for me.
I tried to speed it up for you guys.
You forgot about the League's Cup.
Yeah. La Caretta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlin celebration because it was Levant.
Well, when Fidel died the first time.
This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats.
Billy, Thermometers.
Yeah, they're locked up. What do you want me to do? I can't do anything about it.
I ended up getting one.
I talked to the guy.
I said, hey, can you get me in?
You know how embarrassing it is to walk up to someone like,
hey, I need your key to like unlock something.
Like, whoa.
And like the people in the store are like, whoa, look at this guy.
What's he up to?
What's he going to buy here?
A bunch of Sudafed or something?
It's like, no, I just need a thermometer.
Why did they always?
I think they still do this actually.
They keep the razors behind the locked glass.
I mean, that one I understand more than thermometers.
Why?
I need to shave my face.
So what is the strangest?
most curious thing that you've had to like the cold medicine is something i i don't know whether we
all learn this at the same time i don't know when this became a thing the idea of uh putting a case
around certain things because people will steal it uh to use as drugs to use uh to uh the things
that are being hidden are not necessarily just the expensive things right there are things like
razors that you could do damage with uh and so what are the like why are the thermometers in
there i don't know because it was a flexible digital thermal
It wasn't even like it had, like, the, uh, whatever the silver stuff is that the old ones used to have.
Mercury.
It has to be to avoid theft.
I used to do that mercury thermometer.
My mom will put it right under my tongue.
Uh-huh.
Do you ever put it up to, like, the little lamp?
Well, like, I'm Ferris Bueller?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you weren't a delinquent.
Huh.
If it broke, because they were glass, if it broke, did you like, oh, what do I, what do I do?
You have to run out the house?
You ever, did you ever touch the mercury?
No, man.
Just a little curious.
Touching like, oh, wow, this thing sticks together.
No, that's like poison, dude.
Really? Yeah.
Maybe for people like you.
Put it on the poll at Lebitard show is the mercury inside of a thermometer poison.
And also, Jeremy, look up for me when it is that drugstores started doing the thing of putting things in a case so that Billy has to suffer the embarrassment of he wants a thermometer.
It wasn't a case even.
It was like a bike chain that they had on it or something.
It was like on a little.
Like a pen at the bank?
It was like a little, it was hanging from a little hook.
Where you can't slide it off.
And then they had like this, like, lock on it.
The guy had to come in, I think he was just a magnet.
I don't want to tell people how to get around the locks there,
but I think he just had a magnet.
I think if you take a magnet, you can unlock all those locks
and just get the thermometer is all you want.
I was watching.
It wasn't like a code.
It didn't steal his code.
If you're going to unlock something with a magnet,
there was no lock.
I think it was just a magnet.
Take a magnet if you need to go.
They don't work underwater.
Magnets don't work underwater?
That's what I heard.
Chris Cody said something today that was both surprised.
and not surprising and got me to thinking.
Billy just said earlier,
he doesn't have an inner circle.
It's his wife and his daughter, and that's it.
No, no, I said people I've impregnated
and the people that have come out of the people have impregnated.
I didn't specify.
That's your crew.
Okay.
You didn't specify.
So it might be more than just your wife and daughter.
I just, you know, I didn't specify.
All right, so the inner space.
You might have a secret family.
Get someone to show up and say,
you impregnated me, so I'm part of your crew now?
they could be part of the inner circle
I have a specific look I think I could figure out
pretty quickly if I did impregnate them
or not you know I think
it is very hard to get into
Billy's inner circle but I think it is
easier much easier to get it
you don't want to get in
like I'm just I'm just I don't mean to interrupt you
but you like we're making this a whole to do you don't want
to be in my inner circle I don't want to be in my inner
circle I've been texting you
the way everyone texts you and Fuentes is
the one who gets text back and that's how
I arrive at the arrival
at the place where I believe that your inner circle is very tight.
Fuentes has bragged to everyone.
He got 11 texts from you.
Or there was 11.
No, no.
Texts in between us.
They could have been 10 from him in one response.
He was very vague about it intentionally.
Well, but he did tell the room that he had an access to you that the rest of us do not have.
But Chris does this differently.
Chris, I believe, his inner circle is easier to get into.
However, the deepest points in his inner circle might not be as deep.
Because Chris said, I don't have a best friend.
Yeah.
It was kind of like in that inner circle talk, I was just kind of thinking, like, who's my inner circle?
And I do have an inner circle.
And I have friends.
I'd say I have seven to ten friends that I'd call really close.
That's a lot of friends at this age.
But I don't have anyone.
There's not one that I'm like, that's my best friend.
Yeah.
And I want a best friend.
Put it on the poll at Lebitard show.
Do you have a best friend?
Because I think it's unusual not to have a best friend while having it.
saying my wife don't know we just let's stop that right there your spouse is not your best
friend what a loser would say that my wife's my best friend here we go who's your best friend
oh boy dan you know what he's going to say it was my brother oh not your wife somehow more
awkward not what i thought he was going to say that's not the question that he asked he asked
who's your best friend right now yeah that was gratuitous living in fact penalty box out of here
not fair to do that i don't feel good about this that's not fair to do that what i mean he asked him a
question who's your best friend not who it was
I mean, come on.
What's the penalty?
Making us feel like shit.
All right, hold on a second.
Let me see if I have that first.
I think we have that one.
I'm good.
More of Ethan's voice.
Four of the 11 text between me and Frentas was, what time is mystery crate starting?
Hey, come down.
It's time to start.
And me saying, okay.
That's what you're jealous of.
Minor penalty, two minutes.
Peste, tremendous.
Coma me, da.
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Don Lebertard.
I may take it one step further.
Wait a minute.
You're getting sexier by the moment.
Slow down.
We haven't even gotten.
Stugats.
Jason Sanders, you're on notice.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my God.
What in spite of him.
Oh, wow.
I love you, Duke.
This is the Dan LeBatar Show with the Stugats.
Let's get the Best Dismissal.
The 2025 Sui Awards are presented by Miller Lite.
Cast your vote at Levitardaf.com.
Winners will be announced this upcoming Tuesday, September 2nd.
This is Best Dismissal.
And now, the suey nominees for Best Dismissal.
Billy Gill and Greg Cody dismiss the Savannah bananas.
It's a clown show.
I eat banana ball.
You're running around wearing capes, actual caves.
Look at the dimension.
The left field walls is 120 feet away.
It's just a modern-day Harlem Globetrotters, which I...
What's wrong with that?
I thought we had all outgrown that, you know, throwing a bucket of water on somebody.
But, oh, there's confetti in there.
It's not water.
Oh, Tom Cruise dismisses Father's Day.
Also, I've got to ask Father's Day, it's just around the corner,
what would an ideal Father's Day look like for you?
Hey, you know, just having fun, man.
Making movies, big adventure.
Having a great time.
Greg Cody dismisses NFL Red Zone.
I enjoy watching one game at a time, okay?
I'm an anti-red zone.
An isolated game.
Yeah, I mean, my wife's watching Red Zone.
It's like a flurry of, it's overload of information.
Going from one game to the next and then back to here and back to there.
Red Zones showing plays
They're not even in the Red Zone.
It's a misnamed network.
I want a network that shows me the shanked punt.
Uh-huh.
Shanked punt.
Shunts.
Yes.
Careful.
All punts.
The all-punt network.
Why not?
The APN.
Wonstead would be addicted to it.
He would be.
Nick Wright dismisses Tony's football analysis.
We look at the chief side and I feel bad saying this because Nick Wright is over our shoulder.
We're looking at a team that if things go the opposite way, this is a laughing stock of a team.
that doesn't make the playoffs.
Okay, yeah.
That's why Tony's on that side of the room.
To not really pepper in those sports teams.
I mean, the thing is, like, I like Tony.
But I'm just telling you, yes, I agree that if you turned their wins into losses,
their record would have been worse.
That's what I'm saying.
Billy Gill dismisses Europe.
Europe sucks.
I don't know if you're aware of this.
We keep saying, like, well, in Europe, this would have.
Europe is terrible, which is why all of us left Europe.
That's why everybody's here in America, because everyone decided, you know what, Europe is terrible.
Like, the English decided, the Spaniards decided, the Italians decided.
Every single person came together at one point in time and said, you know what?
We may not disagree on a lot of things, but we can all agree.
Europe sucks.
Let's just jump on this boat and see where it takes us because we can't be here anymore.
Because Europe, again, terrible.
No air conditioning. Everything is old, horrible.
All they do is try to steal American culture and then tell you all of their old crap is so great.
Europe, terrible. And it takes forever to get there, forever to get there.
If I'm boarding a plane for eight hours, Europe better not be where I'm landing.
Actor Nick Terturo dismisses Bob Costas.
I can't take Costas no more.
Oh, no.
Let me watch the game. I said. I was yelling at the TV.
Let me watch the game, Bob. Please, shut up.
And he wouldn't shut up.
He would not shut up.
When I'm watching the game, he was like interrupting me.
And I was just like, can you let it breathe?
Please.
We know you know a lot about baseball.
Stop being, you know, smarter than the game.
You're not.
Bob Costas dismisses Billy Gill.
One of your limited frame of reference peanut gallery guys said at one point, you know,
I don't even know why he's called Bob.
He's the kind of guy that really should have been, even in grade school,
would have demanded that he be called Robert.
This is what happens when you don't know jack shit, okay?
Saturday Night Live, Letterman, Leno, Carson, Conan, basketball, putti tank, the paper.
You know, if somebody knew as little, even if they were 20 years old, knew as little about baseball history,
and then was talking about last night's game with no frame of reference, they'd be laughed out of the room.
You know, laughter, that kind of thing.
Greg Cody dismisses the Oscars.
The Oscars need to, it's funny, they have a category for editing because they don't edit themselves.
Talk about a metaphor for the night, the brutalist.
It's brutal watching anything for three and a half hours, whether it's a film or an award show.
Now, Anora sounds like, it's a terrible name for a film, Anora.
But I didn't hear, is it a woman's name?
What is it?
It sounds like a car.
I drive a Toyota Anora.
You know, the shipping container dismisses Dan for asking Gary Olme,
Owen, a terrible question.
Do you have a pop culture topic that everyone's seeking your opinion on these days?
Any question that you're getting about what's happening in the news that is about one subject matter more than another?
I mean, everybody's asking comedies about Biddy.
That's the big one right now.
Dan, you don't get to make that face.
He warned me.
Dan's question was like, hey, what's the pop culture thing everybody's asking you?
All right. Talk about that.
Everyone's mind went to Ditty, right?
When Dan brought up the question, we're like, okay, you're asking him about Diddy.
And your opinion?
Just ask him about Diddy.
There were other choices he could be making.
Tric Lamar's tour.
Pull that one from.
What you know about terror is scary.
Look, see now, old man.
Over 20 years, I didn't think you could get worse at tossing things up to comedians.
But yet, here we are.
Did he follow up or no time?
David Sampson dismisses vow renewals.
You don't get a gift.
I'm not going to attend.
I want no part of a vow renewal of any kind.
I think it's absolute horse hockey, personally.
People, all right, you're in love.
You're still married.
What are you showing off?
Because the rest of us are divorced.
Oh, for my 25th anniversary, I'm going to renew my vows in Vegas.
Give me a break.
I'm totally out on vow renewals.
I think it's ridiculous.
Jonathan Zaslow dismisses Chris Whittingham's Panthers takes.
We did a month after the Panthers got eliminated from the playoffs.
On Spencer Knight is better than Sergey Bobrovsky.
And somehow I have the wrong take on the Panthers.
What I mean somehow you have the wrong take?
The Stanley Cup champions.
Somehow he got it really.
Murderer of phone over there.
Okay, but I can admit that I was dead wrong.
I was dead wrong.
And I'm thrilled that I was dead wrong.
You're sitting there saying how the Panthers got it wrong.
And they're the champions.
Greg Cody dismisses Chris Cody.
Christopher, what are you reading?
I'm not used to seeing you read a book.
What do you read other than menus?
Wow.
I did quite the dig at your son.
Did you just set yourself up?
Wow.
He did.
He did.
He sent himself up for a joke.
At the expense of his son.
He threw himself an alley-up.
I respect.
Thank you.
Billy Gill dismisses Wayne Heisinga.
Yeah, screw that guy.
I love booing dead people.
A bell.
What?
It's such a weird thing to love.
What?
You love booing dead people?
Oh yeah. I get the last laugh.
You think you leave this earth and I'm going to forget about what you did?
I will not.
Katie Nolan dismisses Tom Brady's teeth.
Those teeth he has might be the wrong size for his mouth.
I do wish he would.
And I googled that you can have them.
You can go back to the person who did them and be like, can you shave these down a little?
And I think that that'd be in his best interest.
I hear his teeth when he talks.
Jonathan Zaslow dismisses emotional support animals.
I don't want to hear about the dog being an emotional support animal, though.
Like, that's garbage.
Like, everybody has a dog to emotionally support you.
You have a dog because have the dog makes you.
you feel good, all right? That's everyone. So the fact that you could bring your dog anywhere
because it's an emotional support animal, that's bullshit. Greg Cody dismisses people
complaining about egg prices. I wonder by the egg aisle, I see the eggs are, I think,
649 or 599 or something. Sizable hike warranted, okay, respect the chicken. They do a lot of work,
you know, I mean, eggs, you can cook them four or five different ways. They're all great.
Eggs have been underpriced for years.
Let's quit complaining about the price of eggs.
Billy Gill dismisses John Mullaney.
Learn your place, Malini.
You're not a sex symbol.
Like enough.
Are you sure he's not a sex symbol?
Yeah, he's not supposed to be.
I just stay in your lane.
He's forcing it.
Go write your jokes, be your funny guy.
Have that be your appeal.
This sex symbol, bull-and-pull get out of here.
Mullaney, please.
He is married to Olivia Munn.
Yeah, well, he was married to someone else before.
Mike Ryan dismisses David Samson's Marlins Hall of Fame
credentials. Do I think that when you look
at important figures in the history of
the franchise, am I in that
conversation? I don't know how to
argue against that. Let's
allow me.
You killed baseball
in this market. You don't get to be in a Hall
of Fame for killing baseball. I
did not kill baseball. I saved baseball
in the market, actually. If they were
a Hall of Fame for killing baseball,
you'd be first ballot. Pete
Blackburn, aka White Hat,
dismisses Greg Cody for
an overrated column. It's the
laziest, stupidest,
f***ing mailed in column
that this guy probably
hasn't watched a second of the Oilers this
postseason. That's columnist behavior
though. I love this
people like this exists though.
This is way lazier.
He's not making any sort of
like coherent or
strong point that you can
agree with. Billy Gill just misses
Pete Blackburn. Who cares what
Peter Blackburn thinks about anything.
Why are you guys here going to defend him over Greg Cody, who you've known for 20 years?
So Peter Blackburn can come in your group chat and be like,
thanks guys for having my back.
I want to be your friend.
I'm Peter Backburn.
Get out of here.
Go to hell, Peter Blackburn.
Thank you.
You know what, Billy?
I'm glad you finally speak.
Where's the loyalty in this building?
It's embarrassing.
A bunch of star f***es around here.
Just wanting to get the big names to be your friends.
Embarrassing.
Billy, I will tell you what's happening here.
What chaos?
Excellent.
What chaos is my question.
You're not spitting chicklets.
Let's get out of here.
We don't need two hockey podcasts in the world.
Okay, Peter.
The hockey show.
That's the one I meant.
I guess we need two, the hockey show.
Thank you.
Billy Gill, dismisses Matthew McConaughey.
You're a naked bongo guy, right?
You're not even a great actor if we're going to be perfectly honest with you.
All of a sudden, now you're going to tell me how to behave as a family.
Shush it up.
That's where you need.
Shush it up.
Have you seen Interstellar?
You're in sync.
Have you seen Dallas Byers Club?
and sing to. Scott Van Pelt dismisses the TSA at the Atlanta airport.
All there was was mayhem and lawlessness and chaos for the survival of the fittest.
It was kill or be killed. And did we break the line?
I allegedly, I popped to all of this on the podcast that we did. We came in. Yes, we did.
We came in a door. And where we came in, there were thousands of people, Ohio State, Notre Dame fans,
all of whom were incredibly pleasant, by the way. I enjoyed meeting all of them in the three hours
We stood the TSA line waiting to get through.
Go to the clear TSA line, they say.
Sure, like that's the sheet code.
I don't know.
No shit.
I know where to go.
There's nowhere to go.
So I'm standing there and there's no one's helping, no red jacket's helping.
And we look and we said, this isn't going to work.
And I'm like, wait, is this even a line?
Let's go down there and see.
And so we wander down towards a different door where if you came in that door,
you just blend it into the line because there wasn't a line.
So that's what we did.
And if that's against the law that I.
Guilty is wrong.
Chris Cody dismisses
Josh Allen's
pistachio farm.
The fourth quarter,
your little filler
when we're down 21.
I don't give a shit
about Josh Allen's
pistachio farm.
Look at this thing.
It's endless.
I thought that that was
fascinating.
I had never given
pistachio farms
any thought before then.
Who needs a pistachio farm?
I just hated all of it.
Just ridiculous.
Get that thing out of my face.
That's for like a Sunday
pregame show on ESPN.
That is not for four.
quarter when you're up 21 points.
I'm reading a story here.
He's doing it for a second income stream.
Oh, please.
Yeah.
That's the most obnoxious story I've ever heard about a player in a game.
He has a pistachio.
If you look now, he has a pistachio farm.
His family business is farming.
Out of here.
Greg Cody dismisses Gary Furman.
Am I wrong here when I say that Gary Furman was one of the chief writers on a staff that
would have been considered the best in America?
No.
No, you're not right.
Chris Cody dismisses notaries.
Are we still getting things notarized?
Is that still a thing?
Yeah.
That was always a ridiculous thing.
Yeah.
My friend's mom's going to stamp this paper and now it's official.
Yeah.
You know, Stephen's mom.
That's the difference here.
Stupid process, always.
My whole life, I'm just like, what?
I have to get this, what?
I'd get it signed by something official, courthouse.
No, not a courthouse.
Really?
Just Jack's mom.
Your whole life, huh?
Somebody who's got ink in an office.
Now I can do so.
Now I can go on this field tree.
because this has been notarized.
Let me get one of those stamps.
I'll be a notary.
There's a process.
It's a due to the process.
You sign up and pay $50 and all of a sudden I'm a notary.
You can't buy a stamp.
I don't think it's a labyrinth either, but you have to fill out some paperwork.
Look it up.
Jeremy, I want to become a notary this week.
Jessica Smatanna dismisses Halloween in Miami.
It's not spooky at all in Florida.
It's 100 degrees.
There's no giant skeletons.
There's no jack-a-lanterns.
There's no little kids in costume.
Just cofacito.
It's just hot all the time.
And it's not spooky.
Oh, you're going to trick or treat and get like heat stroke walking around your neighborhood
little kids because it's Miami and it's so effing hot here.
And it sucks and it's not spooky.
And no one has fake cobwebs on their shrubs because there's no nature here.
Everybody does.
Everybody does.
You've never seen it.
And it's not spooky at all.
Where are the 12 foot skeletons?
Go to a residential neighborhood.
Go to a residential.
neighborhood. You don't live residential.
My entire life.
This feels like it's about more than Halloween.
Billy.
Unbelievable.
Holy Billy, I did not realize that you had such a year.
Like, it's, I don't, Bob Costas, Europe, I saw you.
I didn't dismiss Bob.
Bob attacks me, if anything.
I saw you squirming in your seat as, and squirming in your seat,
also with a giant smile on your face as you took out Bob Costas and Bob Costas remembered the
quote specifically on how it is you took him out and then gave you his resume.
You want to know a story about that that I got from a text from an insider.
So we're friends with Adnan Verk who works with Bob Costa at MLB Network.
And I heard that afterwards that day they were in the makeup room at MLB Network headquarters
And Bob Costas, like, turned to Adnan.
And it's like, I heard you on the show today.
Kind of he's like, yeah, did you hear what I said about that kid or something like that?
And Adnan's like, Bob, I feel like he kind of proved his point, though, by going on that rant that you couldn't laugh at yourself.
He's like, no, I scorched him.
He's like, okay.
Can you play that for me, please, Chris, because I want Billy.
I just, please put the camera on just Billy because he was funny in the penalty box to watch him sinking into his seat because he knows.
knows that this broadcast, he infuriated this broadcasting.
That makes me happier than upsetting legends.
I got to be honest with you.
There's no people's time I like to waste more than important people, especially self-important
people.
Not that I'm saying that about Bob.
No.
One of your limited frame of reference peanut gallery guys said at one point, you know, I don't
even know why he's called Bob.
He's the kind of guy that really should have been, even in grade school, would have demanded
that he be called Rob.
This is what happens when you don't know jack shit, okay?
Saturday Night Live, Letterman, Leno, Carson, Conan,
basketball, putti tank, the paper.
You know, if somebody knew as little,
even if they were 20 years old,
knew as little about baseball history,
and then was talking about last night's game
with no frame of reference, they'd be laughed out of the room.
You know, laughter, that kind of thing.
That kind of thing.
I love that part.
You crushed that category, and I did not realize that we might have a challenger to a Stugat's dismissal this year.
So do you have a favorite?
Does anyone have a favorite from among the dismissals?
Because the way that he took out Europe was pretty fantastic and came out of nowhere.
And is exactly how the person who loves Disney World, as much as Billy loves Disney World, it's how they attack old things.
Dude, I could visit all of Europe in one day at Disney World.
Just go around Epcot, and I could drink around the world.
Parts of Asia as well.
Five steps, yeah, all around the world.
Can you guys get for me again, please, the commercial for David Sampson that we played during one of the breaks here?
Because David Sampson is actively pressing on trying to bother people and enjoying the bothering of people.
So I ask what you guys think.
What do you guys think of this intro for First Ballot Hall of Fame or Killed Baseball in Miami?
Hi, I'm David Sampson.
How would you like to sit down with me and talk about success in business, which equals money?
And I like money.
And let's face it, there's a lot of guys in baseball who could learn a thing or two about money.
I'll tell you how I went from a law school guy to a newspaper delivery guy to a Wall Street guy to baseball.
guy to a media guy. If you're smart, great. Maybe you can imitate me. If you're not, take solace.
You're just like nearly everybody else. So, you want to talk business? Think of me as your
only fans for rich guys. David, you know this. This is why people don't like you. You're like
capitalism in human form. But if people like you and dislike you, then you really have a show.
And I do have a show. Every Monday to Friday, 7 a.m.
to 9 a.m. Eastern. Be there.
It's five days a week. Nothing
personal with David Samson.
He's so sinister.
Who goes from law school to being a paper boy?
It's a weird trajectory.
I see like we honestly were heading in the wrong direction until mommy got married.
He works hard.
Who said that?
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